Und sie sagen du bist unfreundlich und gemein, dabei schützt du dich nur, weil dir so viel angetan wurde, als du nett warst.
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The Hardest Goodbye.
It is when you have to leave the one you thought was it, the one you thought you'd marry, you'd grow old with, you'd have kids with.
Instead of that you're left with pain, silence, yourself and doubt.
Questioning if love is even real, and if it is, if you deserve to have it.
Revisiting every memory, every word, every situation overanalysing what was true and what was a lie, looking at it from across a glass window like a stranger.
No longer trusting anyone because the one you trusted with your life, fucking betrayed you.
You broke yourself loving them, and now you're too fucking empty, too fucked up to open up or love.
You need time for yourself. To reconnect with, to heal and to forgive yourself.
Because even though you think this is all your fault, it isn't your fault you fell for his games, gaslighting and manipulations and so stupidly trusted him.
Its not your fault you see the best in people and you have a caring heart.
All I ask is that you be careful.
-Bee (10/10/22)
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I love him
But every day I'm learning
All my life
I've only been pretending …
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Does anyone else ever feel like you shouldn’t complain about being in pain because you have pain a large portion of the time and should be used to it
But like also you recognise that that is a stupid thought process
But also you feel bad for complaining
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Oh to find someone who can handle your overthinking…
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me about my mother during my childhood: I would do anything for her, I won't let anyone insult her, I'll do her work because she's sick often and I want her to rest and get better! I'll give her gifts and let her know she's a good person :)
my mother about me during my childhood: I will throw this stupid useless child to the wolves and then criticize how ugly their crying is
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1. Susan Sontag—As Consciousness is Harnessed to Flesh: Journals and Notebooks, 1964-1980, 2. Phoebe Waller Bridge—Fleabag, 3. Richard Siken—Wishbone, 4. Anonymous, 5. Atonement dir. Joe Wright 6. Hot Priest Monologue—Phoebe Waller Bridge 7. Gillian Flynn—Dark Places 8. Meditation in an Emergency— Cameron Awkward-Rich , 9. Billie Eilish— idontwannabeyouanymore, 10. Stephen Adly Guirgis— The Last Days of Judas Iscariot, 11. Lioness Dewinter—Sìren Loa 12. Bernie Wrightson’s Illustration of Frankenstein’s Monster. 13. Bonnie Winterbottom—How To Get Away With Murder, 14. Sade Andria Zabala—Paper Napkin Stories, 15. Sor Juana Inés de la Cruz — Love Opened a Mortal Wound, 16. Unknown 17. Miley Cyrus — Never Be Me, 18 Kim Addonizio— Wild Nights; New Poems; Pareidolia, 19. Crazy/Beautiful dir. John Stockwell, 20. I.B. Vyache, Conversations Over Sanguinaccio Dolce.
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