#over the years i've seen some pretty terrible takes on this subject

[mashedcontroller]

I'm feeling spicy, time to list everything I think BH outclassed 03 on. And by that, prepare yourself for the most backhanded, hyper specific or wildly vague, and strings-attached compliments you've heard in your fucking life. But actually, the reason I'm doing this is because I think 03 is better than BH in every way that matters. The majority of common points people give BH over 03 typically come down to attempts to make subjective taste sound objective since a lot of shit is really just a difference in priorities and/or genre rather than an objective flaw in the other show.

And, to be clear, 03 is the better show. It has a really strong thematic core and just says a lot of shit that I rarely see other stuff have the gall to say. 03 tackles heavy topics and tackles them well. It left me with a lot to think about, even years after my first viewing. It's a political piece of art that remains relevant 20 years after the fact. On some levels, it was designed to do this. 03 is a character drama that deconstructs a lot of the elements that make up the shonen genre, and it also very clearly had something to say. 03 has very few weak points and has some of the strongest moments I've seen from any piece of media that I've interacted with. I think a lot of its bad reputation comes from people failing to engage with the show on its own terms. I can only speculate on what's going through other people's heads, but expecting it to act as supplementary material for BH is a fundamentally wrong assumption to make about the show. These two shows are trying to accomplish very different things, so judging 03 on its ability to be BH is a boldfaced stupid lens to view the show through.

BH, however, is still a well-made show. Like, I'm more than happy to shit on it, but BH is by no means a bad anime. It's just not as ambitious as people claim it to be. And if it really is one of the best things Shonun has to offer, then that says pretty mediocre things about the genre imo. It's far from a bad show. I think it accomplishes the role of "fun action series" really well, but it also has gaping flaws the moment you decide to engage with the work critically. That's not necessarily an issue that I'll take with its fanbase. The show's got a lot of elements that make it good for cultivating one. Stuff like large casts, likeable characters, emphasizing its worldbuilding, prioritizing action over character work, etc. are all traits that are great for cultivating fandom, and they're all traits that BH has that 03 revokes. But yeah, BH does fall apart once you look at it critically. My biggest issues with it come down to the fact that the show baits you into thinking that it's deeper than it actually is. So, I'll take the bait and look for the deeper stuff and then find nothing, which is where my negative perception of the show comes from, which isn't helped by how common it is for people to take the bait without really looking.

So, yeah, in short, I have a mountain of good things to say about 03. It's an incredible piece of art with so much shit to look into. In my opinion, you're doing the show a disservice to watch it and not put serious analytical thought into what you're consuming. Meanwhile I have a lot of mixed opinions about BH. It's a great show to watch, it's just a terrible show to consume critically. This isn't even me calling people who prefer BH dumb or anything. The show's are just so fundamentally different from one-another that your preference truly does just come down to a mix of personal tastes and how you prefer to interact with media, especially if you're a more casual viewer of either/both shows. The part that makes me angry is how disrespected 03 is in the majority of FMA circles.

The animation and sound design of Roy's snap is really fucking good in BH.

While 03 may have an overall better art direction and visuals than BH, I do really like how juicy the BH animators and sound designers made Roy's fire attack. The fire itself is just so fucking juicy and satisfying. The BH team did a really good job at making that attack iconic. There's no "but actually" here. The BH team just fucking nailed this one aspect.

In general, BH has better special effects than 03. This is absolutely a difference in available technology at the time each show was animated. And while I do have respect for special effects animation; it's often the difference between animations looking really stiff vs getting across their intended atmospheres, especially in the realm of video games. Using a human body as an analogy, the special effects are more like the hair than the skin, fat, muscle, nerves, or bones. Both important but somewhat expendable.

BH's alchemy is much more logically consistent than 03's.

So, there are a lot of reasons for this difference. The two main ones are the BH and 03 can barely if even be considered the same genre of anime. BH is a fun fights-heavy action series with some intrigue plot, while 03 is a really critical deconstruction the genre BH embraces that's more of a character drama with a heavily knit thematic core than anything else.

And their commitments to their genres translate to each show's relationship with alchemy. In 03, Alchemy's rules are much more metaphoric than literal. Equivalent Exchange is the shit because it's representative of the philosophy that Edward clings to; that life is fundamentally fair, that there is some universal justification for everything that happens. And 03 is about tearing that belief into itty bitty pieces. In fact, we learn that Equivalent Exchange isn't even true. Everything about Alchemy in 03 is bound by the magic's metaphorical meaning. Thus, when it comes to fights, characters really just need to be able to loosely justify how their alchemy functions for the audience to go "oh ok." And, in 03, alchemy is fundamentally powered by taking the life force of something and using that energy to do something else. So, you get stuff like the ability to extract alchemical energy from plants in order to amplify your alchemy much later, Edward being able to turn his automail into a gun, Dante's alchemic dragon thing, Scar's arm being the Philosopher's Stone, etc. The point is that you're sort of meant to accept that "yeah thats a thing that can happen." In other words, the fights exist purely for spectacle and the logic behind them is low priority at best. So, the way 03 frames it's combat is that it has to establish rules that exist within their own space and work with those rules. So, it can't circumvent stuff like "Roy can't use his gloves if they're wet" because there's no reason to and giving a talk about how H2O has Oxygen in it would have been horribly distracting in the one scene where Roy does get fucking soaked. Especially since him being crafty in a fight is sold by him just using Havoc's matches + Armstrongs rocks to make frag bombs. Tldr, the way 03 is structured allows if not flat out encourages characters to bullshit during fights. I think the fast and loose usage of alchemy's principles in the earlier parts of the show also make the later parts of the show, where those principals turn out to be false, feel more believable.

Meanwhile, BH's alchemy is operating on a much more literal framework, so the writing has more room and necessity for creative and engaging combat sequences. In a way, the fights in BH are puzzles and alchemy is the tools the characters are given to solve those puzzles, so the fights become engaging because you want to see how the characters solve the puzzles. It's very gamey. That said, I do have to say that I dislike how the homunculi are fit into this system. Their lose condition is having their stones exhausted, which just translates into "they have more HP." Which is very bullshit. The homunculi in BH die when the story tells them to, at least, that's how their lose condition makes it feel.

Both shows heavily rely on the usage of gimmicks to make their fights interesting. For example, Roy uses exclusively fire, which he creates by snapping. Like, I really like how Roy's combat gimmick gets explored in this fight specifically.

I like how Ed ducks into a crowd in an attempt to dissuade him, and Roy's like "you think I care about collateral damage lmao." I like how Ed thinks he won the fight by slicing Roy's glove, but then Roy just ruins his day by revealing that he has two hands and therefore another glove. I really like how Roy's not taking this very seriously and Ed only wins because of Roy getting a flashback. This fight is just an excellent display of character for both of them and I love it.

Anyways, there are a lot of other character gimmicks. Honestly, 03 is so much better with its character gimmicks during fights than BH is. Like, I could list a ton of cool moments where the character gimmicks get played with. And part of how it does this is that every character plays by their own rules. No character will ever break their own rules, but the universal rules governing what is and isn't acceptable for a fight isn't very consistent. This does fit into 03s themes about how there is no universal truth. But yeah, that's how 03 structures its fights and why characters will sometimes just blatantly ignore the laws of alchemy.

Anyways, in BH, the rules are much less person-by-person and are more like "Alchemists can do XYZ," "Homunculi can do ABC," "Alkahestrists can do UWV," "Chimeras can do RST," etc. So, everyone has similar rules that they have to play by. Which also makes it so much more jarring when someone blatantly breaks those rules. Like, when Edward gets impaled and uses alchemy to not die, it's super jarring because that breaks the laws of human frailty and it doesn't really make sense. It's even worse when Edward fucks with Pride's Stone. Compare that to some of the blatant bullshitting in 03, like where Edward uses concrete to turn his broken automail into a gun. He shouldn't be able to decide when the shots are fired and where's the ammo coming from? But part of the reason it isn't jarring is because him turning his automail into a gun isn't a big deal or even particularly important to the scene he does that in. Or take bullshitting that is more relevant, like Alphonse performing a successful human transmutation. At this point, it's been clearly established that Alchemy's laws aren't true. So, Alphonse breaking them doesn't break audience suspense. Instead, the fundamental logic behind it actually working is tied to the story's central themes.

But yeah, BH's alchemy is a bit more logically consistent than 03's, but there's a very good reason for 03's alchemy to have some logical inconsistencies, which results in BH being much worse at breaking its own rules than 03 is.

A lot of the characters are just easier to get behind and digest in BH.

The entire point of 03 is that these characters are nazis and morally grey as fuck. Meanwhile, the characters in BH are primarily meant to be fun characters that you could comfortably fantasize about being or being friends with. The characters in BH are much simpler than in 03 and the show tends to gloss over their war crimes. Even when it addresses them, there's a billion asterisks and variations of "they're still the good guys." Compared to 03, where everyone is just messy and fucked up.

For example, BH Roy is easier to root for than 03 Roy, but that's because BH Roy is a fundamentally different type of character than 03 Roy. BH Roy is firmly a protagonist while with 03 Roy, he's much more antagonistic and complex. He doesn't solidly fit into the categorization of protagonist or antagonist because he's a bit of both.

And to be clear, I'm not calling the characters in BH simplistic in a derogatory way. A major benefit to simplicity is that you know who to root for and don't have to do a ton of heavy thinking to enjoy the story. That said, I don't think this style of character is necessarily appropriate for a story where the majority of the protagonists committed racial genocide and serve in the military for a fascist dictatorship. BH's characterization would've been a lot better if the story wasn't also trying to cover ridiculously heavy topics.

I've been using Roy as my go-to example since he's the only character to be one of my favorites in both shows, but I think the character who benefits the most from this point is Izumi. In BH, she's iconic. She's a slapstick oriented character who's just a joy to have on screen. In 03, her character writing gives me a lot of mixed messages. She's still very slap stick, but it's just weird in 03 since a lot of similar stuff gets unpacked, but Izumi being outright physically abusive to the Elrics at times just isn't. She's also much softer in 03; most characters are. And I'm mostly just left confused on how to feel about her. She has some great scenes, especially with Wrath, but the character feels a bit disjointed. In BH, she really benefits from being a nonparticipant in Ishval. The writing doesn't have to worry about her being sympathetic in spite of her committing genocide, so she gets to be divorced from the massive fuck up that was that section of the story.

BH has a larger cast than 03. Also, a lot of BH exclusive characters are more likeable than the 03 exclusive characters.

There's a lot of things to unpack here.

So, first thing that's kinda an obvious point is that BH prioritizes making its characters easily likeable to the detriment of its larger themes, 03 makes its characters likeable in service of those themes. So, it's a lot easier to get behind BH Mustang than 03 Mustang because Mustang's warcrimes just aren't that important in BH while they're the most important part of the character in 03. A lot of a character's likeability in BH hinges on the audience's ability to simply ignore the Ishval subplot, which was already a poorly handled subplot. While in 03, their likeability is intentionally contrasted with their war crimes to make a point. That's the primary reason why the characters in BH are more likeable than in 03.

And this also extends to the casts that are either version exclusive or unrecognizable between the two. Kimbly is a perfect example. In BH, he's designed primarily as a fun and bombastic antagonist who blows shit up because it's fun. They also made him extremely fashionable. Meanwhile, in 03 he's genuinely fucked up and views the lives of people as little more than tools to use to further his own goals, which is made interesting by Kimbly not being a top dog (like most villains running with that mindset are). He's at the bottom of the food chain and yet he still thrives under that mindset. BH Kimbly is the more fun character, but that's because BH Kimbly and 03 Kimbly are fundamentally different types of antagonist.

A lot of this comes down to tone. 03 is a much more somber show than BH. Unlike BH, it takes the premise of "child soldier works for a fascist government that partook in genocide a few years back because he wants to fix a mistake that made him and his brother permanently disabled" as a sign that the story is meant to be dark and a little fucked up. Meanwhile, BH tends to gloss over the fucked up shit in favor of selling the power-fantasy aspect of the story. This just results in BH's characters being a lot more fun. The surface level shit is the only thing that really matters to them when looking at BH since the deeper shit is simply shit and not really worth calling attention to.

The cast sizes also exist to further both show's individual goals. BH being about action and badass people being badass benefits from a larger cast because you get to see more flavors of badassery. It lets fights cycle between different styles of combat, which helps keep things interesting. 03 is a character drama. This benefits from having a smaller cast because it allows the show to spend more time unpacking a handful of characters.

There are a lot more badass female characters in BH compared to 03

I'll give BH a "you did the bare minimum" award for being an action show with female characters who are not just eye candy. That doesn't make the show revolutionary. It just says bad things about the genre that this isn't considered the bare minimum. But yeah, in both shows, most of the female characters are subordinate to their male peers. Hawkeye is defined as Roy's henchman. Winry is defined as Ed's love interest/childhood friend, Izumi is defined as Ed's mentor. In some aspects, this is fine. Like, the main characters are Edward and Alphonse, they don't need to draw attention away from them in favor of their own bullshit. But how badass a character is doesn't exactly translate into whether they're feminist.

Like, again, the reason you see more badass female characters in BH than 03 is the same reason you see more badass characters in BH than 03; BH is an action show, 03 is a character drama with some amount of action on the side. They're both guilty of employing sexist tropes. BH tends mix those tropes with badassery, while 03 tends to mix those tropes with character nuance. Doesn't change the existence of the tropes. It's sort of just something that you gotta accept about either show. That doesn't mean that its female characters don't have good moments in either show. Just that they're working from a sexist baseline. Neither show is particularly feminist, but they're also far from the worst offenders out there.

There are a few characters where I prefer their BH incarnations over their 03 versions.

The reason someone might prefer one version's character over another is a bit more nuanced than just which character was written better. The vast majority of overlapping characters fulfill different narrative niches in each story. For example, comparing 03 Lust and BH Lust has always felt disingenuous to me because while it's true that 03 Lust is the more compelling character, a major reason for that fact is that BH Lust was never designed with being compelling in mind. A more apt comparison would be 03 Lust to BH Greed, as those two characters do share the same niche of being an antagonist that makes the audience question the nature of the homunculi and eventually splits off from them. I'd also say that BH Lust and 03 Greed fulfill similar narrative niches as being a minor antagonist that establishes exactly what the main villains are all about and who's death is used as a tool by the authors to reveal exactly what the protagonist slaying them is all about. That's why BH Lust's death and 03 Greed's Deaths are both pointed to as highlighting points in their respective series. They both execute on their niches quite well.

This also accounts for the primary reason why someone may like a character in one show but dislike them in another. BH Mustang fulfills the niche of a secondary protagonist. In 03, he fulfills the role of a pseudo-antagonist / morally ambiguous major character. I happen to really like both versions of Mustang, but it's for very different reasons. In BH, I just think he's funny and has a lot of good banter. That's more or less exactly what he's meant to accomplish there. You're supposed to go "haha funny" and/or "haha awesome" with this guy. BH Mustang falls apart when you critically analyze him because the Ishval plot was mishandled, but his surface level traits are so good that I can just be like "I saw nothing." Meanwhile, 03 Mustang is a character who you sort of have to engage with critically to get the most out of. He's a complicated character and his relationship with the audience isn't a static variable. And there's merit to both approaches of character writing. There's as much value to a character where it's not worth overanalyzing them as there is to a character who doesn't really come into their own until you pull out the tweezers.

So, in case anyone's curious, which characters do I prefer their BH incarnations to over their 03 incarnations? Well, I prefer Barry the Chopper and Izumi Curtis in BH vs their 03 counterparts. Like I said, there's a lot more nuance than "this character was written better in one anime than the other" when regarding personal preferences. So, the reason I prefer BH Izumi over 03 Izumi is that I thought BH Izumi was funny and cool while I just got a lot of mixed messages about 03 Izumi. So, in this case, I think BH Izumi fulfilled her narrative purpose really well, while I have much more mixed opinions on 03 Izumi. As for Barry, it's a similar case where I thought he was really funny in BH, while I think he fell short as a more serious antagonist in 03. In Izumi's case, the failings I have for her in 03 are that I don't think her treatment of the Elrics is put under the same scrutiny that every other character is given. Like, in BH, her being physically violent towards them is played off for comedy. It's the same case in 03, but it doesn't work as well in this context because 03 is the show that turned the short jokes into an important metaphor, so it's really weird that Izumi's slapstick wasn't given the same treatment. And I found that really off-putting. Meanwhile, my main issue with BH Izumi is that the stuff around her failed human transmutation was extremely underexplored, which doesn't stick out as much as the slapstick issue in 03 because Izumi is ultimately a minor character in BH while she takes the mantle of a more major character in 03. Though, personal bias is a huge factor in why I prefer BH Izumi over 03 Izumi, since her specific plot about being unable to bear children just happens to be so alien to my personal life, as someone who's both never had a failed pregnancy, has zero interest in bearing children, and would happily make a magic "goodbye pussy" circle. It's not that this type of conflict can't still be compelling to someone like me, but it's going to require more narrative work than a conflict that I can more closely relate to. Hence, why it's personal bias. Meanwhile, in the case of Barry the Chopper, my preference towards BH's version is a fair bit less subjectively biased. He just fits really awkwardly into the role 03 tries to assign him. The issue is that he jumps back and forth between trying to be fucked up and scary to being a comedic antagonist, which just undermines both aspects of him.

Like, the antagonist for this scene, should end up looking completely alien to the version of Barry the Chopper seen in BH, but that version of Barry is played relatively similar to BH Barry in Lab 5, resulting in the 03 Barry being inconsistent.

And for every character where I prefer their BH version, there are plenty more characters where I prefer their 03 versions. And a lot of that will come down to personal preference.

Armstrong's a great example of a character who on a surface level isn't that far off between 03 and BH, but he just works so much better in 03 than in BH because of the different character niches he fulfills in both shows. In 03, he's a minor character, while in BH, he's a major character. So, in 03, he's not particularly developed. He's mainly a funny guy who has a few shots where he's sad over Ishbal, and then he ends up supporting Mustang in overthrowing the government, which he mostly does in a comedic fashion. That's a pretty apt description for both his 03 and BH incarnations, but I only take issue with his performance in BH. The reason for this is that he's a more important character in BH, so I expect the show to disclose more information about him, which doesn't happen. Like, in BH, I want to know more about how his refusal to fight in Ishval affected him, his relationships, his status, etc. But BH only addresses that through off-handed scenes where Olivier calls him a pussy, which don't really go anywhere. Meanwhile, in 03, first of all, Armstrong did kill people in Ishbal, so the massive question of "how did his time in Ishbal affect him" can be supplemented by other characters confronting similar questions. Thus, the minor amounts of information we are given about Armstrong alongside information we see from other characters who were soldiers in Ishbal like Marcoh and Mustang are more than enough to get across the general picture. Secondly, we actually do get hints at how Armstrong's goofier attitude and kinder disposition impact his career. Mainly during the raid in Dublith where Envy disguised as Bradly says "this is why you never get a promotion." As a minor character in 03, he's allowed to have the nuances of his character be heavily carried by implication. But I can't really give a major character like BH Armstrong that same affordance, especially when those hints are barely given. It doesn't help that Armstrong's backstory in BH very heavily leaned into the story's insistence that the soldiers didn't mean it when they slaughtered Ishval.

Edward is more of a Badass in BH than 03

Ngl, I'm cheating a little with this point because it's like "I agree with this point but I also couldn't give less of a shit about it." Which, that response is, at least, 85% personal preference coming into the equation. I'm not going to say that badass characters never resonate with me, but it's really uncommon because the badass character has to be someone I personally can somewhat relate to, which is a rare flavor of character in popular media. My own experiences with the two characters are that I find BH Edward to be kinda boring as a character while 03 Edward is the most interesting character in the show (as he should be given everything I said about what 03 is trying to accomplish). But it's a lot of the same stuff my general thesis has been; BH Ed is more badass than 03 Ed because BH Ed was written to be a badass while 03 Ed was written to be a compelling character.

The actual reason I wanted to bring up this point is because it's a common enough point I've seen people make when comparing the two shows and I find this point rather bothersome. Maybe that's because I take issue with consistently seeing a rather mediocre character being placed on a pedestal over one of the best protagonists I've ever seen. But it's also more the explanations that bug me than anything. Like, I cannot take anyone seriously who uses calling a character "whiny" as a critique. Maybe it's because you're looking for an action hero who can shrug off shit that would normally be traumatizing, in which case, you're in the wrong genre. Maybe you take some issue with characters being emotional in a vulnerable sort of way. 03 features a lot of characters displaying emotions in a dysfunctional sort of way. Characters are allowed to hurt in a way that doesn't fuel anything other than more hurt. Characters will repress their feelings and that will bite them in the ass. Characters are allowed to be depressed, not in a "waiting for the heroic do shit speech" sort of way but in the genuine "existing is painful, no energy, depression" kinda way.

And this is the point that rubs me the wrong way about the majority of complaints thrown at 03 Ed. It's not that wallowing in your own misery makes for good entertainment, but it's an important part of 03's themes and its point. I can also, just, relate more to this unproductive sense of pain. I have depression, that is what depression looks and feels like. It's unproductive, it's painful, it can't be fixed by someone just walking up to you and giving a dramatic speech. And that's why the way 03 expresses hurt resonates with me in a way that BH's just doesn't. It's low octane, and that's the point. That's what makes it good.

BH's Ending is a lot more Straight-Forwards than 03's Ending

I think that's the best way I can put it without saying something I flat out disagree with. BH, in general, is much more straight-forwards than 03, and the endings of both show embody that. BH is, ultimately, a fun show where the heroes have to take a bunch of twists and turns to come out victorious. Meanwhile, 03 is an extremely messy show about characters being put in fucked up situations and no one coming out of it unscathed. It's about decisions that will haunt you for the rest of your life. It's about situations where the right answer is the one you least want to accept. It's a show about how the people will create doctrines to shield themselves from the truth. And it's a show about human selfishness. The endings of both shows are exactly how their shows should have ended. BH was never going to have a bad ending and 03 was never going to have a completely satisfactory ending. If 03 had a happy ending, the show would've been worse off for it.

So, yeah, BH's ending is a lot more straight-forward. It's a happy ending where everyone gets what they want more or less. Narrative knots are tied. All that shit. I personally thought the ending was nothing special. Like, it's another happy ending. I can't fault people for enjoying it for that, but it's not the type of thing that's going to stand out in my brain.

Meanwhile, 03's ending does a lot of nontraditional things. There's arguably multiple major plot twists that come out of nowhere and are more of a "fuck you" to the audience than anything else. The protagonists end the series arguably off worse than where they started. Wrath and Gluttony are still alive and haven't had their arcs concluded in any satisfying way. There's no guarantee that the setting or the characters in it will continue to be okay after the series ends. And that's okay. The ending of 03 is very messy because it's meant to be messy because the point that the show is making is that the world is neither straightforward nor fair, which is why you gotta keep doing the best you can to improve it. That's why the ending is uplifting. Even though Edward's in arguably the worst position he's been in throughout the series, having literally lost everything, he hasn't given up, so you, the viewer, shouldn't give up either. Life doesn't end until it ends, so you should live.

And yeah, the ways that 03's and BH's ending function are fundamentally different. I can totally see why one ending would pass someone by. Like I already said, I didn't feel anything watching BH's ending but 03's ending felt very significant to me, and I could totally understand the inverse being true for some people.

Conclusion

People give BH too much credit and shit too much on 03. Like, 03 is just the better show. It's just that 03 isn't designed to be a comfortable watch in the same way BH is. You're meant to leave BH feeling good, you're meant to leave 03 with a lot to think about. If 03 makes you uncomfortable, that's a feature, not a bug. Many of the fan advertised strengths and weaknesses of each show is really just differences in genre.

And while I've repeatedly conveyed that 03 is the better show, that's not because BH is bad; 03 is just really fucking good. It's like comparing Elden Ring to Dark Souls 1; sure they're made by the same developers and have a lot of surface level similarities, but they're so fundamentally different experiences that viewing them through the same lens isn't fair to either. There are a lot of things that BH does well, and there are a lot of things that 03 does well. But it's not fair to say "BH does X thing better than 03 therefore it's better" (or the occasions where the inverse claim is made) because both shows are trying to paint very different pictures, to the point where I don't consider them to be parts of the same genre. There may be similar components, but the way those components are used is very different from one-another. Comparing the two shows makes for interesting analysis, but it's bad for the purposes of actually criticizing either show.

#fma03 #fmab #fma analysis #fma2003 #fullmetal alchemist #fma #fmab critical #that's right i'm using all the tags this time #mostly because i've put a ridiculous amount of time writing this so i'd like it to be seen by other ppl #and yeah responses are good even you don't have much to say I love seeing other ppl's opinions about shit

[leonstamatis]

ao3 year in review is an awesome idea. 12, 22, 25?

oh thank you!! i cannot take full credit for it -- i am absolutely sure i've seen it around before -- but i'm glad you enjoy it!

12: What’s your most popular fic for the year? Is it your best one?

it is by far symbiosis, a character study based on the dnd movie. i think it is definitely one of my most successful studies this year, and there's a lot about it that i love. but it's not like. particularly innovative? so by one measure, it is the best! and by other metrics, perhaps not so much. i do love it though.

25: Free space: Recommend a fic!

i don't even watch the show, haven't since the first campaign, but i do think folks should read this critrole fic because it's perfect to me: when you're in trouble, go into your dance

22: Share a deleted scene, if you have one.

ooh lemme dig... i don't think i have a deleted scene from a current work, but i can give you one for an abandoned WIP:

Boston digs its nails into Layna, deeper and stronger than the teeth of the Hellmouth. It’s the first time, really, that she’s felt anything stronger than the tug of her home; if she’s honest about it, she’d never thought that kind of thing was possible.

She should know better. There’s always something stronger, something bigger, something that can carve your insides out and leave you feeling hollow.

Well. Maybe that’s a little too on the nose. Layna shakes her head at her own dramatics and focuses instead on the coffee in her hands, the person seated across the table from her in this very loud, very Boston cafe.

“It’s not so bad,” Moses Mason, formerly Simmons, formerly excellent actor, says. They smile in the sort of lopsided way Layna knows would make most people swoon. “The team is pretty insular, but if you’re patient…”

They wave a hand, as if that’s an adequate end to a sentence. Layna’s lips twist to one side of their own accord.

“Then they’ll get over the fact that I was never supposed to be here,” Layna finishes, “and that I am a constant reminder of a significant hit to both performance and morale?”

Moses’ smile doesn’t waver. “Sure, something like that.”

Layna sips her coffee. It’s too bitter, but she doesn’t have it in her to order another one. “You’re a terrible welcoming committee.”

“I’m the only welcoming committee,” Moses corrects.

“And?”

“And that means it doesn’t matter how good I am.”

They say it with a wink, like they’re letting Layna into some kind of secret. Maybe they are; Layna doesn’t have the lay of the land, here, not yet. Some other time, when she isn’t grieving, when she isn’t lost, when she isn’t absolutely furious at her circumstances, maybe she’ll be in on the joke. Maybe.

“My condolences to your captain,” Layna mutters into her drink.

Moses shrugs. “My condolences to you.”

There’s something there. Layna can see the spark of sincerity in the sentiment, like if Moses were just one or two degrees less relaxed there would be a genuine apology. She appreciates that they don’t go that far; she’s never been comfortable with pity.

And, as such, she is perfectly comfortable changing the subject, however clunky the transition may be. “Who should I be keeping an eye on around here, then? Any trouble?”

Moses shoots her a sharp grin, pretty and pointed. “Me, probably.”

“Oh, please.” Layna hides her own smile behind the rim of her mug. “I can handle you.”

“You sound pretty confident there, Hollywood.”

“I didn’t spend six years in the Hellmouth to fall victim to some big brown eyes and pretty flowers.”

“Aw,” Moses intones, dipping their chin down. “You think I’m pretty?”

Moses is a flirt. Layna knows it, and Moses knows it. The words are nothing; leaves floating on top of the current of a particularly quick stream. Easy to get distracted by, if she tries, but the thing is… The thing is, Layna’s been here a week, and she’s already seen who Moses tends to stare at during practice. It isn’t her.

So Layna meets the dipped chin, the artful pout, with a raised eyebrow. “Will a certain shortstop mind if I say yes?”

If it catches Moses off guard, they don’t show it. Instead, they shrug. They might be trying to force nonchalance, but then, they’ve got the training to pull it off. Layna narrows her eyes and looks for some kind of tell, a giveaway.

“I doubt it,” they say. They add a little flourish, even, flicking the hair and honeysuckle out of their – honestly, frustratingly pretty – big brown eyes.

“Hm.” Layna frowns. “Pity. Do you want him to?”

“You’re asking some very personal questions, for a stranger I just met,” Moses muses.

They don’t sound angry; if Layna had to put a word to it, she’d call them curious. Good. She can work with that.

“Then don’t call me a stranger,” Layna huffs, leaning in until her hair slips past her shoulder and falls, just slightly, over her face. “Call me your co-conspirator. You can even call me your date, as long as you’re buying.”

Pointedly, Moses pulls their wallet out of their pocket and flags the waiter.

Layna wasn’t lying, either. She can handle a Moses Mason, and she can certainly handle a Jacob Haynes. If she plays her cards right, they’ll be sorted out by the end of next season. Maybe sooner. Sure, she shouldn’t be here; she’s an anomaly, a mistake, a reminder of plots gone wrong and the dead weight around every team’s neck.

But she’s pretty damn good at writing a love story. Here, at least, that should be worth something.

#ask meme #cedardivine #tam.ask #thank you cedar!

[tellthemeerkatsitsfine]

I’ve been working through The Bugle relatively slowly since I started listening to it again a few weeks ago, which I’m happy about because it means I’ll run out of it more slowly. Have gone from episode 4200 to 4230, and I think these two are my favourites. Highly recommend them both, to anyone who enjoys this sort of thing. Episode 4226, from April 2022 with Nish Kumar and Alice Fraser, and episode 4230, from May 2022 with Nish Kumar and Tom Ballard.

You will notice a common thread there, which is the word “Nish”. Kumar/Fraser and Kumar/Ballard, just in general might be the best pairings you can get on The Bugle. Those have been three of the most frequently recurring guests since the “reboot” in 2016, and it’s taken time but they have built up a really good rapport with each other and with Andy Zaltzman. They always come in with good stuff written, and I don’t know if Andy comes in with better stuff when they’re around, but I do think he delivers it better, as he can play off them more comfortably. As close as he gets to comfortably.

I know that first episode had several strong points because it had a few bits from Nish that made it into his touring stand-up show (which I know because I saw it twice last year, once in New York and once in Montreal, and he filmed it ages ago now and I am still waiting for it to get released, it was so fucking good and I cannot wait to see it again); he writes a lot for The Bugle and I assume, like Andy, just takes the best of it for his tour show.

Also, Kumar/Fraser and Kumar/Ballard are both England/Australia pairings, which I think is also good. When you get people from different countries, you tend to get a broader range of directions for the topical jokes, instead of everyone going for the same thing. And they can get good humour out of comparing how the same event is seen on multiple sides of the globe.

They get some strong staples into these two episodes. Nish does his joke about American versus British racism being the same as The Office (the British one is subtle and understated while the American version gets big-name celebrities involves and is more in-your-face but Britain invented them both), which I've always liked. Andy does his Australian rules football versus Australian rules immigration joke that he's so proud of (needlessly violent and aggressive despite there being a colossal amount of space), which I've also always liked. Comparisons between two things that you wouldn't expect to be compared because they're on very different levels of seriousness: always a solid source of humour. And Alice Fraser got to go on one of her favourite rants, about how Elon Musk is basically fictional. Pretending something doesn't exist when it definitely does exist: also always funny. On the subject of the classics, at one point in the Tom Ballard episode, Andy brought up the routine he and John Oliver used to have about turning global wars into a sports tournament, and then he recited the whole thing from memory, which is pretty good given that it would have been at least ten years since he'd performed it. Oh, and that episode began with such a long string of - as the British say - wanking jokes that it ended with Andy Zaltzman declaring this is not what The Bugle is for and John Oliver would be turning in his grave over this. Which is a great line; I think from now on, every time something terrible happens in the world, I'm going to say that John Oliver must be turning in his grave (a joke that I think works extra well during the writer's strike, when John Oliver is, as far as the public is concerned, temporarily dead).

There's been lots of good stuff in the 30 episodes I've heard lately, but these two stood out. Good work all around. Also, I'm now into the June 2022 episodes, which means for the first time since I started the earliest episodes, where were from 2007, I have less than a year of Bugle left to catch up on. But it's okay, because I've just received a bunch of other very exciting stuff to listen to that's going to the top of the list, so I can continue to drag The Bugle out and it'll never end.

[gleefullypolin]

I ended up unhinged yesterday about the spoilers, even the contrast of LOWK vs Colin, and since I'm relatively new to this particular fandom, saw some of the nastiest things said about Polin by, ahem, a certain ship's fans. No idea what that's about and critical thinking skills are lost on them apparently.

Anyway what I really wanted to know was if you had seen the spoilers and what you thought of them? If not or you're not interested in them, please ignore me.

So a little thing about me is that I have heavy anxiety. So I can't sit back with things I love and not know about them. I HAVE to know so I can enjoy something. So I go out and find EVERYTHING to spoil myself so I CAN enjoy it when it comes out. So I went out yesterday and READ EVERYTHING I could. I read the accounts of everyone who saw the 1st episode so that I could then take from their views what I could.

Now don't get me wrong, other people watching episodes is always subjective. Because someone else watching something may be taken differently than me watching something. I may not be as offended or may be more offended by a line or scene than someone else. However, I was pretty ok with what I read of episode one.

I'll put this under a cut in case others don't care to read about spoilers or my take on what I read:

I was very pleased with the "Eloise" of it all as I was most stressed about her storyline this season and how I was going to feel about her and Cressida. I guess it gave me hope that she's not completely lost as she wasn't terrible about Pen and showed she still cared even with Colin and trying to shield him from what Pen wrote about him (Cheeky girl, she really doesn't learn does she? and perhaps she didn't truly love his apology or accept his new glow up as genuine either).

Also Colin is doing the appropriate amount of "I'm a man and can show you the world" but also "OMYGERD I need my bestie and can't survive please speak to me" behavior because he's still a baby without her.

And I got something I didn't realize I needed....two love tropes. My best friends to lovers with Polin and my enemies to lovers with Colin and Whistledown. It's delicious.

When it comes to the other ships, I'm new to this fandom too and quite taken aback honestly by the terrible things I'm seeing from a certain other ships fandom. It was surprising to me as I was not part of this fandom until this year and I didn't expect it at all. I thought it was going to be more of a family vibe and less of an "I'm jealous we lost the spotlight" vibe. But to each their own. Sucks to suck.

Honestly I've been more disappointed by the takes I've seen from inside the Polin fandom. But I think some of that might be more people who are not exactly Polin coded and more stans for one character over the other.

Either way you can be sure I will be on the case to flesh out as many spoilers as I can find and will be definitely here to discuss any you wish to talk about because I can't live happily without them before the season airs or I might actually go mad before May 16th.

#my asks #wonderful people

[wrennsly]

Thank you for clarifying and responding to my questions! The idea of people's terrible behavior and attitudes influencing their creative work is one that's been debated in the community recently. It may be interesting to see what someone with more expertise on the subject can find. I'm curious if you're going to implement any formal research design.

Now, on a more personal note, I've watched Wilbur Soot since 2019. While learning what we know now was stressful and horrifying and it hurt, I have to say that I'm far from damaged. Some people didn't cope super well, and were more affected by this than me. So it's probably better to hear from more people first. Maybe it's because I've seen situations similar before, or that so much had already happened in the mcyt community in the months prior, or maybe because I had already lost interest in most of his characters and content, or that it was easy to see the connections between the allegations and behavior we had already seen from him; I was not as hurt as I could have been. But I am angry. A lot of us are really fucking angry. And we want to see his reputation and everything he has created rot. SO! imo? do your worst :)

It may be worth looking into Wilbur's other ex that came forward (also his friends and colleagues). She gave new info about his abuse, and their relationship was a lot closer to when the arg was created. It was pretty clearly a behavioral pattern with him.

-🥝

I’m sorry for taking so long to answer, life came at me fast today

As for personal notes, I was also a big fan of Wilbur’s around quarantine and even before that I was there for the making of the arg, so I guess along with the research a greedy part of me still wants to solve it since I love args and puzzles and hate leaving them unsolved, however that of course is not the main reason I want to do this

I am also looking into the affects of viewers finding out that their entertainers have been (in the simplest way I can put it) corrupt and the emotional impact of that experience, since it is something I have gone through multiple times

As for the other victims I have reached out to them as well and let it be known that if even one of them do not feel comfortable with this research it will cease immediately

That being said there are several other examples I can use over the years, but none really connecting to social media and content creation (most are just literature and video games) so I would love to be able to study this and share my findings

#wilbur situation

[the-firebird69]

We have a few things to announce is true we get interrupted and they have a split other stuff it's true too

There's a few more things happening here in punta Gorda and today and right now it's Sunday and they laid off a lot of people of public and private work but they won't be in until Monday so they can't confirm it I'm just going to wander around being jerks there's a couple other things

A certain situation is no better than it was when you arrived in Port Charlotte 6 or 7 years ago and I want to put it that way because he does has the same thing this situation is terrible these people suck and got worse instead of better and they're supposed to be rebels and they are terrible to our sons terrible to complete assholes and he agrees it says they can't overcome Max programming and it's a problem.

There's a few more things going on and they are that we are without a leader when he's occupied here doing their stuff and it's nasty but he says the backs occupied him for a long time by comparison doing things that we're nowhere near rebellious and we're aware of it but it makes the situation more difficult and he's opposing them and they're punishing him and we don't seem to be stopping them it looks hunky dory but you probably wouldn't make it for a day thier so damned annoying. I don't want to know what I'm going to have to do it it says and some people are not aware of this and or are not up to date or they don't stay here or something like that you have to have tours and we have to have tours by our higher ups too cuz he says it's desensitization. I don't want that either so we have a problem here and we're going to get together and solve it.

Few more points because of Sunday the layoffs are there but we'll take effects until Monday but everyone is going to be bothered by these freaks and that's just the way it is I guess no the cops are going to be out and it's because it's coming down to the end of it and they will be out in force. And yeah there has some brutally Big Macs out there it's not necessarily. Bob birdies and they're out there moving down this idiots. I wouldn't see you in here and cut loose on you idiots at the waterfront you be gone in seconds cuz he was weapons I want to hear your s*** you have to go somewhere else.

It's a nasty time and you little kids are spoiled so we have a lot of things that we have to do what it was is to heal our son and he needs it pretty good

Well thier fortifieing well you're blabbing w real troops. And don't expect a free gift because they're on their way and they will be here momentarily yeah to this neighborhood a bunch of units pulling plenty of idiots out that would be you ppl here morlok in PG. Astsounded I need to check on it.

They are talking about putting things in the way of the side of the road and that's these folks I'm moving on to something different no it's more of this going on

There's a global effect and a result from what they're doing and they know about it the morlock get up and start to try and fight and go right at the max no, they become silly and mean and seize and broil and go around yelling at people and then try and blow people up so he grabbed tons of them and huge piles of ordinance from all over lots from the Midwest giant giant giant piles. Some of the caches and stashes are so big full of explosives will take you cutting the whole thing out and just carry to get off into space giant ones. A matter time before we get done. There's a few other things that have to happen and we're going to make sure that they do

-I want our sons face to clear up it's got some bruises there it's just kind of sit there and I've never seen that happened to him and I want to know why and he says it was really good packs since scarring and it is why and I wanted to be cleaned up

-I want people to stop every time before he gets things and if you're planning on getting him stop a whole bunch of them

-I was this crisis here averted where our leader is the subject of constant ridicule annoying calls packages that may or may not get it there I want these people wiped out if they can't be stopped I don't want you to try and stop them and give me yoir recommendation

-we need to get organized here this place is still a mess and I've seen Captain idea didn't work it's all of our responsibility and we need to make sure we can start doing that instead we used to have a system in Boston and it was easier this neighborhoods were doing it of different races so there's a little bit it was here but not that much no there's a bunch of it here and we can do it and we should start doing that

-we've had nothing but a constant headache from every single one of these people it was a pestering us we put the hammer down and flatten their idiots one way or the other as to say that's the right time it won't shut the hell up no matter how many of them are dead. We need to know why you're such a complete spazzes. Mostly they're like bothering him is that like this massive discovery.

Our father and mother says this is what they're doing we've tried for years to reverse it to negotiate them not to to stop them using various methods even direct Force it was going to have to comply and use it the way it's formatted against them in other words it's not a massive task to do that they were making this mountain out of this idiot deep and it's taking too much time the second guess what to do when we have a way in a plan and it works. And the enemy wants to slow Us and consternate it really is not necessary. They're coming down asking for a handout demanding stuff they're in our face being rude so just come down on he said even if you proved like Jason threatening 59 times and it proved to Jason that doesn't work there's a couple problems with it what is if you really prove it there's no way to okay that's the case and you really think you proven it though it stays away for 2 weeks our son will be blindsided by some screaming addicts satanist. The stuff built up is why so we have to flush them everyday as they request or we get 59 requests in one day now this is juvenile stuff it's childish it's horrendous you can't believe it's true but they're doing it you can't believe that they would do that to someone valuable and are doing it and you can't believe that that's the punishment and they just proceed well he says I tried everything he really did it's well past it if they ask for it they going to get it. Police said it was quite genius you said where going to sit here and try to reinvent something that already works it's almost like we developed it and we can't stand it the reason why we can't stand it is they're just heinous and they decide they could open up smiling and trying to do their crap it doesn't do much for them except the noise except annoy us and they used too do that for Max. The max cut the loose from it and they get worse. So they understand what it is and I'm trying to capture us and all this other stuff we don't go over every point to the math thanks. But boy you people are going you people are damned annoying very very very very annoying I need to get your clock cleaned that's going to use this method

---there's a simple way of saying, is that like this we are here to dominate you no matter what you do or what you say and globally. And then run around and then start yelping and they accidentally and you're supposed to count tow regardless of their status and if they care they check with they don't. The players that way works and people can hear it and we have a strong reaction to it and was shying away from the reaction thinking that these people do us a favor and they don't. I'm writing up an sop now

---there's another way to say it and it's like this"hey kids get your bridges on we're about to go to town on you" and " I don't think you know who we are oh yeah you do and your dick in w us". There's a couple responses now these people are ripe and what he's saying is we got them there we're the ones who drive this we do it on purpose I was giving each other's s*** and the boss s*** for what we worked on and it doesn't make any sense it's not much but really religious to it and we don't need it it's not real cover

---I say it like this there's a perfect leading for us and really if you let it go their blithering thier assess off

---still more still like this, we need room in here we need space for your place to live and we're going to take their ass and take their land and so far Mac does not grab the land or forced it out of them so we're going to that's what they're doing is pitiful and we respect our father and mother I should not yell at them or shout at them or push them to do stuff thier trying very hard. These people are doing it, they admitted what they're doing me still sense it's a living Boone it's what we've been looking for as long as we extrapolate upon it and it should be said that we've taken huge territories and made massive fortunes because of it so far and it's absolutely true. I want It All in every single piece of equipment that we can get all the gold and all the diamonds before they try and contaminate it every few minutes and that'll be a force me sure but we need it now it don't need them having bomb material. Apollo and Goddess Wife

---same old sables we're inundated with it and we're crushed with it but we started it and I need help with it we need help with it and our people need us and these people are obnoxious and what we do with them is what Apollo and got his wife said even though you can hear it and it's obnoxious and we have to act, what my people in cadry are saying, it's not right on the air but their actions are and they are under supreme duress and I know I'm here with them. So how something something happens from Apollo and goddess wife to hear in the field and people should look at that there's a disconnect and these people just sit here spewing because they think that they're still in power still have stuff and more we need to know what it is and that's the problem my people are over words and buried with it but probably no this is an issue and it's affecting us and a lot of the issues us we're going around griping about these morons and they're hell of spit and venomous insults and threats and their actions are going to get more and more griping and we're not going to be ready if we just sit there griping about what the damn well sound like when they shouldn't sound like anything because they're supposed to just silence them Zues Hera

That's very well put and yeah we're leaving on them and they're just upset and angry and doing the job and say they say this they say that it won't shut the hell up but in fact they're making bombs and terrorist threats and doing terrorist attacks that's just how they react now we have to sit down and study that for real

Thor Freya

We have a certain amount of fear and what he said it in a great way it's what's happening it's all on them still there's too much stuff they're overburdened and we're not doing it again so let's get in there

Olympus

[sir-adamus]

the way some people get on like Tai’s failings as a parent are somehow justified and he shouldn’t be criticised for them is real fucking annoying

#rwb/y #like yeah - he was grieving over losing Summer #but so were the kids! #and they were so young they barely understood what was happening #and because he fucked up and didn't get help looking after them #Yang basically had to take care of things BY HERSELF #and the timeline we're given would barely put her at five years old during that time #but i've just seen someone complain about the criticisms against him as 'whining that he's not like Ghira or Kali' no! #that's not what this is #he dropped the ball and i'm calling that out because the fandom refuses to acknowledge it #and when they do they try to justify it like there's ANY excuse for child neglect #over the years i've seen some pretty terrible takes on this subject #like once i saw someone say that it was FINE that Tai neglected the kids because Yang was able to pick up the slack #like??? #a) that was EXTREMELY lucky because she was a child and #b) she should NEVER have had to 'pick up the slack' #they were children who needed a parent and he failed them #but again - in response to that response i'd reblogged - i'm seeing people trying to justify and excuse that

[raineydaywrites]

"Looks good on you." and blupjeans ??

Sorry for how terribly late this response is but here you go!!

Lup found herself staring at her own reflection in the mirror again. She'd been doing that an awful lot lately, and she couldn't- or wouldn't- quite articulate why.

"Hey," Barry said, gruffly, coming back from the bathroom to stand beside her and wrap his arms around her. Lup watched his reflection nuzzle into her neck in the mirror until she squirmed, ticklish, away from his kisses. "It looks good on you."

"What, a ratty old t-shirt and sweatpants?" Lup laughed. "I mean, you're not wrong, I'm hot as hell in anything, but this isn't exactly my Most Look Ever, ya know?"

Barry chuckled and nuzzled his nose into her neck again. "Ridiculous. Untrue. You're the hottest t-shirt and sweatpants wearer I've ever seen. You could wear pajamas for the rest of your life and make it work."

Lup turned in his arms to face him now, gazing up at him with soft, affectionate eyes.

"Yeah, babe, I know! I'm not doubting my sexiness, just asking what brought this on," she said lightly.

Barry's face turned more serious suddenly, and Lup regretted asking, knowing that she'd just shot her own attempt at changing the subject before Barry could bring Feelings into their discussion.

"I wasn't really talking about the outfit," he murmured.

"I know," Lup whispered, leaning into his chest.

Her hands moved down her own body, softly caressing the bump at her middle where her stomach was steadily growing rounder and firmer, giving their baby a place to live. Ever since she'd started showing, her reflection kept catching her gaze oddly. It wasn't a bad odd, exactly, but her mind couldn't stop sending error messages saying this wasn't what she looked like and something was off.

"I wanted this. I always wanted this. Why does it feel so weird?" Lup asked, desperate.

"I think pregnancy just feels weird for a lot of people. Your body is different than you're used to. That's not a bad thing, it just takes some getting used to," Barry shrugged. "And for us? I mean, think about it, Loopy. We were basically exactly the same for 100 years. Never aging, never changing all that much. We all got used to being a certain way. 'Course it's gonna feel weird to be different."

Lup shrugged, but the corners of her lips twitched slightly upward.

“You always know what to say,” she sighed, leaning her head affectionately into Barry’s chest.

“Uh, sorry, have you met me?” Barry chucked, and Lup could feel the rumble of it in his chest. “I’m not exactly Mr. Eloquent, hon.”

“To me,” Lup clarified. “You always know what to say to me.”

“Oh.” It was a whisper, accompanied by a gentle kiss to the top of her head. “I mean, uh, pretty sure that took a bit of practice too.”

“Nah. You got me, from day one. I wouldn’t’a said anything back then, but it’s true.”

“You got me from the start too.”

They held each other a moment longer, okay with the silence.

“Oh!” Barry burst, pulling back. “Almost forgot. Taako finished those clothes you wanted him to modify.”

“Hell yeah!” Lup cheered. Taako had been working on transmuting her regular clothes to maternity clothes, but it was fiddly work and she hadn’t realized how soon she’d need it.

“He said they were back in the closet if you wanna check it out,” Barry said, and Lup was already moving to do so.

She pulled out the first thing she saw, a little purple dress, and slipped it on, breath hitching slightly in concern over how it would fit. It wasn’t like Taako had known what her measurements were going to be ahead of time, after all.

But the dress settled nicely over her bump, fitting close but not too tight, and she beamed over at her husband.

“How do I look?” she asked, twirling slightly, completely pleased with herself for the first time in a little while.

“Amazing,” Barry breathed it with the same awe he always did, and Lup couldn’t help but move to kiss him.

“Right back atcha, babe.”

#blupjeans #taz balance #my writing #barry bluejeans #lup

[bestworstcase]

On the subject of the last ask, do you think Cap was a good dad to Cass? I've seen argument her actions in s3 were not justified because she had a good parental figure so she was just being a child about the whole ordeal of not receiving a mother's affection but even though I agree her motivations were tainted I'm not sure I agree Cap was such a good dad she wouldn't want to be seeking for parent approval

w well

i think in general there’s probably no hope for the sort of people who reduce cassandra’s motivations down to “mommy issues” because my feeling there is you can’t really reason with people who are determined not to empathize with female characters no matter what - and i really do think you have to be, at the least, pretty emotionally removed from cassandra’s perspective to not see how unhealthy her relationship with her dad really was, because it. whoo. s1 did not pull punches in this regard. *waves vaguely at the linked post*

there is also i think an element of, idk, we see this phenomenon in the fandom with quirin and frederic where they are both Not Great dads who toe right up to the line of emotional abuse and imo in fred’s case step over it in SOTS, and the tts fandom has a tendency to take that and go ok these men are horribly abusive in every imaginable way! because nuance is dead.

and the captain by and large does not get that treatment except in like, very occasional cassunzel fics where he is used as the homophobic hammer with which to forge some extra angst - and i think, in a way, this combines with the common fanon Unrelentingly Terrible Dad characterizations of quirin and fred to kind of… inure the general fandom to the unhealthy way cap treats cassandra; his fanon characterization looks so much better by comparison to the Abusive Monsters quirin and especially frederic get twisted into that i think a lot of folks straight up forget that in canon all three of them kind of equally suck in s1 and all three of them have (admittedly very half-assed lol) arcs about getting better in s3. and this then gets translated to cassandra with but she had a good dad so why does she care about gothel which also, frankly, is a gross misunderstanding of the myriad ways early childhood neglect and abuse and parental abandonment and adoption can all be traumatic in and of themselves, and in combination with each other will absolutely fuck someone up for life even in the idealest circumstance.

i have also seen the variant of “well cass grew up in a palace she has all this privilege so how dare she say she has nothing and rapunzel got everything” which ignores how absolutely conditional every privilege cassandra has was, and how it was clearly drilled into her that it was conditional and temporary and could be taken away at whim. she is privileged to have grown up economically comfortable and with enough status to get away with being quietly, privately gnc in a country where that is obviously Not Okay - but that privilege could have spun around and stabbed her in the back at a drop of a hat and she knew that. hell, we SEE it spin around to stab her in the back at the end of s1, when the captain makes good on his threat to force her into a convent. everything cassandra had before taking the moonstone was absolutely dependent on her dancing to corona’s exacting tune and it could be snatched away at the whim of her father or literally any person in the coronan court with enough power to force his hand. even her *best friend* being the princess was not enough to keep her place in corona secure. like, she’s better off than, say, lady caine—but barely.

kshdkd i could rant for literal hours about this but like to wrap around back to what you actually ASKED - in s1 cassandra’s desire to be a guard is so so so clearly based in wanting to earn her father’s approval and trust, like, him letting her be a guard is the ultimate symbol of that and every time he says no she is basically hearing “you’re not good enough for me” and quite apart from his parenting and how her trauma influenced how she perceived his feelings towards her, the Fact Is cassandra worked herself to the BONE trying to earn her father’s approval and love and she, crucially, left corona feeling like she hadn’t. and i think it’s important to read her utter DESPERATION for a scrap of true, open, unearned affection from gothel with that fact in mind, because at the end of the day gothel is someone cassandra didn’t know and she can cling to gothel as an ideal, of a sort - as well i know she was an awful person but maybe she loved me anyway, maybe i was her daughter and that mattered to her deep down, because cassandra spent eighteen YEARS trying to earn her dad’s love and she feels like she never, ever measured up, which in a horrible trauma fueled way does actually make gothel the better option here, in that at this point gothel is An Idea and not an actual person.

#rta #tts #also zhan tiri is the only character in-universe who Empathizes with cassandra but that is so tangential it doesn’t rly belong in the post #but yeah pls get this woman some real emotional support 😭

[srivsblk]

strange theories to keep the boys away | george weasley;

summary: after you created a “strange theory” to find a date for the Yule Ball and have fun, George Weasley, your best friend Ron’s brother, is sure that he’s the right guy;

warnings: —;

—

“What are you doing?” asked Ron Weasley sitting right in front of me.

The library had never been this noisy. All the students arrived with the intention of studying for those few subjects in which the professors continued to give homework and inevitably ended up talking about the Yule Ball.

“What do you mean what am I doing?” I asked looking at him confused. “Studying.”

“Well, everyone is talking about the Yule Ball,” Ron shrugged while Harry sat next to him. “You probably already have a date.”

I sighed and placed the quill on the table, paying my attention to Ron. “Actually, no,” I said observing Ron's expression, which went from calm to shock. “Oh, don’t look at me like that!”

“You- You don’t have a date!” Ron exclaimed wide-eyed pointing at me. “How?”

“High expectations regarding boys, I guess,” I shrugged looking around the room. “I mean, it's not like nobody asked me.”

“Did you know it?” I heard Ron asking Harry in a whisper receiving a simple ‘no’ as an answer.

“Have you seen Hermione, by any chance?” I asked frowning and still looking around. “I thought she was with you two.”

Harry shrugged. “Actually, we thought she was with you.”

I nodded with my brows furrowed and realized that Hermione was probably somewhere around the castle talking about her beloved S.P.E.W. Although Hermione remained my best friend and the only one I could talk to about women's issues, lately I found myself spending more time with Harry and Ron. And when I needed Hermione, I went to the library hoping to find her and sometimes failing. For this reason, I had now spent so much time in the library and alone that I had finished my homework and devoted myself to taking notes on future topics.

“How much time did you spend in the library?” asked Ron observing the open page of the Potions book in front of me. “I'm pretty sure Snape hasn't explained those things yet!”

“Well, long enough to be able to say I’m ahead of the schedule.”

“Ahead?” Ron said shocked. “Blimey, Y/N, either Hermione has infected you or you are terribly bored!”

“Thanks, Ron, coming from you it's a real compliment!” I said sarcastically. “And how's the date you don't have because you're too chicken to ask someone to come to the Yule Ball with you?”

Ron, visibly offended in his pride, was about to argue but was suddenly cut off.

“Yes, Ron! How's your date?”

Turning slightly I noticed that Fred and George Weasley were behind me and had probably overheard the last part of the conversation. Being one of Ron's best friends and having spent a lot of time at his home, seeing Fred and George was nothing new. In fact, in the last year I was sometimes surprised not to see them more often, but Ron kept repeating that they had become suspicious since we arrived at Hogwarts. As Fred sat on my left and George on my right, Ron rolled his eyes and sighed.

“I thought you two were busy.” Ron muttered looking between the twins.

“Exactly,” Fred said smirking. “We were.”

“But a little break doesn't kill anyone,” continued George who was mirroring his brother’s expression. Meanwhile, Harry had a smirk on his face and was exchanging amused glances with me.

“Oh, me and my date are perfectly fine,” Ron said with a forced smile, “but let’s talk about Y/N who still doesn't have a date!”

I looked at him tilting my head confused. “I think you didn't listen to me, Ronald,” I sighed. “It was a choice!”

“I can’t believe you,” Ron said shaking his head. “Nobody goes alone to the Yule Ball by choice!”

“What do you mean?” asked Fred curious.

I sighed and turned to Fred explaining myself. “Someone has already asked me to go to the Yule Ball with them and I refused saying I already had a date.” I calmly said before glancing at Ron who was shaking his head. “However, it's a good choice I've made this past week and I have no second thoughts.”

“I still don't understand it!” groaned Ron frustrated. “From what other guys say you are one of the prettiest girls at Hogwarts and even Malfoy would not care about your house and social status to go to the Yule Ball with you. You're wasting your luck, Y/N!”

“What is your choice based on?” asked Harry over Ron’s muttered words.

I looked at him and noticed that he was genuinely curious and so I started telling him what I kept telling myself every day. “The guys who asked me to go to the Yule Ball with them were from Durmstrang. I have nothing against them but... I mean, I didn't know them enough! You know how sad it is to go to the Yule Ball with one of them and spend a boring evening or discover that maybe they are like Karkaroff! I have decided that I will go with a person with whom I know I can have a pleasant evening. Besides, I'm not afraid to go alone.”

I caught my breath after my words and took the time to observe the reactions of the other boys. Harry struggled to understand my reasoning, but Ron had given up as soon as he heard the news and was waiting with his arms folded for a reaction as exaggerated as his. Fred, however, looked at me confused and George, who had listened carefully to my words, was thinking hard about something.

After twenty seconds of pure silence, Ron decided to interrupt the confusion. “Blimey, Y/N, there is no need to make up strange theories to keep the boys away.”

Ron's words sparked a deep rage that caused my body temperature to rise dramatically. My cheeks were probably tinged red with anger because I noticed Harry looking at me worriedly as if I was going to explode. Ron, however, did not notice the effect of his words. He had behaved like this with Harry before the first task, with Hermione more than once and now with me too. I had enough. With all the anger still inside, I got up from my chair causing a noise that attracted the attention of some people in the room and quickly collected my books. I took the bag and looking at Ron with narrowed eyes and pursed lips, I left. At that moment even Hagrid could have mistaken me for an angry dragon. Keep the boys away. How dare he? He knew me well and I would have accepted such words coming from Pansy Parkinson or Draco Malfoy, but not from Ronald Weasley. Was he jealous? Well, it wasn't my fault that he hadn't found the courage to ask Hermione to be his date! Yet it was not a plausible enough excuse to blame me for not accepting two proposals!

“Y/N!” I heard a voice calling me, which made me turn around and stop.

George Weasley had probably run from the library to follow me and was slightly out of breath. His hair slightly longer than last year was disheveled due to running. His bag was about to fall off his shoulder and there was a slight flush on his cheeks. After waiting for him to say something, I looked at him confused.

“What is it, George?” I asked in a kinder tone, regretting the brusque behavior of before. “Listen, if it’s about Ron-”

“Ron?” he asked frowning. “No, nothing about Ron, love! I just had to ask you something.”

I shrugged. “Go on, then.”

He looked around and was struggling to find the right words, but nonetheless he took a deep breath and became serious. “You and I. The Yule Ball. Together.”

George tried not to show his insecurity and was waiting for an answer from me, but he probably noticed my confusion because soon after he started to move his mouth looking for the right words, perhaps afraid of having said something wrong.

“Are you asking me to be your date, George?” I asked slowly understanding.

“Only if you want to!” he said hopeful adjusting the bag on his shoulder. “And don't think it's pity or something. I want to take you to the Yule Ball.”

I watched George closely and noticed small details that I had always overlooked in recent years. George had become a handsome boy and his fame as a prankster had made him known throughout the school. But I only knew him as Ron's brother who had always been nice to me, even defending me from some bad Slytherin pranks. “Yes,” I said satisfied of my choice. “I'll go to the Yule Ball with you!”

The expression on George's face went from nervous to relieved and enthusiastic in less than a second. He kissed me on the cheek and ran away screaming through the halls as if he had won an important Quidditch match. The place where George left the kiss on my cheek was warm and when I touched it I suddenly smiled. Then I turned and continued walking - this time more slowly and cheerfully - towards the common room.

What happened in the following days was a succession of events and voices that created a sort of pause between the moment when George had asked me to go to the Yule Ball and the evening that everyone was waiting for.

Although Hermione was shocked when I told her that same evening that I had accepted George's proposal, she told me that she should actually have foreseen it. However, she told me that I hadn't chosen badly since at least with George I was sure I could have fun. As for her date, Hermione had finally told me that she had agreed to go with Victor Krum and that he wasn't as bad as everyone thought. George, on the other hand, kept an impassive attitude when he met me with Harry and Ron. He had only told Fred and Lee Jordan that I was his date, as only Ginny and Hermione had heard from me. Harry and Ron had not suspected anything, although they had known that I had finally found a date. Apparently, neither Ron nor I wanted to resume that discussion because he was merely commenting on the Yule Ball matters with Harry. Just a few days before the event, I discovered that my two best friends were planning to bring the Patil twins to the Yule Ball. I thought it was a choice to save themselves from the inevitable loneliness, but I never told them. Hermione still didn't talk about her date in front of Ron and she preferred to avoid any conversation about the Ball.

“Who is he?” asked Ron two days before the Yule Ball while playing chess with Harry.

I sighed closing the book I was reading and looked at him. “No need to keep asking, Ron! You'll see him in two days.”

However, even though I kept refusing, Ron was so curious about my date's name that he repeated the names of all male Hogwarts students from our year and up. Still, it was interesting how he skipped his twin brothers, probably sure that neither George nor Fred saw me as a real girl.

On Christmas day, just after waking up and opening the presents, Hermione and I met Harry and Ron and went to breakfast together. Although the general excitement for the Yule Ball, we decided to spend the morning in the Gryffindor tower, where everyone enjoyed their presents, then returned to the Great Hall for a magnificent lunch. The afternoon passed quickly between walks on the grounds of Hogwarts and snow fights. Hermione and I watched Harry and the other Weasleys having snow fights, while Hermione occasionally sneaked a glance at the smiles George and I exchanged. Around five, Hermione checked the time and took my arm as she rose from the ground. Apparently it was already late and we had to get ready for the evening.

“What, you need three hours?” said Ron, looking at Hermione incredulously, and being hit by George with a snowball. “Who’re you two going with?” he yelled after me and Hermione, but she just waved while I smiled at George and shook my head. Then we disappeared up the stone steps into the castle.

It had taken three hours to prepare both me and Hermione. She had been having some problems with her bushy hair as I kept pacing the room, trying not to panic. Hermione, as soon as she noticed my nervousness, tried to calm me down ("Oh, George is a great guy, Y/N! You'll definitely have fun.") and she helped me put on my dress. Looking in the mirror I had never felt this way. Suddenly, Christmas at Hogwarts took on another meaning. I looked at Hermione smiling and we finally headed for the Great Hall.

Arriving at the Great Hall Hermione left me with a hug and walked over to Krum. I peered around looking for George or at least Harry and Ron so as not to feel completely alone. Finally, after a few moments, I found George talking animatedly with Fred, who had a splendid Angelina beside him. As I walked towards them, Angelina said something to George making him turn in my direction and he finally noticed me. My smile widened further and I saw it was the same for George. He walked away from Fred and Angelina and arrived in front of me.

“You’re-” George couldn’t find the words while looking at me. “Merlin, Y/N, you’re wonderful!”

“You're not bad too, George!” I smiled taking his arm. “I've spent the last three hours preparing myself and I'm not going to lie, I'm nervous.”

“Well, no need to be nervous, love,” said George smirking. “It will be an unforgettable evening, trust me!”

“Oh, I trust you,” I said looking around. “Why are they all looking in our direction?”

George shrugged smirking. “Actually, they’re looking at me. They always do like this when they see me, don't worry!”

I laughed and held his arm tighter. “For a moment I had forgotten that you are the funny one.”

“Never forget that, love,” said George closer to my ear as we entered the Great Hall.

I noticed that Harry was nervous next to one of the Patil twins and Hermione was talking to Krum smiling. Many people needed more than a glance to recognize Hermione Granger, but I smiled at her as she did the same when she noticed me not far from her.

The first part of the evening passed quickly between laughter and an exquisite dinner. Fred kept throwing jokes at Angelina who pretended to be angry for a while and then laughed with the others. George and I had relaxed so much that being this close after a while felt more natural. He kept one arm on my chair and I squeezed his hand when he complimented me. When dinner was over and the Champions started dancing with their dates, George kept holding my hand before smiling at me and taking me to the dance floor. We may not have been the best dancers, but dancing with George just made me happy. After more dances together, George and I walked off the dance floor laughing and, noticing Harry and Ron near a table, we walked over to them.

“Why aren’t you two dancing?” I asked frowning and still holding George’s hand.

“We’re bored.” Ron muttered looking between me and George and trying to change the topic. “So you two-”

“What?” I asked curious.

“Nothing,” shrugged Ron sighing. “I didn't know you had a crush on George. That’s all.”

“I-” I tried to find the right words but felt my cheeks flush. “What are you talking about?”

“And you, George,” Ron said narrowing his eyes at George. “I didn't know you were interested in my best friend! Because that's what Y/N is, a sort of sister.”

As my cheeks became more and more red, I felt George boil in anger beside me at Ron's tone. “Well, Ron, maybe she is your sister, but not mine.”

“Whatever,” mumbled Ron sulky. “However, you remain two traitors. You haven't even told me anything about it.”

Harry stood next to Ron watching the scene. He was too smart to criticize us and agree with Ron, but he was too afraid of losing his best friend again to go against him. So I realized that Ron's only intention was to ruin the evening for all his best friends just because he didn't get what he wanted so much.

“You know, I had enough, Ron,” I said firmly looking at him. “Just because you can't have the best night of your life because of your bad mood doesn't mean you have to ruin my night too! For once I'm having fun and you ruin everything. I can’t accept it, I'm sorry.”

I walked away from my two friends and George with my heart pounding with anger. I didn't want to ruin anyone's evening, so my goal was to go outside and get some air and then find George and continue the wonderful evening. I noticed that the air outside was too cold for how I was dressed, so I sat on a sheltered bench observing the people around me. I recognized a fifth year girl walking with a boy from Durmstrang, and a seventh year couple sitting on a bench not far from me.

“Excuse me, is this seat occupied?” asked someone and turning around I found George smirking. As soon as I shook my head, George sat down beside me.

“I’m sorry,” I mumbled feeling guilty. “I had a wonderful evening with you and I feel I ruined it by talking to Ron.”

George slightly smiled and took my hand in his. “If anything you made this evening better by silencing Ron in less than two minutes!”

I laughed and looked at him. “Still, I’m sorry.”

“Well, no,” said George frowning. “I’m the one who’s sorry.”

“For what?”

“You deserve someone like Diggory or Krum, and instead you end up with George Weasley, the prankster,” George shrugged looking down.

“I like George Weasley,” I smiled holding his hand. “I don't think I would have had more fun with Diggory or Krum tonight. Or any other night.”

George looked at me smirking. “So did you have fun?”

I laughed nodding. The couple of seventh year students looked at us for a second before turning around. “I had a wonderful evening and you, George,” I pointed a finger towards him. “you were wonderful.”

George stared at me without saying anything for a few seconds. He had a satisfied smile on his face and his eyes were moving from my eyes to my lips. Suddenly he brought his face close to mine and kissed me. It was a small kiss and it didn't last long. But it had stayed on my lips like a tattoo on someone's skin. A golden but small tattoo. I noticed that George's cheeks had turned red to his ears covered in long hair and he seemed eager to have a reaction from me. But all I did was get closer and kiss him more deeply than before. It didn't matter if it was cold and winter or if anyone could see George and Y/N kissing in the courtyard. It was something I wanted to do instinctively when I never did anything instinctively. After years of rational choices, kissing George Weasley was instinctive.

“Do you want to go back to the Great Hall?” George asked after the kiss. “Let's dance a little more and then I'll take you back to the common room.”

I nodded standing up still holding his hand. “What a night,” I said smiling and shaking my head.

“And you haven't seen anything yet, love,” said George walking and hugging me. “George Weasley can do better! Ask me for the moon and I'll bring you the entire galaxy. We still have time, after all!”

And that was true. We still had time. We were young and free and at the start of something which we would later call love. But in that moment it was still too soon. Two young students not knowing what is that feeling when you hang from the lips of the person you like and wait for their proposal or opinion, when you think that no sad moment can ever get over this happy moment. Because that person is your happy moment. And George Weasley became all of my moments.

#Harry Potter imagines #Harry Potter #george weasley imagine #george weasley imagines #george weasley #fred weasley #fred weasley imagines #george weasley headcanon #george weasley one shot #Hogwarts #hermione granger #Ron Weasley #ginny Weasley #yule ball #george weasley fanfiction #george weasley x reader #george weasley fanfic #fred and george weasley #cedric diggory #goblet of fire #Harry Potter and the goblet of fire #golden trio #marauders #fred weasley fanfic #fred weasley x reader #fred weasley fanfiction #srivsblk #george weasley yule ball #weasley twins #weasley family

[nakachuchu]

Gravitate | Bokuto Kotaro + Akaashi Keiji

SYNOPSIS: You're annoyed Akaashi is smarter than you and confused at the man hiding in a cabinet.

READER: gender neutral

WORDS: 2670

WRITTEN: 03/11/2021

NOTES: @babierin suggested enemies to lovers in general, but that's the one trope I don't like but I ended up coming up with this and it's the longest thing I've ever written on Tumblr as of today. If you squint, the way they get together is totally realistic lol

You did your best in your studies in order to get good grades. Your parents drilled it into your head that if you got terrible grades, you'd end up homeless.

Even though you were now a teenager and knew that they were exaggerating, it was still a possibility, so you continued to study hard.

You didn't have to be ranked number one at Fukurōdani, but having a goal kept you occupied, even though it messed with your mental health and sleep schedule.

Another factor that messed with you getting number one was Akaashi Keiji. He was smart and the two of you often switched between first and second place.

It annoyed you. It made you feel inferior—as if your hard work had been for nothing. But because you were a sensible person, you were sure he was working hard for number one as well, but you wanted to be first.

Fukurōdani sent out monthly scores of each subject, and you usually ranked first in math and science, while Akaashi usually beat you in English and history.

You occasionally stayed after school to study since being at home with your parents hovering around you stressed you out.

Akaashi was usually on your mind. He was attractive, yes, and on top of being smart, he was an athlete. It made you feel even more inferior because you weren't an athlete. You didn't have anything rigorous that took up your time after school and on weekends. All you did was study.

You sighed as you walked into the science room to finish up a lab alone. You wanted everything to be precise, so when it came to labs, you were always the last person to turn the paper and data in.

Your teacher entrusted you with his classroom since he knew what a good and trustworthy student you were. Plus, the janitor was on campus in case anything happened.

You walked to the sink to wash your hands. Once you were finished, you looked around for something to dry your hands with.

You didn't see any paper towels or clean rags so you bent down to the cabinet underneath the sink and opened it.

"WHAT THE F—"

You fell onto your butt at the person hiding inside the cabinet. He looked at you, equally as shocked and frightened.

"Bo-Bokuto? What are you doing in there?" you asked.

He was your classmate in math and was in your year, so you knew him. Plus, he was often the talk of the school because of the volleyball team and girls having an interest in him.

He sniffled. "Nothing."

"How did you even fit in there?" you asked. "Are you stuck? Should I get help? What about Akaashi?"

You weren't an idiot. You knew Bokuto rarely went anywhere without his best friend, and to see either one without the other was very rare.

Bokuto pouted and shoved his face between his knees, ignoring your question.

You sat on the floor, blinking and waiting for an answer. He clearly didn't want to talk, so you were forced to move past it.

"Are there any paper towels in there?" you asked.

He reached behind him, angling his arm at what looked like an uncomfortable position, and grabbed a paper roll for you.

You took it from his hands and got up from the floor to wash your hands again, then dried them.

"Um—thank you," you said as you leaned your body to the side to peer into the dark cabinet. "Should I... Should I close it?"

He shook his head between his knees, so you left the door open for him and put your goggles on, occasionally checking on him while you finished up your lab.

He was supposed to be in practice at this time, so you were fairly certain that something must have happened during practice since he wasn't wearing his uniform, instead opting for loose clothes.

Once you were finished and began to throw away the materials in the correct bins and clean the tubes and table, you could hear Bokuto bumping into the cabinet as he wrangled his body out.

You waited for him to crawl out of the cabinet before walking to the sink to wash your hands and dry them.

"Are you feeling better?" you asked.

He nodded.

You had never seen him so quiet before. It was a bit unsettling and you weren't the type of person to leave someone alone when they were upset.

"Um—Are you thirsty? I can get you something." When he didn't answer, you added, "Or we could go together? I'm done with my lab here anyway."

He nodded and you grabbed your school bag, freezing for a moment when he grabbed the hem of your sweater. You quickly shook off your shock and continued walking, allowing him to hold onto your sweater.

You led him to a vending machine outside and got water for him since you weren't sure what he liked and that was the safest option.

The two of you sat on a bench outside, enjoying the cool air. He opened the water and drank from it while you held a can of warm coffee as a hand-warmer.

"Don't you have to go back to practice?"

He pouted.

"Right. What made you so upset?"

"Akaashi," he mumbled.

You let out a sigh of relief. That was the first thing he said to you since you found him in the cabinet.

"Did he do something?"

"He yelled at me."

You didn't see Akaashi as the type to yell at someone. He was usually very calm, so Bokuto must have done something.

"How come?" you asked.

"He said I was being too loud—that I was annoying."

"Did he apologize?"

"I ran away," said Bokuto.

"Well, maybe if you go back now, he'll apologize and the two of you can make up. I don't mean for this to be rude, but it's odd when you two aren't together. You guys are best friends, right?"

He nodded and took in a deep breath. "You're right, Y/N! I'll go back now. Thanks!"

He had a bright smile on his face, completely contrasting with his sullen expression a few seconds ago. He quickly got up from the bench and ran away with the water, leaving you alone on the bench with a warm can of coffee between your hands. You stared after him in confusion.

"How'd he know my name?" you mumbled.

He never once interacted with you before and you didn't introduce yourself to him, so he couldn't have known your name. You were supposed to be a background character to him.

The next day during break, you were reviewing the notes you took in class when a loud voice called out for you.

"Y/N!"

You looked up, startled, to see Bokuto waving to you through the door. You glanced around and slowly waved at him. He beckoned for you to come over, so you did.

Once you were by the threshold, you noticed Akaashi was there. The two of you locked eyes before you averted them to look at Bokuto instead.

You felt self-conscious with how much taller the two of them were and how good they looked in their school uniforms.

"Did you need something?" you asked.

Bokuto grinned. "I wanted to say thanks for yesterday."

"Oh, it's nothing. I'm guessing you two made up."

"Yeah!"

Akaashi nodded and held out a can of coffee to you. You glanced at him and took it from his hand, noticing his slender fingers.

"Bokuto noticed you got this brand yesterday," said Akaashi.

You mainly got it as a hand-warmer, but you didn't mind drinking coffee.

"Thank you," you said. "You didn't have to."

"He told me you took care of him, so it's the least we could do," Akaashi explained.

You nodded. "Right. Is that all?"

Bokuto and Akaashi glanced at each other before leaning in. Your eyes darted between the two, noticing how close they were to you.

"Bokuto likes you a lot," said Akaashi.

"Huh?"

"You're really pretty, Y/N," said Bokuto with a grin. "Come to rooftop during lunch. We'll be there!"

Akaashi leaned away and tugged on his sleeve to give you some space. Bokuto leaned away from you after smiling at Akaashi.

"If you don't, it's fine, but Bokuto will be sad if you don't," said Akaashi. "Let's go. Class is starting soon.

"Okay, okay. See you later, Y/N!" Bokuto exclaimed as he walked after Akaashi.

You blinked after the two, heart racing and completely confused.

Class seemed to pass by slowly today. You usually forced yourself to listen to the teacher in order to take notes, but Bokuto's confession was taking up your mind.

When class was over, you quietly took your time going up to the rooftop. You didn't want to first and have to wait for them. Plus, you were so nervous, your legs wouldn't properly move and you had to stop walking on the stairs for a minute to calm your heart.

The door to the rooftop creaked open and you poked your head out to see if they were there. Your heart beat rapidly as Bokuto and Akaashi turned to look at you.

You opened the door further and walked onto the rooftop. You twiddled your thumbs together behind your back as you approached them.

"Hi," you said.

Bokuto grinned. "Hi, Y/N!"

"He wants to date you," said Akaashi. "I don't mind either."

"You don't mind?" you questioned. "I'm sorry. I mean, I just met you two officially. I'm not the type of person to easily date someone, or date in general, actually."

Bokuto looked down at Akaashi and the two had a silent conversation with each other.

"All right!" Bokuto exclaimed, making you flinch in surprise.

He wrapped an arm around Akaashi's shoulders and guided his head to rest on his chest. Akaashi didn't seem to mind as he stared at you.

"Keiji and I are dating," he said.

"H-Huh? Congratulations? What does this have to do with me?"

"We're an open relationship and we both like you," Akaashi explained.

"Both like? You both like me?" you asked. You guys aren't wasting my time, right? This isn't a joke? Because I could be studying right now."

Akaashi chuckled. "I could be too."

You puffed out your cheeks, just now remembering that he was your rival. It was hard to dislike him when he was so attractive and respectful.

"I'll think about it," you said. "This isn't exactly normal for me."

"Don't tell anyone we're dating. We told you because we trust you," said Akaashi.

You nodded. "My lips are sealed. I'm going to go back to my classroom now."

"We'll walk you!" Bokuto exclaimed, sliding his arm off Akaashi to walk over to you.

You had to tilt your head up the closer he got to you. You weren't sure if the two of them walking with you was such a good idea because of how much attention they got.

"Don't bother her," Akaashi scolded, making Bokuto pout. "We'll see you later, Y/N."

You nodded and bowed to them before scurrying away. You wished you didn't glance over your shoulder as the door closed. The sight of the two men kissing was something that would keep you up at night.

Neither Akaashi or Bokuto bothered you in the following week. You appreciated that since studying and retaining information was difficult because of them.

You found yourself thinking about the kiss they shared on the rooftop whenever you took a break from studying. You had to keep your mind occupied so that you wouldn't think about it.

Currently, you were in science class—the very same room where Bokuto hid in a cabinet. The class was almost over and everyone was cleaning up their materials.

"Y/N."

You looked up from washing your hands to see Akaashi. You swore this cabinet and sink was haunting you.

"You're smart."

"Thank you," you replied.

"Care to study with me after school? I don't have practice."

"Oh, yeah, sure."

You were certain there wasn't a catch. He seemed like a gentleman and was always there to reign Bokuto back.

"My house is close to the school, so we can walk there together," he said.

"Sounds good."

He briefly smiled at you before moving past you to wash his hands.

Your heart was beating fast for no reason. It was just studying. At least, you hoped it was.

He waited for you by the entrance of the school after school and the two of you walked together to his house.

His room was exceptionally clean for a boy, but it made sense to you. He pulled out a table from under his bed and extended it.

"Could you help me with math? I can quiz you on history," he said.

The fact that he knew which subjects you didn't rank first in made you want to hit him, even though he didn't do anything wrong.

You nodded, and the two of you sat down, taking out your notebooks and supplies.

Studying with Akaashi was quite enjoyable. He made things easy to understand but didn't treat you like you were inferior. In return, you did your best to explain math both verbally and visually.

"I hope you're considering our offer seriously," said Akaashi, interrupting your train of thought.

You played with the pencil in your hand. "I am. Kind of. It's just hard for me to wrap my head around. Neither of you ever talked to me to know me well."

"That's true, but just because we never talked to you, doesn't mean we never talked about you," he retorted. "I talked about you a lot to Bokuto."

"What'd you say?"

"How I'm never ranked first in math or science because of you. It was irksome, but because of that, I started paying more attention to you. Bokuto noticed and got a bid pouty, but then started to notice you too. You're really pretty and noticeable, Y/N. You just don't notice it. You'd always pass by us during breaks and our eyes naturally gravitated to you. You never even spared us a glance."

"Oh. Sorry," you mumbled. "I'm usually thinking about whatever I just learned."

"I know. You never watch where you're going because of that. We once saw you run into a door."

You winced. "You saw that? That's so embarrassing."

"It was cute. So, about our offer..."

He looked so serious now that you couldn't look away from him despite your fast heartbeat and flushed face.

"I've never dated someone before, let alone two people at the same time, but I'm willing to try. I think you two are...interesting. Besides, I thought about you a lot too. You're my rival, after all."

You did think about Akaashi a lot. He was always on your mind, even though it was mainly about how smart he was and how he always bested you.

"What about me?"

The closet door slid open and you let out a scream when Bokuto's body came wiggling out.

"Sorry, he thought it was unfair I got you all to myself," said Akaashi with an apologetic expression.

"Do you like me too?" Bokuto questioned as he walked over to you and knelt in front of you, placing his face into his hands.

"Well, yeah, I guess so. You're cute like a puppy," you answered.

He grinned. "You're cute too!"

You squealed as he tackled you to the floor, wrapping his arms around you for a tight hug. Akaashi wrapped his hand around the table, making sure you didn't hit your head on the edge. Bokuto had a similar idea as he placed his hand on the back of your head so that wouldn't hit the floor.

Akaashi smiled. "I'll get some drinks and snacks."

"You're going to leave me here?" you called out as Bokuto nuzzled his cheek against yours.

"You'll have to get used to it, Y/N. Kotaro's a touchy person."

#haikyu x reader #Bokuto Kotaro x reader #Akaashi Keiji x reader #sfw

[roll-da-credits]

Lycoris Radiata Pt. 2 -Deku x Reader-

Inspired by the piano piece, "Lycoris Radiata," Written by Spikes, played by MusicalBasics.

Highly recommend listening to it whilst reading.

[1] [2] [3]

Word Count: 1.7k

When a childhood love shows up after being lost to time, it's unnerving to be presented by something so familiar yet different. Deku lost to his own love and presented with the stresses of life and unrequited love, it isn't easy to see the world with an unbiased gaze.

!WARNING!

(This is for the entire series and not just this part)

BIG TW for death, suicide, abuse,

Minor TW for death imagery, toxic relationship, toxic friendship, toxic shit all around

A/n: I hope all of my little details are noticed by you guys because it did take a long time to take into consideration all of the details, I hope you enjoy this.

After reuniting with you in that park, Deku found himself longing to hang out with you even more. Longing to hear your stories and longing to tell you his adventure as a pro. So, that’s exactly what he did.

Every time he had an off-day or a patrol near where you worked or resided. He would always stop by, say hello, catch up, talk about your day.

On not so rare occasions he’d also meet your boyfriend at the same place. When questioned about it he realized your boyfriend worked at the same place you did. It wasn’t very odd to him so he simply laughed it off and considered how lucky you were to be in the same place as your loved one very often.

“There was also this one time where they tripped and spilled the coffee on another barista! It was hilarious!!!” Your boyfriend laughed out loud behind the display of pastries, chatting with Deku.

You looked away rather quickly after he talked about that moment, “Are you ok Y/n?” Deku queried. “Ah they’re fine, they’re just embarrassed. I mean who wouldn’t be, it was their first day.”

Deku grinned and shook his head slightly, reminiscing about all the times he’s embarrassed himself with you in front of people or embarrassed himself in front of you. He smiled at it, without realizing his gaze slowly becoming pinker. Pinker with adoration and love for you.

After all these years, you still held the same grace in his eyes. Of course, you changed a little bit, people change over time. But to him, the best parts of you still remained. You were still the perfect person he would’ve loved to spend his entire life with.

He quickly darted his eyes away from your form making another cup of coffee for a customer, realizing the fact that your boyfriend had gone quiet. Most likely because of the fact Deku was staring at his lover.

“I’m sorry I blanked out,” Deku tried his best to apologize, “What were you saying again?”

For a split second Deku could feel rage beneath your boyfriend’s eyes, it was expected of course. No one would want their significant other to be stared at.

But just as quickly as that rage rose, your boyfriend switched the topics and went back to his chipper move. Though from his already pink-tinted eyes, Deku missed the way his hand gripped the metal prongs used to get the pastries, a little bit tighter.

The next day he came over to the café you worked at, and unlike usual you didn’t greet him from behind the counter. You stayed focus on your work.

Deku couldn’t help but stare once again at your adorable focusing form. Every time he looked at you, though he has yet to come to terms with it, everything else in the room disappears. His eyes, mind, soul, body, and heart all focus on you.

“You must really like our stuff huh?” Your boyfriend interrupted his train of thought and Deku had to mentally scold himself for staring once again.

You also seemed to snap out of your trance and locked eyes with him, you offered him a small smile before rushing back to take the orders of other customers.

Deku, like he would always every other day, ordered his usual. Talked a little bit with your boyfriend, liking him more and more by the day. Then leaving after he had finished his favorite red velvet cupcake you made and morning coffee, oddly enough without talking to you the entire day.

It wasn’t until the next week would he be able to come to your café again, exhausted, tired, and drained.

The week on his last trip to your café swamped him with terribly mentally draining missions and failures. He had failed to rescue the final person from being trapped underneath rubble, after saving her entire family, before he could run in the rubble fell. Instantly killing the person.

A sprout of red blood spilled from her body as her family surrounded it and cried. Deku knelt down and faced the family, his hands stained red from the blood on the floor. He cried and apologized over and over again.

The family stopped his apologies and reassured him it was not his fault.

After clearing out the rubble, the family went over to Deku and invited him to a burial ceremony that exact night. Since their Islamic tradition pushed them to bury the body as soon as possible.

Deku obviously accepted, realizing this could be a way to get through with his own feelings. As if reminding him that people die and that he couldn’t save everyone.

The ceremony was held in a gravesite extremely close to your café, a graveyard he didn’t even notice when visiting your café. To him, the entire thing ended in a flash and after once again apologizing to the entire large family gathered there. He decided to stay and apologize to the girl he couldn’t save.

He felt a foreboding sense of fear of this ever happening again. She was in the wrong situation and no one could’ve saved her if they wanted to save the entire family as well. From the corner of his eye, he saw a beautiful red flower blooming and immediately thought of you.

To him, it was extremely odd to find a flower blooming in a graveyard but he thought it was fitting. The flower had long red petals that curved downwards, red strings of stigma protruding out holding pollen on its tips. He didn’t know what the plant was, nor did he care honestly, he thought it was an incredibly beautiful gem to grow wildly in a graveyard.

Deku stood and plucked a few of them, putting some on the girl’s grave and leaving with a few to bring to you.

Though he found himself unable to go to your café since once more he was swamped with work. He placed the flowers in water, but they seemed to die rather quickly. So, he threw it out before he got the chance to give it to you.

At long last, he was able to visit you. He was rather ecstatic when he saw that your boyfriend was absent from his work. Meaning during your break, he got to have you for himself.

Obviously, he was exhausted and drained, though that would never stop him from babbling nonsense to you. Which he noticed you were enjoying yourself, but you seemed a bit more fidgety than usual. He asked you what was wrong, only to have you brush it off.

He found it slightly frustrating that despite how close you were together, you didn’t trust him enough yet to tell him how you felt. Then the topic of what he did the last week came up.

Deku told you all about the girl he couldn’t save and the flower he found. He asked if you knew the flower and if you could make it bloom right in front of both of you with your quirk. You laughed at his rather childish request but obliged.

“Of course I can silly.” You concentrated your mind to the middle of the table and slowly the same red flower erupted from the middle of the table.

Deku grinned ear to ear and complimented you on your quirk. “You’re incredible as always. I’ve always wanted to ask you so many questions about your quirk but I don’t really think I have the time right now since I have to patrol very soon. But OH do you know what flower this is by the way? I know you love red flowers and I just like the way it looks and how it’s so pretty growing in a place where dead things are you know like in a gra-”

Your sweet laughed cut his rambling short. “Izuku, breathe, I see you still ramble a lot. No, I don’t really know what flower it is, I've just seen it from animes.”

Before Deku could prod you further about the anatomy of the plant or if you could find the flower’s name for him. You quickly turned the subject to a different thing. Letting the spider-like flower in the middle of the table die out rather slowly.

“Hey Izuku, I’ve been wanting to ask.” Deku hummed in reply, “What do you think of my boy-”

But a shriek of pain suddenly filled the café. Deku’s hero instincts caused him to stand up and run immediately to the source. Everything in his eyes went in slow motion.

A woman froze in her spot as a truck rammed against her, just mere inches from Deku’s grasps. The woman immediately got run over just as the driver pressed the breaks.

Deku knelt down on her bleeding body, warm pools of red staining his clothes. Yet another life he couldn’t save. He looked around half expecting to see the looks of disappointment in people’s eyes, and yet all he saw was a pity.

After all, he was a hero, he had to be ready to be able to deal with these situations. Even if it meant forcing himself to get used to the red tint on him from all the blood.

~

“Y/n look!” A middle-school Deku urged you to look at his hand, a tiny little spider crawled on it. He found the little critter rather adorable.

Yet you found it a little bit more terrifying than him. “How could you hold it so calmly Izuku!!!” You almost shrieked in horror as he tried to pass the spider over to you.

He laughed and continued observing the spider. “Where did you find it anyways??? There are barely any spiders here.” You questioned him further.

Deku merely shrugged, “I found it on that tree, it had pretty red flowers I want to give you…” Realizing what he just said his face turned red and quickly backtracked, “Because you got that perfect score in that final test!!! I just wanted to give you a gift and I know how much you liked red flowers and I’m going to go to a separate school very soon. I don’t know where you’re going, but you know I’m going to UA and going to be the number one hero after I graduate. But I wanted to give you a gift and red flowers seem really cute and if I picked them myself it would be even cuter and I know it's weird and I hope you don’t think I’m we-”

His rambling stopped when he felt something warm on his cheek. “It isn’t weird at all Izuku. I think it’s really cute. Also don’t think so much about that kiss. You seemed too lost in thought so I wanted to snap you back to reality.”

Your funny and mischievous ways of toying with him made his heart ache a tiny bit more. He knew you didn’t realize what you were doing to him was making him fall deeper and deeper to the depths of love.

“Anyways put that spider back on the tree, I want to tell you about this guy that I met the other day.”

He closely listened to your rambles about a boy you seemed head over heels for. He just smiled and agreed to everything. He tuned out every time you gushed about him, the ache in his chest growing heavier and heavier.

He had to be selfless.

After all, if he was going to be a hero, he had to be able to control his emotions. Even if that meant pushing down the urge to tell you to be with him instead, deep inside.

#deku angst #izuku midoriya #deku x reader #izuku x reader #midoriya angst #deku fluff #my hero academia #mha #bnha #boku no hero academia #mha x reader #deku x you #izuku midoriya x you #bnha x reader #izuku fanfic #deku fanfiction

[scripttorture]

Hello! I've browsed this blog a bit and came across the idea that torturers often develop mental illness because of their repeated exposure to the violence/trauma of seeing another person in pain, which I'd never considered before. A) Do you believe torturers can therefore be a type of victim as well, depending on the circumstances, and therefore deserving of compassion/therapy? B) Can you point me to more information about this/what kinds of mental illnesses develop in torturers? (1/2)

C) Do you think it's possible for a mass murderer/torturer character to have a realistic, satisfying redemption arc? Do you know any media that's pulled it off believably? Thank you so much for taking the time to read/answer this if you do! And for this excellent resource!

-

The most accessible sources that cover this are O’Mara’s Why Torture Doesn’t Work (good grounding, start with him), Rejali’s Torture and Democracy and the appendices to Fanon’s The Wretched of the Earth where he describes treating two torturers.

 The most current research is about 600 pages of print on demand untranslated French. If you’re fluent in French (I am not and lock down etc has got in the way of me getting this translated) Sironi Comment devient-on tortionnaire?

 Broadly speaking the symptoms appear to be the same as those survivors and witnesses develop.

 And I will go into this in more depth later but keep in mind there is not anywhere near enough research on torturers for us to be entirely sure about most of this. I’m working with the best information we have right now.

 The other two questions are subjective and sort of complicated. By definition a lot of this is going to be my opinion because well that’s what you’re asking for.

 I think we need to be really careful about describing torturers as ‘victims’.

 Yes they’re put in this situation by social structures beyond their control. It is not their fault that they weren’t given training or support in their job. It’s also not their fault that we have this global message that violence is effective or that so many workplaces are unnecessarily pressured/stressful. Most of the time they are drawn in to abusing others because of the social groups and structures within the organisation they join.

 Oversight (with a drive to eradicate torture), funding, training and clear consistent messages about the right way to handle difficult situations would probably prevent most cases of torture.

 This does not change the fact that on an individual level each of them chose to hurt other people.

 Some of them will have made that choice understanding there was a threat to their own safety if they did not. Some of them will have made that choice just because it was what everyone else was doing. Some of them genuinely believe what they did was the ‘right’ decision at the time.

 They still made that choice. And given that we have records of people in similar positions refusing, even when it put them at risk of attack or death, I don’t have a lot of sympathy with the choice torturers made.

 The fact I’m a pacifist factors into this. Consider my biases.

 Torturers typically show a very low understanding of the impact their actions have had on other people.

 They might regret their actions but this is typically framed in a very self-centred way. They usually don’t express more then cursory regard for the victims. They regret it because they’re suffering now, because they have nightmares, because they can’t keep a job. And oh it’s all so unfair.

 I don’t know why this is the case. But it’s a feature Sironi described in interviews about her work. And I’ve seen it over and over again in interviews with torturers.

 Yes torturers suffer. The symptoms they develop are terrible and have a lasting impact on their lives. They typically can’t hold down jobs and struggle to re-integrate into society in any meaningful fashion.

 And yes I believe they should be treated. I believe that anyone with a disease or condition which requires treatment should have access to care and treatment. Whoever they are. Whatever they did.

 I believe that as fellow human beings torturers are entitled to a degree of compassion. When I say that torture and mistreatment are wrong I mean it. My position doesn’t change just because the theoretical victim is a former torturer.

 I do not think that treatment and compassion should be dependant on a person being suitably victimised. For me the only thing it depends on is their need and their humanity. In the literal physical sense of them being a human.

 But we tend to think of ‘victim’ as a simple category that doesn’t overlap with mass murderers.

 And I don’t believe the position of torturers is that simple.

 Especially when so few of them are charged. Torture trials are rare. Convictions are rare. And sentences are short.

 And their victims deserve justice too.

 I feel conflicted about calling torturers ‘victims’ because of this complex reality. And because in fiction we have a tendency to focus on the torturers prioritising their voices over the survivors. I feel like presenting torturers as simple victims of society could risk adding to that.

 For me the focus has always got to be the survivors.

 And I think all of this feeds into how we handle redemption arcs.

 I don’t think that writing redemption arcs for villains, even torturers or mass murderers is ‘wrong’. In fact I think that it can be a really good idea. Showing how toxic the environments these people are in is a good thing. Puncturing the way it’s romanticised is a good thing. And showing a way out of it, even if it’s imagined, is not a bad thing.

 But if we’re going to do that in our stories then I think we need to think about what redemption means and in whose eyes the character is redeemed.

 There’s also a small problem: we don’t really know what recovery for torturers looks like.

 There isn’t enough research on them. Partly because of lack of interest but partly because the low conviction rates means sample sizes are small. We’re talking about a limited number of individuals who are jailed and we can’t really ‘prove’ that individuals who weren’t convicted were torturers. We don’t really know what the long term outcomes are, what treatments might be effective or- Much of anything.

 Studies on torturers are typically based on very small numbers of individuals. (For a long time Fanon’s work was the only example of a mental health professional talking about torturers specifically. He saw two of them.) They are not statistically sound. And a lot of resources were simply journalists or mental health professionals compiling notes on the handful of individuals they talked to.

 Everything I say about torturers is based on things like interviews, a handful of studies that have flaws and anecdotal evidence. Unfortunately as of right now it’s the best we’ve got.

 Personally I don’t think there’s enough research on torture generally. Or enough attempts to collate relevant research from other fields. But that’s a rant for another day.

 Let’s get back to that central question: what does redemption mean?

 I think that it’s pretty easy to write a character changing for the better. You can build up the character’s level of insight into what they’re doing/did over the course of the story. You can show them choosing to stop. You can show them shifting to oppose their former allies.

 But bundled up in the idea of a redemption arc is this: is it enough? And who is it enough for?

 I don’t think survivors should be obliged to forgive former torturers. I also don’t think they’re likely to interact positively.

 I’ve talked about this now and again when asked about the difference between legally defined torture and abuse. Because of the organised and widespread nature of legally defined torture there are usually communities of survivors. And communities that are collectively moving through a recovery process because even those people who weren’t directly attacked are likely to be witnesses, carers and relatives or friends of survivors.

 These things echo down generations.

 Cyprus gained independence from the British in 1960, my father is too young to have any real memory of the violence during the colonial period. But he referenced it in arguments with my English mother during my childhood. There are people throughout China today who won’t buy anything Japanese because of Japanese war crimes there during World War 2. There are people who won’t eat fish from the Black Sea, because the bodies of their ancestors were thrown into that sea during a genocide over a hundred years ago.

 I know that as a both a Greek Cypriot and an English person there are people all over the world who will not want anything to do with me based on what my people have done to theirs. And the fact I wasn’t alive at the time does not really factor into it.

 What I’m trying to illustrate here is that this is much bigger, broader and more complex then individual acts of forgiveness.

 Survivors are a highly varied group of individuals. And each torturer can have thousands or tens of thousands of victims. Expecting each impacted individual, and any witnesses and all their family members and friends, to forgive these people is… let’s say ‘unlikely’.

 So does redemption require forgiveness from the wounded party? Is there any possible action that can atone for the sheer scale of these atrocities?

 If we play a simple number game causing this level of harm can be achieved in months or years, but saving the equivalent number of lives takes decades of skilled, dedicated work. If we look at concepts like wergild or jail as ‘paying your debt to society’ then how do we measure something like torture where the numbers are so big?

 I haven’t seen a piece of fiction seriously tackle these questions. But then again I also haven’t actively looked for that fiction.

 I feel like a lot of fictional redemption arcs judge a character to be sufficiently redeemed based on audience sympathy and the main cast forgiving the character. They don’t typically go on to broaden the scope of the narrative and question whether any one else impacted by the former villain’s actions also sees the character as redeemed.

 One of my stories has a former torturer as a major character and I think they are a sympathetic character in many ways. I think that my readers would empathise with them through a lot of the story (which takes place decades after they stopped torturing).

 They’re a mentor figure to some of the younger cast members. They’ve acted as a protector to them and taught the younger generation a lot about the minority culture they themselves are from. And they do genuinely care about these people that they helped to raise, consistently sacrificing to protect these ‘kids’. (The ‘kids’ are 30s-20s at the time of the story.)

 But they’re also incredibly self centred. They don’t really interact with or have a lot of sympathy for the people they hurt. And while this particular family loves and forgives them society at large views them as a monster. Albeit one that is now leashed.

 Is this a redemption story? Is this character redeemed? I genuinely don’t know. In fact that’s part of my interest in writing the story: trying to work out if there is a point, as this character grows, develops and helps others, when I believe they’ve done ‘enough’.

 I think that redemption means different things for different people. A satisfying redemption story is different for different people. And if we can disagree so strongly about it with much simpler, smaller scale crimes then where does that leave us with torture?

 There isn’t a simple answer or a one-size-fits-all writing solution. There can’t be.

 My approach is to try and use the story to see if I can find an answer. Even if it’s only a limited one. For me the story itself is a forum for exploring human complexity and difficult ethical questions.

 I don’t think we have a good solution for how to deal with these people in reality yet. But I do hold out hope that a good solution is possible. Fiction is an arena where we can safely explore possible solutions.

 I guess in the end I’m not sure if there’s any story or arc that will work for everyone. I don’t think there are any hard rules for writing anything and I don’t think there’s ever a way to please everyone.

 Redemption and forgiveness are complicated topics. I think we do a much better job when we engage with that complexity then when we assume a character just has to do a, b and c in order to achieve it.

 When you consider someone to be truly redeemed is an ethical question that I can’t answer for you. I don’t think I should. The chances are you’ll know when you think your character has done enough.

 Just be open to the fact that it won’t be enough for everyone. Consider reflecting that with the characters, because that can make for truly powerful moments.

 In Midnight’s Children Shiva never forgives Saleem, even though Saleem isn’t responsible for Shiva ‘losing’ his life and family because they were both infants at the time. And damn there are a lot of flaws in the movie adaptation but that scene between them in the jail, when Saleem throws that in Shiva’s face hits hard. It shows us so much about both characters.

 And I think that’s a better way to approach it then trying to figure out if a character is redeemed yet: figuring out how they’ve progressed, how others respond to that progression and why.

 I hope that helps :)

Available on Wordpress.

Disclaimer

#delilahmidnight #writing advice #tw torture #writing torturers #torturers #behaviour of torturers #effect of torture on torturers #effects of torture on society #effects of torture on organisations #responses to torture #societal response to torture #responses to torturers #sironi #redemption arcs #redemption #writing recovery #colonialism #colonial history #legal definition of torture #forgiveness #ethics #ethical debate

[mellometal]

Hey, everyone.

If you saw the post from earlier, I had to delete it. There were things I forgot to discuss and things that didn't get saved into my drafts. Sorry if you have to see this again.

I've been WAITING to talk about Glee. Not in the good way either. There's so much wrong with the show, and it's sickening. Yes, I've watched the show last year. Against my will, but that's because of other people refusing to put on anything else besides Glee. I can say that I hate Glee with my entire being. (My initial reason for hating it was because they covered "SING" by My Chemical Romance and turned it into a slow, patriotic song when it's a song about rebellion. NOTHING about "SING" is patriotic. I hated the show since I first heard about it...for that very reason. I was like thirteen or so at the time when I first heard about Glee? Despite it being out since 2009.

Though it's been over for several years now, it's a show that many people have mixed feelings about. From what I've seen, you either love Glee or you absolutely hate it. There's no in-between that I've seen. (If you can't already tell, I hate the show.)

The show is a literal dumpster fire, the characters are all fucking awful people and all of them are poorly written, the script pisses me off, it literally makes me feel disgusting, and don't even get me started on the covers. Most of the covers aren't that good. A lot of them sound like nails on a chalkboard to me. The pacing of the show makes NO sense in certain areas (like when Blaine was initially made to be a grade above Kurt, but was then changed to be like the same grade as him so he'd stay). It just feels like everyone in the show is either a Mary Sue, a Gary Stu, their whole personality is just that they're from a minority group or they're EDGY AND HARDCORE DELINQUENTS BLEEEEHHHHH, creepy as fuck, bigoted as all hell, or they're just background characters who occasionally have the spotlight.

TW: The following post and any other posts that I'll make about this show contains subject matter that may be triggering for some audiences. It will go into subjects like racism, homophobia, ableism, outing of a person in the LGBT community, bigotry in general, statutory r@pe (between teachers and students), teachers being creepy towards students, mentioned past child m0l3stati0n and invalidation of the victim's trauma, making fun of su1c1d3, making fun of overdose, making fun of drug addiction....a lot of fucked up things.

If anything mentioned above is triggering for you, please feel free to scroll and consume safe media instead. I'd rather have you be safe than to be triggered by anything I'm gonna talk about.

Let's start off easy. The characters. It's easy to tear them apart. At least the most problematic ones.

Rachel, the Main Character™️, is textbook definition of a Mary Sue. Instead of calling her Rachel, I'm gonna call her Mary Sue for the whole post. She's almost completely perfect (like too perfect), her flaws are minor if anything, she gets all the special treatment....you get the picture. When Mary Sue does anything fucked up or she says anything fucked up, it either goes unnoticed, people make up excuses for her being a shitty person, or it gets twisted so it looks like Mary Sue is the hero! (I hate her. So much. I cannot stand her.)

Aaawwww, Mary Sue didn't want some OTHER GIRL (Sunshine) to steal HER spotlight, so she SENT THIS GIRL TO A CRACK HOUSE. A FUCKING CRACK HOUSE, OF ALL PLACES. A PLACE WHERE THIS GIRL COULD HAVE BEEN PUT IN SERIOUS DANGER. THIS GIRL COULD HAVE BEEN SERIOUSLY INJURED AT BEST AND KILLED AT WORST. Yes, I'm aware not all drug houses are the same, but still. It doesn't matter what this girl did. What Sunshine did is irrelevant. It's not okay to send people to strange places where they don't know anyone, and are put in danger, even to the point of either getting injured or killed. But it's okay, because at least it's not an "active" crack house you sent Sunshine to, RIGHT, Mary Sue? You still sent some poor girl to a place where she could have been put in serious danger, even to possibly get injured or killed, all because you didn't want her to steal YOUR spotlight. You fucking disgusting, entitled, bratty cunt. You don't need the spotlight all the time anyway. THAT'S HOW THEATRE WORKS. YOU DON'T ALWAYS GET THE LEAD ROLE. YOU DON'T ALWAYS GET THE ROLE YOU WANT. AND THAT'S OKAY. YOU WORK WITH WHAT YOU GOT. Sincerely, a theatre kid.

There are other fucked up things Mary Sue has done, but this is the one thing I could find anyone talking about. If I remember correctly, she hurt her Gay Best Friend™️ Kurt in some way. All I remember is that Kurt was mad at Mary Sue about something. Mary Sue is annoying as fuck. What else can I say about her?

Next, we have Finn, who's textbook definition of a Gary Stu. I'll call him Gary Stu throughout this post. I hate this fucker too. He's the Main Character's Boyfriend™️, the Hot Quarterback™️, and The Good Guy™️. Yet....he's not a good person. He's treated like he's a good person, but he's really not. His flaws are fairly minor and excused (and any major flaws aren't even talked about much), he's almost completely perfect, and every fucked up thing he does is ignored or is justified in some way. Like how he outed Santana as lesbian in the hallway WITHIN EARSHOT OF EVERYONE. HE DIDN'T EVEN APOLOGIZE FOR THIS.

As a woman who has struggled with her sexuality growing up, this really brought back shit I went through. I "dated" boys when I was younger to cover up the fact that I'm only attracted to other women. I wasn't happy with these guys at all. I acted like I did so nobody would suspect anything. I felt nothing for them, except for in a platonic way. I've been outed twice. Once when I thought I was bisexual with a strong preference for other women (by my dad's girlfriend at the time), and when I came out as lesbian (by my brother). It sucks to be outed. The people who outed me in real life could have put me in danger. They could have made it so I had no place to go back to. They could have had me get hurt. It's a scary feeling. Like, it doesn't matter if you're supportive or if you're in the LGBT community. You don't fucking out people without their explicit permission. You especially don't out people to their abusers or to people they don't trust, let alone out them publicly. That's what happened to me. I don't wish this on anyone.

***By the way, for anyone who's closeted, you're valid, I love you, and I know how it feels to be stuck in the closet. You don't have to come out right now. Come out whenever you're ready to. Whenever it's safe for you to do so.***

Or how about the fact that Gary Stu made fun of Kurt's voice because he's gay? Gary Stu apparently has ✨anger issues✨ and that's pretty much the excuse they use to justify him doing fucked up shit to people.

They treat the characters who are from minority groups (i.e., BIPOC, AAPI, LGBT community, disabled people) like absolute garbage, put them through all this horrific shit, or they put them on a pedestal simply for being in a minority group. The teachers and other school staff are either written to be total bigots (Sue), or they're total pr3dators (Mr. Schue, the school nurse, and another teacher who I can't remember her name off the top of my head).

Sue pretty much only exists to be a poorly written villain who's a bigoted bitch just to be a bigoted bitch. Yes, there were some things she WAS right about (like how "Blurred Lines" wasn't an appropriate song choice for the Glee Club™️, but Mr. Schue The Pr3dator™️ downplayed it). Other than that...that's all I can think of. Because everything else that came out of her mouth was bigoted bullshit. Like these right here, for example:

Or how she drugged the principal, date r@ped him, and blackmailed him?

How about them making a tasteless joke about Sue committing su1c1d3 and having her "overdose" on multivitamin gummies?

DO I NEED TO EXPLAIN HOW FUCKED UP ALL OF THIS IS? I do? Well, first of all, she called people racist, homophobic, ableist, and otherwise disgusting names. She boiled them down to their race, sexual orientation, their disability, and their appearance in general. Second, SHE DRUGGED, BLACKMAILED, AND DATE R@PED SOMEBODY. I don't think I need to explain how that's bad. The evidence is right there. Third, she said she was committing "sue-icide" by overdosing on multivitamin gummies. (Yes, you actually can OD on vitamins in supplement form, and it can cause serious symptoms and even death. Specifically with vitamins A, D, E, and K, and Iron. Vitamins A, D, E, and K are fat-soluble. They're a lot harder to remove from the body. The B vitamins and vitamin C aren't as severe if you do OD on them because they're water-soluble, but still be careful. You can't OD on vitamins and minerals you find in food. If you take supplements, vitamins, etc., only take what's on the bottle.) As someone who has su1c1d@l thoughts on and off, this is extremely insulting. Yes, I do use humor and I joke about my own experiences to cope, but this? Nah. Nothing about this is funny or cute in the slightest. Enough said.

Do I need to explain how fucking terrible it is to make light of a serious topic like this? It was never funny to see Britney Spears' mental health be at that low of a point in 2007. It was never funny to see the abuse the paparazzi inflicted on her. How the fuck was this ever okay? You can dislike Britney Spears all you want, but this was never it.

This is all I have for now. I'll probably make a part two because there are way too many things to talk about.

#mello speaks #glee #i hate this show #tw racism mention #tw date r@pe mention #tw suidice #tw homophobia mention #tw ableism mention #tw drug mention #i literally hate everyone in this show so much #tw pr3dator mention (will dive deep into this in part two) #tw od mention #anti glee

[theoutcastedartist]

No new art really, if you've seen my original post on the MHA amino then you know where this is fucking going. Right down to Angstville because for some reason I'm obsessed with hurting my favorite Goth Jesus. You'd think I'd talk about my "Stain's Redemption" AU first since I've mentioned it but hahahaha

Y o u w e r e w r o n g ;´)

I straight up just copied and pasted my original post because I'm lazy but I REALLY wanted to share this with Tumblr lmao

Warning for (potential) manga spoilersss

Alrighty sinners, Let's get to the post itself then. Shall we?

·············

So let me just address something real quick about how I feel about the latest chapters of the MHA manga:

Seeing Aizawa cry has to be the most heart breaking thing I've seen in MHA (outside of the whole deal with Eri, sweet baby child ;-;)

And I completely FLIPPED when it was revealed that Shirakumo was BASICALLY turned into Kurogiri and just I'M CRYING--Cloud Angel Baby NOOOOOO!!!

They all deserved better than this T-T

Anywho enough about my grieving over fictional characters, let's talk about my AU, inspired by these recent chapters. Note that I'm a terrible writer. I guess this also includes a snippet of what I plan to write for this AU since it transitions from explanation to literature at some point just because I was kinda bored. Imma let you know right now that I'm a shit writer so uuuuh bear with me.

---------

The Reticent AU takes place in an Alternate Universe where Shirakumo is ALIVE and separate from Kurogiri. Instead of Loud Cloud being turned into a Nomu, Eraserhead is turned into one. His appearance for the most part remains the same, minus the scars all over his body, including around the neck, from experimentation.

He barely speaks due to pain he feels when he does talk and has no recollection of his life before being a Nomu, not even his own name. He manages to escape the League of Villains at some point and "befriends" the Hero Killer: Stain, or well more like the other way around (only because I find Stain befriending an emotionless mute to be funny). He finds Stain's views of false hero-hood and admiration for All Might quite contradictory yet amusing and lets him live during their first encounter.

It is rather hard to say whether he is a villain or a vigilante. He'll kill only if necessary but his intentions and motivations are unknown. He despises All Might as the Symbol of Peace. It gives false hope to the people as well as a false sense of security. He found it completely revolting. Aizawa did believe in good people, but All Might isn't one of them in his books. Pretty much considered one only because he's hanging around with Stain.

He never gave himself a name, nor did he care all that much for it, it was Stain who dubbed him with the alias "Reticent", meaning not revealing one's thoughts or feelings readily. He was never one for being open for as long as he could remember.

It's rather fitting, so Reticent keeps the given name.

·············

* I didn't know Shirakumo was tan, not white before I made the art (forgive me)

Oboro Shirakumo A.K.A Loud Cloud is currently the homeroom teacher of our beloved Class 1-A and best friend of our resident screaming banana, Present Mic. They have given up on their dream to start an agency due to the loss of their closest friend from high school. Fifteen years ago when they were still students at UA, Shota Aizawa had gone missing and authorities concluded that he was dead. It was such a heartbreak to Shirakumo and Yamada, that hurt never fully healed.

Shirakumo is still a friendly and nurturing spirit at heart, but not as open with his feelings anymore. He's more reserved with his thoughts and feelings. He's a reticent person.

He takes an instant liking to Ejirou Kirishima and Hitoshi Shinso. Kirishima's friendship with the explosive Katsuki Bakugou reminds him of his friendship with Shota. Their personalities seemed so different, yet their bond had remained solid and strong. As for Shinso, the purple haired teen reminded him of his old friend. He could see the growing potential in these two and takes them both under his wing. The three of them train together outside of school and the Kirishima and Shinso form a close friendship with each other along with their sensei. Both children are like sons to Shirakumo, he thinks that Shota would like them too if he were still here.

·············

So... Izuku Midoriya, the "villain magnet" of class 1-A, ended up finding himself standing face-to-face with the Hero Killer: Stain and... his partner? The news never reported anything on him having a partner. How strange. Either Stain's partner is a very recent addition or this guy was really good at covering his own tracks.

"Stain, leave them be. They are just mere children. Killing them would serve no purpose to your cause. I wouldn't waste your time with Native either. "

Midoriya grimaced at the sore and raspy voice. It sounded painful, but he could hear the underlying threat. The Hero Killer sighed and backed off from Iida's paralyzed body.

The two villains left before Todoroki had arrived.

"I think that's the first time I've ever seen you smile."

Agakuro sat down next to Reticent, who was currently petting a stray cat, and offered him some fruit. The smaller man hummed quietly and took a few slices of apple. Both men sat quietly with the soft purring of the stray.

"I've been meaning to ask, what is your quirk exactly? You can erase quirks, but you can also manipulate basic elements and the blood in people's bodies."

Reticent signed, 'I have more than one.'

"More than one quirk?" Stain cocked an eyebrow.

Reticent nodded and quietly spoke, "Nomu."

"I've heard about their appearances here in Hosu. They are these large looking creatures with their brains exposed. You sure as hell don't look like one of 'em." Agakuro mused as he chewed on some cantaloupe. His friend was making his signals again.

I was suppose to be a more perfected Nomu. All for One took care of my progress himself.'

"Is that why you have so many..."

'Yes.'

·············

"Principal Nezu?" Shirakumo and Yamada stood in the white creature's office. Both men wondering why they were called to see him.

"Ah Loud Cloud and Present Mic! I apologize for pulling you out of your classes, but it seems you both are being called to assist Gran Torino with something he found." Nezu explained. The two men in the room looked at each other confused.

"What does he need us for?"

"Well it seems that they have another one of those Nomus in custody. I think you may remember the name Shota Aizawa?"

·············

Shirakumo was BEYOND annoyed about the situation. It must be a mistake. Their old friend was not some gruesome quirk experiment accompanying the Hero Killer. Shota Aizawa wanted to be a hero, despite feeling that he was inadequate for such due to the nature of his quirk. It has to be a mistake.

"How much longer-"

"Calm down will you! I'm frustrated about this too. There's no way it could be him, but... who knows."

They arrived at the police station withing a few minutes and walk inside. They see Gran Torino standing there waiting for them. They follow him to where Tsukauchi is finishing up with questioning the person inside. Looking through the window, Shirakumo and Yamada's eyes widen with disbelief. The other person looked just like...

"Ah Present Mic, Loud Cloud. Thank you for arriving on such short notice. I know you are both very busy men."

The two Pro-Heros turn to the detective as he stepped out of the interrogation room. Present Mic appeared alarmed and Shirakumo just looked... mad.

"Well it appears that he doesn't remember anything before being experimented on. We have a case of amnesia on our hands."

Shirakumo practically growled,"Experimented on? What the hell are you going on about detective!?" Why was Tsukauchi being so damn vague?

"That man in there is indeed Shota Aizawa. His base quirk of Erasure is still there and DNA results confirm this. From what I'm gathering, fifteen years ago he was kidnapped and had been subjected to illegal drug testing as well as having multiple quirks forced into his body. He's a more sophisticated Nomu it seems."

"More 'sophisticated'? What stopped him from having brains popping out of his skull like all the others we've seen?" The voice hero questioned. Something wasn't adding up here.

"All for One..."

The other three men became tense.

"Isn't... Isn't that the villain All Might fought at Kamino Ward?"

"According to him, it seems that All for One was the one who did this to him personally, there was extra care in your friend's 'recreation'. As to what his added quirks are, we're not sure yet of what they are or even of how many."

Gran Torino turned to the younger men,"We were hoping that you two would talk to him. Maybe to help trigger any memories from before his disappearance."

"So what? You think the 'power of friendship' is going to magically bring back his memories?" Shirakumo scoffed at how ridiculous that would actually be.

"No, but miracles do happen. I've seen many things during my time. They are rare, but they happen."

"Shirakumo," Present Mic started, "if there is even a slim possibility of getting Sho's memories back, shouldn't we at least try? For him?"

Shirakumo sighed at his words, "Fine. For Shota's sake."

The two younger men walk inside.

--------

"Shota?"

'Who were they talking about? Is that his name?'

After the detective had left the room, two other men had walked in. He assumed they were Pros based on the costumes. No normal person dressed in THAT much leather (referring to Present Mic).

"Do you... remember us, Shota? Hizashi and I?"

It looks like they ARE talking to him. He shook his head no. This was the first time he has seen these two men. The way they were looking at him made him uncomfortable.

"Sho...ta? Is... that my name?"

The two men standing winced at his croaking voice. In all honesty, he would sign, but he had no clue if these two even knew sign language. So he just resorted to talking.

"Do you remember your own name?"

"No."

"Do you... remember us?"

The raven haired man shook his head, 'No.'

"Is... Shota my name? Do you know me? I'm sorry I- I'm just... so confused."

His voice was so raspy and weak. Black hair covered the scar under his eye. Hizashi and Oboro wore sad looks on their faces at the sound. The taller of the two, Oboro, knelt down by the man's knees.

"Yes. We do know you. Your name is Shota Aizawa. You were once a member of UA's class 2-A about fifteen years ago." Oboro started as he gently pried one of Shota's hands from the yellow blanket the officers gave him. His arm was covered in scars... like his legs. God only knows what they did to him all those years. Hizashi just observed their movements, unsure of what to do he added on to what Shirakumo said.

"You love cats and taking naps, you were the most rational one out of the three of us. All three of us had dreams of starting an agency together..."

The two pro-heros continued talking for what felt like hours. Shota listened to every word as they recounted their old adventures from highschool. Maybe with enough luck, they could help Shota get him memory back. Shirakumo was starting to think that the raven wasn't ever getting his old memories back until...

"Sushi... I- We had a cat named Sushi?"

Hizashi had flung himself so fast to Shota as he held onto him tightly and cried. Shirakumo also had a tear-streaked face, but he held a blinding smile as he watched Shota awkwardly pat the blond's back.

Miracles do happen.

More of this angst shit coming soon ;)

#shirakumo #Oboro Shirakumo #MHA Vigilantes #Shouta Aizawa #Nomu Aizawa #MHA AU #My Hero Academia #bnha #boku no hero academia #digital art #spoilers #manga spoilers #kinda spoilers #Tsukauchi #Hero Killer: Stain #Agakuro Chizome #Eraserhead #Present Mic #Gran Torino #My art #AU art #TheOutcastedArtist's art

[creepy-crawley-crowley]

Naive - Crowley X Angel Female Reader

This was requested, and it was requested byyyyy: @adela-topaz-caelon

My lil request is a Crowley x Angel Reader where said Angel is an angel who was booted out of heaven because she's vaguely out of character for an angel, but is definitely one, and often helps the two men and they blatantly love each other but don't know, and Aziraphale is so tired of it, because he's noticed it since the beginning, and he just had enough. I don't mind if it's fluffy or smutty, or both, if you decide to take it on. I just would love your writing on this 😊

One: I FUCKING LOVE THIS REQUEST SO MUCH PLEASE SEND MORE I BEG YOU

Two: Oblivious but in love idiots are the best idiots haha

Warnings: uh, spicy at the end but it isn't full smut because I won't write full on smut like the furthest I will go is clothes removal you can imagine the rest.

You all know the drill, right? Gimme a shout if you wanna be on the taglist, too.

"Oh my, they are...hopeless! Oblivious! Absolutely...agh! Fools in love, that's what they are...ugh." Aziraphale groaned. He was pacing in the back room of his bookshop, fretting about his two closest friends.

Now, the context of this situation: Crowley, a demon, Aziraphale's best friend, is hopelessly in love with Y/N, an Angel, also Aziraphale's best friend. She's also hopelessly in love with Crowley. Why is Aziraphale so annoyed? Because they're so obvious! But yet neither of them seem to notice.

See, it all started at the start, in the Garden Of Eden. Aziraphale was stood on the wall, watching Adam and Eve, yada yada, and Y/N was with him. Y/N was...unique. She'd been kicked out of heaven for being...out of character. Hadn't fallen, though, not really, much to Aziraphale's delight.

And then Crowley came along. He slithered up the wall, and stood beside the two Angels. He knew instantly who Aziraphale was, but who was that? Who was the other one? The thing that confused him most, though, was that Y/N's wings were a mix of black and white.

Was she fallen? Kinda. Was she a Demon? No. An Angel? Yes.

Crowley felt his confusion grow by the minute.

In fact, he was intrigued. He was going to get to know this stranger, whatever it took.

The next time the two really met was in Paris. Aziraphale had gotten himself into a spot of trouble, and Y/N had seeked Crowley out, and dragged him to Paris. Aziraphale, after being set free, wandered off, probably to get food. Perhaps some crêpes.

This left Y/N and Crowley to talk. And talk they did. They'd met many, many times before Paris, obviously, but it had been a while since they'd had a proper chat...3000 years, give or take.

Aziraphale thinks that this moment is when Crowley realised how hopelessly in love he was with Y/N. Aziraphale could see it on his face, they way he looked at Y/N with gentle eyes from behind black glasses. Crowley denied it whenever the subject was brought up. "We're just friends!" He would protest, scrunching his face up in faux disgust.

Or maybe he had fell in love when Y/N had ran off after a unicorn, and returned riding it, smiling as if she had just won the lottery, although that didn't exist then. In fact, that occurred during the Noah's Ark problem.

Aziraphale was a being of love. He knew love when he saw it. He saw the love in shared glances when they thought nobody was looking, he saw the love in the way they spoke to each other, he saw the love in the tiny touches they shared. He saw it all.

He thinks that Y/N fell for Crowley when he saved his books after blowing the church up. Not that it was his fault...kinda. Anyway, Y/N had flown in on trembling wings, having seen the bomb go down, and knowing who was there. She had literally tackled both of them in a hug, engulfing them with her wings too.

"You idiots! You stupid, stupid idiots!" She had yelled. "I can't believe - who made the bomb fall?" She seethed, and Crowley had sheepishly raised a hand, and she had glared that him for a few moments, before her gaze softened, and she smiled, yet again hugging the Demon.

Or perhaps she had fallen for him in Rome.

Don't even get Aziraphale started on the 80's. They were at their worst then, Crowley was trying to hide his obvious feelings, and so was Y/N, but they did terribly, and only worsened the situation, because they both most certainly did not get drunk, and certainly did not drunkenly make out. (They did.)

Yeah, that never happened, as far as Aziraphale thought they knew. But Aziraphale knew, of course he did. That was one image he couldn't erase.

And then there was the 90's. They weren't so bad, actually, Aziraphale had decided. They had fallen out after an argument about Crowley and his need for holy water. Y/N had assumed the worst upon being told.

"You what? Aziraphale gave you holy water?" She had screamed at Crowley, wings out, and her eyes were narrowed to the point that they were mere slits. Crowley had nodded, slightly frightened by Y/N's reaction. "Crowley, you can't have holy water! You know what it'll do to you! It'll...It'll destroy you! Or is that why you wanted it? An easy way out?" And as soon as the words had left her mouth, Crowley had reacted.

Aziraphale shivered at the memory. It hadn't been pretty, actually. Crowley had accidentally burnt a few books in his momentary anger, although as soon as Y/N had left, he regretted it, turning to face Aziraphale, his golden eyes wide, looking rather shocked.

They ignored each other for seven years, which had mildly impressed Aziraphale, who hadn't thought they'd even be able to stay away from each other for a week. But no, both of them were even more stubborn than a mule, and boy oh boy, could they hold grudges.

They managed to fix things in '99, when Y/N had been in the bookshop. She had had a run in with a few demons, and although she had never revealed what had really happened, it had scared her to the point where she was quivering in the back room of the bookshop, curled up, cocooned in her wings. And that's how Crowley had found her. Originally he'd come in to find Aziraphale, but he had heard gentle sobs from the back room, and went in, curious. Upon finding Y/N he had darted over, closing the bookshop with a snap of his fingers as he fell to his knees in front of her.

Not realising it was Crowley, Y/N had scuttled away, backed into the corner, trembling. Crowley was confused, that was for sure, but more than anything he was concerned for his friend.

"Y/N? Y/N what's wrong?" He had asked softly, sitting in front of her. Y/N had looked up with bloodshot eyes, peeking out from behind her black and white wings, and she had flinched slightly. "What happened?" He repeated, removing his glasses. Y/N had shook her head, and Crowley had frowned.

"There were some demons." Y/N had whispered, so quietly that Crowley could barely hear her. She didn't say any more than that. She had then slowly shuffled forwards, towards Crowley, and wrapped her arms and wings around him, burying her face in Crowley's shoulder, and that's where they stayed for a while.

They went back to their usual antics after that.

Aziraphale was relieved that they were back to normal, but now he was dealing with them dancing around their feelings again, and there was only so much dancing he could take, and he loved dancing...and food.

But now Aziraphale was just about done with them both. He was going to take things into his own hands, and began planning his master plan. There was no way it wouldn't work, right?

So, the next day, he led them both into the back room, and then locked them in there together. He had pinned a note on the door, the side that they'd be able to see, and Crowley ripped it off, reading it, and Y/N witnessed a rather amusing event. Crowley went red, and then sighed, and read it out.

"Hello Crowley and Y/N, this is Aziraphale, and I'm not sorry for locking you both in here. You two need to talk about stuff, and when I think you're done I'll let you out." Crowley read, grumbling, and Y/N chuckled.

"We can sneak out, you know." She stated, and after saying that, she shrunk herself, and wandered out, under the door. Crowley followed.

They snuck out, to the Bentley, and they both got in after returning to their natural sizes.

Aziraphale was state in the back, much to their surprise.

"I knew you'd try to sneak out, you know." He stated, smiling brightly. "This was my plan all along! Now I can talk to you both." He grinned. "You two are the most oblivious people ever, and I have therefore decided that I must do this myself."

Crowley realised what was happening, and hissed. "Aziraphale, don't you dare!" He growled, although there was no real threat. Y/N looked on, merely confused.

"Crowley, do it, otherwise I will." Aziraphale sighed. Crowley turned to face Y/N, and made a strangled noise, one of objection. "You can do it!" Aziraphale encouraged.

"No I can't! I've had...since the Ark to do it! If I could, I would have done it by now, Angel." Crowley managed to say.

"It's okay to be scared, Crowley." Aziraphale said, rather softly. Crowley hissed, almost angrily.

"I'm not scared! I'm just...just..." Crowley's shoulders fell. "I'm not scared. I just don't want to lose anyone."

"Hey, can someone tell me what's going on?" Y/N huffed, folding her arms, mildly annoyed, but confused, and overly curious, as usual. Crowley and Aziraphale looked at her. Aziraphale then looked at Crowley, who shrugged, then sighed.

"Don't...worry. Uh, it's not that important." Crowley smiled. Y/N sighed, knowing he had lied. "Okay, okay, Aziraphale get out, just for a minute." Crowley looked at Aziraphale, who smiled at him, before getting out of the Bentley.

"Y/N, I know it's stupid but there's something I really need to say to you." Crowley started, and his eyebrows fell as he tried to think of what to say. "I know I'm a Demon, and you're an Angel, kinda, and were supposed to be enemies, but there's nothing I could do. I tried to fight it because I didn't want to be like a human." He bit his lip, then removed his glasses, and his golden eyes stared into Y/N's. "I...I uh, how do I say this?" He mumbled. "I...like you? I really like you?" He blurted out, sounding slightly confused. Y/N smiled.

"I mean, it'd be problematic if you didn't." She chuckled, not realising what Crowley mean. The Demon groaned, mildly annoyed by her obliviousness.

"No! That's not what I meant! I meant that I really really like you and how on Earth do I say this? Okay...I don't like you as a friend, I like you as...more?"

Y/N realised what he mean, and her eyes widened, and she suddenly disappeared, leaving Crowley by himself.

Y/N had actually teleported herself inside the bookshop, and she had sat down, near Aziraphale. Aziraphale took notice of her shocked expression, and sat next to her.

Crowley stayed inside his car, groaning loudly, instantly assuming that the worst had happened and that she didn't like him back. That she didn't love him. Crowley growled at the thought. Love. What a useless thing.

"Y/N, my dear, what ever is wrong?" Aziraphale asked, confused. Y/N laughed softly, but as she laughed, she seemed to slowly descend into madness.

"He said he liked me as more as a friend, Zira. More than a friend! What does that even mean?" Y/N snorted, and Aziraphale sighed, glancing outside. Crowley was still sat in his Bentley, but now he was listening to Queen...probably.

"Y/N, it means he wants to...date you, I believe that is the correct modern term." Aziraphale hummed quietly. "It means he loves you. Y/N, I know you love him too. Everyone in Heaven and Hell might as well know, you two are so obvious! You've been dancing around each other for hundreds of years and I am just about done with it! Now go and talk to Crowley before he drives off and goes and does something stupid. Go." Aziraphale explained, and Y/N nodded, and ran back outside, clambering into the car.

"Crowley, let's go home, please." Y/N said, and Crowley raised an eyebrow, but drove anyway. "I don't want to cause a scene in the middle of a street. I have no idea what's going to happen next, Crow, but I'm hoping it's good." Y/N added, and Crowley raised an eyebrow, looking at her.

"Explain." He mumbled, mildly confused.

"Okay, okay...just...get inside first." Y/N said, rushing inside, to Crowley's flat. Crowley simply teleported, and sat on his throne as he waited for Y/N. Y/N ran in, and Crowley smirked slightly. "Okay, Aziraphale had to explain what you meant but I know now and I like you more than a friend too, or as Aziraphale said, love you and I guess he's not wrong." Y/N blurted, and Crowley suddenly coughed, standing up and walking to her. "And you're a really...cool demon too, so, I guess that's a bonus. You're pretty nice-" Y/N continued, and Crowley snarled, automatically darting forwards, and he (though gentler than usual) pushed Y/N against the wall.

"I'm not nice!" He snapped, and Y/N blinked. "I'm...not...nice!" Crowley repeated, through gritted teeth, and then he suddenly felt a gentle hand cup his cheek.

"Huh, Zira wasn't lying when he said you didn't like being called nice." Y/N mumbled, and Crowley didn't miss her eyes quickly flitting from his lips to his eyes. Or glasses, rather. He smirked, and edged slightly closer.

"You knew exactly what you were doing, damn. Little Miss Innocent isn't as pure as she seems." He remarked sarcastically.

"Well, obviously, I was cast out of heaven for a reason." Y/N stated, rather dryly. Crowley snorted, and Y/N smiled, and down her eyes went again, and back up, and Crowley hummed softly. "Are you just gonna stand there then?" Y/N asked, starting to shift slightly so she could get away. Not that she really wanted too, but it worked, because Crowley rolled his eyes, before pressing his lips to hers.

It was everything that Y/N had wished for and more. His lips were soft and gentle against hers, and might have well been puzzle pieces, slotting perfectly against hers. She realised that she could faintly taste wine, ands she smiled into the kiss, hands coming up to wrap around his shoulders, holding him as close as possible. Crowley's glasses were hard against her features, but she didn't mind because, finally, after thousands of years she was getting what she wanted. Crowley pulled away, quickly removing his glasses.

"How long?" He asked quietly, and Y/N smiled, lips still brushing against each other.

"Since Rome." She admitted, and Crowley hummed softly. "What about you, Crow?"

"Since the Ark." He mumbled, and Y/N smiled more, before seeking out his lips again.

Crowley gently held her hips, absentmindedly rubbing circles into her skin with his thumbs. "I love you too." He whispered, and Y/N nodded slightly, playing with the ends of Crowley's red hair. She connected their lips again, a little more force, a bit more want, and lot more need and Crowley knew where this was leading but he didn't mind. Besides, he was a demon, he was supposed to sin.

So he went along with it, revelling in the moment, and he unintentionally let Y/N take the lead. But only for now, he thought to himself. But he was still a Demon, and still decided to tease Y/N a little, his hands sometimes moving a little lower than they should've.

Y/N's only reaction was to huff, and gently bite his lip, which would cause Crowley to gasp, and allowed Y/N to have her way, not that Crowley minded. He certainly didn't.

He soon grew tired of just enthusiastically kissing though, and pulled away, pressing a uncharacteristically soft kiss to the corner of her mouth, and he began to trail kisses down to Y/N's neck, humming 'Somebody To Love' as he went. Y/N's grip on his shoulders tightened, and Crowley smirked, gently nipping at her skin, causing Y/N to gasp quietly.

"Crowley, you better not leave marks!" She hissed, and Crowley merely winked, before grazing his teeth across her skin again, before suddenly just nuzzling into the small crook of Y/N's neck. Y/N blinked, confused, but she smiled anyway, resting her chin on top of Crowley's head.

Then Crowley did the opposite of what Y/N had told him. He left a hickey.

Now, Y/N could pretend to be angry all she wanted, but she wasn't really, she never really could be. After all, it was Crowley. Who could be mad at Crowley? (A lot of people.)

So instead, she softly flicked him when he was done, and sighed.

"You're lucky I love you, Crowley." She grumbled, and Crowley shrugged, and pecked Y/N's lips, smiling. He then began working on the buttons of Y/N's shirt, and, well.

The rest is history.

Tags: @dekahg , @steampowerednightvaler

#crowley x reader #crawley #crowley #good omens x reader #good omens #aziraphale #reader #x reader #crowley good omens #kinda smut #?? #at the end #eh #but eh