you're in the habit of denying yourself things.
if someone asked you directly, you would say that you love a little treat. you like iced coffee and getting the cookie. you drink juice out of a fancy cup sometimes, and often do use your candles until they gutter out helplessly.
but you hesitate about buying the 20 dollar hand mixer because, like. you could just use your arms. you weren't raised rich. you don't get to just spend the 20 dollars (remember when that could cover lunch?), at least - you don't spend that without agonizing over it first, trying to figure out the cost-benefits like you are defending yourself in front of a jury. yes, this rice cooker could seriously help you. but you do know how to make stovetop rice and it really isn't that hard. how many pies or brownies would you actually make, in order to make that hand mixer worthwhile?
what's wild is that if the money was for a friend, it would already be spent. you'd fork over 40 without blinking an eye, just to make them happy. the difference is that it's for you, so you need to justify it.
and it sneaks in. you ration yourself without meaning to - you don't finish the pint of ice cream, even though you want to. the next time you go to the store, you say ah, i really shouldn't, and then you walk away. you save little bits of your precious things - just in case. sometimes you even go so far as putting that one thing in your shopping cart. and then just leaving it there, because maybe-one-day, but not right now, there's other stuff going on.
you do self-care, of course. but you don't do it more than like, 3 days in a row. after that it just feels a little bit over-the-edge. like. you can't live in decadence, the economy is so bad right now, kid.
so you don't buy the rice cooker. you can-and-will spend the time over the stove. you can withstand the little sorrows. denial and discipline are practically synonyms. and you're not spoiled.
it's just - it's not always a rice cooker. sometimes it is a person or a job or a hug. sometimes it is asking for help. sometimes it is the summer and your college degree. sometimes it is looking down at scabbed knees and feeling a strange kind of falling, like you can't even recognize the girl you used to be. sometimes it is your handprint looking unsteady.
sometimes it is tuesday, and you didn't get fired, and you want to celebrate. but what is it you like, even? you search around your little heart and come up empty. you're so used to denying that all your desires draw a blank.
oh fuck. see, this is the perfect opportunity. if you had a mixer, you'd make a cake.
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it's all be gay do crime and eat the rich until the rich actually get eaten and then suddenly it's nooo don't be cruel human life is precious 🥺🥺 these are people who have never been in touch with human life and thus i am unable to view them as anything but a fascinating story and a major L in return. stupid games stupid prizes and so on
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Production houses: but if the writers stay on strike we can't guarantee the future safety of your favorite shows 🥺🥺😭😭
Viewers who 1, have already lost their favorite shows because they were cancelled in spite of good ratings and good reviews or 2, have stopped watching new content entirely until the entire series has aired and concluded as a result of so many good shows getting cancelled on cliffhangers and thus leaving said viewers unable to gain closure with those characters and with a hollow viewing experience, so they've begun a, watching older shows they know came to a planned conclusion or b, revisiting their old favorites and enjoying the nostalgia or c, reading new books or fanfic instead: YOU ALREADY CAN'T GUARANTEE THE FUTURE OF OUR SHOWS SO GET FUCKING WRECKED AND PAY WRITERS WHAT THEY DESERVE!
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Imagine purporting to be a journalist and saying there were no economic changes after 2007.
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Danny Fenton, a new receptionist at Wayne Enterprises:
Vicky Vale, knowing Danny Is Not Ready for her: So, where does Bruce Wayne leave for during his meetings? A new woman? Man? Trouble in the family?
Danny "Town Menace Phantom" Fenton, done with Genderbent Wes Weston: To fuck your mom.
Bruce's experienced receptionist that left for 6 seconds: okay, Danny no--
Danny, who knows something's up with the Wayne family: and your Dad, because we support the LGBTQIA community. Thank you and leave.
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DOES ANYONE ELSE SEE THAT SMILE?!!?
Gif by @stars-bean
It's at the very end. And it's just a split second. A hint.
But I swear it's there.
You all see it, too, right?
His eyes get a little twinkle, the corners of his mouth twitch up. He wants to spend the night before he realizes he shouldn't.
HE WANTS TO SPEND THE NIGHT.
(Someone help me, I'm unwell)
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