#out of context i realize this scene might not make much sense

[microclown]

I was rewatching s1e3 and something finally clicked for me..

Please forgive me if this seems obvious to you. It helps me to type out my thoughts, but I'm sure I'm just an idiot and no one else needs this explained to them, lol. That said - I was always slightly confused by the emotional weight of the holy water arc during the flashback sequence. Particularly I was confused by how angry Crowley got when Aziraphale referred to their relationship as fraternizing in the 1862 fight. I mean, "to associate or form a friendship with someone, especially when one is not supposed to" is exactly what they are doing, right? So why the 80 year breakup?

Crowley says he wants the holy water for if "it" all goes pear shaped. The phrasing is necessarily vague, and could mean lots of things. Since I know what he eventually uses it for, I was thinking about it in the context of Armageddon, or maybe more generally and vaguely about Crowley not always choosing to go along with Hell, and associating with Aziraphale. But there was not much reason for Crowley to already be thinking about Armageddon back then.

As we know from the full diary entry Neil posted, the timeline of the Edinburgh entry, and the cut bookshop opening scene, it seems like Crowley and Aziraphale were spending A LOT of time together by the 1800's. When Crowley is pulled back down to Hell in 1827, he learns that Hell is paying more attention to him than he'd previously thought. Crowley realizes at this point that spending so much time with Aziraphale is actively putting him in real danger. He recognizes that, and instead of breaking things off, or seeing Aziraphale less, he doubles down. If this relationship is dangerous, then he wants the tools to fight for it.

That's what I think I didn't get about the holy water request. It's not just general insurance, it's specifically insurance for if Hell finds out about him and Aziraphale. It's also a super vulnerable request because in making it, Crowley is openly acknowledging how important their relationship is to him. Aziraphale casually brings up the arrangement at the beginning of the conversation, and that's part of it, right? Because the whole basis of their relationship is the arrangement. It continues to be the pretense under which they meet, despite the relationship clearly having developed beyond that. And the arrangement, as Crowley proposed it in 537, is born out of convenience, and the assumption that Heaven and Hell would never notice anyway.

Crowley's request for insurance breaks that facade. He's acknowledging that it's not convenient, or safe, but he wants to do it anyway, despite the risk.

Aziraphale, on the other hand, is not ready for the screen to be taken away so abruptly. To make it worse, he assumes Crowley wants the holy water as an escape, rather than a weapon. Suddenly he is confronted with both the danger their association poses, and the idea that Crowley might choose to take his own life. He can't imagine the guilt of being directly responsible for the latter.

I also think the strength of his own emotional response to the thought of losing Crowley catches Aziraphale off guard. He hasn't admitted to himself how much he actually cares, and it scares him. Worrying about Heaven is more comfortable and familiar, so he falls back on that and switches to "If they knew I'd been... fraternizing!"

But bringing up the threat of Heaven reads to Crowley as Aziraphale saying "You may be willing to put yourself at risk for the sake of our relationship, but I am not." The word choice of "fraternizing" comes off as a dismissive and demeaning way to describe a relationship that Crowley just admitted he would risk his life for.

It's an unintentionally deep cut when Crowley is already at his most vulnerable, and so he lashes out. As far as we've seen, this is possibly the first time Crowley has truly lashed out at Aziraphale. So yeah, 80 year breakup makes sense!

And what makes this so much worse is what happens next. Crowley reaches out again in 1941 with a dramatic gesture (rescuing Aziraphale from the Nazis, saving his books). It's clear they've missed each other. They don't discuss the fight, but it's there subtextually. Aziraphale, tentatively and thrillingly, refers to them as friends, for the first time ever. He tells Crowley that he trusts him.

And then, that very same night their worst fears are confirmed. Just when they've finally reconciled a fight over the dangers of their relationship, and just when Aziraphale has finally admitted that it is not a relationship of convenience, but genuine friendship, they are exposed. Crowley is going to face punishment from Hell, explicitly for being Aziraphale's "trusted confident", and he doesn't have insurance. If Aziraphale's trick hadn't succeeded, Crowley would have had no way to protect himself.

idk it just makes me feel things ok

#good omens #ineffable husbands #aziraphale #crowley #aziracrow

[bingiessm]

WARNING, LONG POST

Hello, welcome to the Bridgerton Season 3 trailer over-analysis corner. I am bingiessm--a film student that needs an outlet right now and wants to practice some film analysis--and am here to bring forth the FIRE/FLAME/CANDLE motif that was all over this trailer and I feel will be a HUGE motif throughout this season for Penelope and Colin (Polin).

So within the Polin context, let's look at each shot where a flame of a candle or lack thereof could represent their romantic interest in one another--and in particular the understanding/recognition of it.

This show is going all out putting candles EVERYWHERE--yes it was actual lighting in regency era, but you don't have to have it in the shot. That is a CHOICE. Also a choice to have it lit or not.

Also, "I burn for you" anyone?

FIRST SHOT: somewhat obvious but considering the context of both the mirror as well as other future shots within this trailer, this flame represents the feelings Penelope has for Colin, that she is well aware of and has held for a long while.

I also just have an inkling that she is seeing herself differently in this moment (feeling something for the first time possibly)--the way Nicola looks feels shocked/contemplative, but not scared as if it might be Whistledown-related.

SECOND SHOT: they are outside, talking about Penelope being a "lost cause." WHY IS THERE AN UNLIT CANDLE IN A MARKET STALL, if not to represent some unrealized feelings on Colin's part? It is also on his side of the frame. This is similar to this next one, both of which I believe are earlier in the season, as this is the start of him "helping" her.

THIRD SHOT: Once again, right there on Colin's side of the frame, YOU DID NOT NEED THIS IN THE FOREGROUND. It was a CHOICE to put a candle there again. They could have not had it, yes the shot would have had less depth and this does give a better sense of the space, placing them in a corner of the room instead of in an open space--but they didn't need to make it another CANDLE.

Colin has not fully recognized his feelings for Penelope yet, though they have always been there, and these two shots demonstrate that lack of understanding/feeling, but one that is soon to come with an unlit candle.

FOURTH SHOT: this, in the timing of the trailer, does come before the third, but RIGHT THERE IS A MIRROR AND CANDLES. It is on Penelope's side of the frame, but Colin, the mirror, and candles are what is in focus. She might be center frame, but we are drawn to the light as well as the contrast in Colin's outfit. This could arguably be Penelope's perspective, her burning feelings as he compliments her--also her future (we all want that mirror scene).

FIFTH SHOT: a HUGE TURNING POINT--a small flame, barely noticeable suddenly burning brighter as we focus on Colin in the background. This is so clearly him realizing his feelings for Penelope. It is also at the midpoint/turning point of the trailer when there is a big tonal shift. There is no more talk of Colin helping Penelope, but a larger focus on his perspective of her (all the gazing), the idea of romance, as well as mention of Debling--his rival. It will be a turning point for Colin when Debling--an actual suitor vying for Penelope's hand--comes into the picture. EDIT: Also going to add in, the candle is in a lantern--though that might have been easier to manage filming-wise--which could also represent him still holding back, especially with Debling in the picture.

SIXTH SHOT: This comes right after we hear Debling say "You look especially beautiful tonight, Miss Featherington." One of the many examples of Colin staring at the two of them, being jealous/worried. But right behind him? Oh, more candles. That they totally didn't need to have in the frame. Also, it doesn't look so much like a candle, but they are placed so close to one another that it looks like more of a flame. The lack of focus adds to this.

THEN WE GET TO THIS FINAL SEQUENCE--which imo is a FANTASY SEQUENCE

SEVENTH SHOT: Colin is coming from the darkness, with an unseen flame flickering directly behind him (small ember that he can't see).

EIGHTH SHOT: Penelope, also coming out of the dark, but with another flame on (what in this sequence is) her side of the frame. Though it is somewhat hidden behind these bars--some rough patches/guarded emotions? (probably depends on what point this is in the series).

NINTH SHOT: Penelope, already in the light of these fires, Colin entering with the large burning flame in the background covered by some growth.

TENTH SHOT: Penelope, lit by these fires, breathing heavily. A very clear close-up with so much blur to focus just on her face.

ELEVENTH SHOT: Colin, with a flickering/burning flame literally right behind him, lit by these other fires, staring right at Penelope.

So this whole sequence, in my opinion, is a dream sequence. But, in terms of this flame representation, this is Colin realizing he has feelings for Penelope. We see the flickering from the unseen light behind him in the seventh shot build and become the flame right behind him in the eleventh. It feels so obviously representative of the season. (The fog also seems to lift for him in this sequence, he comes out of the fog to Penelope--I could say more about this sequence and why I do think it is Colin's dream, mostly due to costuming and lighting and the fog as well) ______________________

And thus comes to a close my analysis/evidence of the FLAME/FIRE motif between Polin. I am cutting myself off here because this is a lot and I have an actual film shoot to plan. Thank you if you actually read all this. I love film analysis and Bridgerton is so fun and a stress reliever for me, so this was fun for me to write out.

Anyway, if any more of this fire/flame stuff comes up I might add on later.

TLDR: they are using fire and candles to represent the burning love between these two.

#bridgerton #bridgerton season 3 #bridgerton netflix #bridgerton s3 #colin x penelope #polin #penelope x colin #colin bridgerton #penelope featherington #film analysis #i'm bored and excited for this show so let me just do my silly goofy thing over here #I burn for you

[accio-victuuri]

NOVEMBER 19 : The Full Story 📝

oh well sort of, cause this is what is known and shared publicly with tons of filling in the blanks by cpfs. someone made a side by side incidents during this day and time for the past years 2017 to now 2023 and it’s good to see it all laid out. it’s hilarious to see the realization among turtles that we could be wrong about their anniversary date. for years, we always talked about the month of June but now, November is making a great argument 😂

( these freakin masterminds are so naughty! I swear!!! 🤣🤣🤣 )

source of the compilation i’m using to outline is 圣衣雪琳 cause they perfectly summed up the key points very well. I already talked about some of these in my previous post but this is for the “11/19 lore” exclusively and so we can expand on other years.

I’m a sucker for timelines so let’s go 💪🏼

2017: At this time, they already know of each other and depending on who you ask might have already been low key stalking the other. LOL. WYB’s was about Just Dance and ZZ is a selfie and hotpot ; the latter post about going home.

I don’t think that this holds much significance in terms of an actual relationship and stuff happening behind the scenes. However, it feels like fate that they both posted on this day even without that significance being there. We cpfs love to talk about how they are fated and certain things, no matter how mundane, turned out to be a piece that completed the puzzle. There is some push back with some turtles saying this shouldn’t be included cause it seems like the start of this 11/19 is 2018 but again, just leaving this here. I could probably add 2015/2016 if we really wanna back track lol

2018: THIS IS THE KEY CPN IN ALL OF THIS. I have already explained it here. The infamous Japan trip. How both of them seemingly making references to their post from this year vs today (2023) especially XZ who even posted on the same time. There are so many rumors about this timeline, even going as far as saying the next day, they started living together. How this was WYB saying it’s WYB, not LWJ. So the relationship they have now is not between fictional characters but the real one.

I’m eating this candy whole. No one can tell me otherwise. I’m sold 🤣🤣🤣

Have we been wrong? did they officially become together 11/19/2018. Some are even pointing out that one of GG’s photos shared today appears to be him traveling back from IM to Beijing.

and who is in Beijing? His home. Yibo. 🏡

We love to think about them sharing photos to each other and i’m imagining this is ZZ sending something similar to WYB and saying that he is on his way back.

2019: Bazaar video was released, it’s message being a favorite among BXGs. Going by the assumption that this is their anniversary of sorts, it makes sense to have a message like that to be delivered.

how he met his love in a dream ( presumably that summer and playing wwx opposite wyb’s lwj ) and when he woke up, his love is still there. meaning even in reality, he still feels the same. no. it was not scripted, the one who shot it said it was xz’s answer and he was shocked too.

They posted some work related stuff on that day, with WYB’s being audi’s. the part of the caption we are clowning about is : Don’t blame me for not reminding you. Which in the original post and context is about the benefits you will get if you buy an Audi. but in cpn speak it could mean that ZZ probably forget, but he actually didn’t cause that bazaar love confession was clear.

2020: I already talked in detail over here #2 with was going on at the time.

It’s also the start of the whole Thursday is a good day to see you, in reference to WYB’s vogue post. Then it snowballed into a whole CPN of it’s own.

I forgot to add one important thing tho, around this time 11/18 there schedules were public and both are supposed to go back to Beijing. WYB was from Hangzhou and ZZ was from Nanjing. The incident of WYB changing his flight 3x so he can go back to Beijing is this time 11/18. We clowned that he was so eager to be in the same city with ZZ but with what we think now, it could be he wanted them to be together badly because it’s their anniversary the next day 11/19. 🤯

2021: Both of them posting a Douyin video that involves changing clothes. Which is a very common transition trend on the app but seeing it done on the same day was a treat and unusual. GG’s was posted 11/17 and WYB was 11/19.

I wanna remind people too that this is the same month we got the mysterious “voices” both in Shenzhen Vlog ( his husband wang yibo ) and talks of ZZ being at the Luoyang press conference filming. The same month the whole Ximalaya CPN started too. So they were definitely “acting up”.

2022: No actual posts but a parallel. 11/17, Guangdian appeared on the itunes chart because of fan’s effort. 11/18, WYB released a song ( government related ) called Light Chaser. So spotlight = light chaser has similar element and theme of light. Then on 11/20 WYB’s shared a douyin with 👀.

2023: Probably making up for how quiet last year was, they decided to give us a big hint/s of what 11/19 is all about. 😂😂😂

This is all fake and cpn talk. I do enjoy when candies go years back! This journey of trying to piece things together is a bxg’s strength so we’re really thriving today— with all the possibly unrelated events we have managed to stitch together into this! 🙃

#bjyx #yizhan #there is no science here i’m just clowning like i always do #Youtube #i love watching all of us collectively lose our minds over this lol #ok i shall sleep now

[machinesonix]

Somehow I have made it this long without realizing that none of the screen adoptions of Dune so much as mention the Butlerian Jihad. Like I guess it's burned into my brain so hard I sort of assumed it was part and parcel of the universe. Don't get me wrong, I think that's probably the first thing you learn if you want to dive deeper into the setting, but it still hits me like if the LotR movies showed us the big flaming eyeball tower and was like ‘Oh, that's why there are bad things, but don't worry, that's just background stuff.’ Yeah, you can understand the movie, but if the story is just like Frodo vs. The Witch King you are losing out on any of the conversation about the corruptive allure of power or theological undertones. So without further ado let's pretend this is for the benefit of interested new fans roped in by the movies and not part of my desperate attempt to silence the howling specters of literary analysis that live in my blood.

The Butlerian Jihad is an event set ~10k years prior to the events of Dune in which humanity won their freedom from the machines that they had enslaved themselves to. As a result, it is a religious taboo to create a machine that thinks like a human. That's frankly the bulk of the information presented by Frank Herbert in the text without dipping into books 7+, but whether or not those are canon is frankly an enormous can of worms, which really makes sense when you consider the size of the worms. But boy howdy, Frank loved his subtext and parallelism. Everyone has a foil character, every theme is hit from multiple angles, and Villinueve has been doing an excellent job of capturing a lot of that in repeated imagery and dialogue. The Butlerian Jihad happens off camera, but it's themes are absolutely critical to the big picture.

The Butlerian Jihad was a holy war. It was not merely a rebellion against the machines, it was a crusade against them. The prohibition against thinking machines isn't just a law, it's in the pan-universal Bible. Absolute psychopath Pieter DeVries himself claps back at the Baron for insinuating he might have a use for a computer, and this is a guy who has been hired specifically for his preternatural absence of morals. Let's hold onto that idea for a minute. 

Probably my favorite scene in the first book is the one where planetologist Liet-Kynes is dying out in the desert. As the last of his strength fades to dehydration he hallucinates conversations he had with his father concerning terraforming Arakkis for human habitability. He's told that the means are not complicated. There is already enough water on the planet, the Little Makers just have it all trapped deep underground as part of the sandworm reproductive cycle. You just need to isolate enough water to start irrigating plant life, and once it's established that'll keep the water on the surface on its own. The hard part is making sure everyone on the planet is environmentally conscious enough to foster a developing ecosystem. Nobody can drink any of that water while it's being collected, because they'll just introduce it back into the water cycle where the Little Makers are. It's going to take generations, so that sort of water discipline is going to have to go above and beyond a social convention. People need to be willing to die before they'll take a sip and compromise the plan. Ghost Dad Kynes concludes that the only mechanism in the human experience to enforce this consensus is religion. 

In the context of this whole parallelism thing, you have probably noticed that the Butlerian Jihad is not the only holy war in the narrative. Paul sees a new jihad as the only way of creating a future where humans can flourish. Now you might be saying ‘Wait now, Machines. I thought the point of Paul’s holy war was to avenge Leto and disempower established power structures by taking away the control of the spice!’ And you’d be right. The thing is, without getting into spoiler territory, Dune Messiah is not going to be about how everything just gets so much better now that Paul has destroyed the economy, government, and untold billions of human lives. This isn’t the endgame. Dude can see the future and the way he does it involves looking into the past. Paul lives in a society defined by a holy war and his goal is to redefine society. 

Putting it all together you can see what I mean about the Butlerian Jihad being essential to the themes even though the story never shows us a thinking machine or a narrative beat where the absence of computers changes the outcome. It helps us see the big picture. I’ve seen a lot of dialogue lately on whether Paul is a tragic hero or a consummate villain and I’m not here to answer that, but I am here to underline the critical detail. Paul intends to be seen as a tyrant. Just like Kynes’ hallucination says, religion is the lever to make a value stick around forever. He wants to traumatize humanity to hate chosen ones and emperors the same way the machines traumatized humanity to change them forever. The Water of Life ritual doesn’t invert his values, it lets him realize these visions of war are the means, not the ends. He is absolutely not happy about it, but this is Paul’s terrible purpose. 

#dune #paul atreides #dune meta #dune part two #butlerian jihad

[lovelybrooke]

Yandere Castlevaina x reader Concept Pt.2

read this post for some most context. I'm changing how Alucard is found a bit, but it's nothing major, I just didn't want to have to write a big fight scene. Sorry.

Masterlist--Pt.1

---

Life without the Tepes's was fine, for the most part. It was tiring, working on your own, you've started to take up sewing, creating beautiful fabrics and even some clothing just to make money. It wasn't anything great, but it was enough to survive. Though, living away from society, in hiding, proved to be harder than you thought. You didn't interact with people as much as you probably should, and a small part of you started to miss the Tepes. 

The only time you went into town was to sell your clothing. The closest town was Gresit, which due to the ever growing presence of monsters was not all that easy to get to. Living away from people, you never knew where these creatures came from, or why they never showed up around your small home, but thinking about it too long put a knot in your stomach. 

Eventually, you had to get food, you were running low on supplies and wasn't going to last long, so you made the trek into town during the morning to avoid any monsters. Finally reaching Gresit you realized how downtrodden it was, barricades, dead bodies, injured lying in the street. It was hard to ignore it all, and it was even harder to ignore the strange man stalking around the market. He was tall, even while hunched slightly, and there was a strange sense of familiarity to him, especially when he looked you in the eyes, his stern scowl becoming shock in a split second. 

The awkwardness caused you to avoid him at all cost, and as the sun slowly set and your shopping came to an end, you counted out the coins needed for a room, leaning against one of the only non bloody walls as said man grabbed your wrist before you could leave, causing your coins to drop on the floor. "(Y/n)..." He whispered, stinking of bear and clearly drunk "Is it really you?" You squinted at the man, desperation all over him. You slowly nodded, which made him let out a sigh of relief, the hold on your wrist lessening slightly, but still present. "Do you remember me, Trevor, your brother?" 

You almost choked, "I-I don't have a brother, you must think I'm someone else." You say, prying your arm away and picking up your coins. 

"I'm not mistaken" His rough voice was back again "I know it's you--why don't you remember?!" He sounded almost angry, which caused you to back away slightly. He was slurring his words, stumbling slightly. 

"Look sir, you're drunk--" You sighed as he followed you towards the inn "you should get a room, sleep it off." He doesn't listen, grumbling something inaudible. You knew it would be bad to leave him alone for the night, so you bought a room for the night, one right next to you so he wouldn't wander off. You spend the night awake, afraid of what might happen to you if you fall asleep. The sun eventually rises, and you're alive once more. 

In the morning, the man, Trevor, was extremely hungover, but still very adamant that you were his sibling. He didn't try to explain anything to you though, which made you even more frustrated. "Look--I need to go find some speakers daughter or something, come with me, you'd be safer than if you'd stay here." It didn't sound like a question, more like a demand, so you obliged, following him into the tunnels below the city which this supposed speaker got lost in. 

The tunnels were dark, hard to navigate without the help of Trevor, who wouldn't leave you alone despite his aversion to him. As you crept deeper and deep into the tunnel, you began to hear stomping, growling, and something that put a pit in your stomach. Trevor pushed you behind him, advising you to stay behind one of the many pillars. The way Trevor fought was a stark contrast to the bumbling man you knew yesterday. It was amazing, but you couldn't watch it for long as you were too busy staying alive. 

Eventually, the monster was dead, and you were safe. As you calmed yourself down, you were able to spot multiple statues, very lifelike, that all slowly began to glow as the monster died. In front of you, a woman slowly turned from stone and fell to her feet. You and Trevor walked up to her, both learning that she was the speakers daughter, Seypha, who was looking for a "sleeping warrior" in these tunnels. Even after confronting the monster, she was still devoted to finding him, refusing to leave until she explored more, so you both relented, hoping to keep her alive. 

The tunnels slowly turned from wet and stony walls to metal and cogs as you traveled even deeper. Sypha was amazed by it, while you were terrified, reminding you of something you didn't want to remember. The deeper you went, the more hostile the architecture became, having to stay near the two in order not to be crushed by anything. Eventually you reached the end, a large pedestal with a coffin on top, vials of blood being pumped into it. At this point, your breathing was heavy, shaking as you backed away from the coffin, watching as it slowly opened, a familiar face rising out of it. 

Adrian slowly lowered onto the ground, standing before you all. He looked the same, which made sense for him, but the only difference was the large scar across his chest. You couldn't pay attention however, panic coursing through your veins as Trevor confronted him. The world was spinning, and you could faintly hear someone calling for you before you passed out. 

When you awoke, Adrian was kneeling next to you. You were placed on a few blankets in an old, run down house. He was staring at the ground, only moving once you did. He didn't speak for a while, nor did you, until a few seconds passed. "Why did you leave?" He asked, causing you to scoff. 

"You know why I did." You sighed. "I-I just felt suffocated." You whispered, but you were sure he heard you. 

His expression didn't change much, but you could almost see something sad in his eyes. "Father and mother are doing this because of you." He dropped that on you, causing your heart to drop. 

"What do you mean?" 

"They thought you died. They couldn't find you. I couldn't find you." He answered, quieting as she heard the sound of Sypha and Trevor arguing in the distance. "We are going to confront them, you'll come with us, maybe that will fix the damage you caused." His voice was devoid of malice, but it didn't make his words hurt less. Ignoring his silence, he took your hands and pulled you up from your makeshift bed, dragging you towards the others. 

This was all your fault, the deaths, the fear, the horrors, it was all because of you. You were selfish, and you left something that was good for you, and now people are suffering because of it. You keep repeating what Adrian said over and over, "(Y/n)...are you okay?" You heard Trevor ask, causing you to nod your head. 

"Yeah--let's just get going."

---

A/n: This would've been too long if I included everything so feel free to ask any question that you have.

#yandere x reader #soft yandere #platonic yandere #platonic yandere castlevania #castlevania x you #castlevania x reader #yandere castlevania

[liloinkoink]

here's another minimal context scene from that beauty and the beast au. this one's from real late in the plot, but i think it'll make... enough sense? it'll at least sound cool

here are the other two scenes i've posted: Ren gets cursed and the knife scene, both of which come earlier in the plot

The last day of Martyn’s life is beautiful. 

The sky is bright, finally. Uncertain sunlight stretches its first warm rays across winter-hardened ground, casting the illusion of spring through the window. Martyn knows better, of course—unable to feel the sunlight through the bars of his cell, all he has to work with is the blistering winter wind, a biting cold that the sunlight has not yet chased away. 

The deceptive warmth is a bit on the nose, Martyn thinks, but maybe he doesn’t have enough time for anything but the most unsubtle of metaphors. 

Ren had been working with Scar. Weeks of hiding out at Ren’s castle, and the whole time, Ren had been planning to turn Martyn in for his own execution. Weeks Martyn spent clearing the crumbling stone, rotting wood, dusty corners of that place, making it livable again. Weeks he’d wasted in Ren’s care, eating his food, finding comfort at his fireplace, sleeping at his side. He’d believed in Ren, and Ren had been planning to betray him all along. 

Martyn really should have killed him when he’d had the chance. Maybe, if he’d been fast enough, Ren would never have been able to call for Scar at all. 

Maybe Martyn should have stopped to think why Ren was cursed in the first place. Maybe he should have considered Ren might have deserved it. 

Watching the sunlight prod the dead grass isn’t enough to distract Martyn from the sound of footsteps, though he pretends not to hear them until they stop right outside his cell. 

“Why, hello there!” Scar’s voice is as friendly as ever, which is to say so thick with syrupy cheer Martyn’s teeth hurt just listening to him. “Beautiful day out, isn’t it? Are you excited to enjoy the day? Stretch your legs?”

“Aren’t you supposed to offer me a last meal? Even your dog was a better host than this,” Martyn bites. Scar laughs. 

“Oh, I don’t know about that! I’ve given you such lovely accommodations.” Scar grins, sounding quite proud of himself, and Martyn sighs. 

“A real five star establishment,” Martyn turns, glaring, “Look, whatever gloating you’re going to do, just get it over with. Is this where you tell me I should never have gone against your rule? Or that Ren is going to be in the audience to help drive home the point? I’m already—“

“What? Ren, in the audience?” Scar asks. He’s amused, his eyes shining with undisguised glee. 

“Yeah, what?” Martyn asks. 

“Nothing, nothing, I just realized something really funny about you two, is all,” Scar says. 

“What is that supposed to mean?” Martyn asks. 

“Nothing! Nothing, it’s part of his curse. Didn’t he tell you? And here I thought he trusted you!” Scar says, aghast. “He’s a dog, Martyn, you can’t let those go without some kind of leash. He’s fenced in, just as any responsible person would do.”

“He’s what?” Martyn asks, and with startling clarity Martyn remembers a hundred moments of Ren sitting just inside the gate, waiting for Martyn to return from the woods just outside the bounds of the castle. He’d stopped at the gate when Martyn had fled, too, pacing back and forth inside the entryway. Martyn gasps, “Ren can’t leave the grounds.”

“Oh, you got it!” Scar says. Martyn narrows his eyes. 

“Why would he tell that to you?” Martyn asks. Scar leans in towards the bars, grinning. It isn’t wide, but it’s all teeth, perfectly white. 

“He really didn’t tell you? Maybe I didn’t need to be worried about you two,” Scar says, “It’s starting to sound like Ren didn’t trust you at all.”

“Shut up,” Martyn snaps, “If he can’t leave, how did he contact you?”

“Hm… Well, that’s the thing…” Scar hums, stroking his chin with one hand, “I wouldn’t say he contacted me, so much as that I was around and decided to pay my friend a visit.”

“Ren didn’t turn me in,” Martyn repeats, “You were lying. That whole— how much of that did you lie about? Was he even working with you at all?”

“Ren and I haven’t worked together in some time,” Scar admits, feigning sadness, “My poor friend, stuck in that old castle, wasting away under that unbreakable curse.”

“Friend, huh?” Martyn asks. He’s trying to sound mocking, but he thinks he might just sound afraid. “Is that a lie, too?”

“Ren and I were great friends! Up until someone cursed him to take the form of a loyal dog, forced to sit and wait at home until someone actually put as much faith into him as he did them.” Scar says, wiping away a dry tear, “It’s too bad, though. That big, trusting heart of his… No one’s ever going to match it, not in this world. He’ll be in that kennel forever, waiting for someone to respect a dog as though he were a person.”

Martyn sits up. 

“You cursed him,” Martyn says. It’s not a question. 

Scar absolutely beams. 

“I was starting to get worried, actually. I felt the curse weakening, so I went up to see what had happened with Ren. The fact it was my runaway rat who had pitied him was just a lucky break, but the fact that on top of that, you’d even left the bounds of Ren’s protection? Lady Luck must really like me!” Scar brags. He sighs, crossing his arms. 

“You absolute basta—“ Martyn starts, hopping to his feet. 

“But,” Scar barrels right over him, “It doesn’t seem like I needed to worry about anything. Not even that naive old dog trusted you.” 

With that, Scar takes a step back from the cell, smiling as bright as always. 

“Well,” Scar says, “Thank you for the lovely talk, Martyn. I’ll see you later tonight!”

Martyn doesn’t bother to watch him leave. He looks back to the window, through the bars and into the courtyard. He can’t see the forest from here—can’t see anything for the walls surrounding the whole castle. 

He’s never going to see Ren again, and it’s his own damn fault. Why would he believe a pathological liar over Ren? If Scar had come any other time, if Martyn hadn’t already been jumping to conclusions just because he’d overheard— he’s never going to see Ren again, and the last thing they’ll ever have done together is argue. 

For whatever little it’s worth, he knows now who he trusts. 

—---—

Somewhere at the edge of the forest, Ren falls flat on his face. 

This is the last step in a process, though. The process begins like this: 

The barrier of Ren’s curse is unbreakable, unyielding, but that doesn’t stop him from trying. He’s been scratching at it since Scar and his men disappeared over the horizon, Martyn in chains among them. His paws bleed, a few of his claws casualty to his desperation, but the barrier stays. Ren stays, his eyes locked on the path down the hill, pleading for something he knows he’ll never see.

Somewhere in the world, Ren is trusted.

Ren’s fur falls out in patches. The claws—the ones left, anyway—disappear next, and then his ears twitch for the last time, vanishing into his hair. His face changes, muzzle shrinking, body shuddering as the rest of him follows. 

The tail disappears at the same moment as the barrier, and this is when Ren pitches forward into the dirt. He hits hard ground, and what shocks him most is how cold it is—suddenly, Ren is freezing.

He scrambles up onto his elbows, tugging his cloak closer to himself. When he looks down, it’s not to thick fur—Ren finds himself staring at human arms. Perhaps a bit hairier than he remembered, sure, but pale pink, with fingers and thumbs ending in short, dirty nails. 

“Oh, my god,” Ren whispers. His mouth stretches in shapes unfamiliar, a face almost too short. He licks the inside of his mouth and finds all the teeth inside perfectly regular, devoid of the long canines that have dominated his smiles for the last few years. 

He’s human. The barrier is gone. The curse is broken. Ren can do… anything, really. Everything he’s put on hold, anything he’s dreamed while pacing the halls. The world is open to him once again, and he has all the money and power and freedom to find anything he’d like. He could take back the stolen throne. He could seek out revenge on Scar. He could take a walk out into the forest, simply because the barrier wouldn’t stop him.

There’s only one thing he needs, though. One which he knows needs him, too. 

Ren shoves himself to his feet and runs back inside. There’s got to be something he can wear in one of these rooms. He can’t be too picky, though—he has somewhere to be, and he’s already late.

#lew writes #lew library #big dog au #top hits

[aihoshiino]

Hoshino Aqua's Lie of Love: A Character Analysis

All of the interview flashforwards in volume one of OnK are interesting in their own right but out of all of them, Aqua's is particularly so to me. In the context of volume 1, these flashforwards are used to build tension and dread; they tell us how this story will end before we've even realized what path it's taking. Aqua's, by contrast, is more to do with telling us about him as a person... and it might be just a bit more telling than he may have realized or wanted it to be.

Given how much time we spend with this Aqua in the rest of the series, it's funny to remember that this page constitutes something of a reveal within its own immediate context. He's namedropped and mentioned obliquely in most previous interviews, just as Ruby is, but in contrast to Ruby this is the first and only time we see his face.

More importantly, though, is what Aqua is saying here. As his introduction, these two panels serve as the bedrock for our understanding as the series goes on. This is the image Aqua wants to project - a loveless, heartless man who doesn't care for anything but his acting; his revenge. I see a lot of people hold this interview up as proof that this is self evidently true or as proof that Aqua truly is as loveless as he paints himself as.

But... don't these words sound a little bit familiar? Ringing any bells?

They should be, considering we've heard them before.

Ai doesn't quite have a traditional interview segment like the rest of the characters, save her post-mortem video message to the kids, but in the chapter immediately before Aqua's interview we instead see a flashback to Ai at around twelve as she was recruited for B-Komachi. This scene parallels Aqua's declaration, especially when it comes to their shared attitude regarding love.

This assertion isn't simply laid out unchallenged, however. Ai bares her heart a little bit here, even in the process of trying to make it more ugly than it really is and in that moment of vulnerability, Ichigo Saitou identifies the core of this anxiety...

And refutes it.

Ai is a person absolutely overflowing with love. Despite the abnormally cruel and lonely life she's lead, we see her extend kindness and warmth to almost everyone she comes across whether it benefits her or not - everyone, that is, except herself. The abuse and abandonment and the lack of love she has suffered since she was born leads her to believe that she is the one at fault for it - that she carries some inherent ugliness that makes her both incapable and unworthy of love.

It's why, instead of looking for someone to love her, Ai spent her life searching for someone she could give her love to. Ai hates herself too much to ever believe that anyone would love the real her, so the only way she could ever experience real love would be to give it instead of receiving it.

In that sense, she and Aqua are alike. Both of them overflow with love and care for the people closest to them but they remain convinced that they carry some flaw that makes this love untrue. In both cases, these are lies - but while Ai has been taught this deception by the world around her, it's Aqua who tells this lie most fervently to himself.

For all that he insists he won't love anyone, all the actions Aqua takes are fuelled by desperate, self destructive love. Love for his mother, his sister, his friends all warped into rage and retribution - both against the main who took Ai from them and against himself, for failing to save her and the daring to ever imagine being happy in a world where he still carried that sin.

This is the key point of difference between him and his mother. Though she acts on her feelings sincerely and whole-heartedly, her history of trauma and abuse - both personally and at the hands of the entertainment industry - leave her unsure of whether she even has sincere feelings to act on in the first place.

Aqua, by contrast, feels everything so strongly it kills him - he loves so intensely it makes him sick. But he spends his whole life choking his feelings down, trying to throttle them into silence so he can convince himself of that declaration that he won't love, that those who love him won't get anything in return, so when the people who care for him are inevitably hurt by his self destruction, it's their own fault for making the mistake of caring for him in the first place.

Even so, he really can't help himself. When the people he cares about need help, Aqua will drop everything to step in for them. Even at cost to himself and even when it means risking his path to revenge.

That 'first, do no harm' principal is no joke, huh?

The Hoshino family is a trio of mirrors set up to reflect each other ad infinitum. The more you learn about one of them, the more the other two come into greater clarity. Like the stars in their eyes, Aqua and Ruby each represent opposing sides of Ai's heart; her confidence and self hatred, innocence and cynicism and all consuming, overflowing love.

Ai never quite learned how to give any of that love to herself - but maybe if we're lucky, Aqua will. And maybe this time, it won't take a tragedy that nobody can erase.

#oshi no ko #aqua hoshino #hoshino aqua #oshi no posting #aquamarine hoshino #ai hoshino #hoshino ai #onk spoilers #this was really mostly supposed to be aqua interview analysis but a little bit of ai meta snuck in while i wasn't looking eh... #that's oshi no ko i guess. Ai Is There Even And Most Especially When She Is Not There

[megaderping]

I think the funniest thing about Shuake in the context of The Crow Cries at Midnight is the fact that since Shadowkechi has his own ego and thus continues to exist as a separate consciousness within Akechi... It means the Shuake would be Akeshuake in the most literal sense. Ren gets two Goros for the price of one, and one of them is extra polite and just happy to be acknowledged and included. This random tangent from the P4 Akechi AU brought to you by me writing a really sweet scene in a much later chapter that concerns Shadowkechi and realizing how much he enjoys when he is treated like he matters. Though it makes for an interesting challenge for Akechi to navigate, too. Making sure his Shadow's okay with the relationship, figuring out how to balance their own individual needs, especially since outside certain spaces (e.g. the TV world, Metaverse), he can't manifest as easily as separate from Akechi and instead would have to take turns in the driver's seat. And Shadowkechi wondering if he's even wanted or if he's a third wheel, while Ren is the embodiment of the two cakes meme. But it is an incentive for Akechi to talk to the P1/P2 cast about how they manage to summon Personas IRL, since Shadowkechi can assume his more Akechi-shaped form rather than just Robin Hood if he so desires. It might give him chances to one day just... vibe separate from Akechi within a certain radius (so probably can't go extremely far).

#p4 akechi au #goro akechi #ren amamiya #shuake #akeshu #shadow akechi

[pinkeoni]

The Importance of Lonnie Byers in Season 5

After much theorizing and consideration, I am confident beyond a shadow of a doubt that not only will Lonnie be present in season 5, but that he’s actually crucial to the main plot of the story.

I’m going to first explain why I think his appearance will be important from an objective storytelling point of view and then theorize what I think his role is actually going to be.

TW: Discussions of child abuse.

Lonnie’s absence has created major unresolved conflict with both Will and Jonathan

I wanna start by saying that I’m looking at this from an objective storytelling point of view and not in the context of real world situations.

Lonnie has only appeared in season 1 and has not made an appearance since. In fact, he hasn’t been mentioned by name, only indirectly mentioned majority of the time by Jonathan. Will and Lonnie haven’t even shared a scene. This creates a huge hole of unresolved conflict between Lonnie and his sons. In fact, the only member of the Byers clan who has resolved their conflict with him is Joyce.

When Joyce is in an emotionally vulnerable state, Lonnie shows up and she clings to him, despite how much he belittles her. Eventually Joyce stands her ground, defends herself, and then demands that he leaves. We can see that Joyce has finally moved on from him once she has moved on to different and better romantic partners in later seasons. She hasn't even mentioned him, not in the way that Jonathan has.

In each season, Jonathan has brought up his father through dialogue. It usually revolves around Jonathan's inner conflict of fearing that he is becoming like his father, and that his father has affected who he is today.

And given that this has been brought up in every season, we see that this hasn't been resolved yet. Lonnie returning would be a good opportunity for Jonathan to come to some kind of self realization.

In the case of Will, it's pretty unclear how he really feels about his dad. Aside from a few lines of dialogue from season 1, we don't get much in the way of Will's point of view. However, I do think that Will misses his dad. I think this could also create interesting conflict between Will and Jonathan; Will is highly receptive of their dad coming back and Jonathan is not. Jonathan and Will have never really had any conflict before, so it might be interesting to see them fight about something. If everyone is on the exact same page about Lonnie, and there was a simple resolve, it wouldn’t be interesting to watch.

Again, as stated above, I want to be clear that I'm looking at this from a fictional storytelling standpoint. I don't think that abuse survivors need to confront their abusers in person in order to find closure, however when discussing fictional characters and character arcs, leaving the show without any confrontation from either Jonathan and/or Will would leave that conflict open.

Lonnie's absence tells me that they are holding out on something big from him

The fact that Lonnie has not shown up in the past three seasons informs me that when he does show up, he'll likely be the catalyst for a major plot point. Think about it this way, if Lonnie were connected to some kind of major plot twist (such as Will's powers) then it would make sense to not bring him back until the last season, because doing so prematurely could set in motion some of the larger set pieces that needed to be saved for the ending.

I think if Lonnie were truly unimportant to the future plot, then they could have wrapped up his arcs with Will and Jonathan earlier. I think he could have easily fit in to season 2, especially with the focus being so heavy on the Byers family in that season. But no, they are holding out on him until the very last season, which speaks to the importance of his role in the main plot of the story.

Lonnie is likely connected to Will's powers

Now that I've explained why he is important to season 5's plot, now comes the part where I theorize about what his exact role in the story will be. Namely, I believe that he is connected to Will's powers.

I'm not going to go into all of the theoretics involving Lonnie and Will's powers, that would just make the post even longer than it already is. I've made a few posts in the past exploring Lonnie's possible connection to the lab, which I think is highly likely. You can read them here, here, and here.

I have another large theory post where I discuss how Lonnie may have even been the trigger for Will's powers here, which relates to another long theory post I made regarding Will's childhood memories here.

There's a lot of different ways this could go, but either way, I think Lonnie is a major part of Will's powers and is likely connected with the lab. Will doesn't remember this very well, but seeing his dad again could likely jog his memory.

Lonnie could likely die, following a pattern set by the show of abusive figures dying

I've theorized about how this could go in a number of different ways, but the ending is still the same. If Lonnie were to die, it would be the third in a pattern of abusers dying that started with Billy's death and was continued with Papa's death in season 4. There also seems to be a string of deaths involving father figures, starting with Bob and season 2 and again continued with Papa in season 4. Either way, Lonnie Byers your days are numbered.

Here's a rough timeline of my prediction of how I think the season could go:

Lonnie returns very early on after the time skip. He claims to be there to make amends with and spend time with his boys.

Joyce and Jonathan are weary of his return and intentions but Will is excited to see his dad again.

Joyce decides that Will's feelings about his dad should be up to him, while Jonathan is more combative. This creates tension between Will and Jonathan.

Unsurprisingly enough, Lonnie is there for his own personal gain, probably connected to the lab. Most likely sent in by Owens

As Will discovers the extent of his powers throughout season 5, his childhood and the extent of Lonnie's abuse will likely be revealed to him, forcing Will to contend with the fact that his father is a monster

The above bullet is a mirror to El's arc last season with Papa. Except now, Will will likely be horrified to learn this information and will want to see his father as good as much as possible.

There is a final confrontation between Will, Jonathan and Lonnie which is likely the climax of whichever episode it's in, likely episode 6 or 7.

Lonnie's arc ends with his death.

I know that a lot of the details are a little loose toward the end, this is something that I'm still theorizing about and putting together. Regardless of specifics, Lonnie's importance and likely appearance in season 5 is something I'm still highly confident in. Let me know what you guys think, or any predictions that you have!

#lonnie byers #tw lonnie byers #tw child abuse #tw ca #tw csa #will byers #jonathan byers #joyce byers #stranger things #stranger things prediction #my predictions #my theory #byler #<- target audience #not byler related #long post

[twig-tea]

Final Thoughts on To Be Continued

Ok, I know I was loudly still mad at this show last week in @respectthepetty's notes, who was very kind (and even encouraging) about it. @happypotato48 talked me down a bit by suggesting there was more in the novel that might still come, and he was right! This week we got an explanation that helped me find the through-thread that was missing between the flashbacks and the start of the show, so I can let that go. I was pretty satisfied with that part of this week's finale overall, and was really glad that they added that connecting piece for me.

Short non-spoilery version of where I landed: I was skeptical it was going to land the core storyline, but for me it did. I liked it in the end, but there are a number of hurdles to enjoying this show so I wouldn't recommend this without caveats (mostly related to pacing).

With all of that being said, it's one of the better pulps this year so far, and worth a watch if you love mutual pining, don't mind slow episodes, and enjoy when a show lets its characters make mistakes. I'm glad I watched it.

For anyone curious about this show, here's where this show worked for me, and where it didn't. Spoilers under the cut!

What I Liked

I really enjoyed Ji getting to be petty to Achi at the beginning of the series, and the way the show made clear that Ji knew exactly how conflicted he was about Achi showing up in his life again.

I love yearning, and the yearning in this series was top-notch. The way Ji could not help himself when it came to accepting Achi's overtures, and the way Achi used his overtures to say over and over again "I know you; I know us; I am willing to put in effort to prove I mean it" was delicious.

I did like the flashbacks and how they were doled out through the series to add context and explain what was happening. The timing of the flashbacks in the story was well done and gave us the info we needed when we needed it.

I liked how clear consent was in this show, and how consent alone did not result in a perfect scenario, especially as kids. I did appreciate how the main conflict from the past was essentially teenage boys did not know how to communicate and blew everything out of proportion/did not understand how to think about things from the others' perspective.

And from this last episode, I liked how the show let us see that years of reflection helped Achi realize what things must have felt like from Ji's perspective, and once he had confirmation that Ji was devastated when he left, it makes sense that he would be able to meet up with Ji again with both confidence and contrition in order to get the reconciliation he wants. I also really liked the contrast in the sex scenes between their first time when they didn't kiss for most of the scene and their first time as boyfriends where they can't seem to stop kissing.

Finally, I love competence, and I really enjoyed getting to see Ji be a competent surgeon and Achi be good at his job managing fan expectations of his personal life. Achi handled the relationship reveal with confidence knowing he'd be able to manage the fallout, and his manager was supportive once he was sure Achi actually had a plan.

What I Didn't Like

I seriously considered dropping this show after episode 4 because for the first little while, every other episode really dragged. It wasn't the order in which the story was doled out that was the issue, but there was so much unnecessary footage and scenes lingered too long within each episode. In short, there were moments when this show draaaaaaagged. So in terms of who it works/doesn't work for, having patience for really slow pacing within an episode is critical. It does pick up a bit after ep4, but never fully gets over this problem.

Egregiously in a show where some episodes felt too long, the show also didn't use the time it had to fully close off all the threads it started and some of the plots felt rushed. There was a redemption arc for Ji's father that felt incomplete/sudden to me (not to say people can't snap out of a 10-year depression but I wasn't really given any chance to feel much about this because we didn't really sit with him or his kids after it happened); the side characters' romance felt like it barely got off the ground (they honestly had the time, they just didn't use it), and Poppy's romance and career trajectory also barely got any time (this one is more forgivable as a third and het couple).

Beyond the multiple pacing issues, the acting was also shaky, and while the sex scenes are well staged and cut to hide this, they were a little awkward together during some of the moments of physical intimacy.

For my taste, I would have wanted to see more of the characters working on things and changing their behaviour; a lot of the push-pull in the middle of the series felt circular rather than progressive. Some of it was necessary: Achi did demonstrate he will stick around no matter how hard Ji makes it this time, and Ji did show that he can open up and be vulnerable with Achi eventually, and trust him when there are external threats. But I would have liked to have seen more of the parts that led to the change in them happen. They also spend a lot of time falling into old habits when they started hanging out together again, which was charming and realistic, but I would have loved to see more incorporation of their new lives. Achi basically takes a break from stardom to woo Ji, so we don't get a real sense of what their relationship will be like except in the finale which is quite brief.

I already gave my high-level summary above the fold: TL; DR I'm glad I watched but not everyone will enjoy this one.

#to be continued the series #bl meta #typed so that i can stop thinking it

[kingofthering]

Omfg that fake dating rosquez drabble, GOD YES, I am over here, dying. If you ever find time and motivation to write more of that, PLEASE do so, I would love to hear more coming from that place of your mind!!!! How does Marc react? What do they do? Do they kiss? Practice it? (No pressure obvs <3, do what you feel okay with)

Okay so, I warn you, this is going to be extra tropey and cutesy (angst, see you another day). A look into pictures I have for this universe :

context : Marc is very much aware of his crush on Valentino, previously with no intention to do anything about it but now that Valentino has put them in this position, Marc will take advantage of it and Valentino won't know what's coming for him

after Valentino's mom leave, Valentino goes to Marc to apologize and he's like "we'll just pretend for a couple of months, it's not like she'll be there often so you won't even have to do anything, I'll tell her we didn't work out because it's too complicated with racing each other but we stayed friends, things will be just like before and she'll still like you but will just believe that you like men" [this is where Marc comes out to Valentino]

mandatory scene where they're invited to dinner with other members of Valentino's family and friends of the family, PDA in the form of Valentino having his hand at the small of Marc's back when he gives him a tour of the living room and Valentino's arm resting above Marc's shoulders on the couch when they're having drinks pre-dinner

their first "kiss" happens that night, the two of them doing something super mundane (maybe helping to bring desert to the table or Valentino handing Marc his phone or something? I don't know, details) and Marc just leans forward to press his lips to Valentino and he's already gone before Valentino has the time to react

for their first "real" kiss (that lasts more than a quick second), we can have it the next day, Marc going "I caught you by surprise yesterday, when I kissed you" and Valentino being all "absolutely not" (when will that man ever admit to losing/not being on top of something) and one thing leading to another [this would need more words but this is already being too long as it is], they end up kissing passionately™️, Marc's back pressed into the kitchen island and Valentino's hands starting to push under his shirt until they get interrupted by someone walking into the kitchen

[there is a version of this universe where their competitive side kicks in and they both try to one up each other in a game of who can make the other uncomfortable first] [some twisted version of gay chicken, I suppose]

obviously Marc wasn't supposed to stay at the ranch for that long but it just makes sense for him to still be there and for the two of them to spend more time together [this is either summer or winter 2014, again, details]

another scene where they have to spend time with Valentino's family [let's say at a baby shower of one of Valentino's cousins, to not say a wedding] [fake dating at a wedding is an elite trope, just having fun with some alternatives as well] and they're far from Tavullia so it makes sense for them to stay for the night and they have to share a bed [might as well mix all my basic fave tropes together]

two things that happen that night/the next morning in an order I haven't decided on yet : they have sex + they have this very sweet moment where they're facing each other and touching in some way (and Valentino fixes a curl on Marc's forehead at some point) [I don't care that Marc's hair wasn't showing his curls in 2014, we're altering reality in all the ways we want] and Marc's like "your mom wasn't surprised when you told her you had a boyfriend" and "people are genuinely happy for us" and "I didn't really think that was an option" [and Valentino's heart is feeling soooo guilty at that, oh boy] [not in a "Marc's family is homophobic" way but the whole "being a gay rider" thing, you know]

one thing I realize is the fact that they probably should have to sleep in the same bed at the ranch to keep appearances but it's not practical for my whole narrative so I'm still debating that, we can work around it [as always : details]

#rpf #marc marquez #valentino rossi #4693 #this is so fluffy it's ridiculous #my writing #(kind of) #fake dating rosquez #of course you could also make this angsty but not today

[merakiui]

Hi, mera! Lionfish anon here,, think tumblr gobbled up my previous attempts to send this, but 3rd time’s the charm!! :]

I read your alpha stalker Jade fic, and realized he reminds me of a video essay I watched recently, “The Horror of Having a Body” by Clark Elieson on YouTube (https://youtu.be/j0fucPpR1K0?si=mjtzEd58jT-aOQJh). The quote, “swapping bodily fluids like this clearly has some sexual undertone, albeit in a way that feels foreign to the act of sex itself” (18:38 - 18:46) reminds me of him, especially in DRU. While I’m not positive on how a sexual encounter between him and the reader would go, I don’t feel it would be sexual or arousing in the way many associate with the intimacy of the bedroom— instead, I imagine something closer to the concept of Jouissance discussed earlier in the video; something painful, overwhelming, and quite frankly traumatizing, yet so incredibly pleasurable, something you can’t get enough of no matter how much you hate it. He is an antagonizing pleasure, in my mind at least.

The main thing that made me think of this is alpha stalker Jade’s views on omegas, which led me to connecting him to the Bloodborne sections, of which are closely interlinked with sexuality and illness— things betwixt with the image of Jade I have in my mind. He’s a sick, twisted individual, apathetic to those he does not value, painted beautifully by yourself. “The love that is remorseless when he’s bruised and bloodied his knuckles,” he is remorseless, and if not for that ambrosial love he feels, it would (and has, with his original intent to leave you with the realization you’re in heat) apply to you too.

He’s an enigma (and I love him for it), one so accustomed to his mind; no matter the web he must build, the months he must haunt, he will sink his teeth into you eventually. He will make you his.

His want to be gentle and composed is very interesting to me though! The line, “Although maybe it’s his own voice confessing such saccharine phrases” draws out how one sided this is. Despite the act he puts on, he can’t help the declaration, like a subconscious part of him acknowledges that this might not be you, that you might not feel the same, even when so sexual and heat-drunk. Though, in the end, he claims you. He feels whole, every piece of him coming together in what I assume is an ethereal chorus, for you are paradisiacal and he has attained something seraphic.

My mind has been lost, thank you for letting me share! Lionfish, out!

:O !!!! how dare tumblr keep such a wonderful message from me omg!!!! Lionfish, I adore your analysis aaaaaa!!!!! (๑>ᴗ<๑)

Comparing Jade to an "antagonizing pleasure" is such a good way to describe him, especially in the context of DRU!!! He's something that you know is bad for you in every sense, but you can't help it. He's all you have in this dreadful, traumatizing situation. The corpse lying stiff and cold in the bathtub won't provide the comfort that he can give you, however basic it may be. Jade's care is merely obligation; he does it because he can't let you die or risk spoiling any of your parts, and if you wanted to be cruel with the comparison,,, in a way it's as if he's a farmer raising livestock. Sure, he cares enough to feed you and make sure you're comfortable, but it doesn't go beyond that (for now). Jade's feelings are so complex and he's forever difficult to read, but it is very interesting all the same! I won't spoil anything regarding the sex scenes in DRU, but I will say that you make such good points. It's definitely more of a jouissance.

Aaaaaa alpha stalker Jade!!! He's such a menace, so cold and remorseless... Had he not fallen in love (read: obsession), his apathy most definitely extends to you (and it did, as you noted how willing he was to leave the poor Reader when they are in a bind). I think Jade is so set in his ways in that fic, so accustomed to being an alpha and being around alphas. He doesn't go out of his way to seek out omegas, and he doesn't fully grasp the appeal until he's experiencing it with someone he adores (the reader).

I really do love this sort of Jade! He only opens his heart for a select few, and when he does love he loves to suffocating extremes. >_< he's willing to play such a long waiting game if what lies at the end of that is the sole thing he's been aiming for: you. And if not, he'll do everything within his power to make it so. He's so stubbornly attached. Even if some part of him knows your judgment is clouded with heat, he gets avaricious and claims you anyway. There's some complex scheme hidden within his intentions and choices to do what he does when he does, but you'll never know it. :)

Thank you for sharing such a lovely message, Lionfish!!!! :D I love reading your thoughts and ramblings!!! Jade is just so enigmatic. How can we not love him? orz

#twisted chit chat #lionfish anon

[theindependenttrentcrimm]

Amber, House, Wilson and the South Pole Meta Part 1

Welcome everyone to the much requested Amber = House and Wilson = Dr. Milton (the Psychiatrist from the South Pole) meta. I'm going to start with the comparisons between Wilson and Dr. Milton because that contains quite a bit less content and then I'll dive into the House-Amber parallels. Also just finished Wilson's Heart so watched all of Amber's episodes. Warning, this is going to be a long one and thank you all for your enthusiasm

Season 4 Episode 11 - Frozen

A less important but still interesting point is that we begin the episode with a leg injury. The Wilson character cares for the House stand in and says- "Like I'd let anything happen to you, you're the only one who can fix the generators around here." Similarly, House has a specialized and specific skill set- Wilson watches, makes sure nothing happens to him.

"You do realize only one of us has any control over my actions" - Dr. Milton. A crucial part of House's ability to treat patients involves being able to directly override their wishes and do what he thinks is best for them. We see this in his relationships too, every relationship crucially except Wilson. Wilson asks him not to do something, he doesn't. Even if it is in House's best interest to do so (he doesn't biopsy the CIPA patient's spinal nerve because Wilson tells him not to despite having Cuddy's approval). In the episode where the patient mimics whoever seems to be in charge, Wilson is the only person that the patients mimics when House is also in the room. Wilson is the one in charge of this relationship, even more so than Cuddy and House's relationship (again see the mimic patient) and his relationship with Stacy. Dr. Milton's autonomy and choice in this episode is a crucial part of her characterization as a Wilson stand in.

"We have a limited supply of medication and I am not about to waste it" - Dr. Milton. Another trait of Wilson's is his inability to put himself before others or to say no. He's self flagellating much like House is, he gives his liver to a patient, gives his life and almost goes to prison for House, and refuses to put his needs in front of others. The only time we see him put someone else above House is when Amber is dying and only then is he capable of doing that because it is not about him. Similarly, Dr. Milton goes on to refuse a litany of medications that House suggests because someone on her crew might need it. House is frustrated by this because it doesn't make sense, he needs it to be reasonable but its not. Again, he can't do anything about it, however, because he has no control over her actions.

She asks him to show her his apartment before the physical in the name of reciprocity but crucially, she is one of very few patients who take an interest in him and not what he can do for her. She reads him, understands his weak points and brings the discussion back to his leg. She calls him on his posturing and the facade he puts up so he doesn't have to deal with the uncomfortable reality of his pain. Wilson is one of the only other people to do this. His team care about him, obviously, and are interested to an extent in his life but only because of how it affects them. Wilson has been in his apartment, cares about him not what he can do for Wilson. Even Cuddy to an extent (discussing this pre Cuddy and House's relationship) cares about House in ways that are specific to how it affects his ability to practice medicine.

Another interesting point- just before House goes to do the physical on the patient he implies that Wilson is wearing his shirt for someone (we later find out that this person is Amber), however Wilson retorts that it is because the Health department frowns on "topless oncology." It's meant to be a throw away line but in the context of the scene that follows it, his undressing takes on a different, more poignant meaning.

"Of course he is (letting her take part in the differential). He likes her" - Wilson

"He's annoyed by her, doesn't respect her as a doctor, constantly insults her." - Dr. Foreman

Who does that sound like?

Then there is the whole scene where Cate outright states that Wilson is a lot less nice than he seems and states that "indiscriminate niceness is overrated." House is the only one who Wilson shows his true colors to because House is okay to be an ass around, House is safe. "No wonder he likes you" Wilson says because he recognizes Dr. Milton's straightforwardness and curt responses in the way he acts around House.

One of the biggest giveaways however is House's refusal to treat Cate like just another patient - the same way he refuses to treat Amber like just another patient because of Wilson.

"I get enough of this from Wilson." "And yet you keep hanging out with him." House likes it when he's challenged, when someone doesn't just give in to him, when they recognize but don't excuse his misery.

"Being miserable doesn't make you better than anyone else, it just makes you miserable."-> "Because then you're freed from taking responsibility for your misery"

"And from what I've heard, you've spent more time with me than with any other patient" then there is of course the fact that House and Dr. Milton directly compare her to Wilson and Dr. Milton points out that he has spent more time with her. House apologizes and closes out of the call. The next scene is house getting lunch with Foreman rather than Wilson. I.E. he’s not hanging out with Wilson - apologizing for spending too much time.

then Dr. Milton falls into a coma and Sean offers to do anything to save her- house will do anything to save Wilson. He does do anything to save Amber, including risk his life, because Wilson just asks him to. This is why it’s so interesting that they gave Sean a leg injury.

"Listen, I am not going to let you hurt her"- House to sean. In essence this is House talking to himself about Wilson. He appeals to himself. He reassures himself.

The second part will be about House and Amber

#t rambles #house md #hatecrimes md #hilson #gregory house #james wilson

[lord-aldhelm]

WIP Wednesday

No one tagged me this time and I almost forgot about this!! Another week, another tag game! Please share your last sentence; or, if you don’t have one, share a plot bunny or idea!

So for this WIP Wednesday, I am going to do something a little different! I am going to post the entire most recent chapter of my WIP. I really love how this turned out, and wanted to share the whole thing. It kind of works well as its own little standalone ficlet.

From my latest Aldflaed WIP (that does not have a title yet)

Background Context: This takes place in early Season 2. King Ceolwulf II has just passed away, and Lord Aethelred was installed as the new Lord of Mercia. He is taking charge of moving the household from the old capital of Tameworthig (Tameworthy) to Aegelesburg (Aylesbury). Aldhelm has just been promoted to captain of the guard, and is having a hard time gaining the respect of his new subordinates...

______________________________________________________________

Chapter after the cut below:

Aldhelm left the peace and solitude of the forest, feeling energized and enlightened. But it was not to last. Before he even entered the castle gate, he heard shouting and the sounds of things breaking. He drew his sword and ran into the courtyard, expecting the worst, but to his dismay and somewhat relief found it was just the guards being rowdy. The previous captain had already been dismissed, given an early retirement and a gift of land in the western part of Mercia. In that short time, the guards were taking advantage of being leaderless, or so they thought. Many held horns of ale as they stood in the street, yelling and laughing, and some of them were even causing destruction to property. Others sparred recklessly in the sides of the courtyard, and some others were harassing women who were trying to go about their business. Apparently, they were bored and restless, having nothing to do as the castle was being packed up.

He had never known the guards to be so unruly before, but they seemed to be taking advantage of the change in leadership to relieve some stress. And also, quite clearly, to test him. Although he had already been acknowledged as their captain, and had made a point to introduce himself to them, they did not take him seriously. He needed to make a forceful impression on them so they knew he meant business. He was already used to the role of advisor and king’s right-hand man, but he had to adjust to his new role as captain of the guard.

He was a decent warrior, having been highly trained in skills of sword and shield, axe and spear. He mastered every skill given to him with ease, and was a fast learner; however, he detested fighting. He would much rather fight his battles with a quill than a sword. But Aldhelm had a special talent for battle tactics, and it made sense to have a strategist like him in the lead of the army. So, he accepted it without complaint. And now he needed to bring them in line, and he knew he only had the one chance or else they would never respect him as their captain. He sighed, realizing that his leisurely strolls in the woods were now a thing of the past, no matter where they lived. His life was going to get busier and more complicated than he anticipated.

He sheathed his sword and casually strode in through the front gate. The guards saw him enter but paid him no mind, and continued their raucous merrymaking. They were not at all threatened by the tall, lithe man with no real battle experience. He remained calm and complacent, which was difficult considering the circumstances. Were the guards so undisciplined that they could not go a day without their captain bearing down on them? That would need to change. He continued to saunter seemingly unbothered through the middle of the courtyard, glancing over the scene before him to pick out the worst offender. Without breaking his stride, he unsheathed his sword again, and smacked the loudest man with the broad side of his sword.

It might as well have been a honeybee stinging a boar; the man was much larger and heavier than him by nearly double, and built like a brown bear with thick corded muscles and a broad barrel chest. He had clearly seen many battles, and was covered in scars. The man turned around to confront his attacker, but when he saw Aldhelm, he gave pause. Aldhelm could see some semblance of thought forming behind the man’s dull grey eyes, and let him think about his next action before he continued. The battle-worn guard, rather than getting angry, started to laugh. The rest of the guard looked on, not knowing what to do, but eventually they joined in and laughed as well. Aldhelm smirked and tilted his head slightly, knowing he was the butt of the joke but let them have their little moment of jest.

“I seem to have interrupted quite a party here,” Aldhelm said, standing firm and confident in the face of real danger. As he spoke, the laughter stopped. “But it is time now for you to clean up this mess you have made.” He gestured broadly with the point of his sword to the broken bits of wood and other debris that littered the walkway in the courtyard. The burly man just laughed in his face, completely unbothered by the weaker man making unreasonable demands of him, and turned to walk away and continue his wanton destruction.

Aldhelm was undeterred. “Since you are all clearly bored, and in need of something to do, why don’t we have a training session.” His soft steady voice barely carried across the courtyard, but the big man heard him.

His head turned to once again face Aldhelm. “You? Train me?” His eyes darted up and down across Aldhelm. “What a joke.”

Aldhelm rested his blade against his shoulder in a cocksure manner. “You are right. It would not be a fair fight. I will ask one of the other guards to spar with me instead. Someone who will actually be a challenge for me.”

“Little twig, I don’t know how you ended up being the captain, but you had best go home now, unless you want me to snap you in half!” the burly man announced. When Aldhelm made no indication that he would leave, he continued. “Look, we all know that I should be the captain. I was second in command, and was promised a promotion. Now, why don’t you do us all a favor, and go back inside the castle, and tell the king that a mistake was made, and that Wulfstan is the new captain of the guard.”

A chilling smile spread across Aldhelm’s face as he unpinned his brooch. He removed his cloak and gently set it on a stone bench nearby, and picked up one of the shields that had been callously dropped on the ground. “You can certainly have the role of captain, if you defeat me in single combat.”

“Little lordling, I will not be held responsible for your death,” Wulfstan replied gruffly. “You want the title, fine, you can have it, in name only. But you step aside and let me lead the men in real battle.”

The smile vanished from Aldhelm’s face, and his fierce green eyes were set in a cold, hard, unwavering glare at Wulfstan. “Draw your sword and face me. I will not ask again.”

Wulfstan decided to humor him. He nonchalantly picked up his shield, and pulled his short-sword from the scabbard. He had no time to react before Aldhelm struck without warning, raining powerful blows onto his shield. Wulfstan was shocked at how strong he was; he was taken off balance and pushed backwards before he was able to stabilize and defend himself properly. He managed to get an offensive swing at Aldhelm but made no contact; Aldhelm had anticipated the move and leapt backwards, leaving Wulfstan to swing at empty air. Aldhelm charged forward again, and made contact with Wulfstan’s armor, leaving deep cuts in his leather bracer and severing a few links of chainmail on his left arm. Wulfstan realized that Aldhelm meant business, and began to take the fight seriously. If the scrawny man died, so be it. He had an entire army as witness of his attack, and would be justified.

Wulfstan charged at Aldhelm, sword held high, and swung hard at his head. But as before, he never made contact; Aldhelm was far too fast for him, and had already leaned backwards, avoiding the blow. In response, Aldhelm circled around to his right side and struck again, and managed to get a slice into his right shoulder pad. Wulfstan swung his sword out at him, but again, Aldhelm had already leapt back, avoiding the sword. By this point, the rest of the guard had already formed a square around the dueling pair, and were watching intently. They could not believe that a skinny weakling was able to fight the man they thought of as their best warrior. They watched with baited breath, hoping that Wulfstan would put an end to the silly battle, and retain his honor. But as the duel continued, they realized that their leader was actually being bested by him, to their disbelief.

Aldhelm seemed to anticipate the advances of Wulfstan with eerie accuracy, and always managed to avoid his blows. It was like he could see into the future. But what they didn’t know is that Aldhelm had spent many hours watching the guards spar in the courtyard and training grounds, and knew all of Wulfstan’s typical moves. What they also did not know was that Aldhelm was formally trained by Ceadda, the previous captain. He had also received combat training during his time in Rome, and was deceptively strong for his stature. People tended to underestimate Aldhelm, which he used to his advantage, and this time was no different.

Wulfstan was starting to escalate, while Aldhelm stayed calm and composed. In his fury, Wulfstan charged at Aldhelm and their blades met with a loud metallic clang. The bigger man pressed down on Aldhelm, and his blade snaked along Aldhelm’s down to the hilt. At that moment, Aldhelm raised his shield and hit Wulfstan hard with the edge of it, straight into his temple. The burly man stumbled backward, dropping his own shield in the process. Blood ran down his face and into his eye, temporarily blinding him on one side. While he was stunned, Aldhelm rammed hard into him, knocking him down onto the ground. As Wulfstan’s blurred vision came into focus, he saw Aldhelm standing over him, his sword pointed at his chest.

“Do you yield?” Aldhelm said softly. The burly man raised his hands, and nodded. Aldhelm withdrew his sword, and as he did, Wulfstan staggered to his feet. His angry glare met Aldhelm’s cool one. He could not believe this willowy man defeated him at swordfighting. The rest of the guard started shouting epithets at Aldhelm, briefly drawing his attention to them. He half expected one of the other guards to charge at him in defense of their fallen leader. However, it was Wulfstan who made the next move. He drew his seax, and while Aldhelm was distracted, charged at him full force. Aldhelm saw the movement in his peripheral field of vision, and reacted quickly. At the last second Aldhelm raised his shield, blocking the attack. The seax was plunged deep into the shield, splitting it, and almost making contact with his face. He rotated his arm so that the blade was deflected away from his face, but in the process, it had grazed him just to the side of his right eye.

Aldhelm put his full force into his shield, twisting it and forcing it away from himself and into Wulfstan. The seax, still embedded in the broken shield, was wrenched from Wulfstan’s hand and tossed onto the ground. Wulfstan grabbed the shield fragment from the ground, and struggled to pry the seax loose, holding the shield with his right hand and using his left to free the blade. Before Wulfstan could use it, Aldhelm had raised his sword and struck the unarmed man with a devastating blow that penetrated a weak point in his armor just below the elbow of his left arm. A major artery had been severed, and blood gushed out of the wound. Wulfstan dropped the seax and fell to his knees, his right hand squeezing his left elbow to stop the bleeding. Aldhelm swung his sword swiftly around to point directly at his throat, and once again, calmly asked, “Do you yield?” Wulfstan’s eyes were wide with pain and fear, and he relented this time.

“Yes, Lord,” he said weakly, shaking uncontrollably. He was starting to lose a lot of blood, and would surely die. Aldhelm sheathed his sword and grabbed his cloak, using it to place a tourniquet on Wulfstan’s injured arm.

He stood and glanced at one of the horrified guards still standing in a square. “You,” he said, making eye contact with one, “bring me something to cauterize this wound.” When he didn’t move, Aldhelm emphasized, “Now!” and the young guard ran off to the nearby blacksmith, and returned with a metal bar, still red hot at the tip. Aldhelm removed the cloak and pressed the glowing end of the bar into the wound. The big man screamed in pain, and the acrid smell of burning flesh and smoke filled the air. But, the bleeding was stopped. Aldhelm rewrapped his elbow with a clean section of the cloak. He ordered another guard to notify the priests, who would be needed to tend to his wounds and nurse him back to health after his severe injury.

Once Wulfstan was carried away by the priests to recover, Aldhelm addressed the rest of the guard. “Does anyone else wish to challenge me?” No one said a single word. They were shocked and impressed by not only how deceptively strong a fighter he was, but by the mercy he showed Wulfstan. Wulfstan had committed treason, humiliated his master, and attempted to murder the new captain. He should have been executed on the spot for his crimes, or allowed to bleed to death where he lay. But Aldhelm showed him compassion, and tended to his wounds instead, saving his life. They all looked at their new captain with awe and reverence, and knew that this man was someone they would follow to the ends of the earth.

* * *

No Pressure Tags: @whitedarkmoonflower @sihtricfedaraaahvicius @gemini-mama @thenameswinter99 @alexagirlie @synintheraven @garunsdottir @thelettersfromnoone @aegonx @itbmojojoejo and whoever else wants to do it!

#wip wednesday #fanfic #aldhelm #tlk fanfic #the last kingdom fanfic

[yamayuandadu]

How high are the chances that Ōtakemaru (大嶽丸) will appear in the Touhou Project? He is one of the original three greatest yokai in Japan. Kishin (鬼神) has already been introduced in the Wild and Horned Hermit manga, with Suiki (水鬼) as one of them, though I also hope for more of Fujiawara Chikata's Onis in the series.

I don’t have any uncles or other relatives customarily said to relay such info working for Team Shanghai Alice so I couldn’t in good faith claim I have any real idea what are the odds that ZUN will base a character on him. As for whether I think it would work, you can find out under the cut.

Before Urumi no oni actually shown in the games was based on anyone other than Shuten Dōji’s underlings but it seems safe to say nothing’s off limits now, between her and Zanmu, whose counterpart wasn’t even regarded as an oni (at best you could make a case for tengu since Razan Hayashi considered his Buddhist opponents tengu and this category sort of kind of includes Zanmu since he’s mentioned in one of his tirades against Tenkai).

ZUN’s definition of kishin is basically made up, so I am not sure if it has any impact on who might plausibly show up. There is a real term for oni and oni-adjacent figures shown in scenes of hell, kisotsu (鬼卒) or gokusotsu (獄卒), but I don’t really see much overlap in use with kishin, which is ultimately a label I’ve actually mostly seen in onmyōdō context. Also, the concept of “three greatest yokai” is an entirely modern invention. On top of that, Kazuhiko Komatsu coined it entirely based on the fact that the three stories whose antagonists he refers to with this moniker end with their remains placed in the treasure house of Uji. I’m not sure where the similar grouping with Sutoku listed instead of Ōtakemaru alongside Tamamo no Mae and Shuten Dōji originates, but I find it to be more representative, both because it makes the group into a genuine quintessence of all major medieval fears, and because there is a solid case to be made that these three are the big names with the most reinterpretations.  I have nothing against Ōtakemaru, but his historical popularity seems more limited. He’s somewhere between Kidōmaru and completely z listers like idk. Kugamimi no Mikasa in terms of notoriety and I feel like you could make a case for the likes of Zegaibō, Tarōbō or even Tesso over him as “greatest yokai” and whatnot.

Perhaps an argument can be made that Ōtakemaru’s relative lack of actual notoriety makes him more suitable for Touhou. That’s a point I can’t refute. However, in practical terms, I am not sure what a character based on him would offer that Suika couldn’t do better - all that sets him apart from just being a budget Shuten Dōji is the location he lived in and his opponent, and neither of these would really matter in Touhou most likely. Tbh I’m not even sure if there’s any real benefit to going with Ōtakemaru over Suzuka Gozen, frankly. Not even being the character with most potential in own story seems like a problem.

As far as other oni go, I’m not sure if I’d go with Fujiwara no Chikata’s minions either, they are pretty bland themselves; they work well in Megaten but that’s about it. Not like Suiki is a character in the proper sense in Touhou - I’ve seen people not even realizing this is a given name and I can't blame them. As far as oni who would be fun to see go, Momiji instantly comes to mind (the story is even set in the right province lol), but there are many good candidates. Off the top of my head: the oni Ki no Haseo encountered (I feel like you could do a lot with the body parts patchwork woman from that story. Dr. Frankenstein themed oni?), the oni of Rashomon version from the Minamoto no Hiromasa legend which makes him a reincarnation of a master craftsman from India, or Abe no Nakamaro (my personal favorite, I have a character based on him).

#japanese miscellanea #touhou

[thatgirl4815]

Just piggybacking onto an earlier Ask pointing out how Ray doesn't react when Top holds Mew's hands - I actually found that whole sequence starting from the coke-snorting quite upsetting precisely because of how passive Ray seemed throughout. Admittedly I'm still very angry at Mew so it might be clouding my judgement(!), but first we see Mew's lacklustre response when Ray thanks him for picking him, his almost scoff when Ray tells him he loves him, then we get the avoided kiss and him leading Ray out by the hand, and then the Top confrontation where it felt like Ray had been totally reduced to an accessory - he's virtually silent throughout, his face is mostly pretty blank, and he doesn't even really react when Mew throws his drink in Top's face, and definitely doesn't look like he's enjoying the encounter, at least until Mew kisses him. Mew might have been the one in the collar but in that scene it's Ray that reminded me of a dog, and it just made me super sad. It's yet another reason they shouldn't be a couple - Ray's sense of self is entirely subsumed by Mew when they're together because of the imbalance in their relationship aka Ray's idolisation (which in itself obviously isn't Mew's fault - it's when he takes advantage of it that I get mad). We see it even before they "get together" - in almost all their 1:1 scenes, Ray immediately deflects any attention back onto Mew. The only time we really see him express his own agency is unfortunately/disastrously a) the bathtub scene, b) when he kisses him while he's sleeping, and c) his ep 6 meltdown (I'm not counting the end of ep 7 convo cos I 100% believe Ray wouldn't have brought anything up if Mew hadn't led the convo in that direction). Anyway, don't really have a point much beyond expressing how, given what happened beforehand, Ray still just makes me ache with pity and sadness, even after he turns on Sand.

“Mew might have been the one in the collar but in that scene it's Ray that reminded me of a dog”

^Yes, that is a perfect way to describe it!! I think all the context before Ray’s fight with Sand is what makes that scene hit so much different than it does in the Ep8 preview. That might also be why we see Ray fade to the background so much during the encounter between Top and Mew. Ray’s realizing that he’s only a pawn in Mew’s revenge plot.

You’re right—Ray’s agency with Mew is extremely limited. The interesting thing is that Ray has kind of imposed these limitations onto himself by putting Mew on such a pedestal. I think there’s a part of him that is utterly terrified that he will do something wrong and lose Mew. But I suspect there’s another part of him that wants better from Mew; I wouldn’t be surprised if he denies those thoughts though, because he thinks he has no right to them. He has Mew, and that’s already more than he deserves (obviously that’s not true, but I could see that being Ray’s thought process during the scene with Top).

Really, the ways Ray interacts with Mew are so painfully indicative of how much he craves someone to care about him. He’s decided that Mew is that person, so he will do all he can to make it so, even if the reality doesn’t live up to the fantasy. Of course it will take a lot for him to finally admit it won’t work out, simply because he’s spent so long wanting it.

Ahh, tbh the psychological insights are the only compelling aspect of the RayMew dynamic for me, haha. Poor Ray.

#excellent way of describing Ray’s relationship with Mew! #I agree 100% #only friends the series #once again I feel like I always sound like a Mew anti #not the intention but…Mew is not high on my list these days #ofts #only friends #raysand #RayMew #only friends meta #sandray #only friends ask #ask #Ray X mew #mew X ray #Ray X sand #sand X ray