Alex Trebek died and I can officially say that in a single week of November, way too much news and chaotic stuff has happened. All jokes asside, I'm glad he brought up awareness for early screening for Pancreatic cancer and brought so much joy to people in his life.
pairing: severus snape x fem!reader (platonic), the golden trio x fem!reader (platonic), draco malfoy x fem!reader (platonic)
request: I’ve got a weird request, feel free to turn it down of you want. How about something kinda fluffy where Severus reacts to finding out one of his favorite students won’t be returning for their 5th year because they were diagnosed with cancer and he goes to visit them in the hospital or something. (When I was a younger bean I hoped that one of my teachers would care enough to do that after I was diagnosed myself, they never did but it was a nice dream to have!) love you blog, you’re the best!
prompt: during the summer of your 4th year at being a student of Hogwarts, you and your family begin to notice you are not feeling well. When you go to a checkup followed by a couple scans, you’re informed that you have Pancreatic cancer. You are then bombarded with the fact that because the cancer was found so late, you aren’t eligable for the 5-year survivalship. Given only a couple months to live, you send your situtation to Dumbledore who tries to keep it secret. However, when your friends start crying in the middle of Snape’s class, he starts to get suspicious and very rudely asks what’s wrong. They tell him what they know about your situation and he asks everything he can about you. Then, heading to the Headmaster, he gets a couple days off to visit you.
warnings: cancer, mention of death, crying, pain, bad news, really sad ending jk i changed it, part 2 coming soon
note: writing this made me realize how precious life is, not gonna lie. the requester and so many others who have gone through cancer or someone who went through/is going through it, i am so sorry. I’ve known a couple friends who went through it and. . .it’s so rough. so my prayers go to everyone suffering. it only goes up from here.
You had an idea that something wasn’t right when you started vomiting almost every day, even without eating that day. You expected you’d lose weight and hoped to get over your sickness sometime soon, but you had lost 25 pounds already. Your mother had also noticed your increase of weakness throughout the first couple weeks of summer.
Hogwarts had been your happy place ever since you took a step into the castle. You loved everyone and everything there, a smile never leaving your face. After being placed in Y/H, you knew that Hogwarts was just for you.
The teachers were always a joy, however others would disagree for one person; Professor Severus Snape. He was the Head of Slytherin House, seemingly so. The man never seemed to smile, always dressed in black and a scowl planted permanently on his face. But when he saw your potential, he let a couple grins slide here and there.
Snape tried to convince himself he liked you because of your expertise in potions. But he always enjoyed your bubbly personality, your eagerness to learn and your soft nature. You had become his favorite student of all time and he did care for you as family. Better than his dad, of course.
As your 4th year had ended, Snape had made sure to send his regards to you and your family. He had known family and just life itself held such a special place in your big heart, you never being afraid to tell him about your life. Snape smiled fondly at a thought of you, looking forward to the upcoming year.
You, however, seemed to be in a different position. Your parents had become increasingly concerned at your fatigue and loss of appetite, and your skin had started to turn a shade of yellow. What made you worry was the fact your mother mentioned you never were a jaundice baby.
Heading into the ER, the nurses treated you like any checkup would, except in a hospital. You could almost see the ideas of what was happening to you running through their heads while they poked you with needles and took some scans. Taking you and your parents to a secluded room, time seemed to slow down as you looked at your tinted skin.
Your father’s leg shook up and down, him nervously looking around the room. He stayed that way or until you started vomiting again, in which he would sit next to you, holding your hair as your mother patted your back. It all seemed helpless until the doctor walked in.
Your father looked up at the older man who held many scans and papers, “well?” Taking in a deep breath after vomiting, you looked up at the doctor. Tracing your eyes over the scans under the paper, you saw a large mass. That couldn’t be good.
The doctor closed the door behind him, “Mr and Mrs. Y/L/N, take a seat, please. Y/N. . .”
With that, your parents held hands as your mother grasped yours, “go on, then. What’s happening to our daughter(or son)?”
Words came out, but only a few made sense, “Y/N. . .vomiting and jaundice. . .the scans show. . .we can conclude. . .Pancreatic Cancer. . .spread to other organs. . .tissues. . .not in the 5 year survival rate. . .months to live. . .sorry.”
Cries came from your mother as her grip on both your dad’s and your hand’s tightened. Your father had only cried a few times in his life; this being part of that very short list. Glancing to the doctor, your tired and yellow eyes met his, “I only have months to live?”
The doctor’s nod was enough for you.
Driving home was almost out of a dream. Your mother had sat in the back, giving you comfort as you continued vomiting. She had called close family, her voice cracking as she explained what was happening. A package of pills were in her hand as they shook and a list of days as well of weeks were marked. Systematic therapy and radiation therapy seemed to be the only thing to help you.
As you wobbled inside with the help of your dad, you collapsed on your couch. Your voice soft yet scratchy, you looked up at your dad, “c-can I write Professor. . .Dumbledore to let him know. . .that I can’t attend?”
Your dad gave you a soft smile and held his daughter’s hand, “of course. I’ll go get some parchment and a quill.”
Sitting there in silence, you let your ordeal set in. You wouldn’t live very long, a few months at most. You decided to take advantage of that, asking your dad for a couple more parchments. You wrote to your couple friends first; Hermione Granger, Harry Potter, Draco Malfoy, and Ron Weasley. You chuckled at the fact you considered Draco a friend.
You then got to your Headmaster’s letter. Not even writing, you let your tears flow, realizing you’d never see anyone ever again. Not Dumbledore, not McGonagall, not Snape. Severus Snape.Your favorite teacher who adored you and your family would never get to see you graduate top of his class.
You wiped your tears away from your cheeks, trying to calm down. You could tell that your parents were crying from the weeps from upstairs. Looking down at the parchment, you started the letter;
Dear Headmaster Dumbledore,
I will not be able to attend my fifth(5th) year at Hogwarts for I have been diagnosed with Pancreatic cancer. The doctors have discovered it far too late to do any surgery without taking out my stomach, and I only have months to live. I probably won’t be able to graduate from Hogwarts at all, but I’d like to inform you on why. Because this may be my last letter of living, I’d like to thank you for all you’ve taught me, along with all my other teachers. You have given me the best knowledge and advice anyone could ever ask for, and I admire that. I wish I could live more because I have so much to learn. Do not mourn for I have lived a wonderful life, yet keep my soul alive at Hogwarts! Also, do keep an eye on my parents; they are falling apart yet I still worry about school. Send my regards to every single student at my home and you can share this with whomever you wish. Thank you for the lessons.
Finishing the letter, you sealed it up and sent it with your owl to Dumbledore. While it was August, the school year was approaching and you could almost sense the old man looking forward to the sorting ceremony. You relaxed for a short bit until you had to vomit again, chills being sent through your body as your lower abdomen struck pain.
The school year had now started and while you would have loved to be at Hogwarts, you were stuck at the hospital getting radiation therapy. Dumbledore had sent an owl back, sending his condolences and decided to only tell Minerva and Hagrid. He knew how much you meant to Snape and figured he would find out with his concern.
That seemed to happen quicker than expected. Snape had known something was wrong when Draco stared at the letter in his hands and rubbed his face with grief. His hair had gotten ruffled and he set the letter down, eyes reverting back to it to read it over, wondering if it was real. The potions professor took it as any other letter from Lucius Malfoy.
Looking around from the higher table after the sorting ceremony, he never saw you. However, he did see Harry, Hermione, and Ron have the same letter in their hands. It also looked eerily similar to Malfoy’s. He held a breath as the trio looked to Malfoy, and their eyes met. Draco got up and made his way over to the trio’s table, all four of them looking stressed. Hermione put her hands over her face and her shoulders shook, Ron rubbing her back softly as he looked distressd.
Glancing towards Dumbledore, he saw the Headmaster was already looking at him. As soon as they made eye contact, Snape made his decision; he walked over to the table where Harry and the others sat.
“Rough first day already,” Snape said, getting the four’s attention. Hermione looked up at her professor with red eyes, “please. . .professor, please leave.”
Snape’s eyebrows furrowed with confusion and a sense of disgust, “you cannot demand such a thing. Now, why are you all weeping over here like a cluster of children?”
Harry’s eyes glared as he shoved a letter in Snape’s chest, “take a look you. . .you heartless, rude pig.”
Draco’s head leaned against his hand while he pushed his food away. Standing up, he turned to the group, “I’m leaving.”
Snape read the letter, seeing as it was addressed to Harry. Glancing through, he made notes that a friend would not be making it to Hogwarts due to cancer and they thanked Harry for all their shared memories. Continuing on, Snape raised an eyebrow towards the end as they thanked Harry and the others for their wonderful years and they hoped to see the trio one day. Snape was about to give it back until he saw who signed it, “Y/N?”
Harry glanced up at his professor, “yes, Y/N has pancreatic cancer and they only have. . .they only have months to live. We’re going to ask Dumbledore if we can-” With that, Snape swung his cape and walked out of the hall to his quarters. His breath quickened as he thought about his student, his Y/N, and how they could be suffering.
As dinner ended, Snape didn’t hesitate to rush towards Dumbledore’s office. Knocking but then letting himself in, Dumbledore seemed to already be waiting. “Albus,” Snape started, “I. . .I need a couple days. . .Y/N, they. .they’re dying and I need to be there. Please.”
Dumbledore handed him the letter and nodded, “go ahead. Take it. The time you need will be resourceful to you, Severus.”
That was all he needed for him to start packing, noting that he would be in the muggle world for You-Know-Who knows how long. Apparating in an alley in a town somewhat close to yours, he looked around and saw people minding their own business.
Counting on memory, he hoped he was going to the right place. With every conversation with you running through his head at a thousand miles a minute, he remembered you saying how a hospital was nearby where you lived. Asking around with suitcase in hand, Snape finally found St. Michael’s hospital.
Heading inside, his hands shook as his eyes blurred. Snape couldn’t imagine you this sick, life on the verge of death. Going up to the front desk, he cleared his throat as the nurse asked for the name of the patient. Snape’s hand went into a fist, his nails digging into the skin, “Y/N L/N.”
The nurse looked up, “pancreatic cancer. Are you family?”
While he hated lying, Snape would lie for you, “yes. . .uh, uncle.”
Nodding, the nurse gave him a pass to the hospital, “third floor, room 312. She/He’s getting over their radiation therapy for today so they may be groggy. Also, hair loss and yellow skin is normal for their cancer, so don’t be alarmed.”
After the nurse explained which room and floor, Snape made his way through the halls of the hospital until he saw an elevator. Walking inside and pressing the third floor, he saw the doors close. Along with that, he closed his eyes and tried to prepare himself for your state.
As the elevator door opened, he was met with the smell of cleansing alcohol. Remembering the room number, Snape shut his eyes as the sight of “312.″ Knocking on the door, he heard a soft “come in” through the barrier. Opening the door, Snape’s eyes watered at your shape.
Your hair had been replaced with a grey beanie, only a few strands being shown through it. Your skin was a light yellow and an IV kept you hooked up to a liquid which he didn’t know. Walking towards you, Snape made himself know, “Y/N. . .Miss L/N?”
You let out a light chuckle, “only one man calls me. . .calls me Miss L/N. . .hello, professor Snape.”
Shuffling towards your bed, he pulled up a chair and sat next to it. “How are you,” Snape asked, a hand softly resting atop of yours.
Opening your eyes, Snape’s brown eyes met your yellow ones, “however a person with pancreatic. . .cancer is. But in all honesty, tired.”
Snape’s thumb softly rubbed the top of your hand, “I bet. Harry and your. . .friends told me. I’m. . .god, Y/N, I’m sorry.”
Rolling your eyes, you let out what seemed to me a scoff, “no apologies, Professor. It is what it is. . .bummed I can’t be your. . .star student this year.”
Snape let the side of his mouth up, “me too. How is your family?”
You looked to your professor, “how do you think? They can’t accept I’m going to be. . .going to be dead in a-”
Snape glared, “stop! You’re not going to die, okay? This. . this cancer can go eat some ass, but not yours. You’re going to live, damnit.”
Your eyes closed softly, “whatever you say, Professor. . .I’m fine, I promise. . .Are you?”
Snape pulled your hand to his cheek, “of course not. My star student is in a damned hospital instead of sitting front row in my class.”
You let out a laugh, followed by a cough which followed vomiting. You pointed to a washcloth and Sanpe grabbed it, dabbing across your mouth. Scooching over, you very lightly put your hand next to your body. Snape chuckled, “childish as ever, still needing a cuddle.”
Sitting up on your bed, Snape moved your arm across your stomach as your head leaned against his shoulder. He moved his arm around your head, yet still leaving room for your head to rest against the pillow. “You’ll be okay, Y/N,” Snape whispered as you finally let the tears flow, feeling relief flood through your body.
Your sobs racked softly throughout the hospital bed and Snape leaned forward, his lips resting against your head. “I’ll be here for you while I still can, which will even be after you graduate Hogwarts,” he whispered, making you sob even harder. All you wanted was to live your life, not live it in a hospital.
“What did I do to deserve you. . .you being here for me,” you said, wet tears trailing down your face. Snape looked at you and let out a soft laugh, seeing snot run down from your nose. Grabbing a tissue from behind him, he wiped your nose as you laughed as well. Snape then crumbled it up, “you being my darling pupil, is all.”
ending note: i did as much research as i could on pancreatic cancer, but i am no doctor so if u think ur sick, pls see a real physician. this is just a fanfic. cancer.net truly helped me a lot w/ this so i hope u enjoyed
Pancreatic cancer has a very low survival rate, with just nine percent of patients surviving past five years. A major contributor to this rate is the fact that once those with pancreatic cancer start to show symptoms, the disease is usually already quite advanced. But researchers at the University of Washington have come up with a simple and incredibly accurate way to test for the cancer that people can administer themselves.
Warnings: Mentions of past cheating but not on Steve.
A/N: I’m not super happy with this chapter, but there is some background information on Reader, Steve, and Bucky. It’s things you’ll need to know in the future, so just don’t forget it. Enjoy!
**TAGS FOR THIS SERIES ARE CLOSED**
It has taken three months, but you finally had a positive pregnancy test. Steve and you were so excited and happy, you were finally getting the family you wanted, and you owed all of it to Steve’s best friend, Bucky. You’d always be grateful to him for doing this for the both of you and you’d never let an opportunity pass that you didn’t show it.
Bucky went into this with an open mind but was still conflicted as hell. Steve was his best friend, and that would never change. But what Steve didn’t know and something the two of you had sworn to secrecy, was the reason Bucky couldn’t help feeling like he was committing an even bigger sin than the first. He was utterly…endlessly, in love with you.
You knew but made him promise never to speak of it. Bucky and you had been sneaking around behind your roommates back, sleeping with each other and dating back in college. He wanted to break up with her, but you knew she was in love with him, so you told him no, but never stopped seeing him. When Steve came home for his mom’s funeral, Bucky introduced the two of you and you instantly fell for the blond.
Even though Bucky was in love with you, he wasn’t blind, and saw just how quickly Steve and you fell for each other, so he backed off and continued his relationship with your friend. It wasn’t until after Steve left, he confessed his love for you and you told him you couldn’t betray Steve, and the feelings aren't reciprocated. The two of you agreed to never speak of it again and moved on with your lives.
The only thing was...Bucky never got over you, and to this day, watched you live a life with Steve for the past fifteen years. His heart is slowly breaking again knowing what the outcome would be in the end and you’d get your happy ending while he still sat on the sidelines, wishing for his chance.
When Bucky admitted he was in love with you, you lied and told him you didn’t feel the same way. The truth was, you did, but your roommate was his true girlfriend and was head over heels for Bucky. You didn’t want him to break her heart, so you let him go.
In all honesty, asking Bucky to do this was gut wrenching. You knew he still harbored feelings for you, and to be honest, you did love Bucky, but you loved Steve more. That wouldn’t change anytime soon, no matter the outcome of Steve’s cancer.
So, when Steve came along and the two of you were introduced, you both noticed there was something immediate between you. It hurt to lie to Bucky, but you really wanted to give Steve a chance, and it turned out to be the best thing you ever could’ve asked for. You don’t regret anything that’s happened so far, you’ve had the best life, even with the constant plague of bad luck.
“Should we call Bucky?” Steve was smiling down at the positive pregnancy test.
You nodded excitedly at your husband, “This wouldn’t be happening if it wasn’t for him, so yeah...let’s call him, no! Have him come over!”
“Good idea…,” Steve perks his head up, “let’s have a sit down so we can see his expression!”
The two of you are over the moon about finally being pregnant and want the first person you share this with to be the one that helped make this possible, but as Steve stepped away to call him, you couldn’t help feeling like maybe this was all wrong. There was no backing out now, but you suddenly thought maybe asking Bucky to donate wasn’t the right thing to do.
You loved Steve with all your heart, but you also knew you still held something for Bucky. You had buried everything deep, and up until now, your feelings had stayed hidden and not come to the surface. However, not that you were pregnant and knew it was biologically Bucky’s, those feelings came front and center again. No matter what, you could never let your husband or Bucky know about the war raging inside you.
“You okay?” Steve puts his hand on your shoulders bringing you back from somewhere far away.
“Huh? Oh, yeah...did you say something?” You played it off hoping he wouldn’t ask questions.
“Yeah, Bucky’s on his way. He’ll be here in about a half an hour,” Steve looks at you skeptically. “You sure everything’s okay? Before you looked like you were a million miles away,” his brows furrowed in concern.
You give him a soft smile and nod, “I was just thinking about the future, that’s all,” you flat out lied to him.
“We’re gonna be fine,” Steve wraps his arms around you and hugs you tight, “and we’re finally going to be parents…. we’re about to have a family.”
You step back and smile at him brightly, like he just hung the moon, “We are...and I couldn’t be happier,” you lean in and softly kiss his lips.
“So, this is really happening?” Bucky looks between both you and Steve anxiously. He’d arrived about ten minutes ago and the two of you excitedly broke the news to him.
“It is...and we wanted you to be the first to know since you’re the reason for this,” Steve smiles, happiness written all over his face.
Bucky inhaled a breath and blew it out slowly. He looked into his best friends’ eyes and gave him a soft smile, “I’m happy for you Steve,” he does his best to appear overjoyed for the man, “for both of you,” he throws his smile in your direction.
“This wouldn’t be possible if it wasn’t for you, so thank you,” Steve’s eyes tear up and he looks as if he’s going to cry.
“Come on, man…,” Bucky shoves him gently on the shoulder, “don’t cry on me...cause if you cry, I’ll cry and I’m too good looking to cry,” Bucky jokes, making Steve laugh.
It’s a private moment with the two best friends and one you don’t intend to intrude on. With Steve’s cancer and treatment hanging over you, every moment with him is precious and he deserves to relish in every second of it.
“I’m really happy for you, Steve. “I only want the best for your family,” Bucky says trying to stay positive for his friend.
Steve wipes his face free from tears with his bare arm, “Thanks, Buck...but can I ask something of you?” He looks into his friends’ eyes with fondness and adoration.
Bucky chuckled and rolls his eyes, “What’s one more thing,” he happily joked with Steve.
“I know you already mentioned it, but…,” Steve pauses and looks back at you for approval and you smile and nod back at your husband, “could you help us along this journey...be a second father to our child and be there every step of the way.”
Bucky’s breath hitched, and he swallowed hard as he tried to process Steve’s words and his own feelings. He nervously rubs at the back of his neck, and bites at his bottom lip. He wants this, he really does, but he can’t deny the love he has for his best friend’s wife. Could he possibly leave his feelings at the door and help them through this without getting even more heartbroken while doing so? Jesus, why was life so cruel and what did he do to deserve this?
“Are you...sure?” He asks hesitantly, needing confirmation before he commits himself to the emptiness he’s certain he’ll feel.
“Yes...there’s no one else I’d rather share this experience with than you, and I trust you’d take care of my wife and child the same as I would.”
Even though he didn’t say it outright, you knew the meaning behind his words. ‘If the cancer takes my life’ the unspoken words hanging heavy in the air, making tears fall from your eyes. Bucky’s eyes dart over to you and he’s also began to cry again, knowing the hidden meaning behind Steve’s ask.
The silence hangs in your living room for longer than you liked, and finally, Bucky opened his mouth to break it.
“I’d be honored to share this with you, both of you,” his voice breaking from all the emotions inside.
Steve moves from his spot and wraps his best friend up in a tight hug, something he’s been doing a lot of lately. “Thank you, Buck…,” his own voice just as broken as the man he’s still holding in his vice grip, “I promise, you won’t be disappointed.”
By now, I’m sure you’re tired of seeing these posts about raising money for Oscar Isaac’s birthday. However, the cause is too important. The Pancreatic Cancer Action Network wants to double survival rates by 2020, and we can join the fight!
We have such a long way to go, and we’re running out of time.
March 8th is the deadline to get your messages in. Please see this post for more information.
Tumblr fans have been kicking some major butt with this campaign, and we greatly appreciate it. We’ve seen the success of other campaigns like this one, and are hopeful we can reach our goal too.
Do you know Oscar Isaac fans on twitter or facebook? Tell them about this campaign, and see if they will contribute, too. Don’t let any trolls tell you that you shouldn’t donate to a great cause to honor an actor. He’s not just an actor.
Did Llewyn Davis reawaken your love for music or instruments?
Did Abel Morales make you respect yourself a little more?
Has Oscar been the representation you’ve longed for on the big screen?
Did Poe Dameron totally taken over your life like he has ours?
If any of Oscar’s appearances, both onscreen and off, have ever meant anything to you, then you belong in this campaign. You deserve to have your message read by Oscar.
This is us, as fans of Oscar Isaac, coming together to raise money and awareness for a great cause while showing Oscar our appreciation.
$1, $5, $10, $100...whatever you can give. There is no judgment, and you can even put the donation as anonymous, then send your message to Oscar with your name. Messages should be submitted to firstname.lastname@example.org with proof of donation.
By the way, the messages to Oscar have been truly heartfelt and wonderful.
We hope that when he reads the amazing birthday notes from all of you, that he feels all the love and appreciation we have for him. We hope it makes this birthday a little more special.
If you run into trouble donating online, you can call 877-272-6226 and they will assist you over the phone. International donations are gratefully accepted. The link to donate online is in the source of this post.
We can make a difference, we just have to try.
Thank you so much for your inspiring stories, your generous donations, and the overall feeling that this fandom really is something special.
I’m so grateful and overwhelmed for the opportunity to present my research at the Pancreatic Society conference, and even more so when I found out I won the prize for best presentation!
I honestly didn’t expect this at all, as this was the first conference I’ve been to and I was the only medical student presenting, up against reg’s and consultants. But this shows what you can do with dedication and hard work - it always pays off in the end. I’m so happy that I’ve found my path in medicine now, and really enjoy what I’m doing!
A/N: Hey, guys! Only a few chapters left and still has still yet to get his ass handed to him. Poor guy, just can’t catch a break. Let’s see what happens between the reader and Steve. Let me know what you think. Enjoy!
**TAGS FOR THIS SERIES ARE CLOSED**
You continue to stare at your husband long after Bucky had left the room. You could tell Steve felt the weight of your eyes on him and let his own wander around the room, taking everything in. Every time he glanced back at you, your intense stare made him want to crawl into himself and hide, but he couldn’t. This was his doing and he’d have to see it through, consequences be damned.
“Hi,” he said softly, finally breaking the ice.
You scoff at him and shake your head, your stare finally broken. “That’s how you want to start this, hi?” You laugh dryly. “Hi, Steve...how’s your day?” The sarcasm was apparent in your tone.
Steve looks down at his legs, knowing this is what he deserves. He should have been honest from the beginning instead of trying to protect you from his worsening condition. It’s a mistake he’s not sure he’ll ever be able to make up for, but he’s gonna try. It’s all he can really do.
“I’m sorry…” it’s soft and can barely be heard, but he’s barely holding it together.
“Why, Steve? Why?” You start out with the hard question “I’m your wife. I’ve been with you for so long, through so much. From war, to your original diagnosis, to nonexistent sperm! I’ve been through it all! So why did you decide to hide this from me? Me of all people, thinking I’d never find out?!” Your face was red and your lungs winded from the length of your rant.
Your words stung and caused tears to well up in his eyes, “Because I’m an idiot,” he admits and looks up at you, eyes meeting each other. “I’m an idiot and only wanted to keep you and the baby stress free.” The tears are coming down quickly and he wipes them away with the sleeve of the hospital gown he’s wearing.
“I should’ve been told, Steve!” You raise your voice a little, and your son stirs. “What would’ve happened if you’d have died? How stress free would I have been then?”
Steve nods slowly accepting the truth in your words. “I know, and I was wrong to keep it from you and I’m so sorry, but how was learning I’m dying going to keep you calm during your pregnancy, huh?”
You stared blankly at your husband like he was totally clueless, which in fact he was. Sometimes his need to protect his loved ones led him to make stupid decisions. Jesus, why was he so damn selfless?
“Steve...when we got married we made vows to each other. For richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, for as long as we both shall live,” you remind him of the exchange. “Marriage isn’t about one person, it’s about two people working together, doing our best to keep each other happy, even in the bad times. I’ve stood by you through everything, no questions asked, all in the name of love. And when you got your end time frame, you left me out, kept it from me like it was a dirty secret. It’s like you took away my choice in how much I get to participate or to worry about you or to make plans for when this cancer finally takes you, because let’s be honest...it’s not if it’s when. This is something I needed to know, Steve. Not kept in the dark only to find out the day our son enters the world.” You were crying, your face matched your husband’s puffy cheeks and red eyes.
“I’m sorry...there’s nothing more I can say,” he mumbles through the crying.
“You didn’t even get to hold him,” you say softly, looking down at the sleeping newborn in your arms.
Steve wipes at his face again, trying to dry up the tears, “I know…” his face is riddled with sadness.
“What are we going to do without you, Steve?” The tears have yet to cease.
You bite at your bottom lip but shake your head slowly acknowledging his simple word. The four-letter word was small, but it would be the hardest thing you’d ever have to do. Steve was the love of your life...things just wouldn’t be the same without him.
You look down at the sleeping baby in your arms, the spitting image of his biological father, but Steve’s son just as well. Steve has yet to have a moment to see or even hold him, and you don’t want to keep him from his son any longer.
“Steve…,” you look at your husband, eyes still red and puffy from crying, “do you wanna hold him?”
Your husband nods excitedly and wipes his face once again, “Can I?” His voice is shaky from crying.
”Yeah…,” you chuckle and get up off the bed, still holding the baby and walk over to Steve.
Steve sits up nice and tall in the wheelchair and waits for you to place his son in his arms. You successfully get him settled with Steve, only minor squeaks from the sleeping baby.
“Hey, there…,” Steve looks at the brunette boy he’s holding, tears already forming again, “I’m so happy to finally meet you.”
You watch as Steve’s face goes through so many emotions; happiness, sadness, regret, joy. Holding his child for the first time was one of the happiest moments of your life, and one you won’t forget anytime soon.
Time seemed to move slowly, and you’re not sure just how long you watched Steve and Xavier, but they held your attention until Bucky walked through the door, food in hand.
“Hey, guys-“ he stops when he sees Steve and the baby.
“Hey, Buck,” Steve smiles back at him.
Bucky sets the food down and walks over to Steve’s side and looks down at his biological son. “You look good...you look good together,” Bucky says with smile.
“They do, don’t they?” You agree and bend down and kiss Steve’s cheek softly.
“Thank you, Buck.” Steve says, still looking down at the sleeping baby.
“For?” He looks at him confused.
Steve looks up at Bucky and stares at him, tears pooling in his eyes, “Everything...this...my family…”
Bucky nods and does his best to smile at his friend, “You would’ve done the same for me.”
“Actually…there is something I’d like to do for you…,” Steve’s eyes dart to you and you give him a perplexed look, “I’d like us to hyphenate Xavier’s last name.”
“You do?” You question your husband, who’s eyes have never left you.
“I do. I think it’s only fair and the right thing to do given my current status.”
Your eyes move from Steve to Bucky, the man in a state of shock and disbelief. “Are you...is that something you’d want?” You ask him, your tone not sounding very confident about your question.
Bucky opens his mouth and exhales, but no words follow. He looks back at Steve and then you, trying to come up with a reasonable excuse as to why it was a bad idea, but nothing comes to mind. Instead he shrugs his shoulders and nods his head in agreement.
“Sure...sounds good to me.”
“Great!” Steve says with excitement, Xavier jolted awake from being startled. “Sorry, son.” He rubs the baby’s head, and luckily, he falls back to sleep as quick as he had been woken. “So, do we all agree on this? Xavier Grant Rogers-Barnes?”
Both you and Bucky look at each other and do your best to smile.
“Yeah,” you said softly.
“It’s great, Steve...perfect,” Bucky tries to sound convincing even though he’s so heartbroken by everything happening around him.
Steve smiles brightly and then eyes the food Bucky brought in. “I’m starving...let’s eat!”
You chuckle and move over to the bags. “Then Bucky will take you back to your room. You need to rest.”
“Food then rest...I can get on board with that.”
“Bucky...can you take Xavier, so Steve can eat?”
“Uh, yeah…,” Bucky walks to the wheelchair and careful takes the sleeping baby from his best friend.
“I’m glad I got to hold him…,” Steve says, wheeling himself to the makeshift table in your room, “maybe he’ll give me the push I need to get better.” A burst of happiness runs through him.
“Let’s hope things turn around and you’ll be home soon,” you grin and look down lovingly at your husband.
Too bad the things we want don’t ever happen how we wish them to be.
When I went to WDW, I had only barely scraped together money to go and to take my niece, who had pancreatic cancer and had 2 months to live. She wanted the pins she saw people wearing, but I didn't have the money, and I started to cry. A girl in line ahead of us asked me what was wrong. When I told her, she gave all 23 of the pins she had to my niece. I'll never forget how happy she made my niece, how it made her trip. She wore those to the day she died. Thank you, whoever you are.
A/N: There’s only 3 chapters left, and I warned you this was going to be an emotional story, especially with Steve’s cancer diagnosis. Please don’t hate me, but I did say there would be a happy ending for the reader, just wait and see how this all plays out. Enjoy!
**TAGS FOR THIS SERIES ARE CLOSED**
You sat by Steve’s bedside, three-month-old Xavier nursing in your arms. You look over at your husband who has been in and out of it all day, the end getting closer with each passing moment, and tears begin to run down your face.
The past three months has been the most difficult you’ve ever been through, but you love Steve and wouldn’t trade away any moment you’ve had with him. Even now, sitting next to him in his weakened state, his pale skin, all his fire and fight gone, there’s no place else you’d rather be.
Steve wasn’t able to leave the hospital when you had been discharged. It took two weeks for his levels to become somewhat stable, but he agreed to have hospice care when he left, and the doctors allowed him his freedom. Little did he know, he’d be back within two weeks or he never would’ve left.
Once he was back at the hospital things went from bad to worse, the cancer taking him over and having its way with him. A week ago, they said there was nothing more to be done and he’d need constant twenty-four-hour care, which is what he was getting, but they said he’d be gone by weeks end...today would be that day.
The door opens and Bucky walks in, trying to stay as quiet as he can be. He walks over to you and kisses your cheek and rubs Xavier’s head, seeing his blue eyes meet his own.
“How’s he doing?” Bucky looks over at the sleeping Steve.
You wipe the tears from your face with a tissue from the box that’s been a constant at your side before shrugging your shoulders and shaking your head.
“No change. He comes and goes and when he comes to, he’s pretty out of it. It’s happening less and less, and they say soon.”
Bucky moves over to his side and grabs his warm hand. “Hey, Steve….,” he starts to talk but Steve’s eyes stay closed, “I’m here buddy...I miss talking to ya. Gonna wake up for me?”
The beeping of the monitors stays steady and Steve’s chest continues to rise and fall, but he makes no acknowledgement he knows his friend is there. Bless Bucky for his continued effort, but at this point you both know Steve’s life may end like this.
“Has anyone else been by?” Bucky asks, still holding his hand.
“Nat and Sam we’re here earlier, but Sam got a client call and had to leave. I sent Nat home...she was fussing over me and-I just couldn’t handle it.”
Bucky understood. All of their friends had gathered around to help in any way they could, and some of it was too much. He knew you were grateful, but he also realized this was a stressful time for you being a mom and having to watch your husband pass away to a disease that had no cure. You just needed them to back off when things got to be too out of control for you to deal with.
“Tony came yesterday...said he’d pay for anything we needed. He really is a great friend and boss.”
“He really is,” Bucky agreed, trying to throw a smile in your direction.
Both of your eyes quickly move to Steve, the sick man’s eyes are barely open.
“Steve! I’m here, bud…” Bucky squeezes his friends’ hand, hoping it’ll get the other man to open his eyes.
“My...mom says...hi…,” he breathes out, eyes still appear partially closed.
You quickly pull Xavier off your breast and hurry to his bedside. If you heard correctly, Steve is having hallucinations...things could be coming to an end soon.
“H-how’s she doing?” Bucky’s voice is shaky, his own tears have started to fall.
“She...she wants me...to tell...you thanks...for...the gift…” Steve sucks in a breath having exhausted himself.
“What gift?” Bucky eyes furrowed in confusion.
“Her...grandson…,” Steve begins to cough, having used too much of his lungs to talk even though the cannula is inserted into his nose.
Bucky tries to curve his lips to smile, but just can’t do it. He’s realized this is most likely his final goodbye and he knows it’s not going to be a happy one.
“He’s here, Xavier and your wife too...there both here, next to me.”
“Hey, baby…,” you say, putting your free hand on his arm, letting him know you’re there.
“I love you…,” Steve whispers, tears are falling from his eyes.
“I love you too,” you mumble from the full crying you’re doing.
“My mom...says...you’re...beautiful…” his eyes are wide open now and his blue eyes are staring at you, glassed over.
“Shhhh...you don’t have to talk, Steve.” You reach out and touch his face.
“I’m happy...I got...to marry you…,” he slowly says, struggling to get out the words.
“I’m happy, too.” Your thumb rubs softly at his cheek.
“Bucky...don’t leave...take care of them…”
Bucky shakes his head, “You know I will,” Bucky puts his arm around you and pulls you close to him.
“Steve baby...it’s okay...you can sleep now,” the tears flow down your face like a river.
“Everything will be okay,” Bucky tells him, still holding his hand.
Steve slowly closes his eyes and breathes in one last time, “End...of...the...line…,” the air escapes his lungs and his body goes limp.
“Rest now…” you lean in and kiss his lips for the last time, but it was already too late...Steve’s machine was a flat line...the constant sound signaling he was finally gone.
Steve Rogers x Reader, Bucky Barnes x Reader (friends), Sam Wilson, Natasha Romanoff
Warnings: Talk of cancer, language
A/N: Things are progressing, but no one knows what’s going on. Is Steve hiding something or does he just think his wife needs as little stress as possible? Guess we’ll find out, but maybe friends can help make everything better. Enjoy!
**TAGS FOR THIS SERIES ARE CLOSED**
“Why blue?” Sam asks you for the twenty fifth time today and sounds even more annoying than it has the past twenty-four times he’s asked the question.
“For the love of god!” Bucky blurts out from the floor. “It’s Steve’s favorite color!”
Your friends had come together today to set up the baby’s room. Sam volunteered to paint, and Nat agreed to help build the furniture. With little Xavier coming in three months, it was time to get everything ready to go for his entrance into the world.
“Quiet, you!” You softly scold the brunette, “You’ll wake up Steve!”
Steve was in your shared bedroom taking a nap. Yesterday he’d had a treatment and he was normally very tired that day and the next. Your friends were already planning on coming over, and you had told your husband you could just change days, but he insisted you carry on as planned and not switch days to accommodate him.
“How’s he doing anyway?” Nat asks from the floor helping Bucky with the crib.
You shake your head and sigh, “I’m not sure…”
“What does that even mean?” Sam's voice comes from the wall behind you.
“It means Steve’s doing what he does best and not talking about his issues.” Bucky’s quick to speak up.
“You think he’s getting sick again?” Natasha perks up after helping put a difficult piece together.
“He’s never not sick,” you answer, fumbling with the clothes in your hand.
Sam stops painting and makes his way over to you, “You think he’s hiding something?”
You edged closer to Sam and leaned into your friend, putting your arms around him in a hug, “I don’t know…”
Over the last three months Steve’s treatments had become more regular. Your husband assured you it was just a precaution and was nothing to worry about, but your gut instinct was telling you otherwise. You were certain he was hiding his worsening condition.
Steve never wanted you to go to the hospital with him, and always had Sam pick him up and bring him home. You had questioned him as to why he didn’t want you there and he always just smiled and told you the hospital smells would most likely make you sick and the last thing he wanted was to worry about you knowing he wouldn’t be able to do anything to help. Steve was seriously the most selfless man you knew.
“So which one of us is gonna say something?” Sam eyes Bucky and Nat looking for volunteers.
“And say what, exactly?” Nat’s eyebrows furrowed in a frown. “Hey, Steve! How ya doing? Hope everything’s good. By the way, we think you’re hiding something so spill it now before we find out and all hell breaks loose?”
“The direct approach is always the best way to go.” Sam winks at his girlfriend but she doesn’t find what he says entertaining at all.
“Maybe we're all reading this wrong and there actually isn’t anything wrong.” Bucky stands up and moves over to you, wrapping his arms around you and holding you close.
The hug is very much needed, and you relax into it. All this talk about Steve and the possibility he’s hiding something is worrisome and stressing you out. Bucky seems to pick up in it and it’s the reason he’s now holding you trying, to ground you. You really need all the love and support you can get right now. Everything is starting to be too much for you to handle.
“Look, all I’m saying is maybe we should talk to him. If he’s keeping anything from us, don’t you think we, his friends and family, should know?” Sam’s eyes dart between everyone in the room.
“Family and friends should know what?” Steve’s gruff voice fills the silence.
Everyone turns around and sees a weakened Steve standing in the doorway of the room.
“Hey, baby!” You detach yourself brim Bucky and quickly move over to your husband, kissing his lips and enveloping him in a hug.
Steve smiles and embraces you, feeling the tension coursing through your body and starts rubbing at your back, soothing you.
“You okay, sweetheart?” He asks softly, you can hear the weakness in his voice.
“Are you?” Nat glares daggers at Steve and you can feel you husband inhale a sharp breath at her look.
“I’m fine, guys...why wouldn’t I be?” Steve laughs a little, trying to lighten the mood.
“Because you have cancer?”
“Nat!” Bucky and Sam scold at the same time.
“What?! You were looking for volunteers. Now you don’t want me to say anything?” She’s glaring between the two men that stopped her.
Steve sighs and shakes his head, “Guys, enough...really. I’m fine. I had my normal treatment yesterday and it takes a lot out of me, but everything is going well...promise.”
Nat, Sam, and Bucky all look at each other and say nothing, almost like they were having a silent conversation in their heads.
“You’d tell us if anything changes, right?” Sam questions him, his forehead puckered, and you can see the worry lines on his face.
Steve nods and gives a reassuring look, “You know, I’m a horrible liar.”
All of you laugh knowing that he’s absolutely telling the truth. Steve has never been able to lie to anyone and he’d give himself away if he tried. So, for now, you’d have to believe him until he gave you reason to think otherwise.
“Well, now that’s settled,” you remove yourself from your husband and walk over to the paint supplies grabbing the brand-new roller, “want to join us? You can help Sam paint!” You held it out in his direction.
Your husband grins and nods slowly, “Man... I thought I got out of this!” He makes his way over to you and takes the roller from your hand. “You’re so lucky I love you,” he teases, and places a soft kiss to your nose.
“And you’re so lucky I’m pregnant or I’d kick your ass!” You joke and slap his ass.
“Not again! Will you two ever stop?” Sam complains but smiles at the show of affection between you.
“Nope,” Steve replies, “not as long as I’m alive!”
All of you stop what you’re doing and look at him with shock and awe.
Steve looks around at all of you, mouths agape and stunned and shakes his head, “I’m kidding, guys! Jesus, lighten up!” He chuckles and the four of you relax at his joke.
“You’re such an asshole, Steve!” Bucky says, throwing his half full water bottle at him.
“But you love me though!” Steve grins at his best friend.
“‘Till the end of the line, pal,” Bucky replies and Steve nods. “No matter how short lived that may be,” Bucky says under his breath hoping no one would hear his rather bleak outlook on his best friend’s life.
Okay friends, I need your help! If you're like me, I didn't know much about pancreatic cancer until my mom was diagnosed with it. I know the worst thing you can do is look up statistics, but 74% of patients don't make it through the first year (granted my mom is a fighter and will be in that 26%). With statistics like this, we need to create awareness! My family is in the process of creating hundreds of bracelets, in which for the time being all of the proceeds with go to my mom for her medical bills. We will have bracelets like this, along with other charms like feathers, elephants, lotus flower, and trees of life for $5 each. If you are interested, I can mail them out as we want pancreatic cancer awareness to be nationwide. As always, thank you for the outpour of love and support my family has received from everyone. Please share this!
Il materiale di origine: Bryan Derballa for New York Times via @oscarsbday (Instagram) / “For Oscar Isaac’s birthday this year, won’t you consider making a donation in his mother’s memory? Thank you.❤️🙏🏼 ~ Pancreatic cancer has the lowest five-year survival rate of any major cancer - just 9% in the United States. In 2016, it surpassed breast cancer to become the third leading cause of cancer-related death. Every dollar that we raise with this campaign will go directly to the Pancreatic Cancer Action Network, an organization that uses the money to advance research, support patients, and find breakthroughs in the prevention, diagnosis, and treatment of pancreatic cancer. (pancan.org)” More donation details and how you can send a birthday message to Oscar here on Tumblr: @oscarsbirthdayproject
Steve Rogers x Reader, Bucky Barnes x Reader (friends)
Warning: Language maybe?
A/N: Have you figured out where this story is heading. I told you guys this was going to be a very emotional journey. You have been warned. Hope you guys enjoy this chapter and let me know what you think.
**TAGS FOR THIS SERIES ARE CLOSED**
Your first trimester of pregnancy was rough. Many times, you cried to both Steve and Bucky, asking them why you ever thought this would be a good idea. You had headaches all the time, you couldn’t keep anything down, you had lost some weight, and you were tired all the time. The doctor assured you things would get better in your second trimester, but you weren’t so sure and even went as far as to call him a ‘lying liar who lies’ on more than one occasion.
When the second trimester came around, you did begin to feel better, and felt things start to look up. The baby obviously must have realized the two of you were in this together and should try to get along, allowing you to start eating more and be at little more active. This kid wasn’t even born yet and was showing you just how parenting was really going to be.
“I swear...this baby is one hundred percent you,” you joke with Bucky while you guys are sitting and eating lunch at the local dinner.
Bucky shook his head and scoffed, “I got no clue what you’re talking about,” he grins and puts a fry in his mouth, looking very much like a smug asshole.
“You’re so frustrating,” you smile back and take a bite of the burger on your plate.
Bucky watches you ingest the sandwich with a loud moan and shrugs his shoulders when a few of the patrons look in your direction.
“I take it the baby is letting you eat now?”
“Oh, god yes!” You muffled out, talking with your mouth full. “This baby is so stubborn...I wonder where that comes from?” You give him your best bitch face.
Bucky shrugs his shoulders, “I got no clue…” he says with his infamous million-dollar smile.
You roll your eyes with a smile and go back to your plate of food.
“I thought Steve was coming?” Bucky says after a few moments of silence, allowing you time to digest some more off your plate.
“Thought so too,” you grab your phone and look to see if you’ve missed any messages from your husband. “He had a doctor’s appointment this morning and said he’d meet us here.” You tap in your lock code and see no new messages or missed calls.
“What doctor was he seeing today?” Bucky’s brows furrowed with his questioning gaze.
“His oncologist. Just a check to make sure his cancer hasn’t metastasized, I’m sorry...grown or spread.”
Bucky chuckles, “No need to apologize, I do know what that word means.” He grabs his drink in front of him and takes a sip. “I’m surprised you didn’t go with him...don’t you usually attend all his appointments.”
You nodded and lowered your head, “Steve didn’t want me to go.”
“Why?” Bucky looks shocked that his friend would keep the woman he loved from supporting him at the doctor.
“He said…,” you sigh heavily, and a tear escapes your eye, “everything should be fine, but since I’m pregnant he doesn’t want me stressed and worried about him.”
“Y/N…,” Bucky reaches across the table and puts his hand on yours making you look up at him, “I know it doesn’t seem like it, but he’s just trying to protect you.”
“Protect me from what?” You ask, raising your voice a little, hormones and emotions starting to get to you.
“I don’t know…” Bucky’s the one that lowers his head this time not wanting to finish his thought process.
“From bad news? That’s what you’re thinking, right?” Tears are now streaming down your face.
Bucky nods and sighs, “Maybe?”
As much as you hated to hear it, you knew that was a possibility. Steve’s been receiving treatment knowing that it would only prolong the inevitable. There’s no cure for his cancer, he’s just biding his time until he takes his last breath. In fact, he could be on the receiving end of some horrible news today.
“Speaking of,” Bucky’s voice brings you from your thoughts and you turn around to see your husband entering the diner and heading your way.
“Sorry I’m late…,” he says when he reaches the table sitting down next to you and kissing your cheek.
“Everything okay?” You were quick to question, needing to know how his appointment went.
Steve gives you a soft smile and steals one of the fries from your plate, “Everything’s fine.”
Relief sets in and you exhale a breath you had been holding in since he sat down. “I’m happy to hear that.”
Bucky looks at Steve, not quite believing him, but his friend isn’t giving any signs of deception so he takes what he’s given. “Good...so are you hungry?”
Steve shakes his head quickly, “I knew I was late, the oncologist was running behind, so I stopped and grabbed tacos from the vendor around the corner from their office. So good!”
You giggle knowing just how good those tacos really are, but the baby in your stomach most likely won’t handle it well. Thank god, you’ve been able to keep down what you’ve eaten so far. This child does not like too many greasy foods.
“Well, I’m happy you joined us anyway.” You grab his arm and lean up against him.
Steve kisses the top of your head and Bucky rolls his eyes. “Ugh, you guys are so disgustingly cute...I think I’m getting an ulcer.”
“Is someone jealous?” You tease and raise your head, kissing Steve on the cheek.
Bucky scoffs, “Hell no! I’m totally good with living the bachelor life...less drama!”
Baby…,” Steve turns his head to look at you, “did you and Bucky discuss baby names?”
“Oh, no... we-uh...hadn’t gotten to that,” you stuttered out, not ready to start talking names yet.
Bucky senses your unease, and quickly comes to your aid, “You know, I’m not ready for that yet, especially since we won’t find out the sex of the baby until next month. I’m good with waiting.” Bucky throws a wink at you.
Steve looks between the two of you but shrugs off any additional thoughts. “Okay, we’ll wait,” he agrees with his friend, “but once we know we’re discussing names!”
Bucky chuckles and concedes to the blond, “Yeah, okay...after the ultrasound. Speaking of...you guys sure you want me to come?”
“Of course, we do!” Steve doesn’t hesitate to reassure his friend. “We’re in this together, remember?”
“Together.” Bucky’s eyes dart in your direction.
“Together,” you agree and smile back at Bucky and then Steve.
“Alright, my good friends,” Bucky shoves one last fry in his mouth and stands up from the table, “I gotta head back, lunch is just about over.” He takes out his wallet and places some money on the table. “Call me if you need me, okay?”
“We will.” Steve holds out his hand to Bucky.
“Really, Steve? A handshake? You could at least give me a hug!”
Steve smiles and shrugs his shoulders but makes no move to get up. “Guess I’m just tired from hurrying over here, that’s all.”
“Fine…” Bucky reluctantly shakes his hand and pats him on the shoulder. “See you soon,” he says. “Bye, beautiful.”
“Talk to you soon, Bucky,” you replied.
He nods and walks out of the diner and back out into the world.
“You sure you’re okay?” You turn and ask your husband, concerned by his last statement to his friend.
“I’m fine...there’s nothing you need to worry about.”