#oxycodone lines

[xtrain-of-thoughts]

#lines #high #perc #oxy #oxycodone #drugs #dope

[cameronspecial]

I saw you were looking for some angst ideas lmao

So rafe and reader are together. Loves her more than life but his addiction gets in the way of that. One night they have a fuming argument and she doesn’t talk to him for a few days. He then makes a plan for them to talk about it somewhere private at nighttime, but when she shows up he’s not there. She waits for him for a while then she gets attacked by the rafes dealers because he owes them money and she was the next bet. Rafe finds her and he’s freaking out but she won’t let him near her and she blames him. You can choose how this ending goes or if you even want to write this but this has been on my mind

You Deserve Better

Pairing: Rafe Cameron x Reader

Warnings: Drug Use, Swearing, Stabbing, Blood, and Death

Pronouns: She/Her

Word Count: 2.1K

Masterlist

The centre of Rafe’s life wasn’t always the white powder that tumbled around the little Ziploc bag that lined his pockets. His centre is supposed to snort or wheeze a little whenever she laughs, refusing to use her inhaler because she doesn’t want to embarrass him. It will stay up past her bedtime because she is in a flow with her work. His sun crosses her eyeballs whenever he presses a kiss on her nose because she knows it would make him chuckle. Y/N Y/L/N used to be his rock and now, all because of an accident, she isn’t anymore. That is something not a lot of people know. They assume his addiction started because he was a bored rich kid who had the money to spare. However, in reality, it began with a torn ACL. One wrong shift of his leg and his football career was over. At first, the oxycodone was only to manage the pain from the ACL surgery. He had the hope that he could recover the way he needed to get back on the field, but then the news came that he wasn’t progressing the way his doctor wanted… That was when the problem started, suddenly the drug he was taking to help ease his physical pain became the one to take away his mental pain too. The pain of not being able to play football. The pain of missing out. The pain of not knowing where his life was going.

Don’t get him wrong, Y/N was by his side the whole time, except a person can’t be everything to someone else and he needed a therapist. He just wasn’t ready to admit that. It was only when he stopped being prescribed oxycodone that he turned to cocaine to fill the mental hole the prescription used to be for.

———

Rafe’s blown pupils are hidden by his eyelids as he lies back on the couch. Y/N is still out with her friends, so he isn’t sleeping. Not when she is not at home. The front door opening and closing makes him jerk forward. His eyelids are just a sliver because the light from the ceiling is too bright for him. Her footsteps approach the living room and the large sigh she lets out makes her arrival known. “You didn’t do the dishes,” she states, her hand resting on her jut-out hip. “And the hole in the hallway is still there.” Yesterday, Rafe, in a high state, accidentally made a hole in the wall when trying to put up a picture frame for her. He promised her before she left for work this morning that he would get what he needed to fix it this morning and in the afternoon, he would fix it. However, before he could get himself to the store, he saw a post from one of his old football teammates, who went pro and he spiralled. 

He doesn’t mean to roll his eyes, yet it happens and this causes her to let out another huff. “I didn’t get a chance to go to the store,” he grumbles like he didn’t care. He really did though. He wanted to be able to do something that simple for the girl who meant everything to him, except his mind seemed to disagree with his heart. It is easier to pretend it doesn’t bother him. Her eyes narrow in on the residue of powder on their coffee table, “Let me guess, you got your nose caught up in some business. Rafe, you promised me you wouldn’t do that shit at home.” He can’t keep looking at the way tears start to appear because he knows how worried she gets when he does drugs, always scared he might overdose. He looks anywhere but at her. “Don’t get on my ass about this again Y/N. You don’t know what I am dealing with,” he argues.

“I don’t and that’s the problem. You need to talk to someone about how you are feeling because you are going to put yourself in an early grave if you keep doing what you are doing now.”

“Seriously, we are going to argue about this again because I didn’t do the dishes or fix a little hole in the wall.”

“No, we are going to argue about it because you aren’t the man I fell in love with anymore and I don’t think if I can do this anymore. I want to be by your side to help you get better but if you don’t want to, then I don’t know if I can be here forever.”

Her words hit his ears at the same intensity as they would if he were sitting next to an airplane engine. They had arguments about his sobriety so many times before, yet those fights always had the underlying understanding that she would be there to help him. She never once mentioned the possibility of her leaving him because she truly did want to help him find his sobriety. His mouth falls open to talk. No words come out. How can he possibly swear that he wants to get better when he isn’t at the self-realization point in his journey? She takes the silence as an admittance that getting clean isn’t on his mind. “I need some time apart. I’m going to sleep at Deliah’s place tonight,” she informs, turning to leave. He doesn’t stop her; he wants to give her the space she needs in hopes that she realizes she can hold on for a little bit longer. The only word he can respond with is “Okay”, right before she closes the door behind her. 

———

She hasn’t answered any of his texts and calls. Her night of taking some space turned into a week and it is driving him crazy. Her non-existence return may have to do with his unwillingness to agree to go to a therapist. After the thousandth attempt at calling her, she finally answers the call. “Normally, when a person doesn’t pick up the call, it means they don’t want to talk to you.” He lets out an internal sigh, “I know, I just need to talk to you. Please, can we meet at our spot, Sunshine?” She could never resist the usage of his nickname for her. “Okay, meet me there in an hour,” she agrees. The call drops right after her response and he gives himself a small smile. Not only does he get to see her again, he gets to try to get her back. 

———

By the time she realizes she is being followed, she is alone under the bleachers, where she and Rafe used to spend their time in high school. It was where they found themselves when they didn’t feel like going to class or they needed to get away from the chaos after his team won a game. It was the place she fell in love with him in because even before they were dating when they were just friends, it was their spot. She spins around at the sound of grass being pressed down by a set of feet, ready to scold him for being late. It isn’t Rafe as she expected; instead, an average-height man with a dangerous air that scares her. The gleam behind his eyes tells her the bald man is up to no good, which is confirmed when he pulls out the hunting knife from his hoodie pocket. She steps back in an attempt to get away from him, but her back hits against a metal beam. The man rushes toward her and presses the sharp edge against the soft skin of her neck. “Your boy owes me money and since he is taking too long to get it back to me, I thought I would hold onto something precious to him until I get what I want,” the man explains with a wicked grin. She refuses to show him fear and looks him dead in the eyes, “Rafe’s dealer is Barry so I have no idea what you are talking about.” “He stopped going to Barry because Barry started getting on his case about how much he is using,” the male growled, not enjoying the bite to her bark. She chuckles like a maniac, “When Rafe comes, he is going to beat your ass.” “Shut up, Bitch.” Angered by his words, her knees find their target between his legs. 

He lets out a howl and doubles over in pain. She uses this as her opportunity to attempt an escape, trying to run past him. Unfortunately, he reaches out to stop her and this results in the blade driving into her abdomen. A gasp passes her lips, causing the dealer to look in her direction. “Shit.” His eyes bloom open and immediately begins to pull it out. “No. Don’t pu-,” she warns, except it is too late. The weapon is already out and he is running toward the exit. She hunches forward and stumbles back against the beam, pressing her hand to her stomach to keep from bleeding out, feeling as though she has been punched. Calling 911 seems to be the logical answer; however, when she goes for her phone, she finds it broken on the floor. She thinks about going to her car and is stopped by the feeling of even more blood gushing out of the wound as she tries to push off the beam. It doesn’t hurt as much as she thought it would. 

“Sunshine,” rings through her ears. Her dizziness makes it difficult to focus on the speaker, yet she knows who it is based on the nickname. She slides down the beam because her legs lose all their strength. Rafe rushes to her side and kneels beside her. “Shit, Sunshine. It’s going to be okay. Everything is going to be okay. I’m going to call the police. They are going to fix everything,” his voice breaks as his hand joins hers to stop the flow of his blood. She can hear him relaying the information to the dispatcher, but her body is telling her something Rafe isn’t going to be ready to hear. He places his phone on the floor so both of his hands can press on her abdomen. “They’re coming, Sunshine, just hold on. I promise. I’ll be here the whole time.” Her handshakes as she raises to his cheek, staining it with her blood. Her tears water at the edge of her bottom eyelid, “I don’t think I’m going to make it.” His head shakes vigorously. “Don’t say tha-.” She cuts him off, “Can you please just listen to me?” He nods to let her continue. “It was your dealer. I’m not telling you this to make you feel bad. Just to make sure he gets arrested. But I need you to know that you are more than just your addiction and football. I know you don’t think so, but you are and if you just realize that, then you will see the man that I fell in love with.” “I don’t deserve that though. Look at all the shit I put you through. You deserve more than a druggie as a boyfriend,” he cries, holding her hand against his skin.

She smiles up at him, “You deserve more too. You deserve to be truly happy. You deserve to try to find a new purpose in life. I want that for you.” “How can I find all of that if you are gone?” he questions. Her breathing begins to become laboured, “You’ll find yourself and once you grieve, you’ll find someone who can help heal your broken heart. That’s how.”

“I don’t want anyone else. I just want you. Please, don’t go. Will you please stay if I promise to get sober?” 

“I will be with you every step of the way.”

The words tear his heart in two. He knows what it means. She truly doesn’t think she is coming out of this alive. “I want you to see me get better though. Please. Just hang on a little longer.” His tears cloud his vision. When he doesn’t hear a response, he wipes his eyes to get a closer look at her. The world goes dark at the sight of her glassy eyes only reflecting back his face with no recognition or life behind them. The rise and fall of her chest have stopped. The universe decides to answer his calls for help at a cruel moment as he hears the siren finally approach. There is no use in their hurry if the person who needs saving is the one to do it because Rafe isn’t going to let her last words die with her. He is going to get better, not only for her but for him too. He deserves more than a life of chasing his pain away with drugs and he is determined to achieve that.

Taglist: @winterrrnight @loves0phelia @thelomlisrafecameron @wickedlovely121 @thepatriarchykeychain @drewsmusee @starkowswife @maybankslover @forstarkey @loving-and-dreaming @magicalyoura

#rafe cameron #rafe cameron x reader #outer banks #rafe cameron imagine #outer banks fanfiction #outer banks imagine #outer banks x reader #rafe #rafe outer banks #rafe x reader #rafe obx #rafe imagine #rafe x you #rafe cameron outer banks #outerbanks #obx #obx fic #obx fanfic #obx imagine

[corollaservant]

JJK MEN AS HOB SONGS ☆18+☆

Gojo / High for this: He is the type of man who would want you to get high with him. You didn't know him well enough to engage in sexual intercourse sober but he wouldn't push it- it would be consensual. He’d find you at a party, offer you a glass of whatever alcohol and drugs were mixed in it and you’d take it, knowing fully well you.. didn’t know anything. You didn’t care at the moment, the liquor down your throat and his breath on you, as he’d sway your hips, he could only think of you under him. The drugs wouldn’t kick in until hours later, when he’d remove your clothes in a dark room and kiss all over your body, reassuring you to not be scared; he got this. He did really like you though, he’d never let anything bad happen to you and he’d stay there during your comedown- it was just that drugs suited you, you seemed so free, uncalculated movements and your roaming small hands on his body drove him insane. You’d never do this sober but he took pride in being the only one you trusted enough with unknown substances- he’d prove your faith in him the next day.

Geto / What you need: This song suits him the best: slow, seductive, alluring. He knew you had a silly little crush on his best friend and how naive you were so he'd always protect you, you saw him as a best friend really yet he couldn’t wait to be buried inside you someday, patient in his efforts and reserved. On a weekend you’d hit a club together, he’d bring drugs, he had the best plug in town and everyone knew it as he’d offer you your first pill. You hadn’t done drugs before but it was him, he’d seen you at your best and worst and always took care of you. He’d watch you pop a pill and dance with your high heels clicking on the dancefloor, dizzy and flustered. He’d bring you home, only to be inside you shortly after, kissing your panting mouth and feeling your wetness around his cock. His best friend? You’d forget him by tomorrow. 

Nanami / The Party and the After Party: High with him was an out-of-this-world experience. He knew you were confident, knew exactly what you wanted and gave it to you. You’d be chilling in his hotel room for the night, popping different pills and he’d watch you give him the ride of his life. Phone calls interrupting, he was a busy man after all- even in the late hours, but he’d shut it off, he didn’t give a fuck who called him, you’d giggle seeing it was his mom. He had other women to satisfy his temporary, carnal needs but you were just different; your head game was the best, especially when high, you’d put your heart and soul to it, his liddle Rudolph, as he’d jokingly call you when you rode out your orgasm on his dick, your nose red from the lines you’d done on the table. 

Sukuna / Coming down: You were used to his calls early in the morning, he never contacted you besides these hours. You'd swear he was probably out drinking, snorting and popping any substance he’d buy or was given, had girls rubbing themselves on him and his friends. It was always around 5:30 when you’d hear his voice on the other end of the line, not assertive, like he’d usually be when he fucked you sober; but vulnerable, needy and shaky. I’m all alone he whined, driving over to your place, the party had finished and he wanted you to know. He’d be thrusting his aching cock deep in your pussy from behind, your head pushed down the mattress, as you’d moan his name, tears forming in your eyes. You really liked him- but he only wanted you when he was coming down, chasing one high after the other. 

Toji / The Morning: He could be found downtown, outside a shady club’s door, he was pimping girls to loaded men for a living, in exchange they’d give him drugs, oxycodone and ecstasy pills, which he’d sell/smuggle occasionally, the pimping didn’t pay well enough. You were working in the same club, putting on a show for the horny and greedy scums, stripping was your thing, not prostitution. He’d put a 100 dollar bill in your thong as you swirled around the pole, looking in your eyes with meaning as you’d smile and wink back. 100's weren’t enough. Toji liked you, you were just like him, struggling to make ends meet and only out for the money, no feelings or shyness in sight. That was why the same night he had you bent over the club’s dirty sink, stuffing you with his huge cock and slapping your ass harshly as he tossed bills on you, the sensation making you float and he knew you enjoyed this by the way you were clenching around him. You liked this mutual agreement you both had, he was giving you the best dick and you were getting paid on top of that.

👀 tags for warnings

#jjk x you #jujutsu kaisen #jjk smut #gojo x reader #geto x reader #nanami smut #toji x reader #sukuna #jjk fanfic #jjk x reader #nanami kento #toji smut #the weeknd #tw drugs #sex and drugs #jjk men #corollaservant

[doormatty3]

Ocean Eyes: Chapter 4 (Orm Marius x Reader)

Masterlist Ao3

Ocean Eyes Masterlink

Summary:

[Orm Marius x Female Reader] [Orm Marius x You]

The ocean has always fascinated you - the ebb and flow of its water, the marine life in the sea and the wild and untamed beauty it exudes. Your attempts to explain this fascination have always fallen short. But when you meet Orm at the seaside one rainy day you find, that he just understands.  You offer to show him around since he is not from the city. And you are intrigued by his rather strange quirks and his regal demeanour.  After all, how could you not? When his eyes mirror the ocean itself, deep and incredibly blue. OR: You impress Orm with the surface world and he impresses you with his Atlantean cock

Wordcount: 4721

A/N: If there some mistakes, I had a major surgery and am currently high on Oxycodon...

As the day unfolds in a gentle rhythm, you and Orm find solace in the simplicity of lazy kisses and unhurried walks along the shoreline. The connection between you two is palpable, a subtle energy that defies explanation. 

It‘s akin to the unspoken bond you have with the sea – a presence that exists without the need for words or rationale. It just is.

The lazy kisses are a sweet punctuation to moments of shared silence. Each touch, each caress, carries with it absolute bliss. 

The slow walks along the beach with the sand beneath your feet, warmed by the sun, create a soft pathway for the two of you. The play of light on the water, the shifting hues of the sea mirroring the ebb and flow of emotions between you and Orm. The horizon stretches endlessly, a metaphor for the boundless potential of the connection you share. 

The day progresses at its own unhurried pace, mirroring the unhurried nature of your connection. It‘s as if time itself has slowed down, allowing you to savour the simplicity of being in each other‘s company.

As you spend more time with Orm, you find yourself wanting to get to know him better - to unravel the layers of the person beneath the surface. However, you sense that it doesn‘t make sense to push him - he has to approach you,

Sometimes, his eyes betray the storm within him. There‘s a depth to Orm that intrigues you, a narrative etched in the lines of his expressions. 

And so, you tread gently through the storm in his eyes, offering a steady presence without demanding entry into the tempest.

In the ebb and flow of days, you find a quiet rhythm with Orm. 

The days are punctuated with laughter, conversations, and shared silences that speak volumes. You explore the nuances of his likes and dislikes, weaving the tapestry of your understanding of each other. In the simple joys of companionship, you find a happiness that surpasses even your most cherished expectations.

Waking up next to Orm becomes a source of comfort, a tangible warmth that permeates your mornings. His presence beside you is a reassurance, and falling asleep in his arms at night feels like being cradled by a serenade of tranquillity. 

As you navigate the passage of time together, the bond between you and Orm deepens with shared experiences, mutual understanding, and unspoken affections. 

_____

In the gentle embrace of morning, you awaken to the warmth of Orm‘s body pressed against yours. The soft light filtering through the curtains paints a tranquil scene, and as you open your eyes, the first thing you feel is the steady rhythm of his breath, a comforting lullaby in the quietude of the dawn.

Orm‘s arms are securely wrapped around you, creating a sense of safety and intimacy. The rise and fall of his chest against your back form a soothing cadence, a heartbeat that resonates with the peaceful stillness of the early morning. 

With eyes half-open, you take in the contours of the room, the subdued light of dawn casting a gentle glow. Cradled in Orm‘s embrace, you savour the quiet beauty of these morning moments, where time seems to stand still, and the world outside is yet to fully awaken.

But it‘s late enough to get up you think, so you slip out of Orm‘s embrace, careful not to disturb his peaceful slumber. With a gentle touch, you rise from the bed, leaving behind the warmth of the covers.

You steal a final glance at him, a quiet affection swelling within you for his peaceful, sleeping form.

You make your way to the kitchen to brew coffee for yourself and prepare tea for Orm. While he really doesn‘t like coffee, you found out that he has a rather sweet tooth and likes fruity teas. 

As you walk through your living room, your gaze shifts towards the window overlooking the terrace. 

To your surprise, a tall, bulky figure captures your attention - A huge man stands on your lawn.

His long brown hair and beard contribute to a rugged appearance. As he stands there, the rays of the morning sun dance upon intricate tribal tattoos that tell a silent tale on his well-defined arms.

Instead of looking lost, he seems like he belongs - like he is waiting.  

Reacting instinctively, you grab a fire poker, your heart pounding with a mix of caution and adrenaline. The sturdy handle feels reassuring in your grip as you cautiously open the door, the brisk morning air brushing against your skin.

The stranger meets your gaze as the door swings ajar, and you waste no time asking, “What do you want? And who are you?”

“I‘m Arthur,” the towering man responds, his eyes locked onto yours. 

His sheer size renders him an imposing figure, dwarfing even Orm in comparison. In hindsight, you realise you should have called for Orm instead of venturing out on your own.

Thinking logically, you surmise that if he intended to harm you, he would have struck by now, so you inquire, “And what do you want, Arthur?”

“I‘m Orm‘s brother. I need to talk to him, please,” he explains, hands raised in a gesture of non-aggression.

Your scepticism persists as you lower the fire poker and remark, “What? I‘m sorry, but you two don‘t exactly look alike.”

Amused, Arthur lets out a hearty laugh, “I know. He‘s my half-brother.”

“How do you know he‘s here?” you inquire, unable to shake off the scepticism. Orm‘s family is uncharted territory, and Arthur‘s sudden arrival stirs a mix of curiosity and caution.

“Oh, he told me,” Arthur replies with a nonchalant smile. 

The revelation that Orm talks about you to his family brings a pleasant warmth to your cheeks. It‘s a subtle affirmation of the connection you‘ve been building with him. It‘s a vulnerable yet comforting feeling, knowing that you hold a place in his thoughts outside the moments you spend together.

However, Arthur‘s unexpected appearance and claim of urgency cast a shadow of doubt and wariness.

“But if you talk to him regularly, why not just ask him directly?” you press, your tone carrying a note of suspicion.

“It‘s urgent – please,” Arthur implores, his gaze holding a sense of sincerity. The urgency in his voice hints at something pressing, and you furrow your brow - you‘d really like to know what‘s going on.

“Arthur, he never mentioned you – he never said anything about his family,” you assert, your words carrying a mix of confusion and caution. The unexpected nature of the encounter prompts a wave of doubt about Arthur‘s intentions. “For all I know, you‘re gonna murder me because you don‘t know him and just pretend.”

Arthur lets out a hearty laugh, a sound that echoes across the terrace. “If I wanted to hurt you, don‘t you think I‘d already have done that?” he retorts, the humour in his tone attempting to diffuse the tension.

The acknowledgement of your shared perspective brings a momentary alignment of understanding. “But you get why I‘m sceptical, right?” you press, seeking reassurance in the face of the unknown.

Arthur‘s laughter rumbles through the air again, seems inconsistent with the seriousness of the situation. “Sure, alright, listen. I can just prove to you that I know my little brother, alright.”

“Okay, go ahead,” you say, a glimmer of curiosity mingling with your scepticism.

“When he drank coffee at your place, he almost spat it out – he told me it was one of the most vile things he‘s ever drunk, and he really doesn‘t understand how we can drink it - and how you can call your coffee a good roast ,” Arthur reveals, a grin playing on his face.

A surprised chuckle escapes you, realising that Arthur‘s story is an accurate retelling of your and Orm‘s first breakfast together. “I didn‘t know he thought it was that bad,” you admit, laughter bubbling up at the unexpected revelation.

“Oh, he hates it,” Arthur laughs, his deep voice resonating with amusement. “But he really likes that fruit tea you have,” he adds, a mischievous twinkle in his eye. He finds it funny that you and his brother are so smitten with each other.

You smile, feeling a warmth spreading through you. Clearing your throat, you say, “Well, Arthur, you just earned yourself a cup of coffee in my humble home. Come in.”

You head inside, leaving the door ajar for Arthur to accompany you.

He follows you into the house, his gaze wandering around the living room and open kitchen. As you prepare coffee for both of you and a cup of tea for Orm, Arthur‘s attention is drawn to the aquarium. Colourful fish gracefully move through the water, creating a captivating display. 

Setting the mugs on the table, you join him by the aquarium. “It‘s a passion of mine,” you say, gesturing toward the fish gliding through the water. “Helps bring some life into the place.”

Arthur nods, his eyes still fixed on the mesmerising dance of the aquatic life. “I can see the appeal. Orm never mentioned you had such a lively home.”

You chuckle, “Well, surprises are always good, right?”

Arthur smirks, “Indeed. So, where‘s Orm? Still asleep?”

“He is,” you reply, “I didn‘t want to disturb him. Plus, I wasn‘t sure if waking him abruptly for a family reunion was the best idea.”

Arthur chuckles, “Fair point. I appreciate you being understanding about this.”

As you lead Arthur to the table, both of you take a seat, the morning light streaming through the windows casting a warm glow on the room. The aroma of freshly brewed coffee mingles with the comforting scent of tea, creating an inviting atmosphere.

The conversation flows smoothly, and you start to feel more at ease with Arthur‘s presence. He talks about his life, sharing snippets of his experiences - you find out that he‘s married with a kid. 

It becomes evident that despite the differences, there‘s a shared thread of love for the sea that ties the siblings together.

After a while, Arthur‘s eyes wander to the sea glass on the table. “Interesting choice of décor,” he remarks, picking it up and examining it.

You smile, recalling the moment when you found it on the beach. “It‘s a little souvenir. Reminded me of Orm.”

Arthur nods, his gaze thoughtful. “You know, he‘s not one to easily let people in. Must‘ve seen something special in you.”

You blush at the compliment, feeling a mix of warmth and appreciation.

As the conversation progresses, you discover more about Arthur, finding him to be not only funny but also kind. He delves into anecdotes about his child‘s antics and shares tales of odd jobs he‘s worked. 

The warm atmosphere changes when Orm enters the kitchen. You eagerly go to greet him, excited to see him, but his expression stops you in your tracks. 

Instead of the usual calm demeanour, Orm is seething with anger. 

His brows are furrowed, and his normally serene eyes now burn with an intense fury akin to a storm raging beneath the surface.

The soft blue eyes that you love looking into have turned into a cold and cloudy hue. It feels as though you are looking into the heart of the storm, waves of fury rising and falling with a savage rhythm, crashing against each other like warring titans engaged in an eternal struggle.

The lines on his forehead deepen as he directs a stern gaze towards Arthur, whose presence has triggered this unexpected reaction.

You have never seen him like that.

Orm‘s anger is palpable, radiating off him like waves of heat. His clenched fists and completely tense posture speak volumes, signalling a storm about to unleash its wrath. His broad shoulders are rigid, every muscle coiled with tension.

You feel your heart beating in your chest, a mix of concern and confusion enveloping you. You‘re not sure how to react.

But before you can even utter a word, Orm curtly nods towards Arthur, his jaw clenched. The silent message is crystal clear – this is not the time for pleasantries. Without further ado, Orm guides him outside, the door closing behind them.

As you stand in the kitchen, you can‘t help but notice the drastic shift in the atmosphere. The air feels tense, and you can‘t help but wonder what transpired to provoke such a reaction from Orm.

You observe them through the glass door, the transparency offering a distorted lens into the unfolding scene.

Orm‘s expression has contorted into a visage of frustration. His brows are furrowed, and the anger etched on his face transforms him, turning him into someone feral. 

On the other side, Arthur appears to be caught off guard by Orm‘s reaction. He stands with a mix of surprise and contrition, facing the verbal onslaught from his brother. 

Through the closed door, you catch fragments of Orm‘s voice. The tone is heated, and you can sense the palpable tension in the air. 

You hear his voice, sharp and reproachful, berating Arthur for showing up unannounced. The words come in bits and pieces, like the distant echoes of a conversation carried by the wind. The door muffles the sound, leaving you with only intermittent snippets of the exchange.

“Arthur, you can‘t just...” Orm‘s voice pierces through the door, each word laden with reproach.

You see Arthur talking back but can‘t understand what he‘s saying.

“...eat a cockroach, Arthur!” Orm‘s voice surges, and you can almost feel the exasperation in his shove when his hands press against Arthur‘s chest, pushing him back a step.

Arthur‘s reaction is a mix of shock and indignation. His eyes widen, and he instinctively recoils from the force of the shove, a flicker of surprise crossing his features before finding his footing again.

Orm‘s voice escalates, slicing through the air with a sharp sense of accusation, punctuating his words with another forceful shove.

“...took my throne, my betrothed, and now my peace of mind!”  Orm‘s voice carries a weight of bitterness and resentment, the gravity of his words hitting you like a sudden tempest. 

Wait what?

The unexpected revelation leaves you stunned, grappling with the realisation that there are layers to Orm‘s turmoil that extend beyond the immediate situation.

As the tension between Orm and Arthur reaches a boiling point, Arthur‘s composure begins to crack. His anger builds, evident in the tightening of his jaw and the fire that sparks in his eyes.

Arthur‘s accusatory words, dripping with frustration, reverberate through the room like an unspoken challenge, “What‘s your problem, Orm?”

He not only responds with words but also looks like he‘s ready to hit back, his fists clenched and posture shifting into a defensive stance when a flicker of realisation seems to cross his face. 

“You never told her, did you?” he accuses Orm, his words laden with disbelief. His tone takes a sharper edge, and the words pierce the air like a dagger.

Your heart beats rapidly in your chest, caught in the whirlwind of emotions and uncertainty. He spoke about a fiance, and now there‘s something he never told you?

The bits and pieces of the argument you manage to overhear only serve to deepen your confusion. Determined to seek clarity, you take a deep breath, summoning courage, and make the decision to step outside. 

The chilly air nips at your skin, and you‘re met with the intense atmosphere that hangs between Orm and Arthur. 

Determined to understand the roots of this conflict, you inquire, “What‘s going on?”

Orm remains silent, his features etched with reluctance and a hint of frustration. It‘s clear he‘s not eager to divulge the details.

Arthur, seemingly less concerned about the secrecy, interjects with a tone that swings between nonchalance and urgency, “We‘re from Atlantis. He was the Ocean Master, the king of Atlantis. But he lost it all. Too hungry for power, and I had to step in to fix the mess. And now I have to deal with the Council of Houses that want my ass.”

“Sure. And I‘m the Chinese emperor.,” you say in disbelief,  the sarcasm dripping from your words. Your gaze shifts to Orm, who avoids your eyes and still appears visibly angered, with frustration and regret emanating from him.

The growing anger inside you prompts you to confront Orm directly, “You won‘t tell me what‘s really going on, Orm?” You don‘t know what‘s worse: Orm just being silent or Arthur lying to you.

“Shit, I am not lying,” Arthur exclaims, his frustration matching yours. “Orm, this is your woman, fucking tell her the truth.”

Orm finally meets your eyes, and you swallow nervously. His expression shifts to remorseful; the once-angry blue eyes now reflect sadness and uncertainty.

“Orm?” you say quietly, a plea for honesty and transparency.

“I‘m Atlantean - so is he. He didn‘t lie,” he begins, running his hand through his hair. “I have never been to the surface before...and -”

Arthur interjects with a hint of playfulness, “Look, we can breathe underwater, and I can talk to fish. The ones in your living room told me some interesting things about you two a few days ago.”

“Arthur, please,” Orm says, a mix of exasperation and concern in his tone.

At this point, you‘re just confused. You don‘t know what to believe. Surely, they must be lying. There is no way in hell Atlantis is real - it seems preposterous, Yet the sincerity in Orm‘s eyes challenges your scepticism.

Arthur somehow senses that you need some proof, and realising Orm is not in a state to do something, he strides back into the house. The urgency in his movements compels you and Orm to follow, caught in a whirlwind of confusion and disbelief.

Once inside, Arthur doesn‘t waste a moment. His eyes, now with a peculiar yellow gleam, fixate on the aquarium as he approaches.

You watch in amazement as the aquatic inhabitants respond to him. They swim in intricate patterns, almost as if following a choreographed dance. Some even seem to perform playful flips in the water, creating a surreal spectacle. 

Arthur, with a mischievous glint in his eyes, turns to you and grins. “Impressive, huh?”

You find it hard to fathom the reality unfolding before you.

“Atlantis is a fun place,” Arthur continues, undeterred by the incredulous atmosphere. “Full of politics, underwater cities, and, well, talking fish.”

The surreal scene in your living room challenges the very fabric of your understanding, leaving you grappling with the notion that Atlantis, a mythical realm, might be more than just a legend.

As Arthur‘s words linger in the air, you‘re faced with the undeniable truth that the world you thought you knew is just the surface of a much deeper and more complex reality. 

Your attention shifts to Orm standing beside you. As he reaches out to put a hand on your shoulder, you turn around, your voice a mix of hurt and confusion. “Were you ever going to tell me?”

Your heart thumps loudly in your chest - this is not how you envisioned the morning unfolding. Hell, you had placed trust in Orm, and you genuinely like him. However, you‘re uncertain about what this revelation means for you.

The room seems to tighten with tension, and Orm‘s response is palpably strained. “I was going to, in due time.” 

The weight of his words lingers in the air, leaving you standing on shaky ground. Uncertainty creeps in, and you‘re left to grapple with the implications of this newfound knowledge. The man you thought you knew harbours a secret world beneath the surface, a world you were blissfully unaware of until now.

Feeling the need to collect your thoughts, you excuse yourself, stammering out something about needing a moment. Hastily making your way to the bedroom, you close the door behind you, the muffled sounds of conversation still audible from the other room. 

As the weight of the revelation bears down on you, you find yourself overwhelmed by a rising tide of emotions. 

Panic tightens its grip around your chest, and you can feel the telltale signs of an impending attack. Placing your head in your hands, you try to steady your breathing, attempting to navigate the storm of conflicting thoughts and emotions swirling within you as the room feels suffocating.

As the door creaks open, Orm enters the room, his footsteps measured and purposeful, his demeanour carrying a palpable sense of remorse. The soft click of the closing door resonates in the air as he crosses the threshold, his gaze meeting yours with a mix of regret and genuine concern. 

His movements are deliberate, each step echoing the weight of emotions he carries. Without hesitation, he gracefully kneels down, his hand extending to rest on your back, a comforting touch that conveys both warmth and strength.

“Hey, it‘s going to be okay. Just take a breath, honey,” his voice is a soothing cadence, every word chosen with care. 

You observe the furrow in his brow and the slight slump of his shoulders, evidence of the burden he shares with you in this moment. His presence feels like a reassuring anchor amidst the tumult of emotions.

Attempting to steady your breath, panic tightens its grip on you, “I can‘t, I can‘t-” Your words falter, caught in the throes of distress.

His voice assumes a rhythmic flow, guiding you through the storm of emotions. The deliberate pace of his words creates a sense of order within the chaos, each syllable serving as a lifeline. With each uttered phrase, you sense a gradual easing of panic, his words acting as a balm for your distressed mind.

His large hands gently brush over your cheeks and hair, reaching wherever they can. The warmth of his touch is palpable. You find solace in the softness of his fingertips and the sincerity etched in his gaze.

“You‘re doing so well, honey. Just keep breathing. I‘m here with you. You‘re safe. Inhale slowly... and exhale,” Orm‘s voice continues its calming effect, a steady stream of reassurance that envelops you like a protective cocoon. 

He talks you through the panic attack, guiding you with words that carry the warmth of understanding and reassurance.

With each carefully chosen phrase, Orm helps you navigate the tempest within. The room, once suffocating, begins to loosen its grip as Orm‘s presence becomes a source of comfort and support, helping you weather the emotional storm.

You manage a shaky breath and look at Orm, gratitude in your eyes.

“Thank you, Orm. I... I didn‘t expect all of this,” you admit, your voice carrying a mix of vulnerability and appreciation.

“I know, and I‘m sorry,” he reassures, cradling your face in his hand. His blue eyes shine with worry and tenderness, a testament to his commitment to being there for you.

You observe him close his eyes, taking in a shaky breath before reopening them. He appears on the verge of tears as he apologises once again.

Instinctively, you wrap your arms around Orm. Tears held back for too long stream down your face, a release of the pent-up emotions that have been coursing through you.

Orm responds with a gentle understanding, reciprocating by wrapping one arm around you in a protective hold. With his other hand, he tenderly wipes away the tears that cascade down your cheeks, and you feel the comforting touch of his fingers on your face.

As you remain wrapped in Orm‘s embrace, you become keenly aware of the rhythmic thudding of his heart against your chest. His shaky breaths resonate in the quiet space, a testament to the emotional intensity of the moment.

In response to the palpable tremor in his breath, you softly whisper, your words a gentle reassurance, “Everything will be alright, Orm. We‘ll get through this together.” The words uttered in a hushed tone carry the weight of sincerity, weaving a sense of comfort into the shared space.

Feeling Orm‘s tightening embrace, as if he fears you might slip away, you reciprocate the gesture, bringing your arms to cup his face gently. 

As you lift his gaze to meet yours, you see the aftermath of the emotional storm in his eyes. They swim with unshed tears, and the intensity of the blue is almost overwhelming. His bottom lip trembles with the weight of the shared emotions, and you can sense the vulnerability etched across his features.

Your touch on his face is both a grounding presence and an assurance that you‘re here, steadfast and unwavering. 

It is at that moment that you realise that you‘re falling in love with him. 

Despite lingering anger about the concealment of his Atlantean identity and Atlantis itself,  you know that he didn‘t do it out of bad intentions. He did it because he was afraid, and you know that feeling all too well.

With a gentle yet firm touch, your hand buries itself in Orm‘s blonde hair, fingers tangling in the soft strands. The kiss that follows is soft, tender, and brimming with a vulnerability that binds you both.

Orm responds to the kiss, and his vulnerability meets with your own as the unsheared tears in his eyes glisten. 

Breaking the kiss, he tenderly smooths your hair away from your face, apologising, “I‘m so sorry. I didn‘t mean to tell you like that.”

“I know,” you assure him, your voice carrying a soothing tone as you lean in to place a gentle kiss on his forehead. “I know.”

“I‘m glad you know now, for all that‘s worth,” a small smile graces his lips.

“I‘m glad too. It does explain a few things,” you chuckle. “I‘m looking forward to showing you more surface things  -  now you can actually tell me what you haven‘t seen before.”

He laughs at that, a full-blown grin spreading across his face, reaching his eyes.

“I‘m genuinely excited to see more with you,” Orm admits, his eyes reflecting a genuine curiosity and eagerness. “And I promise not to keep any Atlantean secrets this time.”

“I‘ll hold you to that, King Orm,” you share a playful smirk, “Or do you want me to call you Ocean Master?”

His head snaps up at that, and his eyes darken with a feral intensity that makes you swallow dryly. He holds your gaze for a few seconds before surging up, capturing your lips in a searing kiss. 

That was not the reaction you wanted, but you‘re not complaining, you think.

You whine into the kiss as Orm‘s hands cradle your face, his touch both gentle and possessive. It‘s as if he‘s imprinting the kiss with a promise, and the raw passion sends a surge of electricity through your veins.

The kiss deepens, the feral intensity transforming into a potent blend of desire and longing. Orm‘s lips move with a rhythmic urgency, leaving little room for doubt or hesitation. 

His fingers thread through your hair, a tactile exploration that sends shivers down your spine. Each touch, each caress, is a language of its own, conveying unspoken promises and a shared hunger for connection.

Breaking away, Orm rests his forehead against yours, his breath mingling with yours in the shared space.

Orm‘s eyes, still darkened with desire, lock onto yours with an intensity that leaves you breathless. His thumb traces your lower lip, a lingering touch that ignites a spark of anticipation.

“I didn‘t expect you to call me Ocean Master,” he remarks, a hint of amusement in his voice.

You laugh softly, still a bit breathless, “Well, you do seem to enjoy it.”

“Perhaps I do,” a wicked gleam enters Orm‘s eyes, and he bites down on your bottom lip before leaving a warm trail along your jawline.

Orm‘s movements are both tender and possessive, making you gasp beneath him. His touch leaves a trail of heat, a tantalising promise of more to come.

As he continues his journey, his hands find their way to the small of your back, pulling you closer. The room seems to shrink around you as Orm‘s body presses against yours, the closeness igniting a delicious ache of desire.

Orm‘s breath, warm and steady, fans over your skin, sending shivers down your spine. The scent of him, a mix of sea and musk, envelops you, adding to the intoxicating atmosphere.

You feel arousal pumping through your veins and driven by pure instinct, you lean up and whisper in his ear, “Or do you prefer to be called my king.”

#patrick wilson #aquaman #fanfiction #orm marius #orm marius x reader #prince orm #aquaman 2 #ocean master #patrick wilson x reader #patrick wilson smut #orm marius smut #aquaman smut #ocean master x reader #aquaman and the lost kingdom #arthur curry #aatlk #dceu #king orm #aquaman orm x reader #orm x you #orm x reader #aquaman orm #aquaman the lost kingdom

[tittyinfinity]

Tips for if you're ever prescribed pain medication for anything, from a chronic pain patient who's been on it for 12 years!

Always try to eat before taking it. Denser foods help a bit more, but get whatever you can get on your stomach, whether it be a full meal, half a bowl of cereal, yogurt, a smoothie, whatever you can handle. The less you eat, the less you can take all at once. If your appetite is low, try to eat a small snack (in my case it's downing jello and yogurt as fast as I can) and start off with half of your dose – you may find that your appetite comes back when the pain slightly lessens, and then you can eat more and take the rest. If you're still unable to eat more, you can still try taking more of the medication, but you won't be nearly as nauseous as you would have been taking it all at once. Pain medication can't do anything if it's coming right back up and out of you.

If you're having pain in your arms, hands, feet, and ESPECIALLY your legs – this really sucks ass to do, but try to move around a bit shortly after taking it to get your blood circulating and the medication through your system. I've noticed that my legs and knees are barely affected by my pain medication if I'm sitting/laying the entire time waiting for them to kick in. If you can't get up and walk around, laying on your sides and doing mild leg lifts or cycling helps a bit. It's hell to do anything if you're trying to get rid of knee pain, but worth it afterward. Otherwise, you might find yourself taking more pain medication than you need and risk making yourself nauseous – it definitely isn't worth it if the pills come right back up. And they WILL make you nauseous quick if you aren't used to pain medication. See point #1.

A lot of pain medication is mostly made of acetaminophen – snorting it to make it "hit quicker" isn't gonna work out well. You'll just waste it. You may get to that point of desperation if you can't eat anything and the pills won't stay down. Even if it does slightly help, it will be gone VERY quickly. Hell, cocaine is a lot stronger than prescribed medication, but you wouldn't try a line of coke if it was over 99% tylenol. Just don't do it.

Do not be afraid to ask for a different kind of pain medication if one isn't working out for you. I'm not familiar with every kind, but with the kinds I've tried (USamerican names): tramadol is generally the mildest option, but it still may affect you like regular pain medication. However, this one has a common side effect of all-over itchiness. (Norco) Hydrocodone 5/325s are usually the next option up. If you find yourself having to take multiple at a time for them to work, ask for them to switch you to 7.5s or 10s so you don't get too much acetaminophen in your system. For example, if you have a prescription of 30 hydro 5s and you're taking 2 at a time, a prescription of 15 hydro 10s will be easier on your stomach. Oxycodone (percocet) is a tiny bit stronger than the hydrocodone, so if you switch to that, you may want to start off with a smaller dose.

If your pain medication does not have another substance like acetaminophen or ibuprofen mixed into it, then it is USUALLY safe to take it along with an OTC medication like tylenol, advil, aleve, etc. Or, for example, if your medication has acetaminophen in it, you can alternate it with OTC ibuprofen every few hours.

Feel free to add any more advice, knowledge, or personal experiences!

#.bdo #chronic pain #i spent like 45 minutes typing this out jfc

[macgyvermedical]

Getting to Monday Morning: How Not to Go to the Emergency Department if You Don't Super Freaking Have To

Listen, I've re-written this intro a dozen times. I've talked about staffing in US hospitals (bad), I've touched on how the system backs up when staffing is bad (no staff on floors means ED stays full means new patients wait for hours or days to get a bed), I've even considered sharing my own experiences as a bedside nurse.

But the bottom line of all of it is that if your life or at least one limb doesn't absolutely depend on it, stay the heck out of the emergency department. And this post is here to help give you some tips for staying home until you can be seen by your primary care doctor or an urgent care.

Everything in this post (except an albuterol inhaler) is something you can find at a pharmacy without a prescription in the USA.

Officially, the following information is for educational use only.

What Conditions Are Life or Limb?

Lack of breathing or pulse

Blue or grey skin due to respiratory problems after taking prescribed rescue medications

An obvious hole in the chest wall

A sudden change in mental status that doesn't resolve within a few mins, especially if you don't know why

A head injury with worsening confusion or profuse vomiting

Abdominal pain that gets better when you press on the abdomen, or gets worse when you release pressure suddenly

Severe abdominal pain and not passing any gas

A musculoskeletal injury (fracture, sprain, etc...) with numbness, tingling, severe weakness, or very pale skin below the site of injury

Spurting bleeding that you can't stop, or numbness, severe weakness, or very pale skin below the site of injury once the bleeding is stopped, or if the bleeding required a tourniquet to stop

Red streaks spreading from a wound

Seizure that has lasted longer than 5 minutes without stopping, or which stops and starts without the person coming back to baseline in between

Chest pain without a known cause or with symptoms like nausea, weakness, sweating, or confusion

Any of the above, you want to call 911 or go to the hospital and explain exactly why you are there to the first person with a hospital badge you come across.

BUT

If it's pain or nausea or not-absolute-emergency respiratory problems from a known source or wounds or fever or skin infections, maybe consider some alternatives first.

PAIN:

OTC Meds: if you can take both acetaminophen (paracetamol/Tylenol) and an NSAID like ibuprofen, consider staggering them. For example, take 650mg acetaminophen at 0000, then 400mg ibuprofen at 0200, then acetaminophen at 0400, then ibuprofen at 0600, etc... This helps make sure one or the other medication is at it's peak effectiveness at all times (one study found pain control similar to 5mg oxycodone from a similar regimen). If it's night time consider OTC doxalamine (unisom) or diphenhydramine (benadryl) if you know they make you sleepy.

Acetaminophen works significantly better as a suppository. Sorry to tell you.

If it's muscle pain (back, neck, shoulder, menstrual cramps, broken bone more than a few days old) or arthritis pain, heat helps relax muscles and decrease stiffness. Try to get it as hot as you can without burning and wrap in something light like a pillow case. A hot water bottle or wheat pillow is great for this.

If it's an acute injury like a sprain or break that happened today, cold works better at decreasing pain, if not for helping the injury to heal. But pain is what we're dealing with here. You want several ice packs wrapped in a pillowcase or hand towel and wrapped all around the injury.

If the pain is an injury that is in a spot where you can elevate it (like a limb), elevate above the heart- this will significantly decrease throbbing.

Splinting an injury or recent surgery site decreases movement in that area, which decreases pain. If the injury is on a limb you can wrap a pillow around it and tape it in place. If it's abdominal (like a surgical incision) or in the chest area (like a cracked rib) you can hold a folded blanket against the site when you cough or move.

Abdominal pain can sometimes be partially relieved by bending the legs or laying on one side or the other.

For young children, sugar is an excellent distraction and is used in medical environments to relieve pain from short procedures.

NAUSEA/VOMITING/DIARRHEA/CONSTIPATION:

Nausea/Vomiting:

Any antihistamine that produces drowsiness will work on nausea. These include diphenhydramine, doxalamine, and dimehydrinate.

If unable to take by mouth, any of the above can be crushed, mixed with a small amount of softened coca butter or coconut oil, and frozen in the tip of a finger of a glove to make a suppository.

Once you stop vomiting, you can also take bismuth subsalicylate on top of an antihistamine.

Smelling mint or unscented isopropyl alcohol

Starting with an hour of trying to drink nothing at all, then 1oz of a clear liquid (water, electrolyte drink, peppermint tea, etc..) every half hour for an hour, then 1oz every 15 mins for an hour and slowly build up from there.

Sipping regular coca cola (I hate to mention a brand name, but coca cola has phosphoric acid in it (most off brands don't or have less), which is the same active ingredient as a lot of anti-nausea medications, and is a lot cheaper (and tastier) for the amount. It only works for about 20 minutes by slowing down your stomach's squishing your food around, but that's long enough to be able to drink other clear liquids in between).

Sipping soda water reduces stomach acidity and helps you burp, which often helps you feel better.

Cool wash cloths on the forehead or neck.

If someone has severe nausea that is causing worsening dehydration but no diarrhea, a slow tap water enema can be absorbed by the colon (up to 2 liters per day), which can often relieve some of the dehydration and help get someone to business hours.

Diarrhea:

Loperamide- for diarrhea not caused by antibiotics, loperamide is your friend. Read and follow the instructions. You need to take twice as much on the first poop as the rest of them. You do not need to "clear out" an infection. The infection itself is in the wall of the intestine, all you're doing by pooping a lot is spreading it around.

You can take bismuth subsalicylate with loperamide

One of the most dangerous parts of diarrhea is dehydration. A good electrolyte drink can be made by mixing 1/4 tsp table salt and 1/8 tsp potassium chloride salt replacer with a favorite drink mix and 8oz of water. Drink water too, but alternate with electrolyte drinks.

BRAT (banana, rice, applesauce, and toast), if eaten exclusively, will help reduce frequency.

Constipation:

A whole head of iceberg lettuce or a couple grapefruit or like half a thing of prunes all work. But you have to drink a lot of water with them or they'll just make it worse.

Docusate sodium. If that doesn't work add senna. If that doesn't work add milk of mag. If that doesn't work add mag citrate. If that doesn't work try a soap sud enema. I would wait 12 hours in between each, but to each their own.

Basically any stimulation of the rectum can help things move along.

FEVER:

First, don't try to get rid of a fever unless it is over 103F or the person is really, really uncomfortable.

OTC meds like acetaminophen, ibuprofen, aspirin, and naproxen all reduce fevers. If you need to you can stagger them (see instructions under "PAIN")

Cool wash cloths on the forehead or neck make things a little more comfortable

Loose-fitting, light clothing

Don't try to force a fever down with cold water or ice packs. If it is 105F or above and acetaminophen or an NSAID hasn't worked, that's something to go to a hospital about.

Prevent most of the problems with fevers by keeping the person very well hydrated (see Diarrhea above for instructions on hydration)

Calories are super important because the body is using a ton of them to keep the temp up. If the person isn't eating, 8oz whole chocolate milk with about a third of a flintstones vitamin (on the side) has essentially the same nutritional profile as an Ensure. And it tastes better. And it's way cheaper.

A brief seizure in a kid with a fever that happens once is fairly common and something to call a doctor about, a long seizure (more than 5 mins) is something to go to the hospital about.

RESPIRATORY PROBLEMS

If you have an albuterol inhaler but no spacer, you can make a kinda crappy one from a plastic bottle. Make a hole in the side just slightly larger than your inhaler mouthpiece. Stick the mouthpiece in, put your mouth on the mouth of the bottle, puff the inhaler, and breathe the medication in through the mouth.

Coffee and chocolate have caffeine and theobromine in them, both of which are bronchodilators

Breathing steam from a shower or a pot of boiling water can help loosen mucous in the lungs

Good hydration can help loosen mucous

Having the person lay at about a 45 degree angle gives the best range for the lungs to open fully

Sitting in "tripod position," a sitting position with the torso leaning forward and both arms pushing on knees

"Pursed lip breathing" you will probably have to look up a video on this, but it essentially creates some additional positive pressure in the airways that helps hold them open.

CUTS/OPEN WOUNDS/SKIN INFECTIONS:

Cuts/Open Wounds:

Stop the bleeding with pressure. This is literally just pushing on the cut, which pinches shut tiny blood vessels and allows them to clot off. If someone needs a tourniquet they need to go to the ED.

Clean the cut really well with plain water (if you would be comfortable drinking it, it's safe to wash wounds with). You want to get all visible particles of dirt or foreign material out

If water from the tap isn't enough pressure to do this, take a disposable water bottle and punch a small hole in the lid. Squeeze the bottle to put a pressurized stream of water into the cut to clean it.

If the wound isn't more than a half inch deep, you can close it yourself without stitches. Thin strips of very sticky cloth tape, dots of super glue, or even tying the wound together with the person's hair (if on the scalp) is great. If you have commercial closures those are great too. You just want to leave some open space to let the wound drain.

If the wound is deeper than that, pack it by taking clean gauze (kerlix is perfect for this) or in a pinch clean strips of long-fiber cloth, wetting them with water, and packing them in the wound. Put something on top of this to hold everything in place. Every 12-24 hours pull it all out and put clean stuff in. Note: any wound caused by an animal needs to be packed and seen by someone at the health department, usually within 48 hours for rabies prevention.

If it's really pulling at things in the wound, use some water to wet the fabric and loosen it up a bit. But you want some stuff to come out with the

Really shallow scrapes you can clean in a similar way but then just cover in petroleum jelly.

There is virtually no use for isopropyl alcohol, hydrogen peroxide, or triple antibiotic ointment. The former two may do more harm to healthy cells than to bacterial cells, the latter the antibiotics only last a few minutes and a lot of people are allergic to them. Just use water to clean and petroleum jelly if you have to cover something.

Skin or Wound Infections:

If you have a scrape or cut and a red, hot, painful area begins to creep outward around it, know you need to do something.

Start by drawing a line around the outside edge of the red area. This will help you track if it is getting bigger or smaller.

If it's bigger a few hours later, you need to do something quickly

Get a pot of water and 3 wash cloths

Boil the wash cloths in the water

Let the water cool to the point where it's really hot but won't burn the patient

Pull one of them out, wring the water out of it (it should be pretty uncomfortable to do this), and press it against the infected area. It will hurt.

When that wash cloth cools even a little, pull the next one out and do the same thing. Over time it will get less and less uncomfortable as the skin heats up to the temp of the wash cloths.

Rotate your wash cloths like this for 20-30 mins. If there is an abscess, it may burst during this process. That is a good thing. If there is a big opening, pack it (as described above), otherwise put a clean dressing over it and just let it drain.

Repeat this several times per day

If the site is getting bigger despite this, especially if this is happening quickly or there are streaks coming from the wound, go to the ED.

#healthcare #USA #self care #hospital life #life hacks #useful info #adulting

[spiderh0rse]

freemans mind notes pt1, ep 1-5. under cut, very long.

freeman's mind e1 notes

- he's on probation with the company, could easily get fired

- didn't immediately recognize the PA voice or the tram line he was riding on

- thinks very positively of robots- has a cousin named Jessie (sex offender. unspecified crime? sodomy laws still in action at the time. very well could've just been gay)

- doesn't want to be a witness in court

- petty workplace theft!!! knows his coworkers name, Steve

e2

- talks himself through what's either anxiety or trying to go unnoticed

- forms grudges very easily

- seems very comfortable making death threats. No reaction to it, so very possible people are used to his bluster

- acts out a conversation between management for a bit, seems to have at least a passing understanding of animal biology

- does Not know his way around AnMat today, bless him

- has been to a strip club. (Or simply associates techno music with them)

- thinks it's noodles in the microwave. Maybe it's some sort of noodle casserole? The ease with which he considers an attempt at theft here implies he does this often. Just. Steals someone else's food for his breakfast.

- yes, yes. Oxycodone locker.

- doesn't wear a tie. Has made a bomb threat to his workplace over having to wear one.

- someone seems to have swapped out the stuff in his locker with someone else's.

- his HEV suit normally has a helmet, but it's missing for some reason.

- dislikes the HEV suit voice.

- "left hand turn into a chaingun" sick hlvrai reference /j

e3 (like the conference no one cares about anymore)

- ongoing saga of Doesn't Know Where To Go

- Dislikes the concrete walls

- Monday.

- always wanted to be an evil scientist.

- bad evil laugh. Not sorry.

- dislikes greeting people he doesn't know.

- seems to enjoy reading out signs in front of him. Maybe also repeating words?

- the bulbs in AnMat aren't the nice UV ray sort

- another thought about robots being universally cool by default

- will listen to people he doesn't know for a moment if they praise him

- thought an explosion was... A sniper. Underground. In a very small room with only two entrances, one of them he entered from. A genius, this one. Does correct himself, so this is a gut reaction.

- cyrex processor hater. Correct.

- knows the spinning elevator, even if he doesn't remember the rest of AnMat.

- seems to dislike being dizzy. Despite that, has ridden rides built for the express purpose of making one dizzy

- may genuinely be the only bearded employee

- has played racquetball in the AMS chamber. This is the only reason there's security there.

- likes climbing things :) wishes he had a tail

- the List mentioned!

- makes funny lil pew noises here

- became a physicist to lord over antimatter particles

- does seem mildly concerned about safety procedures for a moment. Genuinely invested in the experiment going well

- HATES string theory. Correct.

- hates when people other than him do silly words. so rude.

- just starts. Saying stuff. Running his mouth when hes panicking

- the ableism starts early (schizophrenic line)

e4

- the frog people story,, was awake for four days straight

- likely has watched star trek TOS (references Dr McCoy)

- captain gordon freeman of the intergalactic house of pancakes...

- babes in the biology department! that is actually pretty accurate, women go into wet sciences more often than they do pure math ones

- *not* a necrophiliac. thank god

- apparently has a record of computers blowing up when he uses them (karkat type beat)

- perfectly fine looting black mesa after the rescas, before he sees any aliens

- no reaction to the words "resonance cascade" aside from "Sucks."

- has seen "Alien"

- doesn't want eggs laid in his chest 😔 out of my way gayboy I'm about to get it

- multiple counts of avoiding stepping in blood

- doesn't bring weapons into the workplace

- knows no martial arts but wanted to learn for a while

- enjoys playing limbo!

- he got his first gun: the crowbar

- no real reaction to killing three people on accident. Does apologize though! Hopes they were jerks at least

e5

- has always wanted to kill people by pressing a button. The experience is underwhelming.

- all for shooting down the zombies but doesn't reason out what they are for a bit

- has seen the wizard of oz

- wants to harvest the corpses for organs

- has been arrested at least once

- thinks he still has a job at this place. lol. lmao.

- triangle shirtwaist factory mention!! I loved learning about that place. Worst workplace accident in terms of sheer amount of deaths in recorded history. It's why we've got the regulations around fire exits and some of the building regulations we do

- is at least willing to try and save the guy on the catwalk

- avoids the blood Again! Cleanliness :>

- hates computers in General

- creeped out by the zombie by the computer. Elects to leave.

- happily loots a corpse for weapons

#Freeman's Mind #Gordon Freemind #Long post #mindverse #rmanotes

[sophisticatedjunkieslut]

First Time

I struggled with opiate addiction through high school. I was prescribed 9 oxycodone a day due to a small bulging disk and a shitty doctor. I was also on Vyvanse (which I sold or traded, ew to uppers.) and 2 mg Xanax a day. god I miss that script. I had finally gotten off the opiates at 17/18, but I was never planning on ditching the benzos. my addiction seemed to get better, but really my tolerance was just building so I wasting slurring my words or nodding out anymore. Xanax actually made me wake up. I have such bad anxiety that taking benzos makes it possible for me to function. even now, on Suboxone, I would give up all my meds just to keep my pins. but that's a different story, today were going to talk about heroin. love of my life. I had been asked out by one of my ex boyfriends friends and I thought he was the greatest guy ever. I had never even seen heroin, I don't even think I had ever taken anything other than real oxy 5s at the time. We were talking behind Shaws in his car, I don't remember why. all of a sudden a cop pulled up and started questioning us. I pretended we were having an argument and my ability to cry on command helped I sure. Once the cops pulled away, the guy I was with (lets call him D) let out a huge sigh of relief, "I have heroin in my boot"... "what?" my heart started to beat faster as it always did when I was around drugs. this was different though, this guy wasn't an addict that used everyday, but this was HEROIN. I couldn't tell if I was more scared or excited. I didn't say much and we drove to his house. He pulled a baggy with some brown powder out of his shoe. he played himself out a line and asked me if I wanted one. I had never said no to drugs before, and I certainly wasn't gonna stop now. "sure" my mouth said as my brain screamed no. some small piece of me knew I was never going back the second I felt it. it was so beautiful. just like people describe, a warm blanket on a cold day. numbness. nothingness. writing this now all I want Is to get high. im stuck at home without anything. I laid back on his bed. I was floating and I knew I would never be the same again. once your brain feels heroin, all the normal things in life become so unimportant. If I have heroin, ill feel good forever.

#heroin #addiction #nodsquad #nod #opiate #benzo #drug #powder

[lifewithchronicpain]

On May 24, I had my regularly scheduled pain management appointment. The prescription for my normal regimen of 10mg oxycodone was sent electronically to my local CVS pharmacy. About an hour later, I received a text from CVS saying they received the prescription from my doctor.

I followed up later through their automated system. That is the moment of shocking revelation when I learned that my prescription was not going to be filled on time, and that it may not be ready until a week after my fill date.

Utterly panicked, heart racing, thinking and speaking a mile a minute, I contacted the pharmacy. They confirmed they were out of 10mg oxycodone tablets.

“What am I supposed to do?” I asked. A woman who I don’t know replied that I should try contacting other pharmacies.

Really? I can’t do that. Pharmacies won’t tell me, the patient, if they have a supply of a controlled substance. So she looked it up and said it looks like “X” pharmacy has it and that I should have my doctor send the prescription there. Unfortunately, by the time my provider received the message, it was too late.

I made multiple calls to another pharmacy and they were extremely rude. I called my pharmacy again. This time I spoke with a pharmacist that knew me. He was very understanding, as we discussed what to do next. (Read more at link)

#disability #chronic pain #ableism #opioids #spoonies #opioidphobia #chronic illness #prescription opioids #article

[anaaxiety]

Just getting started 🤤

Also gonna sniff some oxy in a bit 💊

#drugblr #drugs #drug blog #drug addict #addiction #addict #girls who do hard drugs #girls who do lines #girls who snort #substance abuse #girls who smoke weed #smoke ganja #oxycodone #oxycontin #oxy #opiodaddiction #opiods #nod squad #nodsquad #420girl #smoke weed everyday #soft drug #relaxation #stoned #stoner #ganja girls #weedblr #weed nugs #joint #white widow

[xxxtentacionmerchstore]

Rapper XXXTentacion's life ended in violence.

XXXTentacion was proud to have fought from a young age and said that at the age of 6 he tried to fight a man who lived with his mother. Onfroy grew up in Broward County, Florida, which is densely populated and economically diverse, with many supermarkets lined with low-rise frame houses. XXXTentacion said his parents are Jamaican and also claimed on his personal Tumblr page that his ancestors were of Egyptian, Indian, German and Italian blood.

This chaotic journey is also reflected in his taste in music. When hip-hop magazine XXL hailed XXXTentacion as an upcoming talent with a cover photo in 2017, the rapper was asked about the artists who inspired him, naming a range of names from rock to punk, including Kurt Cobain, Papa Roach, Cage the Elephant and even the British band Coldplay.

"I'm more inspired by other artists than rap," said XXXTentacion. He's had a rebellious personality since childhood and XXXTentacion showed that with his looks. There are many photos of XXXTentacion with tattoos visible, such as a tree on his forehead, an elephant's head on his neck, and the word "Cleopatra". on the chest in honor of his mother, Cléopâtre Bernard. In

Bernard gave birth to a son Onfroy when she was only 17-18 years old and had to work hard to raise him 'restless'; Son. "My mother didn't mind taking care of me, so she just referred me to someone who could take care of me.I wasn't living in good circumstances at the time” XXXTentacion shared once. Then Onfroy realized his punches were an easy way to get his mother's attention.

"At school, I would fight with a lot of my classmates and say a lot of dirty things just to hear my mom yell or talk to me," XXXTentacion said.

Heavy fighting resulted in Onfroy being expelled from high school. At the age of 12 he lived mainly with his grandmother.In high school, Onfroy was arrested for armed robbery, possession of oxycodone pain medication, gun possession, and resisting law enforcement.

In prison, he wrote music that eventually became a hit.

However, XXXTentacion's life ended when he was shot and killed.

In March, XXXTentacion's second studio album "?" topped the Billboard 200. However, that success came at the same time he was awaiting trial in Broward, Fla. for brutally assaulting and jailing a pregnant woman, his girlfriend Geneva Ayala.Ayala told the Miami New Times about the horrifying attack.

Ayala revealed that she was repeatedly hit by XXXTentacion every three to four days during the summer of

in 2016. The rapper strangled her, tore off her clothes, hung her upside down and threatened to cut off her hair and tongue. XXXTentacion also stabbed her, slicing her face and holding her head under water.

XXXTentacion continued to be violent towards Ayala even after she was discovered by

in October 2016 that she was pregnant.That same month he was arrested and charged with assaulting a pregnant woman. However, he has always denied the allegations.

In addition to physically assaulting his girlfriend, XXXTentacion has also stirred controversy by arguing with viewers and hurling vulgar insults at Superstar Drake.

But legal troubles couldn't stop XXXTentacion's initial success. With the endorsement of SoundCloud and praise from rap stars like Danny Brown and A$AP Rocky, his reputation has steadily grown.

"Look At Me" debuted on the Billboard Hot 100 in February 2017. During this time, the rapper was constantly arrested and imprisoned for various crimes. When her debut album, titled 17, was released in August, it reached number two on the Billboard chart.

The album XXXTentacion "?" to the top of the charts and the single "Sad!" It was certified double platinum and reached the top 5 on the rap and R&B charts. From 2017 to date, 16 songs by XXXTentacion have made the Billboard Hot 100 chart.

When XXXTentacion was awarded by XXL magazine, a controversy broke out. "Should XXXTentacion be here? He should be in prison.He has a criminal record," Pitchfork asked in reference to the rapper's criminal record.

Attention all XXXTentacion fans! If you are a true music lover and passionate about XXXTentacion's unique sound, be sure to visit the XXXTentacion

store. You can find it here all of the late rapper's latest and greatest merchandise, from t-shirts and hoodies to hats and accessories.

The XXXTentacion Store offers a wide range of merchandise that showcases his individuality and creativity.Whether you're looking for something bold and eye-catching or something simple and understated, you're sure to find something that suits your style. And because new products are constantly being added, you'll stay up to date with the latest trends and styles.

So don't wait any longer! Visit the XXXTentacion Store today and see for yourself why fans around the world are raving about the amazing products and designs. Visit https://naruto-shippuden.store/ to start shopping now.

#xxxtentacionmerch #xxxtentacionmerchstore

[rivetgoth]

I think one thing I’m sad about wrt my reaction to MDMA is the fact that every single person I know, even those with adverse effects, talk about that loveydovey affectionate touchy cuddly feeling and I don’t get that at ALL. I don’t feel any desire to be near people and honestly touch sensation feels decreased… I kinda just want to be given space. I feel like the best way to describe the way MDMA has felt to me is 1. Like I’ve been hit by a slow motion ray and can only move at like half speed or less, my motions feel slower and my thoughts feel slower and I feel like I can practically see motion lines as I move my limbs 2. Portions of my own brain have been locked away from me and I can’t fully access my own thoughts. Almost similar to being drunk except way more lucid. 3. A very very physical inability to feel anything but euphoria concentrated super deeply in my chest. It’s reminiscent of the times I’ve taken Xanax or medical opioids, where it’s like no matter what else is happening you’re physically locked into a certain feeling. Xanax caps your anxiety at a certain level so you just physically can’t be anxious. With stuff like oxycodone I feel like it feels physically impossible to feel unhappy. With MDMA it’s kinda like that, where there’s just a very prevalent euphoria deep in my chest, but it’s very strange because at the same time that disconnectedness from other people and my thoughts is really uncomfortable, and I just kinda end up feeling like I’m ready for it to stop so I can have my mind back, but I physically can’t freak out about it either.

I remember when Angel described MDMA she was like “you’re physically incapable of not moving and moving a bunch just feels really good,” when I did it we bought gum for chewing and had stuff set up for sensations to touch and stuff, but in my head I was like “I’m already constantly moving so I can’t imagine what MDMA would do to me!” But it turns out the answer is the exact opposite. I didn’t want to move, I felt so slow and tired I could practically fall asleep right there. When I went to bed that night I woke up an hour or two later with my thoughts racing and I literally could tell that it was because it had worn off. I felt like my thoughts had sped back up to normal pace and I’d started to tic again for the first time in hours and I felt so much more hyperactive and alert. It’s so weird. I really wanna know what exactly is happening in my brain chemistry to give me this reaction 😭 No party drug for me but at least there’s always LSD. :)

#also it takes almost 3 hours for it to hit for me. every time.

[ghostonly]

FTM Top Surgery Q&A - Installment #2

1-Week Post-Op Recovery and Progress

Welcome to installment #2! If you're new here, I'm currently working on a Q&A / Series combo where I outline my experience with FTM top surgery as a large, disabled guy with ADHD and low income. I'll also answer any questions sent in to me. Currently, I haven't received any questions. If you have any now or when you're done reading this post, feel free to send them to me. I'll be taking questions all the way until May of 2023, when the series should be wrapping up.

If you want to know more about the series, check out the announcement here or visit the installment masterlist here.

For this second installment, I'll be covering the first week post-op, what it was like, what changed, and so on. There will be progress pictures included.

Content Warning: There are photos under the cut showing incision sites from as early as a couple of days after surgery. If you're squeamish or triggered by blood, scars, wounds, bruises, or just a generally beat-up looking part of the body, I recommend skipping to a later installment.

If anyone is interested in reading my notes without looking at pictures, please let me know and I'll copy the commentary to a new post with the images excluded.

This installment should be the longest of the bunch, since it introduces so much starter information. If the length is overwhelming, fear not; the others won't be as big.

So to start, here's me after I got home! Very tired and sore

Sore Throat

The worst part of the first few days home after surgery was the sore throat from the breathing tube. The best remedy for this was drinking tea constantly. I kept a bit of a side-bar on my bed with a folded up blanket where I had my med basket and set up a hard surface to keep drinks on and this spot was occupied by a glass of hot tea about 90% of each day and night.

I know a lot of people prefer cold on a sore throat over hot but, looking it up, I found a couple places saying warm fluids are more helpful in the long run. I found this to be true. Ice cream felt amazing in the moment because the cold numbed the area, but the hot tea relaxed my throat and made the soreness go away longer.

Pain Levels

I was on oxycodone-acetaminophine for the rest of the pain and it worked pretty well. Everyone I told about this (3 others who had had top) was like, "Oh, they gave you the good stuff," and then went on to say that they hadn't used the pain meds as long as they were allowed to, which I did not understand.

My pain levels after surgery seemed to be a lot higher than those of my friends who had had top done. The original prescription of pain meds was enough to last about 3-4 days and they gave me a second prescription as well. All in all, I was on those meds for about a week and I was in misery when I had to go off of them the following Wednesday. If this ends up being your experience, ask your doctor if there's a pain medication halfway between opioid and over-the-counter that they can prescribe. Mine prescribed me a synthetic opioid called tramadol. I was too late to pick it up for it to be there when I needed it, which is why I wish I'd known to ask for this ahead of time.

My pain levels were manageable, but not pleasant, even on the pain meds. Aside from my throat, the worst pain was actually the drain exits, followed by the nipple bolsters, then the incisions. I'll get to these in more detail in a moment.

The Compression Binder

After surgery, you get wrapped up in a compression binder. I think there are other types of post-op binders, but mine is plain white with one vertical end lined in about 2 inches of velcro (so it's strong and won't come undone)

Most doctors insist you wear this for a month post-op, ~24-hours a day, but some say 2 weeks or 6 weeks. It depends on what doctor you go to. Mine wants me to wear mine 6 weeks. By the end of week 2, I was about 90% sure I was not going to do this, but now that my drains are out, I think I probably will. More on that in the 3-4 week installment.

The Drains

While there are some cutting edge top surgeons who will operate without using drains, they're still the default.

Post-op drains are basically rubber bulbs with a thin, squishy, rubber tub that runs in through the skin and into the surgery site to collect fluids. This is because your body is pissed that it's been fucked with in this particular manner and sends all kinds of water and shit to collect there, presumably in an effort to heal it faster (which it doesn't).

The content of the drains has to be measured daily, which is a pain in the ass but, ultimately, not a big deal. They give you a little sample cup with measuring marks on the sides.

To measure the fluid output, you just pop the top off the bulb (the container at the end of the drains) and pour it into the sample cup. After checking the amount on the side, you dump it into the toilet. Then you repeat with the other bulb and write down the output on a piece of paper.

My doctor said that when I got to less than 10cc of output from each in a 24 hour period, I could get the drains out.

First Follow-Up - 24 Hours

Brutal as it is to make someone leave the house just under 24 hours after surgery, the first follow-up was the next day.

This follow-up, as annoying as it was to leave for, was exciting because it meant getting to take the binder off for the first time. They had me come in and lie down on a long exam chair (think something like a dentist's chair) and undid the binder.

There was a bunch of gauze packed in it from right after surgery, which I was told I could remove. They also told me that, if I wanted to, I could put on a shirt under the binder to help pad things and create a barrier between my skin and the binder (which is kind of rough and unpleasant).

With the gauze removed, here's what it looked like (taken the next day)

About the Pain Sites

I'll call each area affected by the surgery a pain site and cover what each is and what sucks about it in order of most to least suckiness.

Drains

So, the first pain site is caused by the drains. Generally, the only painful part of them is the exit hole. The drain tube is really soft and flexible, so it's not much of a bother where it's sitting inside. In fact, you generally won't feel it at all unless you squeeze out the drain tubes and create a suction, which can kind of sting. The drains run along the bottom of each pec, near where the stitches/scar are. They run all the way back, under the arm, and exit through a separate hole there. You can see in the image above where it's hanging from the exit hole.

The drain exit gave me a bitch of a time. First off, try your best not to accidentally pull on it like I did. I was conscious of this the whole time I had them in but, a few days after surgery, I lifted my arm, not realizing it was under the tube, and pulled on it a bit. The reason this sucked is because, at the exit hole, there is a stitch tightly looped through the skin and around the drain tube to keep it from coming out. You can imagine how good that felt :)

For the first week, the drains got progressively more and more irritated because your body isn't really a fan of having a hole in it that's not allowed to heal.

The most important part of keeping the drains from being a (pretty literal) thorn in your side is to ensure they're kept pointed back so that they're not pulling on the exit in a different direction than they're running. I used bandaids and then medical tape to tape them down. That way, if the tube tried moving downward, it would pull on the tape and not the exit hole.

Nipple Bolsters

The next pain site is the nipple bolters. These are the thick bits of padding that are stitched onto the nipples to protect them. They're both kind of hard and have stitches running through them to the perimeter of the nipples.

These aren't too bad. The really irritating part of them was that, because they stick out further than everything else, they're the first thing to pull when the binder moves. So, if you twist your core, the binder will want to stay in place and your nipples want to move with the body, creating some drag. This will tug at the stitches and hurt, limiting your core movement.

The other annoying thing is that, again, because they stick out further than everything else, the pressure from the binder pushes them in pretty hard. I was worried this would leave my nipples indented or something but it doesn't.

Incisions

Finally, there are the incisions. These are actually the least troublesome part of healing for the first week. They're pretty numb.

These are stitched with dissolving stitches on the inside and taped shut on the outside. In the picture above, it's hard to see, but there's a clear tape about 2 inches wide going from one end of each incision to the other. This tape is very very strong. It's like a solid piece of adhesive with mesh running through it. There's no apparent backing to it so it's sticky and obnoxious and stays there for a couple weeks.

Near the end of the first week, I started to regain some feeling in the scar area, mostly in twinges. If I moved too far or used my chest muscles too much, I'd get these tight pains. Otherwise, they weren't really notable. I was much more focused on the drain exit pains, since the exits really ached.

Range of Motion

So I was told by most people that you can't lift your arms past your chest for like a month after surgery, and this wasn't the case for me.

I'm not sure if this is because my skin functions and stretches differently because of the probable EDS, or if it's something else. I was able to lift my right, upper arm to about 120 degrees. Adding in the fact that I've got a whole forearm attached to that, I had a lot more reach than I thought I would. The key is just stretching very slowly so that if you hit a limit you notice right away. My left arm was slightly more limited for some reason - possibly because the incision seems to go back farther on that side.

Within a couple days of surgery, I was even able to put regular shirts on and off. The key to this was that the shirts I was putting on were either stretchy or a bit oversized, so they made up for what my range of motion lacked.

Movement

Another thing I wasn't sure what to expect on was how much I'd be able to move. It turned out, I could move quite a bit. It was the little movements that you can't really avoid that caused discomfort or twinges of pain. Getting out of bed and going to the bathroom and whatnot was no big deal as long as I didn't like, yeet myself out of bed.

Keeping a hand pressed to my chest for stability was helpful as well. The biggest thing is just making slow motions. Large motions that jostle things around is what leads to pain.

Binder Management

I had a bit of a hard time with the binder as someone with a belly and with asthma, so here's what I took from that.

Tightness and Position

For the first week, I don't think I had the binder tight enough. This was fine, generally, because the nipple bolsters prevented the chafing from causing any actual damage (even if it was uncomfortable).

I thought I had it tight enough because it felt snug, but I later realized that making it even tighter prevented some of the binder movement and chafing that was causing me trouble with my drain exits and bolsters. Part of the reason I didn't put it tighter was because of the size and position of it. I experimented with this a lot and have got some great advice for you.

The experimenting I did with the binder mostly had to do with folding it in different ways. The trouble with wearing something that goes down your torso when you have a belly is that your belly is pushing upwards on it. So, any time I sat up, it was pushing upwards on my chest and trying to move things that I didn't want moved.

The kind of binder I was given is made up of 4 panels that are sewn together. You can see what I mean in the first picture. These panels are sewn together with a lot of thread, but the thread is kind of weak, so it can easily be bent at those areas.

Folding one of the panels up made my shape less of an issue. However, there was still enough of the binder overlapping my stomach to cause discomfort when sitting. So, next I folded it in half. Trying to fold it in half upward was kind of difficult and would have ended up with the open side of the fold toward my face, which seemed irritating. Instead, I figured out how to fold it in half downward, before putting it on, overlapping the sides to secure it, then pulling up the top layer of the non-velcro side before securing the velcro.

I'm not going to try explaining that better because, in the end, it doesn't matter. The better method was, after okaying it with my doctor, cutting the entire thing in half the long way. Now I have, basically, two binders that are both only wide enough to cover my chest instead of chest and stomach. I also cut about 6 inches off the non-velcro end because it was a bit too long to secure tight enough with ease.

With a more narrow binder that covers just my chest, and a bit shorter so that I can easily secure it much tighter, I now have less chafing and less interference from other body parts.

The important thing when gauging tightness is to make sure you can easily fit a hand under it. If you can pull it out a bit, that's also good, as it means more expansion for your lungs and also the ability to adjust it while you're wearing it.

Asthma

So, my asthma is triggered by all kinds of stuff, including pressure on my chest and lying on my back. So, wearing a binder and lying on my back 24/7 after surgery was really great! :)

I was coughing almost nonstop for the first few days, both from asthma and from the sore throat. If you have asthma or have had asthma in the past, and don't have an inhaler, get one before you have surgery. If anything is going to bring it back up again, this is probably it.

If you don't think you have asthma, I would like to inform you that asthma is not the way it's portrayed dramatically in TV. Your throat doesn't just close off like you're going into anaphylaxis.

These are symptoms of regular asthma:

Wheezing or crackling sounds when breathing (most common after physical exertion or breathing outside in the cold) These will not be noticeable if you're breathing more shallowly, which you will naturally do if you start to have asthma. To check for wheezing, take a deep breath and exhale forcefully.

Difficulty taking a deep breath without coughing

Pain in your chest when you try taking a deep breath

Difficulty breathing in cold air

Continued cough that you can't think of another cause for

Phlegm (this is made by your lungs to try and catch whatever triggered the asthma)

Stuffed up nose in combination with cough (I don't know if this is for everyone, but when I have asthma, one of the first signs to me is that my nose is hard to breathe through. I'll exhale hard to see if I'm wheezy and find I've been having asthma without realizing it.)

If you experience these things, talk to your PCP before surgery. Getting an inhaler is usually covered by insurance, including medicaid, and will be your best friend if you start having asthma attacks after surgery.

Specifically because of the amount of asthma I had the first few days after surgery, I think it might have been better that I didn't have the binder on tighter than I did. As time passed, the pressure from the binder and the lying on my back caused less asthma. I think part of the reason it was triggering it before was some kind of subconscious panic response from my lungs because the position and sensation were unfamiliar and my lungs thought something was terribly wrong. After the asthma stopped being so persistent from the pressure and position, tightening the binder a bit didn't pose a problem.

My biggest advice is this: make sure you breathe deliberately every once in a while. Every ten minutes or so, take a nice slow, deep breath. If the pressure from the binder is inhibiting your breathing, this will help keep your oxygen levels up. After the first couple days of trying to remind yourself to do this, you'll just start to remember naturally to pay some amount of attention to whether you're breathing enough.

Shirt Under Binder

After the first follow-up, I was told I'm allowed to take my binder off for repositioning or cloth-baths. The first thing I did when I got home was take it off, use alcohol prep pads to try getting rid of some of the sticky shit surrounding the incision tape (not the tape itself), and put on a tank top under the binder.

Putting on a shirt under the binder is like, so necessary imo. The binder I got is kind of a scratchy material, so having it directly on my skin was crap. Plus, I wanted another layer between the binder and my chest and nipple bolsters after the gauze bandaging was no longer there so that there was something for the binder to slide against without directly rubbing against the surgical site.

I chose to use some shirts that weren't my most favorite, in case they got blood or adhesive on them that wouldn't come out. I don't think there was any blood on them, but they did get sticky with adhesive. I don't think any of that stayed on after going through the wash though.

When the fabric gets sticky after a day or so of being shoved up against the sticky incision tape, it loses that additional movement it was adding. So instead of moving slightly when the binder rubs against it, the friction would cause the fabric to pull at the skin where it was stuck. That was my signal for changing my shirt.

Food and Drink

If you don't have a personal assistant who's going to cook for you and bring you things, you need to prep for what you'll eat ahead of time.

Accessible Foods

The biggest piece of advice I can give is to plan ahead with accessible foods. Have a variety of snacks, both sweet and salty, wet and dry, so that when you need something to eat and don't have the energy to put different things together, you have something appealing on hand. Keep them within reach of your bed.

If you have a shelf or table, put it beside your bed where it won't make getting up difficult. If you've got a large bed you're not sharing, consider making some kind of spot on a wall-adjacent side to set things. I did this by folding up a big blanket so it's about 1x4 feet and a few inches thick and laid it against the wall next to me. This gave me somewhere to set my meds basket, a couple snack containers, and a hard surface for setting drinks. (Just be careful if you intend to set open drinks here. Spilling something in bed after surgery is like, one of those things that would straight up give me a breakdown lmao)

Prepare foods ahead of time. I picked all the meat off of some rotisserie chickens as well as cleaned and sliced a ton of strawberries. The chicken I ate in tortillas with some shredded cheese and tomatoes. That was one of my favorite meals in the first week because it could be prepped in about ten minutes, sitting at the desk, and it didn't make any mess to eat in bed.

Other considerations are frozen meals, ice cream, fruit drinks with some amount of natural sugar to keep your blood sugar up when you don't feel like eating, and things you can eat on crackers, like tuna. Tuna Creations pouches are great for this.

Fluids

As far as fluids go, I recommend keeping a water bottle with you and just chugging that shit as often as you can. If you don't have a personal servant fetching you things, 100% keep some kind of big water vessels with you for refilling.

I like tropicana bottles because they have a wide opening so don't Glug when you pour from them. They're almost 2 liters. If you're going to get some juice to drink beforehand and harvest the bottles from as makeshift pitchers, I recommend going with orange juice. For some reason the taste doesn't get into the plastic as much as something like the strawberry peach juice. Just wash it with hot water after you're done and keep the bottle aside for later. Remember to keep the lid off if you plan to have it sitting in wait so it can dry and doesn't grow bacteria.

Keeping some large bottles of water nearby means not having to get up as much and, if you live with stairs, not having to go downstairs as much. Frankly, if you're disabled, highly recommend just keeping these around regardless of if you're recovering from surgery or not. I have a mini fridge, so I also have the added perk of keeping them cold.

Next up, hot tea. 100% if you enjoy any kind of tea at all, keep it around. I had a box of sleepytime tea (which I just drink because it's a good blend) and I used the entire thing in like 5 days. Tea for the first few days is a life saver because of the sore throat. Personally, I have an electric kettle that I keep in my room, so making tea is really easy. If you've got an electric kettle in your kitchen, move it to your nesting area and bring a bunch of hotcups or mugs with you.

If you don't have a microwave or kettle near where you'll be nesting after surgery, I recommend changing that, but I know not everyone has the money to throw down on new appliances.

If you live alone and have a free-standing microwave in your kitchen, it might be worth moving closer temporarily if you have things near your nest to heat up, like canned soup. This is especially true if you have a mini fridge near your nest. This is more likely to be helpful if you live on a different floor from the kitchen and have a mini fridge. If you're on the same floor and don't have a mini fridge (thus, keeping all of your cold food in the kitchen anyway), it's more likely to just make more work.

Fighting Constipation

Anesthesia causes constipation. Pretty sure opioid pain meds also cause constipation, but could be wrong. Either way, after surgery, your body will not want to shit.

If you don't enjoy putting chalk stool softener in your drinks, I highly recommend having some fruit prepared and some coffee on hand.

I know it's not a universal thing, but I'm one of those people who coffee makes shit. If you are too, keep some on hand and start drinking it in the days following surgery. Be sure to drink lots of other water to offset the diuretic effect of coffee.

As far as fruit, everyone works differently but, for me, a bunch of apples worked pretty well. I know it's probably not like, the most healthy choice, but I found out a week or two before surgery that eating a bunch of apples in one sitting would definitely get the desired outcome, somehow with no stomachache, which is a rarity for someone with my digestive issues. I thought they would give me a stomachache because apple juice does, but empire apples and caramel dip did nothing but move everything along. I'm talkin' 4 apples in one sitting.

It sounds like a lot but if you slice them all up and eat them as a meal, it's not as much as it sounds. For anyone smaller than me, I'd recommend more like 3, since 4 was pretty filling for me. Stool softening powder can kiss my ass, basically.

Healing Progress

Finally, now that I've gone through all of the details, here are a couple photos of the healing progress about 6 days after surgery, one from each side:

The tape is more visible in these two because it's got some remnants of kleenex stuck to it that I used to try preventing my shirt from sticking to it (yum, I know).

And a selfie of me where I am very happy to be flat (but still tired asf)

Conclusion

I think that's about all I can think of for week 1. Let me know if you have any questions!

Here's another link to the installment list if you want to see what else there is but don't want to scroll back up. Follow me or the #ghostsurgeryseries tag to keep up-to-date on the next installments! the 2-week progress installment should be done soonish~

#ftm #ftm top surgery #top surgery #trans #transgender #queer #lgbt #lgbtq #lgbtqia #lgbt+ #lgbtq+ #surgery #q&a #transman #transmasc #ghostsurgeryseries

[grinsekaatzee]

i want to make myself numb so badly

smoke something, taking pills

i have some xannax and tilidine left here but i feel like i need something better, smth harder

oxycodon, morphine maybe? i want so stay away from things line this because i like it a little bit too much. i am scared to loose everything to this

but in some way.

I want to lose everything?

[seoadmin]

How can I remedy from back pain

Steps to lower the risk of developing back pain consistTrusted Source mainly of addressing some of the risk factors.

Exercise

Regular exercise helps build strength and manage body weight. Guided, low impact aerobic activities can boost heart health without straining or jerking the back.

More info buy oxycodone online

Before starting any exercise program, a person should consult a healthcare professional.

There are two main types of exercise that people can do to reduce the risk of back pain:

Core-strengthening exercises work the abdominal and back muscles, helping strengthen muscles that protect the back.

Flexibility training aims at improving core flexibility, including the spine, hips, and upper legs.

Diet

A person’s diet should include sufficient amounts of calcium and vitamin D, as these are crucial for bone health.

A balanced diet also helps manage body weight.

Smoking

A significantly higher percentage of people who smoke have back pain incidences, compared with individuals who do not smoke and who are of the same age, height, and weight.

Body weight

The weight people carry and where they carry it affects the risk of developing back pain.

People with obesity are at considerably higher risk of experiencing back pain than those with a moderate body weight.

Moreover, people who carry excessive weight in the abdominal area rather than in the buttocks and hip area are also at greater risk.

Posture when standing

Make sure you have a neutral pelvic position. Stand upright, with the head facing forward and a straight back, and balance your weight evenly on both feet. Keep your legs straight and your neck in line with the rest of the spine.

Posture when sitting

A good seat for working should have good back support, arm rests, and a swivel base.

When sitting, try to keep your knees and hips level and keep your feet flat on the floor or use a footstool. You should be able to sit upright with support in the small of your back.

If you are using a keyboard, make sure that there is a 90-degree angle between the upper arm and forearm.

Lifting

When lifting things, use your legs, not your back, to do the lifting.

Maintain a long spine and keep your feet apart, with one leg slightly forward so that you can maintain balance. Bend only at the knees, hold the weight close to your body, and straighten the legs while changing the position of your back as little as possible.

Bending your back initially is unavoidable, but when you bend your back, try not to stoop and be sure to draw your low belly in so that your pelvis stays neutral and supported. Most importantly, do not straighten your legs before lifting, or you will be using your back for most of the work.

Avoid lifting and twisting at the same time

If something is particularly heavy, see whether you can lift it with someone else. While you are lifting it, keep looking straight ahead, not up or down, so that the neck is in alignment with the rest of the spine.

Moving things

It is safer for the back to push, not pull, things across the floor, as that way, you will be using your leg strength.

Shoes

Shoes with a low heel place less of a strain on the back. However, some flat shoes with minimal support, such as flip-flops, can also contribute to back pain.

Driving

It is important to have proper support for your back when driving.

Make sure the wing mirrors are properly positioned so that you do not need to twist. The pedals should be squarely in front of your feet.

If you are driving for a long time, have many breaks. Get out of the car and walk around.

Bed

You should use a mattress that keeps the spine properly aligned and supports the weight of the shoulders and buttocks. Also, use a pillow that does not force your neck into a steep angle.

[mental-mona]

TL;DR Opioids should not be your first line of treatment, nor should they be used regularly - not because of addiction, but because using them 10+ days per month can lead to medication overuse headaches! MOH is harder to treat than the initial migraines would've been.

#migraine #migraine treatment #opioids #health info #health information