#overcoming shame

[safe-haven-safe-place]

@keeleyshawart

#mental health #self care #recovery #healing #positive thoughts #positivity #self love #self worth #anxiety relief #still growing #self compassion #overcoming shame

[femaleavoidant]

Shame is the opposite of art. When you live inside of your shame, everything you see is inadequate and embarrassing. A lifetime of traveling and having adventures and not being tethered to long-term commitments looks empty and pathetic and foolish, through the lens of shame. … Shame turns every emotion into the manifestation of some personality flaw, every casual choice into a giant mistake, every small blunder into a moral failure. Shame means that you’re damned and you’ve accomplished nothing and it’s all downhill from here.

You need to discard some of this shame you’re carrying around all the time. But even if you can’t cast off your shame that quickly, through the lens of art, shame becomes valuable. When you’re curious about your shame instead of afraid of it, you can see the true texture of the day and the richness of the moment, with all of its flaws. You can run your hands along your own self-defeating edges until you get a splinter, and you can pull the splinter out and stare at it and consider it. When you face your shame with an open heart, you’re on a path to art, on a path to finding joy and misery and fear and hope in the folds of your day.

Heather Havrilesky (Ask Polly - “I’m Broke and Mostly Friendless, and I’ve Wasted My Whole Life”)

#shame #overcoming shame #avpd #avpd mood #actually avpd #avoidant personality disorder #female avoidant #heather havrilesky

[kalavathiraj]

In one minute he grabs my hands, in the next his eyes gag my voice, God alone knows why he made man, who instead of loving makes her regret her choice.

Kalavathi Raj, QUOTUS

#poetry #spilled ink #poets on tumblr #spilled words #my poem #spilled feelings #quotes #poem of the day #daily poem #dead poets society #original poem #poems on tumblr #poems and poetry #original writing #spilled poetry #spilled truth #quoteoftheday #inspiring quotes #quote #life quote #life quotes #women writers #womensupportingwomen #beautiful women #indian women #beauty #overcoming shame #shameless #no shame #fear

[furiousgoldfish]

things to think when someone is judging you: does this person have nothing better to do than to judge me right now? There are better things to be judged in this location even, and this is what they decide on? Very sad, I hope they recover from having a shallow mindset and get a life, judging me isn’t exactly going to get them far.

#judge back!!!! #you have a mind capable of judging and you should judge back #recovery #fear of judgment #overcoming shame #overcoming judgment

[carolinaenindiana]

Making Amends

One sign that you are addicted to drugs or alcohol is that you act in ways that go against your morals and standards. So, one of the Twelve Steps of recovery is learning to see how your actions have hurt other people and working to fix the mistakes and damage you did while you were using. 

In the Twelve Steps, recovery from addiction to alcohol or drugs, making a “direct amend” means talking to people hurt by our actions or how we treated them because of our addiction. 

As described in Steps 8 and 9, the practice involves returning to the people we hurt to tell them how sorry we are and show them how we have changed. This gives you a chance to heal. You should apologize in person instead of over the phone or by asking someone else to do it, whenever possible.

What’s the difference between trying to make things right and saying sorry?

Think of making amends as acts that show your new way of life in recovery. Apologies, on the other hand, are mostly just words. When you make amends, you accept that you did something wrong and then live by your values.

When we’re addicted, our behaviors and goals don’t match up. For example, we might have planned to attend a friend’s birthday party but did not show up. Even if we say we are sorry afterward for missing the party, it’s just words and not actions or changes in our behavior. And these words don’t mean much when we break our vows repeatedly. So, to make things right, we have to do more than say sorry.

In healing, what we do matches what we want to do. 

Are there times when there are better ideas than making direct changes?

Yes. Step 9 says to make amends “unless doing so would hurt them or someone else.” We don’t want our actions to cause more harm, stress, or loss. Also, we might owe people to whom we can’t reach an apology. In these situations, we can make up for our mistakes more significantly by giving money, giving our time, or taking care of someone.

We can also make up for our mistakes by living according to our values. This is called “making life right.” For example, if we hurt someone by lying and couldn’t make up for it without hurting them even more, we would make real amends by acting and talking honestly.

It is also important to be careful when making amends to someone who is still drinking because our first duty is to protect our sobriety and recover from our addiction. If making amends means putting ourselves in situations that make us want to use again, we should think twice and talk to a sponsor or addiction counsellor about healthy options.

Should you get back in touch with someone who doesn’t want to?

No matter how much we want to make things right, the Steps say we can’t force someone to meet or talk to us. Even if the people we have hurt are not able or willing to accept our apologies, we can still move forward in a generally positive way by doing things on purpose to help others or by making living amends.

It is important to remember that making up with someone is for the person we wronged. Yes, we do our part to “clean up our side of the street,” but we don’t make amends to get rid of our guilt or clear our minds. If someone wants to avoid hearing from us, we accept that and do what we can to improve.

How will making up with people help you get better?

By doing these things, we can recover from the disease of addiction. We realize that we are good people who have a terrible disease. Steps 8 and 9 help us get out of the shame we have been living in, which keeps us using drugs and staying addicted. When we do what we can to fix relationships or reach out to others with support and understanding, we help and support our recovery.

What if your attempt to fix things backfires?

We need to find out how someone else will react or how the exchange will make us feel. So, if you need help, talk to your sponsor, support group, or therapist about your plan.

Remember that this is a 12-step process that helps people get better, but the person we are trying to help might be at a different place in their healing than we are. We can only do what we can to make up for it and live up to our apologies. We cannot decide how other people will react or if they will forget or hold on to bad feelings or resentments.

In the end, we do not want anyone to forgive us. We want to be responsible for our deeds and hold ourselves to the standards of our values and the 12-Step program.

If your actions match your goals and you reach out in person, you are doing the next right thing to make up for past mistakes. It’s easy, but not simple. And remember that you are not your sickness. You are not ashamed of the mistakes you made or the damage you did when you used.

#Personal Growth #Goal Setting #Accountability #Self-Improvement #Recovery Journey #Overcoming Shame #Addiction Recovery #Making Amends #Mental Health Awareness #Self-Reflection #Evansville #Indiana

[custardfist]

MICRO EMBARRASSMENTS 😅

We've all had them.

#comic #comics #webcomic #webcomics #web comic #web comics #funny #awkward #embarrassing #embarrasment #overcoming shame #shameful #shameless

[natjennie]

something about "your anger isn't scary to me" is making me so emotional. something about as above so below, cassandra as a mirror of kristen. something about "I've been dropping the ball a lot lately" and kristen's struggles with adhd. something about teenage girls and rage and fury and justice. something about adaine's vision of ruining fallinel and the sylvaire looking for revenge. something about sadness and doubt and anger and love. something about "I choose to understand" being the absolute core theme of d20 in general. something something.

#something about kristen's adhd making her fuck things up and being mad at herself and that manifesting #as her deity being overcome with rage #something about fear and anger and shame and the inability to do better even when you're trying so hard #and something about people loving you anyway #something about 'your anger isnt scary to me' #as someone who had undiagnosed pcos in early high school and got so fucking MAD #something about adhd and how you're always failing and you have no one to blame but yourself #and how heart breaking it is to watch your life fall apart around you KNOWING you could do something #but being unable to do it right. always forgetting always slipping up #and how mad that makes you. at yourself. #this fight is so much #fhjy #d20 #dimension 20 #fantasy high

[barryb64]

Chapter 2: A Summer of Hell

Don't let a horrific event take you captive. It is possible to escape what I called "A Summer of Hell"

Photo by icon0.com on Pexels.com In the previous chapter, I alluded to a story written a few years ago. A Summer of Hell centers on a tragic event in the summer of 1983. When I originally wrote the story for my blog, I struggled with finding an apt title.  A Summer of Hell is the only title that I could come up with. What happened? (more…)

View On WordPress

#dealing with physical abuse #emotional abuse #forgiving means letting go #forgiving others #forgiving self #Getting help to forgive #God helps in forgiving #Jesus is greater than our shame #not a victim of abuse #overcoming abuse #overcoming shame #root of negative self image #root of terrible self image

[blairpfaff]

Andrew Scott & Paul Mescal | Buzz

#i love listening to him talk about overcoming shame it makes me so happy #andrew scott #paul mescal #all of us strangers #edits

[canisalbus]

If Machete and Vasco were roommates before they became a couple, there had to have been moments of innocent touching/body contact, followed by deep gay panic.

.

#I think the transition from platonic friends to a couple was very gradual the line was blurry #even if they weren't a proper serious item yet their relationship was definitely romantically tinted #by the time they rented that tiny attic room together #Vasco had figured out his orientation early on he was well past the identity crisis phase #Machete had mountains of religious trauma to work through so his road to self acceptance was rocky but he did reach it eventually #he guilt and shame and doubt kept resurfacing every now and then but the need for love and companionship was stronger #Vasco is naturally tactile and affectionate it doesn't take much to get an occasional hug or back pat or hand holding from him #and Machete had grown in a touch deprived bubble so as soon as he managed to overcome the initial fear and repulsion #he began to metamorphose into the lap dog he probably should've been all along #casual physical closeness was present even before things got lovey-dovey but that doesn't mean there weren't moments of gay panic #answered #skunkbomb

[ice-sculptures]

FAVORITE BYERS BROTHERS SCENES: 3/?

#stranger things #stedit #strangerthingsedit #will byers #jonathan byers #jonwillscenes #userhawkins #myedit #byler #best brothers !! #um. yeah. i love them #i was writing a post abt these two and guilt n shame all that and then suddenly i was overcome with the urge to gif this scene

[safe-haven-safe-place]

The School of Life

#mental health #healing #recovery #overcoming shame #shame #trauma survivor #trauma wound #childhood trauma #unhealed trauma #complex post traumatic stress disorder #trauma recovery #trauma #self worth

[museenkuss]

I unfortunately can't find the poll about locaring the US-States, but it inspired me to do a poll about locating countries in the EU. We never had to learn the US states (obviously, I guess), but we did have to learn the countries at some point, so I'm really curious.

Take this Quiz to test how fast/correctly you can locate countries in the EU.

disclaimer: this is a first attempt test with no prep, so if you do poorly, don't feel bad. I find this site is a very helpful tool when it comes to learning where countries in general (or US states) are located, and if you're interested in it, you'll get better in no time! I promise! :) Knowing where certain countries are located makes it a lot easier to understand historical events, cultural influences and contemporary politics, which makes it useful and fun. This isn't a marker for intelligence and this poll isn't intended to be condescending or mean-spirited.

#btw I was incredibly bad at geography #I remember getting maybe 5 countries on that test because I hadn't been aware #that we'd be tested on them. it was awful haha. one of my core memories from school. #so trying to learn them now is really important to me to overcome that shame #BUT I still did poorly when I did it for the first time after a long break the other day. I got like 55% #the small countries by greece really did a number on me :( very shameful #BUT at this point I'm at a solid ~80%!!! I'm very proud of myself :) #edit: I did. it again just now and got 100%! :)))))) im very happy about that

[kalavathiraj]

You want me to believe I'm wrong, you love claiming that you're right, either way my vocal chords are gone, your disapproving eyes harass me more than I could ever write...

Kalavathi Raj, QUOTUS

#poetry #spilled ink #poets on tumblr #spilled words #my poem #spilled feelings #quotes #poem of the day #daily poem #dead poets society #original poem #poems on tumblr #poems and poetry #original writing #spilled poetry #spilled truth #quoteoftheday #inspiring quotes #quote #life quote #life quotes #women writers #womensupportingwomen #beautiful women #indian women #beauty #overcoming shame #shameless #no shame #fear

[aussie-the-hedgehog]

I'm on my MHA rewatch and just completed the episode when Uraraka when toe-to-toe with Bakugo at the sports festival.

Ooooof. I'm at a loss for words at how she gave it her all. The strategy she decided to go with was clever, but she came up short. It was a valiant effort and a heck of a fight.

But man, it certainly hit in the feels when she whispered, "Daddy..." as she fell unconscious. Then who could forget the call with her dad. He uplifted her in the moment of a terrible defeat. He promised she will be a kind and caring hero one day as she cries away the pain.

I should also say it was tough to see her hide the pain of the loss in front of Deku. Once she gets alone and calls her dad, she lets it all out. Deku even knew she was hiding it while exiting the room to go face Shoto. No one goes through a defeat like that without feeling emotional repercussions, especially a character as tied to her emotions as Ochako.

Finally, as Deku was going to that next battle, he recalls Ochako being his constant source of encouragement. He just left her as she said, "I'll be watching. Good luck out there!" It brought him to tears as he thinks, "She's the one encouraging me... again." It just gives me another reason why I love their friendship. They know how the other works and how to lift the other up when they're down.

All in all, the episode was Peak Ochako and Peak MHA. The sports festival arc has been a pleasant revisit. I know it'll only get better when Deku and Shoto clash.

#bnha #mha #bakugo vs uraraka #sports festival arc #uraraka ochako #my hero academia #class 1a #izuocha #deku #dekuraka #midoriya izuku #ochako has the best dad #all the feels #uravity #this is why ochako is my favorite character in mha #it's all part in me trying to overcome my shame of appreciating her so much #hopefully this rewatch will help me be more confident in that

[montydrawsstuff]

A what if doodle

#the murder of sonic the hedgehog #espio the chameleon #tmosth actually dead au #sonic #i saw some people rotating this concept in their head but like #what if he meant to #idk hes a good boy hed never #but imagine #he played the longest game #like he wouldnt be bodied lol #more likely hed be so overcome with shame hed just let whatever happen to him #not to be dark lol