#our word is the other one i mentioned where it directly relates to the terms ‘she’ being used in different ways

[adamworu]

Hi, what do you think of the Anime!Kaworu (not manga or Rebuild) analysis called 'Kaworu Nagisa, Ángel del amor y el libre albedrío. Diseccionando a los Ángeles (última parte)' by MistralChronicles?, has English subtitles.

I finally gave it a look after being inundated with life stuff (forgive me for taking long on this) and wow! If you're a Kaworu fan looking for some really indepth analysis your cup will truly runneth over on this one.

Let me start by saying that this lengthy analysis works because it doesn't go deep into his characterization under the assumption that the viewer already knows. It's all conveniently wrapped in one video. For those that already do know, this video acts as an excellent refresher, given how expansive Evangelion's lore is.

(warning for abuse mention)

The first thing that stands out to me in this 2 hour analysis, aside from thoroughly research on Eva's production history is the noted rearranging of Kaworu's surname as Shisha. Shisha means messenger (You'll notice the term Saigo Shisha to refer to the angels in Eva) while also pertaining to death.

This also works well with MOVIC's assigning of Kaworu to the Death Tarot Card.

One door closes and another opens. Kaworu dies and he understands that he is the Last Messenger. In so doing, he ensures humanity's welfare in the process.

I love loved that MC (I'll be abbreviated Mistral Chronicles as MC in this analysis) talked of Draftworu and the scars. I wouldn't call those suicide attempts but I would call those self-harm. That's not to say that Draft iteration Kaworu didn't hold ideas relating to suicide.

MC notes that Kaworu and Shinji's excellent chemistry. Kaworu is more bright and outgoing whereas Shinji is more neutral. This manifests in their shirts: orange and blue, respectively, because they compliment each other.

I think my one pet peeve (even less, actually, just something pointed out) through this analysis however is that Kaworu is directly called Adam. Kaworu's existence as Adam is by proxy. Meaning that because Adam's soul is within him, he's Adam that way rather than being some physical iteration.

Kaworu was meant to be so good that his nature alone would be enough to give Shinji an inferiority complex. MC makes the excellent point that because Kaworu's appearance had to be truncated to one episode, we only ever see not the complex, but rather Shinji's idealization of Kaworu.

I think about this fact a lot. How, even though Kaworu accepts Shinji for who he is, there's a pushback in parts of Eva communities that assumes bad faith on Kaworu's end. It drives me up a wall every so often due to exactly where the bad faith comes from. There's also a part of me that understands that total acceptance and unconditional love aren't impossible manifestations. Out there, there is someone who appreciates and is so in love with you in all ways. We're so used to being around people trying to change key aspects of us rather than trying to comprehend us at our very cores. It makes the words 'I love you' feel all the more surreal. Genuine, unrelenting love for who you are feels like a shock to the system.

(Also small sidebar before we move on: MC goes into how Kaworu can fenagle with Unit-02 despite the non-reconfigured soul. When she says 'he can control a body that is his own' she's referring to the fact that Kaworu, being an angel, is comprised of particle wave matter)

Kaworu has Shinji's support. Anywhere can be paradise. Shinji is his home.

MC points out something that often goes missed by some groups: Kaworu's existence is ultimately integral to Evangelion. Not just to Shinji. Kaworu's status as the Angel of Free Will is an ironic one of sorts. Other angels which preceded him desired to understand more of their lilin 'neighbors', so why then, is Kaworu aligned with such a moniker?

Kaworu's kindness, or his sacrifice to humanity, allowed them that free will. Another reading that I have alongside the aforementioned is that Kaworu's action shows the unsettlingly paradoxical nature of free will; that your freedom exists because someone allowed it for you.

The video also goes on to point out that Kaworu doesn't overstep boundaries (i.e. the bath scene). He thinks that Shinji wants to go with him out of the bath. He doesn't really pry. He's not fully attuned to Shinji's culture to understand why there'd be aversion with acts of sudden closeness. That's not to say that Shinji was grossed out by Kaworu (which he wasn't), but that Shinji's aversion comes from a place of fear from being hurt again.

Now onto Netflix's translation.

MC transitions into the Netflix translation and how it danced around 'It means I love you.' Debates about translation are sometimes had pertaining to this scene. You'll often see people argue about how in the Japanese version 'koui/koi' is purely platonic in nature. Given the actual context with the scene as well as the symbolisms that carry later in in End of Evangelion, this is of course far from the truth. The word is a pun which is doesn't carry well outside the language. The words 'koi' and 'suki' are indeed romantic, and EOE doesn't stand as the only example. The drafts debunk any perception of Kaworu and Shinji's relationship being that of 'just friends.' MC also adds more: that Anno gave the drafts to someone who was versed in writing boys love.

The erasure in the translations was justified via 'Evangelion is an ambiguous work.' Correction: Evangelion's moral to the viewer is ambiguous. The characters have been talked about in supplementary material. That isn't ambiguous.

This snippet here also debunks the platonic angle. When the characters are shown top-down in bed in certain parts of the series, there's some adversity or lack of communication. Shinji thinks of Asuka as only a child (something about glass houses and throwing stones). Asuka did share the sheets with Hikari, though faced away because she felt too vulnerable. But Shinji and Kaworu? They're clicking so much that Shinji divulges to Kaworu about his life prior to the events of Eva. Kaworu offers to sleep on the floor rather than Shinji but Shinji prefers the floor. Shinji catches himself being vulnerable but never backpedals or fronts about his life. At that moment, he was vulnerable with the right person.

Kaworu's such a surreal character in the world of Evangelion because he doesn't really ask anything. He's kind, but far from perfect. But he feels almost immaculate because Evangelion's world comes across to many viewers as cynical. People are often cold and get away with proverbial murder. None of us can understand each other fully because our boundaries not only protect us, but impede us. Fear drives us to be alive but also stunt current relationships while condemning future ones.

The lake scene is brought up in the video analysis in that it makes little to no sense. It's just...weird to think about.

Kaworu's donor is brought up here, though I wouldn't go so far as to say that they 'gave a body.' During the Director's Cut of episode 21, it's stated that Kaworu's conception came about as a Contact Experiment. DNA 'dove' into the flesh of Adam, awakening them. It could have been anything.

Since we're talking of enigmatic lore of Eva, 'clone' is a sort of loose term here. Both of the 'cloned' individuals may have the slight features of their donors, but not by much. Their complexions are pale, nearly calling to mind someone with albinism. Why is it that both of these experiments end in these features?

Love that MC points this out.

Shinji's on the warpath with angels not because of his contempt, but he seeks validation. Then Kaworu comes along, gives him that validation without condition. There's no ulterior motive for his kindness. He loves Shinji for all his flaws.

Shinji's ire for Kaworu's reveal is a front. He's not angry at Kaworu for his status. His forced to fight between two sources of validation, those around him most or Kaworu. Shinji doesn't want to be forced with the troubling revelation that his fight against the angels isn't genuine. This is further reinforced in episode 25 in which he doubles down.

Kaworu explains the AT field, how integral it is to understanding others (and outside to the viewer, important to the plot). The deployment of boundaries can protect you but in the same vein hurt others. MC points out that Unit-02 stabbing 01 is metaphorical, and a clever subtlety at that. The progression knife is inserted in the left side of the Evangelion, where the heart is.

He utters 'Human hope is made from sorrow.' From despair, joy arises. Kaworu realizes that his merging with Adam (biological desire, not moral) would spell annihilation for the whole of mankind and its hopes. As the last of his kind, the onus lies on him to cause a freedom of one species to inherit Earth while the other perishes.

It's also why Ode to Joy is synonymous with Kaworu.

It is why he is the Angel of Free Will.

Take the AT Field's usage into consideration. It can be used to protect, hurt, overstep, or even temporarily shut oneself off from the pains of the world. These are used to navigate the circumstances around you, and this truth implicates the angels, given they're as complex as humanity.

Thus, the larger deployment of Kaworu's AT Field is made clear. Blood stains his hands, regardless of outcome.

On this end, humans do have AT Fields but lack the physiology to deploy them physically. The Fields are instead metaphorical. They exist as veneers of a person, avoidance of an issue, among other things.

Kaworu's designation as the first and last angel is pointed out. This not only goes for the series but also the Rebuilds as well and it works thematically. Kaworu's the 13th angel in Rebuilds and this is juxtaposed in FINAL with Unit 01 as well as 13. 01 in FINAL is considered Hope whereas 13 is considered Despair. Before Kaworu's 'demotion' he was hopeful in that he would be able to save the world without mass death on his head. When realizing he was set up when Shinji retrieves the spears in Rebuilds, he becomes the 13th. In the original this manifests as Kaworu feeling hopeful that he found someone who finally understood him. Someone whom he could love and laugh with. 'Human hope is made of sorrow.' has even more depth, when the above is considered added with Kaworu's empathetic nature. He understands the needs of man, because he feels this way too.

Kaworu feels hope when being around Shinji (Also makes 'I may have been born to meet you' more wholesome) but a sense of sorrow knowing his mission.

He becomes desperate, understanding that if man were to live, he'd need to die.

This is probably the only part I strongly disagree with. One of the biggest horrors of Evangelion is that people do take from others (and they often get away with murder). The cast heaps baggage on each other, or neglects them unless a situation comes in which benefits them. It's not a nihilist bent that Eva goes on, because it'd contradict that anywhere could be paradise. It highlights that humanity is ugly without going into a 'so get over it' angle. Eva highlights that realities are often ugly, but hardly defeatist or smugly pessimistic.

Kaworu's likened to Rei in their sad realities. He sets up to become something larger, but the reasons differ. Kaworu does humanity a kindness of his own accord. Rei? Becomes a mother figure simply because her whole existence of a man's unhealthy coping mechanisms. She is conditioned, start to finish to be a mother. Even though she understands more of her identity thanks to Kaworu, her tragedy is that she doesn't know how not to be anything maternal. Kaworu's kindness is his own and his tragedy derives in knowing the cycle but being a slave to it. His ultimate tragedy is that, for how powerful he is, he's still susceptible to unhealthy cycles, forced to play out that role until it is broken.

It's pointed out that Shinji's depressive spiral goes deeper with Kaworu's death and not just because of the event itself. 'Death is the only freedom.' are chilling words from a boy who could not control his existence but could control his death. This makes the likening of Kaworu to Shinji all the more tragic. Much of Shinji's life was rife with neglect up until this point. Then he had to get rid of a genuine source of validation.

The love of Kaworu and Shinji is mutual. MC dives into misconceptions of how Kaworu and Shinji's relationship is platonic because it lacks the suggestive closeups of Misato, Rei, and Asuka (it's own can of worms). EOE debunks the platonic bent as well the Rebuilds with the numerous references. There's even a heart shaped tree where Shinji and Kaworu play Quatre Mains!

Anno even states Kaworu as an idealized other.

Kaworu's proxy status as a father and mother is noted. While Anno uses chichi (father) as a designation for Adam, Kaworu uses hahataru sonzai for Our Mother. This explains why Kaworu stands as judge over Gendo alongside Rei and Yui. This latter of the designations makes sense, given Adam's status as the progenitor for angels.

Kaworu's status as integral to the plot of Eva is especially solidified during Instrumentality. Rei and Kaworu represent the desire to understand the world around and unconditional love, respectively. He, along with Rei, teaches Shinji that if he were to come back physically, AT Fields would exist once more. Pain would exist. People would not know each other fully. And Shinji allows that for mankind, even after knowing this revelation.'

People like Rei and Kaworu can exist, however. But in our lives, our sometimes unforgiving realities, people like that are rare. There are people that love you for being you. There are people that want to comprehend the complexities the world hands us. I hope that one day, you find both.

That we all find both. That too, is why anywhere can be paradise as long as you have that will to live.

All in all, I loved MC's meticulous dissection of Kaworu's character. It's a welcome addition and it was easy to follow along through all of it. I recommend watching it for anyone reading this who has the time. It's some of the most indepth Kaworu analysis i'd seen in the years I'd been in this fandom and I thank MC for the write-up. And I thank you, anon, for redirecting me to this video dissertation.

#neon genesis evangelion #kaworu #kawoshin #shinji ikari #correct me if i'm wrong #abuse mention

[ed-recovery-affirmations]

I did a scary thing today.

I’m a medical student. My school is a little more progressive. We had a lecture today on anti-fat bias, but it never got to the lecture point. Instead, it became a conversation where a lot of people were confused about how we can create inclusivity while still providing best care. Some people were genuinely interested. Other people seemed to miss the point entirely and held onto this belief that fat = bad (always) and that it’s their duty to tell their patients that fat = bad.

I had atypical anorexia from the time I was 13 until I was 25. I recovered into a fat body (this is my preferred term). Listening to students argue and miss the big picture was triggering and infuriating. I held my hand up and put it down many times until finally the lecturer called on me even tho my hand was down. So I decided to speak up.

I told the entire class- including people I don’t feel very safe with at all- about my history. About how horrifically sick I was despite my “healthy” weight. How I wasn’t believed. How I could access treatment. And how the big take away is that weight isn’t something directly in our control- and it’s not helpful to focus on it. Sure, our behaviors may influence our weight, but so much of weight maintenance is not within our complete control. We can’t check off the box each day “weigh ___ lbs.” I tried when I was thin. I’ve tried post-recovery and have relapsed into behaviors more times I care to admit. Focusing on weight kept me sick. It kept me engaging in some of the worst behaviors (I won’t mention them here because they may be triggering to read about). Why put the focus on weight when you can shift the focus to health related behavior, like encouraging sustainable, accessible movement can reduce health risks dramatically? Encouraging eating more vegetables and fruits and fiber (rather than “fewer calories”)?

I completely dissociated while talking. I am open about my past eating disorder in the sense that I don’t hide it. I wrote about it in my application essays. I will answer any questions people have and share my experience in hopes it helps somebody at some point down the line. But I have never stood in front of so many people, some who hold biases about what an eating disorder looks like or what my health and value must be because of my body, and actually spoken the words “I had a 12 year history of atypical anorexia.”

I feel more vulnerable than I want to feel, but I’m glad I did it. Some people will roll their eyes and ignore that life altering restrictive eating disorder can and do happen in people with larger bodies, and that primarily weight focused medical care harms more patients than it’ll help. But if it helps just one person start to think- maybe this is something to consider, maybe I should be mindful of eating disorders and disordered eating in ALL body shapes and sizes… then the dissociation and tears and possible bias and stigma from a few confused people is worth it to me.

Thank you for letting me share 💜

Thank you for sharing :) that is a scary thing, and you were so brave for being so open and persistent. I hope you know how valuable it is to introduce the basic challenging of others' worldview in that learning environment, and you are so right that if you changed the views of even one person, then it was worth it to share, because that one person may go on to do a world of good in their own practice where there might have been harm.

It is so hard to stand up for yourself when the whole world disagrees with you. I am in immense admiration of your courage and hope you took good care of yourself after that class, anon.

#fatphobia #medical fatphobia #haes #ed recovery #body posi #fat posi #atypical ana

[guerrerajaguar]

My Devoted Husbands ( Fem!Reader) Chapter 3: What should I do now?

Warnings: Slight angst, mentions of polyamory, reverse harem.

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Head Canons

As soon as Kyojuro left, you immediately changed into your kendo practice outfit, grabbed a couple of bokken and went to look for your dad. As he saw you storming in, he instinctively hid behind your mom using her as a human shield. Your mother graciously slid to the side allowing you to throw one of the bokken directly to his hand.

-“Ah darling, I am so glad that you reached us here; your mother and I were just talking about Kyojuro and we just feel like…” He said desperately looking at your mom but obtaining no support from her.

-“We will decide this, right now. We will have a 3 set kendo match, if you win I will let Kyojuro know about our family legacy and I will allow you to freely speak to him about your crazy marriage ideas. But… “. Your stance was fierce and full of determination -“If I win, you will never mention anything related to the corp and will drop the circus about marriage until I decide the time is right. Deal?”-

You father was really taken aback, they both were in the middle of a very exciting conversation where he described to your mom how fast you moved in the living room and that he was completely sure that you had already surpassed him. But even after that, he stared at you solemnly standing up from his seat.

-“Y/N, sweetie, weren’t you training today with Sanemi-kun? Genya-kun will be disappointed if you did not make it.” He said sweetly, trying to convince you to drop off the subject.

-“Oh, the boys can manage without me. They are actually rooting for my victory.” Your voice was calm but defiant and as your father knew you were not going to step down from your challenge, he finally agreed.

 -“Very well, so be it. And might we keep our promises then, independently of the match result”.

-“I do trust that you will keep your word, because if you don’t, I will never speak to you back again. And you can bet I am dead serious” . Your gaze was fixed on his, with fiery resolution. If you were going to date Kyojuro, you would do it properly and on your own terms. 

You two walked down to the center of your garden, your mom would play as referee since she used to be a very skilled demon slayer. Your brother joined to witness what he believed would be your dad's defeat. Just by staring at you he knew you were already skillful enough to win over a kendo match, it was just a matter of time.

-“Whoever wins 2 sets out of 3 will be the winner of the match”- your mom said as she placed herself in the middle of you both “As for kendo goes, a direct contact will count as a point.” You and your dad were fixedly staring at each other, your bokken up in a guard stance, a dead silence reigned at the battleground and so your mother said with clear voice:

-”Start!”.

Almost immediately after that, you felt a very strong impact in your stomach that propelled you to the far back of the backyard, finding yourself in the need to kneel down to stop yourself from hitting against the wall.

-”Point!”. Your mother exclaimed as you looked at your dad still kneeling on the floor. He had that fiery gaze that confirmed his high ranking at the slayers corp. You were gasping for air but tried to dissimulate, that strike had been really precise and painful.

-”If you have any intention of winning, you need to start taking me seriously, Y/N. I might be your father but I am still The Water Pillar and if you ever intend to claim this rank, better start acting as the Tsugoku you are and drop your childish ideas.”

He was right, you have been so angry about what just happened with Kyojuro that you totally forgot who you were about to fight, it wasn’t an UNO match against your daddy; it was a kendo match with the Water Pillar. 

For an instant you felt a bit insecure, unsure if you could attain victory, but then it hit you. Even if you did not say it out loud you knew that your honor and worth as swordswoman were at stake. Because, how could you talk so big if you weren’t able to back your words with true strength? That was the challenge you threw at him by asking for a kendo match. You probably could have thrown a tantrum, asked your mother to intervene or given him the silent treatment for a couple of days to make him stop all his babbling related to Kyojuro. But no, you were so sure that your sword skills were superior to his, that you threw that challenge completely secure about your victory.

It wasn’t about boyfriend or marriage anymore, it was about if you were already strong enough to officially surpass your father and become the next Water Pillar. It was about if you could keep the family legacy with dignity. You were sure that by then, he would start respecting your decisions more and will stop making ridiculous comments about your personal life.

You honestly loved being in the corps, the training sessions, the knowledge your father passed to you and why not; you loved how damn good of a slayer you were. So yes, you would show him how strong your will to protect humans from the demon menace was and how proud you were to call yourself a Demon Slayer.

And you will, definitely, win.

As all doubts started to dissipate, you stood up with your gaze fixed on the messy ground, steadily breathing and as you sheathed your bokken to your belt, you said to your opponent:

-”Now I am ready, father.” You patiently  waited for your mother to call the beginning of the next set.

-”Start!” It was like your body moved by itself, you quickly positioned yourself at your dad’s back.

-”Water breathing, second form: water wheel!” Your rival was merely able to dodge it, he counterattacked, but you were faster blocking his front strike and so you continued:

-”Water breathing, fourth form; striking tide…” Now your father started to defend himself from a series of speedily impacts as you quickly changed your direction with a back somersault, you yelled “ Water breathing, sixth form: Whirlpool!!!”

-”Point!” Your mother briskly said as your bokken slightly impacted your dad’s shoulder. You are now even, 1 to 1, the next set will decide everything. You were pretty sure that your father was enjoying the match as much as you and you were also sure that the hardest part of the tussle was about to start. None of you said a word and so your mother proceeded to yell with excitement:

-”Start!” None of you two were to be seen at any place, as you both bet on speed for achieving victory. Only a high level swordsman could follow your now inhuman encounter, your brother was the only one having trouble keeping up compared to your mother, who was completely focused on identifying the match winner as her eyes quickly scanned the entire scene.

Your father’s strikes were faster, stronger and more precise compared to the beginning of the match; you felt like your bokken could break at any moment. You needed to use your entire body to dodge his strikes since getting a broken weapon will translate into an automatic loss.

While your foothold kept changing constantly you decided to start building momentum for a final strike, you were tired and were sure that if you did not finish it with all you had left, you would probably lose. You started your attack by briefly changing direction to totally impulse yourself on your garden wall, as you were total concentration breathing, your strong step cracked the wall as you propelled yourself forward against your father, this was it:

-”Water breathing, ninth form: Splashing Water Flow, Flash!”. It happened in an instant, a thunderous sound announced that one of the bokken had broken and after all the dust had settle; there was an obvious winner. You and your father were standing, staring in opposite directions, with your bokken slightly touching the back of his neck and your dad’s half bokken on the floor .

-”Point and match! Your mother happily yelled as you dropped to the floor, completely exhausted. Your father was showing you a big smile when he offered his hand to help you get up.

-”Do not ever doubt yourself again, your strength and skill now pairs with a pillar, live your life with honor as you have always had.” The feelings that those words carried were so powerful to you, that you had tears at the brink of your eyes. Just as in the beginning of the match, your body moved by itself, warmly giving into your father’s embrace, this was the moment you have been waiting for almost all your life since you unsheathed your first katana. You have finally deemed yourself worthy of your last name.

Well this was not it, at least not yet. You still needed to receive Lord Kagaya’s blessing and successfully complete your first mission as the lead of high-ranked Demon Slayer squad. But this was indeed the beginning of the rest of your life. Time flew so fast while your Dad merrily recreated your final strike with your brother’s help, that you did not notice it until your phone vibed violently with a sort of extremely enthusiastic texts:

From: Nemi

[Wth Y/N? U left me hanging by myself with the little shit.]

You couldn’t help but to giggle, you can’t remember how many times you have asked Sanemi to not call Genya those, in your opinion, bad taste nicknames but your friend was just like that. As you start writing back to him you realized how late it was and that you were not going to make it to your date with Giyuu.

From: You

[I finally broke my old man’s bokken, TTYL, got a date. ]

The time it took you to get ready was barely human, you showered, put some clothes and perfume on, grabbed your purse and you were already sprinting to the recently opened tea house. You thought that being a demon in slayer was not always that bad, as it came along with some physical perks. Being late was a usual with you and a good thing was that Giyuu never seemed to care about it.

It was not hard to spot your friend, peaceful sitting in a two-person table, scrolling through his phone, with a chilly glass of water at his side. The waitresses noticed you immediately as you made your way to your seat. Your black haired companion stood up as soon as he saw you walking in, he was slightly taller than you, he had was wearing a stretchy white blouse and denim jeans, his hair was a bit messier than usual, but still styled into a low pony tail.

“You look terrible.” - said your friend in a very serious tone.

“Thank you! I missed you too…- you said with a sarcastic tone while you removed your jacket and sat down, picking up the menu and calling in the waitress.

“…and you still wonder why you don’t have a girlfriend.” - You concluded raising a eyebrow and giving him a small side smile.

“I did not meant any harm with that… I am actually concerned. I think you sometimes take your training too seriously.” - He spoke as he ordered his and your drink. He’d know you for so long that he did not needed to ask about your choice. The waitress nodded and quickly removed herself from the table. It was actually nice the way you both got treated by the waitresses every time you and Giyuu hanged out, you assumed that it was because your friend was considerably handsome and that you both had always gave out the “best friends” vibe.

“… And I have not ever complained, not even once, for not having a girlfriend”.- You rolled your eyes with a wide smile.

“Then, you should learn how to properly speak to lady if you ever wanna change that.” - you concluded as you took the first sip from your drink. It was absolutely blissful, the floral scent flooded your nose, warmness embracing your insides, instantly relaxing every aching muscle of your body.

“I will take your advice, thank you”.- He sipped from his drink, and you were not sure if he enjoyed the tea as much you did, in fact it was always very hard to read your friend’s mind. Actually now that you had come to think about it, the way you two bonded was kind of peculiar.

You and his sister, Tsukako, became good friends during high school and even though you had knew him since then, you and Giyuu did not became friends until you both got into college together, in the same bachelor degree. A lot had changed since those times, but certainly not his lack of expressions, and you could not help but to compare him with Kyojuro and how much of an open book was your new blond boyfriend.

BOYFRIEND! Yes, these were happy news that you definitely wanted to disclose with one of your closest friends. The thought of Daki not being the first one to know gave you chills, but out of sight, out of mind right?

“So, you are never gonna guess what happened to me today.”- you took another sip. -“I was at this pizza place and I chose to start choking at the worst time possibly…” - Your friend interrupted you.

“Y/N, I need to tell you something…- his face was serious, nothing out of the normal, but was not the type of guy to ever interrupt you, so he left you out of words.

“I-I… Well that’s… ok sure. Is everything alright?”- you sipped again, glancing at him with the lower corner of your eye, with consternation.

“I like you and I want you to go out with me.”- Luckily for you, the tea was in the right place at the right time, otherwise your recently confessed lover would had a dripping wet face by then.

That phrase keep floating around your head, you blinked with confusion, did you heard that right? Probably not, so you sipped again while you cleared your throat.

“You, err, like me? You like me, exactly in which type of way?.- you asked, while repeating to yourself: “Please do not say it, please let it be a misunderstanding, please, not today.”

“In a romantic way, the way a man feels attracted to a woman.” - he sipped and cleared his fine lips with a neatly folded paper napkin. You rested your chin on the palm of your hand, using your fingers to cover your mouth, frowning with concern, unable to speak. This had to be a horrible coincidence, it was just some nights ago that you had dismissed your dad’s ranting about your friends having romantic feelings for you and here you were; A new boyfriend, the broken bokken of your father and another love confession.

Could this day get any crazier?

It was not the fact that you could not like Giyuu, he was indeed a great guy and you enjoyed being around him. Having your blue-eyed companion as a boyfriend was not an idea that you disliked but the problem was that you were dating someone else by now. How were you supposed to gracefully reject a friend and not hurt his feelings? You were not even sure if you were ready to be in a relationship with Kyojuro and there you were, having to break the heart of someone you cared for and if this was not enough, you were about to start the process to become the water pillar.

It was too much, too much for her, too much for a couple of days, too much for her the rest of her life thank you very much.

“You do not have to give me an answer right now. I am going on a business trip tomorrow. We can talk about it when I come back and I will be fine with whatever decision you take.” - He calmly called the waitress again to ask for a refill. How in hell could he be so calm after he spat such words? How could he failed to see how were you crumbling on the inside? Nonetheless, that was a good thing, right? It turned you into a very good liar, concealing your secret until the day you die. You have not spoken a single word.

“Sorry, I did interrupted you. You were talking about a pizza place?” - He sipped again, with inhuman tranquility, and you decided to play along. If you were going to reject him you would have time to think about the best way to do it and still end up in good terms, because that was only way to do it. Right?

“It was, it was nothing special, it was the best slice pizza that ever tried to kill me.” - For a change, Giyuu chuckled.

#my devoted husbands #Kyojuro Rengoku x reader #kyojuro rengoku x y/n #Kyojuro Rengoku x you #demon slayer #Rengoku Kyojuro x y/n #rengoku kyojuro x you #knyxyou #kny smut #kny x y/n #kny imagines #Rengoku Kyojuro x reader #demon slayer x reader #demon slayer x you #demons slayer x y/n #Giyuu Tomioka x reader #Giyuu Tomioka x y/n #Giyuu Tomioka x you #Tomioka Giyuu x reader #Tomioka Giyuu x y/n #Akaza x reader #Akaza x y/n #Akaza x you #Reverse Harem #polyamory #@ɢᴜᴇʀʀᴇʀᴀᴊᴀɢᴜᴀʀ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

[astrxlfinale]

Knowing a partner well can potentially make writing together a lot easier.

Repost it up. No reblogging.

--------

NAME: Jace

PRONOUNS : He/Him

PREFERENCE OF COMMUNICATION : Tbh DMs and Discord are the best way to go. If I'm ever calling you up in 4k, we've probably know each other for a hella long while at this point in this hobby. lol

NAME OF MUSE(s) : Caelus (Honkai Star Rail)

BEST EXPERIENCE : In particular it was a RP in my manga days of RP with my Oga Tatsumi muse. Me and a bunch of Nintendo related muses (After playing the hilarious spectacle of Shut up and Jam Gaiden, proceeded to do a shounen-esque RP of basketball that went into comical perfection. Rosalina Nintendo did indeed nuke everyone at the end with her Cosmic, universal shattering dunk.

It was GLORIOUS.

RP PET PEEVES / DEALBREAKERS :

:| So uh, there may be a bit to this.

Trauma/Stress Dumping: The #1 that will have me done at the drop of a hat. Since I even began rp'ing it's always been this thing, people seeking other folks/people who offer up solid chill times to just go and vent the entire world and then some onto them. Mind you a lot of these interactions being with strangers likely known for a week at most.

This literally has no changed a lick since middle school. Unless I've known you for a considerable amount of time, this is the easiest way to proceed breaking all contact with me.

Not to have this confused with venting on your own blog/space. I accept and always respect that boundary. Just do not use talking as an opportunity to lean into such subject matter. It's one of the central reasons I'm really careful in joining group chats to begin with. There is a difference in telling me that a day was rough/bullshit, AND letting me know of particular territory to be watchful for in discussion, then just using me as an outlet. Especially in what I take for a hobby.

Socializing =/= Writing time: While I enjoy the social aspect of RP in it's nature. I never want to be in a position where the hangout time I spend with you creates the curve of interaction. That easily exhausts me and takes the fun from things once I'm clued in. Honestly speaking, someone could never talk to me outside sparse words, and we just run around with our muses writing up all sorts of scenarios and it'd work perfectly. This is what I use the website for!

Plotting does not fall under this umbrella. If people need an angle to make their magic work, I'm all for cooperating with you, this again just leans into xyz activities outside the hobby. Stretching yourself too thin in this regard can genuinely screw people over in other long time hang outs too, I've learned that the hard way.

Reference of Son/Daughter talk in mention to the muse in question: While I've first seen it on this website, in the same vein it's made me incredibly goddamn tired as it reels directly into the conversation involving the infantalization of muses. This likely strikes the highs for me into terms of 'Fandom Curses' alongside 'One character quality defines the whole character in question.'. Let's not even get started into fandom habits shaping the perception of a character OUTSIDE of canon content. Having muses that had to deal with the primary talk point here, I've just said to hell with giving many things or people a chance.

It just comes off as a really weird practice to me. It leans off heavily into the realm of character disrespect on top of that, as these idealized fandom notions. (For Example: Kingdom Heart's Aqua being relegated to 'Momqua'.) It gets too 'family' oriented in a sense where these accomplished characters can't really explore the depth of both their struggles, triumphs and lows. So if you seen me avoid that like the plague, that's exactly why.

'Comfort Character' Projection: It aligns a smidgen with the above. But no, have no expectation that I'll ever be a source to live out these particulars with you if I happen to play that very muse. I've again not hesitated to cut off connections at all when people attempt to wire these expectations onto me. My iteration of the muse is exactly what you signed up for by following me, respect that, just as I respect your boundaries.

MUSE PREFERENCES: If we're talking about the TYPE of muse I enjoy? Delinquent muses take the penultimate crown. I love those rowdy but firm hearted types.

PLOTS OR MEMES : Throw both at me. Now days I've gotten particularly more experienced into the plotting department. In the same vein I can't have it entirely streamlined either. I gotta let the muses breathe their breaths and exercise their own voice and actions.

That said? Memes are eternal, just throw those in anyday of the week, even if they're in the old logs of my blog. I never mind that. Just the prompts and scenarios alone can spark forth some vivid ideas/adventures that do lead into plotting. So hell, both sides win.

LONG OR SHORT REPLIES : Either is good. Though, a forewarning that I CAN wind up getting wordy. This never has to be matched as I'm just a sucker for details.

BEST TIME TO WRITE : For me, it's normally times outside the midday. It's usually when I'm available, as you'd come to see me around mornings or nights. (Also it's the best focus time.)

I say normally however, there's also plenty of times I'd just be hanging around on/off periodically.

ARE YOU LIKE YOUR MUSE(S) : Outside of some brazen qualities. Not really no!

Tagged by: Not a soul! Yoinked it up myself.

Tagging: If you feel like lettin' the world know, then by all means!

#| OOC Musings #| Dash Games

[gunsli-01]

So, are you ready to jump into the first part of the Tarot rundown? Probably, hopefully... I've only been vaguely mentioning this essay for weeks at this point. Today we'll be going over the first five cards in the celtic spread shown first in MeMe. Next, we'll go over the other five and our interpretation of the cards overall. Then do the same with the second spread.

Now we're not just giving a surface level reading here. We'll also be taking a deeper look into how Mikoto designed his cards in comparison to the classic ones. This is going to be long and go over what people may feel is superfluous off topic information. Such as the history behind some tarot cards which will include how they were typically depicted and the history around those previous depictions.

Now with all of that out of the way let me put my suffering on full display. If anyone goes under this cut, you'll see pretty quickly why this was separated into four parts. Five cards down fifteen more to go-ha ha no some of these repeat so it's literally like maybe twelve or eleven.

Here's the link to preface explaining every bias I may have

Spread One

First Card Represents: The Situation

Card Drawn: Hangman

Position: Reversed

In Mikoto’s tarot deck the Hangman is portrayed as a yellowish orange man strung upside down by their leg on a glowing blue cross a yellow moon behind their head and eyes peering at them from behind. As if put up on display against their will. This is fun for multiple reasons it plays on Mikoto’s fear of being surveilled or unknowingly put into a situation where he is being watched by others with no escape from their gaze.

However, the eyes watching on at the display remind me of the game Hangman. That fun game where a person or team of people have to guess the letters in a word or term but if a guess is wrong another piece of the hangman is drawn on the board until he’s completely there signifying the guesser’s loss. It’s the one-time people will look on intently at something usually considered gruesome and find entertainment in it.

We’re not saying this could have been an intentional allusion when it comes to the eyes it’s just a fun thought. Especially considering that Mikoto has been related to competitive children’s games already.

Mikoto’s variation on the Hangman card is pretty close to what the card looks like within most modern tarot decks. Hanging upside down by their foot tied to a cross of some kind. Certainly, he took some liberties with the background. Though roughly it’s not too far removed from its typical depiction that it’s difficult to tell what it is.

However, that’s considering its modern-day depictions. Historically the Hangman card while still depicting a man hung upside down by one of his feet did not have him tied to a cross. In fact, he was tied to a tree said to hold up the heavens with roots that directly connected to the underworld. The card has been depicted with the man hanging from a branch held up between two trees firmly rooted within the ground. That or one tree with leaves on each side of the top branches. Over time the tree the hangman was attached to slowly became more and more cross-like. Eventually the cross took the tree's place entirely and no greenery can be found within most depictions of the card.

The hangman is also associated with the motif colors of both of the Kayanos seen in MeMe. Red and Blue. The hangman is also associated with yellow. In versions of the card the Hangman is depicted with golden blonde hair, yellow shoes, red pants and a blue shirt. The red is meant to represent the passion of humanity and the human form. While the blue represents calm and reflective emotions. The yellow on the Hangman’s personage is meant to represent his intellect.

In Mikoto’s first iteration of the Hangman card (the painting seen at the beginning of MeMe) the color red does not appear at all. Though this could be because it is unfinished.

However, I think the Hangman is the tarot card associated with Boku Mikoto. The Fool being the one associated with Ore Mikoto. Fun fact the painting of The Fool can be seen in MeMe as a visual indication of when Ore Mikoto is on screen in some scenes.

I think this is the correct interpretation of things not only because Ore Mikoto is heavily associated with red throughout the mv and Boku Mikoto Blue or because blue is the color of focus within the hangman card Mikoto draws originally. It also makes sense when we take their individual personalities into account.

Boku Mikoto is the leveled and calm one. Having him be represented by the hangman tied to a blue cross the color the card associates with calm emotions; the body and moon be yellow the color associated with intellect. Fits especially when you take into consideration that The Hangman is no hostage or victim of circumstance. It’s generally believed that he is not only fine but is there of his own volition. Only having one leg tied and his hands freely held behind his back.

It's thought that the hangman can leave whenever he pleases but he doesn’t. A lot of people would assume his hands are tied as well as his one foot and tend to be wary about receiving this card in any reading. Just because of the look of it alone. However, the hangman itself is the embodiment of calculated risk and reward. He’ll stay where he is until the time is right to get what he wants.

Hm, if that isn’t reminiscent of a certain lyric.

“I’d play dead even though I’m alive right?”

The Hangman usually foretells sacrifice in the sake of progress. To obtain or accomplish one’s goal something must be given. Though this time of sacrifice may not be pleasant it is expected to lead somewhere in the end. It can also allude to needing to take a premeditated step backwards to better move forward later. However, it is usually interpreted as a sign to stop. Warning against continuing forward on a particular path or with a certain action. Heavily recommending one take the time to step back to better analyze the circumstance before proceeding regardless of how urgent the matter may seem. Due to this it can also be seen as a sign of indecision.

It appears here in its reversed position which foretells that the querent has reached a point in their life where they feel as though they’ve sacrificed so much yet very little, or nothing has been gained in return. They have reached an impasse filled with a feeling of crippling stagnation. They are possibly curious if anything can be done from the position, they find themselves in now. Finding themselves feeling as though whatever they attempt to do, no matter how much they try nothing is turning out as it should.

“All those ridiculous accusations. Hurting it, holding it down, it doesn’t change anything, does it? Ah, it’s the same anywhere I go. It’s like what’s wrong isn’t wrong.” –- “My life it wasn’t supposed to be this way.”

Second Card Represents: The Challenge

Card Drawn: Queen of Swords

Position: Neutral

The Queen of Swords is usually seen with a stern look, her sword pointed up to the sky in one hand and the other out as if offering something. This card has been associated with the element air and clouds. It has been stated that the Queen of Swords place is in the clouds far from the reach of anyone who would wish to do harm to or deceive her. However, in Mikoto’s Tarot deck the Queen of Swords is represented by multiple knives with a chain-link fence behind them. As though the queen has been caged in and separated from her place in the clouds.

The clouds even appear to still be present just behind the fence. The Queen of Swords is meant to instill clear judgement when it comes to mundane situations that occur in the querents day to day activities while also leaving them flexible to the input of others. Overall allowing them to gain more knowledge from their peers while completing their everyday responsibilities.

It appears to signal to the asker that sometimes it is best to make decisions unclouded by one's own emotions. Instead beckoning the person to look at all the facts of the situation before making a snap judgement. Whether reversed or right side up it tells the wonderer to stop thinking with their feelings and look at things objectively. However, in this case it is neutral and representative of a challenge one will face.

When combined cards one and two form the heart of the situation Mikoto in this case the querent is currently facing. The queen being here doesn’t seem like a problem but should be read as such. Everyone interprets tarot differently so feel free to take the proceeding interpretation with a grain salt. Taking in all the information we have on Mikoto at this time.

Card 1 & 2 add up to one interpretation. Mikoto is having a difficult time with the outcome of his choices. He feels like he’s in a constant spiral of giving without ever receiving anything in return. The problem is he has no proper way of communicating this. Be it that his grievances are too far in the past to bring up now,

“If I could laugh, if I could go back, I’d play dead even though I’m alive right?”

A lyric that under this interpretation could be considered to mean even if I went back, I’d still keep quiet while screaming on the inside. He’d still just keep it to himself even if he could redo it all. This may be because he doesn’t even know where to start when it comes to communicating how he’s feeling or he’s willfully holding it all in. Making direct communication a closed off option entirely. This could possibly explain why the queen has been fenced in within his Tarot design as well.

Okay, so what? Mikoto has a problem. He’s feeling like all his hard work has amounted to nothing and he’s only being asked to do more. He can’t/won’t communicate that issue. Something that is very in character given how his communication style has been portrayed so far.

So, let’s talk about that communication style. Mikoto’s style of communication has been shown to be a mix of Passive and Submissive. He’s not a pushover but he has a general unwillingness to burden others around him. He doesn’t balk at communicating in general and attempts to keep the atmosphere amicable and positive. He shows outward disdain towards Futa whose communication style drastically conflicts with his own. Noting that he believes Futa’s way of communicating to be attention seeking in nature.

“Hey, it’s a bother having you be so angry and tense all the time. You should stop trying to get everyone to pay attention to you. You’re a uni student, right? You can’t act like that once you start working properly.”

Mikoto interprets Futa’s more aggressive communication style and tense mannerisms as attention seeking and notes it as a problem. This contrasts with his usually more amicable demeanor and mature way of communicating. While also showing off his ability to directly communicate issues with others. Even though Mikoto attempts to be the mature one most of the time like Mahiru he seems to genuinely enjoy communicating with others.

He may even find comfort and needed stimulation from his social interactions despite the strange circumstances. He even goes up to Shidou someone he states is difficult to talk to in a previous interaction five days later just to chat. All because a good opportunity to break the ice presented itself.

Even though Mikoto’s upbringing may not have allowed him to develop the best communication style when it comes to taking his own feelings into account, he seems to get some satisfaction from conversing in general. I believe his chatty nature is displayed the best in the Portal Timeline Posts on 20/07/15 when he discusses his studying habits with Amane, 20/05/31 where he talks over his belief that Milgram is a reality tv stunt with Mu, and 20/05/25 where he’s caught talking aloud to himself by Mahiru before they introduce themselves to each other.

In all of these situations someone initiates conversation with Mikoto first. Who is shown to be more than happy to reciprocate when prompted and willing to stretch the conversation on longer. Having to stop himself during the conversation with Amane twice because he recognizes he may be talking about things she doesn’t understand or someone her age might not be interested in.

After confiding in Mu that he still believes this is a reality stunt. Because he really hasn’t murdered anyone. So, this can’t be real but if that is the case, he is worried about being seen doing something as embarrassing as getting upset about his wrongful imprisonment. He then follows up lengthening the conversation by changing the topic to how if it is a tv stunt Mu will be really popular because she’s good looking. Plus, there are lot of folks who get their big break from things like this.

The focus of his conversation with Mahiru is usually how he gives her a nickname immediately. Mikoto explains who he does and doesn’t give nicknames to and why he likes using them as well. It doesn’t seem like a socially manipulative tactic on his part even though he notes the psychological benefits of it and recommends it. He says he doesn’t give them to people who are hard to talk to like Shidou or children like Amane. So, if he were using nicknames in a psychologically manipulative way or to come off more endearing wouldn't it be easier to use it on people you have difficulty speaking with like Shidou instead of not using them at all with a select few.

Something that could easily be taken as personal slight when you're known to give everyone else nicknames. Mikoto's reasoning behind who he doesn't give nicknames to leaves Futa to wonder where he falls between the Amane and Shidou. Difficult to communicate with or child. Neither of which are good options for the college student.

However, I propose he falls squarely into the category of Mikoto’s actual reason for giving nicknames. To differentiate between the people, he feels comfortable talking to and people he doesn’t. That’s why Futa doesn’t fall into either of the categories he presented and why the only common thread between these three is how he’s shown hesitance when it comes to communicating with them. Even if the reasons why vary. They're all people that he’s on more than one occasion shown a need to watch what he says around or a general discomfort speaking to.

That leads me to believe these nicknames are his way of going oh I feel comfortable around this person and want to interact with them more. This lines up with his introduction to Mahiru as well. Mikoto doesn’t just give her a nickname out of the clear blue sky before he does, he literally says,

“Ahh, I’m glad there’s someone here who’s easy to talk to.”

So, it’s likely that this is just his subconscious way of going this person is easy or safe to talk to. Our overall point is while Mikoto does struggle with communicating certain things he seems to enjoy the act of communicating itself. Something that makes sense given he’s the only individual in Milgram to have a communications-based vocation.

Q.08 What’s the most rewarding part of your current job?

Mikoto: I mean, it’s the top advertising agency in the industry? Anyone would be proud to be a part of it. I put a lot of work in just to get there, too.

He is just very unlikely to voice displeasure or do anything that he views as burdensome, uncivil, or generally embarrassing. This means he probably has a lot of patience when it comes to dealing with bad actors. Possibly holding the mentality that regardless of how another person behaves towards you, how you react to their treatment is a choice that reflects your character so be the bigger person. Let their actions speak for them and your actions speak for you.

If that's the case though... Then what could have occurred that was causing him so much emotional distress and irritation that his communication would be affected to this degree?

Third Card Represents: The Past

Card Drawn: Wheel of Fortune

Position: Reversed

In Mikoto’s Tarot deck the Wheel of Fortune is represented by multiple wheels. Some wheel designs appear multiple times throughout the card. However, the wheel with double layered spokes and rims only repeats twice. The wheel right above where the card says Wheel of. Another tire like it appears behind and under further behind the wheel stained with blood. One can tell it’s the same wheel because of the doubled spokes that can be seen in the gaps of the tire in front of it.

Since that specific wheel design appears twice it could be the design of Mikoto’s bicycle wheels. However, the shape and size of the wheels are more reminiscent of car tires with a snake slithering between them.

There are two things that we can consider odd about Mikoto’s rendition of this card.  Those being the snake and the use of car tires. To our knowledge Mikoto doesn’t own a car and to his own admission does not like reptiles.

Q.06 What do you hate?

Mikoto: working overnight / reptiles / violence

The wheel of fortune historically has been represented by one wheel usually covered in alchemical symbols surrounded by multiple creatures. An Angel in the top left corner representative of the zodiac sign Aquarius Air and Intellect, an Eagle in the top right corner representative of Scorpio Water and Emotions, a Lion in the bottom right corner with wings representative of Leo Fire and Passion, and a Bull in the bottom left corner with wings representative of Taurus Earth and Possessions. They are all depicted holding/looking at books.

Q.12 How do you travel to work?

Mikoto: Road cycling. It’s one of my hobbies, good exercise too.

The fact that I don’t have to worry about making the last train can be both a blessing and a curse.

Why are these astrological signs associated with the wheel of fortune? Simply put there is a bit of an overlap between Astrology and Tarot reading. Tarot cards overlap with many things. However, the explanation for these signs being used specifically may lie in the myths associated with them and their elements as signs.

The water bearer depicted in Aquarius represents a boy of legend by the name of Ganymede. While tending to his father’s land Zeus saw the boy falling for him instantly. Zeus then turned himself into a bird and swooped down taking the boy and bringing him to Olympus where he became the water bearer of the Gods. Going from farmer to immortal is hardly an unfortunate thing. Though being abducted by a bird kind of is and if you go into the emotional logistics of if the guy hated or loved his family, then it could have been a bit of a downer.

Either way, there at the top left corner of the wheel the eleventh sign Aquarius sits displaying that even life’s best turns are unpredictable.

In the bottom left laying peacefully is the second sign Taurus. The bottom is usually a rough place to be, at least that’s what many people believe. However, sometimes the place where you are is right where you're needed. Taurus showcases the ups and downs of the wheel perfectly with its myth. In it Zeus transforms himself into a white bull to steal away the object of his affections Europa in which he succeeded. Taking her to Crete and wooing her with multiple gifts. They had three children together. One of them would go on to become the King of Crete known as Minos.

However, the path of the parents is rarely the tale of the offspring. To become the King of Crete Minos prayed to Zeus’ brother god of Seas Poseidon. Poseidon then sent a bull from the sea as proof that Minos had the right to rule. Minos had promised to sacrifice the bull back to Poseidon in thanks. When met with the bull's magnificence much like his mom when it had come to Zeus he took a shine to the animal. It was gorgeous. So, what was wrong with keeping it? Minos then decided that he would partially keep his word to the Sea God sacrificing a normal bull to Poseidon instead.

As you can guess this did not go over well with Poseidon. As recompence for words not kept Poseidon had Aphrodite make Minos’ wife lust for the sacred bull. So, even though Minos had become king by not keeping to his word and trying to take more than promised. He became king but his wife was well getting horny over other things soooo…the bottom left you lay Taurus. Life truly is full of highs and lows.

On the upper right-hand side rests, the eighth sign Scorpio depicted as an Eagle with a book beneath its talons. Scorpio is tied to the myth of Orion. There are many myths surrounding Orion. He is a son of Poseidon and best known for hunting. It is even said he accompanied Artemis on a hunt.

His tale has many iterations in one telling of events he boasted that with his skills he could take down any creature on earth in another he promised to kill every animal on earth. This display of arrogance or callousness depending on the story offended and upset Gaia who sent a giant scorpion after him. Orion and the Scorpion both died during their altercation leading to the creation of the constellations Scorpius and Orion.

Zeus or Artemis decided to memorialize Orion in the sky, but Gaia is said to have created Scorpius in honor of the scorpion that killed Orion. In another tale Orion while a hunter spent most of his days attempting to obtain the hand of the woman, he loved the daughter of Oenopion the king of Chios. During his efforts to gain the right to be with Merope Orion cleared the beast from the island and brought his beloved the spoils from his hunt. Like a cat.

Despite all the spoils he had gathered her father Oenopion was disinterested in the man’s advances. Refusing to give his consent for the union. This led Orion to try to take Merope by force. This did not go over well with her father who blinded Orion while after he’d gotten inebriated and sent the man out to shore. He eventually found his way to the sun god and got his sight restored. After which he stayed with Artemis (Diana) as her hunting partner. Artemis grew fond of the man but her brother Apollo was brought to upset by this and would chide her about said affections.

One day when Orion was out at sea Apollo spotted him from above and bet Artemis could not hit him. It must be noted that Orion was so far out that he appeared to be nothing more than a black speck. Artemis took deadly aim and fired. When Orion’s body washed up to shore, she was so aggrieved she placed him into the heavens.

The less extravagant telling of events and possibly what the wheel of fortune is referring to is… Orion was a man who led a rather sad life and ultimately met his end when he accidently stepped on a scorpion. The Gods felt so sorry for him that they immortalized the hunter in the sky surrounding him with many animals so that he could continue his hunting even in the stars. Showcasing that even when the wheel runs you over you will one day roll up to the top again.

Last but certainly not least is Leo. The fifth representative of the western This one is somewhat common knowledge or at least has been showcased in various media over the years since it’s tied to Hercules/Heracles. For reference you know the giant lion Hercules fights during Zero to Hero in Disney’s Hercules. Yeah, that’s Leo. Getting folded by Hercules in what’s basically a visual footnote in the background of a musical number. That’s certainly a way to get to the bottom of the Wheel of Fortune card.

Yet somehow it gets worse for poor Leo. In one story possibly connected to the lion of the stars there was a young couple Pyramus and Thisbe who very much wanted to be together, but their parents contested their relationship saying that they were both too young to be wed and separated them. However, the pair decided to meet secretly with white berries beneath a certain mulberry tree. When Thisbe arrived, she was attacked by an already blood-stained lion at which point she ran away from their meeting spot. As she left her veil fell from her face and onto the ground and the lion pounced atop it. When Pyramus arrived, he saw the blood veil and assumed the worst. He then threw himself atop his own sword in grief. Thisbe returned briefly after whether it was out of concern for her already fallen love or just to keep to their meeting is unknown. However, when she saw the Pyramus there blade ran through him and her bloody veil nearby she took her loves sword and quickly followed him. It is said the blood of this tragic couple is what colored the berries of the Mulberry tree red. Some even believe that Zeus himself placed Thisbe’s veil in the sky as Coma Berenices.

The other tale is that of Hercules. In Nemea lived a beast of great size with a hide thick as iron that no weapon could pierce with claws that could rip through armor. A lion of great strength that far surpassed the others of its kind. It brought fear to the hills of Nemea. Hercules’ first task was to defeat the beast and bring the King its pelt. During his first attempt Hercules used arrows to no avail. After which he went after the beast with his club chasing it into a cave with two entrances, one of which he’d already blocked off.

He cornered the animal realizing it could not be slain with human tools he took to using his bare hands. Choking out the beast in his with his mighty arms while avoiding and at times ignoring its claws. So, there Leo sits at the bottom right of the Wheel.

-Back to Mikoto for those not interested in the mythology stuff-

I may have been writing this for too long but that last story of the lion sounds a bit familiar. Sort of reminds me of what Mikoto is shown to be going through in MeMe. Particularly, his last obstacle where we see him burying a person alive, but his bat is weirdly absent as though he was incapable of using it in that bout or disarmed. Though we’ll go into his crimes in another post. Just thought I’d note that here.

I explained all that to get across that there were many animals more prominent within the wheel Mikoto could have chosen. He could have even played on the eagle representing Scorpio and had scorpions crawling through the tires. The snake isn’t even a mainstay in most iterations of the card. It’s small and off to the side. Only there to represent evil. The fact that Mikoto’s tarot design of the Wheel of Fortune hones in on the snake says a lot about how he views fortune in general.

This also plays into why there are multiple wheels instead of one within his depiction.

For the most part Mikoto has presented himself as an individual who believes in personal accountability, working towards one’s own goals, and being considerate of those around you. Considering his character, it’s not surprising that the wheel of fortune is not just one individual wheel but multiple wheels that seem to be crushing and overshadowing his own. As though he’s just a cog in a larger machine as the snake slithers through unperturbed by the chaos around it. It really does perfectly visualize the fickle crushing weight that is the reality of such things as fate and luck.

Highlighting how most people don’t get anywhere without the help of others and sometimes it’s not about letting go or letting whatever happens happen. Instead, it’s only who you know and who likes you that decides how the wheel spins.

This card perfectly visualizes the fear Mikoto has around letting go of control of things like his emotions, job, or even past choices that aren’t working out and letting what will happen after just happen. Because there are so many variables that can’t be accounted for, and life is full of wills outside of one’s own. Having your life be affected by the lives of others is unavoidable.

Yes, we are all crushed by the wheel, but some are ran over more than others and the chaos surrounding his version of the card perfectly illustrates that. While it does a great job of highlighting his general wariness about letting what will be, be it also shows his disdain at the concept. Whether consciously or subconsciously Mikoto associated the one thing he openly dislikes with the card that literally symbolizes that everyone will have to relinquish control of a situation at some point and just have faith things will work out. That good and bad times both will pass.

Mikoto’s response to this card's existence is direct hostility, and he is using his artistic abilities to call bullshit on the concept of the card itself. He really went no I dislike this card specifically, designed it like this, and then drew that shit in two separate Celtic spreads. Like the cards, the cards, the cards will tell- Man I’m surprised he hasn’t burned this deck. The only thing I’ve realized through writing most of this is that Mikoto can be incredibly passive aggressive, and I love it.

Now when it comes to the car tires. He may have chosen them to represent the Wheel of Fortune because cars tend to be expensive making it fortunate for one to own such a vehicle. However, we believe there may be more meaning to this. One that may be discerned from looking at the other cards.

The Wheel of Fortune signifies the uncontrollable and cyclical nature of life. The ups and downs spinning in tandem with no signs of stopping. Reminding people that regardless of their status some things are just fated to occur. Like life’s many saddening facets and happy accidents, some things are unavoidable. The wheel runs over all indiscriminately.

It reminds the querant regardless of the situation they currently find themselves in that their present is not their end. Things will change. Upright it reminds people to appreciate the good times they may be having for they will not last and in reverse it reminds them that the bad times too shall pass. As the third card in the Celtic spread, it is representative of the querants past.

In this case signifying that Mikoto has faced many troubles in his past up until this point. Yet these times may be passing.

Fourth Card Represents: The Future

Card Drawn: Five of Swords

Position: Upright

In Mikoto’s Tarot deck the Five of Swords is represented by five cooking knives with seven holes above the edge of the blade. Other than that, the card does not differ too much from its regular depictions. The fourth card in the Celtic spread represents the querants possible future. So, we can discern a bit about how things may go from this card.

The Five of Swords suggests that the querant is facing a conflict of some kind. This conflict can be internal or external. It can allude to one having social disagreements. It advises the querant to introspect upon what is more important in this argument, being proven correct or keeping polite relations. Warning that even though it seems they have won they could end up losing in the long run due to the ire they’ve incurred. Highlighting that it may be necessary for the querant to face themselves by fully investigating their beliefs.

It warns against becoming overly ambitious. Stating that continuing in this manner will either lead to querants defeat or a victory in isolation.

“If I could end, if I could stop; how long would this dream go on?”

“Why, hey why, I’m nowhere to be found?”

Fifth Card Represents: The Conscious/Above

Card Drawn: Ace of Cups

Position: Upright

The Ace of Cups in Mikoto’s tarot deck is represented by a cup pouring what appears to be paint over the broken remains of a bunch of wooden mannequins used for figure drawing in front of a bluish moon. I could have brought this up earlier, but I assumed it was readily apparent and could not remember if there was an exact word for these things. However, I’ve given up on finding out if there is at this point.

So, yeah, the human figures in Mikoto’s tarot cards are wooden figure drawing mannequins. Tiny dolls with moveable joints that artists position in order to get a better grasp on poses. They can be found in art schools for example the only reason I know what they are is because I went to an arts high school, and they were brought up at points by students. They can also be found in art supply shops. Not everyone uses them, and some artists find them finicky opting to just look up references or stock photos instead.

However, these mannequins are usually fun to use, position in various ways, and are helpful for those who like a three-dimensional reference. So, it might be more likely that artists who studied mostly through drawing art models people who pose for art students to draw them either clothed, partially clothed or nude would gravitate towards these. While we’re on the topic all the items except for maybe the car tires depicted within the wheel of fortune are items that can be found within Mikoto’s home.

Pentacles being represented by records there’s a record player on one of his drawers, his baseball bat representing wands, the kitchen knives representing swords we don’t see his kitchen in MeMe but I assume he has knives and these figure drawing mannequins while not seen in his home are possibly something he uses for work or has around in an area of his house we have not seen yet like with the knives.

As I brought up, when going over the wheel of fortune card two of the tires within the wheel seem to belong to Mikoto. However, this is only believed to be the case by us because they have doubled spokes and are the only tires to appear just twice throughout the card.

Moving on. Usually, the Ace of Cups is depicted as a standing but overflowing cup held out by a hand as if it is being offered to the asker. Even though the Ace of Cups is depicted as overflowing it is rarely depicted as being deliberately poured out as it is here.

It is usually shown with five separate streams of water flowing out of it as it stands. In a way reminiscent of a fountain. Comparing the amount coming from the cup in Mikoto’s interpretation of the card to how much water is usually depicted in other variations of the card it becomes apparent how measly this amount is. So, why might that be?

Well, the answer can be found when looking into the meaning of those five streams. The five streams are meant to embody the power of intuition, highlighting the effect looking inward and listening to one’s inner voice can have. The cup standing showcases how it does not need to be disturbed or moved for it to overflow just filled or fed by its holder. The streams flowing or jutting out of it illustrate the tangible effects the holder can have on their environment by doing such a thing.

Think of it similarly to how we talked about bottling up emotions earlier with Kazui. Doing it for too long will eventually cause one to overflow in numerous ways. It can either boil over or burst forth in a controlled way.

However, in Mikoto’s case doing it too little will leave one with nothing to fall back on when external sources of validation fail them. Because there’s very little of an inner voice to connect to in Mikoto’s case be it from him focusing most of his emotional understanding outwards or other reasons he has to tip the cup over to even get a smidgen of what for most it can give while standing.

The Ace of Cups is Upright here highlighting that the inquirer needs to let go of any lingering pain from their past to move forward in a more open and unburdened way. New beginnings are on the horizon if the asker is open to them, themselves, and is willing to leave their baggage behind. Because it is in the position representative of the querents conscious state.

This can be interpreted to mean that Mikoto is making the conscious decision to remain open and flexible. He’s making a conscious effort to be approachable and amicable in his relations. Possibly even purposely ignoring any misgivings he has about his circumstances to do so.

“The minus energy that I swallowed hugged me.”

#i always turn my work in on time i say as i miss every deadline i impose on myself #milgram #kayano mikoto

[ancientcraftnoccultism]

BEGINNER CLASS - Session 3

WHAT IS MAGIC?

___

By KB[AncientCraft]

Introduction

Hello again everyone ♡ Thank you for joining us in our third session for the Beginner Class! Today, we're going to go over a few more terms in order to cover some fundamental grounds. This is to cover the basics of metaphysics and how to begin your metaphysical work. It is crucial to keep in mind that some traditions, especially reconstructionist ones, have their own metaphysical frameworks that might be different from this one. This methodology is used for all witchcraft. Let's get started!

Magic

The manipulation of energies to create results consistent with will is referred to as magic. Magic is a natural process that uses a balance of energies to bring about transformation. Magic operates by combining energy with intent. There are three primary forms of magic, however in this post we'll mostly be concentrating on the first one. Later, I'll write a separate piece diving into the three categories of magic.

Energy - the use of natural abilities to sense, direct, or otherwise manipulate energy.

Psychical - communication or perception by means other than the physical senses.

Divine - this relies on a connection to the Divine. A good example of this would be Deity Work.

Energy

For magic to function, energy is essential. No matter where the energy comes from, in order to perform magick, you must gather or elevate it, give it a purpose or intent, release it, and direct it in the manner of a desired outcome. There are three main sources of energy in which we draw from every day subconsciously.

Personal Energy - This is our life force, our chi, our own personal energy that stems from within. In a lot of traditions, this energy is represented as a deep blue, or indigo color. This energy is sustained within us by the light from the sun and the moon, the food we eat, and the water we drink. We can also raise this energy through movements such as dancing or yoga, as well as through sound such as chanting and singing. Meditation and Grounding are other ways to get in touch with our personal energy.

Earth Energy - This is the life force of our planet. All things of nature carry this energy, everything from stones to trees.

Divine Energy - This is the energies that resides within elements in relation to the Divine. We are able to request or summon these energies through working with different parts of the Divine through Deity Work.

Personal Energy

When outlining the sources of power I mentioned the personal energy; but, because it is directly connected to our life force, it is limited, and consuming too much of it can leave you feeling exhausted, lightheaded, or even ill. It negatively impacts your spirit, which could have an impact on your physical health. Fortunately, there are ways to boost and refuel our personal power. Here are the three easiest ways to do so.

Drawing Energy - This requires you to tap into another source of energy in order for it to "recharge" yours. This can be done using just about anything but some of the most common things include Crystals, herbs, earth energy, the Moon, and the Sun.

Raising Energy - This encourages independent replenishing through movement or sound. Some of the most common methods include yoga, chanting, art, or other physical activities.

Rest - This is by far the simplest method, but it is also the slowest. I have found in my personal experience that eating and taking a shower or bath helps as well.

Intent

While it is not the most important foundation for magical workings, it can only be executed with intent. The intention behind a working directs the energy that was raised toward its objective. There are many techniques to direct intent, but the most popular ones include using words or incantations, visualizing, and concentrating your mind on your intended goal.

Incantations - Words or phrases that are spoken, sang, or chanted in relation to the working at hand in order to direct energy towards your goal. It can be very fun to write out poetry with Old English, but please keep in mind your incantation needs to be specific about what your goal is.

Focus - The mind is a powerful thing. This is very important, as where your mind travels, so does the energy. You want your mind to be completely focused on your ultimate goal before you direct and release the energy, otherwise, the energy will go in directions you did not intend for it to. This will be a very useful tool for those of you who find it difficult to visualize.

Visualization - This is the process of constructing internal images to provide a clearer focus of intent. In my personal opinion, this is hands down the best way to focus intent.

Visualization

There are two main types of visualization.

Active Visualization - Focusing the mind on a specific goal or outcome.

Passive Visualization - Letting images appear in mind as they come and go. This is common in Divination.

Your primary mode of visualization when performing workings will be active visualization, specifically creative visualization. The act of seeing your intention or wish come true in your head through creative visualization. This signals to the amplified energy what aim it should be directed. When using creative visualization, it's crucial to concentrate on the outcome rather than the problem you're trying to address. There are three string principles in order to have a successful creative visualization session.

Belief - Believe in your goal as well as your ability to accomplish it. Doubt is a giant roadblock for the visualization process, as it sends conflicting signals to the energy that is being directed.

Desire - There must be a very strong drive and desire for whatever it is your goal may be. This allows for a clearer image and provides a more precise direction for the energy to follow.

Visualize - Create a clear mental image of your desired goal. The more details and specific, the better your chances at success are. Don't picture the problem, picture the solution and embody the feelings that come along with the success. Using your emotions as an aid for your energy work will help provide the clearest image possible.

Law of Attraction

The Law of Attraction is the process or construction of an energy force that interacts with physical particles, people, and events, tending to attract them together and preventing their separation. When anything or someone is brought together magnetically, it is said to be under the influence of attraction. The challenge for all of humanity is to recognize our genuine Self, the I Am, our inner divinity. As we attain this, we are to use the magnetic force deliberately in all of our creations, based on our awareness of cause and effect and the Law of Believing and Knowing. Creation is formed and composed of the aggressive and receptive principles. This theory is also known as the Yin and Yang principle in many Far Eastern civilizations.

Now, not everyone holds the notion that commonplace, everyday thoughts possess magnetic strength. However, in a metaphysical context, when energy is being raised, ideas and especially intent definitely do tend to be magnetic. This is why it's important to completely concentrate on the solution rather than the issue while focusing your purpose, whether you're visualizing, utilizing incantations, or just directing your thoughts.

The primary exception to this would be when you are banishing something or someone with the intention of taking it away. In that instance, you would need to concentrate on the issue, but concentrate on it being eliminated or exiled rather than on it continuing to cause trouble. Other exceptions might exist besides this one, but they would largely depend on the circumstances and be left up to the practitioner's discretion.

Affirmations

In order to develop positive thinking and dispel negative thoughts, affirmations are positive phrases that are repeated. They function somewhat as a type of magic on their own and are highly helpful in spells and rituals. They should always be positive, in the present tense, and result-oriented when utilized in workings. They can be employed independently or as a component of a larger working, such as an invocation.

#baby witch #elder witch #beginner witch #witchblr #dark witchcraft #witchcraft #astrology #tarot #aesthetic #divination #witchcraft 101 #witchcore #kitchen witch #green witch #witch tip

[viscountessevie]

I’m sorry and some of your tumblr mutuals are dealing with insanity the last couple days. I wonder if it’s one person who is aggressively going after three of you simultaneously. I wish people would leave our corner of the fandom in peace.

Thank you two for your support and messages. That being said, I do not want to dismiss my last anon’s experience and feelings.

[@ My First Anon: You most likely didn't mean it maliciously but doesn't negate the fact that it was used. I want to let you know that using the word "aggressive" is not the right choice of words given the negative connotation it has and being a part of the history of language used against Black people tied to it.]

I am very conscious of my last anon's fandom experience because I understand where they are coming from because of what I went through with S2. I constantly had and saw non-Desi fans - hell even some Desi fans themselves - talking over me and my fellow Desi friends/fans' experiences and feelings over how the Sharmas were portrayed as well as Kate's portrayal (and lack of screentime) as well as how she was fetishised all through S2 and even now post-S2.

In direct responses to my two anons above: it doesn't matter if they are trolling because this is still their lived experience in the fandom and I am not going to negate or invalidate that. I will still respond in kind and listen to their POV with care and consideration.

As for leaving our side of the fandom alone (and I'll talk about my friends getting anons in bit), I've always been open about race conversations on this blog and so if I have said anything out of turn that wasn't related to my personal experience with S2 and seeing how Simone was mistreated as a fellow Indian person, then I take full responsibility for that. So I personally don't want to be left alone in terms of these discussions because I want to learn from what I've said and done, do better to improve and provide a safer space for anyone who comes on this blog, especially in this case, Black fans of the show.

~

That being said, while I understand on some level where my previous anon was coming from, sending my friends leading and loaded asks is not okay at all. I'm not sure if it's the same person or their friends doing it on their behalf. These asks especially this one is not cool:

Stalking Chloe’s Twitter

Who does this? Why would you go stalk someone and find their Twitter to dig up "dirt" and insult them like this? That's extremely creepy. Especially since this someone was not involved in this discussion at all and all she did was like a post that was in support of Black fans and their community!

While I understand this anon’s sentiment but like Chloe said in her reply, it was confusing and came out of left field. 

Another friend got asks as well, they are busy with their work irl hence taking their time to answer so I’m giving them the space to do so before commenting on all of it directly. However, there was one ask they got which confused us. It was essentially gatekeeping them from interacting with any post that mentioned the Black characters on the show,,, which was odd to say the least because how are non-black fans supposed to support and hype up their favourite characters who happen to be black? Not to mention we still want to reblog and share content created by Black fans of the show. So that ask felt like a slippery slope to me.

In summary, about these asks sent to my mutuals: All I ask is my friends be left out of this discussion as they only liked a post, which again was in support of Black fans and keeping this dialogue open for them. However, *I* made my choice to defend my friend and then that discourse escalated to bringing up while important - but still unrelated to the original discourse at hand - conversations about race. *I* made the choice to open my blog up to that and am still keeping the dialogue going. On the other hand, my friends did not make this choice so please just keep directing your asks at me. 

After all this is said and done, my offer to continue these conversations in my asks (off anon is better since it is private and I'll know who I'm talking to directly) or in DM (it's faster), still stands. This blog and space will always be and continue to be a safe space for any of my Black mutuals/followers/anons and anyone else from any background who wish to make this blog a safe space for them.

#Bridgerton Fandom #Fandom Racism #Bridgerton Asks

[sophieinwonderland]

I don't remember exactly what it was you said, but mentioned something about how scientists suspect some aspects of schizospec stuff may be dissociative in nature, and it got me thinking about how my own psychosis and plurality interact. I came to the conclusion that how I feel when I'm questioning reality is pretty similar to how I feel when I'm co-con. Two different flavors of disconnect from the world around me; two different instances of dissociation. A little interesting to discover.

On a similar topic, we have this one member who we're pretty sure formed out of our delusions, as we relied on this particular delusion as a (maladaptive) coping mechanism, and they're basically a healthier version of it. What was this delusion, you may ask? Simply that we were a doll... except that doll had a different personality and outlook to our usual one. We essentially embodied a different sense of self to cope, which we now know was rooted in dissociation due to the nature of our psychosis, and that... Seems to be pretty damn similar to how DID is said to form. At least one other "personality state" (we don't like the term, but hey, it's what's in the DSM) separated from the rest of the self due to dissociation.

Of course, I suppose treatment would be different; I'm not saying delusions and DID are exactly the same. But I don't think the two are as incompatible as some claim, either. Between dissociation from the world around us and identities that don't match an outsider's view of reality, I think the opportunity for solidarity, at the very least, is there.

This so true, and I'm really glad you shared your perspective.

The relationship between delusions and dissociation is something I haven't actually touched on nearly as much as voice hearing, but I did recently come across an article that I think you might be interested in, relating directly to delusions.

It's honestly difficult to tell where a line exist between "delusion" and "dissociation."

I think it's actually interesting how psychology has turned around over time. In the past, it seemed that there was a large contingent who believed OSDD and DID were delusions themselves. But I think a more modern framework shows that many delusions may be dissociative in nature, and a "delusion" of, say, being a doll, could easily qualify as a "personality state" in OSDD and DID.

I would love to see more solidarity between the communities.

Sometimes I feel that there's an intentional distancing here, because words like "delusion" and "hallucination" are seen as bad and invalidating words. I feel it's led to many looking at people diagnosed with psychotic disorders through a lens of seeing their experiences as less real to make their own experiences more legitimate, even as many on the outside would see both groups as equally "crazy."

And yet, the same discussions that we're having in the plural community about not pathologizing headmates, and not judging others for their personal beliefs, have been had about voice hearers in the Hearing Voices Movement since the 80s. They were having these types of discussions before the online plural community even existed.

I think if we want to enact real change, we need to see unity between these groups.

#ask box #syscourse #schizophrenia #delusions #hallucinations #psychosis #hearing voices #plural #endogenic #pro endogenic #plural system #endogenic system #actually endogenic #plurality #actually plural #psychiatry #psychology #mental health

[grad502-mathewhocking]

DESIGN SYSTEM 1

My first draft design system I will bring into class this week is one that uses illustrated characters again. I think this style is very current and seems to be used a lot in products or concepts targeted towards a Gen Z audience. I’ve not seen this kind of style in many other spaces other than European ones so I think it could be interesting (and potentially successful) to introduce an indigenous perspective to it. I spoke to one of my flatmates who is also a Māori artist and she was very supportive about this idea of repurposing this style in our own way. These designs are inspired by the initial research/moodboards I created during the start of semester.

Sketches

Posters

The overall concepts of these posters are heavily inspired by Adam The Illustrator. I’ve not worked in this kind of format before and so these designs reflect a lot of his techniques and layouts which he offers tutorials for via Instagram. If I choose to further this idea I will definitely refurbish things to make them feel more original. I created the characters in Illustrator and then brought them into InDesign to finalise 2x posters. This clean, fun and friendly character style is definitely another way to emphasise the overall intended tone and manner of my campaign. The typefaces I used are Akira Expanded and Pangram Sans Rounded which are very current right now, but I would much rather like to incorporate a typeface created by a Māori designer so that’s something I will have to look into.

The design system happening here basically involves popular topics/activities which are common amongst Gen Z and it’s offering ways in which they can incorporate te reo into these situations - so ordering a coffee or going to a party. The first graphic is a takeaway coffee character and the second graphic is a party hat character which directly relate to each topic/activity. There is a connection with the word ‘time’ as well as the text/QR code at the bottom of the page and overall colour palette. I decided to veer away from the previous colour palette used as I wanted to try something new and also reference the work I researched and documented as part of my moodboards.  Something I’m not sure about and will need to find advice on is if it’s proper to be using both te reo and english in the title. But, in saying that, my decision to do this comes from allowing myself to reclaim reo in a way that is comfortable for me. I like chopping the words together as it feels appropriate to my reo level and it is also something that happens a lot in conversation - just think “Kia ora, how are you?”. The QR code was randomly sourced from online, but in reality would act as a way to scan and hear out or listen to the terms mentioned via an app as pronunciation is very important. I ran out of time so I wasn’t able to include additional text in the pāti time poster.

After creating these posters I’ve noticed I need to - Add a macron to the ‘o’ in mо̄wai - Clean up illustrations (messy lines) - Adjust colour on coffee cup - Alter the straw in liquid to give it more of realistic view where it would be slightly offset - Add text to pāti time poster (ran out of time)

[vinylclimb09]

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#外燴

[felinedetached]

Fandom Ableism in the MCYT Community

[Edited 14 June 2021]

One thing I’ve noticed about the MCYT (Dream SMP, specifically) community on both Tumblr and Twitter is that when informed of things that are ableist, or harmful to ND people, a lot of people ignore the post/tweet, derail it or actively fight against it.

“I’m ND so I can’t be ableist” is a common statement, which is blatantly untrue. Even I’ve used ableist terms and phrases before, without realising they were harmful. So as a neurodivergent person, with autism, BPD, depression/anxiety, dyslexia, psychosis & brain damage*: here’s some common ableist things both CCs and fandom say almost constantly**.

*note that not every neurodivergent person will agree with me on these, but these are commonly ableist things people have previously talked about online, and/or have been discussed between me and other neurodivergent friends. No minority can ever speak for the entire group.

**note that a lot of these are common outside the MCYT community as well, and that some of these are just considered societally acceptable. This isn’t okay, but it explains why a lot of people don’t recognise jokes or comments like these are wrong, and it means that it’s not a direct moral failing of people that they don’t immediately or directly recognise these comments as wrong.

Now, let’s get into the things you might not have realised are potentially ableist:

1. Use of “Psychopath/Psycho/Sociopath/Schizo” and other demeaning terms for people with mental illnesses as insults, or to describe characters who are considered villainous. Psychopath/Psycho/Sociopath are already terms that people with ASPD dislike using, even not as an insult, but using these terms to describe people or characters who you disagree with or see as villainous only contributes to the villainisation of people with ASPD and other mental illnesses. Using c!Dream as an example: Dream as a character is not confirmed to have any of these mental illnesses. He is, however, commonly labeled as psychotic/psychopathic, incapable of any kind of compassion.

He is also a character that fandom largely insists that nobody is allowed to sympathise with. This is a huge issue, and has hurt a lot of people, especially people with low empathy, or mental illnesses that cause them to relate to some of c!Dream’s actions (e.g. pulling away from all his friends, desperately grasping at straws to gain control of situations etc). Insisting that these characters are characters it’s impossible to sympathise with, all while calling them psychotic/psychopathic/sociopathic, is extremely harmful, and I hope this post draws attention to that.

Here’s another post that talks about that.

2. Use of the term “freak”, in general. As an insult, “freak” has been typically used to insult neurodivergent people, people with visible physical disabilities (ex. “freakshow”, and the term was reportedly created with the intent of insulting people with physical disabilities), or people who display any kind of abnormal/atypical social behaviour/physical aspects — people who are usually ND people who lack a diagnosis or people with physical disabilities. Recent usage has come to mean “people who do things that hurt other people”, but this is harmful as well; using words like “freak” or “weirdo” which mean “socially atypical behaviour” to refer to people who are actually doing things that hurt other people conflates the two, and often has a side effect of hurting disabled people who see it.

3. Calling ND ccs like Technoblade monotone/emotionless. While the term “monotone” isn’t ableist in and of itself, the fact that it’s being used against a neurodivergent man who emotes in a different way to neurotypical people rubs a lot of ND people the wrong way. I’ve partially discussed this here, in a tweet responding to a person who said that c!Technoblade, quote, “has no human capabilities like emotion for example”. This, however, is not something contained to c!Technoblade — one of the most common jokes in this fandom is how rare it is to hear emotion in Technoblade’s voice.

The issue with that is that neurodivergent people almost universally agree that Technoblade emotes perfectly fine, and, in fact, emotes more freely and clearly than a lot of others do. Hence, calling him monotone perpetuates the idea of ND people as emotionless/less able to be hurt/less expressive, which often hurts us. It also contributes to the dehumanisation of ND people — related to how ND symptoms are most often seen in robots or monsters in shows — and is generally extremely harmful, on top of being untrue.

4. Related to point 3: the infantilisation of ND ccs like Tubbo and Dream, usually paired with assigning “caretakers” of their friends, like Tommy and George. This is about the posts that spread like “omg, Tommy helps Tubbo with his dyslexia, that’s so cute” or “omg George is so patient with Dream, I could never sit through that” on videos of Dream vocally stimming because of his ADHD. This is another post that talks about this, but I wanted to talk more about why this is harmful here.

4a) With Tubbo’s dyslexia, from someone with dyslexia, it isn’t harmful to correct his spelling and move on. Personally, I think this is helpful — others will think it’s condescending, because not all ND people are the same — but as the above linked post mentions, this is not what Tubbo’s twitch chat does. This is not what the comments say. It’s all things about how it’s “so cute” that Tubbo can’t spell, how Tommy/Ranboo are “so patient” with correcting him. This is rooted in the need to constantly watch over ND people while acting like we can't live our lives without someone having us under constant vigilance. It feels like savior-complex ableism, like people are trying so hard to not be ableist that they spin back around to hurting us instead. And it feels like we are being treated like children. Like we are lesser than, and need to be monitored/watched over.

4b) Similarly to what people do with Tubbo, the comments on posts about Dream’s vocal stimming are often full of people calling George “patient” for “dealing with it”, or claiming they “wouldn’t be able to handle it”. This is inherently ableist. They’re praising George for basic human decency towards ND people, and claiming in the same breath that they wouldn’t be able to do that themselves. And then there’s these.

These comments infantilise Dream — claiming he “wouldn’t be able to stop/calm down” without George’s help, implying he’d “spiral out of control” or claiming “everyone is now my child”. It’s all related to the infantilisation of ND people, and the belief that without help/a caretaker we cannot take care of ourselves.

5. The way people treat ccs who likely have undiagnosed neurodivergencies, like Wilbur. Wilbur has openly admitted on stream before that his parents considered getting him an autism diagnosis. He also openly admits on stream that he has habits he doesn’t understand why he does, and hyperfixates on things for months at a time and doesn’t know why. Posts like this have gone around Tumblr, in which Wilbur displays blatantly ND traits.

And fandom generally calls him weird for expressing those traits. This video where he talks about eating sand because he likes the texture? That’s an ND trait. This video where he talks about his irrational hatred for anteaters? While mostly a joke, irrational hatred of something when you can’t explain/understand/articulate why is also a common ND trait. He spends 20 minutes during a Philza stream info-dumping about self-sustaining ecosystems (sharing the photo, because I think it’s really cool) and fandom begins calling them “Wilbur’s weird jars”. It’s demeaning to people who infodump, and as a ND person who hyperfixates and infodumps it’s really upsetting to see. It’s also upsetting to see other ND traits being called “weird” or “freaky” & made out to be soley some funny joke for NT people to laugh at us about.

Additionally: It’s strange to me that people think it’s okay to make fun of ND traits just because they know that or perceive that the person they’re making fun of is NT. It’s still making fun of ND traits. It’s still insulting ND people. It’s still ableist as hell. Why is it okay just because the person is NT?

6. Implying that c!Ranboo’s enderwalking is inherently violent. Ranboo has shown us time and time again that the enderwalk state isn’t a violent state. That the enderwalk state isn’t a seperate version of c!Ranboo that does horrific things. Why, then, is it so common to imply that Ranboo would be violent and hurt people why he’s enderwalking?

It comes back to the perception of c!Ranboo as a character with “two halves”, or as a character with DID. Ranboo has made it clear that his character does not have DID, but this headcanon about his character persists, and it persists in a way that is directly harmful to people with DID — and to people who dissociate or sleepwalk. We do not commit horrific acts while we dissociate, while we’re sleepwalking, because the majority of the time we’re just checked out, our body is on autopilot. Insinuating that we do is harmful. Insinuating that Ranboo has “another half” that’s inherently violent or evil is harmful to people with DID. I’m not going to ask you to stop writing these headcanons etc, but please consider the effect you have on people before you do.

7. Related to point 6: the perception of c!Ranboo as “soft” and “cute” and/or perfectly moral because of his canonical anxiety. This is really harmful, and comes once again from the infantilisation of disorders like anxiety and depression. Ranboo has made clear time and time again that his character isn’t moral, and in fact is extremely inconsistent. He’s portrayed his character as inconsistent, as someone who hurts his friends unintentionally and often due to his want to please everyone, and yet he’s constantly seen as “soft/pure/the only moral one” because of his anxiety causing to have repeated and consistent spirals on-screen. These spirals are not healthy. They don’t indicate his “perfect morals” or make him more moral than anyone else on the SMP. Please stop infantilising people with anxiety, it’s really hurtful.

8. Implying that c!Technoblade is inherently a violent person because of his voices. I’ll admit here: my hallucinations are visual. I do not get auditory hallucinations, and I cannot speak for people who do. But many people have spoken out about this, and discussed how talking about Technoblade as an inherently violent character because of his voices is harmful, and a stereotype of people with schizophrenia.

Technoblade’s character is, in and of itself, inherently a stereotype (despite the fact that his chat are more likely to be a supernatural entity than a symptom of a disorder such as schizophrenia) in that the idea of “hearing voices that encourage violence” is a stereotype of people with schizophrenia. As an actual symptom, is a very uncommon one. More common auditory hallucinations for people with schizophrenia or psychosis are, reportedly, whispers or unrelated conversation. One of my friends hears screaming.

But the issue is with the implication that c!Technoblade is “driven to violence” by the voices. Canonically, he has dealt with the “bloodlust” of chat by grinding withers. He’s perfectly capable of being peaceful, even with “voices pushing for violence”, and he’s perfectly capable of being violent without the “voices” influence. It’s the connotations and the history that fandom has in demonising and villainising c!Technoblade for even having the “voices” in the first place, and acting having them makes him inherently violent and unstable. There’s precedent for that already in society, and it’s not okay to perpetuate it.

[Edit: as of 22/05/2021, I do experience auditory hallucinations, and I can confirm that I am not any more violent, and the voices I hear don’t push me to violence. The clearest one just said ‘click’ in my ear.]

9. Jokes about brain damage and the use of “brainrot” as a term. I made a post about how common jokes about brain damage are here, and I would like to reiterate bits of it.

Jokes like these are really really normalized in modern society. I’m sure a lot of you didn’t even register it as wrong, and that isn’t a moral failing! It’s a norm in society, and that means the majority of people arent going to register it as something hurtful, because it’s said so often. But it does still hurt. The idea of using a disability as an insult is really harmful and it feels dehumanizing, like our disability makes us lesser, something that should be laughed at.

“Brainrot” as a term originated in Skyrim, as a disease that literally rotted your brain. However, as a term, it has very similar connotations to “brain damaged” and has been used in similarly joking and insulting ways. It’s something that feels really off to me and other neurodivergent people to see used by neurotypical people. It even sometimes feels uncomfortable when used by neurodivergent people, even if it’s used in positive ways. I know quite a few people who have removed it from their vocab completely because of the connotations, and I have personally done the same. Once again, I am just asking you to please consider your words before you use them.

10. Calling c!Wilbur during his Pogtopia Arc “Vilbur”. Yes, he was a villain. Yes, he hurt people. But c!Wilbur during the Pogtopia Arc only has one major difference from c!Wilbur during the L’Manburg Arc: a visible depiction of mental illness, specifically paranoia and psychosis. Treating him as a seperate person and calling that seperate person “Vilbur” comes across as extremely hurtful, and contributes to the villainisation of mentally ill people. His mental illness does not excuse him from hurting people, but calling c!Wilbur “Vilbur” upsets a lot of us, because wether or not it’s intended, it feels reductive, hurtful, and insulting.

If you got to the end of this post, thank you so much for reading. I hope that this helped you recognise things that you might not have known were ableist, and that you consider what I’ve said here. I also know that I haven’t addressed everything ableist that’s spread through the MCYT fandom community, so if you’re ND and have something you’d like to add, please feel free.

#mcyt #dream smp #dreamwastaken #wilbur soot #technoblade #ranboo #tubbo #tagging these bc they're ccs i specifically mention relating to it #ableism tw #the queen's commands #i know this is a long post with a lot of words #(2.2k omg) #i tried to condense it as much as possible while still getting my point across #pls rb this but don't try and derail the post #my last post abt fandom ableism got derailed by ppl who wanted to be anti c!technoblade instead #its rlly sad bc. it feels like #ppl don't care abt ableism. and that sucks #i'm not gonna say you have to rb but it would be nice #if you want me to tag any neg lmk #i will do so #LMAO I DO EXPERIENCE AUDITORY HALLUCINATIONS NOW HELP

[uesp]

Theory: Todd is the sleeping Godhead that we all talk about. Also he achieved absolute CHIM

You're definitely free to come up with whatever theory on that you like, but if you're genuinely curious, I would say you're a bit off from the intended takeaway.

Trying to figure out who the Godhead is a bit of a self-defeating exercise. In fact, to get a bit ahead of the point I'm going to make, it's often easier to describe the One by what he is not. If you're looking at the rare in-series mentions of the Godhead (most of the uses of "godhead" are actually referring to more generic godhood, which is also a more modern form of "godhead"), you come up with two mentions of the Godhead, and only one of them describes the Godhead at all.

The eyes, once bleached by falling stars of utmost revelation, will forever see the faint insight drawn by the overwhelming question, as only the True Enquiry shapes the edge of thought. The rest is vulgar fiction, attempts to impose order on the consensus mantlings of an uncaring godhead.

From Waking Dreams of A Starless Sky

The Godhead is uncaring. And that is basically the depth of actual text on the Godhead. If you go with sources that did not appear in the game, you'll do a bit better, but not really to any satisfying degree. So how do we get a satisfying answer? We escape the confines of the rare and deliberately esoteric mentions of this part of the lore and look at its real-world inspiration. Speaking for myself, the best summary of this part of the lore I ever read is:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gnosticism

Sincerely, after reading that and its associated articles, I went from "wow this is all a bit complex" to "alright, this is surprisingly straightforward". To tangent slightly, while there are numerous fan writings that try to explore these concepts, and I do enjoy a lot of them, I find that some of them often have trouble expressing what it all actually means because they often restrict themselves to the trappings of TES. We're going to remove those trappings, and see if it helps.

If you want more help, here is how I mentally tie some TES lore topics to its real world counterpart.

The Godhead is the Godhead (Monad)

CHIM is Gnosis

CHIM has been described as the secret syllable of royalty. It is best understood as a state of being which allows for escape from all known laws and limitations. It is the process of reaching some sort of epiphany about the nature of the universe and one's place in it, leading to a simultaneous comprehension of the full scope of existence as well as one's own individuality.

Gnosis is the common Greek noun for knowledge. It is best known from Gnosticism, where it signifies a spiritual knowledge or insight into humanity's real nature as divine, leading to the deliverance of the divine spark within humanity from the constraints of earthly existence.

Amaranth is Emanationism

The Tower touches all the mantles of Heaven, brother-noviates, and by its apex one can be as he will. More: be as he was and yet changed for all else on that path for those that walk after. This is the third key of Nu-mantia and the secret of how mortals become makers, and makers back to mortals.

Emanationism is an idea in the cosmology or cosmogony of certain religious or philosophical systems. Emanation, from the Latin emanare meaning "to flow from" or "to pour forth or out of", is the mode by which all things are derived from the first reality, or principle. All things are derived from the first reality or perfect God by steps of degradation to lesser degrees of the first reality or God, and at every step the emanating beings are less pure, less perfect, less divine. Emanationism is a transcendent principle from which everything is derived, and is opposed to both creationism (wherein the universe is created by a sentient God who is separate from creation) and materialism (which posits no underlying subjective and/or ontological nature behind phenomena being immanent).

Anu and Padomay and their derivatives are Aeons

Lorkhan is the Demiurge

Lorkhan, the Missing God, is the Creator-Trickster-Tester deity present in every Tamrielic mythic tradition. He is known as the Spirit of Nirn, the god of all mortals. Names for versions or aspects of Lorkhan include Lorkhaj (the Moon Beast) in Elsweyr, Lorkh, the Spirit of Man, the Mortal Spirit, or the Sower of Flesh to the Reachmen, Sep in Hammerfell, Sheor in High Rock, Shor in Skyrim, and Shezarr in Cyrodiil. He convinced or contrived the Original Spirits (et'Ada) to bring about the creation of the Mundus, upsetting the status quo—much like his (figurative) father Padomay is usually credited for introducing instability, and hence possibility for creation, into the undivided universe (or the Beginning Place).

In the Platonic, Neopythagorean, Middle Platonic, and Neoplatonic schools of philosophy, the demiurge is an artisan-like figure responsible for fashioning and maintaining the physical universe. The Gnostics adopted the term demiurge. Although a fashioner, the demiurge is not necessarily the same as the creator figure in the monotheistic sense, because the demiurge itself and the material from which the demiurge fashions the universe are both considered consequences of something else. Depending on the system, they may be considered either uncreated and eternal or the product of some other entity.

The word demiurge is an English word derived from demiurgus, a Latinised form of the Greek δημιουργός or dēmiurgós. It was originally a common noun meaning "craftsman" or "artisan", but gradually came to mean "producer", and eventually "creator". The philosophical usage and the proper noun derive from Plato's Timaeus, written c. 360 BC, where the demiurge is presented as the creator of the universe. The demiurge is also described as a creator in the Platonic (c. 310–90 BC) and Middle Platonic (c. 90 BC – AD 300) philosophical traditions. In the various branches of the Neoplatonic school (third century onwards), the demiurge is the fashioner of the real, perceptible world after the model of the Ideas, but (in most Neoplatonic systems) is still not itself "the One". In the arch-dualist ideology of the various Gnostic systems, the material universe is evil, while the non-material world is good. According to some strains of Gnosticism, the demiurge is malevolent, as it is linked to the material world. In others, including the teaching of Valentinus, the demiurge is simply ignorant or misguided.

I think that by seeing these concepts side by side it will help make sense of it all. You can definitely research this further, and argue that specific parts of the lore are more directly related to other concepts, but from my limited understanding of theology/philosophy, this is a framework for understanding what the lore was based on, and the ideas that might otherwise go unconnected. If you can do better than me here, by all means, be better than me.

But this takes us to the secret question within all of this: How does this effect the setting? The answer to that is that it really doesn't. Knowing that the setting of The Elder Scrolls is the material world created by the Demiurge, separating its inhabitants from the Godhead, doesn't really change anything. After all, you can literally say the exact same thing about our world. The presence of these concepts in The Elder Scrolls setting should change how you appreciate it in roughly the same way that this school of thought existing in our own world changes your view on our setting.

If you thought this was interesting, I certainly agree with you. If you think this is all a bit too much, and don't want to think about it anymore, you won't be missing out on much by ignoring it going forward. If you want to explore different theories on this, you’re definitely free too, I hope you enjoy exploring your own thoughts on this subject.

#UESP #The Elder Scrolls #Lore #Real Life Lore

[earthstellar]

Language in TFP

A couple things I’ve been thinking about lately: 

1) We aren’t sure how the translation process/language learning process is for Cybertronians, even though there are several effective and reasonably plausible ways for them to have learnt English. 

They also might look things up in real time fast enough to learn on the go to supplement base knowledge-- It’s handy when your brain is basically a high end computer! 

But what we do absolutely know is that they’re not organic.

So how do they replicate the sounds of human speech, which are highly dependent on our actual physiology? We know that in some TF media, Cybertronians have a tongue equivalent (glossa), but is that the case in TFP? I can’t recall ever seeing a bot stick out their tongue or ever seeing one when their mouths are open wide, like when yelling. 

So there may be a real physical difficulty for them when speaking English, at least at first. The effectivity or accuracy of work-arounds may vary. 

For example, can a Cybertronian replicate a glottal stop effectively? So many human speech sounds depend on the glottis, something they don’t have, but may have an equivalent for. We don’t know exactly. 

--

2) There are some concepts and words that would just not translate, and some concepts that are familiar but so different with humans that it would be completely bizarre to them. 

We see this a little bit when Ultra Magnus asks Optimus what a kilt is after Agent Fowler mentions it, and Optimus admits he has no clue. 

Clothes, or items like shoes, etc. are all totally foreign as concepts to Cybertronians. 

Food items or similar are somewhat irrelevant to them, so they might struggle with that in terms of building vocabulary; In TFP they have one primary source of fuel, energon, although it does have variations like engex and other refined forms. We never see them eat solids of any kind in TFP that I can recall. 

But I can imagine them initially being surprised at learning about humans and human language, and how extremely different life forms on Earth are and how the language reflects that. 

Arcee: “I did a little drive around to check out the locals. They have this place called a cafe where they source their fuel, like a canteen or bar, but they seem to be able to eat pretty much anything, so I’m not sure what they were doing. Maybe a social ritual. It was weird, they seemed to go in and out pretty quickly...  Maybe they don’t like to eat around others? Do we know if humans are defensive over food? They all looked different, maybe they only eat around their own group or something.” 

Ratchet: “Pff, nonsense. These are organics, if the rest of the organic land animals we’ve seen on this planet so far are anything to go by, they have a primary diet of grasses or plant matter, perhaps mild carnivorous tendencies, something along those lines. The humans aren’t so different from the other organic life here, they just appear to have higher cognitive functions. Biologically--” 

Arcee: “I did some recon and found this.” (Shows a paper take out menu.) 

Ratchet: “These are all ingestible??? They can fuel themselves with ALL OF THIS????? Beings so tiny... I wouldn’t have imagined. Although I suppose it makes sense, they must require more energy than other smaller, simpler organics. Is this desert area so barren because they’ve stripped it of nutrient giving material? How do they process or store it all?” 

Optimus: “We should be careful not to transgress on any contested or sensitive human territories. It is good to learn more about the native life before we attempt to engage with them directly; This is potentially valuable cultural information. Well done, Arcee.” 

Bulkhead: (Looking at the menu) “They have 50 different words for fuel fluids alone! THEY HAVE 50 DIFFERENT FUEL FLUIDS!” 

Ratchet: “Remarkable... What is [coffee]?” (looks it up) “THE HUMANS ENGAGE IN WIDESPREAD CASUAL DRUG USE ???” 

--

3) We don’t know about how age (hardware age, age overall, etc.) affects Cybertronians in regards to mental acuity as it relates to language learning. Would older Cybertronians have somewhat more difficulty adapting to using a new language, or a completely different language like ones spoken by organics due to the possible difficulty in physically replicating some sounds-- Even if their processors don’t actually struggle all that much in regards to learning it, and adapting to using it was the primary struggle?  

My great-Grandma spoke Slovakian and learned English later in life; She did well, but as anyone who knows multiple languages or is from a bilingual family knows, often vocabulary was forgotten momentarily in one language or the other, so it would just be substituted with the right word in whatever language it could be remembered in at the moment. Sometimes it just happens no matter how fluent or how experienced with a language someone gets. 

Where I’m going with this, is that I really like the idea of Ratchet sometimes getting frustrated with English and just using a Cybertronian word instead, but then refusing to mention it or translate it because it’s one of the few ways in which his age shows so he tries to just cover it up. Or if he does acknowledge it, he tries to keep it on the down low, but every now and then you just hear him yell a random word and you know it’s because he just remembered it. 

I recall in S3 when Raf mentions Ratchet has been teaching him Cybertronian, at least the text form of it, to assist with tech work at the base...

But that might also result in cultural etc. language concept problems, too! Just the other direction.

Ratchet: *tries to casually, secretly slide up to Raf despite being the boxiest bot in the base* “Hello Rafael, may I interrupt briefly?” 

Raf: “Yes, Ratchet? I'm working on--”

Ratchet: “What is the word for 01010101010″ 

Raf: “...I have no idea. Can you describe it?” 

Ratchet: “You know when you get some wear and tear around the edges of your armour, perhaps some damage from the elements, and you need to debride, treat, repaint, and replace the sealant?”

Raf: “Uh, no.” 

Ratchet: “FFFFF OPTIMUS WHAT IS 010101010″

Optimus: “Rust.” 

Ratchet: “RUST” 

idk I just think it’s fun to think about space robots having to cope with weird human stuff 

#tfp #transformers prime #transformers #tfp ratchet #tfp Optimus prime #tfp arcee #tfp bulkhead #raf esquivel #tfp headcanons #analysis #maccadam #maccadams

[shazos]

Rouxls is Hiding Something Big: A Deltarune Theory

FORENOTE- For some needed context, it may help reading my previous Deltarune theory here for important details that I will cover in this post. (My previous theory provides notable evidence on why Gaster is indeed the “Knight” figure talked about by multiple characters in Deltarune.)

Now, this is going to sound crazy. But after much time of poring over and analyzing Deltarune, I have come to a conclusion. One that I’ve been convinced of for awhile now. Something that’s been lying right under all of our noses without many of us even realizing it. We have all been bamboozled. Hoodwinked. Tricked. Why, you may ask?

Because the comically stupid and inept Duke of Puzzles is actually... not an idiot. No, he’s the complete opposite. He is a downright mastermind.

As collective players, we are all falling into the same trap once again. Putting faith into a character’s preconceived personality !

When their true personality turns out the complete opposite of what we expected...

It is here, my evidence for this claim begins—and we delve into the true identity of Rouxls Kaard. Buckle up everyone, cause this one’s gonna be a fun ride. 👀

So, to spill the beans up front, and get it over with. I believe Rouxls Kaards identity... is none other than W.D. Gaster in disguise.

Now. I didn’t immediately become invested in this theory—I was skeptical at first like everyone else. But, once I began examining Deltarune and all of its characters a bit closer...things weren’t exactly adding up about the Duke of Puzzles.

Point #1: Anagrams

I initially began to become suspicious of Rouxls Kaard because of his odd name. Sure, it is a play on the words of the term, “Rules card”. But it is spelt in such a peculiar way. If it were just simply a play on words, I think that there would be a much better way of going about spelling it rather than just jumbling a bunch of random letters together. There is a very intriguing reddit post found here that goes more into depth about his name that ties well into my theory. The thing that stood out to me in particular, is that Rouxls’s name is actually also an anagram for “A Dark Soul RX”, (with the left over RX typically being used in terms relating to doctors/medicine.) Not only is Gaster a Doctor, but he’s also always associated with darkness and the research of souls. Toby loves his anagrams—so I wouldn’t be surprised in the slightest if this was intentional. But it doesn’t end there.

I’ve noticed that Toby Fox has a tendency to tease certain things about his games through merch. And wouldn’t you know it—he has in fact, a particular item on fangamer of a “dark heart.” One which description describes the Angel’s Prophecy. Hm...

But let’s back on track onto my second observation, shall we?

Point #2: The Physical Resemblance to Gaster

Now, there seems to be some interesting foreshadowing related to inverted colors in Deltarune. Before Ralsei takes his hat off, he appears black. But once he takes his hat off, voila, his colors are inverted, and he is revealed to actually be a white goat highly resembling Asriel.

In addition, the entire Dark World is literally just. An inverted version of a normal world.

The Dark World could have hypothetically been the created world/experiment that Gaster had fallen into in the first place. After all, his experiment had to do with “darkness”, and “negative” photons--AKA the Dark Fountains, and the negatively/inverted landscapes of the Dark World.

And how does Rouxls Kaard appear inverted anyways? Well, he looks like THIS.

He even has the strange dangling lip thing—which another character said to directly resemble Gaster, Seam, has as well:

In addition, if you look at Rouxls’ text-box profile very closely, his eye colors are actually mismatched which is a rather interesting detail!

Point # 3: His Accent is Extremely put on.

I think anybody that has read any sort of Shakespearean/Old English writing, can instantly realize that Rouxls is as bad as imitating an Old English accent as a high-schooler reading Hamlet for the first time. Rouxls absolutely butchers it. He practically adds eth, and est at the end of any word he chooses, and calls the job done. What is even more interesting though, is when he gets nervous or panicked, he drops the act all together and talks normally.

Point #4: He is Pretending to be Dumb; His Puzzles are Actually Impressive!

I found it intriguing how there are countless puzzle traps in all the forest areas and in the Card Castle prison that were actually very well done. You have to flip the spades, diamonds, hearts, etc to unlock doors, and open secret chests. They require a decent amount of thinking skills, and are actually competent. But who made them?? Oddly enough if you observe one of them in the forest areas, it appears that Rouxls Kaard vandalized one of the puzzles to make it harder for the player to beat it—which further implies that he actually indeed made those puzzles himself. This shows that Rouxls is much more competent than only being able to make a single box shove puzzle that is comically easy. Where else do we see a place full of plenty of rather well made puzzles + traps seen? All throughout the Core in Undertale—a place which Gaster himself created!

Point #5: Rouxls IS Aware the World is a Game--AKA DON’T FORGET TO READ NPC DIALOGUE FOLKS!

I think it is well aware by now that Rouxls likely wants us as the players to underestimate him--and deem him a fool so we wouldn’t bat an eye at what he’s actually up to. But the most biggest give away to this is something that I have surprisingly seen no one mention at all. And oh boy, it is the most damning evidence that Rouxls is no idiot to be trifled with.

To the left of Seam’s shop, there can be found a little group of former puzzle-makers that used to live at Card Castle, until they were fired and replaced with Rouxls Kaard. They are now all out of a job, and are just barely scraping by since the Spade King didn’t give them any severance pay. However, Rouxls Kaard offered them a way to get money--by selling the tutorials he made.

These tutorials go over TP, stats, information about Susie, Ralsei,  and Kris. Rouxls Kaard has never once met any of the players yet--and he knows everything about them. He knows about stats. He knows the world is a game.

HOW??

In addition, when you talk to Rouxls in his shop, he calls you three the Heroes of Legend. He is well aware of the Angel’s Prophecy. He knows.

Whenever any character in the world of Undertale & Deltarune knows that the world is a game, it is an instant red-flag. It goes to show that they know much more than they let on. Flowey and Sans are big examples of this in Undertale. Pure hearted, dorky idiots that we trust earlier in the game--but wind up seeing the real side of them later on.

...So why should we treat Rouxls any differently?

Point #6: The “Control Crown”

Something that I immediately thought was kind of weird, was the fact that Rouxls Kaard was able to control the K. Round with a “Control Crown” device. If he is so stupid, how was he able to create a full on mechanical device that can brainwash a life-form into being violent/cause it to triple in size?! That is genius material right there!

But things start to take on a much darker side when you begin to look at the subtext of this realization, which I will get to in a moment...

First of all, Seam claimed these exact words.

The remaining king was the Spade King-- as the King of Hearts, Diamonds, and Clubs are seen to be locked up in the Dungeon. Therefore, the Spade King put the Knight, and his strange son into power. IF it were the Spade King in power, the dialogue box WOULD have said “himself”. Therefore, the Knight, and his strange son were put in place to control the kingdom. And who are they?

Gaster/Rouxls Kaard, and Lancer.

Evidence to back this up:

Lancer calls Rouxls his “Lesser Dad”. And Rouxls calls Lancer, his Strange little darling/son.

The Spade King is not in charge. During his boss-fight, he states that he obeys the word of the Knight.

If you observe more of Lancer’s dialogue in the scene right before the gang enters Card Castle, he states that his dad, (Spade King), recently forced his troops to listen to Lancer instead. Therefore, Lancer is by all respects actually second in command to the Knight.

One of Rouxls main interests is...Lawmaking. Even though he is just supposedly an innocent Duke of Puzzles.

Another one of Rouxls main interests is...Cages, and long strolls in the dungeon... 

There are innocent puzzle-makers locked up in the Prison who are terrified--they were arrested for the simple act of making a puzzle without a license. HM, I wonder who could have possibly locked them up? *Wink wink nudge nudge*

And what ties this all together, is perhaps the most obscure, tiniest detail that no one would have likely observed on a first play-through. If you go to the first floor of Card Castle and click the description tablet next to the elevator to the Prison, it claims that the Prison used to just be a Basement Which Just Happened to Have a Lot of Cages. This is backed up by the caged animals in the basement, who say that they miss the “good old days” when they used to be the only ones there in cages, and not a bunch of people behind bars.

In summary, Rouxls is locking up a bunch of innocent people, and playing nice to our faces. He IS the knight. And he is not to be underestimated.

Point #7: Rouxls’ Plan is Already Set in Place

The part where this theory gets a little dark, ties back to my mentioning of the control crown earlier.

If you observe the throne room, it looks like it was recently torn apart in a sort of...conflict.

Why was the Spade King the only king left un-caged to begin with? Why wasn’t he locked up too?

Well...Rouxls Kaard needed someone to put him in charge. But not only that—he needed a scapegoat. Someone to blame. Someone to be “The Bad Guy” for the Heroes to fight.

The Spade King...is actually innocent. He is obeying the Knight, because he is being controlled by a Control Crown. The throne room is in ruins because the Spade King likely fought against this at first, but Rouxls won and successfully put the Spade King under his command. I thought it was strange how the King was so...violent. So irredeemably evil, and even murderous toward his own son Lancer. Yes, it could be argued that this is indeed his true personality, that he is a complete, abusive jerk. But, the whole ending battle of Deltarune chapter 1 feels so...set up in a way? It feels so starkly good vs evil, black and white. Almost like a play.

And oh boy. I think I was onto something.

If you pay close attention to the fight with the Spade King, there is a brief moment at the beginning where he is completely shrouded in shadow. Except. For. His. Crown. It glows stark white in comparison to himself. Like a Chekov’s Gun if you will.

And even more interesting, in the supposed good/pacifist ending, the Spade King is locked up in Prison, the other three kings are still locked up in cages, everyone else is freed, and Rouxls and Lancer now have full control of the kingdom...

Guys. We just played right into Gaster’s hands.

Point #8: Seam Knows that Rouxls is the Knight...

The final observation that genuinely makes me convinced in this theory, is a small detail I noticed at the end of the Pacifist run of Deltarune. Once you have beaten the game, and all of the prisoners are freed, everyone comes to celebrate at Card Castle for your victory. Everyone, except for Seam. That is because Seam knows what the “Strange Knight” did to Jevil. He knows who the Strange Knight is. And he knows what the Knight’s true intentions are.

Point #9: Extra Tidbits I noticed:

When compared to the other denizens of card castle, Rouxls seems out of place. He is the one vaguely humanoid character among a bunch of card and chess themed Darkners. 

His puzzle is... too easy.

Rouxls is oddly excited about overthrowing the king/taking his place. 

Rouxls is well versed in calligraphy of all things. (Relation to fonts + letters.)

Rouxls “sparkles” have an odd resemblance to the shining save states...?

He makes pop culture references, such as ones seen here and here. Could just be random throwaway jokes, but often times more “aware” characters such as Sans and Papyrus are keen on breaking the fourth wall at times/making references to relate with the audience.

His hair looks strangely out of place. Especially the hairline which is really receded to an unnatural degree on the left side. It’s a wig guys...

He gets a suspiciously new position for no reason at all. In any normal situation, he would be extremely unqualified for it if he were as stupid as he makes himself out to be.

Rouxls is literally wearing armor, akin to a medieval knights.

If you pay close attention, Rouxls has a few very subtle similar speech patterns to Gaster. They both occasionally repeat words twice. They both use the words wonderful and truly a lot, etc.

When Kris and the gang beat the K. Round, Rouxls said it was just to test their abilities.

Rouxls theme has leitmotifs from Gaster’s theme.

End of discussion. Deltarune’s finale is legit going to be Gaster getting his wig snatched.

#deltarune #deltarune theory #Undertale theory #rouxls kaard #gaster #Undertale #aa this was a fun theory to make #So many interesting plot details

[thickenmyblood]

hey maca :)) I have sth that I’d love to hear your input on! (wall of text incoming so beware- I’m absolutely not mad if you don’t want to answer lmao). Basically it’s about how you portray women in your works and to what extent you see that portrayal mirrored in the canon books. I have noticed that a lot of writers tend to go a traditional route with for example daughters not being heirs like you also mentioned in an answer for a wtsioa ask on here. Considering the cultures Vere and Akielos are based on that’s obviously very logical and a lot of authors (including you) make it work fantastically! Yet personally I never got the vibe of Vere and Akielos being as patriarchal in canon, mostly because the Information we get is kind of confusing. On one hand damen is a walking manosphere (and. all of Akielos in general as well) without any prominent female figures in his life but on the other hand damen only ever speaks appreciatively of for example the female vaskian warriors. Both countries seem to ban women from the army yet Damen also refers to a warrior queen. The regent is a total misogynist but with the wording Laurent uses it almost seems like that is more the exception and not the general rule of veretian court life. Both countries also have ties to Vask, an exclusive matriarchy and Akielos is said to be similar to Patras which Pacat has stated is also partly a strong matriarchy due to vaskian occupations in the past. I could go on for a lot longer but I guess that damens overall positive attitude towards women and especially stereotypically spoken masculine women is what sticks out the most to me. It just seems kind of misplaced in a world that supposedly is as sexist as the original cultures from our world. Which is why I’d say both countries do have gender roles but are overall a lot more egalitarian than their respective real world og cultures. But that’s only my take and I’d love to hear more on what others think about the portrayal of women in canon and how they chose to portray it in fanfiction. Love you and your new work, hope you’re doing well❤️

HELLO!!! Thank you for asking me interesting stuff :, ) you always have the best questions and my sad little inbox is open to you any time, friend. I divided this into parts, so:

My portrayal of women: I need to work on this a lot lmao. I’m not proud of any female character I have ever written for this fandom, and I’m also not proud to say I struggle horribly when it comes to writing female OCs, especially if the story is not about a female character that is a literal projection of me. Or Bella Swan (yes, Twilight literally shaped my sad little brain and the way I write and consume fiction).

Authors writing female characters in a “traditional” way (for fantasy settings): I can’t speak for other authors but I definitely think, in my case, that using the “it’s a patriarchal society, women have no rights, women can’t be heirs, etc.” blueprint is a matter of being lazy. It’s quick, and easy, and it’s been done before so we all know how it works and a) it’s unlikely that you’ll mess it up (in the plot hole kind of way) and b) it’s obvious that most readers know how the usual system works and so you don’t have to spend paragraphs or even chapters explaining it to them. I am very lazy when it comes to world-building for fics. Why? Because when I’m writing fanfiction I don’t give two shits about the world, I just care about the characters doing Things and having Feelings. The moment you start to question these issues (a society where women can join the army, where they can be heirs, where maybe they can have multiple husbands, etc.) a billion issues arise because it’s not the “usual way” and so you’ll have to deal with “unusual problems”. See: plot holes, info-dumping, etc.

Vere and Akielos in canon: I think the books get very, very confusing at times when it comes to gender roles in that specific world. They also get very confusing about how royalty works, in my opinion. So:

Damen never mentions female influences in his life, not even nannies or wetnurses or anything. He mentions past queens and his mother, but even then… It’s always struck me as “what the actual fuck” that we get no information on Egeria. In TSP, he doesn’t even read as curious to me, especially when I think of that line that goes something like “oh, well, he’d never asked how tall she was”.

Then you have Jokaste, who is highborn and also… perhaps trained in politics? It’s unclear to me if she’s ever been directly involved in meetings or been an active member of the Council or even been allowed to study these issues. Clearly, she’s smart and capable and cunning, but like… how? Did she have private tutors? Is she a self-made woman? Like, what’s up with that? Are women allowed to engage in public politics? Are they allowed to be kyroi?

IMO, Damen complimenting the female warriors in Vask has to do with how appreciative he is of war-related stuff. Like, he thinks people with his own qualities are neat. We see this time and time again in the books—having honor, being brave, respecting one’s family, protecting those who need protecting… He compliments these things when he sees them in others, especially in Laurent. Obviously one of the big changes in Damen as a character is that he goes from being daddy’s boy to being like “well, actually… maybe war isn’t always the answer, and maybe war isn’t always honorable”. The Vaskian warriors prove themselves worthy of praise in a “manly” way, if that makes sense. (In the same way, Laurent proves himself in the Okton, not so much to Damen but to other Akielons). So, in essence, War > Any issues he may have about women doing Stuff.

Don’t judge me for this but I can’t remember the Regent talking about women. Do you have any quotes about that? I feel like Book 1 is super rich when it comes to world-building stuff and yet it’s the book I remember the least. I know he obviously has a preference for boys and not girls, but I don’t recall him having interactions with Vannes or ladies at court? I’M SORRY I’M SO STUPID but I don’t own the book so I can’t exactly word search my way out of this one, and so instead of saying stupid stuff, I’m asking anyone reading this (lol, you and my mom probably) to please tell me what canon says on this issue.

Ties to Vask: Er, yeah, I mean… They’re clearly not at war with Vask and have some sort of economic deal (there are Vaskian pets in Arles? Which makes me wonder if they, like, buy them from Vask? Or if the pets are Vaskian and turn into pets in Vere? Slaves are not like pets so I don’t know?), BUT just because they have deals with this kingdom/are on good terms with the ruler does not mean they necessarily approve? Like, maybe they’re like “yeah, it’s weird they give women so much power, but also I need that silk/leather/WHATEVER, so I’ll shut up about that”.

“Akielos is said to be similar to Patras which Pacat has stated is also partly a strong matriarchy due to Vaskian occupations in the past.” Is this in the books or is this something she said in an interview/post-releasing the trilogy? I know in the books there’s a quote that Akielos and Patras are similar because they both have slaves, but other than that I can’t quite remember anything about Patras? Like, I don’t recall Pacat giving us extensive and thorough world-building on either nation, at all. Once again, I am asking you for more explanations on this because I literally don’t remember.

4. My opinion and a Stupidity Disclaimer: As I’ve said above, there’s a lot of stuff I don’t remember and so I’m not trying to preach to anyone reading this or even saying that I hold the truth about… anything. I’m answering questions as I see fit and asking more questions when I run out of answers.

I believe world-building is not one of Captive Prince’s strong points. I will not elaborate on this because this is already long enough but there is simply, in my opinion, not enough material to reach any solid conclusions when it comes to world-building questions such as the role of women in Vere and Akielos, how compulsory homosexuality affects the development of highborn men and women in Vere, exactly what makes Akielos’ view on women different from Vere’s (if there’s any difference at all), the history of gender roles in this world and how it’s evolved up until canon, how Lamen can solve the heir issue without recurring to, once again, “the usual stuff” (concubines, bastards, marriage to women, etc.). It’s clear from what I’ve read that Pacat has come a long way as a writer and that her new trilogy has a lot more in-depth explanations to world-building questions, but this is not the case with CP, and so I’m afraid my answer to most of this is “I don’t know, and I don’t think anyone can know for sure”.

Lastly, I think I struggle a lot with understanding the role of women in this universe because I simply did not see enough women doing stuff, so I don’t know what’s permitted, what’s unacceptable, what’s illegal, what is straight-up execution worthy, etc. This is not me complaining about the lack of female characters in CP, at all, which I know is contradictory to stuff I’ve said in the past (I answered a couple asks a year ago about how I’d wished we’d gotten Vannes’ POV or Jokaste’s POV in the short stories). I’ve changed my mind, and so I think Pacat is entitled to write whatever she wants, just like I’m entitled to talk shit about KR with any living soul who will listen lmao.

To end this on a spicy note, I think sometimes we consume the wrong media and then complain because it doesn’t have what we wanted. If you’re looking for a trilogy with strong, fleshed-out female characters, Captive Prince is not for you. If you’re looking for a trilogy on female struggles and, I don’t know, defying… the male gaze… Captive Prince is not for you. There are plenty of books out there that focus exclusively on female characters, featuring sapphic relationships, and dealing with gender issues. WHICH IS NOT TO SAY WE SHOULDN’T BE HAVING THESE DISCUSSIONS. This is not about this particular question, but more about a lot of posts I’ve seen floating around… complaining about Pacat’s writing and the themes she didn’t explore.

If anyone has made it this far, thank you for reading, and know this is NOT me telling you what to think. This post is an open question that anyone can engage with, although I hope people will engage with this directly and on this platform, instead of… taking it somewhere else where I sadly can’t engage back! Unlike what happened with our awesome fat Laurent discussion, I will be replying to any questions I get on this (Note: I did not reply to most of those questions because a long time had passed and they were sort of repetitive).

#caramellaurent #captive prince #i'm using the main tag because i think... maybe someone has answers? #also lol melli i see what u did here... u're distracting me from writing for the bang #i see how it is #discourse #is this discourse tho? #it's just me asking stuff #discourse (questioned)