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cybernaght · 3 years

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Guardian rewatch: episode 6

Episode 6 jumps us into the case of a disappearing woman, Zhou Weiwei, with the SID team being on the scene, taking the unofficial statement of her fiancé, Ji Xiaobai. While in terms of the actual investigation this case is even thinner than usual, thematically its juicy. It’s musing on the self, and how the self is defined in the eyes of the others; it actually has a grown-up real life take on an unhappy love story, and it can even be read as having pro-immigration connotations. This episode is telling the viewer that one is not entitled to nice things because they are a human from the human world, and there is no sin in wishing to take a chance to move somewhere you can see the sun.

From the very first scene, Zhao Yunlan, who always has been shown as hands-on with the investigation, removes himself from Xiaobai’s flat, claiming that he has to speak to someone. It’s obvious who that someone is; and we see that our Chief is starting to rely on Shen Wei as his consultant way before he ever offers him that job. There is no reason for Yunlan to seek the other man’s help; and yet, he will end up solving with Shen Wei by his side, and purely through Shen Wei’s ample advice.

Left with the worried, grieving fiancé of the missing Weiwei, Guo Chancheng suggests they take a stroll to calm down emotions, bringing himself, the man in question, and Chu Shizhu to his favourite place. He is, once again, being the sweetest, most lovely and considerate human being on this planet; and Chu Shizhu is starting to take his lead, listening, being a calming presence - even going as far as to softly offering Ji Xiaobai a beer.

Hearing the sounds of a magpie, harbinger of good fortune, Guo Changcheng becomes animated, dragging Xiobai up to make a wish out loud. Xiaobai, predictably, wishes for his beloved to come back home, and Xiao Guo gladly repeats this wish, strengthens it with his will. This is where he is in his element: making people better, giving people hope, using his massive heart to help those around him. Guo Changcheng truly is too precious for words.

“Kid. You never make wishes for yourself?”

“I do. When everyone is happy, I am happy as well.”

We see Guo Changcheng’s simple, pure altruism resonating deep within Chu Shizhu, reminding him of his little brother that he lost. Well, I say “little” metaphorically, as the two are twins. That’s right, Guardian has two sets of twins, probably because it does not want to waste its extremely capable main cast. I’m not mad at it.

Later that day, Shen Wei is conversing with a flower Yashou conveniently living on campus. I think she has a name, but I have a habit of calling her Bush Woman, because it’s what she is.

She is animated poorly, but at least she is animated at all: there will be a scene later in the series, in which she is played by a bush, being shaken enthusiastically below the shot. The actual conversation is about a person Shen Wei is looking for: he has received a tip from Butler Wu in the previous episode that one of commanders in the Underworld army had a child. Hoping that that child could give him a clue at to where the next of the Hallows is stored, Shen Wei is now looking for them. Naturally, the child in question is also the missing woman in question, but Shen Wei does not know that yet.

Their conversation is interrupted by Zhao Yunlan being sited on the bike heading towards the university. In the next scene, Zhao Yunlan is shifting uncomfortably at Shen Wei’s office door. Presumably, he has knocked, heard no response, and is just about to give up and go home. This is the moment Shen Wei opens the door from inside, greeting him. Did he teleport into his office so he could talk to Yunlan? Yes, yes he did.

Despite being more than capable of deducing stuff on his own, Chief Zhao brings in the pictures of the disappeared Weiwei to Shen Wei to analyse for clues. We know that Shen Wei is aware that there is no actual legitimate reason for Zhao Yunlan to seek out his help - because Shen Wei states as much, in the nicest way possible. Zhao Yunlan does not actually have a satisfying answer to that, and his response is mostly boiled down to shameless flirting.

And also doing throughly shameless things to a lollipop while maintaining eye contact the whole time. Because why not give our protagonist in the show about brotherhood the most homoerotic character quirk he could possibly have, right?

As Zhao Yunlan and Shen Wei continue discussing the case, it becomes more and more clear that they work together marvellously, going as far as finishing each other’s sentences. The body language also suggests that they are very comfortable in each other’s company.

Yunlan, who a few episodes ago would rather sleuth himself than ask people for clues, listens to the advise Shen Wei gives him, internalises it, and eventually uses it to solve this case. Scratch that, actually - he accepts it when Shen Wei pretty much solves the case for him.

Following Shen Wei’s words to the letter, Zhao Yunlan opens the portal into the magic dimension and discovers that there are, in fact, two Weiweis. The woman from the mirror - an Undergrounder, who left to live a normal life, and a human, who hid because she could not stand being unpopular, and now returned out of jealousy for her mirror counterpart’s perfect life.

It’s very hard to not sympathise with the mirror!Weiwei over the human one. All the former wanted was to live, and to love, and to be happy. All the later wants is to have all that without putting in any effort. Human!Weiwei does not truly understand that it takes more than taking to have a relationship, and there is nothing that would allow her to be entitled to happiness that she did not herself create.

Instead, she calls mirror!Wewei a monster, and the later snaps, creating a whirlwind of energy which threatens to destroy everyone in the mirror with her.

Unfortunately for her, one of the people she is threatening to kill is Zhao Yunlan, and we know how Hei Pao Shi feels about Zhao Yunlan’s life being threatened. This man, who does have a soft, squishy heart, and has previously allowed murderous Wang Yike to stay with her lover, all but snarls at mirror!Weiwei as he captures her.

The show treats hers and Xiaobai’s farewell as a true tragedy; it’s genuinely heartbreaking to see them cry, as we are shown flashback of their relationship.

In the past couple of episodes, we have witnessed a huge shift in Shen Wei. He may have been determined to detach himself and march onwards alone a short while ago, but he has also seen the SID being full of kind, righteous individuals; he has been begged to save an Undergrounder’s life; he has been asked for friendly support and advice by Zhao Yunlan, and so he, perhaps unwittingly, allows his Hei Pao Shi persona to soften. As he takes mirror!Weiwei away, he stops to have a little tiny heart to heart with Yunlan, saying that identity of a person lies in their heart rather than what or who they are physically. This is a very Shen Wei thing to say, actually, but it will be a while before Yunlan figures that one thing out. Two things on this scene:

One. The mask really does hide Zhu Yilong’s most prominent features pretty well, and to help the viewer understand how he could have been hiding his identity successfully for what could be months, the camera more often than not shoots Hei Pao Shi from a lower angle, and Shen Wei from the higher angle, or dead on, subtly reshaping the jaw line. It’s clever; as is often often the case with the camera work in this show.

Two. Isn’t it a little bit amusing how this ancient godlike being needs to fill in the paperwork in line of his duty?

As with Shen Wei’s advice earlier on, Zhao Yunlan takes Hei Pao Shi’s one to heart as well, and makes his way to human!Weiwei to make sure Xiaobai knows that she is not at all the woman he fell in love with and wanted to marry. He unearths her greed, jealousy and entitlement in full; in the end, this relationship cannot survive, because how could Xiaobai possibly stay with someone who does not know - someone who even is, in some ways, responsible, for his lover being taken away from him forever? As the couple breaks up, Wang Zheng and Sang Zan’s love song is playing in the background.

During this scene, the infamous “I would like to buy [this coat] for my girlfriend” moment happens.

As we know, he does not have a girlfriend. He may, however, have a boyfriend.

I really like the idea that he buys Shen Wei’s trench coats based on this. I really do. It is nice to see Shen Wei’s style starting to change dramatically as he and Zhao Yunlan become closer, of course, and I want it to be one of those deliberate coded messages Guardian is absolutely astonishing for. But at the same time, this is the jacket Yunlan is remarking on:

It sadly does not look anything like what Shen Wei wears. I will file this under “it’s true because the fandom said so”.

Later, Hei Pao Shi is having a conversation mirror!Weiwei, revealing that he knew her father, and getting a clue he was after. We are getting a lovely extreme close-up of his eyes. While the mask does not stand to scrutiny of close examination - seriously, they could have maybe put actual leafing on it! - I really love this shot.

At home, Zhao Yunlan is talking to Da Qing about his favourite subject, which is Professor Shen, and performing more shameless things to his lollipop while doing so. Brotherhood, my friends. This show it about bro-ther-hood.

Da Qing wonders if his friend has been bewitched by Shen Wei, because it is obvious that Zhao Yunlan does not shut up about the man ever. When asked whether Yunlan would arrest the professor if he were indeed from the Underground, Yunlan responds with a dismissive, almost affronted “He didn’t do anything wrong”. We are to understand, through Da Qing’s reaction, that this is extremely uncharacteristic of Zhao Yunlan to say something like this, and it is entirely reasonable for Da Qing to be concerned. We could extrapolate that Da Qing’s worried because if Shen Wei is dangerous, getting attached to him in such a blatant manner could put Zhao Yunlan’s career and life at a very great risk. So, Da Qing, who knows his friend very well, chooses to press all the correct buttons to kick-start his natural curiosity, and do some investigative work into Shen Wei.

Step one: break into his flat. As you do.

When we saw Shen Wei view the flat prior to moving in, it was shown already furnished, which is not entirely consistent with this tasteful, yet eclectic, furniture. I don’t know about you, but most flats I have rented have been furnished at IKEA. I can’t help but particularly admire his G Plan style mid-century side-board. And the fact that the man owns a gramophone, because of course he does.

Shen Wei’s book collection is wonderfully perplexing. I’m not surprised that he reads in English - he is educated, and Dragon City is explicitly shown as bilingual, seeing as signs and even gravestones are written in English. But choices were made with the selection of titles. Going off the English ones alone Shen Wei owns: three copies of the same book about architecture, a heavy looking tome on interior design, a tattered one on Van Gough, and the only non-fiction English titles in his possession are… Irvin Welsh’s Trainspotting and a novelisation of Rocky? The former is notoriously difficult read as it’s written entirely in the Scottish accent. The later is very difficult to find, as is often the case with unnecessary novelisations. Neither scream “Shen Wei” to me.

Apart from Shen Wei’s obviously fake book collection, we find out that he has some files on the SID. It should be a weird point of contention for Zhao Yunlan, considering that a) he also read Shen Wei’s files; b) he literally broke into the man’s apartment.

While Zhao Yunlan and Da Qing are still nosing around the flat, Shen Wei makes his way home, stilling at his door when he either sees that the lights are on (they won’t when he left), or notes with his Hei Pao Shi sense that someone is inside.

We, in turn, discover that he has sword replicas on his wall. The swords are obviously European, two of them are shorter, arming ones, and the one in the middle is a longsword with a hand and a half grip. All three have round pommels, downturned cross-guards, and the general shape most reminiscent of very Late Middle Ages (I would hazard at a guess and place them around second half of the 15th century). I wish we could have seen Shen Wei fighting with one of those at some point, because they would be wielded in ways very different from his own blade, but alas. The shield, by the way, has no business being hung together with those swords: it’s not only from a wrong era, it’s from a different part of the world entirely; my guess is that it’s a replica of a shield from the Tang dynasty.

Shen Wei senses Zhao Yunlan hiding on the balcony, and bites back a smile. Anyone else would be less happy to find out that their privacy being violated, but he is endeared at is the same way Yunlan was endeared at Shen Wei’s cunning during the prior episode.

After getting back to Zhao Yunlan’s own flat (possibly by waiting for Shen Wei to pretend to fall sleep), Da Qing and Zhao Yunlan move on to step two: contacting the Underground Regent about Shen Wei. Which is not as important a tidbit as finding out that Zhao Yunlan owns a swing.

Then, they move in to step three: the banner.

According to this article, it’s 锦旗, a traditional gift of gratitude. It’s addressed to “Dragon City University, Professor Shen Wei”, but is singed by “Zhao Yunlan”, without mentioning of SID or his position therein, implying that the gift is personal. The message reads “Helping people [is] helping oneself” and “conscience of the industry”. It’s extremely over the top, which both Shen Wei and Chu Shuzhi, tasked with delivering the banner, are aware of.

Shen Wei looks between tentatively amused and politely mortified.

Chu Shuzhi looks like holding this banner is the most excruciating torture he ever had to endure.

The banner, of course, has a hidden camera in it, so that Zhao Yunlan has a 24/7 feed from Shen Wei’s office. As he and Da Qing are watching the gift being hung, Da Qing is teasing Yunlan with Hei Pao Shi, who is surely the wrong man to tease him about.

In the next scene, Zhao Yunlan is at Shen Wei’s workplace again, and we discover from Shen Wei’s unpleasant boss that Li Qian has dropped out after her ordeal with the Longevity Dial.

From the way this is written and shot, I would surmise that Zhao Yunlan does not spring on the professor in a middle of an uncomfortable conversation, but rather has spent some time with him prior to it, volunteering to be moral support. He continues being a good friend by asking Shen Wei why he feels like he has to shoulder all of the world’s weight: it’s surprisingly insightful into a large part of Shen Wei’s personality.

There is little narrative reason for them to have this meeting, so I am choosing to believe that dropping in on Shen Wei randomly during lunch time is a habit Zhao Yunlan has started to form.

Finally, before the episode ends, we are privy to Shen Wei being the most polite, level-headed mugging victim. He hands the muggers his watch and money willingly, waiting for Zhao Yunlan, who is obviously stalking him, to show up and save the day. The muggers, enraged by his cool attitude, decide to shake him up, and, in the last seconds of this episode, the Pendant of Pining appears in shot for the first time.

Next up, episode 7: No, Shen Wei, It Wasn’t The Bears

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Just a quick note to say that I’ll keep those recaps going, but I will have to slow down the pace at which I’m churning them out to one every three to four days. There are some real life things I’ve been neglecting last few weeks that I need to spend my time on; and I’ve also started a new show (Sound of Providence, not Word of Honour - my watching priorities currently lie with Zhu Yilong being awesome). So, if I’m quiet here for a few days, I’m not gone, just a bit busy.

ETA. Realised that I made a booboo when translating the banner. Fixed that now.

#guardian #shen wei #zhao yunlan #weilan #recap #rewatch #overanalysing set design

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silverbyuls · 3 years

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( lee hyeri, cis female, muse i ) oh snap! is that SHIN EUNBYUL they work over at high volume where some of the other employees have labeled them as THE AVERAGE JOE. that’s probably because they can be a bit ( optimistic. ) but also pretty ( dishonest. ) they’re TWENTY TWO and they’ve been living in woodstock for TWENTY TWO YEARS. it must be their shift because i totally hear THE CRANBERRIES blasting from the record store. ( a little tikes piggy bank tucked under the bed, clothing label sticking out from the back, snap clips with varnish peeling off, jelly shoes with the strap taped together, leaving lisa frank stickers along record crates ) @volumeupdates

BIO

the luke hemsworth of the family but middle child

goes by byul

tried to go by ‘e.b.’ but her mum went berserk because she’d reduced her name to two letters for the ease of her yt friends and her brother bullied her for being e.t’s ugly sister so now she tries to go by silver star (her name translated into english) but it doesn’t quite stick

claims that her older sister and younger brother stole all her beauty, brain cells and height

family invested everything into older sister so she could go to college in new york: savings, loans, moved to smaller house which is even further from the town centre

brother requires all attention as he has high hopes of getting into college on a baseball scholarship and she lowkey can’t wait until he’s far away from woodstock

her grades have always been average so no one expects her to leave – her parents talk about how nice it is that she’ll be with them forever but she knows that’s because they want her to take care of them when they’re old … which she would! if they didn’t live in woodstock

she tells them she’s going to move to california, but they think she’s as serious about that as she is about wanting to go to college, or becoming supermodel of the world, or an olympic swimmer, when she has average grades, of average height, and can’t even swim

if her life was a movie, she’d have fallen asleep in the first ten minutes – it has always been so boring and uneventful, so she lives up in her head with her fake scenarios to keep things interesting – most of the time, they’re taken straight from a book or magazine

sometimes these thoughts spill over into reality because she can’t fathom the idea of people realising she’s as plain as she is, and her little white lies give her a bit of sparkle to stand out (in her opinion)

but she will get to california!

she even has a plan:

she’s been working at freddy’s diner since she was fifteen, escaping to high volume whenever she can, a place where she can pop her headphones on during her breaks and pretend she’s getting ogled at on venice beach, but she’s terrible at saving so seven years later she’s still grinding

once she graduates high school, she has enough time for a second job and she’d dropped enough hints in front of jerry for him to kindly offer her a job. after all, she spends as much time in high volume as she does at freddy’s so there’s not much of a difference once she becomes an employee -- still floating around the place, sipping on her coke can, either people watching or people chasing -- except now she has access to the register

after a big argument with her parents, she ended up moving out into a place in the middle of town. that was never part of the plan because saving was easier when she lived at home. she’ll say things got really bad but really, she was just getting closer to her target and she wanted a valid reason to put it off for a bit longer

she was only supposed to do it once – stealing from the cash register. it was just right there, no one was around, and she thought it was going to be her last shift because jerry was angry at her for being late again (granted, he hadn’t actually been mad, but it was one of those days when everything felt personal)

besides, she’d overheard a group of girls she’d idolised in school talk about how they stole some underwear and they made it sound so cool

she felt like everyone could hear her heart thumping against her chest as she walked out of the store but the day after, no one said anything about it, no one even noticed, and she wasn’t fired. so she did it again, and again, and again, and eventually she didn’t even bat an eyelid

the extra money was supposed to help her reach her goal faster but, again, she’s terrible at saving and her parents are so hardworking, she can’t help but feel guilty and buy nice things for them every once in a while and when they ask where she got the money from, she lies and says jerry gave her a bonus for being a good employee

on the other hand, if they’ve had an argument, or they’ve forgotten about her again, she’ll have a full on les-mis-i-dreamed-a-dream episode then splurge out on a cute jacket because it’s hers and it’s new! rather than worn out hand-me-downs from her sister or brother!

started her own side hustle called the separation agency – inspired after a customer at high volume asked her to help him break up with his boyfriend. so she’s the messenger for people who have things to say but don’t have the balls to say it to someone’s face themselves. usually they’re horrible messages, like break ups. she’s had like three customers and tries to promote her side hustle whilst on her shift at high volume

she thinks her “business” could actually thrive in a bigger city which is just another reason why she needs to get out of woodstock – it’s holding her back!

anyway, jerry’s missing, which is perfect for her because she gets to come in late and not get told off, and maybe steal a little more than she usually does

PERSONALITY:

when she’s around people, she seems like an extrovert: bubbly, talkative, dramatic ... which uses up a lot of her energy and her social battery is weak, so needs her own space often, and likes doing nothing by herself so sometimes she’ll lie to get out of plans or bail last minute

she has big dreams, and talks about all her big plans, but has leaving anxiety which is why she’s shit at saving and makes up excuses as to why she can’t leave just yet

has main character syndrome -- likes to live her life as a romcom, most of her lies revolve around her love life because she wants to be seen as desirable, but also will overanalyse everything

sensitive, passionate, immature, sympathetic, fickle, clumsy, dramatic, caring, head in clouds

will pretend to knows things to fit in like ~hipster~ bands or anything really, depends on the crowd

could gladly spend all day talking to customers at work then the next day she’ll prefer to day dream in the storage room

rides a bike to and from work and almost everywhere else too -- the only one out of her siblings who had to bike to school because small car and siblings took up all the space -- she’s had the same bike since high school

loves spice girls but feels like she’ll be judged so keeps quiet and plays it when she’s closing

honestly could hate you one day and have a crush on you the next but you wouldn’t even know it -- a vicious cycle

collects stickers and leaves them everywhere and on everyone - often passive aggressive through them, basically uses them like emojis

will try to order food and get others to pay for it - especially kfc, never gets to eat the drumsticks at home so will honestly cry if people steal the drumsticks from her

buys lottery tickets and scratch cards because she has a 50/50 chance of winning

WANTED CONNECTIONS: (current connections)

start up: stolen str8 from a kdrama that ruined my life hehe her parents set her up with a pen pal to keep her busy out of guilt because they’re so busy with her siblings and work and obviously she romanticises it !!! her parents would’ve asked to lie a little bit, just so she’d be writing to someone she’d easily obsess over -- love island vc: someone who ticks all the boxes

xoxo gossip girl: someone who loves a good gossip sesh -- they probably send 👀 at each other across the store when things feel a bit tense, which is code for ‘meet me in the storage room’ so they can chat away for the rest of their shift

lunch stealer: she makes her own lunch every day and is extremely protective over it but one day it went missing and she knows it was them (maybe it was, maybe it wasn’t) so now they are her sworn enemy

sister’s/brother’s friend: therefore an automatic enemy

shut up: someone who just tells her to shut up because she chats so much shit and she’s insane - just sandra x dina vibes from superstore (x)

carpool karaoke: she hates cycling in when it’s raining, so either she’s trying to get them to be her designated driver or has already succeeded and is annoying about it

crush #1: someone she has a crush on (more of an infatuation) and they’re not interested in her in the slightest but in her head they’re giving her mixed signals and she has made up a fake boyfriend to try to make them jealous

crush #2: someone she thinks has a crush on her. either because they’re nice or tease her or just mean, it doesn’t matter, she’s insane so she’ll interpret it however she wants

ex: they never broke up, or even dated, but she thinks something almost happened between them and she thinks she cut things off by giving them space

separation agency: someone who once used the agency either out of the kindness of their heart or for a different reason entirely and now she won’t stop pestering them to try and get them to use it again

no thots just vibes: i just like this gifset tbh (x) and we can brainstorm !

#volumeintro #*releases into the wild*

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youssefguedira · 3 years

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thoughts on tales through time: issue #2 - strong medicine

as per usual, spoilers under the cut!

i'll be honest. don't have a lot to say about this one. booker is in the wild west and beats up some guys. that's pretty much it. however, i still do have some things to say:

number one. everyone calling booker english even after he told them he's french killed me. how do you even mix the two up. i cannot figure it out. funniest part of the whole issue

number two. the panels when booker first enters the town where he's looking at the men who have been hung? and thinking about his own hanging? yeah....

booker, comparatively, isn't that old. in this, set in september 1870, he's only been immortal for just over half a century (58 years, i checked). your first death has gotta be pretty traumatising, i think andy even mentions it in the comics (cannot remember which) as something you don't forget. i don't know where this is going but just. a thought.

i also liked how it shows booker's telegram to andy. more fun character things. i found it kinda hard to follow while i was reading so here's the full text (i added punctuation + paragraph breaks for ease of reading):

"My friend Andromache. Have been diverted by weather and other matters. Will join you in San Francisco as soon as is practical.

Something gnaws at me. Like a string that has been plucked. I need to hear the note it sounds.

In any event I am compelled here, though as yet I am unsure why. I expect I will find out why soon enough.

This strange life we lead must have a purpose. These strings always pull us to where we must be. Is each pluck of the string another note in a symphony? But I must confess, my friend, the conductor of the symphony just may not be very good at his trade.

That notion gives me pause. That we are not directed by a grand design. That our destiny is just a chaos that ultimately means nothing.

What I must do here feels necessary. But I am at a loss to see what may come of this affair."

there is so much to unpack here! firstly, the idea that they're somehow compelled to be where they need to be is interesting i guess, but this also might be booker having thoughts about immortality and not anything to overanalyse. it also sure does show booker's general.... difference to, let's say nicky, in ideas about immortality and what it all means. it's kind of exactly what i would expect from booker but it's also interesting to see his thoughts on the subject i suppose

secondly, what he must do? save a doctor from getting murdered. what will come of this affair? well. here's the last panel:

i really love the new perspective that this puts the events of opening fire/the movie into. i remember a post floating around a while ago about how copley actually found out about the old guard in the first place, because.... how do you find that. but the idea that dr. milford merrick-

(i'm sorry. pausing the train of thought. i cannot stop laughing at the name milford.)

(back to this very serious and sensible review post.)

the idea that milford told his children about the time booker saved him, and this getting back to merrick and merrick therefore investigating? i like it a lot actually. shows the Butterfly Effect idea the movie introduces us to except in a... less good way.

anyway, that concludes this review post. apparently i was lying about not having a lot to say.

see y'all next month for tales through time issue #3: passchendaele and lacus solitudinis!

#neon has thoughts on tales through time #the old guard #tales through time #tales through time spoilers #booker #strong medicine #i am So Sorry everyone this post is mostly a normal review but milford is killing me #i don't know why. it's just such a dumb name. milford

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chrwrites · 4 years

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Take Me As You Please - Chapter 3

Ch 1 | Ch 2

read on ao3

Marinette opened the door to her house to find Alya followed by Alix, Rose, Juleka and Mylène, “What are you all doing here?” she asked in surprise.

“Being there for you, obviously” Alya said as the girls came inside and hugged Marinette. She couldn’t help but smile while she was surrounded by warm arms that were preventing her from falling apart. When her friends pulled back, they showed her what they had brought for her: a bag full of different snacks, ice cream, and a DVD set of romantic comedies they could cry to. Marinette never felt so lucky.

As they set the food on the coffee table in the living room, Mylène told Marinette she was sorry for not noticing she was sad the day before. She thought she was concentrating on her designs, “I’m so used to Ivan not wanting to be distracted when he’s working on new music that I do the same with all my friends”, she said giving Marinette an apologetic look. Marinette smiled reassuringly at her, “You don’t have to be sorry! I wouldn’t have wanted to talk about it anyway. So... What are we watching?” she asked in order to change the subject. She didn’t really want to face what bothered her in that moment, Adrien dating her friend was the cherry on top of way too many problems for a sixteen-year-old like Marinette. She should have gotten used to it by now, but sometimes here responsibilities were still too much, and she needed a moment where she could just be herself and not feel any weight on her shoulders.

“I brought Love Actually, He’s just not that into you, 500 Days of Summer, The Notebook, Under the Tuscan Sun and Eat Pray Love for you to choose” Rose said, adding that she spent the whole morning looking for the right movies for her. Marinette thanked her and picked a DVD, her choice was pretty obvious.

“We’re watching He’s just not that into you” she said, putting the disc in the player.

“What? Are you sure? Alya protested.

“Yes, why wouldn’t I be?”

“I would’ve chosen it too, you know” Alix winked at Marinette, who felt reassured. She didn’t really know what the movie was about, but she hoped it could help her given the situation.

“Oh, too bad you didn’t choose Love Actually, I really like that one” Rose pouted.

“Did you know that there was a lesbian couple in that movie? They cut them off though” Juleka said.

“What, really?” Rose asked in an offended tone, to which the purple haired girl nodded, “It was the same dramatic trope as always anyway, one of them died. I’m glad they cut it off honestly.”

At that, Rose wrinkled her nose in disapproval, “Is a happy ending too much to ask? I swear, if I hear about another lesbian killed off in a movie, I’ll take matters into my own hands and make my own death-free lesbian movie. I don’t care.”

Juleka chuckled at her comment and looked at her fondly, she had the same calm and sweet expression of her older brother in that moment. Marinette thought about the way the two made each other happy and brought the best out of each other. Maybe it was because she watched their relationship blossom under her eyes, but they were the kind of couple people looked at and said “I want what they have”, everyone could see that they cared about each other a lot and they weren’t the kind of couple that made people around them uncomfortable with their displays of affection. Marinette wished she had that something like that, too.

She pressed play and let the movie begin.

As she watched the story unravel, Marinette couldn’t help but think about how she had been just as hopeful as the main character. The way she had always wished that someday Adrien would have seen her as something more than a friend reminded her of how the protagonist overanalysed every little thing her date did just to convince herself that he was interested in her. But if a guy wanted to be with a girl, he would have done anything to be with her. It hit her, how harsh and cold reality was.

That was probably the hardest pill to swallow, Adrien wouldn’t have done that kind of anything to be with her. She shouldn’t have had this stupid crush on him in the first place, he would have never fallen for her, they were just friends and she should have cherished his friendship more instead of wanting and trying to turn it into something more. Life was not a romantic comedy, and she wasn’t an exception. She was the rule.

She didn’t realize she had started crying until all her friends cuddled on her on the couch, and Marinette noticed that Rose’s eyes were wet too.

The movie didn’t end with the character picking up the pieces and moving on by herself, she got together with the same guy who opened her eyes on how men behaved after she called him out on his selfishness. She became his exception. That was a movie after all, she couldn’t expect anything different.

All Marinette had left was the ending speech.

Maybe a happy ending doesn't include a guy, maybe… it's you, on your own, picking up the pieces and starting over, freeing yourself up for something better in the future. Maybe the happy ending is… just… moving on.

She had to move on from her crush, no matter how hard, painful and long it would have been, and she didn’t want to lose his friendship over something so stupid. She wasn’t fourteen anymore, she could handle this in a mature way.

With the encouragement of her friends, Marinette deleted all the pictures of Adrien she kept on her phone, she couldn’t believe that such a small step made her feel like she had fought one of the worse villains she’s ever fought. She refused to take his pictures off the bulletin board in her room, claiming she used them for inspiration, she still needed some time after all.

They spent the rest of the afternoon on the terrace, talking about everything and nothing and doing each other's nails until Marinette’s mum brought them delicious homemade pizzas for dinner. Marinette wasn’t feeling like the whole world was crashing on her, that weight became lighter the more she spent time with her friends. She didn’t care about the fact that she probably would’ve let herself drift into sadness again before going to bed, because in that moment she was okay and she wanted to enjoy that. She finally had the chance to behave like an ordinary teenager, she could think about everything else later.

The air got colder as stars appeared in the dark sky, and although their light was dimmed by the city lights, they still shone bright. Marinette felt at peace watching them, but when Alya got up and said that her dad was coming to pick her, Alix and Mylène up, she felt the serene atmosphere slip through her fingers. She knew it was late and that her friends had to go home, but she wished for the day not to end.

Marinette walked the three girls to the door and gave each of them a tight hug that said what she couldn’t say. Thank you for being there for me, I’m lucky to have you.

After that, she had to say goodbye to Rose and Juleka too. They thanked her while wrapping her in a bone crushing hug. Marinette let out a sigh as she closed the door and went upstairs, her mind was letting out the thoughts she had kept suppressed until then. How hurt she was, how hard and almost impossible it would be to forget how she felt around Adrien, how kind he was to her, how much he relied on her and their friendship, how she had tried in the clumsiest and most absurd ways to confess her feelings for him. Like the time she wrote him a letter but forgot to sign it, or when she plotted along with her friends a plan to ask him out while he was having a photoshoot at the Trocadero. She never noticed how irrationally her crush made her act until now.

She picked her crush over a friend once. She chose Adrien over Luka when Jagged Stone asked her if she knew any guitarist. She dumbly put Adrien first because he was Adrien, and he was perfect, but Luka was perfect for what Jagged had asked. He was talented and sensitive enough to play people’s heartbeat and melodies that could calm turbulent feelings with his guitar, not to mention the fact that Jagged was his favourite singer and Marinette would have made him really happy by suggesting him . She cringed thinking about her behaviour. Yes, she was stupid, and it happened ages ago but how could she pick a crush over someone who had always been – and still was – there for her? He didn’t deserve that treatment, and that behaviour was so unlike her she felt disappointed in herself.

The worse thing her crush made her do, was letting herself be convinced by Chloe into ruining Kagami’s time with Adrien out of jealousy and envy, and telling each other it was for Adrien's sake. Marinette had been so blinded by her feelings that she let them turn her into someone she didn’t want to be. Her and Kagami weren’t friends at the time, but she felt bad for how she behaved, especially since she so proudly claimed that girls should never compete against one another for the attention of boys.

Wasn’t a crush supposed to make her want to be the best version of herself? Why did she do those things? Why did she learn his schedule by heart? Was a crush supposed to make her feel this way?

“Well Marinette, sometimes feelings can be so overwhelming that you forget who you really are, and you make mistakes. Don’t beat yourself up for them. Your heart is pure, and you never meant to harm anyone”, Tikki told her, “It’s a good thing that you realized that you’ve made mistakes, but don’t forget that you did everything you could to make up for them, and you have grown from them.” The small creature put both her hands on her cheek in an affectionate way and squeezed it, as if they were giving her a hug. Marinette gave the Kwami a smile, feeling slightly reassured. She felt like she had to do one last thing before letting her past mistakes go, and that was talking to Kagami.

She remembered how, that time she had to fight against Love Eater and chose her for back up, Kagami told her – well, she told Ladybug – that hurting Marinette was the only thing that was preventing her from pursuing Adrien, and that she was her only friend.

And in the end, it was Marinette who let her pursue Adrien, she left them alone that time because she knew that they would have been happy together. She shouldn’t have been surprised of the turnout since it wasn’t completely unexpected, although it hurt. How long had it been since then? A year, more or less.

Kagami and Marinette had become closer, and they hung out almost on a weekly basis depending on their schedules. She was a good friend, she was realistic, determined and very good at helping Marinette keep her feet on the ground, and Marinette, on the other hand, listened to her when she complained about how her mum could be too strict or how the people attending her school were spoiled and annoying, and encouraged her to open up and not to restrain herself in order to please her mother. Marinette didn’t want to lose her.

For this reason, she reached for her phone and looked for Kagami's contact. She typed in a message but then deleted it and stared at the empty box on her phone screen. She tried to type something again, and yet again, she deleted it.

Type. Delete. Type. Delete. Type. Delete.

Words seemed to have lost their meaning, Marinette didn’t know how to express herself anymore. Tikki tried to encourage her before she finally took a deep breath and started typing something quickly.

Hey, Adrien told me that you two got together. I’m really happy for you :)

I hope we can meetup soon so you can tell me everything in person!

Send.

“You did the right thing” the red spirit reassured her.

Marinette didn’t read the message again, typing it down had already consumed her, but deep down in her heart, Marinette knew that Adrien's heart was in the right hands. Even if they weren’t hers.

As long as he was happy, she would have been happy too.

At least, that was what she told herself before going to sleep, and before she kept tossing and turning in her bed while she forced herself to ignore the tormenting images of Adrien and Kagami together that were forming in her mind. She tried to find something to soothe her thoughts, but she couldn’t think of anything that could help, except for... Why didn’t I think about this before, she shook her head as she reached for her earphones.

That night, Marinette fell asleep to the comforting happy melody Luka sent her.

Marinette woke up the next morning with her earbuds tangled around her neck and the music still playing, if this had to be the cost of getting some hours of sleep then so be it. She stretched before reaching for her phone and freeing herself from the thin cords that had left sleep marks on her face.

There was a text message from Kagami that said that she had cleared her schedule to see her that afternoon. Oh, Marinette wasn’t ready. Marinette wasn’t ready to confront Kagami at all. That’s why, instead of going downstairs to get breakfast, she ended up spending the morning pacing around her room and panicking while Tikki tried to calm her down, and when her mum came to her room to announce that lunch was ready she broke down in her arms, pouring all her feelings out.

Sabine kept her daughter close and listened carefully to everything she had to say, and when she started questioning how she acted around Adrien she reassured her that it was normal to behave differently around someone you liked so much, even to the point you ended up doing things you could regret.

“Mom, how do you know if the feelings you have for someone are genuine?” Marinette asked her while her mom so delicately wiped the tears from her face, she still thought that all the feelings she had for Adrien were wrong for what they made her do.

“You put their happiness first”, she answered with a soft voice.

The girl nodded, feeling smaller in her mother’s arms, and slightly comforted by her words.

Did Marinette want her friends to be happy? Yes.

Were her friends happy together? Yes, that’s why she had to put her feelings aside. Thinking about it, she had already done it when she left them alone at André’s ice cream cart that one time. Before she made Hawk Moth find Master Fu, and before she herself became the Guardian of the Miraculous.

Marinette wondered if things could have gone differently if she hadn’t let her feelings for Adrien distract her. Moving on from her crush was definitely for the better.

When she met Kagami that afternoon, the two talked everything out and they realized they had always avoided talking about their crushes because they knew they liked the same person and didn’t want to make things awkward. Marinette admitted of liking Adrien, but she had let him go when instead of confessing her feelings to him, she encouraged him to go after Kagami. It would have been perfect if her heart wasn’t still clinging on the feelings she had for him, but she decided that her priority was seeing her friends happy., and Kagami was definitely happy. She was different from her usual composed self, a new light glowing in her eyes. Marinette had never seen her so relaxed. It surprised her, but she was glad to see this new side of her friend, even if the reason behind that made her heart twinge.

Marinette tried to ignore the ache she felt as Kagami talked about Adrien, forcing herself to smile, she wondered when it would have started to hurt less and tried to hold on to the fact that she had gone through worse. She didn’t really want to spoil her friend’s happiness, even if it hurt her, she could handle that.

Why would she ruin something she had for something she could never have? She had to accept that she would have never had something more than a friendship with Adrien, and if she cared about him and Kagami as much as she claimed, she had to support her friends and give up on her stupid teenage crush, even if it hurt more than she could admit.

Marinette was relieved when they finally changed subject and talked about how neither of them hadn’t started their summer homework yet, it was the second week of holiday after all.

They spent the rest of the afternoon at Albert-Kahn Garden, walking around the park and admiring colourful flowers and plants, Marinette felt calmer than as she felt the warmth of the sun on her skin.

“Did you know that its fruit and seed sprout at the same time?” Kagami said, pointing at the fully blooming lotus flowers floating in the pond below them, “It means fullness and rebirth, since they grow through mud and dirt”.

“I didn’t know you were interested in plant symbolism!” Marinette looked at her in disbelief, she had always seen her as someone methodical and concrete, she didn’t expect her to be interested in such things.

Kagami just gave her a tiny smile and continued to list the characteristics of the lotus, and she did the same with other species as they went on walking around the garden, “Those represent friendship and devotion” she said, pointing at a flower bed full of Peruvian lilies of different shades of pink, yellow, orange and red. Marinette looked around her amazed and took out the small sketchbook she always had with her. She was so struck by the beauty of the nature that surrounded them in the middle of the city that she felt the need to treasure it on the pages of her sketchbook. She quickly sketched a bunch of Peruvian lilies, then went on to draw some other flowers as they explored the marvellous garden and Kagami explained the meaning of the flowers that caught Marinette’s attention.

At the end of the day, the once blank pages were filled with pencil drawings of different kinds of flowers, and Marinette had written their meaning beside them with her neat calligraphy. Before saying goodbye to Kagami, Marinette ripped off one page from her book and gave it to her. The astonished look on her face as she looked at the sheet with the Peruvian lilies in her hands made Marinette chuckle.

“I – thank you, Mari” Kagami smiled, and then gave her a small hug. She wasn’t very good at displaying affection so Marinette took it as a big accomplishment and she hugged her back.

Tikki was right, she did the right choice when she decided to talk to Kagami and find a new starting point for their friendship. She was nowhere near getting over her crush, but she felt she had at least made some progress. She would’ve gotten used to listen to her talking about Adrien the way she wished to.

Her heart was incredibly lighter as she walked to the underground station.

#lukanette #lukanette fanfic #endgame lukanette #ml fanfic #fic: take me as you please

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virlath · 4 years

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These statues in DAO

Ok so I’ve been replaying DAO to refresh my memory (it’s been a while) and all the statues have been really sticking out to me, particularly these ones in the circle of magi.

1. The above screenshots are from the third level of the circle tower. Yes they totally look similar to the fleshy sacs in the DA4 teaser (which I’ll get to later). Incidentally, this room contains a powerful abomination and skeleton archers, and I assume these fleshy growths are a result of demons manifesting into the world. The veil also seems to be very thin here because you can see several lyrium veins that have manifested from the fade.

2. The statues in this room depict a hooded woman standing with a shield in front of her. Four of these statues are centered in the room, clearly in the process of being overtaken by the fleshy growths.

I think these statues are depictions of Mythal, although the identity of the woman in this statue is never confirmed in the game (AFAIK correct me if I’m wrong).

The thing is, depictions of Mythal are very scant in DAO, and there are very few confirmed references to her anywhere, even in the dalish camps or brecilian ruins. This is interesting to me because there are many, many statues representing Ghilan’nain, Sylaise, and Andruil.

Andruil (left), Ghilan’nain (right) in the Brecilian ruins

Sylaise (left), non broken Ghilan’nain statue (right) in the Brecilian ruins

Sylaise and Ghilan’nain share a symmetry with Andruil in these ruins which I think is interesting in itself. Sylaise’s statue is clean and relatively unmarked, while Ghilan’nain’s is dirty and often broken (headless and no arms like the one below)

Broken Ghilan’nain statue in front of Flemeth’s hut

Coincidence or no? THOUGHTS?? Take into account the many references to Ghilan’nain in DAI, especially the halla artwork in Temple of Mythal, hart statues in the temple’s crypts, as well as the massive hart statues featuring in the break up scene in Crestwood.

Yes, Flemeth has moved many times in her past and there are many old ruins in the Wilds which are never even confirmed to be elven (instead they are described as ”Tevinter” in origin but I have many doubts).

But seriously, why would Flemeth set up shop in front of a broken Ghilan’nain statue, considering all the significance statues represent to the evanuris?

Broken statue of the shield woman in the Brecilian ruins - funnily enough, totally separate from the Andruil/Sylaise/Ghilan’nain statues.

===

The main reason I’m pointing all of this out is because I really think this woman with shield statue is depicting Mythal, carved in the same style as the other elven goddesses. The fact that the game never confirms who this woman is strange to me.

I mean, yes there are random human made statues in the Brecilian ruins too, which are never elaborated on either, and muddies everything. Statues are also reused a lot in DAO, so it’s harder to extract convincing clues from the environments without a whole lot of assumptions and what ifs. And yet....

Mythal is often described as the “Protector”, and her role is underscored many times in various codices throughout the games with her role as judge, jury, and/or executor. I think the shield fits this perceived role really well, and the fact that this statue is in the exact same style as the other elven goddesses indicates this shield statue is also depicting another elven goddess. The only elven goddess who does not have a confirmed statue representing her in DAO is Mythal.

I’ve had this hunch for a while, but doing the circle tower quest and realising the placement of the statues and the way the flesh is growing over them made me wonder how much of the story they actually planned for future games, and if the environmental design paints a bigger picture of the veil being fully destroyed, or even play a part in foreshadowing Mythal’s own backstory.

The fleshy overgrowth in the tower was obviously done deliberately to evoke a sense of horror and disgust, but the thing that gets me is how similar the imagery of the fleshy sacs are to the teaser image for DA4.

Granted, these are WIP images so we have to take them with a grain of salt. However, if these statues do in fact depict Mythal, isn’t it kinda symbolic that these overgrowths are quite aggressively overtaking the four statues in the center of the room? Only one of the statues has an intact head, and one of the statues even has it’s entire head consumed by a flesh sac.

DA4 will most likely feature a lot of demons and abominations since it seems more likely we will see the veil being destroyed, so perhaps this is a little precursor for what’s to come.

However, I’m more interested in whether this set design is in fact foreshadowing Mythal’s own corruption, betrayal, or death.

What do you think ? Thoughts on the statues? The symbolism? Am I overanalysing thing? (lol) So much of the lore is deliberately vague in DAO but we also know they planned SO MUCH for the future. I just can’t believe this is random coincidence or a design afterthought...

#dragon age origins #dragon age #da4 #environmental design #set design #statues in dragon age #mythal #andruil #ghilan'nain #sylaise #flemeth #dao #da theories #drabble

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innerchorus · 4 years

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So, about that bonus illustration for the musical; the first thing I noticed when I saw it was the circular symbol in the background and I could’t help wondering whether this is a) a redesign of Arslan’s personal emblem/crest or b) just some decorative symbol?

The crests/emblems were originally designed for the anime (for merch, lol) but Hiromu Arakawa made use of the design for Hilmes in the manga later on. I don’t know whether she agreed to use these designs to keep things consistent with the anime, or whether she has some freedom to make changes to them. But the symbol in the background of the new illustration really does look like a crest to me, so I want to compare it to anime design.

On the left, the new design from Hiromu Arakawa, and on the right, the emblem of Arslan as designed for the anime series.

(Don’t worry, I’ll explain the numbers!)

As you can see, they are similar in that both are circular, and feature a pattern radiating from a central point. Those seemed like superficial similarities at first, especially because the most obvious motif of the anime’s design, the shape of a bird in the centre, doesn’t feature in the other design. But then I remembered something about Arslan’s crest, and realised that the two designs might have a thematic similarity after all. There’s an interview with the company responsible for the design works in the anime (Tsuyoshi Kusano Design) that mentions something interesting about the symbolism of Arslan’s emblem:

Q: So some of the symbols on the emblems have some meanings or show the lineage of the characters.

A: For example, the circumference of Arslan’s emblem is divided into 16 parts, which represent the “Sixteen Generals” who come to aid him in the story.

(this intervew is in the booklet that came with the special edition of Series 1 Part 2, if anyone is interested I can post the whole thing)

So, that’s why I labelled the 16 sections of the emblem from the anime. I was curious about whether the same type of symbolism was present in the new design, and the answer is... sort of. It’s not as clear as in the anime version. At first I was looking at the interior of the design, so those are the red numbers, dark red and light red because it encompasses two different elements of the pattern. I wasn’t convinced by that. It’s also possible to reach 16 by counting the pale grey semicircles (green numbers, 4 in each quarter). I’m still not fully convinced it’s anything more than just coincidence.

I’m not entirely sure there was much point to this post, lmao. I might just have been overanalysing a random background decoration. But the info from the interview about the representation of Arslan’s 16 generals in his emblem is something I don’t think I shared before.

You can still see the full set of anime emblem designs here.

(Aside from Hilmes, I can’t recall for certain whether any of the other anime emblems show up in the manga; I’m planning a full reread of the manga soon so I will check for others then.)

#arslan senki #the heroic legend of arslan #arslan senki crests #arslan

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another-blog-bites-the-dust · 5 years

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My kind of woman.

Summary: You meet Lucy while designing and styling the costumes for Bohemian Rhapsody. It's then you realise that she's your kind of woman.

Warnings: None? Just the tiniest bit of angst but super fluffy

A/N: You're damn right I'm doing another Lucyxfem!reader fic. A song fic this time! This woman DEAR LORD 😭😍 WE NEED MORE LUCYXFEM!READER FICS!!! MY BI HEART IS SCREAMING OUT FOR HER! This is for all the WLW out there cause y'all deserve this. This is even for the people who aren't WLW because y'all deserve this too. In my head I pictured the song resonating and bouncing between the reader and Lucy and their different points of view on each other- as if the two wanted the other to see what their world was like. Enjoy! 💖 Lyrics are in bold italics!

The song: My Kind of Woman by Mac DeMarco

Oh baby, oh man

You're making my crazy, really driving me mad

As soon as you saw her from across the cafe, all the air left your lungs. She was beautiful. She seemed like trouble- but the playful kind. She could break your heart but you'd happily let her.

You didn't even know her name yet.

Your fingers shut over your little book full of sketches and notes. It was full of tops and skirts and dresses and shirts. You were hired to design and create the clothes she'd eventually wear, she would be doing you an enormous favour having your work on someone as gorgeous as her.

Your first meeting was informal at first, a little cafe in Soho near the tube station. It was quiet and the smell of coffee was intoxicating...until she was near enough and you could smell her perfume. You were drunk on the floral fumes.

"Hi," she greeted you with a dazzling smile "I'm Lucy."

Your brain was sent into over drive. Lucy. How sweet her name was. You wondered how it would sound leaving your lips on a breathless whisper. Your thoughts were cut off by the four boys introducing themselves. You almost forgot that they were tagging along too.

They didn't stay long, they couldn't- the four boys had to leave and practice their instruments for the characters they were playing. Lucy looked at you and frowned a little, scooting along in the booth and taking it as her cue to leave too. "You don't have to go, Lucy." Joe said "You can stay and chat to Y/N about your costumes."

He spotted something special there as soon as the two of you were sitting face to face.

Lucy turned to you, her frown replaced with a large smile. "Okay! Great! I'll get you another tea, Y/N." You both said your goodbyes to the boys and Lucy went back up to the counter to order more drinks. She turned and saw you staring. Lucy sent you a small wave and a smile, you looked away with pink cheeks and she had to bite down on her bottom lip feeling her chest flood with a newfound feeling.

That's all right with me, it's really no fuss

As long as you're next to me, just the two of us

"I've tried to source some things from Biba, been scouring all the vintage clothing shops in London." You smirked and showed her some of the outfits you had taken photos of on your phone. "Anything I couldn't find or anything that I think your character would suit and look nice in I've drew." You gave her the book and she looked through it with a soft smile. "But honestly, you'd look nice in anything." You shyly added.

Lucy looked up to you and grinned "Thank you." She returned her gaze to the pages, amazed at every little intricate detail you had managed to get in. "You are so talented!" She gushed "Beautiful!" Lucy looked up to you and her wide grin transformed into a soft, sweet one while gazing at you. "Simply beautiful."

Your fingers nervously twitched and they desperately wanted to twine themselves with hers but you made them grab the teacup instead. "We have a fitting next week- can you think of anything you might need that you'd like me to bring?" You asked.

"I can't think of anything right now but if you give me your number I can call you if I do?" Lucy mentally praised herself for that subtle excuse to get your number. Her heart was fluttering like a butterfly in her chest. She had never felt like this towards any woman before in her life.

You blinked "Uh...yeah! Sure!" You scribbled down your number on a napkin. "If you need anything just give me a call." You sent her a smile and she sent you one back while taking the napkin from you. You spent the rest of the afternoon talking about the upcoming biopic along with fashion.

Lucy had a photoshoot scheduled after meeting with you, she told you a bit about it. A photoshoot. You were heading to the shop to pick up more milk and she was getting her photos taken for a magazine. You were both so different. Your brain overanalysed all the differences you had known so far.

Your phone buzzed while you were picking up a pint of ice cream- not something you needed, like the milk, but a necessity to dig into while you watched a movie alone on the couch when you arrived home. The text was from an unknown number. You opened it and found a picture along with a message.

'I'd rather have you here styling me- you'd do a far better job! 😅'

Below the message was a picture of Lucy standing in front of a mirror with a dress on that was practically engulfing her.

You smiled and shook your head and saved her number before sending a text back.

'You suit that colour...especially since it's the only thing I can see! Are you even in the picture?' You joked.

Not even a minute later you got another text, another image of Lucy along with a message.

'Just.'

You could see a hint of blonde and a pair of eyes pop out from above a frilly tulle magenta cloud. You didn't know what it was about Lucy, but you had never felt like this towards any woman before in your life.

You're my, my, my, my kind of woman

My, oh my, what a girl

You're my, my, my, my kind of woman

And I'm down on my hands and knees

Begging you please, baby, show me your world

"Joe will you please relax and stand still!" You sighed and placed a pin in your mouth. You were trying to adjust the length of his trousers as they were too long. It was a little over three months since you had all started filming. You spent a lot of time with the four boys, especially Rami as you had to get his outfits just right to pull off some of Freddie's iconic looks.

Joe was getting antsy and anxious "It's hard to relax when someone is using pins very close to your skin." You smirked and took the pin out of your mouth and pushed it through the fabric of his trousers. You sat back a little on your knees and tugged on the hem a little to make sure it was the perfect length.

Moments later Lucy came in clutching onto herself. "Oh Y/N!" She gasped, completely flustered with bright red cheeks. "I was trying to get this dress on and I've burst it!"

"That's alright! I can see how bad it is and try to fix it." You ushered her into a changing room- which was just a space that you could pull a curtain around to give everyone their privacy. "Joe, just take them off and leave them on the hanger and I'll take them up for you tonight." He nodded and stuck his thumbs up. You made your way through to where Lucy was hiding being the curtain.

She turned around and sent you a small half smile that barely reached her eyes. "I'm really sorry about this. I feel like I've ruined your hard work."

"Don't worry about it, these things happen!" You glanced around at the back of it. "Did you attempt to put it on without undoing the zip?" You laughed and Lucy gasped, spinning around on the spot with a crooked neck to try and see the thing.

"I didn't even know it had one! God I'm such an idiot!" She loudly sighed and placed a hand on her forehead. You shook your head while giggling away and then found yourselves in a nerve racking predicament. "I hope you can fix it..." Lucy lowly spoke and then removed her arms from around herself. Your breath hitched in your throat seeing her flawless skin stand out against the light blue set she was wearing under her clothes. She took it off completely and stood in front of you for a few seconds with a shy smile. "As comfortable as I am around you, Y/N, it is a little cold..." she smirked. You nodded, albeit a little dumbfound, and handed her a robe to cover up.

"I'll...fix this just now..." you pointed to where your sewing machine would be while still staring at Lucy. You quickly left her and grasped onto your chest while inhaling a shaky breath. She was beautiful in every single way and now your feelings were getting worse. It was like they were starting little fires inside of you that were congregating into one huge one that would make you melt from the inside out.

You pushed your feelings to the side and got to work patching up the dress. Lucy could hear the machine rattling away and slowly approached you at your little station. She sat down and watched you intently- she watched you in your own little world. She could watch it for years on end and never get sick of it. Lucy almost wished that you could sneak her away to that world too and forget being an actress.

Your focus was directed towards the dress and within a few minutes you had fixed it. Lucy was amazed beyond words. "There you go..." you returned it to her but avoided her heart-stopping gaze.

Lucy frowned, she was now starting to feel guilty. "I really am sorry...I didn't mean to tear the dress."

"No...it's not the dress..." you muttered under your breath but she heard you.

"What is it then?" Lucy asked and you remained quiet, hoping that she'd just forget it. But she would never. "Please tell me what it is." She softy asked and took one of your hands.

Your eyes flickered up to her and you spoke before you could even think. "You." It came out as a whisper and your mouth took your unintentional confession as a free pass to completely spill out all your heartfelt feelings. "It's you, Lucy. I can't stop thinking about you. It drives me crazy!" You weakly chuckled. "Then you come in tonight and-" your breath caught again at the mental image you had printed in your head now. "You're so beautiful. I don't know if you feel the same and I didn't want to ruin anything. But when I saw you as soon as you stepped in the door of the cafe all those months ago- I fell for you. Hard. I've fallen for you, Lucy. Hell, you could ask for my heart and I'd rip it out my chest right here and now and give it to you!"

She bashfully laughed "Please don't do that." Her thumb brushed over your knuckles "But you should know that I feel, and would do, the exact same." Lucy leaned forward and pressed her rosy lips to yours. "I've fallen for you, Y/N."

Oh brother, sweetheart

I'm feeling so tired really falling apart

No one had any idea- except for a handful of people. Ben had found out first after walking in on the two of you when you were doing a dress fitting with Lucy. Although half the time was spent kissing her. The rest of the cast found out and you had both told your parents. Joe was especially ecstatic with the news.

You and Lucy were very happy together- despite a niggle of self doubt that sometimes ate away at you.

Filming was almost over and parties were just beginning- one of the producers was having one tonight.

"You know what we are wearing- since you picked it out!" Gwilym laughed "What are you wearing tonight, Y/N? As a stylist and designer, you must have an extensive wardrobe." You had your back to him as you were finishing off stitching a button onto one of Rami's costumes. He was wearing it as you fixed it.

"Oh...I'm not going tonight." You sheepishly smiled. The four boys looked at each other and wondered if Lucy knew. She had been raving to them for weeks about how she was going to dance the night away with you. They didn't say anything to you about it and assumed between themselves that perhaps they picked up her words up wrong.

Truth was that you were invited but declined. You weren't used to the glitzy, bright world of showbiz. You stayed behind the scenes- almost invisible. Unlike Lucy. Another difference between the two of you.

That night you were curled up on the couch watching a movie when the door was frantically knocked on. You got up and opened it, finding Lucy on the other side wearing the dress you recommended and also wearing a worried and sad expression. "Why aren't you at the party?" She asked coming through the doorway.

You lamely shrugged and shut the door "I didn't go because I wouldn't have known anyone and they won't know me."

"I know you and you know me." She said and took your hand with a reassuring smile now gracing her face. "So what if it's just the two of us? I wouldn't want to spend my night around anyone else." You felt a flutter in your chest, in your bones, in your fingers and in your toes at her words. "Now you always style me- let me choose an outfit for you tonight!"

"Okay," you nodded and let her drag her to your bedroom. She choose an outfit for you- she was learning from you fast. It was perfect. She sat by your dressing table while you changed and found a little funky jewellery box. Curiosity got the better of Lucy and she opened it and found a multitude of quirky pieces of jewellery.

Lucy took out a necklace made from old coke can tabs. You had painted them all different colours and the way that you had cut and positioned them amazed her. You came in and she looked at you in awe. "You look incredible!" She gushed and then held up the necklace. "Did you make this?"

You nodded "Years ago, before I started high school. It's rubbish-"

"No! No! No!" She protested "It's so innovative! Like you were always destined to become a designer and a stylist." She looked between you and it. "Can I wear it?" Your heart swelled and you walked over to Lucy and placed the necklace on her.

You looked at each other via the mirror and wondered what she saw in you and your reflection.

Lucy could have anyone she wanted in the world- you wondered why she fell for you. "It's yours, Luce." You whispered in her ear and she grinned widely, delicately brushing her fingers over the necklace while keeping her eyes locked with your own. "All yours." You weren't really talking about the necklace at this point.

"Well, I will wear it on my neck infinitely!" She took your hand and gave you a kiss. "Let's head to the party!" You went along with her, you'd follow Lucy wherever she went. You often wondered why she followed you. But that was just the self doubt eating away at you again.

And it just don't make sense to me

I really don't know

Why you stick right next to me or wherever I go

"I've been invited to an event, I can bring a plus one!" Lucy ecstatically announced as you walked into her apartment one evening after work with a dress in your arms for her. It was one that you designed just for her and an award show that she'd be wearing it to. The whole world would see your work on her.

"When is it?" You asked, fully knowing that you probably won't go. Her glamourous world was lightyears away from yours. You never felt like you could fit in.

"Next weekend," she pulled you onto the sofa with her and then cuddled in close to you. Your arms wrapped around her, almost protectively as if to shield her from the words that were about to come out of your mouth.

You swallowed the lump in your throat and spit it out. "I don't think I can make it. There's-"

She cut you off "Another fitting? Another dress rehearsal? What excuse is it this time?" Lucy sat upright and looked at you with a piercing gaze, you turned away. "Y/N, something's wrong. Please tell me." She pleaded.

You looked up and gestured between her and yourself. "Look at us! I'm a nobody and you're this stratospheric, beautiful movie star!" She blushed at your words but felt her heart pang with disappointment hearing you say that about yourself. "You take the showbiz world in your stride whereas I can't! There's so many things, Lucy! We are so different!" Everything spilled out of you like bold ink on paper.

"But opposites attract." She burst and grabbed your hands and shook them as if to shake some sense into you. "Like a magnet!" She tried to laugh but it sounded like a passionate sob. "You are magnetic and I felt that the first time I saw you. I was drawn to you, Y/N. It was like a magical trance."

A tear slipped down your cheek "I'm not made for your world."

"Y/N, you are my world!" Now she was crying. Both of you could have easily filled a swimming pool- especially after she said that to you. You completely broke down and hugged each other. Lucy peppered kisses on your shoulder and you returned the gesture on hers. "I love you."

That was the first time she had proclaimed that. You looked at her with glossy eyes "I love you too."

A month later, Lucy had sent you dozens of photos of herself in the dress you had designed for her and the award show. You wish you could have went with her but duty called and you were on set dressing characters for another film. Lucy understood, she always did. She even managed to chase away your self doubt...and take you to the party you had been reserved about going to.

She danced the night away with you at it.

The time difference meant you were already in bed when she arrived on the red carpet but you stayed up long enough to watch the coverage. You smiled seeing her in the gown- she looked like a goddess. But you had to squint your eyes noticing something that you didn't pack for her to wear.

It wasn't part of the outfit you had organised for the event. It was a beautiful, tear-jerking surprise. There was an object hanging from around her neck. It twinkled in the sunshine and flashing lights of the cameras.

Infinitely worn- just like she said. Your worlds had collided.

You're my, my, my, my kind of woman

My, oh my, what a girl

You're my, my, my, my kind of women

And I'm down on my hands and knees

Begging you please, baby, show me your world

The old coke can tab necklace.

——————————

Tags- (Tag list is open! Just let me know if you want to be tagged or not or if I've forgotten to tag you!)

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rotzaprachim · 6 years

Text

trouble in the heartlands

(On AO3 : https://archiveofourown.org/works/14893509 0

November, 1975

There’s really nothing in the world that says single and lonely like standing in the check out line on Thanksgiving evening with a flat pack of dried ramen, a bottle of Jack Daniels, and a frozen turkey dinner.

(The instant ramen is his usual Thursday purchase, but the frozen turkey dinner is for festivity, and the alcohol is because of how goddamn sorry for himself he feels right now.)

He’s counted out the change in his pocket three times, done the mental math of the tax before he reached the check out because god damn, there’s been enough times in his life when he’s been short at the end of it, scrounging for pennies in his pockets.

He thought he could count on solitude at 6:30 pm on Thanksgiving day, but someone comes up behind him and throws a solitary bag of marshmallows on the till.

Someone with a very familiar set of hands, perfectly manicured nails and all.

“If it isn’t the famous Lando Calrissian.”

“Ham Solo!”

Lando is impeccably dressed, as always, wearing dark jeans and a button-up shirt with a fall leaf design and some kind of a massive, almost cloak-like, knit cardigan that would look ridiculously terrible on Han but on him just works. Like everything does.

(Han’s wearing a different flannel shirt than yesterday. He thinks. Hopes.)

Lando’s eyes flit over Han’s shopping. He tries not to notice Lando’s eyelashes. Or his lips. Or .. . . anything else about him.

“Nutritionally balanced, I see.”

“Hey! The only thing you’re buying is a bag of marshmallows.”

“These are for my mother’s famous sweet potato casserole, if you must know. Lilah and Janie stole the first bag and now she’s sans marshmallows for her annual cookoff-slash-cage match with my Aunt Tia. And so I must play the part of the dutiful son,” he finishes, over dramatically tapping the bag of marshmallows.

Han vaguely remembers that Lilah and Janie are two of Lando’s nieces. The whole situation’s domestic enough that it stabs at his insides in a wierd, uncomfortable way. Like he has feelings.

The guy in front of Han finishes paying for his approximately million rounds of ammunition- god bless America!- and the cashier starts to ring up Han’s shit.

“3.85.”

“Wait a minute. It’s supposed to be 3.35.”

“3.85. If you can’t pay, put something back.”

He does’t have the extra fifty cents. What he does have is a bent coupon book he shoves at the cashier.

“3.35. Look, the noodles are on sale.”

“The Sizzling Shrimp Surprise and the Rockin’ Wasabi were on sale. The Picante Beef, as a premium flavour, are not.”

Han’s about to fight past the overwhelming wave of humiliation at having this drama play out in front of the ex-boyfriend he has not, in fact, gotten over yet emotionally, and swap the Picante Beef for a case of Rockin’ Wasabi, when Lando places two quarters on the till.

“Should cover it.”

“I don’t need-“

“It’s fine-“

“I don’t need it.”

“Jesus, Han. You don’t have to live your entire life in some kind of fucking self-impost "lone gunman" exile. That’s not the way that humans work.”

And suddenly they’re back in a slightly different argument in a very different place, and Lando is folding his stuff to leave and Han is saying things he will never, ever, stop regretting.

“Thanks,” he mumbles, and shoves his stuff into a plastic bag to leave.

“Hey,” Lando calls after him, “you looking for somewhere to spend Thanksgiving?”

It’s a question and an invitation and Han doesn’t which is the worse coward’s way- ignoring it, or taking it up and letting the disaster start all over again, this time with bigger stakes and sharper knives and deeper wounds.

He chooses the former, and trips over a display of fake plastic pumpkins on the way out.

December, 1981

Sometimes, the entire story of the disaster can be spread out on the conveyor belt: gauze, burn cream, disinfectant, and Lando Calrissian’s ex-boyfriend, standing and looking sheepish under the glaring supermarket lights, with a splotchy red hand he keeps waving around periodically.

(Sometimes, another story is spread out beside it, on the other side of the divider, on Lando’s side of the conveyor belt. Breath mints and a box of condoms and a small bouquet of those supermarket roses.)

“You’re sure you’re fine, Han?” He doesn’t even bother with wildly mispronouncing his name. “Because whatever happened to your hand, that looks like it needs actual medical attention. Not whatever shit you’re going to try.”

“I’m. Fine.,” he insists through gritted teeth, and given how overdramatic Han usually is, his forced placidity tells Lando that it hurts like hell.

“What happened?”

“The usual badass stuff, you know. Got into a fist fight with some guys next to a tortilla chip factory, things got ugly, had to take it to one of the vats of boiling oil-“

“Calm down, friend.” Lando does some quick mental math. “Fifth night of Hannukah, yeah?”

“Yeah.”

(“Not like, a major holiday or anything,” he remembers Han saying, “but it’s the only one that’s got my name in it- well, kinda, sorta, if you really mispronounce the first ch- plus there’s fried stuff and culturally sanctioned gambling.”)

“You burn yourself frying?” He has to laugh, just a little. “What’s changed?”

“SOLO!,” a voice screams across the mostly deserted row of check out stations. The voice belongs to a fair, pale woman, wearing a long white skirt and a distinctly annoyed expression. “The pharmacist said that only an idiot could mess applying this stuff. Your hand should be fine. Probably”

She wedges her way past Lando, slams a small box with a long medical name on the till, and then snaps her purse open.

“I can pay-“

One look of her narrowed brown eyes and Han shuts up.

“Y’think I can get a robot hand like Luke’s?”

“Luke lost his entire hand as a combat injury. You lightly burned yours trying to copy some trick you saw Julia Child do once because you couldn’t find a spatula.”

Han waves his hand in front of Leia’s face. “What part of this looks lightly burned? It hurts like hell.”

“Yeah, well, so do breakups and periods, but you don’t hear people asking for robot appendages to make up for those.”

There’s something familiar in the way they bicker, but also in the way Leia wraps her arm around his shoulders and buries her head against his neck while she laughs, even though she’s still also clearly pissed about the magnitude of idiocy involved in the latke incident. Lando decides not to overanalyse it, because even on the surface level it’s enough to stab him in the heart.

When Han introduces them they swap business cards. Leia Organa, City Councilwoman. Lando Calrissian, CEO, Bespin Industries. They’re the kind of people who’d meet at a dinner party or a networking event, somewhere with crudités and boxed white wine in little glasses where they’d take turns schmoozing and cutting at the stuffed shirts and pretentious titles. That’s how, Lando swears, he and Leia Organa were meant to meet. Not here, not in a harshly lit convenience store with massive displays of fake snow and gingerbread-flavoured candy canes, and not both a little in love with Han Solo.

February, 1983

He’s not sure there’s a clearer visual representation of “single-and-recently-heartbroken” than renting a pile of romantic comedies and buying cookie dough ice cream, but it’s 2 AM and at this point he feels like the only person alive.

The supermarket’s a ghost town, something vaguely macabre about the boxes of Captain Crunch and cans of corn at this hour of the night (morning?) Jesus, he used to be a party boy. This used to be the time that the night got going and the really wild shit started to go down. This used to be the time of night that he waited the rest of the day for.

Now he’s an adult. Now he’s a respectable adult with a successful energy business and a possibly mayoral bid. When the fuck did that happen?

Now he puzzles over wether to add in a box of Lucky Charms for the morning, before deciding fuck that, he’s an adult now, bread, eggs, and Bloody Mary fixings.

It ends up being a pile of stuff he’s going to have to schlep home. Taxi? But at this time of night? He forgot to bring a reusable bag. Plastic bags? He can practically hear Elle yelling at him.

He’s still in a hazy mood as he drops his stuff onto the conveyor belt, taking care so that the Smirnoff doesn’t roll over the side, when he notices the only other guy in line with him.

Fucking hell, the universe can be weird and cruel.

"Yeah, Leia, I got it, I got it, I'm in the checkout line, anything else you need? Saltines or anything. A pause. "No, of fucking course not! I didn't mean to suffest- Well I got it and we'll get home and we'll talk and- and yeah Yeah. We'll talk." He's mumbling into his .. . cell phone? Since when does he have a cell phone? "Yeah. I love you too."

"Hen Yolo. Imagine meeting you here.”

Hen Yolo looks even more dazed and stunned than Lando does. He doesn’t even have some snappy but clearly inferior comeback, which is the sign that something really big’s gone down.;

Lando’s eyes flit to the one item Han’s buying, a small shiny box that Han keeps drumming his fingers against tunelessly. Anxiously.

Shit. Something really small, then.

“Oh,” says Lando, because even he can’t really think of how to respond to running into his fucking ex-boyfriend at 2 AM in a convenience story buying a fucking pregnancy test.

(He notices, right then, that Han still has the remnants of the burn scars across the backs of his hands, his knuckles. They look almost floral.)

“Hey,” says Han.

Instinctively, his hand snatches over to cover the test, eyes darting like cornered prey.

(It’s not beyond Lando’s notice that Councilwoman Leia Organa has become Senator Leia Organa since the last time they met. And who can forget the months of tabloid buzz over her being the secret daughter of President Vader, either?)

(Also: at some point those tabloids are going to get ahold of Han and have a field day. He looks like a doctored-ly terrible paparazzi photo most of the time anyway. And however this current situation plays out, there’s a high likelihood Han’s going to be pulled from the shadows as something more than Senator Organa’s secret boyfriend/occaisonal driver.)

“My lips are sealed, Solo.”

Han nods, distracted, almost bouncing off the balls of his feet, more nervous teenager than the 30-something man he is. He’s projecting enough rays of nervous energy to power an entire city.

The cashier doesn’t spare a glance at what Han’s buying as she rings him up. “Cash or credit?”

“Credit.”

He pulls a sturdy-looking leather wallet that Lando’s never seen before from his jeans pocket and takes out a fancy silver card.

Lando pretends to be shocked. “Credit? Han Solo with a credit card? What are you, moving up in the world? Respectable?”

He ignores Lando, shoves his purchase into a paper bag, and stalks out the door.

Maybe it’s because he’s a goddamn idiot without any sense of self-preservation either, or maybe it’s because he actually goddamn misses the man who was, for years, his best friend, but Lando makes a split decision and dashes out after Han, leaving his place in line and all his groceries still on the till.

“Solo! SOLO! HAAAAN!”

Childish, maybe, but it’s enough to make Han slow down. Not turn around, but slow down, and when he reaches his car, stop.

“What do you want?”

Because they’ve lied to each other enough times before, Lando decides to be honest.

“My old friend back.”

“Fucking hell, Lando, it’s too late for you to come pulling me back into your-“

“Not as we were, clearly. It’s far too late for that.”

“Yeah. Yeah, it definetely is.”

More awkward silence. Lando notes that the Falcon now has a bunch of Leia’s campaign stickers on it and that Han’s done. . . well at least a cursory job at cleaning the inside of it out. He’s taken some of Chewie’s fur off the seats, at least. He’s still got the gold dice.

“Hold out your arm,” Lando finally instructs.

“Why?”

“Because I'm giving you my new number and this is the only way I now you won’t loose it.”

Lando pulls a Sharpie out of his pocket while Han reluctantly rolls back a sleeve. He writes his number on Solo’s arm with big, mildly humiliating strokes, and then scrawls - Calrissian, CEO Bespin Industries, future mayor- on his wrist, just for slight irritation’s sake.

(If you got rid of of ten years, the pregnancy test, and the parking lot, and added in some terrible pounding music, a disco ball, and some terribly v-cut shirts, this could almost be the first time they met.)

“Thanks. I’ll call you.”

“I’ll hold you to it.”

“Who knows? Maybe I’ll send you an invite to one of Leia’s Shabbat dinners. They’re pretty great. All three senator Organas, her brother and whoever his current boyfriend is, her eldritch abomination of a biological father-“

“Really?”

Lando’s one experience with President Vader can only really be quantified as soul-shaking terror, but the image of him sitting down with Leia and Han at a dining table is almost hilarious.

“Nah, he’s serving a life sentence. But come anyway.”

Who knows? It’s a long life. Maybe he will.

“How’r things going for you? The mining thing really took off, didn’t it?”

“Sustainable energy, Solo. It’s made me more money than you could ever dream of-“

“Hey-“

“So I’ve been thinking about what to do with it. Sports car, mansion, creating a network of mentorship opportunities for kids in tech, sustainable development, politics, capes, paying off special interest groups. You know, the usual.”

Han smiles and bites his lip. “Have you changed at all?”

“Yes. Like I said, I’m rich.” He claps Han on the shoulder, just enough to shake the man slightly. “Enough on me. You gotta get home. You gotta get back to Leia.”

He nods and jumps into the Falcon, which rumbles as argumentatively to life as it always does.

“See you around.”

Lando watches the Falcon drive off. He decides that rescuing his groceries from the check-out line isn’t worth it, pulls out his phone, and calls a taxi.

#my writings #han solo #lando calrissian #leia organa #solo: a star wars story #sw fics #hanleia #hanlando

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crossedbeams · 6 years

Photo

ROSE REVIEWS… THE X-FILES - S1.E11 Eve

<<1.10 Fallen Angel ——————————— 1.12 Fire >>

I’m salty today and what better way than to transfer that into something positive than to finish this long overdue and almost certainly irrelevant recap of Eve. Read on for children who are almost as scary as their acting is bad, prison aesthetics and idiotic blithering by me.

THE PLOT

The fathers of creepy children are being exsanguinated on opposite coasts and Mulder wants to know the aliens have upgraded from cows. IVF suspicions run wild and with a little help from good old Deep Throat, the terrific two suspect genetic government experiments gone wrong may be responsible for the shenanigans. When the creepy kids go missing, things escalate and soda becomes a very dangerous refreshment...

Let’s go...

MY STREAM OF SEMI-CONSCIOUSNESS

Ah. The X-Files, the show that is always a scenic autumnal bath for my eyes…. And where under the leaves there is probably a dead person eaten by a molewoman or an alien. Honey? I’m home.

We find ourselves in an idyllic suburban neighbourhood, (always bad news on screen), where very concerned joggers approach an underdressed child and her stuffed animal. It’s hard at this stage to decipher whether the kid is creepy or just a really bad actor but the suspense synth hardly encourages us to give her the benefit of the doubt...

They head to the backyard, where peppy jogging neighbour fails to notice that the kid’s dad is dead coloured, posed like a corpse and basically, stereotypically and obviously dead... until he claps him jovially on the shoulder causing a tragicomic half slump of dead dad, and exposing vampiric looking marks. The kid screams, not sure why, she’s way too far away to see anything. This is the point at which I begin to suspect that she is both a bad actor AND entry #224 in the Vancouver local listing of Creepy Kids for Hire. Move over Conduit boy!

CREDITS!

This week we only wait 2.5 mins for our special baby Agents to materialise, Scully dressed as a Catholic grade schooler and Mulder wearing a tie designed, as far as I can tell, to look like mushroom soup with licorice allsorts floating in it.

Their poor fashion choices don’t seem to put them off them though, and we zigzag between lip biting (Mulder), making weird moany noises (Scully), and the level of inter office eye contact we’ve come to expect from these fluffy baby agents all set to a soundtrack of cattle mutilation chatter. And our series first (!) cow slideshow!

Scully is still naive enough to ask why Mulder believes cattle mutilation is linked to aliens. Give it a few weeks and you’ll realise that aliens is pretty much always the answer to “Why….” on the X-Files and that eyebrow is the only appropriate response before you just go with it.

I can’t wait :D

As Mulds and Sculls traverse some stairs, I realise that creepy kid #1 is called Teena. Spelled the same as Mulder’s mum. Because apparently the X-Files name bank isn’t only shallow in the male department. Also is Teena a normal spelling in the States? Here it’d only really be Tina….

I then get distracted by Scully in the biggest of purple coats. I’d love to see S1 Scully’s closet. A symphony of oversized pastels with overcoats to clash… don’t worry though hon. You’ll get some style later though for the bargain price of two (2) family members and also your ova. Poor Scully.

Scully also looks incredibly young in this scene, speaking all soft to the kid. Moments like this I struggle to believe that Mulder “never saw her as a mom” until Home. She’s all melty round the edges even though the kid is weird and creepy.

When creepy Teena starts talking about red lightning, the massively coached and unnatural pauses in dialogue and the trouble pronouncing exsanguination are just so glaring you can’t believe that this kid’s innocent charade will hold up as long as it does. But it all adds to the creep, just in time for…

**bring bring ** Scully leans in to kiss her spoopy partner tell Mulder there has been another murder. Darn. Seriously though. Close talkin to the power on uuuungghhh right here. No wonder this fandom is so thirsty.

We’re in Vancouver San Franciso, still in giant coats, for another exsanguination and what we now know is death by digitalis. Mulder says that the two estimated times of death were at the “exact same time” and I chuckle to myself like the pedant I am. Estimates cannot be exact dumdum. It also takes the edge off him mansplaining timezones to Scully. SHE IS A MEDICAL DOCTOR DAMMIT.

This scene has very nice warm, sunsetty lighting which is nice as our Spooksters demonstrate why the X-Files department is always over budget; they’ve flown cross country to do two laps of a crime scene while reading a file aloud and the kid they wanna question isn’t even in town. Where is she? I’m glad you asked, coz remember that sunny warmness? Well it’s over.

Back on the east coast, creepTeena is getting outcreeped by a thunderstorm and what appear to be disembodied footsteps at her door. We see nothing but a flash and then the door is open. It’s tense and I’m pretty sure this is never explained, raised as a concern beyond “she got abducted”?

A new day means new suits, Mulder in a tie inspired by parquet flooring and Scully in eggshell and pinstripes and a brown trenchcoat named regret. It’s a lot to process and they still don’t seem overly concerned about Teena’s kidnapping. Despite his post Samantha abduction PTSD, Mulder’s only contribution is a dramatic sky point and the suggestion the cops need to look up, but then dun dun dduuuuunh - there’s another one.

Sinister Cindy in the house. Literally.

She informs them she has lived there “since she was born eight years ago”. Zero inflection with that info and a sentence structure as unnatural as the phenomena Mulder wants to blame. Deffo a rent-a-creepykid. 100%. The woodenness only adds to it.

Commence super awkward kitchen convo where they Mulder and Scully try and fail to find a tactful way to imply Cindy might not be this grieving wife’s legitimate child. A birthing video is offered and declined. Thank god. Imagine is CHris Carter had to watch rushes of an actual woman’s vagina with a female child emerging.

Mrs Reardon’s insistence that Cindy was daddy’s girl is pretty horrifying once you know how it ends. Damn creepy kids. Listening in while watching politics, Cindy is infinitely creepier than Teena and I don’t know if that’s a good thing or not for this kid “actor”.

Back in the car and Mulder is still pretty blase about Teena’s abduction/kidnap, though I forgive him because his flippant potato/potahto is adorable and he does hang out in the bushes to try and protect Cindy from getting nabbed sending Scully off to the IVF clinic alone. Ahh... the foreshadowing is out there.

At the Luther Stapes Medical Centre, a doctor mansplains IVF to Scully. She does not punch him. Another way that she is better than me.She does however, maintain super intense eye contact with him for the entire walk and truly it is a miracle she doesn’t fall over.

The next scene is pretty uneventful except that I can honestly say that Sally Kendrick is the last human I would want toying with my cervix. She’s...robotic and it looks like she has to work out how to sit down like a human. She could give Theresa May lessons.

Back at the hotel there’s some funky camera panning that I am here for and also I think there is some dialogue but let’s be honest.... this is more important

Yes Professor I would like some extra credit and may I also just smooth your poofy hair.

Even Scully knows it. Hence her confusion at being ushered out, for no obvious reason. She just wants to look at him and maybe get inside his shirt and ... and... Mulder’s “what’s a girl” is cute.... but this is cuter. (even more overanalysing of this scene here for ya glasses lovers).

Instead of meeting a girl, Mulder meets Deep Throat in an excessively aesthetically pleasing place. Honestly, Eve is a beautiful episode. Despite the creepy kids and imprisoned women. (Eve Aesthetic here). DT seems very concerned that Scully not be invited and while I’m sure that this has some link to the possibility of spy!Scully, it reads more as jealous older manfriend wants pretty Mulder to himself. And honestly I get it. God, fic has ruined me. Anyway, enough of that, enjoy this picture of pensive waterside Mulder and try to recall the specifics of the Deep Throat reveal. Project Blah. Boys called Adam. Girls called Eve. Clones. Bad. Disaster. EVE-il is at work. ¬¬ (sorry)

Mulder has brought sunflower seeds because meeting an informant without snacks = rookie error.

The important thing to note is that Deep Throat basically sets the stage for the Super Soldier Arc and everyone forgets about it when they actually get to the super soldier arc. God, for a continuity pedant, my fave is SO problematic!

Deep Throat finishes by telling Mulder he’s scored him front row seats to what’s left of the whole fucked up thing.

Cut to the most aesthetic Institute for the criminally insane and after some hot DAMN camera angles we get panic buttons and a tromp into the deeps where they keep all the government created monsters, including Eve 6.

I just wanna take a moment away from my snark and give a huge shout out to Harriet Harris who is SO good and creepy in this episode. A lot of the Season 1 extras/bit parts are average to the extreme and honestly, Harris makes this episode. Without her eyeball biting, jerky, wild eyed delivery, this ep would be as mediocre as the creepy twin actresses.

Now we’ve got that out of the way - we find out that Eve 6 screams when the lights are on but is fine with an industrial sized flashlight being shone all up in her face. Nobody’s ever got a good look at her... except presumably the person who undoes her straitjacket so she can pee? And now Mulder and Scully.

Eve 6 is my fave Eve tbh. She’s this perfect mix of terrifying and pitiful, alludes to the telekinetic connection that the younger Eve twins later reference, and is the kind of proof of government misdeed that and older Mulder and Scully despair of, delivered while they’re way too young in their partnership to do anything about it. She tells them that Eves are into suicide, psychosis and murder, and on exiting, our baby agents still don’t suspect the kids.

(Break for actual analysis) It struck me during this scene how this case tunes into both Mulder and Scully’s demons. For Mulder, it’s the missing girls and the incarcerated Eve represents a scenario that could explain Samantha’s absence in the most horrifying ways. What if she is a locked up experiment just like Eve 6? For Scully it’s a visceral representation of her struggle between scientific duty and Christian morality. The creation of Eve 6 is an aberration against both good scientific practice AND the divine right of Good to control life and death... and yet she is also a victim who did not choose too be engineered and while Scully tries to question her, maintaining composure, this face/stress swallow really says it all.

Just to double the sucker punch we cut to Cindy asking the lord to take her soul, her mother looking on with a mournful doomladen stare before telling her daughter how special she is. Cindy is unmoved, because she is special(ly evil) and Mama Reardon leaves, bereft of her husband and unacknowledged by her kid. We get it Chris Carter. Genetic experimentation BAD, family GOOD, foreboding, CHECK.... now can we just-

Mulder Scully stakeout! There is no iced tea in the bag and when Mulder posits that the adult Eves 7 & 8 did done the murders, Scully pulls this face, and mutters without much conviction that she was beginning to suspect the girls.

GOOD CALL SCULLY

Except Mulder then says “no no and here is why” and Scully just goes with it. The whole delivery at set up of this scene feels very Season 1, by which I mean Scully vacillates wildly between submitting to Mulder’s experience and being done.with.his.shit, Mulder gets all the big lines/theories/feelings/hunches and Gillian especially (and David to a lesser degree) seem unsure how to play their nuances and dynamic. Essentially it all becomes irrelevant because CRISIS takes precedent but being the super-nerd I am, this stuff fascinates me as evidence of them still learning their characters. No way S5 Scully gives up on a plausible theory so easily, even if it makes 8-yos into suspects. If cats can be evil, these staring, soulless kids can be too.

Cue Mark Snow jangles and Cindy and her similar to Teena’s bunny rabbit run away from her terrifying wall dolls and many crucifixes towards the window where she makes terrifying eye contact with Scully’s binoculars before getting grabbed by someone who is considerate enough to announce themselves by turning on the lights?!.

Mulder will take the back! (any time Mulder. Any way ¬¬ ) and sets off with his almost convincingly held gun/torch combo while Scully takes the indoors. This is, invariably, only going to go one way.

DOWN GOES SCULLY!

Sally Kendrick/Eve? leaps through the window where Mulder confronts her by asking her which Eve she is, allowing her a chance to pull a gun, shoot at him and escape and this is why you don’t want S1 Muldo and Sculls handling your home invasion. I mean who holds their gun like this, takes out a psychopath and ends the day without a hole in them?

Fox “Thinks he can outrun a car” Mulder is who.

I love his idiot face though.

Despite the fact that Cindy didn’t struggle/scream/react to her apparent kidnap at all, Scully’s remaining focussed on the adult Eves in support of Mulder’s dismissal of her earlier theory... well I already said it but - *sigh*

After Scully briefs the police and Mulder tries to reassurea distraught Mrs Reardon that her increasingly abnormal daughter will be found we get the kind of side by side, meaningful moment that I am here for all day long. Except that the height difference is so extreme that they never actually get Scully in focus!

And Scully’s “and then what” brings us back to unsettling truth that even if the kid gets found, things aren’t looking good for her given how much murder is in her genes. Poor Mrs Reardon.

Very X-Files, through-the-motel-sign shot and we see Sally Kendrick taking Cindy into motel to meet Teena. The girls look... creepy... and Kendrick looks weirdly and simplistically happy given that she has multiple abductees, severe genetic issues and the FBI on her back. Maybe poor old Sal just wants a normal life? Unlucky girl, this is the X-Files, no happy ending for anyone EVERR. Except possibly a two-faced rapist who likes Cher but that’s for another time.

Back to Sally Kendrick who is rocking a poloneck and showing a remarkable lack of nutritional concern for someone supposedly a genius. Pretty sure 8 cartons of fries are no better for psychotic murder-kids than regular ones. She begins to explain that she was pretty hopeful that she’s evolved the murdering out of her second batch of Eves but turns out she actually made it worse! Let’s pop a check in the box for “playing into popular concerns about genetic testing” and “reasons you shouldn’t do it yourself”. She tells Cindy and Teena she’s “disappointed” that they’ve done murders ahead of the curve. They are not bothered which is unsurprising given they don’t know her/are psychopaths.

Aesthetically this scene is very pleasing and the lack of stilted kid dialogue “we just knew” vs. long sentences definitely adds to tension. As does the total lack of background music. Hearing even these fairly limited actors candidly and remorselessly admit to murder is effective. And Kendrick’s slightly desperate plea that they not think that way, that they be “better” as she designed has the double effect of showing her own Eve-y instability and her very human desire to not have made a horrible mistake in creating this terrifying she-devils.

Sorry Sal.

Genetic destiny’s a bitch

And the X-Files narrative demands that when you play god you get dead. unless you’re the CSM in which case you probably drink digitalis and kale for breakfast to aid skin regrowth. Bye bye Sally Kendrick. Thanks for the creepers.

On attending the crime scene, Mulder and Scully are midway through being told that the scene is undisturbed when they hear stuff breaking. This prompts some X-Files-Action-MagicTM and some truly outrageous faces by Gillian.

Yup

What is most disturbing on rewatching is that with the scene secured, Scully confirms death and Mulder goes to gaze out the window while the Creeper twins cower and cry on the floor. Noe we know they’re guilty AF by this point, but in the narrative DumbScull and MulderingItOver haven’t quite got there because they’ve been too busy gazing at each other so we have two children just whimpering in the corner while Scully pokes a corpse and Mulder mulders about.

Scully does eventually go and pat them. And again I say fuck you CC and anyone else who “didn’t see her as a mother”.

Mulder volunteers to chaperone the creepsters to hospital and beyond and the guy in charge kinda just goes “meh”. Pretty sure some liberties have been taken with child service procedures but hey, at least this means we’re almost at the crescendo moment. Right?

Having loaded them into the car, where their spiffy red outfits match the velour upholstery and promised they’ll talk about “what happens next” (again, is this really FBI jurisdiction? Fox Mulder counselling bereaved kids seems like a HORRIBLE plan to me) , Scully and Mulder note the girls attachment and somehow miss the horrifying expressions of murder on their creepy little faces.

Again though #aesthetic

Cue some spangly night driving music, Mulder looking all pops over a red vinyl steering wheel, Scully playing mom and the creepsters plotting murder in the back. Ver ver X-Files. They pull up to a used car lot masquerading as a rest stop and go for a group wee,Mulder makes the rookie error of a) hyping evil kids with sugar and b) letting them order a murder weapon, and as soon as Scully’s distracted, one of the creepsters, possibly Sinister Cindy creeps out to spike the drinks.

Now at this point, honestly, I’m questioning the kids narrative motives. Yes they’re murderous, but aren’t they also meant to be hyper intelligent? Amd getting marooned at a nowhere rest stop, with the corpses of two FBI agents seems SUPER dumb. Like they’re a bit small and loudly dressed to hitch a ride to Vegas and make it on the strip. What gives, creepsters?

The waitress tries to stop her plan by insisting she wait to take the soda until it’s paid for, but is way too easily placated by the kids excuse. Stick to your guns lady, you might just stop a murder.

Although apparently nobody is paying any attention because THIS ISN’T SUSPICIOUS AT ALL IS IT?

Apparently Mulder doesn’t think so, even knowing digitalis is sweet and that there is something weird afoot, he doesn’t question his super sweet diet drink or the kids totally normal and not at all weirdly resistant to drinking sugar free soda and just does this. Seriously it’s like he wants to die in agony.

Scully’s not much better, simply commenting on the “syrupy” taste. MMhmm. Bitch. You’re a medical doctor with a previously voiced suspicion. Quit sipping the murder juice.

Fortunately, after some suspenseful drawn out paying and a forgotten key excuse, Mulder FINALLY twigs when he finds some green goop on the table. Apparently murderTwin is cackhanded when she pours and Mulder, having licked the poison just to check it’s murdery enough (I just cant even) rushes outside to karate chop Scully’s drink away from her in a way so unsubtle that the creepers escape.

Which is actually great news because it gives us all the chance for a nice dark, X-Files bread and butter cat and mouse around a truckstop, cool lighting and tubey-arty stuff sequence. Which I’m here for.

Despite some pants ruining puddles, the twins are quickly apprehended except for some gun wielding truckers interfere because in this universe regular citizens can hold law enforcement at gunpoint and prevent them doing their job/identifying themselves and anyway everyone almost gets shot and the kids run off again. I should probably insert some pithy political point here about arming the kids too but I’ve been writing this review for 84 years and I don’t have the energy.

Fortunately, at this point Mulder and Scully rediscover some investigative nous and having flashed an ID and truckboy, they trick Sinister and Creepy into thinking they’ve sped off after a school bus. Mulder goes full on child catcher and nabs them with a “gotcha” and is finally deaf to their “we’re just little girls” plea.

I’d like to take a second to flag up his response “that’s the last thing you are” because he’s wrong too. They are little girls, as well as psychopaths, and everyone’s insistence that they must be one thing or another is a device for narrative obfuscation as old as the bible. The appearance of beauty/youth/innocence is not mutually exclusive of the presence of malign intent or evil. Just ask Henry James/Oscar Wilde. Or me. I literally wrote a dissertation on this so. Yeah. They can be little girls and killers Mulder. Don’t be reductive.

But I guess we do need the simplicity of “this kid is evil” otherwise Mrs Reardon ripping her daughter out of a picture and burning it would be more conflicting and we’re only on season 1.

Likewise the disturbing concept of two eight year olds in a secure prison. I mean yes thy’re creepy but - duh duh dunnnnh - rescue is at hand! Eve 8 shows up for them and once again thy “just knew”. This is the kind of X-Files ending I love. This is the kidn of story I would have loved the revivals to pick up. Imagine (recast) grown Cindy and Teena, off doing murdery clone stuff. Yep. Okay. I’m done now. This is the end.

Except the score. Which is...

A solid “C” Grade (26/50)

Plot 6/10 - It’s entertaining and a good idea but I penalised it because it depends on Mulder and Scully being super slow on the uptake. That said, they do actually solve the case.

Mulder 6/10 - Mulder is in charge (thanks S1) and presents a mess of grieving brother, heroic car catcher and good cop. Good, in character stuff but not exceptional.

Scully 4/10 - Scully seems to forget she’d an MD and a badass here. She lets Mulder talk her out of (correct) suspicions, gets taken down in the action scene and generally second fiddles. She’s a cute mom but not the Scully we want to see.

USP 3/5 - This was an ambitious idea, beautifully presented, and while it didn’t quite get the polish to make it iconic it is memorable, creepy and a good representation of S1 bread and butter eps.

Other Characters 5/10 - These points are all for Harriet Harris. None for you creeper twins. None for you.

Bonus points 2/10 - One for being aesthetically pleasing. One for the dorky, cute, feeling out Mulder/Scully moments (motel urnghh) and also their mom and pop act at the rest stop.

That’s all for now folks. I’ll probably have the next one done this decade. Fire. Goodie.

<< 1.10 Fallen Angel ——————————— 1.12 Fire >>

#The X-Files #msr #Eve #txf #txf:1x11 #txf eve #txf s1 #rose reviews #rosereviewstxf #txf recaps #silliness #my gifs #RoseReviewTXF

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tipsycad147 · 5 years

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7 Ways To Use Magic For The Zodiac: Cancer

SL Bear

July is the season of the Crab and to celebrate, I’m dedicating this post to Cancer witches! Here, I’ll be providing some Cancer self-care tips and ways to counter some natural weaknesses. There are also a few treats included for the Crab seeking love, or those needing a quick recharge of those great Cancerian traits. So get cosy, Cancer, this one’s for you.

Soft-Shell Crab

Cancer is a water sign, ruled by the moon. Like the tides, a Cancer’s mood can rise and fall, changing rapidly depending on outside influences — usually the people they surround themselves with. Cancer seeks equilibrium and needs to feel comfortable and loved, and when they don’t, their moods can go dark. They are empathetic creatures who feed off the emotions of others and try their hardest to make the ones they love feel good. However, they are also hypersensitive, and if they don’t feel that love returned, Cancer will overanalyse and panic. While this sweet nature is an asset in so many ways, it also unconsciously gives people a lot of power over you. Not good! It’s fantastic to love with your whole heart, you just need to make sure your heart is protected in the process. So how can this be achieved?

Whenever you feel the balance start to shift, and you’re giving more than you get, don’t get moody — just pull back! While people love that you’re so thoughtful (always thinking of ways to do something unexpected and kind), remember that it’s not a relationship requirement that you give ‘til it hurts. And even if they don’t show it in the same way you do, that doesn’t mean you aren’t loved. One of my best friends growing up was a Cancer and she used to buy me cards once a week with paragraphs written inside describing why she was happy to be my friend. It was the most thoughtful and kind thing ever, and all my bone-headed self could think of to express my gratitude was to just say thanks. That’s it! It was so much less effort than she made but that didn’t mean I didn’t value her friendship. Keep that in mind, Cancer — you will always be dealing with people who give about 75% or less when you give 200%.

So, when you feel you aren’t getting enough in return (and it will happen a lot), stop and treat yourself like you do your family and friends. Instead of spending a lot of energy on others for a change, take a break and do those things for yourself and remember your Cancer self-care.

Clean your house, light some candles, and make it cosy. Cancers rely heavily on a safe and comfortable home, so instead of tending to others, tend to your own space. Cleanse with sage. Take care of anything that’s been neglected. Turn your ringer off and make this time all about making your home a little brighter.

Return to the water. As a Cancer, water is your sanctuary. Go swimming or take a long bath with all the extras (salts, bubbles, candles). If you live by a lake or the sea, go spend an hour by the water’s edge and meditate, or bring some music and just relax. Most importantly, do not bring your phone. Be unreachable during this time so that your only focus is you.

Volunteer. The simple truth is, Cancers love feeling needed and being helpful. While this can be draining when you’re constantly doing it for the same people and getting little in return, it will feel amazing doing it for people or causes who really do need you. I usually don’t like it when people just say “volunteer!” as a solution to a personal problem, but in Cancer’s case, it will be a great way to get out of your head while doing something good for others.

Practice being alone and feeling satisfied with just yourself as company. Cancers can get a little needy and the best way to break yourself of this habit (that only hurts you) is to find enjoyable solo hobbies. This way, when someone doesn’t come through with the energy you need, you can retreat and find comfort in yourself.

Collect moonstones! Cancer is ruled by the moon and will have a natural affinity for these lovely, powerful stones. And just like the moonstone, Cancers can recharge themselves in the moonlight. Spend some time basking in the white glow when you feel mentally or physically drained.

Play To Your Strengths

Cancer excels at protection spells, especially protection of the home and the ones they love. However, because Cancers have such big hearts and love so easily, they are vulnerable to those who’d take advantage of them. Don’t forget to protect yourself, too! Carry tourmaline to ward off negative energy and people, and be wary of those who seem too good to be true.

Cancers are also incredibly intuitive. Because they are so attuned to the people around them, they are excellent people to ask advice and are usually uncanny at zeroing in on what you need to hear — whether you want to or not. This is exactly what makes Cancer such an excellent witch, especially in divination.

Hydromancy is an old form of divination using water. You can drop pebbles into the water and read ripples in the water’s surface or whisper words over the water and wait for answers. One method includes dropping some oil into the water and observing the forms created as the oil twists along the water’s surface. Candles can be set around a bowl of water, and their flickering reflections interpreted. This can also be achieved with sunlight or, more ideally, moonlight. However you choose to work with the water, as a Cancer you will be especially talented at reading its secrets. Combining this form of divination with the moon will be extra powerful for Cancers seeking answers.

Cancerian Altar Spell

Cancers in love are happy creatures, especially if they’ve found partners who go above and beyond to treat them right. Naturally a little co-dependent, Cancers seek out partnerships and do well in pairs — not even necessarily romantic pairs! Even their glyph, the distinctive “69”, is a reference to duality, yin and yang, and partnership.

This spell is an attraction spell for Cancers looking for love. It’s designed to showcase the great Cancerian traits and draw out those who will be most attracted and best suited to those traits. If you’ve got your eye on a specific person, I’ve included a loophole in the spell for that situation. However, this spell is all about compatibility and if the one you’re after isn’t that great of a match, the spell won’t be as effective.

Best time to perform this spell: With the full moon of course! If you have a cycle, perform this spell a week after your period starts.

You will need:

The Chariot tarot card

White rose petals, freshly cut

Vervain

Milk

Rose oil

Shells, any will do though cowrie shells are best

Rose quartz

Moonstones

Two small mirrors

A warm bath

Pink salt if you can get it, though sea salt will work

Seven red candles

To begin, prepare your candles. On each of the seven candles, carve one trait you are seeking in a mate, then dab a little rose oil over the word.

Next, prepare your bath. Drop your rose petals in and stir the bath seven times. Next comes your milk — just a few tablespoons will do — your vervain, and your salt. Stir again.

Set your candles along the edge of the bath where they will be reflected in the water, but in no danger of falling in, and light them in order of importance of each trait you’ve chosen. Place one mirror behind you at the head of the bath, and one mirror at the foot of the bath where you will be able to see your reflection. Set the Chariot card near or behind one of the red candles — somewhere it can be front and center while not at risk of falling into the water. Between each red candle place a moonstone. If you only have one, place it by the Chariot card.

Now, in one hand take a few shells and in the other, take a rose quartz. Step into the bath and stir the water gently seven times. Raise your hands palm side up in front of you, with the quartz and shells on display.

Recite these words:

"On this altar, I offer my love

To the one worthy of me

Who will nourish and protect

Love and respect

Send them straight to me"

Lean down to the water’s surface and whisper these words:

"Don’t leave me blind

Guide my way

Help me find"

Keep a careful eye on the candlelight reflections in the water and take a mental note of any shapes or images that appear now. These are your clues to help you recognise your new lover when they come into your life. As the water settles and you become more accustomed to reading these clues, they will become more pronounced and certain shapes will repeat. These are the ones to take special note of.

Still holding the quartz and shells, sprinkle water on your arms, shoulders, and top of your head. Extinguish your candles with droplets of water from your bath.

If you have a specific person in mind, this spell can be altered slightly by adding a white candle and writing his or her name on it. On the seven red candles, write the reasons why you want this person — their specific traits that attract you. Change the line in the spell “to the one worthy of me” to “to [their name].” Finally, instead of reading the water for clues about a new lover, ask for guidance on how to win the heart of the one you want.

This ritual does not need to be repeated unless you’d like more practice reading the candlelight reflections or you were unclear of any signs. Otherwise, one bath will suffice!

So, happy birthday, Cancerians! I hope you have an amazing month, find what you’re looking for, and enjoy every moment.

And don’t forget to put yourself first sometimes — no one deserves it more!

Do you know how to enhance your magic, improve your intent, and get kick ass results from your spells all at once?

If you don’t, then you need to be utilising the amazing energy system inherent to the human magical system. Tapping into this energy system allows you to understand the magic you’re using on a far deeper level and achieve results that will blow your mind.

In The Witch’s Energy System, I’ll break down the entire system into easy to use pieces so that you can learn to see, feel, and make use of this energy in a way that will completely change how you view your own magic.

Learn More Here >>

https://thetravelingwitch.com/blog/2018/7/8/7-ways-to-use-magic-for-the-zodiac-cancer

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fashiontrendin-blog · 6 years

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How To Gain Weight The Healthy Way

http://fashion-trendin.com/how-to-gain-weight-the-healthy-way-2/

How To Gain Weight The Healthy Way

Fitness is on what you might call a bulking phase. As of May 2017, there were almost 10m Brits sweating away at the gym every month, according to market aggregator Leisure DB, an increase of 5.1 per cent on the previous year. The same report also values the UK gym industry at a staggering £4.7 billion. In the US, over 55 million people had a gym membership in 2015, with figures no doubt continuing to climb in the years since the data was collected.

Whichever way you look at it, fitness is big business. Bolstered by the trend for wellness, calisthenics, yoga, CrossFit, and a generally more holistic outlook, more and more men are joining the local sweat box. But, for some – dare we say, the majority – deep down, a single desire remains: the desire to bulk up, gain weight, build muscle, and fill out those T-shirts for a summer body.

Of course, for some, how to gain weight is simple: you eat a lot and lift heavy weights. For others, it can be more difficult. Hitting the gym five days a week and seeing no gains? Knocking back 4,000 calories a day, to no avail? Tried every protein powder on the shelf but nothing’s working? A number of factors could be at play (try cutting out the cardio, for example – you don’t want to burn off muscle mass if you’re trying to grow). However, Luke Grahame, muscle-bound trainer at London’s high-end private gym Roar Fitness, has one particular bugbear:

“Show me a skinny guy who can’t put on weight and I’ll show you a skinny guy who doesn’t eat enough,” he says. “Whilst genetics, exceptionally high metabolisms, and extreme ectomorphic (skinny) body types do exist and have a part to play, the number one reason that some people struggle to gain weight is simply that they don’t eat enough. It’s a common trait of so-called ‘hardgainers’ to grossly overestimate what they eat, and inversely underestimate how much food is required to build genuine muscle.”

Let’s unpack that. First of all, ‘ectomorph’ refers to a person with a naturally svelte physique, like Russell Brand or Jarvis Cocker. The other body types to be aware of are ‘endomorph’ and ‘mesomorph’. The former describes a pear-shaped body with a tendency to store fat. Think: Jack Black. The latter describes a muscular and well built body with a fast metabolism and muscle cells that respond quickly and efficiently to exercise. Think: Zac Efron. Knowing which body type best describes you (and being honest about it) is a good place to start.

A ‘hardgainer’ meanwhile, is a person who practises bodybuilding techniques, but finds it difficult to gain weight. Naturally, their opposite number is the ‘easygainer’. And if the latter describes you, you’re reading the wrong article.

Of course, any attempt to get fitter is great. According to NHS figures, in 2016, 26% of UK adults were considered obese. Meanwhile, in the US, obesity rates have reached 35% in five states, with the lowest instance at 22.3% in Colorado. And we needn’t tell you that carrying all this extra heft around can have significant and fatal consequences now and in later life.

Building strength and (although not necessarily) muscle mass, is a side-effect of any exercise, and the focus should always be on a balanced approach to working out, and your own functionality. What’s the use of having arms the size of fire hydrants if you can’t lift them over your head?

Likewise, it’s not exactly healthy seeking self-worth in how your body looks. Mind, the mental health charity, classes body dysmorphia as a mental health disorder, which can lead to a whole host of secondary problems from depression to alcoholism. Similarly, relying on steroids to add muscle mass may seem like a short cut, but alongside immediate side effects like acne and aggression, some steroids have also been show to lead to heart attack, stroke, and death.

To help you safely navigate the pitfalls of bulking up, here’s how to gain weight naturally, and in a way that won’t compromise your health or happiness.

In The Kitchen

You’ve worked out which body type you have, have a rough idea of how much weight you want to gain, and how many calories you take in each day. Now what? Most people think it’s a good idea to work out your resting metabolic rate (or RMR) – how many calories you burn when you’re resting in front of Netflix. Grahame disagrees:

“Forget about calculating RMR (it’s likely inaccurate anyway). Track what you eat for a week by logging in a calorie tracking app (you know the one…) and take the average. This is what currently maintains your bodyweight, and therefore it’s not enough. Add another 500 kcal on top of your daily intake. If you gain weight, keep eating the same amount of calories. If you don’t gain weight after three weeks add another 250 – 500kcal to your daily intake. Repeat until the gains start to come.”

This might sound a rather slap-dash approach, but remember, the aim here is to gain weight, not to carve out a six-pack. If that is your aim, you can reduce calories safely and gradually once you’ve attained the weight you’re looking for. As such, there’s no point splitting hairs at this point about specific macros.

“When looking to gain weight, don’t overanalyse finely detailed macronutrient splits. You need proteins, carbs, and fats, and you need lots of them. Set protein at a minimum 2g per kg bodyweight. For example, a skinny 70kg male would need 140g protein minimum. Split the rest of the calories between carbs and fats – the ratio is unimportant at this point, just make sure there’s lots of them,” says Luke.

“In terms of meal frequency, the most important factor is getting all the necessary food/calories in by the end of the day. With this is in mind, and factoring for the hardgainers’ notorious lack of appetite, it’s worth noting that five meals of 600kcal average a day are likely easier to stomach than three meals of 1000 kcal average a day (based on a daily caloric intake of 3000 kcal).”

So what should you be piling on your plate? Fad diets like Atkins advise sticking to a low carb diet. This is the antithesis of a bulking diet, as carbs replenish your muscles energy stores, helping you work out again the next day, and giving you a fuller, more rounded look. The GOMAD diet, however, suggests you drink a gallon of milk per day. Which, while packed with calcium and protein, really doesn’t make much sense. Not only that, if you’re mixing your protein shakes with milk, you’ll take on an additional 400 calories per drink. And while you’re trying to up your calories, 400 extra calories that you aren’t keeping track of will quickly contribute to your belly – the wrong kind of bulking. Stick to water and some energy sups instead.

According to Grahame, if you stock the following items in your kitchen and consume them as per the ratios outlined above, you won’t go far wrong (note the lack of chocolate and ice cream – we aren’t interested in the ‘dirty bulk’. Sorry):

15% fat steak mince

Chicken thighs

Oats

Rice

Eggs

Green vegetables

Pain & Gain

As almost any gym-goer will know, gaining weight isn’t as simple as rocking up to the local gym and going hell for leather with the dumbbell exercises. Nor is it about spending every session working your chest. Balance is key, and compound moves that bring in all areas of the body will help you build size quickly. As such, the bench press, squat, and deadlift are essential to your arsenal.

Whatever your exercise plan, time under tension is important. In other words, slowly lowering each weight before quickly pushing/pulling it up again. Because your muscles have to struggle under strain for longer, they’ll be forced to adapt to handling heavy weights. When it comes to weights, start with a manageable one, and aim to up the weight each week.

“Rather than splitting the body parts up into arm days or shoulder days, my advice to skinny guys looking to get bigger is to train the whole body every session – hard, heavy, and frequently – using big compound movements. Blunt trauma rather than fine needlework,” advises Grahame.

Two to three sets of 6-12 controlled reps is better for muscle growth than pumping out 15 quick and messy reps. Sure, you could do this, but it’d only lead to imbalances, which will immobilise your progress further down the line. Train everything slowly and evenly, and your triceps and biceps, glutes and thighs will work in tandem, as they were designed to do.

With that in mind, here’s Grahame’s beginner workout. Complete this circuit three times per week with four sets of 9-11 reps per exercise. Perform it at a 3.0.1.0 tempo (three seconds decline, one second push). Most importantly, use your rest days for growth and repair, not cardio.

The Full-Body Weight Gain Workout

1. BARBELL FRONT SQUAT rest 90 seconds

2. PULL UPS rest 90 seconds

3. BARBELL DEADLIFT rest 90 seconds

4. INCLINE DUMBBELL CHEST PRESS rest 2-3 min

Know How To Grow

Nutrition and exercise are the most important factors for growth but they aren’t the only things you need to consider. If you’re still having difficulty gaining weight, lifestyle factors could well be to blame.

Illness

Naturally, being under the weather means you may not feel like pumping iron. Which is fine. The problem is trying to push through instead of recovering. Do this and you could cause inflammation and torn muscles or cartilage damage which can take a lot longer to heal and derail your plans.

Sleep

Conor McGregor might train at all hours, but it’s unlikely that you have quite as much time to devote to training as him. Stick to regular hours and get plenty of sleep to allow recovery and growth to happen. Blue light from TV, laptop and phone screens can stimulate the brain at bed time, preventing you from dropping off. As can exercising too close to bed time. Opt for an earlier session and a no-screens in the bedroom rule to ensure optimum recovery and weight gain.

Cardio

You may naturally feel like a runner or cyclist. But maintaining your cardio addiction while trying to bulk up won’t work. While cardio is great for cutting fat, it’ll also toast the calories you ned to fire muscle growth, and sap the energy required to lift heavy, muscle-growing weights. So put your running shoes away for now – or at least cut back to one session per week.

Supplements

If you favour energy drinks and bars to help give you a boost in the gym, fine. But watch out for sugar and stimulant content. An over-reliance can lead to you staying awake when you should be resting, and even over-training to injury. Some trainers swear by multivitamins, amino acids and creatine. Others skip the supps entirely. Experiment, and see what works for you.

Stress

We’re all stressed in one way or another, but try to deal with it. Too much of the stress hormone cortisol can interfere with testosterone production and slow down muscle growth, reducing your gains. Plus, too much cortisol can even lead to the breakdown of the muscle you already have. A good way to chill out is to cut out the coffee (or at least replace it with tea), as caffeine places the body in stress mode, starting the process of cortisol release. Plus, it’s difficult to lift weights with the jitters.

Rest

Yes, you want to bulk up as quickly as possible. And yes, it’s addictive once you start. But have a day off every now and then and you’ll see benefits more quickly. Not only will overdoing it likely lead to injury, but none stop training will over strain your muscles without giving them time to grow and recover, which is exactly the point. So, have a day off in front of the TV once or twice a week. Forget about training for the time being and don’t beat yourself up if progress seems slow. Having a bigger chest isn’t the most important thing in the world, after all.

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