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#outlander!crack
devilsrecreation · 2 months
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I just thought of this:
So I’m thinking in my crackfic, after Jasiri and Kenge come back from Oz (as in wake up from a dream) and she’s telling everyone about it, Janja jokingly says “Next time, I’m goin’ to a fantasy world”, hinting at a joke sequel crackfic which I’ll never make.
And now I give you…..Janja in Wonderland
Janja follows what he swears is Ushari’s ghost down a hole or an Aardvark den into a strange new world where everyone seems to be crazy
The cast:
Janja as Alice
Ushari as the White Rabbit (ghost snake)
Sumu plays the role of the Doorknob but instead is the gatekeeper
Cheezi and Chungu as Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum
Mzingo and his Parliament as the Flowers
Shupavu and Njano as the Cheshire Cat (skinks)
Kenge as the Caterpillar
Reirei as the Mad Hatter
Kiburi as the March Hare
Goigoi is that little door mouse inside the teacup cuz he’s so sleepy
Zira as the Queen of Hearts
Scar as the King of Hearts
The rest of the Outlanders as cards
Azaad gets the role of the Dodo, with the Night Pride participating in the Caucus Race
Extra notes:
-Janja’s the self aware one this time. He recognizes all of his friends but decides to play along for the hell of it
-Wema and Tunu play the role of Dinah (Alice’s cat), who follow Janja until he falls into the hole. Then they do that little kid “BYYYYEEEEEE!!!”
-Janja never cries, instead he gets pissy and fed up with everything. “Hey, that ain’t fair!” and “Oh, that is some bullshit” is a running gag
-Kiburi gets an accessory this time. He wears a gold chain and a cute little bowtie
-Instead of smoking, Janja finds Kenge using a tree as a punching bag. He’s also carved vowels in various trees with his claws. He gets mad when Janja grows bigger than him
-The scene where Alice gets stuck in the White Rabbit’s house doesn’t happen here. Mainly cuz I wouldn’t know what to do with it
-The “eat me” and “drink me” things still exist, but it’s a bone instead of a biscuit and a drink bowl instead of a bottle
-The minute Janja sees Scar and Zira, he immediately believes he’s gonna die 😭. It goes as well as you would expect
-Mzingo and his parliament are basically a club where they talk about random stuff while holding various types of flowers
-The fic ends with Janja waking up from his dream and everybody thinking he’s crazy Jfhhfgdg
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fwtcanimelover · 1 year
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What do you mean throwing sporks at the enemy wasn’t an option? lol.
I can’t remember a time during the Jedi Consular story when my character was actually given backup. So, I made a joke about it. I think my pure-lightside chaos Jedi Consular Kea Fey’lieshan is a bad influence, but in a goofy sense. Anyway, more SWTOR chaos.
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cookie-de-baunilha · 1 month
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a j/p modern au fic where john and percy compete with each other to see which one of them solves the cain’s jawbone puzzle first
plot twist: my girl minnie manages to outdo both of them
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beefsteakclub · 4 months
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John: "I could make you scream."
Jamie: "I think not."
John: comes up out of the water looking like Medusa.
Jamie: screams
John: "I didn't mean like that! "
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lestatisprince · 1 year
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I am not the devil. But after you hear what I have to say you might think otherwise.
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eorzeashan · 10 months
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being able to actually name Eight as eight in a swtor player name has been funnier than expected bc in a vet FP I was in, instead of addressing him by any written/shorthand version of his name or even his class like they would if it was ffxiv, they just called him "8"
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rubensmuse · 1 year
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okay so I'm playing through the JKnight storyline for the first time ever, pretty much blind, with Ántonia. and I got to the part where Scourge gravely imparts that vision he had 300 years ago, about seeing the Knight's face in a vision as the one who ultimately defeats the Emperor and "holds his power in her hands". And entertaining the possibility of him being correct about that, taking KOTFE+KOTET into consideration, directs me toward two outcomes:
Most Sensible, Cohesive Route: Ántonia is my canon Outlander
More Interesting, Extremely Hilarious Route: Lyde (imperial agent, Ántonia's twin sister) is my canon Outlander
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drjdorr · 11 months
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since the DM for my d and d group decided to start working on a new campaign(before you ask we haven't finished the previous one but whatever) so I decided to do something that apparently is a pretty common thing for d and d playing transfems and made a girl character.
her name is Cozu and she is a catfolk(setting homebrew) druid outlander who neither understands nor cares to learn "laws", views animals more highly than people, and values freedom to a high degree... so yeah, at some point she definitely is going to get the party in trouble by releasing a bunch of animals, luckily the rest of the party isn't much better about civilization so could be worse
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celestibound · 2 years
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unprompted asks | @chongyuniisms​​​​
gives the 5k to lumine instead.
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“ Pleasure doing business with you, Chongyun! ” The best sibling shall always prevail in the end — at least Lumine didn’t need to whore out in order to gain some extra mora.
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cfmanymuses · 8 months
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"What in the nine hells...? No, nope, you know what? I'm staying out of this. Not my circus." You and me both, Namira. "Who said that?!" C'mon, you know it was me!
0 notes
avocad1s · 10 months
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Bring Back What Once Was Mine
Chapter Summary: At last The Creator has returned from Celestia with a new view on how to protect Teyvat. However, the greatest mystery is shrouded behind cracked facades. The fragments will be uncovered at last.
Characters Mentioned: A ton of characters mentioned and included
Content Warning: Cult and Religious themes ahead! You've been warned.
Reader is the true creator of Teyvat. GN! Reader
Part Seven Part Eight (You are here) THE END
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It took only a few weeks for the word to spread all throughout Teyvat that the one they had been worshiping for decades wasn’t the real Creator. Many were distraught and confused by the news and rightfully so, that imposter had been the only “Creator” they’ve known their entire lives. All everyone wanted to do know is meet their true Creator or have the chance to simply rest their gaze upon them.
Unfortunately for the Traveler, as more and more people became aware of her involvement, the more letters and gifts she was given addressed to the Creator. It only took a week until she had to keep the gifts in her Serenitea Pot, since she had too many to carry now. But letters weren’t just sent to her for the Creator, many of her powerful friends like the Kamisato siblings, Ningguang, and the Acting Grand Master would invite her to dinner and ask how the Creator was like so they can prepare for their return.
However Lumine couldn’t lie, she was just as anxious for their return like everyone else. Even though she should just move on to the next nation to complete her quest of meeting the Seven, she finds herself stalling hoping that once the Creator comes back to Teyvat she’d be the first person they’ll greet. Yet maybe that’s just her being delusional, surely the Creator wouldn’t come see an Outlander before anyone else, before the Archons.
Lumine lets out a frustrated sigh as strikes down the final hilichurl in the camp before putting her sword away. Thinking about her brother that she missed dearly was the main thing keeping her mind off the Creator, but she couldn’t help but wonder what Aether would’ve thought of them. During her journeys with Dainsleif, she knew that her brother hated the Archons and he chosen the Abyss over humanity, but would that include the Creator too? She completely understands why he would have reservations about the Archons, but the feeling she got just being near the Creator felt like she could trust them with her life.
“Hey Lumine?”
The Traveler wipes the sweat off her brow noticing that Paimon was back next to her, “what is it? Don’t tell me you’re hungry again.”
Paimon scoffs crossing her arms, “firstly, Paimon is always hungry. Secondly, Paimon was worried about you. You are taking more commissions than usual. Are you alright?”
Paimon was right, even though the Traveler was known for her hardworking and selfless nature, she was definitely overdoing it.
Lumine breathes out feeling fatigue growing through her body, “I feel completely fine.”
Paimon frowns, “will you take a break, please?”
The Traveler wanted to ignore her friend’s worries but she lets out a sigh nodding, “alright. Should we head to the City and order some food?”
The fairy’s eyes light up but she shakes her head, “you know Paimon enjoys your cooking much more!” Lumine knows that Paimon only said that so she wouldn’t be bombarded with letters and gifts for the Creator, but she decides not to say anything.
Lumine and Paimon work together to construct a campfire, once finished, Lumine begins preparing something random for the two of them to share.
“So are you going to ask the Creator about your brother?” Paimon asks breaking the silence that was once between them.
Lumine tears her gaze of the flame looking at Paimon, “they haven’t been on Teyvat in hundreds of years. I doubt they know anything about him.”
“Yeah but they are the Creator. They have a connection to Teyvat that no one else has.”
Lumine shrugs, “well that’s if we ever see them again.”
Paimon tilts her head confusion laced in her voice, “why wouldn’t we see them again. They are our friend after all.”
The Creator is the most important person in this world, and know that everyone knows they’ll be back soon, they may not have any time for Lumine to ask them anything.
“Paimon’s right, we’re friends!”
Lumine snaps her head in the direction of the voice a feeling of hope in her chest.
Just a meter away, the Creator stood giving them a small smile and a wave before approaching their makeshift campsite. They sit in the soft grass next to Lumine crossing their legs comfortably. “Why wouldn’t I make time for you?”
The Traveler stares at them with wide eyes, “you’re back?”
They nod, “sorry for keeping you waiting. Being in Celestia took longer than I expected.”
“Oh right! Paimon forgot about that. How did that go?”
They sigh, “I think Celestia and I came to an understanding, but I’ll tell you about it later. How’s Teyvat been?”
“The Fatui and I managed to spread the word of the imposter. Now everyone knows you’re the real deal.”
The Creator smiles at the Outlander causing the girl to feel a warmth spread throughout her chest.
“I will never forget everything you did for me Lumine, and if you ever need anything at all. Please do not hesitate to ask.”
Paimon nudges the girls shoulder.
“Actually there is one thing I’d like to ask.” Lumine says sheepishly.
“Oh you do? What is it?”
Lumine lets out a sigh before telling the Creator everything that lead up to her getting to this world. The Unknown God, her brother, Khaenri’ah, everything. She tells them about her quest of meeting the Seven to see if any of them was this God that separated her and her brother.
The Creator gives her a sympathetic smile, “I am sorry about all of the things you had went through I had no idea, but regarding your brother, I have met him.”
Paimon and Lumine both look shocked at their confession. “When? What did he say?”
“It was before I confronted the Imposter, I didn’t know he was your brother. He didn’t mention anything, and when I met him I couldn’t see his face clearly to see any resemblance to you.” The Creator explains. “We didn’t talk about much, we were interrupted before he could tell me anything important.”
Lumine looks down disappointedly as the Creator reaches over patting her shoulder, “don’t look so down. You’re still looking for him right? I am here to help you no matter what. Siblings should never be separated.”
Lumine smiles hearing their sweet words, they were actually offering to help them anytime she needed. Even though her other friends throughout Teyvat helped the best they could, she knew she could depend on the Creator to keep her word. She felt that she would see her brother sooner than she expects.
“So what are you going to do now?” Paimon asks.
“I’m going to visit all of the nations. I think my presence has been missed dearly.”
“Missed dearly would be an understatement…” Paimon retorts.
“Where will you go first?”
The Creator brings their finger to their chin pondering for a moment, “I think I’ll go to…”
-
The choice is now yours Your Grace, every nation will be written as if you chose them first. Read one, read them all!
However reading the last one is vital ;)
-
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MONDSTADT
Jean was busier than ever.
As the Acting Grand Master, Jean is constantly dealing with the well-being of Mondstadt and leading the Knights of Favonius. Even though her friends always try to persuade her to take a break, she couldn’t afford to rest now.
It was only a few weeks ago when the Traveler had came to Mondstadt and told them the devastating news about the Creator, or rather who they thought was the Creator. Although everyone took the news hard, especially a certain bard, there was no time to grieve. The real Creator could walk through the gates any second and Jean wants to be prepared for the moment.
A knock on the door breaks her concentration as Lisa enter a frown on her lips. “You’ve been in here all day,” she says softly, “aren’t you going to take a break?”
Jean yawns rubbing her eyes, “I can’t take a break now Lisa.”
The librarian puts her hands on her hips, “yeah, yeah I know. Their Grace could arrive any minute now and you want to be prepared.”
Jean nods as Lisa sighs.
“But do you really want to meet Their Grace like this? You look tired and overworked.”
Jean opens her mouth to rebuttal her friends words when the door shoots open again. It was Amber, her hands were on her knees as she was breathing heavily.
“Their Grace is here.”
-
Once you entered Mondstadt, all eyes were on you. The knights who were patrolling around the city stopped to stare before they began bowing greeting you. Shop owners and other patrons eyes were as big as saucers as they bow to you in respect.
“T-their Grace has returned!”
“And they came to Mondstadt first! This surely means that this is their favorite nation, no?”
Excited murmurs filled the streets but the first to approach you was a man with red hair, it was tied into a low ponytail and the hair that fell in front of his face blew in the wind as his bowed before you.
“Your Grace,” he says his gaze on the ground, “my name is Diluc, welcome to Mondstadt.”
You smile using your hand to gesture for him to stand up straight. He follows your orders quickly, fixing his posture as his gaze meets yours.
“Mondstadt is as beautiful as ever.” You praise.
A smile grows on Dilucs face his cheek turning red as he clears his throat, “thank you for complimenting my homeland. Praise from you is the greatest blessing.”
“Oh there you are Master Diluc!” A voice calls out, “how about I sing in your tavern for a free bottle of Dandelion win-“
A man, or a bard based on how he dressed approached the two of you. The large smile that was once on his face is replaced with a look of shock as he looks at you.
“Y-your Grace…?”
The bard is frozen in place as he continues to stare, even after Diluc began to whisper-yell at him for not bowing to you.
He fixes his face as he smiles warmly at you, “Y-your Grace, Welcome to Mondstadt! My name is Venti! Venti the Bard!”
You raise your brow. “Venti the bard?”
You wouldn’t be the Creator if you couldn’t immediately tell who was an Archon or not, and looking at this supposed bard…
You knew that it was Barbatos and you knew he knew that as well.
“Ehe! Yep that’s me! The traveler told us all about your triumphs in Sumeru City. I believe something that great is worthy of a song, don’t you?”
You laugh at his words, even after all this time the Anemo Archon was as lively as ever.
“Your Grace welcome to Mondstadt, I apologize for our rude welcoming.” A group of four were approaching you, the blonde woman leading.
“I am Jean, the Acting Grand Master of the Knights of Favonius.” She looks over at the three standing near her, “This is our head librarian Lisa, our outrider Amber, and our chief alchemist Albedo.”
All of them greet you but you couldn’t help but notice that the one named Albedo never tore his intense gaze off your body.
“I see that you already met Master Diluc and Venti.”
You nod, “yes and you have no reason to apologize for the welcoming. My visit was out of the blue anyway.”
She raises a hand shaking her head, “you are always welcome in Mondstadt Your Grace, please allow me to show you around.” Jean smiles holding out her hand that you gladly take, Albedo and Lisa follow closely behind you two.
Once you had made it to the KoF headquarters, there were more knights waiting to greet you. The calvary captain named Kaeya left an everlasting impression with his sweet words, he was also the only one to kiss the back of your hand when he greeted you. Klee, the youngest in the knights immediately ran up to you hugging you tightly, the other knights try to tell her not to do that since it was rude but you said it was okay.
She asked if you wanted to go fish blasting with her, whatever that was.
Noelle was also so sweet, the maid had offered to do anything you needed even if it sounded like an inconvenience. ‘Nothing is an inconvenience for me, especially when it comes to you.’ She would say. While the sheepish Sucrose couldn’t even meet your gaze without her face turning completely red, she only managed to get the greeting past her lips since Albedo was there to guide her.
Like Keaya, Lisa was a natural flirt, she was constantly complimenting your looks saying how the imposter could never match the true beauty that you possess.
Then there was Rosaria, one of the nuns from the Chruch of Favonius. You had encountered her when you saw Barbara begging her to join in the festivities for your arrival. Once you had approached the two girls the shorter one immediately bows babbling about how happy she is to have you here. Rosaria on the other hand, asks if you are enjoying your time in Mondstadt. She also states that if you’re ever in trouble, she’ll help you. It seems that she shows her devotion to you in a more casual way than others.
Once you had met everyone, Diluc invited you to come to Angels Share, a tavern that he owned within the city. The tavern was what you expected, but what was surprising was seeing Diluc behind the bar his hair pulled into a high ponytail.
“Your Grace,” he smiles, sitting down the glass he was drying before you walked in. You sit down on the barstool across from him.
“Would you like some wine?”
You nod and Diluc turns around looking at the varieties of wine he had before reach of a particular one, he opens it pouring it in a glass.
“Here you are your Grace.”
The tavern door open again.
“Make that three glasses actually!”
Kaeya and Venti approach the bar sitting in the empty barstools next to you. Venti sits on your left, Kaeya on your right.
Diluc sighs, “do you have any mora?”
Venti pouts and Kaeya laughs a bit. “Aww c’mon don’t be like that, the Creator is here and we are celebrating.”
The redhead rolls his eyes, “we are celebrating but only Their Grace is drinking on the house.”
You smile bringing the glass to your lips as they continue their banter.
“Oh? You must be trying to win their favor by allowing them to drink for free? And everyone thought it was going to be me trying to win their attention.”
Diluc’s face grows red at Kaeya’s words, “t-that’s not it! I’m just showing them proper hospitality.”
You chuckle setting down the glass wiping your face a bit, “your wine is absolutely lovely Diluc, I see why everyone loves it.”
His face gets even darker as he nods, “I’m glad you like it your Grace. If you ever want any more, please let me know.” He ignores the two sitting near you as they continue to tease.
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LIYUE
The second you had stepped into Liyue, Xiao was by your side, you weren’t sure how he knew when you’d be arriving but you decided not to question it.
“Your Grace,” the Adepti is kneeling by your feet keeping his gaze on the ground, “you’ve returned.”
“Please stand for me Xiao.”
He immediately raises to his feet meeting your gaze, “are you heading to Liyue Harbor?”
You nod, you never got to step in Liyue Harbor the last time you were in the nation of contracts, being abruptly interrupted by the Fatui had thrown you off your original plan.
“Is it alright if I walk with you?” He asks softly.
It was clear he didn’t want to be a burden on you but you had a feeling that even if you said no he would follow just to make sure nothing bad happened to you while traveling.
“Sure I don’t mind the company.” Xiao’s face brightens at your words as he moves to walk by your side.
The walk with the Yaksha was peaceful, he wasn’t much of a conversationalist but you could tell that he enjoyed being at your side. Once you had gotten to the path leading to the bridge of the harbor, Xiao’s steps faltered.
“Is something wrong?” You turn to face him noticing a conflicted look on his face.
“Thank you for allowing me to walk with you Your Grace but I should return to my duties.”
You furrow you brows, “you’re not coming in with me?”
He lets out a breath closing his eyes as he shakes his head, “I shouldn’t….”
You weren’t sure why he wouldn’t enter the city with you but you didn’t want to force him to do anything he didn’t want. You give him a small smile bidding farewell, before he disappeared into the air he repeats what he said to you last time.
‘If you ever need anything or ever find yourself in trouble, just call out my name.’
-
Zhongli was at the funeral parlor when word hit that you had entered the city, he could feel his heart ache. All he wanted to do was greet you but he had to go about it strategically, if he doesn’t, he could easily reveal himself as the Geo or rather the former Geo Archon.
He gives his eccentric boss some random excuse to leave for a moment and she tells him to hurry back so they can think of new deals in honor of the Creators arrival.
After roaming the city for a moment, you had finally came into view talking to Ganyu. He fixes his tailcoat before walking over his hands laced behind his back.
“Your Grace, I see you have made it to the Harbor.”
Your eyes leave Ganyu to stare up at the man.
“Morax?”
He feels his heart swell, of course his God would recognize him no matter what form he takes.
“Actually it’s Zhongli now.”
Your eyes widen, so Morax had stepped down from his duties as an Archon? You expect something like that from Barbatos but from Morax? Never. You give him a smile, “I see, so Zhongli… it’s nice to see you again.”
Zhongli wanted to keep talking to you, to express just how much he missed you while you were gone. To apologize for worshiping another, he is your oldest devotee if anyone should’ve recognized something was wrong, it should’ve been him.
But all he does is smile as he bows to you, .”your presence has been missed Your Grace.”
Ganyu who was watching you interact with the man, suddenly excuses herself saying that she is needed back in the Jade Chamber to finish the preparations for your arrival. Even though you express that nothing extravagant needs to be done, she explains that Ningguang had been preparing this since the Traveler announced the news of the imposter.
“I wish that I could’ve shown you around the Harbor your Grace but I know that Rex Lap- er Zhongli will do a wonderful job as well.”
Once Ganyu was gone Zhongli offers you his hand, he guides you around the Harbor showing you all of the shops that truly makes Liyue what it is. He also points out all the statues and offerings people had left you, there were many stacks of letters, expensive items, and even books left around all your statues. You made a mental note that you would come back for them all later.
Zhongli also introduced you to Madame Ping who also seemed really happy to see you even offering if you’d like to drink tea with her once you’re free that you happily agreed to. She also mentioned about inviting some old friends, you have a feeling on who that may be.
Speaking of old friends, the other Adepti had made the trip down to the Harbor to meet you. They haven’t been in the Harbor since Osial was released by a Harbinger. Liyue Harbor is where mortals resided and while they will protect it with their life, they rather not spend their time here. Unless you were there then they don’t mind bending their own boundaries a bit.
After spending most of your day with Zhongli, night soon came and Ganyu came back. She escorts you to the Jade Chamber to meet Ningguang and to see what they have planned for you. Zhongli goes back to the funeral parlor expecting to be chewed out by Hu Tao for being gone longer than he expected.
Once in the Jade Chamber Ningguang immediately begins showering you with gifts, many of them jewls and clothing. She even had and array of Liyue specialties made just for you.
Yelan was also at the Jade Chamber, she asked you about your time in Snezhnaya but you decided to keep it vague. Whether that was to keep her in ignorance or because you didn’t want to relive it is unclear.
“Your Grace, would you come outside with me?” Ningguang speaks to you in a soft voice as she leads you to the front of the Chamber. The stars in the sky were shining brightly, you could even see Celestia more clearer from this height.
“It’s very beautiful up here but I actually brought you out here for another reason.”
Soon enough l fireworks began going off in the sky with many different shapes and bright colors. You could see many adults in children in Liyue stare at the sky in amazement which only warmed your heart even more.
“I apologize Your Grace this is all I could do last minute, but I have some more thing planned for you tomorrow.”
You give Ningguang a small grin, “this is already wonderful, I can only imagine what you have planned for tomorrow.”
Ningguang feels her face grow hot as she looks back up at the sky. Ganyu, Keqing, and Yelan could only smile knowing that this surely had a lasting impact on you. If you decide to take permanent residence in one of the nations, they hope that it’s theirs.
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INAZUMA
You had managed to get aboard a ship named the Crux lead by captain Beidou with the help of the Traveler. She had welcomed you enthusiastically exclaiming how she was honored that the Creator wanted to board her ship.
Beidou and her crew weren’t the only ones excited to have you on board. Kazuha, who had introduced himself as a wandering samurai and a poet, also expressed his gratitude that he could meet you face to face.
Beidou cuts him off by ruffling his hair saying how he was just being humble. She tells you how Kazuha had managed to stop a killing blow from the Raiden Shogun and also managed to activate two visions at once. Normally Kazuha would brush off any form of praise with a small smile and a thank you, but seeing your surprised face and hearing you praise his talents made his face grow unbelievably red. Beidou laughs at her friends uncharacteristic behavior patting his shoulder.
The trip was unexpectedly calm, Lumine had told you of the constant storm that had surrounded Inazuma but it seemed to have finally dissipated. Once Beidou had anchored the ship in Ritou, there was only one person waiting on the dock who immediately jumped off one of the crates walking towards the ship.
“Kazuha? Beidou? I wasn’t expecting you two to return so soon!”
Kazuha laughs lightly, “Hello Thoma, we weren’t expecting to be back so early either but we had an unexpected guest.”
Thomas eyes perk up at the mention of the guest, “oh! Is it the Traveler? I’ve been wondering when they would return.”
Beidou chuckles, “no we got someone way more renowned than Lumine.”
Once you are on the dock, Thomas face immediately brightens. “Your Grace! I had no idea you were coming to Inazuma!”
“My arrival is unexpected, you’re the first person to know besides these two.”
His face brightens even more.
“Your Grace if you allow me I would love to escort you to Inazuma City. I know that everyone is dying to see you!”
Thomas personality felt like a breath of fresh air as you agree to let him guide you out of Ritou to Inazuma city. Beidou and Kazuha bid their farewell saying that if you need a ride to any of the other nations they’ll come back to get you, the two board the ship and it sails off.
The guards who were preventing outsiders from entering the City quickly move out of the way once they see your face not bothering to ask for any type of paperwork. If they did, they knew that the Shogun would have them dealt with.
It was about an hour after you arrived to Inazuma City when Ei had finally got the news. Kujou Sara came rushing and the Raiden Shogun, the puppet, asked her to state her business. As soon as she mentioned that you were in the City, Ei immediately left the Plane Of Euthymia.
She feels horrible that she wasn’t the first to greet you once you had entered the city but there’s nothing she can do about it now. All she can do is find you now and ask for forgiveness.
Would you forgive her? She wonders.
She wasn’t there to greet you and there’s no doubt that someone had told you what she had done to her nation. She feels a bitter taste enter in her mouth which she despises. She doesn’t want you to be angry at her, she’ll do anything to earn your forgiveness. Her sister Makoto always told her how amazing and forgiving you were so hopefully that hasn’t changed.
When Ei finally found you, you were at the Komore Teahouse, she burst through the doors trying her best to keep her composure as she follows the sound of noose coming from room one.
And there you are, in all your glory.
Ayaka and Ayato who sat next to you quickly stop talking as they stare at their Archon who stood at the threshold. Thoma, who sat across from the three of you, quickly look down at the table.
You sit down your teacup clearing your throat as you look at her.
“Ei? Is that you?”
She immediately falls onto her knees looking down at the floor, “yes it’s me Your Grace. Please forgive me.”
You glance at the siblings before standing walking towards Ei, her long braid spilled onto the floor as she kneeled before you.
“Forgive you? For what?”
She looks up her watery eyes meeting yours, “for everything…”
You decided it would be best to leave with the Electro Archon, it was already awkward the second she entered the room but you doubt that she’ll leave this teahouse without you.
Ei was quiet as she followed behind you in Inazuma city, everyone you past mouth are agape as they mutter that the Raiden Shogun has showed her face in the city again but this time with the Creator.
You notice how Ei’s face lights up once you near a dango stand, you stop asking the shopkeeper for two and he hands them to you with a large grin on his face saying they’re on the house. (luckily cuz its not like you have mora, where’s Diluc, Ningguang, and Pantalone when you need them?)
At first Ei declines the sweet treat saying that she shouldn’t indulge herself but with a few reassuring words from you, she quickly takes the sweet treat eating it.
Ei enjoyed the time she had spent with you and if you were to stay in Inazuma for good, she would never return into her puppet again. Being here with you felt like the eternity she was striving for, maybe if she begged you to stay here with her, you would consider it?
She decides against it as she watches you leave to see her other islands. She wants to go with you but she knows she must think of a way to properly apologize to you, she had to go talk to her dear friend at the Grand Narukami Shrine.
-
You decided to take some time to yourself on the outskirts of the city resting in the warm sand. Word of your arrival spread quickly and there was no doubt that everyone would be making their way here to see you soon so you just wanted to relax for a bit. You could hear children screaming in the distance as they played, you weren’t sure what they were playing but it sounded like they were having fun.
However your alone time didn’t last long. Many footsteps could be heard approaching from behind you , it sound like three maybe four people? But what really caught your attention was the loud voice that followed.
“Pfft… I might’ve lost this time but next time I’ll definitely win!”
You hear the others agreeing with the statement which causes you to turn around.
It was an Oni, you didn’t even know they were still around anymore.
The Oni notices you staring and his face brightens as he approaches you. “Hello stranger! I’ve never seen you around here before, my name is Arataki "The One and Oni" Itto! Leader of the Arataki Gang!”
He was definitely more lively than anyone else you’ve meet recently and that made you giggle a bit. You stand up from the warm sand a grin one your face, did he even recognize you? He approached you so casually as if you were just another Inazuma citizen.
“The Arataki Gang?” You say in between giggles.
Once Itto confirms that you’re not going to throw any beans at him he gets even closer, “You haven’t heard of the Arataki Gang before? No problem, from today on, we are now acquainted. We are the Arataki Gang of Hanamizaka! Who might you be?”
You introduce yourself by name not mentioning anything about your status, what could you say? You want to see how far this will go.
Talking with Itto was like a breath a fresh air, after everything you’ve been through, this was the exact break you needed. You couldn’t even remember the last time you’ve laughed this much.
What you learned quickly is the Itto was very competitive when he challenged you to a Onikabuto battle, the rules were simple. Find a beetle and the two will battle until one of them flips. Itto warns you that the he’s been training his Onikabuto for days but that doesn’t stop him from helping you find a worthy opponent.
With the help of his gang that battle commences. You watch the two bugs battle quietly while Itto begins chanting for his to win.
After a few moments his beetle is flipped onto his back.
“I win!” You exclaim.
Itto runs his comb through his hair, “pssh… good job new friend! But that was definitely beginners luck! How about another round?”
“There you are Boss, I’ve been searching everywhere for you.” A woman with green hair and a mask begins walking towards the group.
“Shinobu!” Itto says boisterously, “I was just having a Onikabuto Battle with my new friend here!”
Shinobu sighs, “I’m sorry if my boss had caused you any troubl-“
Suddenly she stops talking as she stares at your face, if her mouth wasn’t covered her jaw might’ve hit the floor with his wide her eyes were.
“Erm Shinobu?” Itto snaps his fingers.
“Why didn’t you say you were with the Creator!” The girl practically screams as she gets closer, “Your Grace I am honored to meet you! I’m sorry for any trouble Itto might’ve caused you.”
You grin, “he hasn’t caused any trouble at all! I’ve had so much fun!”
Itto watches the two of you a puzzled look on his face. “Wait wait wait…. What do you mean Creator?”
Shinobu looks over at her Boss, “don’t you remember me telling you that the Creator was in Inazuma?”
He laughs, “Of course I remember! Why wouldn’t I remember something like that?”
She lets out a sigh face palming, “are you telling me that you’ve been hanging with Their Grace this whole time and didn’t recognize them?”
Itto laughs again but it comes out more awkwardly as he looks to the side.
“None of you recognized them?”
The rest of the gang also look off to the side.
You laugh causing everyone to look over at you, “thank you for teaching me this game Itto! I’ve had lots of fun with you today.”
Now knowing who you are, your words makes Itto grow a bit sheepish as he brushes his comb through his hair once more, “Pfft, of course Your Grace I’ll teach you all other games I know and trust me it’s a lot! Haha! Although I should apologize how the Arataki Gang approached you,that was rude of us!” The rest of the gang murmur in agreement.
“Now how ‘bout that round two? Though I should let you know that I won’t be going easy on you! I’m going to win this time!”
You grin, “well bring it on!”
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SUMERU
Nahida was the first to greet you once you had entered Sumeru City, she was surrounded by many scholars and sages from the Akademiya who bowed as they watched you interact with their Archon.
Nahida hold her small hand out to you, “welcome back to Sumeru Your Grace.”
You take the girls hand as she leads you throughout Sumeru City. “I’m glad to back under better circumstances.”
She chuckles, “I’m glad too.”
The city was more decorated than the last time you were here, even though last time you had Dottore knock out all of the citizens so you could confront the imposter. You had a feeling the Nahida might’ve predicted that you were going to show up today, you don’t expect anything less from the God of Wisdom.
As Nahida leads you to the entrance of the Akademiya, you notice two men bickering, or rather one of them getting riled up while the other responds calmly. Once the calmer one notices your presence he turns his attention to you as the other grows more annoyed at his actions.
“Seriously? Now you’re ignoring me?”
The other nudges the man harshly cussing him to stumble a bit but then he quickly takes notice of your presence as well.
“Your Grace, it’s an honor to meet you.”
You soon learn that the calmer one was named Alhaitham, and that the more expressive one was Kaveh. You also learned that the two of them were roommates, although knowing that information was unintentional since Kaveh kept rambling nervously as he tried to apologize for his behavior that you no doubt witnessed.
However the next three you met really solidified that Sumeru had some interesting people that really changed your perspective of how the nation once was. Nahida bad introduced you to the General Mahamatra who was talking to a young girl named Collei and her master Tighnari.
Just like everyone else they were extremely respectful as they introduced themselves to you and welcomed you to their city. Cyno also offered to show you around the desert if you ever desired to go. Collei and Tighnari expressed the same to you about the forest. However after pleasantries were over, Cyno asked you a question that made everyone around you facepalm.
“Your Grace, have you ever played Genius Invokation TCG?”
Tighnari sighs loudly, “are you seriously asking Their Grace about this?”
Collei also sighs as she mutters multiple apologies under her breath.
“I-I’m sorry?” You tilt your head, “Genius Invokation TCG?”
Cyno ignores his friends telling him to be quiet as he begins to explain the premise of the game to you, explaining how people around Teyvat have their own cards within the game and that even you have your own card in the game. (However he doesn’t mention how many cards of you he owns)
“If you ever wish to learn to play, I will teach you. Then we can duel.” His voice was monotonous but his body language gave off just how excited he was about teaching you about this game.
As Nahida leads you away from the trio you could hear Tighnari ask Cyno why he would ask you a question like that. Collei was only happy that he didn’t make any puns in your presence.
Later that night Nahida leaves you alone in a bedroom she had designed specifically for you but you doubt that you were going to get any sleep that night.
A few moments after Nahida left there was a knock at your door, at first you figured it was the God of Wisdom who might’ve forgotten to say something but once you opened the door you were greeted by a new face.
He had purple hair and wore a large hat, if he wasn’t looking directly at you, his hat would’ve obscured his face.
“The Creator of Teyvat.” He drawls out smirking. “I’ve been waiting to speak to you.”
He lets himself into your room as you furrow your brows closing the door turning to face him.
“I want to hate you, you know. I want to hate you because of how much she loved you.” He speaks softly. “All this time I’ve forced myself to hate you but now that I’m right in front of you?” He lets out a laugh, you weren’t even sure if he was talking to you.
“I thought that joining the Fatui would’ve made me hate you but those idiots are just as loyal to you as everyone else.”
So he was previously in the Fatui? That’s odd, no one ever mentioned him.
“What’s your name?” Your words snaps him out of his trance as he looks back at you.
He tells you that he has no name but if you must call him by something you can call him what the Traveler picked.
He calls out your name, your true name. “You’re supposed to be all knowing. What am I supposed to do?”
You let out a breath, as he looks at you expectantly a glimmer hopefulness in his eyes.
The Wanderer holds his breath as he waits for you to respond, after all of the evil deeds he’s done Lumine and Nahida says that he can change but he has no idea where to go about that. All his life his wanted to be of use to someone and every single time he was thrown to the side and betrayed. He wants to know your answer, no he needs it. Ever since he joined the Fatui and learned that the only being he wanted to talk to was a fake, he knew that he would wait. He will wait for you.
“I cannot tell you what to do with your life,” you begin, “following your heart is what everyone does and eventually you find something that feels right.”
He wants to roll his eyes and retort but you quickly interrupt him.
“Even though you do not have a heart like other humans, you left the Fatui and are now repenting for the sins you committed. Doesn’t that feel good?”
He crosses his arms, “what’s that got to do with anything?”
“What I’m trying to say is you should do what feels right. You don’t have a heart but you feel hurt and angry when betrayed so surely you must feel good when you do certain things.”
“And what if I don’t know what that is…?” He says breath barely above a whisper.
“Well you have friends right? They are there to help you, and I am also willing to help you.”
His eyes widen as he turns away from you, “so that’s the way you think? I’m surprised that you can be so optimistic after everything you’ve been through Your Grace.”
For once he didn’t refer to you by your name.
“I’ll let you get some sleep, I will see you tomorrow with Buer.”
He walks past you opening the door, giving you one last glance the door clicks shut behind him. You let out a breath crashing onto your mattress, you doubt that sleep would take you tonight.
The Wanderer on the other hand, was thinking of anyway he could prove himself useful to you then maybe he could stay by your side instead.
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SNEZHNAYA
The Tsaritsa never attended any celebrations that the Harbingers threw when they managed to obtain a Gnosis, but since this celebration was for you, she’d be a fool to not make an appearance.
The Fatui had an abundance of money, and once it was revealed you were on your way to Snezhnaya, they had quickly prepared everything for you. The Zapolyarny Palace was decorated in the finest decorations money could buy. Clothing suited for warm weather was designed with you in mind, and chefs prepared the most exquisite dishes in Snezhnaya for you to enjoy.
As the Harbingers were in the middle of preparations for the grand banquet. Spirits ran high and good will was abundant. All of them felt triumphant. The Creator was due to arrive soon , and they were proud to welcome them back to Snezhnaya. The air was only ever this lively after a successful mission in one of the other nations. They ordered their subordinates to set up the hall so that it was polished and pristine, fit their God.
The Damselette, who was sitting at a decorated table with her head down she called, “It is a shame that the Fair Lady couldn’t join us for such an momentous occasion.”
“La Signora’s zealot ambition caused her downfall. She overestimated her own strength and that got her killed in the end.” Pulcinella states.
“Her methods tarnished her honor, she doesn’t have the right to meet Their Grace.” Capitano chimes in.
Arlecchino was always quick to lose her temper, her voice was filled with venom as she glares at her comrades, “Rosalyne died in a foreign land for our cause, she has more right to meet Their Grace unlike you businessmen.”
Pantalone smiles curtly at her, “if you keep acting like that, Their Grace will be able to witness your true self and not the facade that you put on.”
Arlecchino opens her mouth to snap at the Regrator but is cut off by Childe, who stood nearby. “You all can’t help but fight even on the day the Creator is coming?”
It grows silent as they all return to what they were doing, the youngest Harbinger was right. To argue on the day you would be arriving was ludicrous, even more so to bicker once you arrive. The Tsaritsa herself would kill them for doing that.
It wasn’t much longer until you entered the Zapolyarny palace with the Tsaritsa and Pierro at your side. You were wearing the coat that was gifted to you when you first came here which caused Pantalone to smile smugly.
The Harbingers stare at you for a moment, last time you were here they were all still searching the other nations for any presence of you. When they joined you on the boat to confront the imposter, Childe hogged all your attention but now they had the opportunity to talk to you themselves.
But just like last time, Childe was the first to approach you, eyes brighter than ever. “Your Grace, You’ve arrived! How was the trip?”
You smile at the ginger, it was alway hard to see the Fatui as ruthless beings when Childe approaches and talks to you like this. “It was… calm. Just like last time.”
You cross your arms, even with all of the fireplaces around it was still very cold within the palace.
“Oh, are you cold Your Grace?” A voice says sweetly, “I have other coats suited for the cold if you’d prefer those instead.” The Regrator is the next to approach a small smile on his lips as he adjusts his glasses.
You open your mouth to accept his offer when another voice speaks up.
“If none of his coats are to your liking I would be more than happy to escort you to the City and buy you whatever coat you’d like.” Arlecchino says gracefully, although her glare at the two near you contradicted the sweetness in her voice.
“Or I can give you my coat, Your Grace.” Everyone turns to glare at Dottore for his bold suggestion.
You chuckle awkwardly feeling the tension in the room build up, you knew that no matter what choice you made, the others would be angry. (not at you ofc but at each other)
“Thank you for your generosity, but I think I’d rather just go to my room for a while, if that’s alright.”
“Of course that’s alright Your Grace! Would it be alright if I escort you to your room?” Sandrone pipes up still sitting on her Automaton.
Now all eyes are on her and you sigh softly, all you want is to quell the subtle fighting between them but no matter what you say one of them will jump at the opportunity to spend some alone time with you.
A cold hand touches your shoulder and the Tsaritsa finally speaks up. “I’ll take you to your room your Grace, you must be tired.”
You smile at her as she moves her hand onto your lower back, “We have prepared a banquet for you later tonight, I will have one of the Harbingers bring you some clothes if you wish to change.”
The Harbingers all share glances indicating that it was going to be them to bring you the clothes. The Archon leads you down the hall toward your room.
Once they were alone, Pierro let’s out a sigh, “these childish theatrics must cease. Their Grace will be spending the next few days here and they don’t need to see you all fighting all the time. Have some decorum.
The Harbingers roll their eyes dispersing back to their own room, all of them thinking of ways they could steal your attention tonight.
It’s going to be a long night Your Grace.
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NOWHERE…? (ABYSS)
You told Lumine that you wanted to reconnect with Teyvat before you showed your face in any nation. The girl seemed surprised at first but understood, her gaze lingered on you as you left her campsite. However, you weren’t alone for long. Once you were out of the Travelers sight, you had felt a strong presence behind you. Last time you didn’t notice it, but this time it was as clear as day, as if they were making no effort to conceal it at all.
“Your Grace.” Just as you expected, it was Aether.
You stop walking turning to gaze at him, “how come you always appear when I’m alone?”
Now that you could see his face more clearly, he did look exactly like Lumine, they both had signature golden hair and eyes. While it seemed that both of them had a friendly nature, he was definitely hiding something beneath the surface.
“Because I don’t want no one to ruin the time I have talking to you.” He says nonchalantly.
“Even your sister?”
Aether’s eyes widened at your response but he quickly fixes his expression as he approached you, “so, she told you.”
“I told her I’d help her find you but that’s not all I know. I’ve heard lots of things about the Abyss, none of them good.”
“Your Grace anything anyone has told you is complete slander, the only goal I have in mind is rebuilding Khaenri’ah back to it’s former glory!”
“So the Abyss doesn’t hate humanity?”
He lets out a defeated sigh, confirming the truth behind your question without even saying anything. Aether reaches out grasping your hand with both of his gloved ones, “I would never do anything to disgrace your world… I promise.”
You had to give him the benefit of the doubt, it’s not like he lied to you up till this point, so why would he lie now? “What did you want to talk about?”
“The first step was defeating the counterfeit that held the throne, but this world still hasn’t been healed completely. Corruption still lurks in every corner.”
A large purple portal opens behind the Prince and a faceless being walks out getting down on one knee bringing a clawed hand to his chest.
“Your Grace…. Your Majesty…” it’s voice croaks.
“Come to the Abyss, Your Grace.” He pleads, “no interruptions this time. Come with me and I will show you everything…”
He stares expectantly at your face as you look at the creature and portal behind him. So this was the Abyss, Yelan had told you all about the danger it possessed and now it was right in front of you. A group that hates humanity, even Aether couldn’t deny that fact. The impropriety vexed you, how could a place exist that devalued the life you had created. You cared for this world immensely, and built it for humanity, but for some reason it felt as if the Abyss was calling out to you.
The void of the portal looks endless. Your eyes focus to catch a glimpse of something more, darker and obscure. The weight of the Princes hands were heavier now... more adamant. Your search was cut short when he gripped your hands, pulling you out of the trance. His gaze never wavered as you opened your pursed lips to respond to his lingering question.
“I’ll go with you.”
He looks satisfied with your answer as he pulls you forward leading you towards the portal.
There was no turning back now, once you walk through this with, you will be within the Abyss. You couldn’t imagine what would be waiting for you once you stepped through, all you had was the word of an outlier who guaranteed your safety.
Aether who seemed to notice your hesitancy laces his fingers with yours giving you a smile. “Don’t worry, I won’t let go.”
You let out a breath closing your eyes tightly as the two of you walk through the portal.
-
-
-
It wasn’t painful. Not that you expected it to be.
You open your eyes and the Prince is staring at you.
“We have arrived, Your Grace.”
The Abyss lurked in the darkest part of Teyvat so it was no surprise that once you took in your surroundings you noticed you were at some unknown place in the Chasm. It wasn’t just the two of you either, there were many creatures just like the one who was bowing to the two of you before. Some of them looked more human-like while others truly resembled monsters. None of them dared to speak though, you could only wonder what the Prince had threatened said to them if you chose to come with him.
“Your Grace I’m so happy you’ve decided to come with me.” Aether breathes out still holding your hand, not like he had any intention of letting go. “Your comfort means everything to me, and I know it looks unsettling right now but I can assure that your comfort has been taken into account.”
He leads you down a path so that the two of you were alone once more.
It was in a secluded spot that was much darker than the area you appeared in, the only thing giving light was the multiple torches stuck into the wall.
“Your Grace, what I’m about to tell you is going to be hard to hear…”
You let out a breath, would it be as hard to hear when you found out Celestia had betrayed you? The look on his face you could tell that he didn’t want to place this burden on you but it had to be done.
“Are you aware of what happened to Khaenri’ah?” He asks.
During your time in Celestia, you learned everything, all catastrophic events that happened on Teyvat was their doing. The Archon War and the destruction of Khaenri’ah were just the tip of the iceberg.
You nod, “Celestia told me it was their doing.”
“But did they tell you how?”
You shake your head, “how they did it? I don’t understand.”
“Celestia might’ve had a hand in getting rid of the nation, but it wasn’t the one who did it.”
You tilt your head curiously at the blonde, “who did it then?”
He sighs holding your hand a bit tighter to ease you into the bomb he was about to drop on you.
“You weren’t here and Celestia wasn’t the only one who missed you. So the Archons and Celestia concocted a plan to bring you back, and since Khaenri’ah was more quiet about their worship outsiders believed they weren’t devoted to you.”
You felt your heart sink as a bitter taste enters your mouth, “are you saying that the Archons had a hand in this as well?”
Aether continues, “the people of Khaenri’ah were deemed sinners, especially pure blooded ones. People believed it was their sins that made you not want to return, so under Celestia, the Archons attack Khaenri’ah destroying almost everything and killing everyone.”
You felt sick, you didn’t want to hear this, this ache in your chest was unbearable. Were you betrayed again? Something you poured your whole heart into stabbed you in the back for their own selfish desires? This was too much to bear.
You pull your hand out of his stumbling away to sit on a nearby rock, Aether followed kneeling next to you placing a hand on your back.
“I know this is hard for you,” he rubs your back frowning, “should I continue?”
You nod not trusting your voice to answer him, a lump in your throat was forming and it felt that if you were to try and speak, you would burst into tears.
“The remaining survivors of the attack turned into monsters… the monsters you see roaming around Teyvat are what remains of the nation. However for the pure blooded Khaenrians, they were cursed with immortality. Now they roam Teyvat forever…”
You bring your hands up running them through the roots of your hair, Aether had to be lying, there is no way something that terrible would happen without your knowledge. How could you be so ignorant to the suffering of your own people?
Aether keeps rubbing your back, “the plan didn’t work, you never returned so Celestia went for more drastic measures and made an Imposter to trick the Archons into thinking it worked, but at the same time, it was their last ditch effort to get you to return.”
You finally manage to speak, the words came out soft and raspy but still clear enough for him to understand.
“How do you know all this?”
The Prince says nothing, maybe he was ignoring you or maybe he was too concerned about your comfort to respond.
Khaenri’ah wasn’t just forced to watch their home burn by the hands of the Archons and Celestia but they were forced to stay and watch as their home became lost to history. You didn’t want to believe it, the monsters were once people and others were cursed with immortality it felt like something out of a fantasy novel.
But… those eyes…
You couldn’t help but recall your time in Snezhnaya. Pierro… his eyes. You knew they seemed familiar but it didn’t click to you then.
Now it was painfully clear.
He was from Khaenri’ah and he was one of the cursed ones. Why didn’t he tell you? Was it because you were focused on the Imposter? Did he not want to burden you with more problems?
You could remember the way his eyes had lingered on the flower you had. He must’ve recognized it.
You reach into your pocket pulling the flower out, it didn’t look as beautiful as it did when Aether first gave it to you, it was starting to wilt.
“You kept it.” You hear the Prince murmur next to you.
You turn to face him and he immediately pulls his hand off you. “Your Grace I know there is a way we can bring Khaenri’ah back. I’ve even seen these monsters gain back their consciousness, the only missing piece is you.”
Suddenly you bring your hand up to his cheek causing him to stiffen for a moment before leaning into your touch his face turning pink.
Your touch was better than he could ever describe, it was warm and comforting he hadn’t felt this warm since his days in the forgotten nation or maybe even when he still traveled with his sister. He wanted to keep this feeling forever and never let it go.
“Aether…” you breathe out. “It feels as if you’re the only one I can trust.”
He smiles, hearing you say his name was exhilarating.
“You can always trust me Your Grace. I will never deceive you.”
The hand that you had on his cheek is now trapped by his own, he didn’t want you to pull away. Not yet.
“I will help you, Khaenri’ah will be restored and Celestia will pay for it’s sins.”
His smile turns into a full blown grin, “Your Grace I am honored that I am able to work with you.”
-
-
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Note: I am so sorry for the looonnnngggg wait for this part but I am super happy how the ending came out. Now I will focus on the asks in my inbox so if you were on of the lovely anons that left a request, trust me, I didn’t forget about you! Thank you to everyone who took the time to read this I luv you!
Taglist: @esthelily @the-dumber-scaramouche @grimreapersscythe @seawater-aurelia-writing @probablynoposts @genshin-impacts-me @itsredactedlove @chidouna @thedevioussmirk @hoo-hoo @chaoticfivesworld @akemiixx01 @lunarapple @nowords-onlybreathing @fangirlinindia @veyu002 @blackcoffex @kaveh-is-pretty @ariasdream @averycuriousperson @bloopthebat @chuuya-brainrot @crazydreamcat @sparklyphantom @multistanbee @bluebelony @mokakoto @mega-trash-cringe CLOSED
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devilsrecreation · 6 days
Text
TLG Human AU shenanigans
Tamka: Kiburi!
Nduli: Kiburi!
Both: KiburiKiburiKiburiKiburiKiburiKiburiKiburiKiburiKibu-
Kiburi: What?!
Nduli: Sorry Kiburi, we just wanna let you know something!
Kiburi: Yeah? And what’s that?
Nduli: We love you, Kiburi :)
Kiburi: ….And?
Tamka: And we want a Nokia N-Gage
Kiburi: No you don’t! It went defunct it 2006!
Nduli: Actually, it was in 2007
Kiburi: You know the year it went defunct! Why do you want it?!
Tamka: Cuz it looks cool!
Kiburi: You said that about the OUYA Ya bought last week
Tamka: The OUYA doesn’t have any games
Kiburi: I told you that before we bought it, neither will this!
Nduli: But Kiburi, it’s so cooooooool!
Kiburi: I don’t even think you can play games on that thing! It was a phone service!
Tamka: But Ucheshi said this stuff was awesome!
Kiburi: ……….Boys, stay here
Nduli: Okay, Kiburi.
*Lake Matope or whatever the human equivalent is*
Kiburi: Have you been telling them to buy outdated electronics?
Ucheshi: Yes.
Kiburi: WHY?!
Ucheshi: Because you hurt my boyfriend, fuck you, dude.
Kiburi: Ucheshi, I swear to God-
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ghouljams · 28 days
Note
https://x.com/pogildov/status/1773063808673591379?s=46 hear me out… Jamie from Outlander is Price coded…
Price is so physical with the way he interacts with you, constantly with a hand on you or pulling you out of the way. It's funny how quickly your brain seems to shut off when you're with him. He directs you as he needs and you're mostly just along for the ride. So of course when you're sitting on his lap, holding his face and kissing him stupid, he has no qualms with moving you. His hands on your back turning you and easing you down onto your back, giving himself the space to crawl over you, direct your kiss and tip your head. Everything is by his command, he doesn't even have to say it. He can simply move you, a flew of his biceps and a breath, and you're where he wants you.
He laughs when you point it out too. "What's the point of having muscle if I don't use it," He tells you, tugging you closer. Price never seems to have you close enough, always pulls you against his side, against his chest, squeezes you tight when you're laying on him. He'd get you under his skin if he could, crack open his rips and sew you inside, but he'd miss seeing your pretty face. Besides, it's cute the way you squirm and let out a soft breath when he squeezes you too tight. He just wants to have you nearby, somewhere he can always reach out and take your hand. Just so that when he isn't around he can clench his fist and imagine he feels even a fraction of your warmth.
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tsuyomegyaru · 13 days
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This is sagau/ au cult content. There are no warnings today! Also, this sketch is made by me! So if you want to use it, please credit 💛 also not edit because im lazy :3
What a strange feeling
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While the traveler and paimon were exploring a deep cave they stepped into a tall sculpture, the sculpture seems old, parts are missing while the same time has cracks almost everywhere, the figure seems holding something to the air...
Aether decides to take a closer look, with a clearer vision he notices how the part where the heart sits its just an empty hole, while the hand of the sculpture holds the heart while crying, a thread of golden blood connected to the heart and falling down the arm... it was obviously the creator…
Aether was taking back, usually when it come to portraits of the creator, teyvat always make sure to capture the beauty of the creator...  This sculpture conveys pity, even if its expression is neutral.
“Paimon never saw this sculpture before! Paimon wonders why is hiding here...” paimon says while also looking closely, but then paimon notice that papers where everywhere, while some were soaked with water others where intact... there’s was one who was wrapped carefully with a ribbon, it seems that someone left it on purpose.
Paimon grabs the folded paper and give it to the traveler “Here!” Paimon says, the traveler unfolds the paper, it reads.
“While taking my heart out, my only thought is to maybe one day see once again the light of my own people and myself, while I know my final days here on my planet are getting closer, I can’t stop feel pity for my people... knowing they will think I die... the truth is I will never perish... although... my memories will fade away.. perhaps that’s my destiny after all... if I ever remember who I was once before, it will be in another reality far away from teyvat... an outlander...”
There was more to read but the letters faded away... Aether and paimon were shocked, was the creator who wrote this? If not, then who thought it was a good idea? And in the case that it was the creator then, why?
“It’s weird...” paimon says, “No one knows why the creator disappeared... although... it is said that the creator was always with someone beside them, but one day they requested to be alone while walking on the lands of teyvat, they were nowhere to be seen...”  paimon was confused but then Aether says.
“Then... what really happened? They knew all along they would be gone, but why or by who?.. an outlander? What does this mean...” Aether was questioning everything at this point, perhaps the creator knew that he would wake up after 500 years? But when did the creator write this? …it was before his sister was here or after?
What a strange feeling..
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sgiandubh · 8 days
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Speed Bonnie Boat
The irony has not escaped me, that Baby and I finally made it back home on the 278th anniversary of the Battle of Culloden. Of course, nothing of this was planned - how could we? it's way above our heads, literally -, but didn't we laugh, Baby and me and Shipper Mom, finally content to have all the menagerie in one place, now cracking at its seams with unpacked boxes, tchotchkes, and irrelevant shite (why did I even pack this?).
You know this land is your land, when you finally start to see this, through the windshield: the glorious canola fields of the Deep South, near the Danube - my grandma's feisty, quick-witted and generous people's territory.
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Uncharacteristically, I realized I came to Athens on a very unlikely Dubliner autumn and went back home on a very unlikely early summer April. Helps with the overall surreal impression:
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All the roads leading to Rome, we can almost say "Hello, the house" in this pic. Smack dab downtown, where everything happens:
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And then, the Jihad, between Lola the corgi and Baby the 'beige' (Greek passport says so) lab. This old lady is not really thrilled:
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And for much of the rest of the tired, yawny human evening, the state of play was protracted war and a difficult Yalta negotiation of sorts:
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Pasha ran in the shadows of the kitchen corridor. Nothing to report yet and unable to document properly: at night, all cats are black, says the Chinese proverb.
I have roughly two months to make this happen. For now, they can work with staying together in the same room and I think the one who's going to offer a truce is the Greek. With all this, I forgot to pour myself that Laphroaig. #Silly
'Carried the lad who's born to be king/Over the sea to Skye...'
PS: To all of you who offered their warmth and thoughts and even prayers, let it be known you are deeply loved by all of us. This land is also yours, my house is your house. No questions asked. We're good people. You will always find a spot for the outlander at a Romanian table and we like them long and boisterous. Mark me.
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bobaboob · 10 months
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thinking about a ill-meaning outlander coming to mondstadt looking for cracks in diluc's proverbial armor
hearing of a crafty guy who works in the shadows and is publicly on bad terms with diluc
sidling up to the guy at the cat's tail and attempting to ply the calvary captain for information, letting slip a calculated jab about 'the old clan having a little too much power around here' after a few drinks and kaeya's eye flickering dangerously
the guy trying to build a rapport with kaeya, thinking they're on the same page about the ragnvindrs, maybe even alluding to a group backing him or a plan and suddenly the beer glass in his hand is frozen to his palm...
feeling the sting of ice on his fingers and ears, hearing his pulse drop in pace as hypothermia sets in silently, feeling a hand on his shoulder that digs into him and forces him out of his seat, stumbling towards the alley, and the patrons in front of them parting like curtains because captain kaeya's got that look in his eye again and God forbid they get in the way of justice
kaeya making damn sure not a word of it leaves that room and pretending not to notice the free drink diluc points his way the next time he's at the bar
just like diluc pretends not to care about the note in beautiful handwriting stuck to the forehead of the unconscious, frostbitten guy he finds tied to the angel's share balcony that night
diluc can pretend all he wants that he's in this alone, that only he can watch his own back now, but it gets harder lying to himself on nights like those.
i'm just such a sucker for kaeya purposefully crafting his reputation, reeling in people who mean to do his brother harm, just so he can carry out his version of justice on them when they show their hand,,
protecting the one who protects mond in darkness..... OW
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