#pain that gets performed is still pain

[woundgallery]

Louise Bourgeois from Designing for the Free Fall by Christiane Meyer-Thoss

#louise bourgeois #text #pain #exorcism #self-loathing #literature #the subject of pain is the business i am in #the accusation of wound dwelling #pain that gets performed is still pain #pain is the ransom of formalism #polishing my masochism like a diamond

[notebooks-and-laptops]

People do not talk enough about how amazing Lae'zels voice acting is. Devora Wilde put her whole ass pussy into some of those lines but nobody pays attention and calls laezel one note and angry. But have you listened? Have you heard her voice shake as she cries "what good - this heart of stone - for it to be shattered?" Have you heard the conviction where she declares that Vlaketh has sinned against her? Have you listened to the fear in her voice, the slight tremble when she is talking of becoming a mindflayer and the way that she has utter awe in her tones when she experiences something that is truly spiritual to her? Like. It's such a subtle and great performance.

#bg3 #lae'zel #the other voice actors are also incredible #wylls voice actor creates the charming prince so easily #but still manages the tough moments #karlachs act 3 gortash dead speech and the pain in that??? #astarion gets all the praise anyway i dont gotta mention him #and gale and SHADOWHEART #god #such good performances in this game

[braintapes]

ooooughh h with the new New Crew episode it seems the Concierge is the MOST human-like out of any of the staff....his fantasy at the beginning...his ideal sanctuary being this fancy library (his lounge) with the perfect fire and the wine ....also thinking about how sensory-focused he is - how everything Needs to be Just So, how he hones in on details like taste and smell and appearance, and even the way he can 'read' the guests...

He has, I'd argue, the strangest way of Seeing of the Hotel out of any of the staff - not Nothing, like the Auditor, and not a bunch of meat and guts like the Bellhop, but the hazy starlight and cosmos etc etc. But then he has such heightened sense for the things they presumably do not. He has so much more earthly connection, but to what end? He'll never get to be there in the fancy library and taste the wine and feel the comforting yet not burning warmth of the fire, no matter how perfectly he can imagine it.

The temptations to be drawn into that more earthly, more human realm are there, if highly idealized (but then, who is the Concierge if not a man of standards so high they reach the cosmos itself?). But he sacrifices those wants and desires for the sake of proving himself, his loyalty and his duty to the Hotel...I wonder how long he can hold onto his refined composure for if that continues on?

#the hotel podcast #my first impressions reading the new crew transcript. still need to Listen #noticing an interesting trend w/ the new crew where theyre #on the whole much more satisfied and happy w/ what they do #where the old crew experience basically ONLY misery and pain and suffering etc #hop gets so GLEEFUL to watch the guests die. is so genuinely thrilled by watching them expire n her part in it #aud even with her whole. um. situation. still takes pleasure in the job she has. she seems quite happy to Be and perform her duties #and here we see the concierge as a character that deeply savors and relishes too in his own way #my train of thought is kinda going all over the place but yeah. i like this episode a lot

[xxvinwestley]

rip the mfs that hced izzy as a non-drinker

(its me im mfs)

#like. till ep 4 i was CLINGING to the idea that he was just drinking to numb the pain of his leg #was holding that thought like a LIFELINE #but rip #like. i have a history w drinking but thats not why i hced it #like i just. see him as the type to like not get intoxicated bc it would make him weak or not fully able to focus or perform #but im still like #now he isnt drinking again so maybe it was just An Exception bc he figured he couldnt do much anyway #this is how non-drinker izzy can still win #izzy hands #ofmd #ofmd spoilers #our flag means death

[captain-lovelace]

Having thought about it for a couple of days I think the disproportionate degree of uproar about egg jokes being invasive or whatever seems overwhelmingly like a case of people interpreting trans women in the worst possible way

#And I think for a number of transmascs I’ve seen similar reactions to my initial knee-jerk one #Which was along the lines of ‘this is yet another sign that if I fail to perform masculinity well enough I will be misgendered’ #And like. I GET why that’s scary and painful as a thought especially given the general background radiation of being transmasc #Dear lord do I get it. The idea that even if you pass if you exhibit one behavior wrong someone’s *still* going to misgender you sucks #But #The thing is. 1. That scenario where it’s you is entirely hypothetical. The joke is not being directed at any of us #2. The primary perpetuators of ‘if you do [x] you’re actually Fake Trans’ are not random trans women making egg jokes PLEASE #At some point you are reacting to something internal and you are using it as a bludgeon against trans women and the fact that this has #Been going on SO LONG over something that #Let’s be honest here #Is entirely inconsequential… #Well to call a spade a spade it’s transmisogynistic

[rapidhighway]

PRESIDENTIAL ALERT: period hurt very bad :(((((

#GYYYAAGHHAGAHHAAAAAA #i think performing field surgery and getting rid of my organs would hurt less actually #might do just that to a certain uterus #good god #so girlboss of me to take too much pain meds and my body is still too strong for them bc it keeps fighting those bitches off

[lynsstrange]

Color guard/winter guard people, what is the worst injury you’ve ever sustained from it?

#my team has had every single one of these happen #it’s rough out here #me personally #my worst would probably be dropping my rifle on my toe after tossing a five #for context that’s 3/4 of the way to a high school gym’s ceiling #I was convinced my toe was broken for a week I was in so much pain every time I walked #I’ve had crazy stories though. girl on my team broke the same finger twice #another one got a concussion and bled all over her uniform during champs. one girl split her eyebrow open during warm up #and STILL performed ten minutes later with fresh stitches #my coach broke her toe right before a performance when she was in high school and had to be carried off the field #and that’s not all of it either #I’m not joking when I say shit gets WILDD #winter guard #color guard #guard #colorguard #winterguard #marching band #flag line #weapon line #Sabre #rifle #flag #polls #injuries #color guard poll

[johnmccharmly]

and if I make it through

it's all because...

of you.

#crying in mclennon pain #got back tour #the fact we get to see him perform still in 2022 is a blessing wow #and with johnny #oh paulie we all miss him too :( #mclennon #john lennon #now and then #paul mccartney #the beatles #here today #mclennon feels #if you love someone tell them today please...

[woundgallery]

Gina Pane , Transfert, 1973

#gina pane #art #body art #pain that gets performed is still pain #milk #tongue #contact zone #touch #contemporary art #performance art #destruction theater

[dogbunni]

I was telling my mother about some interesting Symptoms™ I've been having and putting them all together like that. maybe I'm stressed because my body is falling apart. that might be a cause. like

#like oh my god. girl help im having symptoms even doctors dont know what to with #i told her about the last time i saw a dr for one particular health issue and he told me if i were older he'd investigate for cancer #but bc im young he isnt going to bother #and then just sent me on my way without much follow up like 'if it gets worse its probably fine and dont come back' #and she was very concerned #im still not sure how concerned i have to be about it #bc if it was a real medical problem then he wouldve said come back if it gets worse #but also im in pain and bleeding all of the time and as time goes on my body seems to be like getting worse at performing certain tasks #and developing more and worse symptoms #i should maybe get a second opinion on that one but im also right in the middle of testing for my high blood pressure #and also going back forth with gender clinic about surgery #and trying to manage my disabilities #and trying to care for my terminally ill cat #so like i dont have the TIME #or the energy #i DO wish my body could hold it together for like a minute #a breather would be good rn #dogbunni diary log #sorry again. have no one to vent to #i cant bother my parents too much about this bc they worry enough about me as it is and have enough stress in their lives

[astralartefact]

Fs in the chat (source) (and this is even SaitoP for once... which means it's pretty much over unless someone higher up forces them to do it)

#drakengard #nier #yoko taro #i have conflicted feelings about this... #i would love to see my girls and the dragon fucker in games with the quality they deserve #but while dod3 would be fine with a remaster that fixes the performance issues and made the game a little prettier #they would probably need to fully remake dod1 and i get why they wouldn't want to do that #bc if you remake dod1 from the ground up you would need to live up to nowadays standards #i'm sure that's going to be a fun endeavor... it's not like dod has problematic content of any kind #and if they ended up doing one of them they would also need to do the other #and then what about dod2? would they remake that? #and then it's 7 years later and you still can't do another nier game bc squeenix doesn't trust you with that big of a budget #so yeah as much as it pains me i agree just make a new game

[marley-manson]

taking everything in me not to screenshot your tag on hawkeye's defiance manifesting in his gender expression rather than sexuality and rb cuz i don't wanna do that on someone else's post but that's... one of my favourite things anyone has ever said about hawkeye <3

aaaaaa ty i'm glad that resonated! Idk I see a lot of surprise and confusion wrt the gay/feminine stuff with Hawkeye (among others but mostly him) but to me it makes perfect sense, essentially as the show's way of painting him as antagonistic to traditional/military masculinity, as well as freaking out the normies, and sometimes taking the piss out of the stereotypical wholesome 50s image. Which is why it's (for the most part at least) aged pretty well and lends itself so well to the bi and/or somewhere under the trans umbrella headcanons.

The point isn't 'hawkeye is bi/trans' but the joke also usually isn't 'haha gay people are funny,' or 'haha we're so close we could be gay but we're not but wouldn't that be funny? but we're not,' the joke is 'haha traditional rigid standards of masculinity suck, let's make fun of them.' So it's not writers trying to dodge censorship and get representation on screen or anything, it's not really written with us in mind, but it still like, often aligns with an lgbt perspective in a fun way?

at least imo, i'm no expert lol, this is just my impression from what I happen to have absorbed of 70s culture and media + the show's whole vibe, esp in the earlier seasons.

#i hope you don't mind me taking the opportunity to ramble more lol #and lmk your thoughts on hawkeye + gender/gender performance if you have some to share! #in universe or out of universe #mash #marley on mash #mash gen #also i'm formulating thoughts on margaret wrt this while i rewatch the first seasons too... i'm not sure where she fits #with her masculinity which is more often derided but not always #the homophobia towards frank is more straightforwardly painting him as hypocritical and laughable for worshipping #military masculinity - though still often pretty painful and much less fun to watch unforch lol #at least that's the impression i get #hawkeye mash #mash gs

[the-busy-ghost]

Something comforting to think about today- there are lots of people in the world who hate, loathe, and despise my favourite books

That doesn’t sound like it should be comforting because of course at heart I want everyone to love them as much as I do. And it does annoy me when people hate books based on what I sincerely believe to be a complete misinterpretation of them (cough-cough, the recent “Wuthering Heights is just a silly problematic romance novel” issue). But if I’m being honest I also hate it just as much when people LOVE my favourite books based on a complete misinterpretation of them and for all the wrong reasons (”XXX did nothing wrong!”- what book were you reading???). And in either situation it isn’t really my business, though I reserve the right to be irritated.

But lots of people have valid criticisms of these books. Others simply didn’t vibe with the book on a given day and maybe never will- they don’t owe me or anyone else a reason. And I may not agree with them, but I do like it when I can completely understand why some people don’t like these books. For example, I think “Middlemarch” is one of the greatest novels I’ve ever read but for other people, it’s just not for them! They simply enjoy a very different kind of book, or they were disappointed that it wasn’t all it was cracked up to be, or they couldn’t understand the characters, or it just wasn’t the right time for that book to come into their lives, or it was just too damn long for them.

And firstly I find that comforting because it shows that we’re all different souls. We all have different tastes and experiences, and that means that our favourite books actually MEAN something to us, rather than just being a Generic Important Book That Everyone Likes. And often the reasons why one book is my favourite, are very different to the reasons that they are someone else’s favourite- the best books are multi-faceted after all. It’s a wonderful testament to the diversity of human experience and creativity (because in my opinion, there’s a great deal of the reader’s own imaginative ability goes into engaging with a book). So all that is required is for people to be open-minded and assume that when someone says they love a book, they have their own reasons, and these might not even be the reasons you think. 

And secondly of course, is that if even the books that I think are the best thing to exist, a physical symbol of worldly greatness, aspiration embodied, don’t appeal to everyone- then the things I create in turn don’t need to either. If even the greatest authors have harsh critics who will simply NEVER like their work, why are we all worrying so much about the merest hint of rejection, in life as much as in art?

#I talk a good game of course rejection is still very painful for me #And note valid constructive criticism is a different thing from rejection but if people's books can survive completely dumbass rejection #Based on complete misreading of the situation I think I can survive someone not liking me #books #reading #booklr #Also constructive criticism of my favourite books is good because it means I get to go back think it over #Argue it through in my head; point out other passages of the book in defence of it #And STILL come out of it loving the book possibly even more because it's drawn my attention to things I didn't realise about it #And sometimes I can't answer them fully either and that's ok too #Sometimes I've had the same thought as a novel's detractors and they've drawn attention to it #For example I was wondering at the end of Wuthering Heights why Heathcliff bothered keeping Nellie around #Why didn't he just send her packing rather than continuing to employ her at Thrushcross Grange #And I have lots of ideas but none of them quite stick yet #One is that she's possibly an unreliable narrator so she may- against her better judgement- have helped him more than she likes to admit #Another is that he is labouring under the impression that he can control her and so keeps her around in case he needs to use her influence #A third is that he needs a witness- there's some element of performativity in his cruelty and SOMEONE needs to see him destroy things #But I also like the idea that the four of them are all siblings really #Nelly- though she has a mother and other family at home- spent much of her youth at Wuthering Heights #And describes herself as Hindley's foster sibling in the sense that her mother was his nurse (a powerful bond in the pre-modern era btw) #So really she's as much one of the Wuthering Heights Nest as the lot of them #Heathcliff doesn't have as much reason to despise her as Hindley nor does he have so much reason to love her as Cathy #But she's still a sibling of sorts and maybe Heathcliff- whether he recognises it or not- sense that she has a right to be there #He doesn't seem like someone who needs a family but then maybe he's not as in control of the Heights as he thinks he is #I really don't know yet I will have to reread it #But yeah I think Nelly is as much a part of that nest of trouble as the rest of them #I'm getting off topic though- but see what I mean about negative criticism being important and fascinating! #Ok so I keep finding my way back to Wuthering Heights a lot over the last few weeks but this applies to othe rbooks too #I had similar feelings about some of teh criticisms of Flemington #reading log

[eurovision-del]

The final night of Sanremo is happening tonight, and with it we’ll find out who will get first refusal to represent Italy at Eurovision! It’s always a bit of a rush ranking Sanremo songs with how quickly the week goes by, but here’s my feelings based on first impressions:

Rosa Chemical – Made in Italy

Sethu – Cause perse 

Madame – Il bene nel male 

Lazza – Cenere

Elodie — Due

Articolo 31 – Un bel viaggio 

Olly — Polvere

Gianluca Grignani — Quando ti manca il fiato

Ultimo — Alba

Colapesce DiMartino – Splash

Giorgia – Parole dette male 

Will – Stupido 

Colla Zio — Non mi va

Mara Sattei — Duemilaminuti

Marco Mengoni — Due vite

Modà – Lasciami 

Leo Gassmann — Terzo cuore

LDA – Se poi domani 

Shari – Egoista 

Cugini di Campagna — Lettera 22

Paola e Chiara – Furore 

Tananai – Tango

Ariete — Mare di guai

Coma_Cose — L’addio

Anna Oxa — Sali

Gianmaria — Mostro

Levante – Vivo 

Mr. Rain — Supereroi

I didn’t have time to follow the shows live, instead just watching the performances from night one and two the morning after the show. I enjoyed night one well enough, but found the night two songs much stronger, broadly speaking! All my top four came from there!

My absolute favourite entry this year is Made in Italy. I was hooked on this song just from the guy in the orchestra doing the announcer bit at the start, and it only got better from there! I love the unique sound it's got, the electro swing beat is very catchy and works unexpectedly well with the rap! It's got a chaotic energy to it, there's a lot going on, yet it never feels messy. Though I have to admit I nearly lost it when he started scatting! The song moves at such a pace and I enjoy every second of it, so it ends up feeling much shorter to me than it is! I could honestly listen to this on repeat. And I absolutely love his aesthetic, his outfit was so good.  

There’s not as much separating the rest of my top five. I really enjoyed Cause perse, it’s got that pop punk sound to it, very energetic, it gets me hyped up! I only wish it were longer! Next, I loved Madame’s song Voce in 2021, and still listen to it regularly, but I might honestly prefer Il bene nel male. The sound is exciting and a little tense, it draws me into it. I think the production is great, and Madame’s voice is fantastic, she really knows how to perform. Speaking of good production, Cenere is one of the best produced songs here. I especially love that isolated bass right before the chorus, and it helps that I also really like the sound of Lazza’s voice. My final stand out from this selection is Elodie with Due, I don’t think it’s as strong a song as her previous entry, Andromeda, but I still enjoyed it a lot, and Elodie is a fantastic artist.

I would love to see any of these five songs at Eurovision, but, as usual, Italy is pretty spoiled for choice! There’s plenty of other great songs further down my list which could serve them very well at the contest. I reckon they’ve definitely got the quality here to maintain their top 10 streak, and I'm excited to see what they send!

#eurovision #esc2023 #nf ranking #italy #actually not over Rosa Chemical #I looked him up on wikipedia briefly and apparently the second part of his name comes from My Chemical Romance? #it literally keeps getting better #just to be clear this ranking is based solely on night one and two performances #I haven't watched any of night three #I ended up watching Malta's semi final instead #it was actually a lot better than I was expecting #several songs I did not care for I enjoyed with proper staging #my overall feelings didn't change though I'm still hoping for The Busker #Today is going to be interesting #I'm going to see the rugby with Scotland playing Wales #very excited for it #but I don't know what time I'll be home since we're having tea out #my plan is to tune into Sanremo and catch up with whatever happened in the other shows while I wait for it to finish #I love my hobbies so much #but it pains me that 6 nations season and esc national final season have to overlap #I wish I had more time so I could just watch everything