#other members never misuse words

[cherryxblossxms]

🔞 Letting Buggy fuck his frustrations into you~

[nsfw obviously, afab reader, oral (m receiving), some degradation, rough sex, some ass slapping, creampie, followed by fluffy aftercare; a lil devil fruit misuse; 1.6k ahahahaha this....... was intended to be short idk what happened]

He's extremely hesitant when you first bring it up because he knows he's strong, and he never wants to bring anger into the bedroom. He's already anxious when it comes to his relationship with you, he wonders how he ended up with someone like you and if he even deserves you. It's a thought that's on his mind on a near-constant basis, though it improves over time. So the first several times, he adamantly refuses.

He still tends to fall back on old habits and mannerisms and it takes a lot for him to rein himself back in, control it so he's not causing harm to you. He already feels awful when this causes a fight with you that he didn't intend. So even though you're the one bringing this subject up, he's still worried that he'll hurt you somehow, physically or emotionally or maybe even both, and he'd never forgive himself if it caused you to leave.

It takes a while to convince him. But eventually, there's one day where seemingly nothing was going right. Buggy and his crew dealt with a particularly annoying opponent, destroyed a town but didn't get much loot out of it, and none of the crew members could seem to do anything right. At this point, all he wants is to shut himself in his room with you and forget about the world.

And then he remembers your offer.

The second he gets back to the ship, he's dragging you back to his cabin. He doesn't say anything at first, but you can see the gears turning in his head, thinking of what he needs to say. When he finally does speak, it's clearly with much effort over thinly veiled desire and frustration, asking you if you're sure that you want this.

He asks you not once, not twice, but three times. Even as you move forward to kiss his jaw, as you trail your hands over his abdomen and down to cup his growing erection, as he lets you brush your lips over his, he's still asking in between to make absolutely sure you're okay with this, because once you give the okay, he's not letting you go and he's not going easy. And it's clear how much he's struggling not to take you right then and there.

Finally, once he's convinced you understand what you're asking for and established a safe word and a call sign in case things get out of control, it's like the floodgates open. He's ripping your shirt open, buttons flying everywhere. You're on your knees before you know what's happening, face to face with the straining tent in his pants, and Buggy's hand holding the back of your head to keep you close.

He has you undress him, exposing his fuzzy chest and watching as you undo and tug his pants down, and his cock is so eager that it slaps against your jaw, catching you with his dripping precum. It's always intoxicating being on your knees for your captain, but it's even moreso as he directs you on how to touch him, no hands allowed. But you're happy to oblige, teasing him with your tongue along the side of his shaft and along his heavy balls, drawing out a needy groan from his painted lips before he's gripping your hair, indicating his patience is waning quickly. And you're not one to want to anger your captain most days, or deprive him of what he needs. So you happily oblige, finally taking him into your mouth.

He's a struggle to fit in your mouth on a good day, blessed with a thick curved shaft that always manages to make you scream, and it's even harder now that you're doing this hands-free. But as Buggy directs your movements, bobbing your head on his dick, it's intoxicating letting him control your movement. It also doesn't help as you feel a hand suddenly grabbing your rear, having not even noticed he detached one. He temporarily lets go of your head to detach the other hand, using them to tug your pants and underwear down your thighs, before one hand comes back up to continue holding your head.

As you keep sucking him off, it shouldn't be a surprise as his one hand slides between your thighs, lightly brushing against your clit and sliding between your lower lips. What does surprise you both is how wet you are, and Buggy has no shame in pointing it out, commenting on how needy you are, what a slut you are to get off on being used like this. Buggy is no stranger to dirty talk, (it's hard to get him to stop talking about anything truly), but this time it's obvious how affected he is by everything.

He's quickly pumping one, two, three fingers between your legs, making you moan around his shaft as he preps you for the main event. With all the frustration built up in him, it's not long before he's twitching, already ready to cum, especially as he gets to listen to your noises. But he wants to finally take you. He pulls you off of him, dick coated in your spit, and you look fucked out already, making him chuckle. Once he reattaches the hand that was fingering you, he's finally completely removing your bottoms and hoisting you up in his arms, letting your legs wrap around his hips as he presses you to the cabin wall.

It's a struggle not to scream as he immediately pushes in, still causing some stretch even with all the prep. And although his thighs are shaking with the effort, he gives you just enough time to adjust before he's pounding you into the wood. If the ship wasn't already rocking with the sea, you're sure his movements alone would have made the place shake, the sounds of your wetness and skin slapping filling the air. At one point, he adjusts his position so your legs dangle over his forearms, effectively folding you like a lawn chair and allowing him to reach even deeper.

Your first orgasm blindsides you, making you scream and shake in his arms as Buggy keeps fucking you towards overstimulation, his movement barely halted as you suddenly clamp down on him. He slows his pace, but only barely, just enough to tell you how good you are for taking him like this... but that he's not done yet. You can barely register his words before you're on his bed, face down and ass up, thighs trembling from your orgasm and a cooling feeling between your legs as your cunt is exposed and presented.

You can only imagine what a mess it looks like, especially given the pounding he'd just given you, before a hand comes down on your ass, snapping you out of your thoughts and drawing a cry from your lips. Now this is not unusual for Buggy, whose hands are always finding their way to your ass. He loves the plush, the jiggle, and he especially loves the noises you make when he slaps it. But of course, even that's short-lived as he grinds his shaft against you, still hard and aching to cum already, before pushing in once more.

By now, although he hasn't cum yet, Buggy is actually feeling better already. Just having you cum for him, watching your expressions and feeling the way you hold onto him, eased much of his frustration, now mostly replaced by just his usual hunger for you. So he's quick to snap his hips against yours once more, making you moan against the sheets as he sets a brutal pace. Once again, one of his hands separates to keep up occasional slapping, making you tighten around him, before it eventually slides between your legs against to circle your clit.

The sensations are too much, and you're babbling as such before you realize it, but Buggy is quick to promise he's almost done, just a little bit longer, you're doing so good for him and he can't wait to fill you up. By now, his body is pressing down on yours, warm and sweaty and strong, his balls and thighs slapping against you with each thrust, and his detached hand still toying with your sensitive pearl, trying its hardest to make you cum again.

The combination of things finally drives you over the edge, and your orgasm triggers Buggy's this time, making you both moan in tandem as Buggy presses in close, cumming deep inside as your cunt tries to milk him for everything its worth. His moans echo in your ear, hot breath panting against your shoulder as you two struggle for breath. It takes much too long to separate, and the ache between your thighs tells you just how sore you'll be tomorrow. But as Buggy comes into your view, now seeking to check on your wellbeing after fucking your brains out, you can see that it'll be well worth it, his eyes only filled with love and worry now instead of their earlier anger.

Buggy always struggles a bit with aftercare, but he tries his best for you, finding the cleanest rag he can to clean between your legs. Once you're dressed in one of his shirts, he's quickly pulling you into his arms. It's sweet, if overbearing, how he's checking in with you and asking you about a hundred times if you're okay, if he was too rough, if there was anything you didn't like or if he scared you. You might have to interrupt him with a kiss to get him to stop for a moment, but once he's reassured about how you feel, he'll finally relax.

When you first brought up this offer, he was so scared about how it would turn out, afraid to hurt you and afraid to scare you off. But now that it's out of the way and he knows you're okay, he might be more willing to come to you more often with his... troubles.

#its year of the clown fucker yeehaw #buggy x reader #buggy one piece #buggy smut #one piece smut #buggy thirsts #afab reader #i cannot believe the chokehold this character has on me i am suffering #posting this before i chicken out so its not really proofread... #the minx can write ✍️ #spicy minx 🔥

[writingescapades]

Peafowls I - Peacock

It was your book that started the whole escapade. Here he was, a senior manager with the IPC. A man with a troublesome past, a burdensome present, and an uncertain future. Blessed by the goddess, he still gambled with his fate and let all outcomes rain over him. Pretentious, he waved his feathers to razzle, dazzle, and take back what stolen from him.

And you?

You were the Chief Information Manager of the IPC. A silent figure in the background that most people forgot about or groaned over. You did you job and because you did it well, you were partnered with him. A new project meant generating, accessing, creating, and storing information and given the precarious nature of this new project, Aventurine found that he had to work closely alongside you in order to see this project through.

At first, he thought this would just be another project with another IPC member. He wore his sunglasses but waited for the inevitable questions that failed to soften the speaker’s malicious thoughts. He waited for the brisk attitude and the clear desire to be anywhere but around him. But you smiled at him. You greeted him, and you asked him how he was doing.

He watched you. Your reputation preceded you. You came ready with information and questions. You knew how to extract information out of others, and you knew where to keep it safe, secure, and away from prying eyes. Focused. Responsible. Brilliant. So what were you doing working for the IPC? Wasting your talent with an unsavory crowd? It was clear you actually enjoyed your work, but there were other organizations desperately in need of the same role. If you went out into the market, people would chase after your skills. What kept you here?

He fell into his flattering speech. He called you his friend. He told you to use and misuse him as you liked. You gently brushed off his charms. You smiled when he called you friend, and you frowned when he told you to twist him about your fingers. But you didn’t comment much else. Warm but distant to everyone, not just him. Antisocial. Afterall what else would you call reading at a casino? Everyone dresses to impress at a casino. It’s just a part of fitting in while subtly communicating to desired parties. Yet there you sat, near the bar, in plain clothes, engrossed in a book. He saw the glares the bartender threw at you. Your association with the IPC was all that kept him from kicking you away for a paying customer.

Aventurine played a few hands. Each time he won he found himself glancing at you. You were right in his periphery, but you never lifted your head from the book. It was to become a repeated occurrence, the only thing changing was the book you read or the game he played. Finally, one night, he decided to indulge his curiosity and ask what you were reading. You mumbled the name, your attention not yet pulled away, towards him. It irritated him, though he couldn’t understand why. So he called you out, asked you why you were even here when you could go home and read.

Now you looked up at him, and Aventurine saw eyes that revealed nothing. He rested his head over his folded arms and watched as you rested yours on your palm. Neither person spoke, though for different reasons. Finally you sighed and looked at him with a small smile.

“Because I’m your friend, aren’t I?”

Aventurine stayed silent. He watched as your smile turned more mischievous as your waited for his response. Were you really here because you thought of him as a friend? Unable to answer the question or face you, Aventurine left that night. But something changed in your relationship. You became chattier and he often had to watch his words least you thew him a quip. He found himself asking for your thoughts as he planned. It was, fun. Nice. Certainly entertaining. You didn’t stop reading at the casino, but now you both went and left together. He was often the one to lead you to the casino, but you lead him out into the night air.

It was here, in twilight, when most were between sleep and rising, that Aventurine found answers to his questions about you. He saw your kindness. He saw your humour. He found himself slipping, forgetting who he was and just enjoying the moment. You were dangerous. What’s more, Aventurine saw your true character, the way your face warped to hide the insanity that lay thinly underneath. The sudden change in your personality when someone passed a snide remark about him. The way you stood by his side with your head held high. But he wasn’t a fool. He knew you were acting by your principles and not for him personally. You were harsh, and he told you so one night.

You stared at him with stiff eyes and tight lips.

“It’s who I am. To change would be to lie to myself”.

Oh, you had a story to tell. But, it slowly dawned on Aventurine that he cared too much about you to ask for that story, to try to pry it out, or go behind your back. He started to wonder. To dream. Hope. Did you feel the same about him? Is that why, despite curious eyes, you never asked too much about him? Did you already cast judgement on his soul? Or did you just not care about him? Was he just another story in the hundreds you razed through? He didn’t know which outcome he desired enough to gamble upon.

“You see things too intensely,” he found himself saying to you one day. “I think that’s why you’re so disenchanted by life. You can only find admirable people in your books”.

Yet despite his premonitions, Aventurine found himself drawn towards you. He had long stopped wearing his sunglasses around you. He always strutted for himself but was pleased if his dance caught your attention. You walked calmly ahead in life while he danced around. Sometimes he stumbled and wondered if you would leave him behind, but you always slowed down, stopped, and held out your hand, waiting for him just as he waited for you. You desires overlapped despite the difference in personalities.

“Is it so wrong to desire power if it’s only over your own life?” You had asked him one day, and he found himself unable to oppose you any longer.

He tested you, told your things to gage your thoughts and reactions. Instead of running away, he realized that you two started to dance around each other. Promising everything but that which neither was willing to barter.

“We’ll crown ourselves with crests of spurs,” you said softly as your looked out into the land. It had been a tiring day and for once, Aventurine just wanted to collapse into bed. He had too many wishes of you being there beside him, but it was still to frightening. Still to early. Not yet, but maybe, maybe one day.

He didn’t tell you his plan. He didn’t tell you what was about to happen, and his only regret was not being able to see your face crack one last time before he disappeared.

#hsr #honkai star rail #hsr aventurine #aventurine #kakavasha #hsr aventurine x reader #hsr x reader #honkai impact #honkai star rail x reader #aventurine honkai star rail #aventurine x reader #writing #sorry if it's garbled nonsense

[hunnidmilly]

soap |r.r|

(a/n): ill be honest, i never intended to write anything on this blog. as a college student with a job, a bitch be tired asf. but, writing is my happiness. so is delusion ;). complete inspiration comes from @itjazzbicch and their “Cheiftess” series.

enjoy.

*credit to owner. @romanreigns*

Parings: Dom!Roman Reigns x Black!Female Interviewer

Warnings: enemies to lovers????maybe still enemies. Smut. Lots of Smut. Swearing. Don’t interact if you’re under 18. ion like prison.

*NOT EDITED. SPELLING ERRORS AND MISUSE OF PRESENT/PAST TENSE*

—

*takes place in 2021, feud between Roman Reigns vs Kevin Owens.*

It was Friday; Another boring ass Friday. The only difference was that he was here. And today, Jesus was he mad. But that’s just him nowadays anyway. Maybe it was due to the fact of Kevin Owens calling him out repeatedly. If there was one thing Roman Reigns refused to tolerate, it was disrespect. Disrespect to him meant disrespect to his family, his bloodline. Everyone in the arena already knew what he was capable of when he felt his heritage was disrespected. And best believe nobody wanted to engage with those consequences.

Over the last few months, since Roman’s return, he’s had a complete fucking identity change. He came back with a badass attitude, ready to take on anyone who was a threat to him and his family. His ego boost was on 100, with no sight of it coming back down to earth. But between you and your late-night thoughts? His persona, the “Tribal Chief,” had you imaging shit you didn’t even know could be possible. You knew that man could turn and twist you in ways that could be so pleasurable you could forget your name by only thinking about it.

As a backstage interviewer covering for Renee, while she enjoyed the beauty of her pregnancy with her husband, Jon, and you were temporary for now. Still, rumors swirled backstage on whether you’d stay. Stephanie and the other backstage crew mentioned more than once before how they loved how you can get into the superstars' minds during their interview. You gave a talk, unlike other interviewers—who were playing around the bush and being corny. You asked questions that could make them shiver or test their confidence. Or both.

You were on your way to your interview point, to interview Roman. Which you already knew was going to be dreadful. With how he treated Kayla during her interview, you knew he already had multiple insults ready for your questions. Little did he know you had something for his ass had he decided to pull it.

“You’re late.” He growls, readjusting his championship, Paul and Jey behind him

“I’m right on time. I said at 8:30, and it’s currently 8:30.” You smartly answer, taking your mic from one of the production members

“You’re supposed to be here when I’m here. I don’t give a damn about what time it is.” He snarls in your direction, “You have a once in a lifetime opportunity, don’t blow it.”

“I’ll assure you I won’t, Tribal Chief.” You give him a challenging smile

You clear your throat and smooth out the wrinkles in your skirt under his intense gaze at you before looking at the camera.

“Ladies and gentlemen, I am currently here right now with our Smackdown WWE Champi—”

You were cut off as Roman placed his hand over the mic stopping the sound, “No, no, no, baby girl. If you want to introduce me, you’re going to do it right. Paul.” He calls for as he stepped aside for the short stubby man to speak

You roll your eyes as you lean your mic over to Paul—who held a grin on his face.

“Ladies and gentlemen, myself, and your lovely interviewer y/n are currently grateful to be in the presence of Head of the table, Smackdown WWE Champion, and ‘your’ Tribal Chief, Roman Reigns.” Paul giddily recites into the mic

“Okay, so Roman, last week you unleashed a brutal attack on Kevin Owens. You believe that you have to make him fear you, but are you starting to think his words are getting into your head?”

Roman lets out a chuckle before turning to Paul and Jey, “You see what I mean now? We give people like her chances in a million, and they blow it on stupid questions. Kevin Owens is irrelevant, just like you’re about to be. Find a better question. Next.”

You kiss your teeth before, letting out an aggravated sigh. With Roman’s new ego boost, you and practically everyone else in the arena wanted to sucker punch him in his face. And you planned to do so on your last day here.

“Do you feel as though, by using Jey as a pawn, you’re allowing yourself to get too comfortable? By using Jey as a backup, you make yourself an easy target to attack. Maybe other superstars think It’ll be easy to use him to make you riled up?” You question with a slight smirk

“Another dumb question. Ever since I took Jey under my wing, he’s been the main event three times in a row. I love my cousin. I’m a provider. I get riled up when I sense disrespect. Disrespect to me is disrespect to my family, my bloodline. Everything my family worked for will only be recognized with respect and decency, not in a silly conversation or this interview. If anybody would like to test that theory of me as a target, they can try; they won’t get too far.” He responds in a healthy, confident tone

“Jey, would you agree? Those people who disrespect your family will be dealt with? Perhaps in the same fashion, he’s dealt with you?”

Strikeout.

You knew that was the easiest way to get to Roman; Through Jey’s head. He also made his blood boil by mentioning the gruesome beating Roman gave to Jey in their matches.

Roman stated multiple times that the beatings Jey endured were well deserved in all aspects. He also hated when Jey answered any questions about it. He knew that by Jey telling his story of their bond, it would be dangerous to take it and misuse the information, making Roman vulnerable.

Roman gave Jey a side glare—silently telling him to choose his words carefully—before turning to Paul with an impatient expression.

“No...you know….” Jey stammers in nervousness, “It takes a lot to understand the pressure my cousin has on his back. He’s a provider to our family. He does what he has to do to take care of the people who matter most to him. People like Kevin Owens, Drew Mcintyre...they threatened that position he has at the table—”

“Do you agree? Roman feels threatened by Kevin Owens and WWE Universal Champion Drew Mcintyre?”

You could see Jey start to shift, meaning he was immensely trying to pick his words before saying anything that could cause Roman’s anger to be retaliated. Again.

“That’s enough for this interview. The Tribal Chief is needed elsewhere.” Paul inserts before moving his hand back and forth over his throat—signaling the production team to cut the cameras

You pop your lips before looking up at Roman’s frustrated brown filled eyes. You notice how his expression softens for almost a second the longer you look at him, “You have some strong confidence, I see. That attitude can get you in some trouble, babygirl.”

“My attitude is wonderful. I’m doing my job, just like you’re doing yours, Roman. The only thing is that I’m not a little bitch, with the urge to belittle everyone because I’m insecure about my potential and qualities.”

Roman gave you a sly smirk that almost makes you want to kick him in his face, “Insecure?” He chuckles devilishly, “That mouth of yours is dangerous. You should close it before I show you how to use it properly.”

He whispers the last part, leaning down to your ear, so Jey and Paul are out of shot, leaving your cheeks flush from embarrassment. Your shift on your feet, shaking your head in amazement.

You were sick of his shit.

You stuck your tongue in the side of your cheek and turned on your heel to walk over to the monitors. You continue watching the rest of the show, occasionally engaging with other superstars who walked by. Your mind continued to lose focus as you thought back to your interview with Roman.

You thought about his body language against you. He consistently sized up and was rigid towards everyone he talked to backstage as if with one wrong move, he’d be ready to bodyslam anybody. But around you, he wasn’t as tense. He was in his natural element; himself. You could see small smirks appearing on his face suggesting he was enjoying getting under your skin.

Roman ended up winning his match against Kevin through Jey handcuffing Kevin to the steel cage. You crack your neck and relax your shoulders. Roman could win a match without Jey or Paul by his side. Of course, that was just his character now. Still, something about seeing how much his dominance shows through his performance and his interactions with everyone else was secretly intriguing to you, how he ditched his vest and began to wrestle shirtless.

He should've been doing this shit when he got out of The Shield with Jon and Colby.

After Smackdown ended, everyone started to clean up. The long drive to the next city was crucial. You’d be driving all night long practically, inside of a small rental car. You could already feel the back cramps, the charlie horses, and the arm strains. You wanted to get your body at least some kind of relaxation before you began the midnight journey, so you head straight to the locker room showers for a hot shower to calm your nerves.

On the way towards the locker rooms, you heard yelling. You turn your head for your eyes to come in direct contact with Roman’s brown ones, completely tensed and filled with rage. You could feel the tension sweating off his muscular body throughout the atmosphere. He was yelling at Jey for interrupting his match when he had it under control. Jey being his current lapdog, he had no choice but to listen to the 6’3 ‘Tribal Chief’.

You swallow harshly under his intense gaze and continue your path to the showers with your luggage in your hand.

You were met with complete silence—thank god.—when you enter the showers. You lock the door behind you and turn the knob to a blazing hot setting. What? Hot showers are good, but blazing hot showers? Even better. Just the feel of your skin under the water steaming off you made your body instantly settle.

You quickly undress from head to toe, cracking your neck to the side. Before you could lift your feet to walk into the shower, you felt a large hand on your lower back shoving you inside, causing you to let out a screech.

The person roughly turns your body to face them, and you come face to face with none other than the Samoan. Nude as the day he was born, with his cock standing at attention against his muscled stomach.

“Ah!” You squeak under his large hand, covering your mouth, with the under holding the arch of your back close to his hard-built and sweaty frame.

“You’ve enjoyed this, haven't you. Were you running around all damn day provoking me? Getting in Jeys head, asking bullshit questions, smart ass remarks, and this tight fucking dress squeezing your body in all the right places? Do you enjoy playing games with me? Why would you play games with me? With your Chief?” He growled close to your face; the showers were now steaming around both your naked bodies.

“Do you enjoy being a little bitch boy? Fucking thinking everyone falls at your beck and call to please you?” His hand on your mouth was lowering as you struggled to get out of his hold on you.

“I don’t think, babygirl. Everyone falls because of who the hell I am! I am the Tribal Chief. I am your Tribal Chief. I am the face of this company, holding it on my back every day. You have no clue what that will ever feel like because you’re too busy running that pretty little smart-ass mouth of yours. Maybe it’s time for me to give you some discipline? For you to acknowledge me?” He pants in a cautious tone

You stop struggling for a moment, letting him pull you closer. You lean up closer to his lips, a mere centimeters away from your lips touching, “Like hell would I ever acknowledge you as anything other than a whiny fucking brat.” You sultrily respond

He lets out a humorless chuckle before responding, “It’s your punishment, babygirl.” With that simple response, he smacks his lips onto yours with force ending any further communication. You kiss him back with just as much roughness.

Your hand slides up to tangle themselves into his long dark black hair, pulling softly. You moan softly as Roman bit down on your lip, gaining entry to your mouth, both your tongues fighting for control.

The control you desperately desired to have.

He let you win for a moment to lower his hands under your ass to lift you around his waist. He takes a handful of your ass, pressing your body into the wall.

“Fuck!” You whine out as he takes a large hand to deliver a smack to your ass.

“You will acknowledge me. Do you understand me? You will fucking respect your Tribal Chiff, or I’m going to make you respect me. Am I clear?” He moans in your ear as your lips latch onto his neck, leaving love bites.

You were so caught up in the clouds of your head, with the thought of him fucking you that you didn’t even think twice about what he said, “Am. I. Clear?” He reiterates each word with a smack to your ass

“You’re such a jackass!” You mewl loudly, feeling him rub his long thick cock between your wet folds; lifting your legs to wrap around his muscular torso

“What was that?”

“I said you’re such a—Fuck, Roman!” You scream as the feeling of him stretching out your pussy to accommodate his cock overtook you to places you haven’t visited in a long time. You were anything but a virgin. But working at WWE had its downsides to finding good dick. Deciding to focus on your career, you decide to pause on sex for a while

Roman gave you a second to get used to the feeling of you being so painfully stretched out around his cock. “You wanna finish that sentence, babygirl?”

You could barely pay attention with his cock slamming in and out of you, already fucking at a furious and rough pace so quickly. Breathing in harshly as he pulls out to split you open on his cock again.

“Don’t stop! Roman, please don’t stop!” You moan, gripping onto his stiff shoulders

“Fuck! Look at you moaning my name like the slut you are. What happened to all that shit you were saying a moment ago?” Roman pants deeply in your ear

“I—Ah!” You squeal as Romans hands grip your thighs, bouncing you up and down his thick cock

“Shit, where am I, baby? Do you feel me in those guts? Deep inside that pretty little pussy? It’s my pussy now. The Tribal Chiefs pussy.” He deeply chuckles into your ear, his cock rubbing over your g-spot at every thrust, letting silent screams come out your mouth “All that bratty ass attitude...talking to me like you’re above me. Giving me nothing but fucking sass. The whole time you’re nothing but a slut for my cock, aren’t you? Letting me fuck you in the showers? You’re gonna give me this pussy anytime I fucking want it.”

You let out a loud salacious whine as Roman slowly pulls out. He sets you down on your feet, flipping your body around letting your hard nipples collide with the cold and wet glass wall. He uses his foot to spread your legs apart. Roman slides a hand into your hair, yanking while simultaneously sliding his cock back into you.

“Fuck! You’re so fuck–“ You swallow a silent gasp as you felt him bite down on your shoulder. “You’re so fucking aggravating!”

“I'm aggravating, but who's taking this dick right now? Who’s dripping more than a faucet?” His confidence booms into your ear in a grunt

“Good dick doesn’t stop you from being an asshole.”

“But it makes you satisfied, doesn’t it?” He responds breathlessly before speeding up, cutting off your next reply

You place both your hands on the glass attempting to throw your ass back on him.If he thought he was controlling the situation, you were definity about to show him otherwise, by making him cum first. As breathless pant’s begin to leave his mouth, you feel him lean forward pressing his front against your back. You work hard at the thought of not cumming. Roman’s left hand comes down to rub your clit at a fast pace making that thought…just a thought. You bite down on your lip until the blood drains from it to stop yourself from relishing in the euphoric bliss you knew Roman was about to grant you.

“I can feel you clenching around me. Look at you. Fighting the urge to cum right now. Come on, babygirl. I know you’re good for it, let go. Acknowledge me as your chief. Let me see how fucked out you turn for me.” His voice sends shocks through your spine that leads to your core.

You gasp as your leg turns inwards, you throw your head back mewling to the ceiling for mercy as you finally let your orgasm crest. Not too far behind you; Roman allows his orgasm to follow through deep into your pussy. Primal roar’s coming deep from his chest bounce off the walls.

If anyone else was showering, they're certainly gone now.

With Roman holding your body in a death grip tight to his chest, you allow yourself to take a moment to let the following events settle in your mind. Having sex with Roman wasn’t the problem; it was the what if’s that clouded your already fucked out brain. Sex didn’t change how you felt about him. He was still an entitled brat with no sympathy for anyone. And he was definitely the last person you’d fall in love with.

“I think you should get going. I’m sure your entourage is going to come looking for you soon.” You choke out, attempting to break from his hold.

“They’re fine wherever they're at. They don’t do anything unless I give them the ok for it.” He sighs into your neck leaving kisses behind

Before falling too deep into his trap, you muster up enough strength to remove his arms from your body, “Okay, stop it.”

“Oh c'mon. Are you seriously about to ruin an amazing time here?” He snaps leaning onto the shower wall

“Did you think fucking me was going to make us best friends forever?” You question turning off the shower

“I see it didn’t work too well. You’re still the same old Y/N. Don’t act like this wasn’t the best thing to disturb your night.” He says returning back into his asshole self

“Oh no, trust me. That was amazing. Maybe you can get permission from your Daddy again to come and play again.” You laugh grabbing your body towel to dry yourself off

“Oh we’ll have to see about that. The next time you’re in need of me to make you forget your own name, just call me. I’ll always come running, baby.”

You drop your towel as you bend over with hysteric laughs coming out your mouth, “Oh fucking please. Me? Beg you? I wouldn’t hold my breath on that.”

“We’ll see. You know where to find me.”

#roman reigns imagine #roman empire #roman reigns one shot #roman reigns smut #wwe #wwe one shot #wwe smut #roman reigns #roman reigns fanfiction #roman reigns x reader #roman reigns head cannon #jey uso #royal rumble #kevin owens #jey uso smut #jey uso imagine #paul heyman

[creatingnikki]

What I've learned in 2023 (part I)

i. Compatibility is what you are looking for. A compatible home, a compatible partner, a compatible workplace, a compatible friend circle. Compatible with who you are as a person and the kind of life you want to live. Compatible so that you don’t constantly have to use so much of your energy in trying to fight unnecessary battles simply to exist how you are. When the spaces you are in and the people you are with are not compatible with your existence the way it is, the way you want it to be, there will be constant chaos, distress, and conflict for which you will have to use so much energy. But if you are in compatible spaces with compatible people – not ideal, not perfect, simply compatible – then you can use that energy towards creating and building things that matter to you. Because your everyday choices? They are not being questioned, judged, or blocked.

ii. Lessons will keep repeating themselves until you've learned them. So you have to start paying attention. Realizations in themselves are not lessons learned. Change in actions and thought processes is. So, yes, lessons will keep repeating themselves until you learn them. And even once you have learned them. It's like with how we learned the same subjects in school year after year. Just because you learned Geography in grade 5, does not mean you still did not have to in grades 6, 7, 8, and so on. Life lessons too have additional layers, context, and depth. It can all feel very Sisyphean. But the boulder is never the exact same twice. Similar but not identical.

iii. Just because he was a puppy before, does not mean he is not a कुत्ता (dog) right now.

iv. 인연 (in-yeon) is the fate specific to the meeting of two people, the ties two people share over the course of their lives. Someone you have perhaps comes across in your past life/lives in various capacities. And so, yes, when you come across someone you feel comfortable with, can have meaningful conversations with effortlessly, feel a ‘connection’ with, feel the 인연 with it feels special. But 인연 is also the fate of this life. Maybe in this life you’re only meant to share this very limited, very brief, 인연 with someone. Even if you feel this deep connection. Maybe in this life they are not meant to be your soulmate or your best friend. Maybe they are only meant to be your professor or your neighbour. Let it be so. Accept that fate, accept this life’s 인연 with them. No matter the intensity of the connection. Again, let things run their natural course. There is no other way.

v. I am an open book that even a blind man can read. An open book so heavily and aesthetically self-annotated that people can play me like a fool just for shits and giggles. And while I have started to appreciate humour a lot more in life, I am not okay with my candidness, earnestness, and vulnerability being mocked, manipulated, or misused. I am still not clear on how to protect myself in this aspect but I do know two things clearing — first, forcing myself to change who I am at my most authentic core is not the answer. Second, there, however, does need to be some protection. Think of yourself like a special edition, rare precious book in a fancy, restricted-access library. Only members, who loves books, who value books, who take great care of them, and have a track record of doing so can borrow the book/check it out of the library. Essentially, you must be more mindful of who gets access to you. And like you can continue being your real, authentic self, but you do not have to be that all the time and with everybody.

vi. Speaking about vulnerability, let's talk about the semantics of it for a bit. It's The word 'vulnerability' is derived from the Latin word 'vulnus' which literally means — the ability to wound. Why? Why would you do that with people you don't yet know well + trust to be safe? That's why one of the lessons of this year is the realization to get rid of this blanket vulnerability. It's not some sort of strength, it's simply dangerous.

vii. On that note, conversations, even emotional conversations cannot be an indicator of the actual real (lasting) comfort and intimacy and trust between you and the other person. That only happens naturally over time.

viii. So, yeah, timing and time? It is your friend; not a bitch. Allow people and things time to run their course and reveal themselves to you. There’s no need to feel anxious or responsible to make things with somebody flow a certain way because at the end of the day, no matter what you say or do, things will pan out the way they are meant to. So, trying to rush things, trying to lowkey orchestrate them, or putting so much thought into things like how you’re punctuating your texts is futile. What is meant to be is meant to be and feeling FOMO when it comes to people and relationships only really happens when you create elaborate scenarios in your head before even getting to know somebody.

ix. Capturing everything more in videos instead of pictures is precious. That motion of your friend kissing your cheek and that motion of the street cat moving her tale in and out of the sunshine falling on the ground is what you really want to capture and look back on.

#what i've learned #2023 #writerscreed #poeticstories #poetryportal #writtenconsiderations #inkstay #lists #life lessons #lessons learned #notes to self #what I've learned in 2023 #poets on tumblr #writers on tumblr #spilled thoughts #vulnerability #fomo #inyeon #past lives #self awareness #self reflection #self care #end of year #end of year review #reflection #reminder #words to live by #spilled ink #words to remember #words to think about

[sunshinebarbie]

melatonin dreams

pairing: Hyunjin x reader warnings: language, mentions of excessive use of melatonin, sad hyunjin, hallucinations words: 2,251 parts: one | two | about: Hyunjin is dealing with the consequences of his infidelity.

a/n: this is the somewhat part 2 to the first part which has a totally different title haha. idk i couldn't work with the title on this part. anyway fun fact some of this was written from personal experience. ALSO i DO NOT condone the misuse or abuse of any type of sleeping aid supplements. PLEASE take your sleepy supplements responsibly!

*this part of the story is like, super heavy and could be and possibly is VERY VERY triggering. i understand that a lot of you really wanted a part 2 but if this is something that will be disturbing to you please don't read it.*

Keeping true to your word, you cut off Hyunjin. It was almost like the years you spent with him were completely made up in his head. At this point he could convince himself that it really was all made up. The only evidence of your existence was the ring with your birthday that he still wore on a chain around his neck. The other matching one, that you returned to him twirled aimlessly between his thumb and finger. 

Hyunjin stared at the t.v set, his own reflection stared back at him. Well, the reflection of the shell of who he used to be. The guys were taking a break before their next comeback, while the other members were jet setting to fulfill their ambassador duties, Hyunjin was home. alone. 

Dripped head to toe in week old clothes, oversized slippers, and tired eyes from the excessive amounts of melatonin coursing through his body. The longer he stared at the blank screen the more he began to see you in the reflection, or rather the memories that you both shared. With each blink of his tired eyes it felt like a channel changed to another memory.  

(“this can be our spot.” you gushed as Hyunjin took you to the restaurant where you had your first date. “i know you love this spot, so this is where I wanted to take you for our one year anniversary” he pressed a soft kiss to your knuckles. Pulling back inches away he looked at your hand that was still softly held in his. “what?” you nervously pulled your hand back, you were never one for nail care but being with Hwang Hyunjin made you feel insecure about the small things that you never cared about before. “nothing” Hyunjin sighed, “i just realized how pretty your fingers would look with the right kind of jewelry” Hyunjin turned around and pulled a small box from his bag. “this isn’t what you think it is, because we’re literally only celebrating one year together” he chuckled and slid the box towards you. You fought the smile that tried to spread across your lips. Opening the box was the most beautiful but simple ring. “your birthday?” you looked at the engraving of some numbers on the side. “that way you won’t forget” he teased. “that was ONE time” you playfully argued back “and you were on tour so it doesn’t count” Hyunjin smiled brightly and pulled you in for a soft kiss. “it’s so I'm with you even on days when I'm not with you.” he mumbled against your lips and pressed another more passionate kiss.) 

Hyunjin lifted his heavy eyelids and looked towards the ceiling, he couldn’t even remember what day it was, or let alone if he had an ounce of sleep after taking melatonin after melatonin when he felt like it wasn’t working. “maybe if I sleep and I wake up, it would be a dream and I'll wake up in y/n’s room on her bed, to her making breakfast” he sighed. Hyunjin was well aware of his mistake, but what had him this down was the fact that he hated how he could feel so much love and admiration for you and then it just disappeared when this new girl walked in. He hated how it didn’t work out between the two of you, and how he felt like he couldn’t even try to make it work.  

 Shifting his weight against the sofa cushion he turned back towards the T.V screen, pulling his arm in front of him, he reached for the mug sitting on the coffee table. He pulled the rim of the mug to his lips and took a sip of the once hot kava tea that was now ice cold. He leaned forward to put the mug back on the coffee table when he felt a hand touch his... 

“Hyunnie?” your soft voice called him and grabbed the mug from his weak grip. You sat down on the couch by his feet and looked at him with wide eyes. “you look tired.” you gently patted his thigh. “i am.” Hyunjin mumbled back lazily. “why can’t you sleep?” you asked and gently caressed his forehead. “because I’m so lost without you.” he replied truthfully. “you should rest.” you replied and leaned forward to press a kiss to his forehead... 

Hyunjin opened his eyes, the room was darker from the window was black from the night sky. He looked at the coffee table, he must have dozed off after drinking his tea and dropped the mug all over his white rug. He slipped into another kava tea induced fantasy. The third one if he was keeping count.  

“y/n” his voice mumbled as he forced himself to sit up. He grabbed his phone and searched for your text messages ignoring the dozens from the rest of the members, and from his new girlfriend. With a few taps he had the phone pressed against his cheek, the other lined hummed as he waited for you to pick up. Once again, he got the voicemail bot.  

“y/n” he sniffled trying to compose himself. “please answer me next time.” his voice was lined with sadness. “i-I just want to hear your voice.” he mumbled, feeling another wave of sleep consuming him. “y/n-” he sighed into a yawn. “i’m-i’m filled with so much sadness” he mumbled and hung up. Hyunjin looked at the blank T.V screen. His eyelids weighing heavy again, as another picture began to distort on the screen. 

(“Hyunjin I'm sorry, but I can’t make it” you sighed as you continued to pack your bag. “it’s an important night and I want you to be there.” Hyunjin whined as he started to pull out the clothes you just put in your bag. “and I want to be there too baby; but-my family need me too.” you faked a pout. “and stop that.” you giggled and playfully slapped the top of his hand. “ow” he whined and pouted. “i’m sorry baby” you frowned and kissed his hand as an apology. “I tell you what, when I get back, just me and you can go and celebrate the launch of your new ambassador title.” you assured him. Hyunjin put his hands on your waist and pulled you into his lap. “can we I at least get a taste of that celebration” his fingers ran down the spine of your back. You licked your lips and smiled at him feeling your cheeks redden. Hyunjin just smiled back at you and fell on his back pulling you down on top of him, his lips connecting with yours in a soft and passionate kiss.) 

Hyunjin shook his head and slowly laid his head back down against the couch arm rest. Remembering that later that night at the welcoming party is where he met her. She was very attentive to him, and brought him out of his usual shell that he hid inside of when he was surrounded by people, he didn’t know yet. They drank champagne and ate tiny food and talked until the security chased them out because the party was over. She gave him her number and the rest was history. As days began to pass by, your family emergency took on your full attention and the more your focus was on family, the more his was on his new friend.  

Eventually one night, she invited him over for dinner and drinks. You were back home with your family so it didn’t cross his mind that it could be anything more. But after a few drinks on empty stomachs, he woke up the next morning, in a strange room, with no clothes and the worst hangover he ever felt.  

Hyunjin snapped himself awake, this time the sun was shining against his face through the window. That and the frantic knocking on his door. Hyunjin moaned from tiredness and looked at his phone which was dead from not being on the charger, he couldn’t even determine how long he was asleep.  

Hyunjin rubbed his eyes and walked to the door, and turned the knob. Chan, Changbin and Felix were standing in shock seeing their friend in front of them. “so you just don’t answer your phone anymore?!” Chan scolded him as the trio walked into Hyunjin’s apartment. “phone is dead” he replied in a tired voice and sat on the couch. “so charge it?” Changbin chimed in. Hyunjin sighed, blocking out his friend’s angry tones and closed his eyes. “we were worried.” Felix added. “about what?” Hyunjin asked with his eyes still closed. 

“y/n called us in a panic, and said you left some alarming messages on her phone.” Chan replied. Hyunjin’s eyes opened wide as he sat up straight. “you talked to y/n?” he asked frantically. “yes, why else would we be here you didn’t calls any of us.” Changbin added. “did she seem happy?” Hyunjin ignored his Hyung’s and looked at Felix. “i don’t think anyone would be happy hearing the voicemails you left” Felix replied honestly.  

“where is she? Did she come with you all?” Hyunjin walked to the door, Chan looked at the coffee table littered with trash, and melatonin bottles. “what were you doing?” Chan asked looking at Hyunjin who was sitting back down. Hyunjin looked at the coffee table and back at Chan. “I-” Hyunjin looked at Chan and Changbin who equally looked disappointed and afraid. “I couldn’t sleep, I just needed something to help me.” Hyunjin replied honestly. “so you took an excessive amount? Hyunjin.” Chan sighed and shook his head.  

“Chan, I'm serious, I wasn’t trying to-” Hyunjin replied. He looked in the eyes of his friends, all filled with concern and fear. Hyunjin could see the tears fill his eyes as he dropped his head and fell into sobs. “I’m stuck in this awful state of mind, and I can’t say goodbye to the times I had with y/n” Hyunjin choked out. “i’m so alone- and I know I did her so wrong-” he sobbed harder, his sentence began to sound like a mixture of sniffles and prolonged whines.  

“Hyunjin” Chan sighed and sat beside his friend. He wrapped his arm around his shoulders and patted him in comfort. Hyunjin leaned into his Hyung’s body and buried his face into his shirt. “i never even loved her, I was just lonely.” he sobbed. “who?” Chan asked a confused look on his face. “the girl who took me away from my y/n” he replied. “Hyunjin” Chan sighed again and nudged him away. “relationships are hard, and I told you that when you introduced us to y/n the first time.” Chan reminded him “i told you, I knew you well enough and I asked you if you were mature enough for a relationship” Chan added. “now look at you, and the mess you’re in.” 

“are you even still with that girl?” Felix asked looking around at any sign of her presence. Hyunjin shook his head. “after I left y/n’s the day we officially broke up, she was here and I told her to go away and never come back or contact me again.” Hyunjin sniffled. 

Changbin walked back in with Hyunjin’s phone “it’s only at 14%.” he handed it to Hyunjin. Hyunjin looked at the mass amount of texts and calls he accumulated. He opened the missed calls at least six of them were from you. “I don’t want to call her back.” he turned his phone off and tossed it back on the table.  

“she is really worried about you, so don’t keep her waiting for too long.” Felix assured him. Chan looked at his friend as he slumped over on the couch. “how about this, I get the rest of the members here, and we can watch movies, order food, and just hang out.” Chan looked at Hyunjin for his response. He just smiled a weak but assuring smile. “you’re never alone Hyunjin.” Chan assured him, “you have us, and we aren’t going to leave even if you tell us to get out and never contact you again.” he earned a soft chuckle from his friend.  

Felix excused himself from the group as his phone rang and went outside, “how is he?” you asked in a panic. “i’m driving over right now, I'm just down the street-” you started to panic. “he’s fine y/n, well, not good but-talking if that’s what you mean” Felix replied and looked over his shoulder to make sure no one came out to hear him on the phone. “Chan is calling a movie night here at Hyunjin’s” he added. “that was really scary Lix.” you sniffled into the phone. “Yeah,” Felix sighed. “but for now, I think it’s best if you keep your distance.” he sighed. “not just from Hyunjin but the rest of us.” Felix added. Your end of the phone went silent for a long time. “uh-sure.” you choked back your tears. “we love you y/n but-” Felix looked back at Hyunjin’s door. “but it’s Hyunjin.” you chuckled through the tears dropping down your face. “I understand” you bit your lower lip.  

“thanks for understanding” Felix smiled weakly on his end. “uhm-Felix wait.” you wiped the tear from your eyes. “I uhm-can you tell him something for me?” you huffed. “or-nevermind.” you forced your smile. “i guess until-next time.” you sighed and hung up your end of the phoneline.  

You pressed your forehead against the steering wheel and let yourself sob in the Burger King parking lot.

#hwang hyunjin imagines #hyunjin imagines #hyunjin angst #hyunjin fanfic #hyunjin fanfiction #hyunjin fanfics #hwang hyunjin fanfiction #hwan hyunjin x reader #hyunjin x reader #stray kids angst #stray kids imagines #stray kids imagine #stray kids fanfiction #queue are the cause of my euphoria

[zauncomeon]

Let’s get one thing very straight. Genocide will always be horrible, impactful, and damaging. To minimize it or act like it has no effect would be obtuse, and I’m not here to debate on whether colonization or genocide is worse than the other, especially since often those things intertwine, but even alone, they are evil.

All that being said, the Water Tribes were never colonized. Genocide was definitely enacted by the fire nation onto them, but colonization never happened. Genocide alone still impacted the water tribes heavily, and you can see for yourself when you look at how the Southern Water Tribe looked before the genocides have taken place. Not only that, genocide leaves damaging effects psychologically, as evidenced by how the people at the SWT seem so visibly emotionally exhausted, and a bit hopeless. But of course losing family members due to it only makes it more difficult and heartbreaking

I’m going to say now, even if the fire nation colonized the water tribes, I’d still ship zutara. So this isn’t a defense of any kind, but this is only an answer to seeing fellow zutarians misuse the word, and I think it’s important to know the difference so we can talk about it properly

#had to delete the other post because I don’t think it expressed how genocide was still bad #and also I don’t care about these ship wars in regards to this topic #I’m not bothered by people who claim zutara is colonizer/colonized #zutara #zutara discourse #atla critical #atla criticism #anti atla #atla zuko #atla katara #zuko #katara #atla zutara #anti kataang #anti maiko

[mazeinthemiroh]

seo changbin sfw alphabet

genre: fluff

word count: 2k

warnings: none

song rec: bad boy by red velvet

pls like and reblog if you enjoy! feel free to request anything <3

a - affection (how affectionate are they? how do they show affection)

one of his main loves languages is physical affection

expect a lot of hugs, cuddling, smooches on the cheek, big sloppy kisses to annoy you, etc...

he's so cute fr

idk he just loves being around you and assuring you through physical touch that he's there if you need him for anything

he's quite protective and tends to look out for you without even realising it himself

b - best friend (what would they be like as a best friend?)

he's so chill

up for anything

willing to go anywhere or do nothing, he doesn't care

he knows a lot of gossip because people tend to trust him with information, but he would totally spill the tea with his bestie just because-

c - cuddles (would they like to cuddle? how do they cuddle?)

he's big on cuddling

he doesn't even care if the other members are around, as soon as he lays eyes on you he's already got his arms wrapped around you, pulling you in for a big ol' cuddle

it's just a habit for him. it feels uncomfortable without you :(

he pouts a lot when he hasn't seen you in a while because your cuddles are the best :((((

d = domestic (do they want to settle down? how are they at cooking and cleaning?)

in the future, he would want to settle down with someone. at present, though, he wants to put more of his time and energy into his career, especially since he has been seeing great results and massive amounts of progress

he's literally so good around the house. probably better at cooking because he has such a passion for food and will like working on his cooking skills by making you different meals

he's good at cleaning up after himself most of the time but i wouldn't call him squeaky clean. things will be left around the house here and there, but nothing outrageous

e = ending (if they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

he is sooo uncomfortable when doing this

of course, like anyone, he wants to avoid breaking up at all costs

but when it came down to it, he will do it face-to-face, not really beating around the bush but at the same time trying to soften the delivery of his words if needed

f = fiance(e) (how do they feel about commitment? how quickly would they want to get married?)

at the moment he doesn't feel anything towards commitment. he's quite a casual person but if the right person comes along the way, he knows he will be able to commit to them

but for changbin, general commitment and marriage is definitely a goal for the future. he can be quite traditional so he thinks that being a bit older and perhaps more wiser will give him a steady head to settle down with someone

but marriage just isn't on his mind at the moment

g = gentle (how gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

he's super duper gentle

changbin wouldn't hurt a fly tbh

despite being strong as hell and a fitness buff in general, he never misuses that power on anyone

similarly, he is quite an emotional person when he needs to be, and has proven to be very empathetic and in touch with other people's emotions

h = hugs (do they like hugs? how often do they do it? what are their hugs like?)

bro loves hugs so much. if it was up to him, he would be hugging you all the time

just having you in his arms makes sense to him? like he feels so comfortable when you are with him like that

give him a back hug and he will melt forever, no joke

i = i love you (how fast do they say the L-word?)

i don't think he would say it too fast, just because he doesn't feel there's any rush to say it

also, it's hard for him to discern whether he likes you or loves you; he's not used to having such deep, intricate feelings and therefore it's hard for him to unravel and figure out for himself

j = jealousy (how jealous do they get? what do they do when they're jealous?)

he can get jealous tbh, but always when it is justified

it's not too obvious but you can definitely tell

he loses his typical happy spark and outgoing personality, and his jaw clenches when he's proper mad jealous

k = kisses (what are their kisses like? where do they like to kiss you? where do they like to be kissed?)

oh he loves kisses please kiss him all day every day PLEASE i beg you that's all he wants that's all he needs

he will literally be so made and give you the silent treatment if you forget to kiss him goodbye or goodnight like he gets so pouty about it

his kisses are soft but firm

any kisses are good kisses for him. he doesn't mind where you kiss him; the fact that you're kissing him is all that matters

he just sort of melts into you like

l = little ones (how are they around children?)

he loves children tbh

he does a cute little high-pitched baby voice with babies because he's a cutie-pie like that

i feel like he would be better with actual babies compared to children

because children are just... unpredictable. he'd be on edge most of the time without even realising it

m = morning (how are mornings spent with them?)

gets up early for a morning workout

you saw this coming, let's be real

so he wakes up bright and early, much earlier than you. but he takes a lot of care to make sure he doesn't disturb you in your sleep

that means he takes the opportunity to make you breakfast because he's a sweetheart like that <3

so he's literally the best person to be with because he's always thinking of you, yk??

n = night (how are nights spent with them?)

night time is his chance to rewind

he likes to relax, maybe watch something or just talk into the night

but it's also very likely that he will stay up to do his work and produce something

o = open (when would they start revealing things about themselves? do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

changbin is an open book

so in quite early parts of your relationship, if he gets a good vibe from you, there's not a lot stopping him from telling you about his life story

or about his opinions on certain people

revealing things aren't really a problem with him

p = patience (how easily angered are they?)

he has a lot of patience

he's had to deal with many different personality types before, some easy and some hard to deal with

he's also a people person, so he tries to give people the benefit of the doubt and tends not to assume the worst in people straight away

he only really gets angry when he witnesses an injustice or realises that someone has been taken advantage of and manipulated in some way

people misusing their power or blatantly lying to someone's face? nope, he's not about that

so in these cases, he does get very angry indeed

q = quizzes (how much would they remember about you? do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

he knows more than he lets on

even if you don't expect him to know things, he does

because he's very observant

there's not a lot you can keep from him to be honest, so it's better to let your secrets out now, otherwise he'll be onto you anyway

r = remember (what is their favourite moment in your relationship?)

going on a spontaneous trip with you

changbin love spontaneity in a relationship, so when you decide to hop on a plane and go wherever, he's so down for that

just being with you and experiencing a different environment, getting to share something new and exciting with you made him realise that he wouldn't want to be with anyone else

s = security (how protective are they? how would they protect you? how would they like to be protected?)

i'd say he's very protective

he is definitely a caring type and feels the need to protect and shield his loved ones from harm. it's how he's been brought up, however he has an innate need to defend and look out for people who are close to him

he doesn't feel that he needs to be protected at all really

he works out for a reason you know 💪 gotta fight off them haters!!

t = try (how much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

oh he's going all out and you know it

he loves spoiling you like i can't stress that point enough

he's getting you luxury items and expensive clothes as gifts. or he's treating you to a fancy restaurant and other different experiences.

what's best though is that he doesn't make a big deal about it. he doesn't flaunt around how much money he's spent on you and he will shrug it off if you ask him

u = ugly (what would be some bad habits of theirs?)

does changbin have any bad habits? ummmmmm...

well this was a tough one

but maybe one of his bad habits might be that he can be quite stubborn. once he has his mind set on something, there's no changing it

which is good sometimes; he's a man of principle and sticks to his own morals

however, it can be bad if you're in an argument and he doesn't try to see your point of view on things because he automatically believes he's right

v = vanity (how concerned are they with their looks?)

changbin has been made to feel quite conscious about how he looks, just because of the industry he's in

to be honest he's quite confident in his style and the way he holds himself, so he doesn't feel the need to be too concerned about his looks because it's all in the personality and his confidence

but he does like being called handsome >.< so call him it often!

w = whole (would they feel incomplete without you?)

without you, he does miss you. he doesn't necessarily feel incomplete because he's his own individual, quite secure with himself and doesn't tend to rely on others

but when he has reunited with you again, he does feel a lot happier. you're his favourite person after all, how could he not be!

x = xtra (a random headcanon for them)

he likes it when you join in teasing the other members

especially the youngest members. he can't help it, he just finds it hilarious because they try so hard to be respectful towards you and are always on their best behaviour when you're around which means you're able to tease them and pull pranks and get away with it

so changbin loves being involved in that as well as seeing their reactions because they literally have no idea what's going on

y = yuck (what are some things they wouldn't like, either in general or in a partner?)

people who judge others quickly

there's an art in getting to know someone and not judging them by their appearance or clothes or anything else

being a people person himself, he likes talking to different people and learning about them. he doesn't see any point in judging people with just one look because that could be a missed opportunity

so he finds those types of people harsh

z = zzz (what is a sleep habit of theirs?)

his snoring is atrocious LMAO but it's cute at the same time so it's hard to get mad at him

also has the tendency to cling onto you. not necessarily full-on cuddling but he definitely has an arm around you or a hand on your side

#changbin #seo changbin #stray kids #skz #skz fluff #skz scenarios #skz imagines #stray kids fluff #stray kids scenarios #stray kids imagines #stray kids reactions #kpop #kpop fluff #kpop scenarios #kpop imagines #sfw #sfw headcanons #sfw alphabet #stray kids x reader #skz x reader #kpop x reader

[aedesluminis]

Marat's critique on scientific academies

"Even though the following letter does not come from the same quill, I felt obliged to include it here anyway, because it reveals some piquant facts that are perfect to show the uselessness of scientific societies and to reveal the shameless charlatanism of their members."

Letter XII "It is not true, Monsieur, that the academies have never made some discoveries, although their members have often stolen those of others. On the subject, I could mention one hundred traits of infidelity of Messrs. the academicians of Paris; one hundred cases of misuse of funds; one hundred inventions publicly claimed by their authors, and what is even stranger, one hundred mémoirs that have been made to disappear and then carelessly published again under the names of these shameful plagiarists, but I do not want to demoralise you. Thus, I will limit myself to clear your doubts with two anecdotes that you will find amusing and of which you can find proof easily, since they happened before our very eyes.

You remember the enthusiasm about the rise of the first aerostatic globe and the craze of the public for this kind of exhibition. You remember the wonderful discoveries, of which this new experience was the source; you also remember the multiple as well as vain attempts done to steer the balloons. Well? Some fools, who believe that genius resides in the Academy of Science, gave it twelve thousand livres to figure out a way to control [the balloons]. What happened to that money? Do you think it reached its destination? Do not fool yourself. Do you think it was used for some useful research? How naive you are. Just know that our savants shared it among themselves and that it was all squandered at the Rapée, at the Opera and with women. You blush for them, but this is just a small thing, listen to this other bolder courtesy of theirs. Some months ago, a deputy, prompted by the work of an author, proposed in the National Assembly to proclaim the equality of weights and measures through all the reign. The proposal was well received and sent to the Academy of Science in order to decide how to proceed. It only took them the time to puff themselves up, to put their scribes to work and to rush to the senate that Messrs. the scientists were ready to announce that the Academy had found the best method to fulfil the expectations of the Assembly. It was to derive all the measures from the one of the circumference of the terrestrial globe; a method that some venal quills have immediately presented as a superb discovery by our doctors. But where do you think that this sublime method comes from? From the Egyptians. It was to pass it on to future centuries that the famous pyramids were built, which many clueless travellers took for eternal monuments of the greatness of these people. Eh! And where do you think that our academicians took this magnificent system from? They took it word for word from the treatise on weights and measures of the Ancients, published by Romé de l’Îsle, a distinguished savant, whose name they have taken care to overshadow since his death, in order to steal from him, after having persecuted him his whole life. But the best is yet to come. Under the pretext to measure a degree of the meridian arc - already well determined by the ancients and of which it would be impossible today to alter the measure without overthrowing this admirable system - they have been granted by the minister one hundred thousand écus for the expenses of the operation; a gâteau that they will share among their associates.

Judge for yourself the usefulness of the academies and the virtue of their members. The academies of the capital, which have never done anything for the progress of human knowledge other than persecute true men of genius; those will be preserved by conscript fathers, for the fact that the nation is in charge of [the academies] and that they consist of vile supporters of the despot, pavid advocates of despotism." —from Jean-Paul Marat's "Les charlatans modernes ou lettres sur le charlatanisme académique", letter n° 12, p. 40

Highlights in italics are mine. I thank @pleasecallmealsip for helping me with a couple of words I didn't know how to translate.

#spoiler: the “prompting” plagiarist author is Talleyrand #marat #jean paul marat #frev #french revolution #metric system #history of science #rome de l'isle #my translations

[kemetic-dreams]

Traditionally, the people now known as Cherokee refer to themselves as Aniyunwiya (ah nee yun wee yah), a name usually translated as "the Real People," sometimes "the Original People."

▪The Cherokee never had princesses. This is a concept based on European folktales and has no reality in Cherokee history and culture. In fact, Cherokee women were very powerful. They owned all the houses and fields, and they could marry and divorce as they pleased. Kinship was determined through the mother's line.

Clan mothers administered justice in many matters. Beloved women were very special women chosen for their outstanding qualities. As in other aspects of Cherokee culture, there was a balance of power between men and women. Although they had different roles, they both were valued.

▪The Cherokee never lived in tipis. Only the nomadic Plains tribes did. The Cherokee were southeastern woodland natives, and in the winter they lived in houses made of woven saplings, plastered with mud and roofed with poplar bark. In the summer they lived in open-air dwellings roofed with bark.

▪The Cherokee have never worn feathered headdresses except to please tourists. These long headdresses were worn by Plains Natives and were made popular through Wild West shows and Hollywood movies. Cherokee men traditionally wore a feather or two tied at the crown of the head. In the early 18th century, Cherokee men wore cotton trade shirts, loincloths, leggings, front-seam moccasins, finger-woven or beaded belts, multiple pierced earrings around the rim of the ear, and a blanket over one shoulder. At that time, Cherokee women wore mantles of leather or feathers, skirts of leather or woven mulberry bark, front-seam moccasins, and earrings pierced through the earlobe only. By the end of the 18th century, Cherokee men were dressing much like their white neighbors. Men were wearing shirts, pants, and trade coats, with a distinctly Cherokee turban. Women were wearing calico skirts, blouses, and shawls. Today Cherokee people dress like other Americans, except for special occasions, when the men wear ribbon shirts with jeans and moccasins, and the women wear tear dresses with corn beads, woven belts, and moccasins.

▪The Eastern Band of Cherokee Indians (EBCI) are descended from Cherokee people who had taken land under the Treaty of 1819 and were allowed to remain in North Carolina; from those who hid in the woods and mountains until the U.S. Army left; and from those who turned around and walked back from Oklahoma. By 1850 they numbered almost a thousand. Today the Eastern Band includes about 11,000 members, while the Cherokee Nation in Oklahoma claims more than 100,000 members, making the Cherokee the largest tribe in the United States.

▪Cherokee arts and crafts are still practiced: basket-weaving, pottery, carving, finger-weaving, and beadwork.

▪The Cherokee language is spoken as a first language by fewer than a thousand people and has declined rapidly because of the policies of federally operated schools. However, since the tribe has begun operation of their own schools, Cherokee language is being systematically taught in the schools.

▪Traditional Cherokee medicine, religion, and dance are practiced privately.

▪There have never been Cherokee shamans. Shamanism is a foreign concept to North America. The Cherokee have medicine men and women.

▪"aho" is not a Cherokee word and Cherokee speakers never use it. Most are actually offended by the misuse of this word. It's not some kind of universal Native word used by all tribes, as many believe. Each individual tribe have their own languages. We can respect these languages by using them correctly or not at all.

▪In order to belong to one of the seven Cherokee clans, your mother had to have been/be Cherokee and her clan is passed on to you. If the maternal line has been broken by a non Cherokee or someone had all sons, you have no clan, which is the case with many today.

▪There is only one Cherokee tribe that consist of three bands. The Cherokee Nation of Oklahoma, United Keetoowah Band of Oklahoma and the Eastern Band of Cherokee Indians of North Carolina. All others who claim a different band than one of the three above are not considered Cherokee and are a direct threat to Cherokee tribal sovereignty. In fact, to be Cherokee, one must be registered with the tribe, as Cherokee is a citizenship granted through documentation. One can have Native DNA but is not considered Cherokee until they are a registered tribal citizen.

Via N. Bear

Cherokee man

North Carolina

#aniyunwiya #asian #asian american #native american #first nation peoples #kemetic dreams #tsalagi

[itsclydebitches]

Haha, I explicitly don't tag my rwby critique posts as RWDE because I know people will just block or insult me without even reading what I wrote

Honestly? Valid choice. I've gone on record about my own choice to tag for both "RWBY" and "RWDE," but to be frank I think "RWDE" is a borderline useless tag. RWDE folks have never agreed on what should go in there. Non-RWDE folks have definitely never agreed on what should go in there. It was created as an absurd way to divide the fandom between (incredibly subjective) Good Content and Bad Content, with the result that this actively undermines the purpose of posting on tumblr: for new people to see your stuff. Most of us recently saw that post with someone understandably asking what in the world RWDE was... as well as some of the top answers that provided an incredibly biased, borderline lying definition. Unlike something like "RWBY Critical" that both tells newcomers what it is and does so in a neutral way (these are posts that are critical of RWBY and the tag itself gives no indication as to whether that's a good or bad thing), "RWDE" is nonsensical to anyone not already in the know and is a RWBY-fied version of a very negative word: "rude." Despite most of us embracing that, it's still a tag designed to turn newcomers off.

So how is anyone supposed to find like-minded community members when our main tag doesn't follow any other tagging conventions, is framed as a negative from the get-go, and polite questions are immediately met with the more intense fans painting the worst picture possible? That was always the point. RWDE isn't "We just want you to have your own space where we don't have to engage" it's "We want to make this as difficult as possible so eventually you'll just leave." So... yeah. I use it because I know it will hit an already established core group actively looking for the kind of content I write, but I 100% understand you and others going, "Why would I use that? The fandom has been trained to block on sight. That's not going to help other people see my work on the Let Other People See My Work site."

I think I've said this before, but I want to do a version of those wine social experiments. You know the ones where they take super duper cheap wine, stick a fancy label on it, tell people it's the Most Expensive Vintage Ever, and watch them wax poetic on how absolutely stunning the taste is? Give RWBY fans a post without tags/blog name (or, to follow the pattern, with misleading tags/blog names), watch as many people agree with the points made -- or at least consider them seriously -- and then go, "Aha! This was a RWDE post all along!" Like any fandom under the sun you'll never have people agreeing on criticism and there will always be individuals who can't stand a word said against the show... but I guarantee if you removed the bias associated with RWDE you'd get a lot more fans who are RWDE.

Also, side-note, gotta love that I make a post talking about how fans are too inclined to attack critics than engage with what they're saying or simply ignore their stuff... and what's at the top of my inbox but someone calling me a piece of shit and accusing me of stuff I've never ever done (harassing the creators, misusing Monty's name -- the usual accusations that, as I said, fans pick up and repeat ad nauseam without thinking through whether they're accurate).

Me: Hey, don't send people insults, baseless accusations, and death threats because you disagree over the quality of a show

Anons: [Immediately send insults, baseless accusations, and death threats for the sin of telling them not to do that]

#rwde #rwby #mymetas

[wardenparker]

You’re So Vain - Chapter 12

Dieter Bravo x female reader Co-written with @absurdthirst

Oscar winning star Dieter Bravo’s reputation is suffering after the debacle of “Cliff Beasts 6″ and “Beasts of the Bubble”, so his management team has signed him on to a publicity stunt to find his soulmate and show the world a softer side of the erratic and unpredictable star. The plan quickly go awry, though, when Dieter’s soulmate wants nothing to do with him.  

Rating: Explicit for drug use Word Count: 12.6k Warnings: *Blanket warning for chronic illness, cursing, and deceased family members. This is a Dieter fic, folks, so there absolutely will be discussions of drugs, drug use, and addiction.* Enemies to lovers, food/alcohol consumption, discussion of deceased spouse, accidental drug use, misuse of prescription drugs, PTSD, pregnancy scare,  I have a lot of feelings about this chapter okay? Summary: The day Steph and Nora go back to the States, you have a gigantic migraine. But the fallout from trying to take care of it is worse than you could have ever expected. Notes: ✨ NOTES CONTAIN SPOILERS. CONSIDER YOURSELF WARNED.  ✨ This chapter contains accidental drug use in the form of mistaking pills for something else (mislabeled bottle). The drug in question is ketamine, and reader’s reaction to it is based solely on my own personal knowledge of the drug as well as some basic research. Not everyone is affected the same way by taking this or any other drug, so this portrayal may not be exactly on the nose for what some others have experienced. 

Ch 1 ~ Ch 2 ~ Ch 3 ~ Ch 4 ~ Ch 5 ~ Ch 6 ~ Ch 7 ~ Ch 8 ~ Ch 9 ~ Ch 10

It takes a little while to pump Steph full of enough caffeine to combat jet lag the next morning, but the four of you arrive at the studio right on time. Dieter hustles off to his dressing room after a round of hugs from everyone and a quick kiss from you, and you pop your head into the director’s office to make sure that the portraits you’ve done for the movie are exactly what they need. After that it’s a guided studio tour and you’re settling down in the cafe with lunch before you know it. Having Steph and Nora here is even more magical and surreal than when you first got here yourself, and you want to make sure they enjoy every second.

“Honestly? I’ve never seen you this happy.” Steph leans back in her seat and looks over at where Nora is coloring in the book that her Uncle DeeDee had managed to get from someone on set. “So things are going a lot better than you texted, huh?”

“Things are…they’re kind of amazing, honestly. And I’m so afraid of jinxing it by saying that out loud.” The abundant charcuterie platter that you and Steph chose to share for lunch sits between you as you both pick at it eagerly. “I mean, I hope it’s not just a vacation fluke and things are still this good when we’re both busy and not sharing a room.” You can’t be more graphic than that with Nora two feet away, but Steph knows what you mean.

Smirking, Steph flutters her lashes at you playfully, making you giggle. “Oh honey, you’ve been getting it good, haven’t you?” She asks, wanting details. “Everyday?”

“Um…usually more than once…” You admit quietly, feeling your whole face set on fire. “It’s the honeymoon phase, ya know?”

“Interesting words.” Steph hums, picking up her wine glass. “Especially when you’re describing the relationship that you have with your soulmate. He’s – you two have really gotten in sync, haven’t you?”

“I didn’t mean literal honeymoon.” No, the implications of that are just a little too much for you to take right now. But you do sigh s little and shrug your sore shoulder. “I…I don’t know if he’s feeling what I’m feeling. But I know that we’re talking and we’re doing our best to be honest with each other, and it’s helped a lot.”

“That’s great.” Steph sets her glass down after a sip and leans in, touching your hand. “I’m really happy that the two of you are getting to know each other. And that it seems like – well, it seems like it’s going better than anyone could have expected.” You had even stayed with Dieter last night, instead of escaping to their room like you would have done if you had been miserable.

“I think it’s safe to say that I feel completely the opposite of how I did when we met.” That is the understatement of the century as far as you’re concerned, but here you are.

Steph’s brow furrows for a moment until a look of understanding crosses her face. “Have you talked about it?” She asks, knowing that it’s a very big deal for you.

“No.” You shake your head, building yourself another bite of food and grateful that Nora is happily distracted with her coloring. “I was actually hoping to talk to you about it first…you know me better than anyone.”

“When did you realize you love him?” She shoots Nora a glance and then looks back at you.

Love. For such a little word, it has such a huge impact - making your pulse jump and your throat run dry and your stomach flip with excitement and nerves. “Yesterday for certain.”

“You are sure it’s not just a reaction to him being so sweet on your birthday?” As much as she had pushed you to get to know Dieter, she doesn’t want you hurt. Talking about this will help you work through the jumble of emotions she knows is mixed up inside you.

“I think it just…solidified it? But this is why I need to talk to you.” Reaching over, you grasp her hands tightly for just a second and blow out a sigh. “He’s been…kind of incredible. The whole time, I mean.”

“Yeah?” She bites her lip to keep from grinning, instead she squeezes your hand and encourages you to talk. “Tell me.”

“The physical part is ridiculous.” You’re not really going to elaborate on that with Nora nearby – or anyone for that matter. Anyone who knows you would know you’re talking about Dieter and that could end up on gossip sites. If Steph wants the dirty details, you’ll tell her later, in private. “But it’s like…when we actually shut off the snark around each other? He’s so sweet and surprisingly attentive. I mean, I know I probably sound like I did when I was sixteen, but the man literally offered to bankroll the start of my own business so I can teach art privately and get away from all the insane bureaucracy of school curriculums, then turned around and got his director to agree to let me paint the incredibly plot important portraits for the movie he’s filming.”

“Wow.” Steph hadn’t realized that all of this was going on. You had been texting, but it had been surface level things. “How’s his – you know, the addiction issue?” You had been terrified about that. It had been one of your biggest fears.

“He takes daily tests as part of his contract.” You take a sip of your tea and shift in your seat so you can be closer to her and therefore talk a little more quietly. “We do drink, but he’s been clean of everything else since we met.” A fact which you know agitates him at times, but he hasn’t fought against it. As much as he might struggle at times, Dieter has actually told you that he wants to stay clean. “He’s never snuck anything or faked a test or anything like that. I think…I think maybe the endorphin rush from… intimacy,” you mumble the word under your breath, “might be kind of a substitute sometimes? But shoot, that’s physical exercise. It’s about the healthiest way to get endorphins ever.”

“That’s a good thing.” She gives a small giggle and waggles her eyebrows at you. “Exercise is a great thing.”

Chewing on your lip for a second, you still end up smiling despite the nervous knot in your stomach. “I’m gonna take him to San Fran. To meet my parents. Once he’s done filming here.”

“Babe…” Steph nearly gasps, knowing that is a big deal. “That’s – wow.”

“When they called yesterday, they asked when they were going to get to meet him and invited us to come stay for a weekend. And he just…” It’s still kind of unbelievable to you that he said yes, if you’re honest. “He asked if I wanted him to meet them. I was honest and said yes, but I told him we could put it off for a while, thinking we might get roped into Thanksgiving or something, ya know? But he just agreed right away and said we could do it when he gets back.”

“Do you think that he’s falling for you?” Her question is gentle, but she wants to know where you think this is going. “I mean, the tattoo, meeting your parents, the business offer…” She trails off, but she gives a small shrug. “I don’t think he would do that for just anyone.”

“I don’t know.” You shake your head, letting it drop into one upturned palm as you rest your elbow on the table. “It feels like I’ve known him forever sometimes, but then I’m the same breath I realize we’ve only really known each other for what…a little more than two weeks?” The Disney trip is when you started working at getting along, and that has become your benchmark for the positive direction of your relationship with Dieter, even if there was a hiccup along the way. “I mean obviously I hope he’s not doing all of this out of some kind of obligation because we’re soulmates, but I just can’t say for sure. I—I’ve made too many assumptions about him over the years. I can’t let this be another one.”

She can’t help but give a little groan and slightly amused chuckle. “Of course now we aren’t assuming.” She teases you as only your best friend can, and she knows it. “Are you planning on telling him?”

“I’m actively trying to be better,” you remind her, cheeks on fire at the reminder of just how much assuming you had done not that long ago. “But I am genuinely afraid that saying something could upset the delicate balance that we have going. It might be pushing way too hard and I don’t want to do that to him.”

Nodding in understanding, Steph vows that she’s going to keep her opinions to herself. Or at least not try to push you into anything. This needs to be on your own time. “Taking it slow is never a bad thing.” She offers. “If he does feel the same way…” she grins at you playfully, “I get to tell you I told you so.”

“I would never take that from you.” After all, she would be right, if Dieter ever did return your feelings. “But I can’t see getting my hopes up.”

She snickers and looks around the café. “Because people who aren’t in love don’t fly out their soulmate’s best friend and niece to make sure she has the best day ever on her birthday.” She reminds you. “You didn’t cry once yesterday, did you?”

“I cried at the museum.” Which was a very different type of tears from the way you had spent the last several birthdays, you’ll admit.

“In rare fashion, I’m not going to push.” Steph declares with a laugh. “But I’m happy that you’re happy.” She bites her lip. “I haven’t seen you this happy since before college.”

“I—I don’t think…” you sigh, knowing how fucking sappy and ridiculous you sound. “I don’t think I’ve ever been this happy, Stephy. Like I hate that I have to leave a week before he does to get back to work. It’s ridiculous.”

“That business offer he made you?” Curiosity is getting the best of her, and she has to know. “What was that?”

“He thinks I could be a traveling art teacher.” The idea has burrowed into you since it was proposed at that first dinner at the museum, but it’s a scary thing to strike out on your own. “Give private lessons or make relationships with cafes while I travel and teach classes for the public. Or…or even for studio employees. Like traveling with him to set and giving art lessons to whoever wants them and contributing to set painting and stuff. Be my own boss and make it whatever I want. Teach whatever my students want instead of what the state of California has decided is easiest to grade.”

The phrases ‘traveling with him’ and ‘set painting’ don’t go unnoticed and it’s all Steph can do to keep from squealing. Or knocking some sense into you. “So, he wants you to develop a business where you can travel with him, spending even more time together. Plus give you autonomy and build your own brand while indulging in traveling – which you’ve always wanted to do more of?”

“He said…that even if I didn’t want to be with him, he still wanted me to be happy.” That conversation will be burned into your mind for a long time, partially because it was how you had decided to try dating for real – but also because of how generous he had been. It had taken you entirely by surprise. “This was before we had decided to try actual dating. It was—it was actually what got us talking about it.”

“Wow.” She had seen Dieter’s generosity, but it’s amazing to see it directed towards you.

“Yeah.” There isn’t really much else to say about it - the surprise you share pretty well sums it up. “Two days later he was convincing his director to let me paint the props that his character will be using in the movie.”

“That’s huge.” Steph sighs almost dreamily. “It’s going to be a big feather in your cap.”

“Or everyone at school is going to give me shit about being too big for my britches now.” It had cropped up in your mind as a very possible fear, knowing that as the younger of the two art teachers at your school and a newer teacher in general, you were looked down upon quite a lot. As though art education wasn’t as essential for a healthy mind as any language or history class.

“Anyone that has anything negative to say can fight me.” Steph promises, nearly growling and shaking her head. “Maybe you should work up a business plan. See how feasible it would be.”

“I honestly have no idea what kind of licensing, if any, it would take to give private or public art classes in other countries and it seems like it would cost a fortune to get started.” A slight – alright, more than slight – fear of the unknown has tinged the idea, and you hadn’t started any research for fear of finding out that the incredibly appealing idea would be too complicated to be realistic. “You know I love my students, but I swear sometimes I still feel like that sixteen-year-old who was going to be a professional painter come hell or high water.” The biggest problem with that plan always being that you needed to be rich first in order to pull it off. Becoming wealthy from painting takes years if it ever even happens. Which it usually doesn’t.

“Maybe you should start looking into it. Can you imagine traveling around and still getting to paint?” Steph muses. She wants nothing more for you than to travel the world with Dieter if it will make you happy. She loves, loves having you live with her – honestly doesn’t know if she would have survived without you after Shawn – but you deserve happiness.

“I’d miss you.” You squeeze her shoulder gently, not minding that the thought of being away from your best friend for too long makes you a little melancholy. You’re family, after all, and you got each other through one of the hardest loses of both of your lives. “Like I’ve been missing the heck out of you for the last week.” And there it is - that little smile that curls the corner of your lips now every time you think of him. It’s because of Dieter that she and Nora are here. He did that out of the goodness of his heart. A much bigger heart than you ever knew he could have. “I love the idea of painting for a living. I do. It would just be a huge change. And change is…it can be scary. That’s all.”

“I completely understand.” That’s very true. Reaching over, she squeezes your arm. “Although we will always be there when you come home. And be so fudging proud of you.”

“You always have been, and I love you for it.” Covering her hand with your own, you offer her a wider smile and shrug. “Who knows. Maybe they’ll like what I did for this movie and I’ll become a set decorator. That would be on par with how weird things have gotten lately.”

“God you would be good at it.” Steph gushes. “And when you make the big bucks, you can help me launch the exclusive food brand.” Dreaming about things helped the two of you get through the lows and it’s still fun to think about now.

“It should have a flagship restaurant.” You recall having a conversation with Dieter to the same affect, and the idea had stuck with you ever since. “Imagine being able to take this one out to eat and not having to worry about hidden ingredients?” If Nora is aware that you’re talking about her, she doesn’t show it, and you waggle your eyebrows at Steph slightly when your niece doesn’t react to the discussion. “Maybe Rico could help. His family had a restaurant, ya know.”

The way her face changes is instantaneous, biting her lip and looking away, suddenly flustered. “He— he’s good about her diet.” She manages, slightly winded even talking about the guard who had been helping her with her daughter while you have been here.

“Oh yeah?” Leaning in with a grin, You rest your chin on your hand and raise an eyebrow. “Is that all he’s good at?”

“Stop. He’s just being nice.” She hisses, although the way the grin nearly splits her face in half tells you otherwise.

“Oh bullshirt.” You lower your voice despite not actually cursing, loving to see such unbridled happiness on her face. “Did something happen?”

“No.” She insists, looking over at Nora. “Yes, or maybe it’s that something almost happened.” She clarifies. “There was a moment.”

“Wait, seriously?” Your eyes widen almost comically. “I was totally just being nosy, but tell me everything!”

“There’s not a lot to tell.” Still, the other woman leans forward. “I gave Rico a key, to make it easier to help with Nora so he’s not waiting on me or stuck at the house.” She explains. “I came downstairs two days ago and he’s already in the kitchen, coffee ready and making breakfast. I just – when he handed me the coffee cup, wearing an apron with a spatula in his hand – I almost kissed him.” She confesses breathlessly.

The “awwe!” You let out is muffled, but it’s just so very on point for Steph. Domestic and sweet and innocent. “Have you thought about asking him out?” To a certain degree, the fact that you’re enthusiastic about her finding someone again really is important, and you know it. You’re her soulmate’s sister. If you even breathed a single word of dissent against it, she wouldn’t say another word to you about men ever again. And that just wouldn’t be right or fair. Steph deserves all the happiness in the world and Shawn would hate to see her waste her loving heart by staying alone.

“No.” Her shoulders slump and she blows out an exasperated breath. “He’s just being nice. Doing what his boss asked or Libby asked him too.” She reasons. “I can’t push myself on him.”

“Libby only asked him to look after Nora while you were at work,” you remind her, smiling softly when her protest comes with a pout. “If he’s doing more than that it’s because he wants to. And Dee knows him better than either of us, and he agreed with me that Rico is into you.” The subject of them had come up a few days ago when Steph had texted you a selfie from family dinner – with Rico right there at the table beside Nora.

“You think so?” The naked hope is probably a little desperate, or maybe sad, but Stephanie wants to be wanted again. She loves Shawn, never will stop, but she also needs to feel like she matters to someone besides her daughter or you, There are just some needs neither one of you can fill. “I just— he’s different from Shawn but he’s also so like him.” She chokes out a small laugh. “Shawn would have loved hanging around him, ironically.”

“He’s a good guy.” And hopefully hasn’t said a goddamn word about the night of the party when he drove you back to Dieter’s house, because that would be mortifying. “He’s caring and kind and funny. And honey…Shawn didn’t want you to stay alone forever. You know that.”

“I know.” She knows that. They had that conversation when it was clear he wasn’t getting better. “I just never expected to actually be attracted to someone.”

“Sometimes the best things happen by accident.” After all, hadn’t that essentially been what happened with you and Dieter? It certainly hadn’t worked out the way anyone had planned - just an accidental night at the hospital with him accidentally overhearing what happened to you as a teen and everything had begun to change. “I’m not saying you should go back home and throw yourself at him. But I do think that it’s okay to be happy or even excited about a crush. You deserve happiness, honey.”

Steph blows out a breath and can’t help but giggle. “It doesn’t hurt that he’s hot either.” She admits with a roll of her eyes.

“Super hot.” Sculpted would be the word you would choose for him – much like your brother had been. “Very much your type.”

“Are you sure you are okay with this?” She asks once again, just needing to reassure herself.

“Yes.” You can’t blame her for asking. If your places were switched you would be terrified of her feeling as though you were betraying her. But the fact is, the only thing that would betray Shawn’s loving spirit more would be if Steph locked herself away for the rest of her life. “I am absolutely okay with this as long as it makes you happy. If it doesn’t make you happy, then forget I even said anything.”

“God.” She can’t help but giggle again, glancing over at Nora. “It’s a good darn thing that someone loves uncle DeeDee and Rocko.” She sticks her tongue in her cheek. “I think she’s saying that one on purpose.”

“I’m gonna end up singing the Rocko’s Modern Life theme in my head all the time.” The old cartoon was a favourite of yours, after all. “So he got a nickname, you think?”

“She giggles every time she says it and demands that he hold her a lot. Or throw her in the pool.” The first time she had seen it, her heart had nearly stopped, but her daughter’s shrieks of laughter had kept her from putting a stop to it.

“You guys are spending a lot of time at Dee’s?” Nora must be loving that. The pool is such a luxury for her, and for Steph too.

“That’s okay, right?” Steph asks, chewing on her lip. “Rico says that the kitchen in Dieter’s house is set up to his preferences so, he enjoys cooking there.” She gives a small shrug. “Plus, Nora is living in the pool.” Her disease meant that often public pools were out of the question and Rico and Dee had assured her that the pool filters would be fine if there was an accident. Even if she did still put her daughter in the swim diapers.

“Honey, of course.” The two of you have returned to eating and are near to demolishing the end of your lunch. “You guys do your thing. And plus, I mean…if things are still good between Dee and me when we get back, I’m sure we’ll still go over there plenty often.” You’ve already admitted to yourself that you’re going to hate not being able to fall asleep next to him every night when you get back to the States. You’ll want to be over there fairly often and you know it.

"I noticed that you didn't jump at the idea of staying with us last night when Nora asked." Steph smirks, eyes filled with mischief. "So I take it your birthday celebration ended with another bang?"

“Well…” You clear your throat, looking a little guilty about having turned down the offer from your niece, but not really regretting it. “I had to thank him properly for bringing my two favourite girls all the way across the ocean to me.”

That smirk ends up being a complete shit-eating grin. "And did you?" She asks, waggling her brows. "Thank him properly?"

You grin, nose wrinkling in that way that always earns you a kiss from Dieter. “Twice.”

"Jesus." She huffs under her breath in amazement and a little jealousy. "How many fuc-udging times did you do it yesterday?"

“Uh…” You actually have to stop and think, literally tallying it up on your fingers as you recall each and every orgasm vividly. “…Five…”

"Oh my God." Her eyes widen almost comically. "He can go five times in a day?"

“The previous record was three.” Even though you have the decency to look a little sheepish about it, it’s not like you’re upset that your soulmate loves sex. “But yesterday was a special occasion.”

"Fuck." Her voice is low, but that deserves the real word. "No wonder you were a little stiff this morning." She giggles.

“So was he.” You snicker, smothering a giggle with both hands. “I mean, for the normal morning reason, ya know?” You had both elected to skip morning sex today in favor of a thorough shower, since you had fallen asleep a rumpled mess after one more round last night.

"Well at least you know you are both compatible in that." She reasons. "Can you imagine a soulmate who was just horrible in bed?"

“I mean I’m sure that’s not top priority for some people, and that others are…shall we say…compatibly bad.” The idea of it just makes you shake your head. “But I’m grateful that we aren’t those people.”

"I'm glad you are getting laid." She winks at you. "You needed it."

“God yes.” A giggle bubbles out of you that you just can’t deny. “I’m so much more relaxed.”

"Amazing that the man you thought you hated is giving you the best ...snuggles of your life." She teases playfully.

“One of life’s little ironies, I guess.” Since you never know what could have been if you had met years ago, you’ve decided not to harp on it. Instead, you’re just glad that you have the time you have. However long that will be.

"I am happy the two of you are getting along." She murmurs softly, forgoing the teasing to give you her honest thoughts.

“Things are good.” You finish your drink and sit back in your chair, tracing your fingers along one of Dieter’s triangles in your arm. “I just hope they stay that way.”

"I don't think you have to worry about that." She predicts, watching you toy with the tattoo that had been the source of so much ire for so long. Both of you were idiots - and in love with one another - but you both were her idiots.

******

Three days came and went like wildfire, and even though you missed spending all you time with Dieter, being able to share your favourite things around Geneva with Steph and Nora made everything absolutely worthwhile. Having to bring them to the airport after leaving Dee at the studio feels like ripping a big hole out of your own chest and you know you’re moping as you get out of the cab with them at the airport departure gate.

"You will be back in ten days." Steph reasons, shouldering the bag she was bringing on the plane with her while Nora proudly wheels the Toy Story suitcase that Dieter had managed to find somewhere behind her. She wasn't going to complain about the trip, even though she was already missing you, having enjoyed every second of her impromptu getaway.

“I’ll still text you every day and send you tons of pictures.” Tugging Steph into your arms, you practically crush her against you in a hug before reaching to do the same with Nora. “Did you have fun on your first time in another country, sweetie?”

Nodding, Nora lets out a slightly put out sigh and looks up at you with large, pleading eyes. Saying bye to Uncle DeeDee had included a few tears but she had been mollified by his promise to send her Aunt Gigi home soon. "Do we have to go?" She asks again. "I really, really, really love it with you and Uncle DeeDee."

“And we really, really, really love that you came, honey.” You hug her fiercely, willing yourself not to cry. The throbbing headache that you woke up with this morning won’t be helped at all by crying. “But vacations don’t last forever. That’s what makes them special.”

“I wanna go on anofer vacation soon.” Nora looks at her mom and then over at you. “I like you and Uncle Deedee kissing, Gigi. It’s cute. And you kiss on vacation.” Obviously since she hasn’t seen you kiss any other time, her little mind put those things together.

“You like it when I kiss Uncle Deedee, huh?” You chuckle softly, hugging her tight one more time before pressing a kiss to her hair and setting her back down on the ground beside her mom. “That might happen when we’re not on vacation too, sweetie. Would that be okay with you?”

“Do you like Uncle Deedee?” She asks, biting her lip and looking up at you in awe. She’s been teased about boyfriends, but she wonders about it. Uncle Deedee is handsome and fun.

Nora’s hair is wild today, curls bouncing in every direction, and they bounce around her face as she turns up her chin at you and worries her bottom lip. Being honest with her has always been key, but you’ve never had to be honest with her about a relationship before — you just haven’t been in them. “Yes.” You nod, brushing stray hairs from her face. “I do like Uncle Deedee. I like him a lot.” Exhaling slowly, you watch Nora’s face for a moment before explaining: “He’s my soulmate, and I really like spending time with him.” You know that she understands the basic concept of soulmates. That everyone does from a very young age. And you know that she’s seen your tattoos and Dieter’s side by side. But you can’t be sure that she’s put the two things together, since the night you explained to her that your marks are from your soulmate was before she had met Dieter or even heard his name.

“Does that mean you get married?” Nora asks. “Elisabeth says that soulmates get married and have babies.”

“Sometimes they do.” After all, romantic soulmates are the most common. “But sometimes they’re best friends, or partners for things, or they might love each other a lot but never get married. There’s no rule about what you have to do once you’ve met your soulmate.” What you want is still somewhat up in the air as far as you’re concerned - although you know that that isn’t just up to you.

“Do you want to get married?” She asks, brow scrunched in confusion as she tries to understand.

"Well, that's not just up to me, sweetie." Nor is it a topic you would ever go near with Dieter. Not when things are going so well. Nothing in the whole world is more likely to scare him off. "That's a decision that adults make together."

She nods and shoots you a grin. “I think you’re gonna get married.” She predicts. “Uncle Deedee wants to.” She announces before she lunges forward and gives you another hug. “Bye Auntie Gigi.”

"Uh..." You try not to stare, picking up your jaw off the ground long enough to hug her again. "Bye, honey. I—I love you." The look you give Steph is more akin to what the fuck? than anything else, and as you go to hug your best friend one more time you mutter: "Did he say something to her?" In Steph's ear, practically begging her to see if she can keep her daughter talking while they get through security and off to their gate. If he did, you need to know what it was, and you also know that Steph completely understands that need.

“I’ll talk to her.” Stephanie squeezes you extra hard for reassurance and kisses your cheek before she pulls away. “Go back to the hotel and get some sleep, okay?” She tells you with a knowing look. “That headache isn’t going to go away by itself.” She’s known you for too long to not recognize the symptoms of Aunt Gigi hurting and trying to put on a brave face.

"Love you." The fact that she knows you so well is both a blessing and a curse, and you give her hand one last squeeze before Steph turns to scoop Nora up and whisk her into the bustling airport.

You climb back into the cab with a sigh, asking the driver to simply take you back to the hotel. This migraine isn't going to go away on its own, as Steph pointed out, and there's something else on your mind that only occurred to you this morning that is wreaking havoc in your mind. An offhanded comment from your best friend this morning about starting her period had made you suddenly acutely aware of the fact that yours is late – something which had escaped your notice while you were too happily ensconced in the best and most frequent sex of your life. Of course you are faithfully using condoms with Dieter now – but that first time you were nowhere near as responsible. The world has a way of laughing at you when it comes to Dieter, so you've decided not to freak out about it. You'll go back to the hotel, pop a few aspirin, and nap off this migraine for as long as it takes. If you still haven't started your period by tomorrow, you'll hop down to the pharmacy after Dieter goes to the studio and buy a pregnancy test, and deal with that terrifying ordeal when you come to it. Cool, calm, and collected. That's the way to do it today. Anything else just makes your head throb too intensely.

By the time you get back to the hotel it's starting to become unbearable, and the plans you had for ordering a pot of tea and an afternoon snack from room service are too much to even consider. You know you saw an aspirin bottle somewhere in the bathroom, and the search has now become vital. Drawing every curtain in the place closed on your way through the rooms, you end up in the darkened bathroom with only the flashlight of your cell phone to guide you, because the less light that meets your eyes right now the better. You've practically ransacked the place before you find the aspirin bottle sitting beside Dieter's myriad of hair products that he never seems to use. It's not a brand you recognize, but aspirin is aspirin, right? Taking three for good measure, you wash them down with a drink of water and decide to go lie down in bed. Hopefully Steph will be able to figure out if Dieter actually said anything to Nora or if her active little mind is just extrapolating things before they get on their flight and she can text you, because the wondering is just interminable. Commitment is a 'c' word that you would never bring up to him in a million years, but if he said something? If he gave any kind of indication that he feels about you the way you feel about him? That would be amazing. Unbelievable, but amazing. It's somehow impossible to sleep despite being dead tired, and sluggishness is creeping into your body - holding you to the bed with invisible arms. With your eyes closed you have no idea how much time has passed, but a nauseousness and powerful dizziness slowly set in. The room is spinning around you and you can't even grasp the blankets to hold on for the ride because you can't flex your fingers—

Why can't you flex your fingers? Why can't you move your leg? Why – when you crack your eyes open to try to get your bearings – are you seeing double? The blankets around you have transformed into a beautiful green field with lovely butterflies and flowers that may or may not be singing to you, and those pills weren't aspirin, were they?

The terror that sets in is a deep and all-consuming anxiety, making you cry fierce tears that you cannot feel. This is your worst nightmare, and it has come back to life: alone, unable to seek help, with some kind of drug in you but you have no idea what it is or what it will do to you. The beautiful field around you seems to be far away as you curl into the fear in your own mind. Alone. With no help. Who knows what or how much you took. You could die right here and no one would find you for hours. Hours. Minutes. Weeks. Days. How long have you been lying here? At least your migraine is gone...

******

There had definitely been a little bit of a chilly atmosphere on set today. Not from the cast, but the director had been short with his interactions with Dieter, making him guess what the man was looking for when he reset the scene to redo nearly a dozen times before he was satisfied with it. Making Dieter roll his eyes at the childishness of the entire situation. Being upset about him taking the day for his soulmate’s birthday and then two days later having a late start morning and two hours of shooting was the height of power play bullshit in his opinion. Of course, the director wants the early day tomorrow, so that’s okay.

Slotting his key into the door, he wonders if you are upset that Stephanie and Nora are gone. It’s been a wonderful few days that they’ve been here and your attitude has been nearly bubbly and giddy. Not to mention the sex has been even more satisfying, with you thinking you need to ‘thank’ him for flying them out. You don’t, but Dieter would never turn down an opportunity to have his cock in any part of your body you suggest. Maybe he can talk you into letting him make you both cum before you decide what to do for dinner.

The room is dark, making him frown in confusion since you’ve not once closed the curtains in the living area since you’ve been here. But now, he’s about to trip over the furniture unless he makes his way to the lamp beside the table. “Babe?” He calls out. “Are you here?”

The only sound to follow in the suite is the sound of soft crying – not the hysterical sobbing kind, but the sniffling sound of a constant stream of worry and heartache and not inconsiderable fear. The green field with all its flowers and butterflies has begun to morph around you, and Dieter’s voice punctuates the hallucination unexpectedly. “Where am I?” Is the question you manage to ask, even though you meant to ask “Where are you?”

You sound different and while the crying is not surprising considering you dropped your best friend and your niece off; it doesn’t sound sad. He calls your name, instantly on guard as he nearly stumbles over something that was left near the bedroom door and hits the handle, careening into the room. “What’s wrong?”

The desperate desire to reach for him – grab at the comfort of having him close to you – is completely hampered by the fact that you can’t move. No matter how hard you try to raise your hand, it’s not happening. The only thing that seems to work are your eyes and mouth, but thank god it’s something. “Don’t—not sure.” You mumble, seeing two of him as he finally nears the bed. The fact is, you have no idea how long you’ve been laying here or what the fuck was in that pill bottle, but you have done enough illicit substances in your life to know that there is no chance it was aspirin. “Feel heavy.”

His eyes widen, unaware if you know you are slurring badly. The first, horrifying thought is that you’ve had some sort of medical trauma. Mini stroke or aneurysm because he knows you wouldn’t get high. “Baby.” His fingers are reaching for you, sweeping over your body and you feel warm, really warm. “What happened?” He rushes out. “Did you— did you take something?”

He sounds far away – like you’re underwater almost – and the fact that there’s two of him is making everything feel a little less warm and cozy. There’s not supposed to be two of him. “Aspirin.” Getting the word out is harder than it should be, but your mouth is so dry. “The fuck kind of Swiss aspirin does this?”

Shit. Icy cold dread washes over Dieter and he scrambles onto the bed to cup your cheeks in his hands. “Listen to me.” He orders you, voice sterner than it probably should be with concern. “Where did you get the aspirin? Was it mine?”

The tears come a little harder, mostly from confusion, but that deep-seated part of you that desperately fears doing something wrong is certain you’re in trouble for going through his things. “Bathroom drawer…” you manage to tell him, finding that if you close one eye, one of the Dieters goes away.

“Okay.” The fear that it’s medical dissipates, but now there is the new and very real fear that you will fucking hate him. Again. “It’s okay baby, it’s all going to be alright.” He reassures you. “It wasn’t aspirin. That’s why you feel weird.” His hand flips and his knuckles caress your cheek gently, trying to soothe you.

“Bottle said aspirin.” The fingers on your left hand seem slightly independent and wiggle slightly against his knee. It’s the best you can do as far as reaching for him goes but you wish he’d hug you or something. “H—had…had a migraine…”

“I’m sorry.” Dieter murmur. “I’m so sorry, baby. It’s not aspirin. I— it’s ketamine.” He explains. “It was my – back up – safety net.” He feels like shit, knowing you will hate him for this. “I didn’t take it. I just kept it nearby – a reminder that I had it if – well, if…”

It takes a long moment to process what he’s saying to you, longer than it should because of the drug coursing through your system. But when you finally wrap your head around it, it’s like the butterflies and flowers and lush green grass all around you start to waver and roll, as your mind starts to be taken over by panic. “No, no, no, no…” If you could shake your head, you would. You would beg him to tell you it isn’t true. Not because you’re worried that he’s been on it, you’re not thinking straight enough for that. No, right now the fear is irrational and terrifying, and not coming in complete thoughts. “Not good. Baby.”

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” He rushes out. “It’s gonna be okay. I promise. I’ll get you some water.” His hand is still on you, and he presses his lips to your forehead.

Water doesn’t take three hours to get, but somehow you’re certain that that is how long he’s gone. Staring at the ceiling, the ambient sound of shouting outside leaks through the haze of being high and become the sound of crying to your unclear ears which only makes your own distress worse.

He’s not proud of the way that he freaks out. Certain that this is it and you’re going to hate him. Throwing a tantrum in the bathroom as he dumps the rest of the ketamine – after discovering you took three pills. He had known exactly how many were in that bottle. Flushing the pills down the toilet and and shouting and crying in frustration and anger at himself before he gets that water he promised you and rushes back to the room to help you, eyes red rimmed from the tears.

“Baby.” The word is on repeat for you, but you can’t explain why. Desperate to not be alone while on something you’ve never taken before – and to see if you can actually move a little this time. As soon as he’s back beside you, all you can think of is that day in the alley in Haight Ashbury. How the kids who had been your friends all leaned over you, looked into your scared, hazy eyes, and decided you weren’t worth the effort. “Gonna leave again.” You shudder, convinced of it beyond doubt.

Dieter chokes out a small sob, wrapping his arm around you and making you sit up. “It’s okay.” He promises. “You’re going to be okay. I’m here. I’m here.” He knows you are terrified; this is your worst nightmare come true and it’s his fault. “Drink baby. Drink all of this.” He puts the glass up to your lips, needing you to stay hydrated.

“Baby.” Drinking the water in long gulps has you oscillating between relief and a panicked feeling of drowning, but soon the glass is empty. “‘S not good for baby…” The thought is there, loud and clear, and you wonder how he could possibly not be worried about the baby when a second ago you were equally convinced that he was going to abandon you completely. Nothing is connected yet everything is, as the thoughts in your mind weave in and out of each other. Anxiety and fear exist for you in spades though your body is light as a feather. It’s dissociative and yet at the same time you’re completely aware of everything you have ever felt all at once.

He freezes, hand nearly dropping the glass before he manages to fumble it onto the nightstand. “Baby?” He whispers, eyes wide. “I – fuck – what?”

“S-Stephy got her period.” Though still slurred, your speech is a little clearer after the glass of water clears up your dry mouth. “I didn’t.” That does make you shake your head though, and wonder out loud as you stare at the buttons on his shirt. “What’s time, though?”

“Shit.” His stomach twists and his eyes dart down to your stomach, wondering if he had royally fucked everything up in your life. It was possible and Dieter can’t decide if he’s terrified or…happy. It’s confusing but he shoves that aside to concentrate on you. “Time is right now.” He murmurs, stretching out beside you and keeping you pulled close to him. “I’m here. You’re gonna be okay, baby.”

“Time’s right now.” Somehow that’s oddly comforting, even with how the world seems to be crumbling in at you from all angles. And because of the way your memories are clawing at the edges of your consciousness right along with it, the mumbled ramblings quickly become apologies instead. “Sorry” and “Didn’t mean it” and “Migraine” are the fragmented explanation you have for him, and you know they aren’t good enough even though you can’t really give him more. The words come and go, and right now they are gone.

“It’s okay.” He promises, knowing you never would have taken those pills if you had known about them. “You can yell at me.”

“Not mad.” The realization isn’t easy, because you can’t tell if you’re actually not mad or you’re not mad because of the ketamine. “‘M scared.”

“I’m not going to leave you.” Dieter knows what a bad trip is like, he’s had them before and he’s never really been left to die. Not when he was aware of it. His own OD, he was unconscious. “You need the hospital? I’ll take you; I’ll take you right now.” Whatever it takes to make you feel better is what will happen.

“Nuh-uh.” Adopting Nora’s favorite phrase of disagreement, you manage to shake your head a little before it makes you too dizzy and you groan, resting your head against his chest. “Don’t want trouble. You’ll get in trouble.” The worry in your voice is all trained on him, and you barely register his shirt being damp. You’re crying again. “Was supposed to be good for you.”

"You are good for me." Dieter promises, reaching up to stroke your cheek again. You are crying and he doesn't want you to do that. Not for him. "It's okay baby, it's okay. You didn't know."

The raspberry you blow at him is derisive and obviously a disagreement, despite the fact that your face is buried in his chest. “Noooooo.”

He can't help but chuckle at you. You are being utterly ridiculous, but he will take this over the upset and frantic soulmate he had been met with when he came back to the room. "Is the room spinning?" He asks, grateful that you aren't screaming at him in anger for leaving drugs in the room.

“Room. Pffffffft.” In the eye of your high, you’ve been outside for hours. That beautiful field melted away to that horrifying alley – but this time Dieter is with you. It’s the rescue you dreamed of but never got. Seventeen years old and wishing while you lay dying that your soulmate would come and save you from the pain. This time he’s here, and there isn’t pain. Just the occasional flash of panic over a baby that may or may not exist. But the way you feel right now? You may or may not even exist. You have no idea. “S’all tippy and whirly. But no more headache.”

“That’s good.” He muses, running his hand up and down your back, trying to keep you calm. “Just close your eyes. It helps.”

Closing your eyes is a good idea in theory, but it intensifies how sleepy you’re feeling as your body wavers between feeling light as air and yet somehow also immovably heavy. “Tired,” you murmur, already feeling yourself slip away from your body.

“It’s okay to be tired.” Dieter coos softly, knowing that sleeping it off is the best thing for you. “You sleep and I’ll be right here.”

“‘Kay…” There has never been an easier suggestion in the world, and you shift only so slightly against him before two more words tumble from your lips on your way to sleep: “Love you.”

Dieter gasps, his hold on your shoulder tightening and he closes his eyes, hating that his heart soars at the words you have spoken while you aren’t yourself. “I love you too.” He promises softly, even if he knows you don’t hear it.

******

The curtains are still drawn when you open your eyes next. It’s been almost fourteen hours and you slept right through them, tossing and turning and snoring and jolting in your heavy slumber. The room is pitch black when you blink and rub your eyes, and the warmth that you have come to fully expect of nowhere beside you. Reaching out, you notice your watch and a ring are still on your hand — which is weird because you never sleep in any kind of jewelry. “Babe?” Your throat is hoarse, making you cough a little. No sound of the shower…maybe he’s getting dressed? “Dee?”

Dieter hears you from the living room, grabbing the bottle of water that he had ordered this morning to be delivered with breakfast. He had been in the middle of writing you a note to leave with the tray, but he rushes back into the bedroom. "Hey." He murmurs, seeing you sit up and coming over to your side.

“Hey.” You’re a little foggy, but you lean forward to kiss him with one hand on his cheek. “You gotta go?”

“I’m sorry.” He is, he had almost called and said he wasn’t making it, but it was only two hours and then he would be back. Plus, he had thought you might sleep the entire time. “I stayed as long as I could. I was leaving you a note.” He frowns slightly and twists the cap off the bottle of water and hands it to you. “When I get back, we need to talk, okay? But I’ve got to go.”

“Okay.” Though you definitely don’t like the sound of we need to talk, you nod your head and give him another quick kiss. Is he mad that you slept through him coming home last night? That must have been a bitch of a migraine to make you sleep that much.

Dieter sighs and stands up. You don’t seem angry right now, but you just woke up and there have been plenty of times that ketamine had affected his memory. “I’ve ordered breakfast. When you feel like getting up, you need to eat it.” He doesn’t wait for an answer, knowing that he’s going to be late if he doesn’t get his ass moving.

All your favorite things are on that breakfast tray: crepes with fresh fruit and whipped cream, a beautiful French omelet full of herbs and cheese, hot and buttery pain au chocolate, and a pot of steaming tea with matching silver vessels of sugar cubes and cream. It’s an exquisite indulgence, and one that doesn’t say anger at all. Maybe he feels bad that Steph left, and you didn’t feel well? If so, it’s a gorgeous display of sympathy and you’re grateful for it, because you’re completely starving.

******

Dieter sighs as he checks his phone one last time before he puts it back in his pocket. You hadn't blown it up, screeching at him for what he had unknowingly done. He just needed to finish up this scene and then he can go back to the hotel and talk to you, and hopefully clarify things.

It’s a few hours before he’s back again, and you’re out on the bedroom balcony with your easel and watercolors when you hear the suite door open. After eating, showering, and changing your clothes, you feel like a whole new woman. Yesterday is a blur, but migraines are like that sometimes. “Back here!” You call when you hear him call your name from the front room.

You sound...happy. His eyes widen slightly and he wonders what has put you in such a good mood. The bag in his hand feels like it weighs five hundred pounds, but he carries it towards the sound of your voice and stops to admire you for a moment. Your back to him as you splash the paint on your canvas in clear, determined strokes. The sun shines on you and seems to cast a halo, making you seem angelic and the tabs that are open on his phone don't seem quite so daunting.

“Hey baby.” The last time you actually called him by his full name seems like it was eons ago, but that’s a good thing. “I’m sorry I slept through you coming home last night.” Turning to face him, you wipe a little paint off your hand and offer him an apologetic smile. “I haven’t gotten a migraine that bad in a long time. You’re not mad, are you?”

Dieter lifts a brow and hums, realizing that you don't remember what happened last night. He swallows, knowing that you might hate him when he tells you, but he owes you the truth. "I'm not mad." He promises, giving you a sad smile, "but you might be."

“Why?” Tilting your head at him, you abandon the canvas and your paints to step inside with a furrow in your brow. “Do you have to go back to work or something? That’s fine. It’s literally what you’re here for.”

Dieter shakes his head. "No, I'm home for the day." It's amazing that he has come to think of this hotel room as home, but he does. You are here, which makes it home. Another reason why this conversation had to happen and his solutions that he had been thinking of all day needed to be offered. "What do you remember of last night?" He asks softly.

“Umm…I dropped Steph and Nora off at the airport, came back and took a couple of aspirin, then laid down to sleep off my migraine.” You shrug a little, embarrassed that you obviously slept so long. “Had some vivid as hell dreams.”

"Baby..." He shuffles slightly, shoulders rounding in shame for having to tell you this. "I— you didn't take aspirin." He admits quietly. "You – the bottle I had was filled with ketamine." He swallows and sighs. "You were high as a kite when I got here last night."

“I—what?” Both of your arms wrap around your waist as you rock back on your heels in surprise. “That doesn’t—no. No. Because you’ve been clean since we met.” Surprise quickly gives way to denial, and you shake your head. “You told me you wanted to stay clean. Why would you have ketamine?”

"I—" He flushes and looks away from you, embarrassed. "It was a safety net." He explains, feeling like his tongue weighs a thousand pounds. "I just kept it, it was – uh, reassuring that it was there if I needed it. I kept it in the aspirin bottle in the bathroom, but I hadn't taken it."

“You had a bottle of Special K just chilling in our hotel room?” Addiction is no joke. You know that. It’s an awful disease that claims thousands of lives every year, but after what you told him about your own past you have to admit to being upset. More than upset. You’re mortified. “H—how…how much did I take? I feel fine today, so I—” His slumped shoulders and your tense ones are at odds, and you carefully step closer to him to force him to look at you. “Shit…”

"I'm so sorry." He offers, nearly babbling as he tries to apologize. "You took three. You were panicked, upset last night but I took care of you. Watched over you while you were...riding your high." He lifts the bag and sighs. "I brought you some tests, wanting to make sure that you had nothing to worry about."

“Tests?” You stare at him, obviously missing another piece of the puzzle. “Like…drug tests?”

"Shit..." Dieter closes his eyes, cursing himself for being such an idiot. "You— when you were crying, you were upset that being high would hurt the baby." He tells you. "You said you haven't gotten your period yet. So I brought you some tests."

“Jesus Christ.” At this point you just need to sit down, and you drop onto the edge of the bed with your face in both hands. “I…I got it.” You mumble, feeling overwhelmed to the point of edging on numb. “This afternoon. It’s just a couple of days late, I shouldn’t have—” You huff, almost like the combined act and sound will banish the tears rising in your eyes. “I wouldn’t have said anything if I wasn’t high.”

"It's okay." Dieter drops the bag and hurries forward, hitting his knees in front of you. You had said a lot while you were high last night, and he won't hold it against you. "You should have said, I—I was looking at rings, you know, in case." He manages, reaching out and cupping your cheek. "Don't cry baby."

“You what?” When your head pops up, your eyes are as wide as saucers. It’s complete shock that instantly dries the few falling tears, and you all but gape at him – though in this moment you have no idea if you’re excited that he trended in the way of rings instead of leaving you in the dust, or surprised by it. The man you have come to know isn’t heartless, just a little unpredictable. “My period was a few days late and you went straight to rings?” Alright, maybe you do know how you feel about that. The beat your heart just skipped is a giveaway.

"Yeah." He shakes his head. "Stupid, I know, but I wanted –" He shrugs, almost embarrassed and unable to tell you that he was slightly disappointed by the fact that you had started your period. Something that shocked the shit out of him.

“To do the right thing?” Gently sliding backward to sit up in bed, you pat the mattress beside you. “I need you to tell me what happened.” It’s slightly more than a request, because you need him to tell you whether he likes it or not, but you’re not trying to start a fight. At least, not as long as he did one important thing. “And— please tell me you got rid of those pills? I don’t even understand why you had them.”

"I didn't –" He bites his lip, ready to protest that it wasn't to do the right thing. Instead, he gets up and sits beside you. "I came back and you were crying in the bedroom. Freaking out." He takes it as a good sign that you aren't slapping him or throwing him out of his own hotel room. "You told me that you had taken the aspirin in the bathroom and freaked out a little more when I told you what it really was. Yes, I flushed the pills, I never— it was something to keep me from going off the deep end. I had them, so I didn't need them. If that makes sense? Maybe? I don't know." He sighs. "I got you some water and you told me about being late and being high hurting the baby before I made you drink some water and you fell asleep." He focuses on telling you the facts and letting you know you hadn't been alone. "You didn't want to go to the hospital. I offered."

"That's it?" Embarrassed enough that you're having trouble looking at him, you still almost reach for his hand. He sounds as outwardly upset as you are inwardly, and you're trying to process what the hell kind of safety net a bottle of pills could be, but you can't, really. But then, you've never had a full-blown addiction. So of course the logic feels skewed to you.

"That's it." He promises. "I – I understand if you want to leave." He's miserable at the idea, but he won't keep you here and he's not going to hold you to your words before you feel asleep in his arms. He knows it was just the drugs, he's said plenty of shit like that when he was drugged out of his mind too. Telling you would make things weird and ruin everything more than it already is.

"I'm not going to leave." Your hand inches over, resting lightly over his but not demanding to be held. Just offering. As mortified as you are, it sounds like he did everything right. "You...you have no idea." The sigh that parts your lips is nearly resigned. "But when I was a kid...a teenager, I mean? All I wanted that night was for you to magically appear and rescue me. It was...it was this stupid, adolescent thing in my head, but I was literally laying there just wishing you would find me like fucking Snow White in the forest. And...and last night you kind of did that."

The relief that he feels is palpable, making him nearly weak with it as he clings to your hand. "I wasn't going to leave you. I didn't. The only time I left your side was when I flushed the pills and get your water." He promises you. "I couldn't just let you worry about it."

"You actually went through last night and half of today thinking I could be pregnant?" With his hand in yours, fingers laced tightly and squeezing for dear life, a new kind of anxiety starts to set in. There are questions here that are demanding answers which you never, ever thought you would need to give. And some that you can't give. Some questions about your future can only be answered by him, and that's even more terrifying. Giving up control is not a thing that you relish at all.

“I thought it could be possible.” He admits. “We’ve been having sex and even if I did pull out the first time, it’s not fool proof.” He squeezes your hand back.

"Yeah, but you functioned through an entire night and day with that thought in your head and didn't implode." You're actually impressed, in an odd way, though you're afraid that telling him that could be taken as condescending when you don't mean it that way at all. "Most guys would have run for the hills."

“I don’t know if I was scared shitless or excited.” The words are out of his mouth before he even thinks. “I mean— it would depend on what you thought.” He adds. “That is the most important thing.”

"This is what you meant, isn't it?" You lift your head to find him looking down at you with searching eyes. "When you left this morning, you said we needed to talk."

“What did you think I meant?” He asks, frowning slightly in confusion. “I half expected you to be screaming at me when I got here.”

"I had no idea." It could have been work, it could have been something Steph said, it could have been a message from Libby. It could have been anything. "But since you left me that amazing breakfast, I figured you weren't mad at me."

“I wasn’t mad at you.” He shakes his head and gives a small, unamused chuckle. “I just— I hated leaving this morning. Knowing that you had just gone through what you feared most. Because of me.” His voice breaks and tears roll down his cheeks, staring at your joined hands.

"Hey..." Seeing him cry definitely wasn't on the list of things you expected from today – or ever – but you tug him closer by your joined hands and carefully brush his cheeks dry with your other thumb before pressing a kiss to the corner of his mouth. "Unlike the last time I couldn't remember what happened with you, this is a good thing." Although the sentence actually makes you cringe, and you mirror his wry laugh. "Maybe I should check my choices so I stop losing my memory around you. That might be better."

“It might be better.” He admits with grin. “Although maybe it’s because I’m me.”

"Dee..." The impulse to rest your head on his shoulder is strong, but for the sake of asking the hard question, you have to resist it right now. "Do you actually want to stay clean? I—I know you said you did. And I don't think you lied to me, but...but imagine if I was pregnant and we did have a kid and they were the one who had taken those pills."

Dieter sighs, “I wasn’t planning on keeping them forever.” He hadn’t thought of that, but he doesn’t like the idea. “I promised myself that I wouldn’t touch them. Prove to myself that I didn’t need them, and I would get rid of them when I got back to L.A.” He feels foolish but he never said he was the most rational of men. “Kind of like a sobriety chip.”

The expression on your face is lopsided, but you pull his hand into your lap and run your thumb over his gently. "What if we got you an actual sobriety chip? NA meetings and a sponsor and all of that? I mean I'm not going to force you or anything, but if you want to do it formally, I'll help however I can." What you went through when you were younger isn't really quantifiable as an addiction, but technically until yesterday you guess you were seventeen years sober.

“I can’t do that.” Dieter gives you a small shrug. “Non-disclosures and everything. It’s a legal mess, so they encourage me not to go that route.”

"What about me, then?" It's slightly sticky, having someone close to you that you care about be your sponsor, but plenty of people do it. There's the risk that they could grow to resent you for keeping them from their addiction, but more often than not it turns out to be a beneficial connection. "I mean, you can tell me to go to hell and I'll totally understand. But...if it's something you want to try, then maybe I could be your unofficial sponsor?"

“I don’t know.” He bites his lip and ponders that idea. “It’s— I don’t want you to worry about the cravings.” He shrugs. “But, maybe I could talk about it sometime? To the woman I’m in a relationship with?”

"I want you to be able to talk to me about anything." That, at least, is any easy truth. An easy truth attached to a much larger one. One that it may or may not be time for, all things considered. After all – if you can't tell him after he's been your accidental Trip Sitter and weathered the face of a pregnancy scare, then when can you? "The thing is..." Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, are you really about to do this? "I—I..." Squeezing your eyes shut, you barely manage to hold back from cursing at yourself out loud. "I am a giant fucking chicken is what I am."

Dieter snorts and shakes his head. “You aren’t a chicken. You are brave and kind and way too good for me.” He murmurs, picking up your hands and pressing a kiss to the back of yours.

"Brave?" The borderline disgusted raspberry you blow into the air is an inelegant protest, but it pretty much sums up how crap you feel that description is of you. "You thought I was pregnant and you went out and bought tests and started looking at fucking rings and I can't even get up the guts to tell you how much—" Just. Fucking. Do It! "How much I love you." It's like being punched in the gut when the words finally come out, and your whole body wants to slump like a marionette without its puppeteer. You said it. Now you just hope it isn't the final straw that makes him run. Or kick you out.

Dieter blinks and then gives a small bark of laughter. Holding tight to your hand when you try to pull back. “You did.” He tells you. “I thought it was the fucking drugs. You told me right before you went to sleep.” He looks over at you with a wide smile. “You mean it? You do love me?”

"I asked you to tell me everything!" Your jaw drops at him and you're nearly laughing in disbelief, so shocked that he heard that and that you said that and yet...yet he's sitting here and looking at you like that. Like you're replaced the sun in his sky. Like he has hope. "Jesus Christ, the first time I told you I love you was when I was high?" You're never going to live that down; you can just feel it. "I— yes. I mean it. But I realize it's fast and I don't expect you to say it back or even feel it. Maybe ever. I don't know."

“You fell asleep before you heard me tell you that I love you.” He admits. “I thought you were just spouting shit, but I meant it. I love you. I’ve been thinking it for a while.” It’s not eloquent or how he ever imagined it, but it helped to know that you loved him too.

"Wait – really?" It doesn't hit you until after that you truly had been bracing yourself for him to run for the proverbial hills. Terrified of any kind of commitment or just not wanting you to be the one even though the universe thought you were perfectly suited to each other.

“I was going to ask you to marry me if you were pregnant.” He makes a face at you, one that says you’re an idiot. “Don’t know what more to say than that. Do you honestly think I would do something I didn’t want to do?”

"Logically? No." You've practically tugged his entire arm into your lap as your heart swells, absorbing how real this moment is. Even if it came around because of something shitty, it is still a good thing. "But I can't say that my own personal logic machine is working on all thrusters right now."

“You did get really high last night.” Dieter snickers, reaching over and cupping your cheek with his free hand. “But, I’ve got to admit that I do love you. As in I hate that you are leaving in nine days.”

"I love you, too." It's like something inside you is singing, letting you open up and say the words without choking or sputtering out halfway through. "If I didn't have to go back to school, I would stay. I'm...I'm already dreading sleeping without you."

“Oh thank God.” Dieter rolls his eyes in relief. “I was afraid I was going to look like an idiot rolling up to your house right from the airport demanding to take a nap with you.”

"You're an idiot if you think I'm not picking you up." Despite the fact that he has multiple people who work for him, you had fully planned on surprising him with an airport pick up yourself. There didn't sound like any better way to say 'welcome home'.

“Really?” He perks up and gives you a happy grin. “I would like that.”

"It was going to be a surprise, but..." you shrug, feeling a little more than giddy. "I'll come up with another surprise for you by then."

“You don’t have to surprise me.” He tells you shyly. He doesn’t really know how to deal with someone wanting to give him something rather than the opposite.

"I know that." He's cute when he blushes. Always has been. "But this is part of who I am: random acts of love for the people who mean the most to me. Just ask Steph."

“I don’t know what my love language is.” The idea that he even knows what love language is, is laughable. Only knows about it because of some conversation they had about love languages while they were on the Cliff Beasts set.

"Then I guess we'll find out together." Leaning your forehead gently against his, a broad smile spreads across your face for the first time since the words have been said. It's relief and joy and disbelief all mixed together. "Because I'm not going anywhere, babe."

“Jesus.” Dieter breathes out, breaking into a wide, happy smile. “I love you.”

“Not Jesus.” You correct teasingly, leaning into press a sweet kiss to his lips. “Gonna need you to learn my name, Hollywood.” It's not as though he hasn't said it a hundred times or more – as well as panted, moaned, whined, whimpered, and nearly screamed it. It's still fun to tease him.

He rolls his eyes and sighs. “I honestly thought you were going to leave me.” He admits quietly. “That I fucked up.”

"At this point I think we've weathered plenty enough storms. If one of us was really going to leave, we would have done it by now." Cozying into his chest is one of your favourite places to be, but you grin a little as you settle against the bulk of him. "Ya know, Nora asked me yesterday if we were going to get married. She'll never know she was one pregnancy scare away from getting her wish."

“She asked me the same thing when I was watching cartoons with her.” He admits with a chuckle. “Said that only married people kiss, and I like kissing you so I needed to marry you.”

"That's where she got it from." His chest rocks slightly with his laugh and it rolls through until you're both chuckling under your breath. "Kiddo is too smart for her own good."

“Yes, she is.” He huffs, bringing you both back to where you are laying on the bed with your feet hanging over the edge. Right now, he’s just happy that you don’t hate him for the fact you got high because of him. “Smart cookie.” He murmurs. “Like her Aunt Gigi.”

______

Master Tags: @pixiedurango @chattychell @winter-fox-queen @lady-himbo @artsymaddie @princess76179 @paintballkid711 @missminkylove @pedrosbrat​ @ew-erin @sarahjkl82-blog @sharkbait77 @justanotherblonde23 @lv7867 @recklesswit @mylittlesenaar @f0rever15elf @gallowsjoker @steeevienicks @athalien @sherala007 @skvatnavle @thatpinkshirt @jaime1110 @girlimjusttryingtoreadfanfics @goodgriefitsawildworld @greeneyedblondie44 @katheriner1999 @littlemousedroid @churchill356 @ajathegreats-blog @hardc0rehaylz @beardsanddetectives @kirsteng42 @ladykatakuri    

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My Masterlist!

#Pedro Pascal #Pedro Pascal character fanfiction #Pedro Pascal fanfic #Dieter Bravo #Dieter Bravo x reader #Dieter Bravo x you #Dieter Bravo x female reader #The Bubble #soulmate au #Enemies to lovers #Trash Can Man #tw drug use #accidental drug use

[violetsiren90]

Yes! Serious was the other word I was trying to think of.. Those angry, annoyed, stern, serious, "death stare" expressions are very attractive.

I'm repeating myself again.

I mention that because I was recently seeing pictures and videos with those expressions right before I found your story. Which is ironic? Or.. I don't know. That might not actually be the word I was thinking of.

Anyway!

I was trying to keep my vulgarities to a minimum, just because I never know if I tend to cross boundaries in being too vulgar around people. I never know how comfortable would be with me saying or doing some things. Especially if you don't know how someone might act or react.

Back to what we were saying though...

I think another reason why I'm attracted to those serious expressions is because, well, most men - including the BTS boys - are a lot bigger than me. I'm a short person. They are literally three times my size too.

So that whole experience is on a whole other level in some ways.

Like manhandling.

And I know about bdsm. I've experienced it. I've read about it. So that isn't what I'm worried about though. I've read smut stories with bdsm involved. But not so many give me the serious expression" vibes to it.. And you researched it? Which is great! Not many people, that I know, actually attempt to research certain topics before really adding those details into the stories. So I'm happy someone actually researched it.

But the more morally amoralistic the fictional men are, the better that story is. In my opinion. So now I might have new stories to read.

I didn't actually mean for my message to be this long.

That is very ironic that you stumbled onto my story just off of a Bangtan serious-mode high!

I completely understand trying to respect the sensibilities of others! That being said, you are free to thirst on my page! It is ho-hours pretty much around the clock here... 😂💃

Oh man, do I understand you on the size thing! I am a 5'2" shorty myself, and with Namjoon especially I get dizzy at the mere concept of being tossed around! 🥴🥵

Ah, I see what you mean about the content including the serious expressions specifically! You know, I think that I was really focused on presenting that in Make Me because the inspiration was that one picture where he's in the studio with the other members of rapline (you know, the one where he's just got his head tilted back like the world is his bitch? 😩). I think since that was the kick-off for the whole concept I wanted it to be integral to his character as well.

Wow, what a huge compliment that you're someone who has participated in BDSM and enjoyed my little story! Yes, I did research beforehand because I wanted to be sure to really pay respect to the dom/sub dynamic and not misuse or misrepresent it in an attempt to write a trope. My friend @orchidyoonkook also helped me greatly with her contributions of knowledge about the community and their practices. I know you mentioned that you enjoy fics and smut with darker themes, and she has an absolutely delicious reader-insert oneshot (The Devil Wears Valentino) where Yoongi is the prince of demons himself!

And yes, morally grey characters can be so incredibly compelling! I'm not great at writing darker characters myself, so it's a skill I greatly envy!

#mermail💌 #anon asks #fic: Make Me

[gamebird]

Generic Cherokee stuff

From N. Bear, at the Cherokee Museum in North Carolina:

Traditionally, the people now known as Cherokee refer to themselves as Aniyunwiya (ah nee yun wee yah), a name usually translated as "the Real People," sometimes "the Original People."

The Cherokee never had princesses. This is a concept based on European folktales and has no reality in Cherokee history and culture. In fact, Cherokee women were very powerful. They owned all the houses and fields, and they could marry and divorce as they pleased. Kinship was determined through the mother's line.

Clan mothers administered justice in many matters. Beloved women were very special women chosen for their outstanding qualities. As in other aspects of Cherokee culture, there was a balance of power between men and women. Although they had different roles, they both were valued.

The Cherokee never lived in tipis. Only the nomadic Plains tribes did.

The Cherokee were southeastern woodland natives, and in the winter they lived in houses made of woven saplings, plastered with mud and roofed with poplar bark. In the summer they lived in open-air dwellings roofed with bark.

The Cherokee have never worn feathered headdresses except to please tourists. These long headdresses were worn by Plains Natives and were made popular through Wild West shows and Hollywood movies. Cherokee men traditionally wore a feather or two tied at the crown of the head. In the early 18th century, Cherokee men wore cotton trade shirts, loincloths, leggings, front-seam moccasins, finger-woven or beaded belts, multiple pierced earrings around the rim of the ear, and a blanket over one shoulder. At that time,

Cherokee women wore mantles of leather or feathers, skirts of leather or woven mulberry bark, front-seam moccasins, and earrings pierced through the earlobe only. By the end of the 18th century,

Cherokee men were dressing much like their white neighbors. Men were wearing shirts, pants, and trade coats, with a distinctly Cherokee turban. Women were wearing calico skirts, blouses, and shawls. Today Cherokee people dress like other Americans, except for special occasions, when the men wear ribbon shirts with jeans and moccasins, and the women wear tear dresses with corn beads, woven belts, and moccasins.

The Eastern Band of Cherokee Indians (EBCI) are descended from Cherokee people who had taken land under the Treaty of 1819 and were allowed to remain in North Carolina; from those who hid in the woods and mountains until the U.S. Army left; and from those who turned around and walked back from Oklahoma. By 1850 they numbered almost a thousand. Today the Eastern Band includes about 11,000 members, while the Cherokee Nation in Oklahoma claims more than 100,000* members, making the Cherokee the largest tribe in the United States.

Cherokee arts and crafts are still practiced: basket-weaving, pottery, carving, finger-weaving, and beadwork.

The Cherokee language is spoken as a first language by fewer than a thousand people and has declined rapidly because of the policies of federally operated schools. However, since the tribe has begun operation of their own schools, Cherokee language is being systematically taught in the schools.

Traditional Cherokee medicine, religion, and dance are practiced privately.

There have never been Cherokee shamans. Shamanism is a foreign concept to North America. The Cherokee have medicine men and women.

"aho" is not a Cherokee word and Cherokee speakers never use it. Most are actually offended by the misuse of this word. It's not some kind of universal Native word used by all tribes, as many believe. Each individual tribe have their own languages. We can respect these languages by using them correctly or not at all.

In order to belong to one of the seven Cherokee clans, your mother had to have been/be Cherokee and her clan is passed on to you. If the maternal line has been broken by a non Cherokee or someone had all sons, you have no clan, which is the case with many today.

There is only one Cherokee tribe that consist of three bands. The Cherokee Nation of Oklahoma, United Keetoowah Band of Oklahoma and the Eastern Band of Cherokee Indians of North Carolina. All others who claim a different band than one of the three above are not considered Cherokee and are a direct threat to Cherokee tribal sovereignty. In fact, to be Cherokee, one must be registered with the tribe, as Cherokee is a citizenship granted through documentation. One can have Native DNA but is not considered Cherokee until they are a registered tribal citizen.

via N. Bear

Cherokee man North Carolina

* Current tribal membership is 450,000 strong.

(From me: I'm not offended by 'aho'.)

#indian stuff #cherokee

[twelvemonkeyswere]

Last night, a news outlet was calling some narcotraffic crimes "terrorism." I asked my grandma why they were using that word. What was what they were doing terrorism for. Turns out they were attacking each other, in plain street, which is not with the objective of terrorizing "civilians" but to fight among gangs. And they were stopping cars at gunpoint and asking them to hand over money for right of passage, which is awful, but also daylight robbery, not an act of terrorism. There was no real ideology motivating the attacks, only money. I said to my grandma, "it sounds irresponsible to call this terrorism."

Of course, one of the current members of the government immediately was on the news like "we need more money for police, we need to fund more police". And shortly after there was a a segment that posed the question whether a hitman job against a Nicaraguan activist that happened recently in our country could be the fault of Nicaraguan organized crime. The ex minister of security was on screen saying no, it's more likely whoever organized the murder used Costa Ricans, but my grandma, who was only half listening and half playing with her tablet, said around, pensively "Nicaraguans fight so much, maybe..."

I tried to explain to her, how this right wing modeling works. How they build up the idea that now, suddenly, the enemy is so tangible all of our problems could be solved with more police arresting the problems. How they keep mentioning the debt our social security system has is impossible to maintain because the current government wants to privatize healthcare ("privatizing is bad?" she asked, honestly). I told her they'll always try to lie to her to convince her. "They'll tell you that they're trying to get things back to the way they were before," I said. "But things can never go back to the way they were before. It's impossible." She made a very pained face. I told her "things CAN get better. But they can never go back. Don't trust the lie of nostalgia."

She doesn't like it when I speak that way. She didn't like that I pointed out that theyll always blame immigrants for the problem ( "they'll always say it's the Nicaraguans or the Venezuelans or whoever," I said. "they only ever talk about the criminal Nicaraguans. When someone is achieving good things, they never mention the person is Nicaraguan.") just as the USA blames their immigrants. I told her to be smart. To be suspicious. If they say something, ask herself why they are saying it. I asked her to think, among the people who wronged her, among the people who wronged her family, who among them had ever been anything but Costa Rican. And yet she never believed Costa Ricans were a social problem.

I could see her thinking, I could see her trying to understand, trying to process, trying to find a way to refute. I could see that the propaganda of many years, her whole life, had cut deep. And I could see how the news worked in her so easily. Because that night she had greeted me saying "did you see, Wen, that we now have terrorists in Costa Rica?"

I really fucking hate the way buzzwords are used. The way they generate outrage by misuse. I can only hope this ends with this fucking government. I hope people fucking learn.

#my thoughts this morning #delete later

[mazeinthemiroh]

jeong yunho sfw alphabet

genre: fluff

word count: 2.1k

warnings: none

song rec: dissolve by absofacto

pls like and reblog if you enjoy! feel free to request anything <3

a - affection (how affectionate are they? how do they show affection)

the way yunho expresses affection is very playful

he's not too intense but he's not too shy either. he'll crack jokes here and there because he is obsessed with your smile

just wants to see you happy

he's quite traditional and definitely the romantic type. buying you flowers or your favourite snack has become a habit for him every time he visits you

b - best friend (what would they be like as a best friend?)

he's a very good friend

because all he wants to do is just hang out, eat something, talk for a bit, and then be on his way

he's quite an easy-going guy and is usually up for any sort of activity. so long as it's a laugh, he doesn't mind

c - cuddles (would they like to cuddle? how do they cuddle?)

he's very cuddly :(((

he's a puppy, let's be real

our golden retriever boy loves cuddles. he doesn't have to think twice before wrapping his long arms around you and pulling him closer to him

can get a bit shy with a lot of affection all at once but he doesn't mind

he feels especially cuddly when he is sleepy. so catch him late at night or just when he wakes up and he'll likely spoon you

d = domestic (do they want to settle down? how are they at cooking and cleaning?)

yes. yessss of course yunho wants to settle down

he has heart eyes for you and if he feels he's ready then he's willing to just go for it

and he's helpful around the house when it comes to cleaning

he's got that husband material, for sure

he'll attempt to do cooking, meticulously reading a cookbook for instructions, and will get the knack for it fairly quickly

he's a fast learner!

e = ending (if they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

dreads every second of it

first of all: he hates confrontation

second of all: he hates hurting people's feelings

so this is not a good mix of either of those things. and he feels it's impossible. probably the hardest thing he's ever had to do

he would probably go over to your place and tell you on the doorstep that he wants to break up

that way, you have the choice of whether to dismiss him or invite him in to talk about it more

f = fiance(e) (how do they feel about commitment? how quick would they want to get married?)

he's a traditional boy, so he likes the idea of both commitment and marriage

i actually see him being the first to marry out of all the members

not saying that he's going to rush into the decision. i just think he will be the most decisive one in this situation; he will know he wants to marry someone fairly soon as he's quite a good judge of character from the get-go

g = gentle (how gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

he's so gentle

i call him the BFG - Big Friendly Giant

yunho wouldn't hurt a fly, let's be real. sure, he has energy and can get hyper sometimes, but he never misuses that energy for negative reasons

he never has ill intentions, and would never hurt anyone's feelings intentionally. overall, he's just a wholesome guy

h = hugs (do they like hugs? how often do they do it? what are their hugs like?)

in the early part of the relationship, it seemed like yunho didn't really want to hug

especially in front of the other members. he would just get a little too bashful

but now? he greets you with a hug. he says goodbye with a hug. he hugs you when he's bored, when he's tired, when he's clingy, when he's grumpy

so yeah, hugs are a yes

he just loves having you in his arms at any point tbh

imagine hugging yunho i'm gonna cry just at the thought

he's like a giant teddy bear. he just feels so warm and cuddly and he's so gentle when he wraps his arms around your waist or plays with your hair.. quick, grab the tissues

i = i love you (how fast do they say the L-word?)

he won't rush into it

but when he tells you he loves you, he makes sure it's in a special moment, probably somewhere romantic. he wants it to be as special as possible because it's so important, and he wants you to look back on this moment with much fondness

j = jealousy (how jealous do they get? what do they do when they're jealous?)

he only really gets jealous when he deems it necessary

like if you're giving someone too much attention for his liking, completely neglecting him and getting too close to them, he might get jealous

but he hates it the most when you try to make him jealous, perhaps after you guys have had an argument or something

his jaw sort of clenches and he becomes noticeably quieter. if you try talking to him, his responses are short and blunt

he's not having any of it he's so hot, bye

k = kisses (what are their kisses like? where do they like to kiss you? where do they like to be kissed?)

soft, short and sweet

he'll only really kiss you on the lips. he just loves how oh so soft they are and he gets all blushy whenever your lips meet with his

but he loves it when you give him kisses on the cheek :( it makes him feel so precious and mushy inside

l = little ones (how are they around children?)

a little bit hesitant

but he knows how to handle them. he's responsible enough to understand how to take care of them

or at least, that's what you thought

we know yunho has some serious crackhead energy and, give him the right, crazy child, it's like he becomes one himself

probably best not to leave him unsupervised because he gets so competitive with children too like-

imagine losing at mario kart to a 7 year old, how embarrassing 💀

m = morning (how are mornings spent with them?)

for the love of all that is good and pure, PLEASE don't wake him up

he's so grumpy in the morning istg

it's actual adorable though like he's staying in bed half-awake for a solid half an hour before he even thinks about dragging his long limbs out of bed

just give him lots of cuddles and care and he should be fine

n = night (how are nights spent with them?)

depending on the day he's had, he's usually quite talkative at night time

he likes to unwind by gaming, and will most likely ask you to join him

which is so much fun except he's really competitive and will not let you go to sleep until he has defeated you multiple times

o = open (when would they start revealing things about themselves? do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

every date you go on with him, you get to know him more and more and more

it's like he gives you a little bit of detail about him for you to want to know more

he doesn't feel like telling you everything about him all at once. he thinks these things happen in their own time

p = patience (how easily angered are they?)

not easily angered at all

it takes a lot to get yunho angry. he's a very pleasing guy; he's just all about good vibes and doesn't seek any unnecessary drama

someone would really have to try to tick him off on purpose for them to get a rise out of him

q = quizzes (how much would they remember about you? do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

yunho remembers quite a lot!

he just assumes everyone's like that 🧍 because surely people should know most things about their partner, you know??

even if it's not every intricate detail, he still remembers most things about you and can recall things quite easily

r = remember (what is their favourite moment in your relationship?)

he loves the goofy moments, of course

the moments when he sees you fully let loose, match his energy and join him in crackhead moments!!!

he has a fond memory of you trying to sing one of their songs whilst doing the dishes, not caring if you got half the notes wrong

and when you attempted to belt jongho's lines and your voice cracks??

he's dying on the floor, barely able to breathe from the laughter

truly a key moment he cherishes

s = security (how protective are they? how would they protect you? how would they like to be protected?)

i'd say he's protective in an appropriate amount

he is not overbearing and pushy, but rather, he looks out for you. he cares about you

just as you care about him

he likes the fact that your relationship consists of open communication and both of you looking out for each other. he feels like he always has someone to turn to and he'd like to think you feel the same

t = try (how much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

yunho is very romantic

so he likes pulling off some grand gesture, especially on a big occasion

probably sets up a fireworks display or something when he proposes

and he gets the cutest gifts expensive too

honestly, he's the one you can count on for buying the best gifts

u = ugly (what would be some bad habits of theirs?)

bro this took me so long to figure out

yunho doesn't have any bad habits or traits 💀

i guess sometimes he is quite closed off, especially if he is upset or angry

he just doesn't want to burden or upset you with his problems and worries, even if he knows you're there for him and will only worry about him more if he isolates himself

v = vanity (how concerned are they with their looks?)

he likes to make sure he looks prim him proper

at work, he's a professional, and he wants to be treated as such #dresstoimpress

and he maintains this idea in a relationship because he wants to look nice and make an effort for you

so he always wears clothes that suit him so well <33

w = whole (would they feel incomplete without you?)

hmm i feel like he feels much better when he is with you, compared to when he is not

like he wants to share happy moments with you

if he's away from you for a long time, his mind usually wanders to the thought of you

"i'm sure y/n would like it here."

so in that sense, maybe he does feel incomplete without you. sure he has friends to share moments with, but you've become the most important person in his life, and he wants to share these positive aspects of his life with you

he's a romantic, what can i say?

x = xtra (a random headcanon for them.)

bro wants to hold your hand all the freaking time

it's not even funny anymore

at first you think it's super cute but then you're like... can i have my hand back now?

wants his intertwined his fingers with yours, lacing them in his hands, it's very unlikely that your hand will be free ever again

say goodbye to your freedom, basically <3

y = yuck (what are some things they wouldn't like, either in general or in a partner?)

he doesn't like being with people who are too tense

like they will take everything seriously and not see the fun in anything. they view the world in such a cynical light, which would ultimately drain yunho's energy right from the get-go

someone who can't seem to loosen up despite spending quite a bit of time with them, yunho would feel like he's wasted his time with someone who isn't worth it

z = zzz (what is a sleep habit of theirs?)

he's a freaking koala bear ngl

i can fully imagine him clinging onto you for dear life and having a death grip around you as he's asleep. there's no way you're escaping his arms, nuh-uh

he doesn't even know he's doing it so when you mention it the morning after he's like "what? i don't do that.."

#jeong yunho #yunho #ateez #atz #kpop #ateez scenarios #ateez imagines #ateez reactions #ateez headcanons #atz x reader #atz fluff #atz scenarios #atz imagines #atz headcanons #ateez x reader #kpop scenarios #kpop imagines #kpop fluff #kpop x reader #sfw alphabet #sfw #sfw headcanons