#part six | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

epiclamer · 1 year

Text

Cat’s 3K Series

part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5, part six

Part Six

Fuck that.

Admittedly, their first reaction when the villain had slammed the door on their face, was to break down into a hysterically sobbing mess. But when their rational brain kicked into gear, Hero realized this type of reaction was Villain’s way of self-sabotage.

A small detail that divided the two so strongly when it came to their personalities.

Hero would always take the distraction, they would always choose the quick-pleasure over facing their fears and they would run from the darkness until their body gave out. Something they knew all too well about themselves.

Contrarily, Villain was nothing like that. Opposites attract, right? Villain shut down, they shut everything down. Sealing themselves off from their supports and burning the bridges it had taken them so long to make. When they were faced with a problem, they would always go in alone. Hero could only imagine the guilt they carried around believing their brother’s pain was their fault.

It was meant as a means of protection, maybe for themselves, maybe for the ones around them, but all it ever really did was hurt. Even more so than it would if Villain would accept help from others, but Hero was beginning to realize just how afraid the villain was of doing just that.

They couldn’t blame them.

As gingerly as possible, Hero had somehow managed to slip back on their torn suit without reopening any of their wounds. A brief surge of pride swelled in their chest and an image of them boasting to the villain about their feat flashed across their mind, an overwhelming wave of sadness following suit at the idea of never seeing them again.

Hero shook their head, dizzying themselves as they clutched to a nearby wall for support. This was either the stupidest or smartest decision they had ever made, they hadn’t decided yet.

Zipping up the back, fixing their hair from their bloodied face and Hero was ready to go. Worrying the thought of Villain pushing them away, again and again. They just had to focus; they needed one last chance.

Arriving at the outskirts of Supervillain’s base, Hero still hadn’t managed to conjure a plan. They had instead, avoided passing out, throwing up and bleeding out, to make up for their lack of responsibility going into this.

Truth be told; Hero had no idea what to expect or what they were walking in on. With their overexerted body, they couldn’t hurt a fly let alone a supervillain. Hero was oh so royally fucked.

All in the name of love, if it could even be called that. Villain could be using the other’s naivety and Hero would be completely clueless, strolling into the lair of a supervillain singsonging a feverish, lovesick delusion.

But if Villain really did love them the way it felt, if Villain really did want this future… Hero wasn’t going to risk the loss.

Not when they were so close.

Scoping the place out had been the easiest part yet, an unattended back door sat unlocked and Hero couldn’t believe their luck when they strolled in to see an empty corridor. Maybe this was all a trap, Villain had conjured this fake trauma to rid themselves of the hero and now that they were here… They didn’t want to think about it.

Getting in their own head would be a fatal mistake at this stage in their plan, not that they had one, but overthinking hindered all other senses making them more vulnerable than ever, they couldn’t risk that—

A strong hand clasped over Hero’s mouth and another wrapped around their waist, pulling them with such a force that they were practically thrown into an empty storage room. Speak of the devil. Hero groaned, trying to steady themselves on shaking legs and pulsing wounds.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing.”

Hero’s demeanour brightened when they recognized the villain’s voice through their hazy brain. They looked up and sure enough their lover’s face was there, unhappy as ever, but so ridiculously gorgeous. “Villain~”

They pushed themselves towards the other, hopelessly trying to close the gap between them, longing for one more touch, but Villain stopped them. “No. No, no, no, I told you to leave. I told you to get out of here before they got you too and—”

“Villain, love—”

“Don’t call me that.” The criminal looked on the verge of tears, held back by a mask that had kept every piece of them together for years. Finally, there was a crack in their armour. “Not after you pull something like this.”

Hero took a deep breath, masking their pain behind a clenched jaw and straining muscles. “Villain, I came to help. You need my help.”

“I don’t need anything from you.”

They swallowed, this was going to be harder than they thought.

“Please just listen to me—”

“Why should I listen to you when you couldn’t listen to me.” Villains hands shook by their side as they tried to keep their voice low. Alerting unwanted attention would be a death sentence this deep into Supervillains base and their brother— “This is more than some fantasy you’ve created in your head, this is my family at risk, this is you at risk. You are risking everything by being here right now.”

Villain choked back on their shaking voice, taking a silent moment to remember how to breathe before they made anymore of a fool of themselves. Being this pathetic, this weak. Supervillain would definitely burn the lesson into their defenceless sibling, making them pay for the villain’s own mistakes. How could they have been this weak…

When their eyes could meet the hero’s again without acid burning their throat and the relentless stinging in their nose, Villain could see just how terrible they looked. Blood crusted into their suit, fresh red stains only growing, the way they swayed their head from side to side—most definitely involuntarily—and how their skin seemed to glow with a sickly green undertone.

Both of their bloodshot eyes met, both of them red with tears for different reasons but that didn’t mean they didn’t understand the other’s pain. Hence, both situations weren’t foreign ones when it came to one another.

They weren’t strangers anymore.

One couldn’t be a stranger with someone after learning their most vulnerable secrets or after seeing them in tears over things they never let light shed on.

“Please, don’t be mad at me… I just want to help.”

Countless times they had been pushed away, just this once Hero begged for the villain’s change of heart. In hindsight it shouldn’t have worked, Villain’s cold facade and uncaring mind should’ve shut them down all over again, but they hesitated and Hero didn’t need to wait for them to question it any longer.

“We’re going to get your brother out of here and then we’re going to move to another country together, alright?” As softly as possible, Hero leaned in, placing their shaking hands on Villains hips and pressing their lips together. They didn’t want to push it, but Villain took their initiative and kissed back in a way that sent sparks down the hero’s spine.

They were together again, as one. One w(hole).

God, Hero could never be serious when it came to situations of which they were nervous.

“Together…” Villain whispered, centring the hero’s attention, breathless while tears flowed freely down their cheeks. Hero’s grimy fingers smeared tracks of blood against their skin in an effort to wipe the tracks. “Promise me that if everything turns to shit that you’ll run. You won’t look back, you’ll just go and change your name and start a new life without ever returning to this place.”

Hero wanted to promise, they wanted to reassure the villain in the ways they knew they had never been comforted before. But this was one of the only things they couldn’t promise, not even if it alleviated all of their lover’s worries. Hero wouldn’t leave their side if it cost them their life.

“You know I can’t do that.” Their foreheads touched for a moment of peace, Hero closed their eyes and imagined laying in bed with the villain like this. Feeling their warmth through the sheets and the sun speckle their face.

“I can’t lose you too.” Villain’s voice was pained again, like they were picturing Hero’s cold, dead body on the pavement and it wouldn’t leave their head.

“And you won’t.” Thankfully, the criminal’s eyes were closed tight enough that they didn’t see the twisted grimace of pain Hero sported as they jostled their barely healed wounds again. “Are you ready?”

Villain smiled, eyes opening with unconvincing ease and they nodded. Pecking Hero’s lips one more time before they let go, ready to face the monster behind it all, but most of all ready to move on;

Together.

180 notes · View notes

thedecayingapplefiles · 2 months

Text

Part Six

Rainbow had solemnly said goodbye to Scootaloo through tears, but was unable to look at the monster the young filly had turned into. After she left, it was just Sweetiebelle and the infected Scootaloo.

"...Oh, Scootaloo... What happened?" Sweetie sighed, sitting down in front of the glass window.

"Applebloom said she wanted to play~" Came the distorted voice of her friend, shocking the unicorn. "She wanted me to become like her! So she gave me this itty bitty little scratch... Didn't hurt at all!"

"It... It didn't?" Sweetiebelle tilted her head.

"Not at all!" Followed by a distorted laugh. It sounded like Scootaloo, but something obviously wasn't right.

"...Did this happen to Applejack, too?" Sweetie stood up, approaching the glass a little more.

"Mhm!" Scootaloo replied. "We wanna make every pony like us! Powerful and strong and super cool-! C'mon, you wanna be strong, don't you, Sweetiebelle?"

Sweetiebelle paused. "I-I mean... Yeah..." She murmured.

"...Then let me out." The infected, orange filly hummed.

"I-I can't, Twilight said you're infected!" Sweetie backed away from the window, earning a scowl from the previously grinning pony.

"Let me out~" she purred again, putting her clawed hoof on the glass.

"No!" Sweetie said, in a more firm tone.

"LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT!!!" Scootaloo cried out, the sound demonic. It caused Sweetiebelle to wail, covering her ears with her hooves before running away crying.

#mlp #mlp infection au #mlp virus #story #the decaying apple files #mlp fim #tw body horror #tw blood #part six

27 notes · View notes

artdivadej · 1 year

Text

Survivor’s Remorse (VI)

Part Six

NSFW | 18+ | PTSD | Self harm | Torture

Part 7 | Part 8

"Shit"

"Yeah. I'm really sorry about that by the way. About you. I didn't mean-"

"It's fine. I know it wasn't personal" he waves his hand dismissively before clearing his throat. "I asked Annie about what it was like, once. She told me that after her first day she really didn't know. She could hear you talking sometimes but mainly just, screaming. Told me that after they dragged her past you the first day, you didn't stop screaming for a week. Annie said that they never came back for her after that day though"

"That..." I hesitate but don't want to lie to him "It's true"

"Shit"

"Yeah"

"Have you ever really talked about it?"

"No"

"Do you want to?"

"No. I don't want to think" I admit shaking my dizzy head as I sucked on the sugar cube

Finnick pulls a string from his pocket and drops it into my hands, showing me some complicated loops.

"I could teach you some knots? We'd have to take these off though"

He taps at my nail guards and I swallow the rest of the sugar in my mouth before pulling them securely to my chest with a shake of the head.

"I don't want to hurt you" I breathe

"You won't" He chuckles while deftly unlocking them

"How do you-?"

"Who do you think helps Beetee design your mouthguards and cuffs while Cinna's in recovery?"

My eyes widen and I grin at him. I should've known. The few memories I have, Finnick'd always treated me like a little sister in. He made me remember that we all grew up too soon. I had real fun with Finnick. I remember being on the sand, scaring Peeta awake, dancing around a bonfire and learning songs of the sea. I squeeze my eyes shut in pain as jolts of electricity rattle my spine. I clench my teeth and focus on one spot in front of me, unfortunately everyone seems to be focused on Finnick and me, also curious about my Torture Tales. Or maybe the fact that I'm gripping his hand tightly in my sharp nailed one. It doesn't seem like I'm hurting him though, and I need a firm grip on reality right now.

"The Quarter Quell. We...you and I...we" I choke trying to fight through the immeasurable pain it brings me to speak about the Quell, let alone think about it.

This overpowering fear made me convulse as if I was being shocked with cattle prods again. They stayed with me until he released my hand, his arm wrapping around my shoulders to keep me together. Finnick gives me a reassuring squeeze and it helps lessen the shaking some more.

"That's it. What did we do?" he coaxes gently

I don't like how Peeta's eyes bore into my face, his body screaming he wants me to answer too. Why? If I actually had done something with Finnick, why should he care? He loved Katniss. Right?

The sand is burning, I can see hands reaching out the water towards me, blood dripping from the eyes at the center of their palms. Even the moonlight hurts my eyes.

"It's scary here Finn" I sigh tiredly

"I'm not leaving ya. Just like I didn't than"

I take another shaky breath before pushing on, absorbing his strength at my side to keep going.

"We had...fun. I felt like a kid again with you. We played a joke on Peeta. It...it made me feel so good to see him laugh. Really laugh. Why?" I hiss angrily feeling the venom bubble in my mouth unbidden from aggression I didn't understand.

Ugh not now.

I'm not a monster! I spit the purple venom onto the ground at my feet and bite down on my arm hard. Well, that's new. This is the first time it's been purple. Just what else did they do to my canine ducts? My back goes rigid, pain licking every cell of my body, head thrown back as I choke on a scream of terror. I faintly hear commands being shouted before my vision goes black.

I start myself awake for a few seconds again sometime later. I can tell I've screamed something but then I feel a prick in my neck and I'm pulled under again.

This time when I awake, I'm sitting propped up but snug and strangely comfortable. A big arm is wrapped around my shoulders to keep me warm while nestled into their side. There's blonde hair in the corner of my eye, my heart leaps as I whisper his name out of an impulse that felt unnaturally...habitual.

"I'm here" Peeta's voice whispers across the dim lamplight and I'm startled by the emotions that erupt at the hauntingly familiar phrase.

I look around to gauge the time. The stars are out. I've been out for a while. Only he and Johnson are awake.

Ah, watching the rabid highjacked psycho.

If it's not Peeta beside me, then who? Quirking my head just a bit I see that Finnick is who's holding me together tonight, sleeping peacefully with his other arm across his stomach, trident strapped to his back. No one else would dare get so close to me. Let alone to just leave their guard down like that and sleep so deeply within range of me or my teeth.

"Nothing I-" I stop not sure what I want to say

"Hungry?" Peeta offers

My mouth waters and my stomach answers. He sends me a wry smile before grabbing a bowl sitting beside him and sliding closer to offer it to me. He's too close. I can smell him at this distance. He was only 6 feet away from me and his fingers graze my palm as he makes sure the bowl is securely in my shackled hands before letting it go.

It warms me more than the bowl does. I don't know how to feel about that. Inside the bowl is a couple slices of ham and a few buttery potato squares. I still couldn't stand vegetables and being so close to the Training Quarters, I could feel the tears building again.

Why the fuck was everything making me so emotional? I needed Peeta away from me. This was his fault. I just know it is.

"You ok?"

His benevolence towards me is disarming and it unnerves me. It made everything that much more confusing.

"Why are you being so fucking nice to me?" I grumble wanting to understand him because maybe, it just might help me understand a bit about myself. I was willing to die for him. Why? "I tried to rip your fuckin throat out! Why?"

Peeta lets out a sigh and just eyes me sadly before rubbing his thighs. I recognize this nervous habit and it sparks something else within me. I answer before he can.

"We protect each other"

"Always" he nods with a small side smirk

I don't like the hope I see bloom on his face or how my heart leaps at the word. It frightens me.

"I don't even know what to believe anymore. Friend? Mutt? Ally? Love. Hate! Real. Not real. How am I supposed to discern the bullshit from the facts!" I roar angrily, wanting to lash out at something.

"Ask" Finnick grumbles as he shifts to sit up

"Who?" I hiss grateful he's awake in case I need knocking out again

"Us" Johnson pipes up

"For what? All of you want me dead anyway. What are you to me! My next set of torturers just waiting to lead me to your next game, like your friend who loved kicking me around in that van? If you want me dead so badly, I wish someone would just get on with it! I'm so tired of everyone's mind games"

"Your allies. We're your squad now" Gale pipes in

Great. They'd all been awake. Must be hard to sleep with a wild fox in your den.

"So?" I grumble

"That makes us family. You saved a lot of lives when you warned us about the attack. We don't just forget that kind of thing in 13" Boggs explains sitting in the seat Peeta had vacated to hold my eyes seriously.

His face reflected true disgust when I screamed about Keil kicking me around. I had a feeling Boggs wasn't going to let that one just go either. I'm watching them warily when my stomach grumbles again. Finnick leans forward to release my nails so I can eat the way I like to, but I shake my head at him.

"I don't want to hurt anyone like I tried to earlier"

"That's not what you did" Finnick chuckles ignoring me and releasing my nails

I greedily take a slice of ham and slurp it up, ignoring the fact I'm aware it looks as if I have no table manners.

"What do you mean?"

"You tend to lash out at yourself. Rarely at others unless its verbal"

I mull this over as I take a swallow of my water. My eyes land on Peeta again to see that he's still looking at me with that gentle stare of his, almost like he's enjoying watching me eat. He's calm. Tranquil.

It clicks.

I hold my restraints up so he can see the orange in the center where my sedative comes out.

"Orange. Orange is your favorite color. Soft...like a sunset. Real or not real?"

"Real. Yours is cobalt, like the collar and cuffs you're wearing"

I glance down at them and feel another appreciation for my friends. As few as I have. Leaning to my left I kiss Finnick on the cheek, now understanding the depths of his hand in this as well. Peeta stiffens but doesn't comment. Maybe this was a hint from Beetee without being pushy?

"Don't put ya greasy bacon lips on me" Finnick whines pulling a laugh from me

I lock eyes with Peeta again. I said it to Joanna but I needed to know which Peeta was real.

"Hot chocolate. You drank it before bed on the train. Real or not real?"

"Real"

I slam my eyes shut as the train memories start to tussle with each other. I don't want to ask this with so many ears on me but I know they won't stop hurting until I do. I look at Peeta imploringly.

"If we take some guards, would you feel comfortable walking with me? Just...for a little bit" I swallow

He tilts his head silently inquiring and I feel the need to explain.

"I have...questions but I'm not sure if..." I sigh scratching at my shoulder acutely aware of the audience.

Whether it happened or not I doubt he'd want everyone to know the lewd details that I'd viciously tried to air out before. I didn't want to do that again. He looks to Boggs for permission who nods his assent. Even though he was the one that'd knocked me unconscious when I'd first seen Peeta and attempted to rip out his trachea with my teeth, I liked him.

"Take 2 with you"

Peeta moves to stand but I flinch back against Finnick when he leans my way, my nails digging into the sleeping bag. I can't help the fear I feel here in the dark, surrounded, with his hands ready to lock around my throat if he wanted. I can't help the way my eyes rapidly scan every pair of eyes on me to map out their locations. Would anyone even try to stop him?

I peek up at Finnick to see he's watching me with a wistful cerulean gaze. On the one hand, I'd like to think Finnick meant what he said. On the other, I don't want him in any unnecessary danger as a newlywed. It's bad enough he has to be out here in the first place. No. If they do turn on me, I want Finnick to stay the fuck out of it.

"Finn" I whisper "Can you put my mouthguard on for me?"

"Do you really need it?"

"I don't want it but... I think so. My questions are...triggering. When they tortured me about the train and the Quell, they.... they spent a week straight breaking every bone in my hands. It was one of the ways to make me terrified to think about them. They'd reset them a few hours after they were finished and do it again, playing the footage or what they altered in it. It felt like it was never ending. Part of my punishment for making them feel stupid. Again. We'd tricked them into believing Cinna knew nothing about the rebellion. Joanna and I were pretty convincing. We both do condescending pretty fuckin well. She caught some waterboarding for her troubles too. We took comfort in each other's screams. It meant we were still together. We still had each other. It was the silence that was terrifying. Wondering what they had planned next you know? I don't care that I still have issues with my hands now. They left him alone after that. He can still make pretty things"

I'm smiling like a lunatic and I'm rambling because I've never spoken these dark memories aloud. They're coming out quicker than I can stop them. I'm actually really proud of this. This was a true triumph for me from my time there. To have my hands ravaged so Cinna's would never have to be. Definite win in my book.

"His hands are like yours Peeta. Powerful but so delicate. Treasures. You appreciate and marvel at the gems they create. You don't hurt that. I don't want to hurt him" I admit to them with every breath as unsteady as my body was.

I don't want to see the pity that I can feel on everyone's faces as they all shift a little closer to me. I don't want it. Finnick pats the top of my head before he dips his in my tent to grab the guard. I lay back on the sleeping bag, hands palm side down, waiting for the hands on my shoulders. I'm baffled when they don't come.

"Whatcha dooooin?" Finnick sings poking my nose as he leans over me

I shake my head and sit up surveying them just as perplexed at their actions, or lack thereof, as they were at mine.

"They...everyone always straps me down when they put em on. There's.... a bar for between my teeth so I can't hurt them...I'm just used to-"

"Being treated like less of a person?" Katniss snaps

"Not like I've ever had a choice princess!" I snap back feeling stupid

"Well, you do now! Just tilt your head back!" she huffs irritably

"We don't want to put these, things, on you. Believe that. We only are because you asked" Leegs shakes her head as she explains

I nod than tip my head back obediently and pop my mouth open, extending my tongue to give him full access. Finnick easily slips it around my top row and clicks it securely in place. I widen my jaw a little until they fit comfortably on the inside of my cheeks, giving Finnick a thumbs up once they are. Peeta leans forward with his hands on his knees now, eyeing me with anticipation.

"Ready?"

"Ready" I lisp around the guard

My eyes narrow when I realize he's covered his mouth with his hand and is trying to stop from laughing at my newly acquired lisp. I always get it with the mouth guard. It's just much more comfortable in Beetee's than the too small ones Snow had me in. Finnick gingerly pulls me to my feet and rehooks my nail guards into place. Gale comes with us without a word. Good. This could just be seen as guy talk.

I wait until we've gotten a little way away from the camp before I start to talk. Gale and Finnick keep an 8-foot distance behind us as Peeta walks beside me. He doesn't seem concerned about me attacking him as his hand brushes mine every so often, quite warm against my cool skin. I'm beginning to think he's doing this on purpose when I realize he had in fact moved closer the more we walked.

"I... I wanted to know"

"About the train" he finishes thankfully cutting to the chase

"I slept with you?" I nod trying not to feel like an idiot "A lot"

"If you mean literally sleep, then yes. After the first games...you never really could without me"

"I wonder if I ever could" I mumble feeling bitter about my insomnia

"I hear you don't so well these days"

"I wouldn't know. It's hard to keep track. They drug me a lot to undilute my memories. It's hard to tell when I'm awake and when I'm not. So... I never had sex with you?"

"No" he coughs "Do you remember differently?"

"Yes...I mean. I think so"

"Tell me about it"

I glance behind us and see that while watchful, Finnick and Gale are otherwise interested in their own conversation. Finnick shoots me an encouraging smile before shooing me to look forward with a wave of his trident. I look back at Peeta and move over to the trees, leaning against one, arms crossed over my chest to tuck my trembling hands away.

"It's too shiny when I try to see your eyes...but" I swallow shakily running my hand through my hair again

"But?"

"It starts off fine but then when you're kissing me..."

I choke again and have to clench my teeth to fight the headache I feel trying to form.

"It doesn't feel like the 'you' I think I remember. This one is... Rough. Mean. Smacks me when I ask you to be gentle" I sigh

"Not real" he asserts with an appalled shake of the head.

"It's fuzzy when you're nice. I like that one better. You don't compare me to her in that one"

He doesn't have to ask to know who I'm talking about and I'm happy that he doesn't.

"Tell me about it"

"You...you're sweet. Gentle. Make me feel safe. I don't ever feel that way anymore" I shake my head trying to get this to make sense "You call me sweet names in this one. Always ask before touching me. You...like my scar. Mean Peeta hurts me with it. You make me feel good when you touch it"

Now I'm blushing and my hands are shaking.

I shouldn't like this. I'm not supposed to.

"Real"

My eyes meet his and I realize he's come much closer. I'm shaking but I don't know why. Fear? Longing? Trepidation. Uncertainty. What exactly do I feel for this boy that I'd been so convinced was trying everything he could to kill me? Especially when he looked at me the way he did now, as if I held all his heart in my hands. I look over his shoulder for Gale and Finnick. They've moved closer too and I'm grateful.

"I... asked to touch you. You told me I could" I breathe not realizing my pupils have contracted to slits reflecting the heat I felt sweep through me.

"Real" he husks

Why does he keep moving closer? They've broken me to kill him. He should hate me as much as they'd programmed me to despise him. But I don't shove him back either. I watch him warily as he steps into my bubble.

Maybe we both have a death wish?

***

Peeta had no intentions on pushing you tonight. He just wanted to see why you remembered the train the way you did. It was seeing the way you spoke about that night on the train that spurred him into movement. It was practically impossible for you to hide your emotions after Snow had your eyes altered. Not to mention Peeta had already practically been an expert in reading your body language having learned during your first games together.

You were scared but not for the reasons you claimed.

That was the only time you'd touched one another that intimately. Even then, you'd focused on his pleasure, even as you came and soaked his fingers. You wanted to watch him, your mouth greedily sucking at his bottom lip.

For some reason you hadn't told him, you were hesitant to let him all the way in, but Peeta was patient. To see you come unraveled first at his touch had made him explode in your warm hands too.

Your lips part and your eyes dart over his shoulder again, but he doesn't want your eyes on Gale and most especially not Finnick. Not when he can see the desire sparkling in them. Not when he had to watch you snuggle against Finnick while it was his name you whispered in your sleep. Or when it was Finnick who wiped the tears from your cheeks while you whimpered from nightmares and not him. Or when you'd happily kissed Finnick.

No. Peeta needed you to look at him.

Stepping closer so that he hovered just above you, Peeta placed his hands by either side of your waist, flat on the tree trunk, so he was almost touching you. Peeta likes that your back bows naturally, reacting on memories it wasn't aware of, while your breath quickens craving for him to touch you.

"What else?"

"I did. You let me", you swallow and bite your lip

Peeta doesn't say it but he sees your eyes drop to his fly before quickly darting back up to his. He wants you to remember that night the right way. He would never hurt you, especially not when you were trusting him at your most vulnerable. For them to warp your memories to believe he had...he wanted them obliterated. Peeta would rewrite every stolen kiss and touch they'd robbed of you.

"Real" Peeta hummed dipping his neck so his lips hovered just above yours

"I asked you to touch me too. Together we...You kissed me as I came" you begin to whisper wincing as if you'd been pricked by something

"Very real"

Peeta knew these were dangerous waters he was treading but he'd been holding back for so long. He raised his hands slowly, making sure that you could see every move he made. It was clear that the things about him you loved the most were what they focused on scaring you away from. It was abundantly clear from day one that his hands were on that list. You always watched them as if they would enclose around your throat. Even now you did yet you still wouldn't move away seemingly searching for answers of your own. Peeta's hands cup your cheeks and he can't help the way his heart sings when you nuzzle into them the way you used to.

"You've been rough with me. A few times. Mean Peeta is so rough with me"

"Not real. I would never. Not unless you asked me to" Peeta shakes his head tilting yours up so he can look into your icy gray eyes

"I can't separate them. I'm trying but I can't" you gasp shakily with tears in your eyes

"Let me show you, please love?" Peeta pleads lowly as his wet lips hover just above yours

"I don't want to hurt you" you whisper as a tear of honest fear rolls over your cheek, terrified of doing so even with the mouth guard and cuffs

Peeta wipes it away gently with another shake of the head.

"You won't" he smiles before his lips cover yours

Your cuffed fingers clutch the front of his shirt as you arch your neck, pushing your body closer to his. It had been too long since he'd felt your lips. Peeta slips his tongue between your plump lips, reveling in the soft moan that shakes your frame as he explores your mouth, sucking on your lips and tongue. He knows how weak it makes you when he suckles your hypersensitive tongue. His left-hand stays cupped on your cheek as his right rests on your hip, thumb caressing the tip of the scar across your belly in small pressured circles. Other than Cinna only he was ever allowed to touch it. When you pull back with an excited gasp, Peeta sees the flash of recognition in your eyes.

Yes.

Peeta doesn't wait before he captures your lips again, pulling your hip against his and sliding the fingers of his right up to thread through your hair. Your body curls into his just the way you used to, molding with him like the perfect piece to his puzzle that you are. Peeta nibbles your bottom lip before pulling your tongue between his lips again, loving how you whimper so softly in his mouth. When he finally pulls back, he rests his forehead against yours.

"Which feels real?" He exhales against your lips

"Gentle Peeta" you sigh "I-I wanted to but...I can't..."

Your pupils dilate widely and before Peeta can register what's happening, you shove him so hard away from you that he stumbles backwards into another tree.

"You're a liar" you hiss

Peeta sees it's not at him. Your eyes are fixed on a point somewhere deep in the woods and they're petrified.

"It's not him. I'm the mutt. I'm the monster. It's me!" You start to screech while pulling at your hair

Peeta starts forward but you snap your jaws in his direction in alarm, your eyes not really seeing anything around you, as you attempt to keep him away from you. Gale snatches Peeta backwards, keeping him at a safe distance.

"It might do more harm than good if it's you" he whispers in Peeta's ear to stop his struggling

"No, you lied! It's not him! It's me! I won't! I won't hurt him for you!" You wail as tears of resignation fall down your face. You move so rapidly as you suddenly pull the strap of your restraints against your throat, lock the strap around your throat then pull backwards in a clear attempt to strangle yourself against the tree behind you. You glare defiantly before choking out your final words "I'm done being in your games"

Finnick is on you in seconds. He's tackled you to the ground as you continue to scream at someone who isn't here. Peeta's eyes are wide with concern and he's trying not to shake in his distress. Within moments you're knocked unconscious by Finnick, who's activated the sedative in your collar. After bundling your slumped form up in his arms, his trident now across his back, he tucks your face away into his neck.

"Hmm" he chuckles under his breath walking over to Peeta and Gale "That went well"

"Who do you think she was talking to?"

"Snow" Peeta's answer is immediate and clipped "And that was a fucking disaster. I just made it worse"

"I don't know Peeta. I think that was a clearer answer than I ever got out of a girl", Gale shrugs as they make their way back to the camp "And I've had girls flat out tell me they liked me"

"What do you mean?"

Gale sighs with exaggeration but Peeta can tell he's not genuinely annoyed at him. Finnick has mercy and explains better, having the most experience in these matters.

"We learned about one thing that happened during her capture today. Can you imagine going through just that? Despite everything they made her forget, altered or put her through, that fear is there. The bloodlust just, isn't. You can't force the mind to just do what you want it to, no matter how much trackerjacker venom you've got. She literally tried to kill herself when the programming attempted to take over. She could have easily choked you instead. Bit your tongue out of your mouth. Anything. But she turned her own restraints back onto herself to protect you. If that doesn't scream that someone loves you more than their own life, I don't know what does", Finnick explained transferring you out of his hood so your face was no longer hidden in his neck. He shifted your weight for Peeta to see your tear-stained cheeks and bruised throat "Every day for weeks. Brainwashed. Tortured, with one thought left in her mind. To kill you. And she just can't bring herself to do it. That kind of love is a lot of things, but it isn't weak"

The group made it back to the camp after this, the squads eyes falling on your slumped form in Finnick's arms.

"What happened?" Boggs sighs

He came over and inspected Peeta's face and neck, his hand on his chin, tilting his face this way and that. He released him when he saw there were no marks.

"Peeta kissed her" Finnick snickers

"So... she fainted?" Leegs chuckles

"No" Peeta snaps wanting nothing more than to take you from Finnick's arms and tuck you out of sight.

"She kissed him back and everything was fine. We blink for five seconds and she's trying to kill herself" Gale sighs running a hand through his black wavy hair

"Damn Peeta, I didn't know you were that bad" Messalla teases

"She was fine! Then I don't know...something snapped. She started to hear Snow. She was yelling at him"

Peeta shoots Finnick an annoyed look before Finnick realizes he's still got you in his arms. It's making it hard for him to focus. With a teasing smile, Finnick slips to his knees and slides you inside the tent before reemerging and joining everyone by the fire.

"What did she say?" Johnson asks seriously

"She was a mutt. She was done playing in his games. Then she turned her restraints on herself" Peeta sighs rubbing his eyes tiredly

"That all?"

"No. He's being painfully obtuse with you on purpose" Gale rolls his eyes "They kissed. They talked about what happened on the train some more and she lost it after. Like some mirror piece had fallen into place and she couldn't stand her reflection or something. She was ready to die so she'd never hurt him. It was in her eyes"

"Keep a closer watch on her. She'll try it again" Cressida sighs

"To kiss Peeta?" Messalla snickered

Peeta really hoped so.

"To kill herself. If that's the decision she's made, it's likely that she'll try again to keep Peeta safe. If she's warring with the fact that she has feelings for him and that she's supposed to kill him out of an unshakable fear, then she will try it again. She's chosen death over being the cause of Peeta's" Finnick explains with a sad shake of the head

"None of us will let that happen" Boggs nods and everyone in the group nods their assertion

***

"Did you?" Haymitch asks lowly, his eyes as hard and sad as mine

I don't answer because I don't want to upset him.

"Yes" Peeta's voice is low and dark as he answers for me

"When?"

"When we were coming from underground. There was a tunnel full of mutts. They almost had Finnick and Katniss. She was almost out but she hurled herself back and went wild on them when one of them bit Finnick and pulled him back down. Managed to practically toss Finnick and Katniss up the ladder, even with her hands bound. She was climbing back up, almost out herself and then...I don't know"

His arms tighten and I can feel the shudder that goes through him. I know that day had terrified him. To see me just let go, to think he'd have to live without me. I'd never make it up to him but I was hellbent on trying.

"I was ready to die. I had saved everyone I needed to. What worth was my life anymore?" I sigh guiltily

"Tell me about it" Haymitch leans forward, handing Peeta some of the clear liquor that I gratefully take from his warm hands as he slides it into mine.

"We'd lost Boggs and few others but we were so close"

#i ship it #romance #peeta x reader #peeta mellark smut #peeta mellark x reader #peeta mellark #the hunger games peeta #peeta #peeta fanfiction #thg peeta #peeta smut #peeta hg fanfiction #smut fanfiction #hunger games fanfiction #fanfic #fanfiction #survivors remorse #part six

122 notes · View notes

lambtotheslaughterr · 10 months

Text

Awake

A Rafe Cameron Mini Series

PART SIX

[THIS STORY WILL CONTAIN THEMES OF NON-CON/DUB-CON, MENTAL-EMOTIONAL-PHYSICAL ABUSE, ETC. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK. 18+. MINORS DO NOT INTERACT]

WC: 3.7k

Dividers provided by @firefly-graphics

PART FIVE | SERIES MASTERLIST | PART SEVEN

[THIS SERIES WILL CONTAIN INACCURATE MEDICAL CONDITIONS. I HAVE CERTAINLY MADE THIS DISEASE UP & DO NOT CLAIM ANY OF IT TO BE ACCURATE. PLEASE READ AT YOUR OWN DISCRETION. 18+. MINORS DNFI]

a reminder that Rafe uses the alias Adrian in this story

You were unsure whose facial expression you should’ve been more concerned about: Lillie’s uncontained rage or Adrian’s glowered glare. The two of them stared shamelessly at the other, Lillie’s mouth agape in shock & Adrian’s nostrils flaring at her unwavering stance.

“What the fuck are you doing here?”

“Lillie!” You exclaimed, stepping between the two, “Quit. I can take care of myself.”

Lillie’s wide eyes rounded on you in minor confusion before she threw daggers back at Adrian, “What have you told her?”

It was only with her question that you suddenly remembered why she must be upset. He’s from Kildare, Lillie likely knew of him as much as your old self did.

“Everything!” You moved to stand directly in her line of sight, your hand gently grasping Adrian’s wrist behind you. “Look I know you & mom & everyfuckingone else think I can’t take care of myself but I can.”

Lillie pressed her lips together, her eyes never leaving Adrian’s. You continued before she could speak further, “You don’t get to show up at my door uninvited, unwelcome, & interrogate my guests.”

“Guests.” Lillie scoffed in disbelief, shaking her head. She crossed her arms, finally looking at you, “You let him in. You turn your mom & I down but you let this Kildare Kook inside.”

“Lil!” You stared at her, “Stop. I don’t know what your beef is with each other & frankly I don’t care. I know everything I need to know & am well enough to make my own decisions.”

Lillie looked at you for a moment longer before she stared past your shoulder at her object of anger, “Wow. You’re good.”

“I think you should leave.” Adrian’s voice sounded behind you, reminding you that he was even there & why you & Lillie were fighting in your apartment hallway.

“Fat chance.” Lil then bypassed the both of you in a second, gathering her bags & bringing them into your apartment.

“Lillie..” You sighed. You hadn’t seen Lillie like this before, not since your rebirth, & it was clear to you at this point that her determination to stay & see Adrian out should be of slight concern to you. You watched in mild annoyance as Lil sat herself on a stool at the island, crossing on leg over the other, placing her hands on her knee as if she was a mother waiting for her child who snuck out to some crawling in the dog door.

“What’d you tell her?” Lillie again focused her attention on Adrian who remained just on the other side of the threshold, still standing in the hallway, “C’mon let’s hear it.”

You looked back at him, your brows furrowing, “Let’s get this over with, Adrian, c’mon.”

“Adrian?” Lillie narrowed her eyes between the two of you. Your heart panged. Those nauseating twists in your stomach returning.

Adrian’s eyes fell you to you then. He continued to look almost expressionless, save for the cruel gleam in his eyes, “I’ll see ya later, _____.”

Then to your surprise, Adrian turned on his heel & disappeared out of sight. A small, shocked gasp escaped you. Stepping into the hallway you called after him, “Adrian!”

“_____, close the door.” Lillie appeared at your side, her hand gripping your lower arm gently to pull you back inside, “He’s not coming back.”

Dumbly, you allowed Lillie to seat you at the island as she clacked away on her phone in a frenzy, “Can’t believe he has the fucking gall.” She muttered.

Your mouth was dry as you replayed the event that just happened, an event that took all of two minutes to transpire. Now you were sitting in your apartment at 8 in the morning with Lillie who showed up out of the blue & Adrian walking into it, leaving you with thousands of questions. Questions though that you knew Lillie would have the answer to.

“Lil.” Your throat scratched as you spoke; she continued to shake her head & be on her phone, likely texting your mother.

“Lil.” You said again, this time more firmly, “What the hell just happened?”

She clicked her tongue, “That’s what you’re gonna tell me.” With that she put her phone down & reached for your hand, “And the first thing I want to know is why you’re calling him Adrian.”

You swallowed a lump at her question. Because that’s his name…right?

“He obviously told you his name is Adrian?” Lillie pushed.

“Obviously.” You replied monotonously, adjusting your seat so you could place your elbows on the counter, “But it’s not. Is it?”

“Look, I don’t know what he told you, _____, but whatever it was wasn’t the truth. I mean hell, if any of us knew he was even here no one would’ve let you stayed.”

Your head was beginning to hurt. Your eyes burned. It would’ve been a relief to blame it on the time of day & the sunlight streaming into your apartment, but the blinds had surely been drawn & it wasn’t unusual for you to still be up at this time trying to sleep on some mornings.

“Just…tell me everything, Lil. I don’t want a single detail spared.” You raised your eyes to meet hers, “Because you all clearly left a lot out.”

A flash of guilt crossed her eyes & she lowered her head, “Your parents didn’t want you to know.”

“Know what?”

Lillie sighed, looking up at you, “His name isn’t Adrian. It’s Rafe Cameron. And he’s your ex-boyfriend.”

The clock above your therapist’s head read 7:32. Your appointment had been going for only two minutes & you already wanted to jump out of your window. After Lillie told you everything earlier this morning, your mom had phoned in a panic. You didn’t answer, instead leaving Lillie to answer her call as you disappeared into your bedroom as zombie, completely shell shocked by the past life bomb that Lil was forced to drop on you.

Now there you were, almost 12 hours later sitting in your living room with Lillie, your parents, & your therapist. You wished that they could’ve waited at least a day before paying the abundant amount of cash they had laying around to fly themselves & your therapist to your city for an emergency session. All of the information that had been dropped on you was still settling. It would be for a while.

“_____, would you like to start?” Dr. Kelley sat before everyone as she gestured to you to speak first.

You had plenty you wanted to say, but no words could come out. You felt numb. You felt lied to. You were lied to. Not just by Adrian, but your family & friends. The two groups of people you should’ve been able to trust unconditionally. But they, like Adrian—or Rafe, fuck you really needed to remember that—took advantage of your long-term amnesia.

You stiffly shook your head.

“Honey, we’re sorry.” Your mother sat closest to you on the couch to your left. Her arm stretched out to place an assuring grip on your knee. It was anything but. You shifted your knee out from under her palm.

“I can’t trust anyone.” You muttered, unable to look anyone in the eyes, “Not even you, Dr. Kelley. You knew about everything because I had been going to you before the accident.”

“It isn’t the doctor’s fault, sweetheart,” Your dad began, “Your mother & I made the decision to protect you from the past.”

“Protect me?” You spit, raising your heated glare to the pair of them, “Because you guys did such a damn good job at ‘protecting me’, that creep managed to slither into my life. Real good job, dad.”

“_____.” Lillie spoke, “They’re just trying to help.”

“You don’t get to talk.” You shifted your glare to her before looking away again, your eyes on the cityscape outside.

“It’s true, _____.” Dr. Kelley joined, “Though it was your parents’ ideas I fully supported their decision. You had a chance to start clean & fresh & completely removed from a traumatic period in your life.”

You rolled your eyes in disbelief, “What about ethics? Morals? Does anyone in this room have any?” You questioned, peering over everyone quickly, “Sure doesn’t look it.”

“You were doing so well not knowing about everything, about Rafe & your really horrible relationship with him. We didn’t see the importance of reminding you of it all, especially given that you had a chance to truly move forward with your life.” Your mother pleaded but you shook your head in disagreement.

“Move forward? Are you listening to yourself? You trapped me in that godforsaken beach mansion for two years. You weren’t letting me move forward at all!” You leaned forward, staring wide eyed at her.

“You’re the one who wanted to move hundreds of miles away so badly.” She returned, her voice thick with worry.

“Oh right, because wanting to escape to the city to be out of the clutches of my rather underprotective parents who left me completely vulnerable to a psychotic ex I didn’t know I had is my fault.”

“_____!” Lillie raised her voice, “Would you just listen to them?”

“Why should I?!” You felt your heart racing, forcing you to stand up, “I’m not even sure if anything you guys are telling me now is the truth. You’ve lied to me for years, only coming clean when apparently this dangerous man comes into my life. How do I know it isn’t you guys just scheming to have me back on that stupid island?!”

“_____, sit down & breathe. Everyone, I think we should pause for a moment, it’s quite clear that _____ is overwhelmed & not open at this point in time.” You half-laughed at Dr. Kelley’s suggestion, shaking your head before stepping between the lounging furniture to head towards your bedroom.

“Take all the time you need. I was fine on my own before you all came bursting into my apartment unwelcome.”

Your parents hollered after you but you heard your therapist assure them you just needed time. Yeah, right, you thought bitterly to yourself, I need years.

In your room, you sat on your bed in the dark facing the windows, your thoughts scattered & lost. Despite your righteous feelings of anger & betrayal, your gut knew they were telling the truth. Adrian, Rafe whatever the fuck his name was, was no good. All the signs had been there, even the gut feelings, but he convinced you otherwise, you let him. You felt so normal with him, trusted him, despite all the red flags that had been raised. Plus ditching you the second his disguise was falling apart on Lillie’s arrival proved he was a coward too.

“_____.” Lillie softly spoke your name from the doorway, “Can I come in?”

You wanted to say no, you wanted to tell her to fuck off & go back to the island but you couldn’t find it in yourself to continue fighting. You were exhausting. It had been a much too long sleepless day.

Lillie took your lack of response as an ‘okay’, stepping in & gently shutting the door behind her. You felt her approach but she never neared enough to enter your peripheral. The weight on your bed shifted with her sitting on the other side.

“I know you’re angry, & you have every right to be. And I know that you feel deeply betrayed by all of us, but please, _____, that isn’t what we intended.”

You remained silent, staring absentmindedly at the building across the street: Rafe’s building.

“Rafe… he… he fucking ruined you, _____.” Lillie’s voice broke momentarily, causing your heart to shake with concern. Lillie sniffled once before continuing, this time her voice more even, “I know you hate it when we talk about who you were before but just know that anytime we have, we’re always talking about the you before Rafe Cameron came into your life. Because by the time you guys broke up there was no you. He killed your spirit, _____. You were a shell.”

A tear skipped down your cheek, much to your surprise. You sat & listened in silence as Lillie carried on, “I remember the first time he hit you. Actually, at this point I’m not even sure if it was the first time, but you had said it was & I think that’s only because I saw the bruise before you could cover it. I don’t know how long he had been hurting you at that point, but you were scared. You were so scared that you were protecting him. You lied to us, you kept everyone up for hours on end at night after having disappeared with him so he could go on his coke-filled binges. You stopped coming around, stopped smiling, stopped swimming, & you loved the ocean.”

Your vision was blurry as she spoke, your breathing coming in long inhales & exhales.

“I think you stopped swimming because you couldn’t take your clothes off. It becomes pretty obvious that something is wrong when my best friend is wearing long sleeves & yoga pants in 90 degree weather. But you wouldn’t listen to me. And eventually you stopped talking to me. Pretty sure Rafe had a hand in that, too.”

Lillie sighed. You imagined she was recalling everything that happened, everything you couldn’t remember.

“He was possessive, controlling, & abusive. The trifecta of a psycho fuck, _____. It got so bad that he hit you in front of your parents. That’s when everything came to a stop. I always knew he was shady, having seen how he acted in school but your parents were more optimistic. They knew he had a history of drug abuse but they were under the impression you were helping him deal & cope. They had no idea what you had been dealing with. And you begged me not to tell them about the bruise that I saw the one time, swearing it was one time & he apologized profusely for it. I really wanted to believe you & I’m a bad friend for letting you convince me. I should’ve said something because if I had… you wouldn’t of… you wouldn’t…”

“Lil.” You turned on your bed to face her now, your heart crumpling at the sight of her face hidden behind her hands as she cried quietly. You crawled across the bed to her, pulling her in to hug her, “It’s not your fault.”

“I know, but,” She pulled away to look at you, “I could’ve saved you if I had just said something.”

“It’s. Not. Your. Fault.” You repeated, “It was all him. And me.”

“You tried to kill yourself, _____.” Lil’s voice shook, “You swam out in the middle of a fucking storm, all because you couldn’t outrun him. He wouldn’t let you go. And now he’s followed you hundreds of miles away to slip right back in.”

You pressed your lips together as Lillie wiped her face. You didn’t know what to say, what could you say. That they were right, that you overreacted? There was no right answer. All you could do now was move forward with all this new information & hope that this time around your past wouldn’t come knocking on your door.

You watched tiredly as your dad brought up the last box into your apartment. You had moved. Again. This time much closer to home. Twenty minutes away to be exact.

Once Thanksgiving came & went & November was ending, you begrudgingly agreed with your family & therapist that you should move back to Kildare. Though a massive part of you still wanted to stay in the city, you couldn’t allow yourself to be vulnerable for Rafe again. Especially since he was nowhere to be found.

The night after everything had been revealed to you, you had tried calling his number. At the time you weren’t sure why, but you had & the number had been disconnected. Unfortunately, he was proving himself to be exactly as he was described by Lillie & your family. This didn’t stop your parents though. They hired a P.I. to investigate his whereabouts & there had been no lead. The only thing the investigation left you with was that they had indeed found a piano in his abandoned apartment that was leased under his alias Adrian.

You had discovered your piano maestro, & it left nothing but a tightly wound knot in your stomach.

“Thanks, Mr. _____.” Lillie followed behind your dad as she entered the apartment. The other aspect to your changed environment was having a roommate. No matter the potential danger you were in, you couldn’t fathom living under your parents’ roof again, so a compromise was made: Lillie & Jozef would be your new caretakers.

“I still have some strength left in this middle-aged body of mine.”

“I’ll say.” Lillie replied jovially.

“Alright, kids, I got to head out, your mom is gonna wake up soon. Are you sure you don’t want to join us for dinner tonight?” He raised his brows at you.

“For the last time, yes.” You had your back to him as you ripped the tape off a cardboard box, “I’ll come by for dinner once we’re settled.”

You looked over your shoulder at him, “Promise.”

“I’ll make sure she keeps that promise.” Lillie gleamed, “Promise.”

Your dad nodded once, a small smile on his face, “Okay, alright, but don’t give me any crap if your mom calls & complains about it.” He approached you, kissing you once on the head, “It really is good to have you home, kid. I know it’s not ideal but it’s not forever, okay?”

“Okay, dad.” You mustered a smile for him, “Love you.”

“Love you too. If you guys need any more help, my phone is on silent.”

Lil & you chuckled softly at his joke before he exited the first floor apartment.

For the next couple hours you & Lil unpacked in silence, save for Spotify playing from her phone. You had each begun in your separate bedrooms until Jozef arrived home from his job with pizza then the three of you sat on your living room floor surrounded by boxes & artwork with no frames.

“Pretty cool that your parents are paying for the first month, _____.” Jozef said around a sip of soda, “Wish my parents could pay up.”

“Your parents are dead.” Lil added exasperatedly, the whole ‘dead parents’ thing being a playful trademark of Jozef’s.

“Coulda left me a little somethin’ somethin’.”

“You blew it all in the first month.” Lil reminded him in the same tone. You smiled to yourself at their banter. It was only in very rare moments like this that you wish you could remember the past. You wish you could get in on their jokes, or remember being there for Jozef when his parents died, or how Lillie probably denied having feelings for him before they officially began dating. It was the little big things that you regretfully wondered the most about.

“Yeah, I guess.” You said, wanting to ignore how even though you were living on your own with some friends that you were still dependent on them to live. But now considering that you have a crazy ex that you can’t remember but did sleep with out on the loose, you’d take this loss over a worst one.

The three of you finished eating about fifteen minutes later, Jozef gathering the empty pizza box & paper plates to discard. As he did, Lil cast a knowing look at you. You attempted to ignore, instead picking at an imaginary hangnail on your finger, but to no luck.

“What?” You rolled your eyes, feeling her gaze.

“You good?”

“You want the easy answer or the real answer.” You asked.

“Give it to me straight.” She replied.

You shook your head, forgetting the invisible hangnail. Shrugging your shoulders you picked at the cheap carpet, “I wish I was anywhere but here.”

“Gee, thanks.” The two of you shared a smile at her sarcastic response.

“Not like that. I just, I was so ready to be on my own. For real, ya know?”

“I know you were. And I wanted it for you. But, unfortunately it’s just not the time. Not at least until the P.I. your parents hired gets a location on psychoid.”

You feel yourself smile but it’s ingenuine. You scoffed, “Why me?” It wasn’t something you intended to be spoken out loud but the words came.

Lillie shifted uncomfortably, forcing you to raise your eyes from the carpet. She glared ahead at the makeshift table Jozef put together using a cardboard box.

“Lil? You okay?”

Her eyes met yours briefly before she half laughed insincerely, “Nothing, it’s just. You said that before. Right before you… ya know.”

Though you knew she was referring to your attempt at your own life, you couldn’t recall it, & like many other parts of your previous life, you were grateful for that. But you knocked your shoulder into hers gently, “It’s different this time, okay? I promise.”

“Promise me like you promise your dad?” She joked but her laugh fell short.

“I promise you more. I promise you for real.” You raised your pinky, “Nothing like that is going to happen again.”

Lillie nodded her head a few times before she raised her own pinky, locking it with yours, “You have to come to me. Always, no matter what.”

“I know. I will.” You gave her a reassuring smile, “Her & I are not the same. I’m stronger.”

Lillie abruptly pulled you into her, hugging you tightly. You smiled into her shoulder, hugging her back, “I’ll be okay, Lil. Promise.”

It was early in the morning when your phone pinged, which mildly annoyed you considering you had only begun trying to go to sleep an hour or so ago. Expecting it to be a message from your mother checking in on how you were doing, you rolled over to silence your phone, not intending to be bothered by more of her texts. But upon your phone lighting up when you grabbed it, you saw that it was a text from an unsaved number.

Wiping the little sleep from your eyes, you unlocked your phone & slid the message open.

Thinking of you.

In that moment your bedroom began to slowly spin. Your ears felt stuffed, muffling any & all sound your apartment could make. You knew deep down who it was that was texting you. Staring dizzily at the text, you were prepared to block the number when bubbles appeared on screen followed by another ping & text.

--R

At least he wasn’t lying about his name this time.

Woah woah woah, been a minute. Been busy but here's part six! We're getting close to the finale. The next part may or may not be the final part. We shall see.

Anyway! Ya'll, talk to me, let me know what you're thinking. I am deeply deprived of your thoughts/feelings etc.

Thank you for reading.

Beau<3

Requests are currently CLOSED

Read this post on why doing more than liking a tumblr writers work is essential to our content creation.

[my love language is words of affirmation, it would make my day if you could comment your thoughts, reblog with tags, or drop an ask that shows your support. thank you for reading tumblr writers, we appreciate you]

taglist: @totallynotkaibiased @rottenstyx @fangirlwithlou @maggiecc @magnificantmermaid

if you want to be added to a tag list, comment whether you want to be tagged for a character, a series, or in general, otherwise it will be dismissed.

#dark!rafe cameron #dark!fanfiction #outer banks fanfiction #rafe cameron fanfiction #rafe cameron x reader #rafe cameron #dark!fic #non con fic #dark!outer banks #dark!rafe cameron x reader #dark!rafe #part six #awake

101 notes · View notes

abybweisse · 1 year

Text

Ch198 (p6), A telegram

Now we get to why the chapter is titled this way. Sebastian instructed Finny on how to send a telegram, if necessary. So, he's actually sneaking out not to snoop around but to find a post office or pub to relay an update to Sebastian and our earl. I suppose he's got the address for the resort hotel in Brighton?!?

Anyway, Finny doesn't get far, as Mabel and Oliver ambush him.

Mabel twists the sheet and keeps her distance, so Finny cannot reach her. He's definitely strong enough to tear up the cloth...

...but Oliver puts a knife to his neck. And apologizes for it. Sigh... Oliver. Apologizing for everything. At least it actually makes sense here! 😆

Then Theo and Artie show up.

Go along with them, Finny.

There's no time to lose.

86 notes · View notes

kingdomhate · 5 months

Text

First Glance (Part Six)

Not too long after the death of Shmi, Anakin began to ever so slowly become himself again, but only after you constantly found yourself to be around him. It was like he needed you, and that shone through in every action and every word he spoke.

"Y\N..." He breathed out softly. "Yes, Ani?" You replied with a breeze of intimacy. "I think Obi-Wan's looking for me." You chuckle. The situation in which you both were in was so much easier because you both were in it. But even now, with Anakin and you curled up under the stars and crisp air of night on Tatooine, intertwining your presences in an almost surreal way, everything seemed to be just the two of you.

Despite the feeling, it wasn't just the two of you. Anakin cared no less, because he was with you, the one who cared for him beyond anything else, the one whom stayed by his side in moments like this. He truly was grateful for you. "I think both of our masters are after us." You sigh softly, gazing up at the quiet night. "What are we to say? I mean, we did leave on short notice." Anakin glances at you, taking in everything so natural about you, studying you. "Well, I believe the truth should be at least mentioned, right?" You meet his gaze. "Sure, but what about you? You'll be in a lot of trouble for coming with me."

You let out a low scoff. "So what? It's what a friend would do, don't you think? Support and comfort their friend in need, regardless of anything else. Because you are my friend, Anakin, that's why." A point you cannot stress enough. Anakin smiles at you fondly, but then his gaze adverts to nothing as if he was in thought. "You know, you never understand how good a person is until they are faced with demons or an obstacle." Anakin looks at you once more, his eyes held a silent storm, but to you? They were Anakin, symbolizing what he went through and what he deals with.

"I am glad we are together," You glance at him once more, into those crystal-like blue eyes that you always had to stop yourself from falling into. "But, we've got to go back." He nodded, standing up and then extending his arm towards you, as you take it, you see him smile. Pulling you up, he wrapped his arm around your shoulder, pulling you close. "I'm sorry I yelled at you." You apologize softly, your head resting on his shoulder. He shakes his head vigorously. "Don't be. You were only looking out for me." You nod slowly. "But, if-" You were cut short by Anakin stopping, stepping in front of you and placing both of his hands firmly on either of your shoulders.

"Listen to me! Y\N, look at me!" Your eyes meet his reluctantly. "You were warning me, looking out for me, like a friend should. I should've listened to you! You did nothing wrong, it's not your fault!" You bite your lip, looking away, eyes nervously darting around the plentiful sand. "I- you're right." You let out a sigh and feel Anakin's grip relax. "Good. Now, let's go. We're going back to Coruscant tomorrow." He said, his voice sounding firm and non-arguable. "Okay." You follow behind him as you both go back into the small hut of his house.

Tags:

@sweetcheesecakesblog

@haydenpookiebear

(Let me know if you'd like to be added\removed from my taglist)

Departing note: Guys, I was going to post this yesterday, but since it was Thanksgiving I had no time, I apologize. However, Part seven is coming out Monday!

#star wars #fluff #anakin skywalker x reader #anakin skywalker #hope you enjoy #hayden christensen #first glance #series #part six #part seven out monday!#in a galaxy far far away

24 notes · View notes

tv-moments · 22 days

Text

Ahsoka

Season 1, “Part Six: Far, Far Away”

Director: Jennifer Getzinger

DoP: Eric Steelberg

9 notes · View notes

herrmannhalsteadproduction · 3 months

Text

Time for another A Herrmann/Halstead Production repot with awesome art by @sowrongitslottie!

This is the sixth installment of the A Herrmann/Halstead Production series: Where There's a Will

Will has finally returned home to Chicago and now it's much harder for him to avoid his little sister.

Characters: Rebecca "Bex" Herrmann (OC character), Jay Halstead, Will Halstead, Christopher Herrmann, appearances from various OneChicago folks

Read on Tumblr or ao3!

10 notes · View notes

boomerdangs · 2 years

Text

After 10 long years— part six

Sorry for the small hiatus— can’t promise it’ll get better though considering college is starting soon and this is my first year so I’ve been picking my brain and scattering around trying to at least feel somewhat prepared PFT 😭🤚 but anyways, this comic makes me feel better tho and I’m glad it makes some of y’all happy too, so I’ll finish this eventually for sure!

310 notes · View notes

fire-for-you · 8 months

Text

5 times gabby didn't realize kelly and matt were dating (and 1 time she did) - FINAL PART

|-<3-|

pairing - m. casey x k. severide

rating - teen and up (unrequited love, implied sexual content, hurt/comfort, minor violence, kidnapping, happy ending)

word count - 2,745

summary - for part six: andddd the final chapter. what could possibly be the next adventure for this duo? is Gabby still clueless or will she finally come around?

a/n: we do a little 'napping. time to pick on matt!

|-<3-|

"Hey, sweetheart." Kelly purrs, flopping on the couch and throwing an arm around his boyfriend.

Matt slowly looks up from his paperwork; his eyebrows furrowed together in a blatant show of judgment. "Alright, what is happening. The last time you called me that, you had accidentally bought a car."

Kelly smiles a little wider. "Do you want to go out for dinner tonight?"

The Captain sets his files down beside him and shifts his body to face Kelly. "Yeah, could be fun. Should we go to Molly's or maybe that one trivia bar? I could call Brett-"

"No, let's go somewhere new, just us." The other starts to play with the hair at the base of Matt's neck. "Maybe a fancy, romantic dinner? Think about it, the last few months have been consumed by my injury. When's the last time we had fun?"

Matt pauses. "Well, two weeks ago, we had some wine, and I think you were pretty happy about it." He glances down casually and squeezes the hand suddenly on the brunette's thigh.

Kelly hums, remembering. "Mmm, yeah. I would still like to go out. What do you think?" He pulls Matt onto his lap, linking their fingers together.

"Sure, sounds fun. Where do you wanna go, exactly?"

"Oh, no, it's going to be a surprise. Gotta keep you guessing."

Matt smirks, pressing closer. "Okay. Then you better be ready for heart-racing, bed-breaking, ecstasy-type- fun." He delivered each hyphenated phrase with a sultry breath and an inch forward.

Kelly just looked at him. "Jesus, Matt. I don't know if we'll make it that far. You are really sexy when you wanna be, did you know that?"

The blonde laughed, pulling his partner in for a suave kiss.

Matt slipped off the taller's lap, grabbing his files to place them on the kitchen island.

"I'm gonna change quick. After that, I have to pick up something from a friend, and then I'll come back to pick you up. 'Kay? Dress nice." Kelly spoke, already walking towards their bedroom.

Matt nodded his acknowledgment before burying himself into the paperwork again.

A bell dinged as Kelly entered the jewelry store, glancing around for his favorite attendant. "Ah, Mr. Severide. I was wondering when you were going to come back. Have you finally decided?"

He sighed in relief. "Kenny. Yes, I have. The light silver band, did you hold it for me?"

"Against my better judgment, yes. I just like you, Mr. Severide."

Severide grinned. "Kenny, stop. I'm practically an engaged man."

Kenny smiled back. "Let me get that ring for you, sir."

Hours later, after a fancy, romantic dinner, with expensive champagne and delicious food, Kelly and Matt are walking down a well-lit path close to the loft. The blonde is cuddling his partner's arm, their hands locked at Kelly's side.

"Mmm, I missed this," Matt says, tightening his grip slightly.

"Missed what?"

"Just us. It's been crazy these past few months with your injury and work. It felt like any time we wanted to be alone, there was this third person in the room, making it awkward."

"Let me guess, the sprained ankle? I couldn't walk for days." Kelly smirked down at Matt.

"Ugh, whatever."

Kelly stopped in the middle of a clearing, a quiet road a few feet away. He put a knuckle under Matt's chin, tilting it a little. "No, I know what you mean. I felt the same way. But we got over it, right? We're here now-"

They heard screeching up the street, like tires leaving marks on the asphalt. Matt left Kelly's grasp and walked forward, more into the light of a street lamp. The noise continued to get closer. Suddenly, the vehicle came into sight, a white van.

Matt shrugged and turned away from the street. When it came to an aggressive halt, two men slammed open the side door to step down from it.

"Matt!" Kelly immediately started rushing forward, but the men in black hoodies and ski masks already had their hands on Matt, pulling him into the van.

The blonde started to fight against them, but the taller pulled out a cloth and put it over his face. His eyes started drooping as the door closed behind them.

"Go, go!" The vehicle took off, barrelling down the street as Kelly ran behind it.

"Matt!!"

"I'm sorry, what?" Boden asked.

"Matt got kidnapped! Right in front of me! I didn't even get to fight the dogs that took him." Severide started to break down. "He's gone, he's gone. My whole world is gone." Wet streaks began to run down his face.

Boden sat him down on a nearby bench in Voight's office. "Alright, Kelly. Deep breaths. Why don't you start over?"

Severide sniffed. "I wanted to propose tonight." He looked up with watery eyes. "We went out to this fancy restaurant and had a romantic dinner. It was perfect. And then we were walking in the park near our apartment-" A fresh wave of tears cut the man off as he sobbed quietly.

"Severide, we can't find Casey unless you give us all the details." Voight reminded him.

Jay offered him a tissue box before leaning against the desk.

Severide recovered somewhat and continued. "We heard this screeching up the street, and then this white van came into view." He paused, closing his eyes. "And they took him. Two guys, average build. Ski masks and everything. They even had chloroform. I, um, got a partial license plate." He pulled out a scrap of paper and handed it to Jay. It was four symbols long. 5B7I

"Thank you, Severide."

Voight spoke up. "Was there anything unusual about them - tattoos, did they speak, stuff like that?"

"I was a little busy watching my boyfriend get kidnapped." Severide snapped.

"Just trying to get it while it's fresh in your mind," Jay said gently before laying a hand on Voight's forearm, shooting him a disapproving look. The Seargent mouthed a 'What' back.

"No, I told you everything I noticed."

"Okay, thank you again, Severide. This should be good information to get started with. Chief Boden, why don't you take him for a cup of coffee?"

Boden sighed. "Yeah, come on, Kelly." He put a hand on his lieutenant's shoulder, ready to pick him up off the bench.

"No."

"Kelly?" Boden questioned.

"I'm not going anywhere while my Matt is still out there. You're gonna let me help you, or I'm gonna help myself." Severide stared Voight in the eye as he stood.

The Sergeant sighed. "Look. I don't want to step on your toes, but this isn't exactly your area of expertise."

"I know, but. Just- let me help. Because if I don't find Matt, if I don't get him back-" Severide started to choke up again. "My life will be over. I won't-"

Voight didn't say anything for a few seconds. "Fine."

The last thing Casey remembers was seeing Kelly's face as he ran towards the Captain. He shook awake with the moment still imprinted on the whites of his eyes and was greeted by a dim room. He was sitting on a metal chair facing a blacked-out window. Pulling on his wrists made ropes tighten against Casey's arms. He groaned in frustration when the same happened with his legs.

"Hello?" He called out. "You're not scaring me! I like being tied up!" Which was untrue, but they didn't need to know that.

A man with unkempt hair and a 5'clock shadow emerged from the semi-darkness. "So, you're Kelly's new boyfriend."

Casey's eyes narrowed slightly. "I'm sorry, who are you?"

"Eric Sutton. Kelly never mentioned me?" Eric's sinister smile drooped slightly.

"Was he supposed to?"

"We dated for almost two years. I imagine it would have come up." Casey analyzed the man, noticing the imprint of a switchblade in his left pocket. "My hair used to be lighter, if that helps."

"Nothing comes to mind."

Eric sighs, disappointed. "Well, it doesn't matter. You will have to remember me after this."

"What are you gonna- " Casey is cut off by a powerful punch to his jaw. He tastes copper as another fist is driven into his stomach. Tears spring to the blonde's eyes as the chair tips to the right and falls. Eric starts kicking him in the gut, barely missing his crotch.

"See how Kelly likes you now." The man says before Casey blacks out.

"Okay, first, who would kidnap Matt and why? Does he have any enemies who might want him dead?" Voight asked Severide.

"Well, it's Matt; he has a tendency to rub people the wrong way." Severide took a drink of coffee, accenting the shaking in his hands. "He thought he had a stalker, though. Said a couple of times earlier this week he would see an unmarked white van outside before it drove away."

Jay's ears perked up. "Yeah, Matt called me and asked me to look into that. I hadn't gotten anywhere."

Voight nodded solemnly. "Did we get a hit on the license plate yet?" He asked his partner.

A small ding answered the Seargent's question. "Registered to a Simon Towers. Two priors: attempted kidnapping and aggravated assault. Ooo, and he had a partner for both of them: James Towers." Jay looked at the man standing over him.

"Brothers." He scoffed.

"Address is in West Englewood."

"Let's go."

"Alright, Boden, Severide, stay in the car; we'll be right back." The brunette said, glancing in the rearview mirror as he and Voight exited the vehicle.

The officers pulled their guns and stood on opposite sides of the doorway.

"On my count, one, two, three."

Jay kicked open the front door, immediately scanning the first room with his gun raised. "Clear." He called. Voight entered then, moving forward into what looked like a kitchen. They cleared the entire first floor and were making their way up the stairs when they heard a thump. On the right side of the house, garbage cans were kicked over as whoever fell was trying to flee. Jay made it out a side door and gave chase.

"Hey!" He shouted. Severide, much closer to the running man, flung open his door, whacking one of the brothers flat on his ass. Jay just got over to the felon as Voight exited the house, leading a man in handcuffs.

Casey spits out more blood, watching Eric take his phone from his pocket. "What do you want? Money?"

Eric laughs. "No, honey, I just want to see Kelly suffer. Should we call him? What's your password?"

"I think you broke my arm." The Captain says.

"Oh, don't be such a baby." Eric faces the phone to Casey's face. It unlocks with a quiet click. "Wow, didn't expect that to work. Alright, Kelly, Kelly." He scrolls through the other's contact list, pressing the video call button when he finds Kelly.

Kelly blinks twice when he sees Casey's profile picture pop up on his phone.

"Who's that?" Boden asks.

"It's Casey; he's trying to video call me."

"I'm gonna get Voight."

The Chief comes back with Voight and Jay before Severide answers the phone. The Seargent instructs Severide to face away from the inside of the station and not to talk like anyone else is there.

"Matt, baby, are you okay?" Severide says, practically hysterical.

"Hi, Kelly." Eric appears on the screen, grinning wide.

"Eric? What the hell? Where is Matt?" Severide starts to ball one of his fists.

"Oh, he's right here, sweetheart." Eric turns the phone, snuggling up against Casey so the firefighter can see them both. "Remember when you broke up with me, and I said if you ever find another boyfriend, I'll kill him?"

Casey's eyes widen as he struggles against the tape across his mouth. "I really don't."

"Well, guess what I'm going to do." He pulls out his switchblade and playfully drags it across the blonde's throat before the call ends.

"No!" Severide exclaims, putting his head in his hands.

Voight storms back to the interrogation room and slams his fists on the table. "Where is your boss?!" He yells. The brothers - with fear in their eyes - start to talk quickly.

He re-enters the large room and grabs hold of Severide's shoulder, dragging him to the car as the others follow. Jay calls for backup on the drive as the sirens blare out. Soon enough, they are pulling up to an abandoned building.

Voight instructs the other officers to go around the back as they surround the property. He looks to Severide, who is leaning against the car. "Stay back, okay?"

Positioning himself on the side of the doorway, the man holds up his radio. "On my count, one, two, three." The Sergeant enters the building with the others and raises his gun. Severide is a few steps behind him. Within minutes, after maneuvering many empty rooms, the pair stumbles upon a large room.

Eric stands over Casey with his knife raised. "Eric Sutton!" Jay calls. "Put the knife down!"

"Now, why would I do that?" He brings his arm down just as a shot rings out. Casey falls with Eric, landing in his pooling blood. Still strapped to the chair, he can't move away from the liquid soaking into the blonde's clothes. The wound on his neck from the other's knife starts to leak as Kelly runs up to Matt. Matt's eyes slip closed as he feels Kelly's fingers on his face.

"Well, Matt. We have to stop meeting like this." Doctor Halstead said, fixing Matt's IV drip as he slowly opened his eyes.

Matt blinked blurrily, looking around the room for Kelly. "Where's-"

"Severide? He went out for some ice. I'm sure he'll be back soon." Doctor Halstead smiled.

"How long have I been here?" Matt asked, sitting up on the bed.

"Few hours. Broken arm and a few cuts and bruises. Plus a black eye. Severide was really worried about you."

"Thank you, Doctor." He left, giving Matt a little wave.

Eventually, Kelly came back and almost dropped his ice cup as he saw the Captain's weak smile. "Matt! You're awake!"

"Hey, baby."

Kelly rushed forward and dragged him into a long kiss. He pulled back reluctantly, pressing their foreheads together. "I thought I lost you."

"I'm here."

"I thought I was never gonna see you again; I thought I was never going to kiss you again; I thought I lost you." Tears sprung from Kelly's eyes.

"I'm here, Kelly. I'm not going anywhere." Matt reassured him, eyes boring into his own, green on green. "Kiss me."

The brunette did as Matt pulled him onto the bed, and they laid together, sharing soft kisses.

Minutes later, the firehouse got there - minus Gabby and Sylvie, giving Matt hugs and clutching their hearts in relief.

As the crews got caught up in their talking, Severide cleared his throat. "Uh, Matt. I have something to ask, and I think this is the best time, in front of the house. In front of our family." Kelly glanced at Boden, and he nodded.

Matt tilted his head slightly.

Gabby and Sylvie finally snuck in as everyone's eyes were on Kelly and Matt.

The lieutenant took his partner's hand. "We've had a lot of scary experiences lately, and I just can't stand not having my forever on your finger anymore."

"Kelly. What are you doing?" Matt asked, his voice breaking.

Kelly laughed slightly, pulling out a box from his jacket pocket. Everyone gasped.

"What's happening?" Gabby whispered to her friend. Sylvie shushed her.

Severide popped the ring box open. "Matthew Casey, you are the air I breathe, the food I eat, the water I drink. Yours are the lips I kiss; yours is the body I worship." The house groaned at that. Kelly rolled his eyes before continuing. "Yours are the eyes I adore. Matt, you are everything to me. Will you-"

"Yes, yes, Kelly Severide, yes! I'll marry the hell out of you." Kelly grinned and roughly kissed his new fiance.

"When did this become a thing?" Gabby asked Sylvie, pulling her back from the group flocking the couple.

"Severide and Casey have been dating for months. How did you not know this? They told everyone at once."

"I must not have been there. I- are you serious?"

"Yes? They just got engaged, do you need any more proof?" Sylvie sassed, going up to congratulate her friends.

"I love you," Kelly sweetly whispered before kissing his partner again.

"I know," Matt whispered back.

you can also read this story here

|-<3-|

masterlist & other such things

|-<3-|

Chicago Fire masterlist

|-<3-|

| 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 |

#kelly severide #matt casey #kelly severide x matt casey #matt casey x kelly severide #sevasey #gabby dawson #chicago fire #part six #final part #fire-for-you

22 notes · View notes

cato616 · 10 months

Text

NEGOTIATING OVER US (part six)

notee: am i exaggerating for doing so many parts? cuz they're not that long lol i just want to post them as fast as I can my badd 😣

summary: you're trying to figure out how to fix things with roman, one thing for sure, you don't want to become big red hulk at him again, although, it does feel you got swallowed by sadness, and not because of roman specifically.

content/warning: a combination of angst and fluff, emotional crisis, coping with the moral, every day struggles?

Full sunshine once again. You feel it hitting your face; you slowly begin to open your eyes although is hard knowing that the sun is blocking your sight. You lift yourself up and stayed sitting on top of your bed.

You didn't wake up the whole night, you slept through the pain you felt from yesterday. You looked around you; it looked a bit messy. You felt quite numb, the sunshine tho, the sunshine was good for you, really sunny day fortunately.

You decided to get out of bed, you couldn't stay there any longer. Every step you made from your morning routine, decided to do them very slowly. Put on some nice music to lift your spirit up, while brushing your teeth, have breakfast and then finally changing clothes.

You leave your place, at last, and bravely now going to work. You take the subway, full of people today; sadly though, you start to think again.

i hurt him

it wasn't that bad, or was it

hope he's okay

am i allowed to care about him? why wouldn't I?

i feel like they can hear my thoughts- 'You have arrived to the next stop, please mind the gap'

You walk out of the subway station and head to the coffee shop.

"Hey!" You see someone making signals from a distance, and it's Liza trying to waive you from a far, from the café. You finally get closer to her right outside the shop. "Hey, shit y/n what happened? you're never late, thank god you give spares keys, if not, i couldn't have open up the café." Liza seemed like agitated, kinda worried. "yeah sorry Liza i didn't give a heads up" You were so sad that you kept on looking down like a sad puppy. "hey, so tell me, what happened..." Liza asked a bit distressed. "Something... weird, and hard to explain i-" you paused for a second, wasn't sure if you should tell the whole thing or not, didn't want an opinion, just wanted someone to tell you that you were not crazy and it was all gonna be okay; still, you didn't know if Liza was going to give you the answer you wanted or not so, "never mind, but yes, something came up that made me feel very down today, can't think completely straight." you decided to not tell the whole truth. "hey hun, I'm sure it will pass, it will go away, if you want me to promise, I'll promise you." Liza gives a warm hearted response. "long story short, i hate... society? I hate the world, i can't escape my mind." However you do speak part of your truth about it out loud to her. "amen to that" she chuckles a bit, and now you with here, by finally smiling to each other out of comfort. "but seriously, I'm here for you" You shrug then smile at her while nodding. "i know liza, thanks. Now let's get back to work." You added by then smirking.

Working at your café is the only thing that it could keep your mind distracted for a while. But i guess, it didn't last that long. "yeah sure we have that cake would you like that with-" While you were taking the order, you hear your little doorbell making the sound that someone came in, so you turn your head to take a glimpse. "hey... um, i don't know." Roman showed up to your café, and you were taken by surprise, you didn't know how to react, if either happy or angry; on the other hand, roman seemed really tensed. You looked over him, words can't come out of your mouth, you slightly turn to your costumers, "of course, your order will come up now." You smile at them and then shifting your eyes back to roman, you try to avoid him, and honestly you had work to do, so you kept on doing your job; deep down, you wanted to talk to him. "i know you don't want to see me right now but-" i did, i did want to see you, you think, but your face was still neutral, keep on taking orders and such, like if he's not there. "-but i was wondering if we could, talk." After he said that, you turned your whole body to him, didn't know what face to put, what was he going to interpret based on it. "We can" You speak to him finally, still very serious. "after my shift" you clarify. He doesn't says anything, he just nods.

Your shift has ended now, and roman has been waiting all this long. You both sit at a table there on a corner, to get a bit of more privacy. You didn't start to talk, he took the initiative.

"So... um" you sensed his voice was breaking for a split second, and couldn't help but to frown a little bit. oh roman. He then clears his voice and stars to talk again, couldn't look at you that long tho. "So, i know that last night, was not, right... i made a mistake, and honestly, that kind of situation happened to me, before um... yeah basically there's something wrong with me" He chuckles. "Dad said I'm disgusting, frankly, everyone thinks I'm disgusting, and now you do as well, and i get it...." he takes a big breath, while looking down at the coffee he ordered. "if I'm being honest, i don't know why I'm like that, it's not like i do it purposely, or maybe i do, i don't know" He didn't say anything more after that; you were completely unsettled by his speech, in shock almost, you felt really bad, your eyes were practically wide open, as well as your mouth, trying to found the right words, but he suddenly cuts off and fired up again.

"And i think you were probably wondering why am I telling you this... The people that i know that as far as I know care about me, is my family, but other than that, ugh, bad reputation i guess... but you, you said once that you didn't hate me, and maybe i got, too excited by that i believe" Still can't make any eye contact. "And it's been a while since I heard someone saying that they didn't want me to be burned alive" he chuckles once again. "And possibly, while you, not being part of anything corporate as i know it, made me feel at ease, so i think that's why I get carried away with you... like now, taking about fucking... feelings" he smirks. "yeah, i do strangely like you, and not!... not like last night, nothing like that." He looks at your eyes. "i like like you..." he grins at the situation and laugh trying not to making awkward. "Jesus i feel like im in middle fucking school" he smiles, but anxious to hear your response.

You're now realizing how pretty his eyes get when the some sunshine would get on his face, you were mesmerized. However, no words were coming out of your mouth, you didn't believe this kind of confessionary; it was too much for you, you didn't know why, you hate the fact you were like this. You could see he was getting a bit heartbroken, you didn't want to hurt him.

Something like this happened before.

Your friend, best friend, the one you had your same dreams, like the café; the one you shared everything with... everything, everything, everything... everything was too much at times, it didn't do well with her.

So now you're stuck on a trauma, can't tell everything

You were moveless. blank mind, although there was some words that wanted to get out, i like you too. But it didn't. He didn't look that happy, hidden with a fake smile, he tried tho, but it looked like he would tear up again.

"Okay, fair, but you know, i don't give up easily, that's... daddy trauma, trying to make him proud and blah blah blah, but i am ironically not joking" he laughs, by then smacking his lips to make his proposal. "i want to... invite you, to a party my brother Connor's doing to celebrate, i don't know something s-stupid about politics but, I'm hoping i will see you there."

You stared at him, in complete silence. At of nowhere he stretched out his hand to you, remembering that time you awkwardly tried to stretched out his, and there he was, waiting for your response. "... please" he whispered. And so you you stretched your hand; your fingers touched each other skins, and you wanted this moment to last forever. He takes his hands back while standing up and makes you zone back in to reality.

"i will be waiting for you, at the party" He always pauses to wait for a response but you don't give what he wants still. He nods understanding your position; you were feeling strained. He didn't leave just yet, he was still standing next to you, and you were feeling shameful looking down at the table, then you see, his hand, his fingers slightly touching the wood, near you; it's like a non-verbal and non-physical way to say goodbye if he doesn't see you later that day at the party.

He wanted to hug you at most, and so did you. He takes his hand back again, he exhales through his noise quite loudly. "uuh, bye... yeah." He finally leaves; you inhale a big chunk of air and then exhale through your mouth, slowly. What a rollercoaster. But now, you know what to do, you're definitely going to that party.

I don't hate you roman, I'll be there, i promise.

continue.

#roman roy #roman roy x you #roman roy x reader #roman roy fic #succession #succession fic #fem reader #angst #light angst #fluff #fluffy #part six #fanfic

30 notes · View notes