aro-ace culture is while being outed to your generally supporting (?) parents they still ask if you're dating when mentioning a friend with different sex and just answering annoyed that you'll probably never date, only to get the reply that this seems like a lonely life because your friends will eventually leave you behind.
Realizing having been told that all your life really lead towards the expectation to be abandoned and working hard with your friends to overcome this.
I'm so glad to have great friends who support and reassure me.
Interestingly, some studies actually found distinct evidence that single people tend to be more socially integrated with others in their lives than married couples:
"Does singlehood isolate or integrate? Examining the link between marital status and ties to kin, friends, and neighbors", https://doi.org/10.1177/0265407515597564 in case this Open Access article is, for some reason, blocked and you'd like to check out a friendly place that lets you insert DOIs for unblocked articles.
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(Warning: this post contains mentions of homophobia/transphobia, outing, fake/toxic friends, bullying, deadnaming, and other uncomfortable subjects)
Fuuuck it's like 2:30 in the morning when I'm typing this and I'm so so tired but I feel like I need to say this right now or else I'll forget
So, noncanon characters in my canon? I've already gone into the whole Ray thing (basically, my source is separated into Cases, and each Case has a different character representing the Storyteller. Evelynn is the original Case 2 Storyteller, but in my canon, it was Ray instead, who was originally the Case 1 Storyteller. Does that make sense?), so I'll avoid talking about that for now. You know, after that whole context-dump.
I'd like to talk about this asshole named Andrew.
Basically, I was in 7th grade. Even back then, I was bullied pretty badly, mainly for being transmasc and how I still presenting femininely despite insisting I was a boy. I had no friends, and I hadn't met Stephanie yet, so really, I had never had a friend up to that point.
Well, then Andrew came along. He came up to me and started talking to me, and I gotta admit, I was pretty shocked. Andrew was one of the popular jock kids, if I remember correctly, so I was a little suspicious of him being so nice to me so early on. However, I was really desperate for a friend, so I ended up latching on to him.
...It was a little rough, to say the least. He'd always just talk about himself and never let me say anything, he'd "forget" to use the right name and pronouns for me, and he just had the weirdest vibe... it made me super uncomfortable, but again, I needed a friend, so I let it all slide.
Then, somehow, after a couple weeks, I fell in love with him.
I don't know how it happened. I was so scared and confused, because I'd never had a crush on anyone until then, not even a small one. I never even thought I could love anyone like that. The fact that we were both boys just made it even scarier. What would everyone else say? I was already a "fake boy", but now I was a "fake boy" who liked other boys. I had no idea what to do.
I ended up telling Andrew about it, because I had no idea what else to do. I remember it clearly. I was apologizing so much to him, begging him not to tell anyone else, crying because I was so terrified that he'd hate me.
How did it go? Well, you know that thing some bullies do where they pretend to be your friend purely so they can get into your head and not-so-subtly mock you while you're too oblivious to notice?
Yeah.
He told me it was fine, but then he never talked to me again after that. He ended up telling all of his friends about me being gay, and from then on, everything got so much worse.
I'll never forget how I found out about it. I was walking down the hall alone on the way to my locker, and I saw Andrew and his friends. Right when I was about to say hi, one of his friends yelled "[cr-word] Kelly wants to be a [f-slur]" (it doesn't have the same effect when it's censored like that, but I think it's obvious what I mean). They all laughed at me. Andrew pushed me onto the floor. I felt someone kick me. I was devastated.
...so yeah, that's the story of how I was outed by my crush. Trust me, it fucked me up. I was too scared to talk to anyone at school for, like, two years after that. I think I first started cutting shortly after that whole incident. It was awful.
Sorry for the essay. I just really wanted to share this, and this ask game just gave me an excuse, I guess. I need to go to bed so bad lmao.
-Kennith Simmons
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