#overheard in my house

[yes-i-am-happyaspie]

Peter, leaping down from the ceiling: I'm gonna do a back flip and commit seven wars crimes.

Tony:

Peter: no one can stop me!

Tony:

Peter: I'm invincible!

Tony: I distinctly remember telling you to lay off energy drinks

Peter: war crimes!

#overheard in my house #incorrect irondad and spiderson #peter parker #tony stark #irondad and spiderson #marvel #iron man #spider-man #mcu #irondad

[the-poetry-of-stars]

A: it's not gonna be a late one tonight

*gets back at 3am*

#overheard in my house #that's right im living in a house now #the shower is broken and the neighbours are weird #but its a house #overheard at uni #uni student #university #studyblr #english #history

[zhenya71]

#overheard in my house #OHIMH #chuck tingle #life with kids

[bluehairmisfit]

Overheard in my house... Again.

Youngest Brother (talking to his BF): No, the first step is the break the window and tumble out of it.

#ohimh #oimh #overheard in my house #overheard #He's got so many gems today but this one was very worth sharing.

[smileandasong]

[gerard way voice] BOO!!!

#the second this show ended i told everyone around me 'i'm getting a tattoo of ghost gerard' #AND SOMEONE in the pit overheard me and was like 'hey im a tattoo artist can i please do this for you!?!?' #turns out her studio is five minutes from my house fjdjjfjfjfjf it was meant to be :''') #mcr #mcr tattoo #going ghost gerard #my tattoos #smile.txt

[scribbling-dragon]

sometimes i feel like i don't talk about the weirdness of my bio teachers enough (yes, TWO of them). all my other teachers are just. normal

like. we were doing fight or flight responses and my teacher starts us off with "so you know when you've got your arms crossed over your chest and you're lying face down" so i already know i'm in for a little tidbit of Teacher Lore (who the hell sleeps like that im????) and we all stare at him silently (this is normal for my class. so i guess he takes this as his cue to continue??) and he's like "Yeah. my arms go really numb sometimes and then my hand, which i cannot feel touches my face and i think it's someone else. because i can't feel my hand" don't sleep like that then?????? he then proceeded to be like "i showed u guys the video of a seagull swallowing a rabbit whole right?" (i was the only one to remember this) and then showed us again bc it fascinates him for some reason (tbf i'm with him on this one what the hell)

and my Other bio teacher (the one i've already spoken about) is having his mid-life crisis and has bough THREE 3D PRINTERS. THREE all of them are set up in his classroom. i did, however, get a 3d printed axolotl out of that

#literally this morning some of my friends were talking abt going to our local shop for snacks and he overheard and just pulled out his- #-wallet and gave them two quid and said “buy me a dr pepper” #but i get to feed the axolotls he brought to school when his wife told him he had to stop collecting animals at his house #all my other teachers are normal #i don't think i can say this enough tbh #idk why they're Like This #juno.talks

[thekatebridgerton]

Colin: Penelope do you like me?

Penelope: Colin it's 3 in the morning

Colin: it's just that I just wanted to make sure this isn't just just a friends with benefits situation

Penelope: Colin we're married

Colin: still...

Penelope: we have children together

Colin but do you like like me?

Penelope: oh this is ridiculous! Go back to bed

Colin: no! Not until you tell me you like me

#bridgerton #colin bridgerton #Penelope Featherington #polin #colin 'my wife' Bridgerton #colin x penelope #overheard at bridgerton house

[haml3t]

I was so right to want a hybrid job to force me out of the house and into more human engagement, my autistic ass was at the CLUB last night and ummmm I know the DJ

#the rave daddy #IT guy (DJ) overheard me and a coworker I've become friends with saying I would love to go to the club if only they played good music #and he is also really cool we talk to him a lot and we both said we wanted true house clubs and I want disco #last night had a house bent but was neither lol still a good time!! and the disorder stay real 💜 #much more in my element alone at Batman ‘89 at the phil tonight #soliloquies

[bnha-more-like-bnh-gay]

Nobody:

Izuku: and this is reason no. 237 why I should never be allowed to interact with another human person

#based off of a conversation I had with myself after going off on a long winded rant about belos from the owl house #bnha #mha #incorrect mha quotes #mha incorrect quotes #bnha incorrect quotes #incorrect my hero academia quotes #midoirya izuku #overheard at ua

[rosalesbeausderholle]

My girlfriend has a friend who identifies as a lesbian, and I don't want to be mean because this might not be the case at all but I've always suspected she is the kind of "lesbian" that is bisexual but prefers to be with women because men really suck (a choice I respect, but still bi) just from the kind of way she speaks, she is very much an internet culture immersed lesbian, and so the friend was sending my girlfriend an audio note about people asking her invasive questions about how she realized she was a lesbian while she had a boyfriend because the person asking her was having a sexuality crisis of their own, and so my girlfriend's friend apparently responded something about how she had read a really insightful document (but overall the conversation was about how invasive she'd found the situation) and of course, alarm bells go off in my head at the mention of a "document" because it is that lesbian masterpost, the one infamously created by a bisexual woman that had a lot of very unlesbian things (or things that had nothing to do with sexual orientation), it HAS to be. And I don't want to say, suspicions about the friend confirmed, but... kinda... I don't think she realizes that herself if it were to be true and I hope she is happy with her new girlfriend and stuff, but yeah.

#i didn't ask my girlfriend what the document was bc this was a private convo i only overheard bc i was getting out of the shower #that being said gay or bi i feel for the friend because she is 23 years old and her parents are still so weird about her staying outside #of the house

[mobolanz]

Man...

#like... my younger twin is freeing a pigeon she saved today. she knew she'll have to eventually but she got attached to it #so seeing her cry actually almost always makes me feel terrible too. #I actually hate almost everyone in that house for how they treat her than for how I'm treated myself. #like. I want to remind myself resentment does no good when it's for me #but when it comes to her and how she's being treated I can't help myself #honestly - last weekend those fuckups straight up came with a bunch of tridents (no. REALLY. ) and brooms to make her release it #saying she's 'tormenting it' #she treated it with delicacy care and on daily basis you cunts. had it been any of you it'd ne dead in 2 days. #then I overheard them talk about how they should just use bug spray on it 'it'd be a kinder mercy kill. better dead than caged.' #WHAT THE FUCK #bitch that's not peaceful. fuck off eat shit and drop ded #then they justified the trident with 'it's for laughs' #okay shitheads . sure is funny if one of us lost an eye.

[yes-i-am-happyaspie]

Peter: I'm going to remove this cat's spine

Tony, horrified: what? why?

Peter: to wash it. It's probably filthy

Tony:

Tony: congratulations. I'm speechless

#overheard in my house #no cats were harmed in the making of this post #incorrect irondad and spiderson #peter parker #tony stark #irondad and spiderson #iron man #spider-man #marvel #mcu #irondad

[crehador]

.

#just overheard a family friend talking to my mom #saying her husband stormed out of the house #because their son got his ears pierced #and she didn't oppose #but the husband strongly did and is mad she didn't side with him #and i was like ''oh wow how old is their son'' thinking 15 or under #was thinking about offering something like ''yea it can be difficult to understand kids that age but they need ways to express themselves'' #but then my mom was like ''26'' #what. WHAT. THAT IS A GROWN ASS MAN #and the husband flounced off over this and won't take his wife's calls now?? straight people are incomprehensible #on a slightly funnier note i was like ''pierced ears can be so cool'' and showed my mother an image of samatoki #and she wanted me to send it to her so she could send it to her friend (presumably so her friend could send it to her loser husband??) #MOTHER THAT WOULD NOT IMPROVE THINGS IN THE SLIGHTEST #anyway if you're in a certain hotel and just heard a crab shriek ''TWENTY-SIX?!'' that was me

[zhenya71]

Overheard from my oldest kid, re something he sent to the family discord chat: WHY is everyone reacting to what I said with *Baymax*??

#life with kids #ohimh #overheard in my house

[themanwhowouldbefruit]

if you are spending too much money on restaurant food my advice is to say/do something really embarrassing there and then award yourself a 6 month cool off period.

#fancy coffee place i go to like. 2x a month. i dropped a $5 out of my pocket and a woman behind me in line was like. is this yours?? and i #was like. i dont know maybe im not going to fight you for it though (nonconfrontational not moneybags reaction) #and then after i overheard one of the baristas being like. WELL EYE WOULD HAVE TAKEN IT. and its a really rich area so like i guess they #think im one of the rich old money fuckers who wont fight someone over a $5 bill. noooooo i dont even have a house house let alone a #lakehouse i promise lol!!!!!!

[intertexts-moving]

the thing is like. it has been a very good year. all things considered. like i genuinely do think the years mostly keep improving in small steady increments u know. however. have u considered. i'm not having a very good time!!!!

#have been very mental illness lately. + ummm. overheard my ma making an appt w/ a dermatologist fr a skin cancer screening. which. fucking #sucks and is terrifying. hopefully that comes to nothing but like... if it does. they put all their money into this house!! their first #house!! it is going to be very not good if there r like. Medical bills. #bluh. and also the chronic fatigue has been... Bad. im still living in boxes man. and also like. work & work & im getting wisdom teeth out #in a couple weeks which i cant even begin 2 express how much im not looking forward to... not very cash money. #txt