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#other things probably

it’s always interesting the way fandom sizes impacts creator visibility (like with supply and demand) but i’m especially thinking abt it rn bc i almost only ever write krbk which is such a big ship inside a huge fandom so i expected Nothing posting kagepro fic but half the people who read it left comments which is a crazy ratio. like i knew kagepro fandom is going thru a Renaissance rn and it’s a very cozy caring dynamic but i was always thinking “kagepro fandom small i will get 50 views tops” but in the end cozy and caring wins out over small in terms of engagement which is interesting 

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someone: yuki sohma isnt queer coded

me: thinks about all the times characters have called him a “pretty boy”, and all the times characters (boys) wanted to see him in a dress and fawned over him at the mere thought of it, and how he tried to force himself to be romantically interested in tohru (yes i am aware that he actually sees her as a mother figure instead of a possible romantic partner) and that is a very clear closeted queer trope that many real queer people go thru trying to force themselves to be “normal” when they dont know any better

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Anyone else know that touch-starved but not? Touch starved, but only from people you care about, and who care about you. Like, you need a hug more than anything, but you’d never ask anyone for a hug because you don’t feel close enough to anyone, and you don’t want to inconvenience anyone? Like, accidentally brushing fingers with someone (and promptly using sanitizer) is the highlight of your day, but you feel empty because you’d never talk to that person again in your life? Just to want nothing more than to love and be loved- but unable to open up to anyone?

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there is 100% a difference between understanding why harper did what she did and using her experience and feelings as an excuse for how she treated people. harper being afraid to come out is relatable. it really is. but treating people like trash because you are afraid to come out is not an excuse and it never will be. “people aren’t perfect” “you would’ve done the same thing”. no I wouldn’t have. from the beginning she did a shitty thing when she could’ve been honest with abby who seemed so Damn patient and understanding but she wasn’t. harper being in the closet is not an excuse for how she treated people. thats like those people who use their mental illness as an excuse to treat people like shit. it’s not a get out of jail free card. your trauma/fear doesn’t give you the right to treat people however tf you want.

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Y’know, I love fanfiction, and it’s a huge part of my fandom experience, but it is by no means the only measurement of my engagement, or love for something. There are works that I love, ships that I ship, that’s I’ve never written, or even read, and fic for. And there are lots of various reasons for that, it’s a very individual thing, but one reason is if the original work is…fine? 

Like, I don’t think “fixing” the source material is the only purpose that fanfiction has, I think there’s a lot of motivations, but I think it’s undeniable that that’s definitely one aspect, and often one of the most motivating. Or, at the very least, that it speaks to a certain “incompleteness”–the urge for something more than what was given. So, if I feel satisfied with what was given, then…I probably not gonna feel that urge to scratch that itch with fic. And I feel like this is a pretty obvious and established thing that fic does/is. 

So, why are people so surprised and aghast when a certain show, or ship, or something, has much, much more fic written for it than some other “better” show or (often canon) ship? Could it be…that it’s because it’s better? Or, if not only better, just that it already feels like a more “complete” story? That it didn’t leave the audience feeling that itch for more, because it gave the audience everything they needed? Or, even, there is an itch, but it’s not one that going to be scratched through fanfiction, but rather through fanart, or gifs, edits, or just talking about it? (Or just really, really wanting it to be canon–like, I have ships like that, that I ship the hell out of, but never read or write fic for cause I don’t really want fic I just WANT IT TO BE CANON DAMMIT!)

I love fanfic. I think it’s great, and that it serves a lot of functions. But there are movies and shows I rewatch over and over again, books I’ve reread over and over again, that I’ve never even touched in terms of fic. So maybe we should stop using fanworks as the (only) measurement of what people like or appreciate or are paying attention to. There are so many other ways that people like things, other than writing fanfiction based on it, which is a really specific urge borne of all sorts of odd, specific things, ranging from love to hate to curiosity to having a crush on a specific actor or hyper-relating to a specific character. It’s not necessarily a reflection of what people actually value–it’s just about scratching an itch, and you can’t go around telling people what itches they should have or how to scratch them, that’s just not how that works.

This is why any amount of looking at the numbers for fanfic and trying to use that as data to make broader statements about fandom is always going to be inherently flawed. Because there are just too many variables at play for it be any cohesive measurement of anything. There are no gates being kept in the world of fanfiction–no studios, or networks, or publishing houses, no funding or advertising. There’s nothing stopping any one from making the content–and as much of the content–as they want. So if you want something to exist you can actually just…make it yourself, in a way that just isn’t possible out there in the real world of media. And so, it doesn’t make sense to yell at or harass fanfiction creators to make the content you want the way it maybe does for those other, professional mediums, because those fanfictions creators don’t have any more power, or influence, than you do. You could easily also be a creator, just by deciding to be, and start changing the landscape of what kind of fic is out there. No one’s stopping you from creating what you want to see and putting it out there, and so you can’t blame anyone else if what you want to see isn’t there, or isn’t there as much, as you’d like (tho believe me, I feel that frustration at times as keenly as anyone).

Fanfiction, for so many reasons, just isn’t like other forms of media, and it doesn’t make sense to treat it like it is.      

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character flaws .

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😰 when my muse is stressed, how do they act out?

playing off how i previously mentioned his need to move, dol will also have a difficult time communicating verbally. he might hear what you’re saying or telling him but only process parts of it. his own sentences might come out a bit choppy, too, focusing on whatever he considers the most important message to send. 

rather than communicate verbally, he’ll start being much more expressive in his body language. his shoulders will get tight and tense, you might see his hair almost bristle, he’ll bare his teeth–posture will be squared and show subtle “defensive” signs (folded arms, angled away from you, either direct or complete lack of eye contact but nothing in between). 

also, if his pupils are fully dilated, that’s usually a prime indication that the dogs are fronting. he’ll be extremely difficult, if not impossible, to reason with in this state and it’s honestly best you just don’t approach or try interacting with him. thankfully, this doesn’t really happen all that much when dol’s just stressed out. something pretty severe or triggering is what will bring the dogs forward.

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the lost boys is so great because it’s just teens enjoying eternal life and partying and having a good time. it doesn’t really go into the complexities of taking life. these vampire characters are already established “living” beings trying to survive in the way they have to. what person wouldn’t want to not have responsibilities? or to spend the night doing all the things you dream of? or to fly? it’s sort of innocent in that way

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