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plutoccult · 7 months

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HAIKYUU X THE OFFICE AU — EPISODE ONE: JAPAN PULP AND PAPER, THIS IS Y/N

pairing: sugawara koushi x female reader

description: chaos ensues when the miyagi branch of japan pulp and paper allow a documentary crew to capture their day-to-day lives in the office.

word count: 3.3k

also available to read on my ao3 here

author’s note: another work from my ao3 that i really wanted to share! i posted this back in july, and i definitely intend to write more. i refuse to let this go without writing casino night. like, come on. it’s too good! for some context, you as the reader are essentially pam, while sugawara is jim, ukai is michael, the list goes on. some characters don’t really reflect any office counterparts, but that’s okay. you can imagine i’ll be going through the motions of that torturous jim and pam slow burn but with my own pizazz. also, text in bold and italics are the interviewing part, if that makes sense. hopefully it’s a smooth transition. anyway, i hope you enjoy!!!

“are we rolling?” ukai asks the camera crew and they nod in response. “alright, cool, cool, cool.”

he takes a deep breath before doing various ridiculous vocal and physical exercises, some you would take straight out of a children’s choir practice. he even got out of his chair and tried to squat before he realized he could rip his pants right at the beginning of the documentary. one could hope it wouldn’t make it to the final edit, but it probably will anyway.

“ahem.” he coughs. “i’m keishin ukai, regional manager. um, i’ve been working at japan pulp and paper for about twelve years now, but i’ve been the regional manager for the past few years.”

“let’s try taking a tour of the office floor.” a camera guy proposes since they were currently cramped in ukai’s office.

“oh, you want a change of scenery? yeah, i can do that. come on, let’s go.” ukai stands up and allows the camera crew to make their way out before he exited as well. there was much, much more room to film around, thank god.

“welcome to my humble abode, aka the office floor.” he began, then made his way to the reception desk where you sat. you kind of hoped you wouldn’t be filmed right off the bat, but here you were with a camera now in your face. “starting off here, we have our receptionist, y/n. say hi to the camera, y/n.”

“hello, camera.” you shyly wave, then try to hand ukai a piece of paper. “by the way, you have a fax.”

“unimportant.” he immediately brushes it off.

“it’s from corporate—“ you try to say, but he interrupts you.

“y/n over here notoriously once dated a guy named mad dog. seriously. that was his name.” ukai whispers to the camera, although you could hear him clear as day, same with the microphone one of the crew members held above you two.

“i thought we agreed to never talk about that again, ukai.” you groan.

“i’m not known to be a truther, y/n.” he shrugs. “anyway, that doesn’t matter anymore because she’s engaged now. well, she’s been engaged for three years. bummer.”

“i’m just going to shred this fax—“

“woah, woah, woah. let’s not do that!” ukai interrupts you, reaching out for the fax you threateningly held over the shredder. “come on, gimme the fax.”

you stare into the camera and hand the fax to ukai.

•••

“as you can tell, i don’t exactly love it here. i mean, it pays alright, but i don’t think anybody dreams of becoming a receptionist.” you say to the documentary crew, forcing a laugh as you’re being interviewed separately. “i wanted to be an actress. as you can tell, that’s not going so well since i still work here. at least there are a couple of good things that come from working here, i suppose.”

•••

“i have to go to the bathroom.” hinata and kageyama announce at the same time. the camera crew turns their attention from you and ukai to them instead. this could be good… maybe.

“i bet i can make it to the bathroom faster!” they yell, again, in unison and rush through the doors to race to the bathroom. unfortunately, it was a tie like always.

“don’t mind them, that’s just hinata and kageyama. always got this weird ass tension, those two.” ukai rolled his eyes. “welp, anyway.”

as ukai scanned the office to think of who else he could bother, ahem, introduce to the cameras, a certain gray-haired salesman quietly whispered to himself at his desk, hoping he wouldn’t be next. after seeing what you went through, he didn’t want to be the next victim. “no, no, no, no, no…”

unfortunately, he was next.

“ah, perfect.” ukai clapped his hands together. “suga! my favorite prematurely gray sales guy!”

“how many times do i have to say my hair is ash blonde?” the young salesman groaned, pouting towards the camera.

“whatever helps you sleep at night.”

suga grumbles at his boss, who blissfully ignores him. “ah, tanaka, assistant—“

“sir, ukai, sir!” tanaka gets up from his chair quicker than one could blink, standing up as straight as possible, almost as if he’d break his spine if he tried to stand any straighter, with his hand to his forehead like a soldier speaking to his captain.

“why are you saluting at me? this is a paper company, not the army.” ukai says in disgust.

“because it feels right...?” tanaka replies hesitantly, slowly slouching back to normal posture.

“ugh, get out of my face. you ruined your intro.” ukai scoffs as he walks away, leaving tanaka with a pout.

•••

later when tanaka speaks to the documentary crew, he breaks out into tears, almost a little too dramatically. “i try so hard to receive that man’s approval. and kiyoko’s love…”

the poor guy thinks he’ll get nominated for an emmy because of this.

•••

a tall man walks in with a man bun. one could even compare him to a samurai, you think. his presence startles everyone in the office upon his arrival, but you keep your cool. well, unlike someone else you know.

“oh, my god! please don’t murder me, i’m begging you!” yachi screams out at the top of her lungs as she runs out of the office in a flash.

the mysterious man stands confused over the blonde rushing out. he looks at you shyly, so you greet him nicely and decide in your head that today was not the day to use your pepper spray.

“hi, can i help you?”

“um.” he coughs. “i’m azumane asahi from the temp agency. i was sent down to start today.”

oh… that checks out.

“oh, yeah!” you say cheerily as you waive those previous thoughts away. “i’ll get you introduced to mr. ukai.”

you show asahi to ukai’s office, knocking on the door before you’re allowed in. “hey, ukai?”

“mhm?” he looks up from his computer.

“this is azumane asahi. he’s from the temp agency.” you inform him.

“nice to meet y—“ asahi begins to speak before his words are interrupted.

“my god, how old are you?” ukai stands up to inspect asahi’s face. you could sense the poor new temp screaming in his head for dear life, so you mouth to him to just roll with it.

“twenty-three…” he stumbles with his response.

“jesus! you look like you’re heading toward a midlife crisis!” ukai exclaims.

you gasp at your boss and pull him away from asahi whose face is as red as a tomato. “ukai! you can’t just say that to people right in their face! you’re such a meanie!”

•••

“you know, people say i’m very harsh, but i think i just simply state what i think, and i think a lot of crazy shit.” ukai laughs at the camera. the crew quite literally thinks he’s clinically insane. “unless hr says something to me, i’m not stopping this ol’ noggin of mine. just like how i refuse to quit smoking...”

•••

knock knock on ukai’s door once more. it’s takeda this time around, who’s the sole part of hr. ukai’s relationship with him isn’t a love-hate one as the love part of it is dead silent. takeda thinks it’s all in good fun, unfortunately.

“ukai, i think we need to have a discussion,” takeda speaks calmly.

ukai slams his hands on his desk and stands up. “specs, you ignorant slut. i’m going out to smoke a cigarette.”

the camera crew proceeds to follow ukai as he goes outside to smoke. he’s unaware that they’re right behind him, so when he looks around to see if anyone is watching him, his soul almost leaps out of his body when he sees a bunch of filming equipment surrounding him as he tries to light a cigarette.

he takes a couple of puffs before addressing the camera, waving around his cigarette as he spoke, which made the crew worry as they tried oh so carefully to protect their extremely expensive equipment.

“yeah, i smoke.” he rolls his eyes. “i’ve tried quitting plenty of times, but it’s like mcdonald’s. even when you say you don’t want anything, you still find yourself stealing somebody’s fries.”

ukai had to make note of how oddly deep that sounded.

after finishing his smoke, ukai headed back inside the office, only to be met with chaos thanks to tanaka and nishinoya annoying kiyoko, a particularly drop-dead gorgeous employee, like always.

“daichi! pry tanaka and nishinoya away from kiyoko! their flirting skills are pathetic and we don’t need any lawsuits around here!” ukai yelled out first thing, pointing his finger at daichi to stop the embarrassment that was his employees.

“on it…” he sighed as he grabbed the two men by the backs of their shirts and dragged them away despite their pleas.

•••

“that was flirting?” kiyoko laughs hysterically at the camera. the camera crew shrugs. unfortunately, their googly eyes and drooling mouths as they asked how her day has been was flirting.

•••

“look, me and tanaka have been trying to woo kiyoko for years. one of us has to succeed, right? and by one of us, i mean me.“ nishinoya says confidently and the crew can’t help but snicker at him based on what kiyoko said to them earlier. he gives them the death glare in response and they immediately stop.

•••

long after the chaos died down, tanaka opens his desk drawer and reveals a plate with his stapler inside jell-o. he’s ultimately taken by surprise, almost unable to form words as to why this has happened to him.

“what…?” he asks himself quietly.

suga, sitting at the desk across from him, tries his best to resist the urge to grin while he plays dumb. “what? what’s wrong?”

“my stapler… is in jell-o,” tanaka says, staring at the plate.

“jell-o? lemme see!” hinata perks up from his desk and runs over to see the phenomenon, just as entranced as tanaka is.

“woah, how did that happen, buddy?” suga continues his act, this time cracking a smile as he watched hinata crouch down and poke the jell-o.

“stop poking it, hinata.” kageyama scoffs, but hinata doesn’t waver one bit.

“i… don’t know,” tanaka replies. it was like his brain literally couldn’t wrap around the situation. how could this be? he didn’t know how to put two and two together. suga found it insanely hilarious, but when he looked over and saw your little snicker as you quickly covered your mouth, it made it a million times better for him.

“obviously, suga did it, you idiot.” tsukishima rolled his eyes as he looked over at everybody with his classic resting bitch face.

“tsukki!” yamaguchi scolded him. “don’t ruin it…”

•••

“i did not get this job to endure immature pranks, especially from someone whose hair went gray before their balls dropped,” tsukishima said in a monotone voice, staring down the camera like it would become his murder victim.

•••

“how do you feel about tsukishima?”

“i’m gonna put his glasses in jell-o next,” suga said to the camera with a smile, proud of his previous work.

•••

as the day progressed, you went into the break room to eat a mid-day snack, but when you opened the fridge, you found that it was gone. “oh, no…”

“y/n? what’s up?” suga asks as he walks in, noticing the look of disappointment on your face.

you shut the refrigerator door and cross your arms, scanning the faces of your fellow employees in the break room. tanaka and nishinoya were too busy eating the jell-o from earlier in hopes to access the stapler, so you assumed it wasn’t them, but then again, you had your doubts. yamaguchi silently sipped his coffee and avoided your gaze, but you found him to be typically shy anyway, so you crossed him off.

“who ate my yogurt? come on, that was my favorite yogurt. who did it?” you ask aloud.

silence.

“meanies.” you roll your eyes and walk toward tanaka and nishinoya. “gimme a bite of that stupid jell-o.”

“mine!” they yell in unison, protecting the gelatin treat as if it were gold.

“ugh.” you huff, accepting defeat and walking out of the break room. no snack for you.

•••

“what’s y/n‘s favorite yogurt?” suga repeats the camera crew’s question, laughing nervously as a result. “why would you think i know that? i mean, it’s mixed berry, but still…”

•••

“suga said mixed berry? heh, he’s definitely onto me…” you smile at the thought of your favorite coworker knowing you so well, but then that very thought leads you to the worst possible conclusion. “hey, wait! i bet that dummy ate my yogurt!”

“we can confirm it was yamaguchi.” a crew member says to you, quickly debunking your theory, which you found to be shocking.

“what? really?” you gasp.

“we found him crying in the bathroom after you discovered somebody ate it.” they reply.

“oh.”

•••

when the work day was finally over, you start to collect your things, logging off your computer for the day and making sure you have everything before you leave. you look up and see a familiar face waiting behind your desk with his warm smile that never grew old.

“hey,” suga said, coat draped over his shoulder as he held his briefcase in his hand.

“hi.” you reply, voice shaky. he gave you butterflies for some reason…

“you walking out?” he asks. sometimes you stayed a little later than usual if there were extra things to do around the office, and suga hated to leave you hanging there. he hated sitting at the bus stop alone even more since it meant you weren’t there with him.

“yeah, lemme just get my coat.” you say softly as you grab your purse from under your desk then get your coat from the coat rack. suga waits right behind you, his shadow right in your vision.

“um, wanna stop by the convenience store on the way to the bus stop?” he adds on. it was typical of you two to grab an after-work snack, usually something indulgent like candy and a soda. suga has tried so hard to figure out what your favorite sweets were, but you were always switching it up in times you get something, so it was impossible to solve the puzzle.

“oh, yeah, sure.” you nod with a smile. “let’s go.”

you two walk out of the office building, beginning your short walk to the store and then the bus stop. it was one of the only times of the day you could share a moment with suga like this without any craziness going on from your coworkers. you liked talking to him just as much as he liked talking to you. sometimes you thought he was only your friend out of convenience and proximity, you were his coworker, after all, but it didn’t dawn on you how much you meant to him.

“so tell me.” you start the walk home conversation. suga perks up and looks over to you in anticipation of what you’re about to say, itching to hear more of your voice. “you put tanaka’s stapler in that jell-o, didn’t you?”

“what?” he laughs in your face, putting on a little act that you never failed to crack a laugh at. “what makes you assume such a thing? i’m offended, y/n. truly, honestly offended.”

“well, sorry!” you huff, also pretending.

“i mean… i totally did that to his stapler.” suga admits, and the two of you bust out into laughter. it was always easy to feel like a kid again when it came to suga. you didn’t grow up with him, but the two of you clicked on your first day like it was the first day of kindergarten.

as you arrived at the convenience store, you insisted to suga that you would wait outside while he got something. he pestered, asking if you were sure you didn’t want anything, but you said no and told him to not waste his money on you.

suga hated that you saw yourself as a waste. he knew what—or should he say who—made you feel that way, and he would be damned if you ever felt that way with him. suga knew who the real problem was, and it wasn’t you. it never was.

when suga came back outside, he had two bags. one was definitely for him, but the other one turned out to be a little surprise. “i know you said not to waste my money on you, but—“

“what, what did you do?” you questioned as if he did something bad.

“i figured you deserved this after what happened earlier.” he grinned, handing you one of the bags in his hands. when you opened it, it was your favorite, mixed berry yogurt. it was even the good kind mixed with vanilla. you couldn’t believe he’d remember such details.

“oh my god, suga, thank you.” you quickly hug him. suga’s heart felt like it was going to leap out of his chest while you moved on from the close touch so quickly like it was second nature. “how much was it? i’ll pay you back—“

“no, no. it’s on me.” he interrupted. he wanted to say more, say that anything spent on you was never a waste, but that would be going too far, wouldn’t it?

“really?” you ask with puppy dog eyes. suga nods. “thank you.”

the two of you share a long pause in each other’s eyes. suga’s pupils dilate, and so do yours, but it was too dark to notice. it was like you were both in an unwavering trance, but it couldn’t last forever as the sound of your phone ringing startles you both.

“shit, i gotta take this.” you say, walking a few steps away from suga before answering the call.

“oh, yeah, go ahead.” he looks down, giving you space.

“ryo?” great, it was your fiancé, and he was pissed again. he was so sweet in the beginning, but now you were stuck. at least, you felt stuck.

“what are you talking about?! you never said anything about picking me up after work today!” you yell into the phone.

suga tries not to overhear the conversation, but from the sound of your voice, he assumed your asshole fiancé was being rude towards you again. god, he couldn’t stand it. he almost wanted to grab your phone out of your hands and tell ryo off himself, but suga had to remember his place as just your friendly coworker and nothing more.

“fine, just… drive over to the bus stop. yeah. okay. alright. bye.” you sigh as you hang up, walking back to suga like nothing happened. you always brushed off these things, and you didn’t know how to stop them. “sorry about that. let’s just… go, shall we?”

“yeah,” suga says awkwardly and continues the walk, doing the same as you; acting like nothing happened. you had that in common.

the two of you sit at the bus stop in awkward silence, your bags from the convenience store acting as a barrier between you. you wanted to tell suga what happened on the phone with your fiancé, but it was easy for him to get the gist when he saw ryo skirt down the road like it was fast and furious.

“y/n! get in the car! i don’t got all night!” he yells from the driver's seat. you quickly yell back that you’re “coming!” and run to the other side of the door, ultimately forgetting the yogurt suga bought you. ryo gives you no time to put on your seatbelt and immediately drives away, leaving suga waiting for his bus alone.

suga looks over at his surroundings, finding that the documentary crew had been recording the entire walk here. he knew that was part of the deal, he and the rest of the office signed a contract after all, but he didn’t imagine embarrassing himself in the pilot episode like this.

“you guys recorded all that, didn’t you…?”

the film crew nods awkwardly.

“damn.”