#otherwise im so sorry friend

[ronnierosest]

Zakkura "So he never initiates, never asks, and waits." - inspired by a fanfiction we're friends, right? (very adult) by totosheadset

#zakkura #zoom in for deets and kanji on the hoodie o7 #wip but i deemed it alright for tumblr ♥ my wips are posted regularly on twitter #clack #Zack Fair #Cloud Strife #also shitposts i shitpost alot #casual intimacy #ok so hear me out because valk (the author of the fic) had to hear me out and im hilariously socially shy and dumb ok so im sorry valk if y #you are reading this here too- ly #Zack grabbing at Cloud's sweats in casual affection meanwhile Cloud itching to show affection but resorting to worry at/show love to his ow #n sweatshirt (he wants to he wants to #SCREAM AT ME IN TAGS I BEG YOU #the fanfic has amazing smut but valk >understands< the characters like HOLY SHIT please if you're an adult and enjoy smut #zack is a swimmer at midagar uni- its a fusion of canon and modern au #otherwise i bring you casual friends to smth more 'walking the line' experience of a demiromantic #ffvii #♥ #ffvii rebirth #ffvii remake #my art

[elegyofthemoon]

out of curiosity!

#love and deepspace #lnds #lads #UH #snowpolls #SORRY PEOPLE WHO FOLLOW ME IM JUST CURIOUS LMAO #i wouldve done this on the ramble blog but i thought #u know what? just commit. #so here we are jgjddjjsjs #from what ive seen loads of folks use the jp voices #i havent checked them out tbh fjdjdjs #im not super big on otome and am way too shy about playing otome games BUT IT IS MY BLOG SO WE ARE FIGHTING THE ANXIETY #as for me i switch the voices between eng and cn kdbdjdjs #its just whatever im feeling really i have no real reason #but tbh Just for zayne? id switch to cn bc i dont like his eng voice much jsndjsjs #but then again! i do not pay a lot of attention to zayne (SORRY IM TRYING TO GIVE HIM A CHANCE but alas.... too fixated) #btw does anyone have ideas about who the eng vas are? #i get antsy searching bc most folks are like 'hrmmm it feels like ai' #tHAT SCARES ME my god i hope not otherwise id drop it orz or ig switch to cn who knows #alsoooo~ lets be friends!! #im kinda new to lads but id love to talk to other folks about the game ^7^)/

[torchiiko]

idk how to characterize bigshot spamton bc i feel like it entirely depends on how long his era of fame lasted & at what point in that timeline hes in depending on the length These are personal ramblings Btw

based on his current behavior i would say its definitely not too farfetched for the fame to go to his head & for him to start acting like a stereotypical self absorbed entitled celebrity. at the same time, going from a little nobody who could barely do his job to what very well couldve been an overnight sensation cant be easy to adjust to right away & he probably had some culture shock

i can also imagine his early days were exceptionally stressful with suddenly being booked for tons of advertisements, publicity events, sponsorships, & so on. i can almost see him being exhausted after the first few weeks, catching himself thinking maybe being a big shot isnt quite the easy life he thought itd be, maybe he even starts to regret it before convincing himself no, this is what hes been working toward all this time, he just has to power thru. he earned this, didnt he?

he sounds like hes always been somewhat confident & self assured based on how the addisons talked abt him "running his mouth" but i dont think he wouldve turned into that arrogant celebrity stereotype too quickly. he wouldve had to have been famous for Years to rlly settle into that kind of personality & im not sure of the generally agreed upon timeline, but part of me thinks he wasnt a big shot for very long at all

thematically itd make sense if his moment in the spotlight was shortlived, less than like 3 years or so, due to the nature of internet trends always coming & going. the next big thing everyones talking abt is forgotten shortly after, & then theres another new thing for everyone to look at, & so on. spamton apparently lost his fame as suddenly as he gained it so itd make more sense to me if his bigshot era was overall pretty short. while a few years is certainly enough time for a person to change, in a scenario like this youre likely to stay true to your roots for a while even if you have to put on a persona for the public. humble beginnings & such

my point is. you dont suddenly become famous without needing time to adjust. you dont become a huge jerk unless youve had plenty of time to let fame get to your head & get comfortable with the idea your success isnt going anywhere anytime soon. both of these bigshot spamton interpretations coexist in my head bc im dumby & idk the timeline so its like shrodingers bigshot spamton

#im on the verge of bedtime so im sorry if im not making sense or forgetting Lore #this is just smth i thinka bt. arrogant bshot spam isnt Wrong i just cant decide if he exists in my version of spamtons life yet #i think him losing his friends wasnt out of malice but moreso them projecting & possibly being jealous that he had way less free time #otherwise they probablt woulda been a lot more bitter in their post neo dialogue even if they did still care abt him #torch chatter #nerd time #spamton #ramble

[five-hour-anxiety]

hello, it's me, back on my soapbox, reminding you to get every piece of media you can in a physical form.

what do I mean by this? I mean buying CDs, DVDs, box sets, physical books, and whatever other things I'm missing here. You cannot rely on streaming or online copies of things, you just can't.

and yes, I understand you may not be able to afford something - physical media is expensive and I'm not asking you to break the bank!

I am asking you, however, to do what you can - you can burn your own CDs or DVDs, you can get a library card or visit used book stores. You can download music and movies and books onto a physical USB drive so it's can't be deleted by anyone but you! It's so important that you realize that you do not actually own anything you stream or access exclusively online. you are paying for a license to borrow that stuff, not actually own and use it again and again.

and if you can afford to buy things, you should! especially if the work comes from a smaller group or artist - they get paid more for those purchases than they do by streaming groups.

you do not own anything you "buy" online - and if you can't buy it (either financially or because the corporation behind it has refused to sell it), then pirate it.

#spotify #streaming #netflix #listen if it helps you #its also such a cool aesthetic to have a bunch of CDs in your car for people to flip through on road trips #my friends have fun arguments about what mixtape or album we're putting on to even go grocery shopping #its fun to crack open a DVD case and not have to worry about shitty streaming quality! #ITS FUN AND PRACTICAL AND IM SO SORRY CAPITALISM CONVINCED YOU OTHERWISE

[parkercore-69]

when the unhealthy homoromantic friendship got yu that bad your therapist had to treat your separation like a bereavement and is teaching you coping mechanisms for grief

#dawgs dont get into situationships with your closest friend you’ve ever had it dont end well #LMAO #i have to laugh otherwise i might completely break down #LMFAO #(im afraid i’ll never find someone who will love me unconditionally because im too much to handle) #HAHA WHAT PARKER’S GETTING EMOTIONAL ON MAIN?? #(im afraid that i’m not only unlovable but also that i will inevitably ruin any relationship i form) #WHAT THE FUUUUCKKK #THIS IS SO CRINGE #(i’m completely delusional and the more i keep repressing this shit the further i regress into my head) #WOOOAH GET A GRIP DUDE???? #(i can’t cope with this type of stuff) #parker spews his troubles connecting emotionally and romantically and platonically and just generically with people #sorry guys i am cringe feel free to ignore this

[nagdabbit]

Sorry for making a deep dish mess in your inbox. I hope you have a nice fun week and feel less tired by the weekend. You're pretty awesome.

unless you sent like ten asks about punk the other night, it wasn't just you, but thank you all the same. 💜

but full disclosure, it is exhausting to get asks on a subject i simply don't engage with. even a hey, did you know can be exhausting when it comes out of nowhere about something im not actively talking about.

i love to info dump and talk about things, and i love when people want to info dump at me. but there has to be some level of "hey, you got the brain space?" because ive been pretty open that, right now, i really, really don't. depression is kicking my ass and im hurtling toward burnout, to the point where im barely engaging with the wrestling i do watch, let alone paying any mind to what i don't.

i love you all, and im very happy that anyone ever wants to talk to me about literally anything, but please can we start just like. asking if it's a good time, please? like, as a community? just a simple, hey, can i tell you about would be appreciated, especially when it's not part of a conversation that im already actively having or posting about.

sorry if this was wildly cunty, it's early and i haven't put on my human filter yet and i didn't mean for it to be

#asks! #sorry to be a whole bitch #but in am just so tired #my own special interest are becoming a chore #i am distressingly open about a lot of things including my dogshit brain #so im gonna be open about this too #i dont have the brain for much of anything rn #and i just simply cant muscle through and pretend otherwise #even for the sake of friends #and im being open about that so no one relies on me for more than i can give here for a bit #kay? kay

[spacecrows]

hello fellow 'oh this food isn't supposed to be spicy/tingly/numbing?!?' people!!!

#somehow it never occured to me to stop eating fresh pineapple or celery??????? #(edit: i was informed pineapple is supposed to do that! i'm sorry for doubting you my tingly friend!! unproblematic fave) #i was just happily snacking on some celery #welcoming my old friend the comforting tongue numbness #and suddenly. i was like wait. is this bad????????? #i think its probably fine right???? #dont want to look this up though #so tumblr poll it is #if this poll doesnt reach the tingly mouth community i will take it as a sign to keep eating my celery #i think #also this is really just about mild allergies okay!! im so so sorry to all of you who have severe allergies :( that sucks #but i just assume you guys are not eating the bad foods???? #(i cant have too many tomatoes or oranges otherwise i get bad rashes and i do avoid those #wouldnt count them as a weird mild allergy although its not super severe either #i guess the cut off is really the 'oh i've been eating this all my life i DIDNT KNOW!!!!!!' realization???) #anyways. uhhhhh #poll

[dirt-str1der]

just wanna say im obsessed with your mind and i read your posts about kiryu like the morning paper. thank you for your service

(Sweats) e-even the ones about him laying eggs ?

#Thanks for the ask ! #HIIIIII thank you for reading my posts im really a serial rambler so that is no easy feat. i just had a lowkey nightmare that was insect #based so its nice to think about different kinds of eggs once in a while. sorry for the eggs i just learned the word gravid and i cant stop #saying it !!! i literally opened tumblr to make another post about kiryu i was gonna say he was probably antisocial in his childhood which #is really a miracle any girls managed to notice him at all. and i believe that he was very dismissive of his clothing and appearance because #you know when youre young and trans and havent realised it but you just randomly hate everything about your appearance and dont even knowwhy #i think his hair was always too long and too shaggy and he would let nishiki comb it sometimes because he really could not stand his mane #and sometimes when it gets wayy too long and shitty the sunflower caretaker would drag him outside and just cut a chunk of it off with a #knife and kiryu would have shoulder length hair for a little while... anyway i need to give him a little girlfriend like how rikiya had one #when he was in school because all trans guys need a little girlfriend or an all girl group of friends to be his girlfriends when hes a kid #so he can carry their shopping bags and wait for them outside the changing room etc and kiryu cant resist a girl so he gets a letter from #nishiki and he tells him yeah this is probably a prank to have you wait there for hours or there might be guys waiting to ambush you and #beat the crap out of you. and kiryus like Nobody beats the crap out of me except our dad. and goes to meet this girl and he actually agrees #to go out with her and this is the thing that keeps him in school because otherwise he would literally not go. like hed walk with yumi and #nishiki and the rest of the kids at sunflower that he doesnt care about to remember the names of. and he would just wave them off at the #gate and wander the town in his school uniform and then after school he’ll meet nishiki and possibly yumi at the gate (yumi probably makes #other friends but its a Must to walk nishiki home because he’ll get lonely) and when kiryu starts going out with this girl hes obligated to #walk her home so he already broke rule one but nishikis like happy for him But he has to walk home with some other random guys now and #eventually theyll broach the topic of ‘his psycho sister’ and nishiki literally has to beat a few guys up to defend kiryus honour and when #he comes back with news of how unpopular kiryu is with the rest of the guys because he looks better with short hair than they do and has a #girlfriend whos super cute. kiryu is just like damn did you commit social suicide to protect my honour? youre my best friend. but whatever #kids get over it fast. but parents dont!! and kiryu walks his girlfriend right to her front door and soon enough her parents are going to #find out that the boyfriend she keeps gushing about is a girl and straight up take her out of school to make her stop being gay and kiryus #like but ... im a boy ... punches the ground and screams to the sky. anyway enough about dysphoria simulator im here to talk about this guy #when hes a bit older because im salivating and shaking over the thought of his bootyass rip kiryu you woulda loved thongs. i think hed hate #ripped jeans but only because he thinks theyre a waste of manufacturing. its literally better for the world that kiryu decided 2 transition #because can you imagine if she was a girl and needed to wear a bra? like she would literally have an itchy back all the time which would #give her a hair trigger temper which means kamurocho a&e room will be very healthily plush indeed. god my battery is dying i need to take a #shower noww anyway really thank you for the nice message you are so sweet ... hi ...

[risingsunresistance]

wow i lost followers FAST, was it for being a deo enjoyer or because i changed my url

#''i wanna check one more thing before i go to bed'' *clicks blog tab* ''wait HOW MANY???'' #jhdkjfjd #doing what makes me happy instead of continuing to let myself be sad for the sake of keeping my tumblr friends pleased #screw that i talk about mcyt on my own terms now. otherwise it's just hypixel and whatever else i feel like yelling about 👍 #which i have said. SO MANY TIMES. but the url change really makes it ya know #i feel better about it #and i guess ppl are finally taking a hint. i am being serious when i say i'm not posting abt techno as much nowadays #it's too hard sorry idk what else to tell you ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ #go find someone who can deal with it better. im still halfway stuck in denial *]=+%*=]*]*{= #chat #goodnight again o/

[crushpunchh]

nothing serious just thoughts about a DR au that i got embarrassed about putting up here <3

#thinking about my DR au #sorta a swap au in the sense that people are in different roles but like its not a 1:1 swap situation #also theres some insanely detailed subplot with spamton who isnt even very important. might make the roles less defined because its actuall #absurd. #anyway. what im thinking about is specifically the snowgrave equivalent #and how Absolutely Hilarious it would be if after a genocide chapter 1 ralsei just called up lancer like IF I TELL YOU TO DO ANYTHING WEIRD #TOMORROW. DONT LISTEN TO ME. PLEASE? #and then in ch2 lancer basically went LOL no. im not doing that. and theres just no snowgrave because ralsei thought Oh God Oh Fuck #What If Other People Get Involved In This Too. #lancer voice ohhhhh ! nope :> #Only way to do snowgrave is if you did pacifist ch1. Otherwise Lancer will simply go ? no. and then tell susie ralsei might need to go to #the vet when they run into her because he is a little bit more bloodthirsty than usual. #crush.zip #crush.txt #love this au dearly. ralsei is hysterically funny in how he reacts to the possession situation #hes like okay i guess this was divinely ordained ! um ! please dont involve my friends in it though ! #Literally i think if you play ch1 pacifist all he does after taking the soul out is make something to eat because he hasnt eaten all day LO #neutral/genocide ch1 though. like anything that in canon wouldve had the revolution not work. #then he calls up lancer like HI I THINK SOMETHING IS WRONG WITH ME. IF I SAY ANYTHING WEIRD TMRW DONT LISTEN TO ME PLEASE ? PLEASE? #PASS ON THE MESSAGE TO SUSIE. THANK YOU. NOW I HAVENT EATEN ALL DAY SO IM GOING TO GO MAKE SOMETHING. SORRY FOR WAKING YOU UP. GOODNIGHT. #figure maybe in a hypothetical game situation youd be able to check his phone and see he called lancer at like 3 in the morning #no further context unless you try snowgrave. #im not settled on whether lancer WOULD actually just straight up go 'no lol' if you played ch1 like that #like i think the first few snowgrave specific scenes hed be way less down for but maybe it would still be possible? harder but stillpossibl #idk. i do think it would be very funny if you just straight up couldnt do snowgrave without playing ch1 pacifist though. #none of that 'worst possible genocide route' shit you HAVE to play ch1 pacifist or lancer will go Yeah no not happening ! :> #it would be funny but probably not actually good like from a gameplay perspective. #so no maybe. #I think definitely if ch1 was neutral/genocide there would be a lot more chances to back out though.

[seilon]

the happiest ive been in any singular moment in probably over a year was a moment last week where my friends and i were driving to a campsite having accidentally taken a tiny insanely long and winding mountain road to get there, somehow i wasn’t carsick, the windows were rolled down, we were surrounded by nothing but woods for miles, and livin la vida loca was playing on the car stereo

#had a moment of like hm! I sure am glad im not in fucking socal right now slaving over art school shit alone and miserable! #yeah #idk it was a stupid little moment of time but it felt Right #this was a super last moment camping trip too so even more so of that feeling of like. maybe reasons to live can really appear of of the #blue sometimes. that you’d just otherwise never see comi #*coming #I just got really lucky. stars aligned or something #the random text from my friend going like ‘sorry can’t hang out cause im going camping with my dad. unless you guys wanna go camping’ #the weather being unusually cool for the time of year and thus really nice in the mountains during the day. pretty much perfect in my #opinion. #the stupid little road we took on accident that we didn’t need to take (there was another one going to the same place that was way simpler #and straighter and not nearly as winding and dangerous and whatnot) #fuckin. livin la vida loca. which was mostly only playing because we didn’t have cell service that far into the sierras so we were just #listening to whatever my friend happened to have downloaded on her phone #just. yeah. a lot of weird shit that lined up. in a good way #im glad nothing went wrong or anything cause it was so last moment #and I hope this lets me feel okay about being alive for at least a while longer #kibumblabs

[gianfraola]

Started to realise that where you were born doesn't make it home. Started to realise that I really don't want to live in this place and never come back. Started to realise I don't care who I'll leave behind and who will miss me. Started to realise I want to be selfish and stop listening to others. Started to realise this post was a waste of time

:p

#im tired #im done #i just want to leave #right now #make something #be something #stop listening to fucking people problems guess they be saying their whole fucking story life #and im just there having to listening cuz otherwise im not a good person #im not a good friend #a good sister #a good daughter #a good teen #not an example #if i answer back they say i have a fucking attitude #well excuse you im so sorry for speaking up for fucking once #i cant do this #i desperately need to leave #why need therapy when i can just go away #im venting too much #lmao #im prolly will delete this

[queenangella]

.

#putting this in the tags bc I need to get this out but also feel kinda guilty about it so I don’t wanna scream it in a post #but I feel soo irrationally pissed at my friend #bc she’s one of my best friends and I love her but I haven’t heard from her all summer except for the like four times she answered my #messages only to immediately ask me something in return #it took her two weeks to reply to a meme I send her only to immediately follow up with ‘het remember how you said your parents wanted to #hire my band’ #‘ahaha summer is so busy I’ve read all my books anyway you told me I could borrow this one book?’ #last was ‘heyy sorry for not replying haha anyway im bored next week wanna go on a trip’ #to which I replied ‘yeah I would love to but I have my internship starting next week remember’ #and its like I don’t mind that she doesn’t answer my texts like god knows I hate texting #but its really starting to feel like our relationship is fully based on her needing me for something #which I have felt before but I kinda dismissed it as me thinking it was always me who had to take initiative which was disproved when she #asked me to meet up a few times but thinking back it was always like ‘hey let’s meet up for coffee’ and then when I arrive having literally #left the library where I’d been studying for only ten minutes bc otherwise i wouldn’t see her. #she’s like ‘oh I don’t want coffee anymore but I need to go to the supermarket wanna join me?’ #which I always did bc I wanna spend time together and it’s cheaper for me than getting overpriced coffee but!!!! #anyway I’m feeling this now bc while she hadn’t answered my ‘sorry can’t go on a trip’ text I did just see that she’s currently in portugal #with another friend #which is like??? so she just found someone else to relieve her of her boredom and so she didn’t need me anymore so why answer me right?? #anyway it’s probably not that bad and I will talk to her about it when I see her again which will probably be in a month I guess but for now #I don’t wanna ruin her trip