#part three is everyone gets therapy and we all have a good laugh

[faeriekit]

Health and Hybrids (XIX)👽👻💚

[I can't remember the original prompt posters  for the life of me but here's a mashup between a cryptid!Danny, presumed-alien!Danny, dp x dc, and the prompt made the one body horror meat grinder fic.]

PART ONE is here PART TWO is here PART THREE is here PART FOUR is here and PART FIVE is here PART SIX is here and PART SEVEN is here PART EIGHT is here PART NINE is here PART TEN is here PART ELEVEN is here PART TWELVE is here PART THIRTEEN is here PART FOURTEEN is here PART FIFTEEN is here PART SIXTEEN is here PART SEVENTEEN is here PART EIGHTEEN is here...nineteen...oy vey.

💚 Ao3 Is here for all parts (now featuring mediocre mouseover translations, only available on a computer)

Where we last left off... THE BART RETURNS! The earth rejoices! 🥳🎉 Physical therapy can be fun, even if it usually isn't!

Trigger warnings for this story:  body horror | gore | post-dissection fic | dehumanization (probably) |  my nonexistent attempts at following DC canon. On with the show.

💚👻👽👻💚

Danny learns a few more words with practice.

Foda is simple. If Danny is hungry, he can ask for foda. It sounds exactly like food, and when he asks, they feed him.

…Or they up his IV. Which. Danny’s tongue might still feel sore and nasty, but the doctors and nurses and millions of minders don’t seem that mad when he sticks his tongue out at them. Sometimes they even laugh.

They don’t even sound all that mean.

It takes Danny a good chunk of waking time for him to realize that he…probably is hooked up to something he doesn’t want to think about, since all the efforts of lifting and moving him haven’t resulted in a single bathroom trip since he woke up here.

Firstly: horrible.

Secondly: his legs are super, absolutely, positively immobilized, and if someone doesn’t give him enough medication quickly enough after it wears off, Danny is very aware that something is deeply wrong with them.

So. Uh. That’s…gross.

He learns bealo just as quickly. He isn’t sure what bealo means, per se, but when he says it, they up his medication until Danny can pretend he doesn’t have any legs again.

God niht is goodnight, unless Danny is feeling snippy, and then it’s just niht.

…The one lady who minds him always says the whole thing, though. Even when Danny’s mean. Like the one time he threw his rocket at someone.

Or the time he started ignoring everyone when they tried to touch him.

…Or the one time he tried to freeze his IV bag, and put everyone on alert because if he’d been human, that would have seriously hurt him.

“Sorry,” Danny’d whispered, even if it wouldn’t mean anything to her.

She’d patted his hand and meant it. Danny’d had to dry his eyes with his wrist. “Eall es wel.”

Anyway.

Danny hates being in the freaking bed every hour of every day. So when his “sitting up” exercises turn into “hey, let’s try the wheelchair” practice, Danny gets so excited-slash-nervous that he kind of feels like he’s going to throw up all the liquids he’s been injected with.

None of the regular people try to lift him. Instead the lady does it herself, scooping Danny up in very strong arms, the golden cuffs on her wrists weirdly warm on Danny’s skin. When Danny’s settled, his legs sticking out real weird and his back kind of sore, he’s…out of bed.

He’s. He’s not in bed anymore.

And. Sure. It’s temporary, but it’s not the bed. Danny can wriggle, and he can sort of palm the wheels underneath him with the heels of his shaky hands, and he can see so much more of himself than he has in ages and ages.

For one. Both of his legs are in casts. That’s. Not good. He can’t feel it right now, but the sight of fully encased legs…

Well. If he can transform that won’t be a problem. If. If he has to escape. But it is…it’s super scary. He mostly remembers being captured, but the…the other people had been focusing more on his thoracic cavity and his face and head.

…So why are his legs so bad? Did something else happen?

(It did, didn’t it?)

(…Didn’t it??)

His hands shake, but there’s something to all that grip training, or else Danny wouldn’t be able to paw at his neckline to look down his own shirt. Or, well, his cloth nightie, anyway.

It’s good that he looks, since, well…his chest is glowing a solid green.

Whatever should probably be scar tissue. Uh. It…isn’t. There’re gouges down his chest and a crater where his heart should be that probably should be healing over, considering, you know, he’s not freaking dead at this exact second (mostly??), but. Instead of, like, healed flesh, or, say, his insides, there’s a transparent green…jelly… holding him together.

He can see how the green bounces with his heart beat.

...Danny drops the neckline of his gown. His breath comes in choking bursts, eyes pressed into his eye sockets—he feels sick.

He is sick. He has been sick.

The humans are keeping him here because he’s a freak of nature and he’s broken from head to toe and the Guys in White carved his flesh out of his body and opened him up like a can of cranberry sauce.

He presses his hands to his chest, to his stomach, just trying to breathe for long enough that he doesn’t throw up his oatmeal and occasional juice and IV nutrition onto the pristine floor of his sickroom. The people around him all make sympathetic noises that don’t help because he doesn’t know what they mean.

And then he feels something weird.

Not all the sensation in his fingers are back. It’s easier for him to feel impediments than it is to feel textures—something that blocks him from moving, rather than anything sensory-specific. He can usually tell when he touches fabric, because when he moves too far, it pulls tight around his hand. He can tell when he’s on something solid when his hand fails to go through it.

There is something solid sticking out of him.

Danny’s heartbeat quickens. It’s not. It’s. There’s something in him.

And it’s not—it’s so solid. When Danny brushes his hands against it, he can feel his skin and his flesh move with it, trying not to dislodge the thing embedded in him. It pulls at his skin. He doesn’t know what it is.

His fingers tremble as he tries to brush over the object through his gown, trying to figure out its shape from faulty touch alone. It’s like waking up to find himself jammed with needles all over again.

People are talking around them. Danny doesn’t try to listen in. He’s scared. He’s so scared. Something’s happened to him, and he didn’t even notice.

Some of it is—hard. There’s a crinkling sound when he moves. Danny manages to pull his gown neckline back again to catch something of a glimpse, and all he sees is plastic.

He doesn’t know what it is.

He doesn’t know who to ask. He can’t understand anyone and he doesn’t know if he trusts them.

They put something in him. There’s something embedded in him.

He thinks he’s going to cry.

Something touches his arm—Danny flinches. His core tightens with stress as he puts a metaphorical hand on the button, ready to run and hide at any notice.

It’s the lady. He knows her.

No, he doesn’t. He doesn’t know her at all. He can’t talk to her in any way that matters. She’s not a doctor. He doesn’t know why she’s here, or why she’s keeping him here.

She’s nice. She fed him. But is that all it takes to trick him? To make him compliant? Pliable?

She stops touching him when he gets scared, her eyes worried. She kneels—closer than Danny would like, probably, but she keeps her hands to herself. Danny’s heart races faster, out of order, starting and stopping and starting again like a bad engine.

“Eow eart wel?” she asks from his left arm rest, a common question, so softly. Danny doesn’t know what it means. “Eall es wel. Ænlic eow, ænlic me. Bruce bræð wið me?”

She takes a big, deep, breath. Her hand rises slightly over her chest, following an exaggerated movement. Don’t panic. Breathe. Breathe like me. One, two, three.

Danny’s breaths are more choked. More panicked.

But when she breathes, he breathes with her—even with every stutter in between.

“Hwæt es woh[O3] ?” the lady asks, so gently it’s almost a whisper. Her pointer finger hovers over his body, but doesn’t touch—and eventually, Danny figures out she probably wants to know where he’s hurting.

But he’s not hurting. He’s scared. There’s something inside him, and he isn’t sure what it is. He presses the heel of his hand to the object. He feels something rigid refuse to bend inside his flesh.

There’s something of recognition in the woman’s face. “Inne cwic tima,” she says, more certain of answers outside the room, and darts away,

Danny wants to bounce his bound leg. He feels awful when anyone is in the room with him, considering how little of them he knows, but, somehow, it’s so much worse when he’s actually alone.

When she comes back, there’s a second person who walks through the double doors with her, in blue scrubs with ducks on them. They wave to Danny.

Danny…blinks. He feels numb. It’s kind of a problem.

They take it in stride, though; in their hands is a blank board and a chunky marker. The cap comes off, the new person scribbles for a minute or so, and then turns the board around so that Danny can see.

It’s a…person. A rudimentary outline person, sure, with some visible bones and organs to fill in the person-shaped outline. Danny can recognize most of them from anatomy class, although those memories are more…personal, now. A little more painful.

The person taps on the board. The person points to Danny.

Danny frowns.

The person turns the board back around and makes some Pew, Pew, Pew! sounds with their mouth, occasionally opening and closing their hand over the board to match the noise. There’s some more scribbling. When the board turns back around, there’s a violent smudge of marker on top of the drawn person’s drawn intestines.

The person takes their covered pinky finger and erases a little neat circle of marker in the intestines, mostly favoring one side. They draw a little arrow from the hole to the general outside-of-the-person blank area. Then another circle, with a thicker circle inside.

Danny recognizes the object jutting out of him. Oh. This is how he got it.

The person—probably a doctor, Danny guesses, or the surgeon who did this to him—do these people even need credentials, actually?—hands the board over to the lady. They hold out ten outstretched fingers, marker under their arm, and make a show of counting every one of the outstretched fingers with the opposite hand. Then they take the board back.

And then, when they write on the board, Danny can actually understand what they say.

Or, well, it’s numbers! The numbers are the same as his—the line and a circle is clearly meant to be a ten, and the little x is a multiplication symbol— they draw a 10, as clearly and a brightly as it could be against a stark white board, and add a little x 7, probably to indicate a week; the result is ten suns times seven, or seventy suns.

Danny feels his heart bounce in his chest. Danny would bet a whole lot of money that the number is meant to be seventy days. There is an end point. It’s not that Danny is free to be subjected to random anatomical whims—there’s a goal here. This was purposeful.

The little circle-within a circle gets erased. The hole is scribbled through as if it was never there, and the person makes a weaving gesture with the marker that Danny is certain is meant to be sewing.

Tears prick at his eyes. The lady gets close by him again, but Danny lets her. His hands aren’t good enough for wiping tears the way he wants to, yet. Help and company are good.

She gives him a tissue from Danny's bedside table. He takes it with a whisper of a grip.

“Seventy?” Danny rasps, tearful. Hopeful. Terrified of hope. He practically jams the tissue into his eye sockets.

The lady’s eyes go wide. “Seventy,” she repeats, marveling.

It’s enough. Nothing is perfect, but it’s enough. And if Danny's allowed to spend so long in front of the space window that he falls asleep in his wheelchair, well. It's not like he was in charge of where they went.

#*hip checks through the door* hey losers! Guess who uses Arabic numbers!! Two earths!! #also if ANYONE is shitty about stoma bags or ostomy bags on this fic or in this chat I'm going to fight you. Lots of people have them. #they're usually a temporary procedure and even if they're not they're pretty normal and a lot of people have them. I knew at least one #like haha this is a body horror fic but ostomy bags are a REAL THING that people HAVE as part of their medical journey DO NOT be rude!! #So what we know of his injuries now: messed up legs. Messed up guts. Messed up chest. Is there more...? Who can say. 👀 #health and hybrids #dp x dc #dcu crossover #tw gore #tw medical #tw body horror #dpxdc #dcxdp #danny phantom #incarceration to elopement to healthcare pipeline #His healing is speeding up and his language is getting better! When can we get a Diana POV?? <- me to me

[stxrvel]

the outbreak pt. 2

summary: you've kinda been into therapy and turns out it worked?

pairing: bucky barnes x f!reader

words: +4k

warnings: nothing really, i think. this is actually kinda fluffly. i was in a good mood.

note: i didn't planned on publishing the second part so soon, but i had a lot of free time and a mind running wild. still didn't liked that much how this chapter turned out tho. hoping i could make another part to see what happened to my girl wanda! see you guys in the next fic, love yall. the feedback is always appreciated! thank u for reading.

(if a part 3 never appears, just know this is an open ending)

part 1, extra: 1.5

“So, how've you been doing these past few weeks?”

“You don't have to make small talk to me, Natasha. I enjoy the silence.”

“I ask genuinely. I barely even see you in the halls of the Complex. We only really talk on missions and we've had three since that happened.”

“Don't worry about me.”

“I just want to know how you're doing.”

You turned your head to look at the woman sitting next to you. The uncomfortable leather chair you two were in did nothing to appease the constant headache you'd been having these past few days. Natasha watched you with an arched eyebrow and her hands in her lap. You knew she was right, everyone was always right when it came to you. Apparently Bucky was right when he said everyone knew but you, and that spectrum extended to everyone always seemed to know how you were doing if only by the movement of your eyelids.

That's why you had begun to avoid people.

You spent more time in your room and in the Complex gym, doing research assignments for Fury that involved leaving the building, the three missions with Natasha (fully mandatory and against your will) and sometimes in the lab with Bruce when he needed someone to hold his canisters full of chemical liquids.

Fury and Bruce were the only people you tolerated lately. No funny looks, no awkward questions, no innuendo; just what they needed and goodbye.

But, that time, you did have to go out with Natasha. You weren't given the option to come on your own and it was understandable. A little bit. Even though you were trying to make amends for what you had done, not only on the mission a few months ago but also for what you had done to yourself for years, you didn't know that recovery meant you had to have a watcher on you at all times.

And what's worse, that watchman came with a bird.

“I'm fine, Nat,” you replied to her liking finally.

A short laugh from across the room caught your attention.

“Tell that to the tantrum you threw Fury so we wouldn't come with you.”

You gave Clint Barton a hard look, almost lying on the other longer couch as if he were admiring the earth from a cloud. He had one arm over his eyes which he had raised slightly to give you a mocking look, and one leg bent so that his foot was on the couch.

“I didn't throw a tantrum.”

“Fury, please, I know how to take care of myself. I don't need two bodyguards behind me all day. I'm fully capable of getting there and back on my own.”

Clint's poor imitation of your voice caused you an undercurrent of irritation, but you easily made the decision not to let it come out against him. It turns out that sometimes you could just shut up instead of exploding against others, crazy, right?

“First, I don't talk like that.”

“That's right. Lousy imitation, Clint,” Natasha had your back.

“Second, I only asked him once to let me come alone. I didn't beg him like a fool.”

“Sam told me otherwise,” Clint countered and you frowned. You felt the smile on his mouth.

“Sam's an idiot.”

“Sam's on Bucky's side,” Natasha mused.

And then, an awkward silence.

That was something you hated and still couldn't get used to. When people would say Bucky's name around you, the atmosphere would get strangely tense and suddenly everyone would go silent. It felt strange at first, but when Wanda did it you understood what was going on.

“Stop doing that,” you grumbled with a grimace. “I'm not fucking marble. I'm not going to crack from hearing his name.”

“We didn't say anything,” Natasha spoke again, her innocent little dove expression getting on your nerves.

Count to ten, Y/N, don't forget…

“You guys always go silent after you say his name like he's going to spontaneously explode. We're adults, you know? There are things to get over.”

“Wow,” you heard Clint mutter.

“Shut up, bird.”

Clint made a negative, game-like sound when you gave an incorrect answer.

“Three points off. Natasha and Clint are in the lead,” the man snorted as he rose from his position on the couch. You couldn't do more than give him another look, waiting for him to evaporate into thin air.

Natasha stirred next to you looking around at her surroundings, the dark colors of the room almost absorbing all the natural light coming through the few windows that were in the building.

“You haven't talked to him yet?”

“No.”

“Do you plan to?”

“I don't know. Maybe not.”

“Why?” Clint inquired, suddenly more interested in the subject.

“Because I don't feel like I give a s-”

Clint made the sound again.

“Two points off.”

“Clint,” Natasha reproached him with her tone of voice and the aforementioned only flashed her a smile. “It's been several weeks since you were last together. And you've had a lot of improvement-”

“That's debatable.”

“… don't you feel ready to talk to him?” Natasha questioned, completely ignoring Clint's intrusion into the conversation, again.

“I really don't know,” you admitted. “She told me I'm on the right track too, but just the thought of seeing him again after all those things he said… that I said…”

You sighed. Your gaze focused on the dark floor, a bluish-green hidden behind a black carpet with red, the most horrible carpet you had ever seen in your life.

“It scares me. I don't think I can do it.”

The woman let out an affirmative sound from her throat and the room became silent once again.

You almost let your mind begin to wander into memories, conjuring up the times when you felt like you were on top of the world when you were really about to hit rock bottom. But you quickly focused on where you were and what you were going to do there.

You were going to pick up Wanda. You had wanted to do it alone because it had been several weeks since you had last seen her. The last thing you told her was that you were going on another mission with Bucky and that you hoped it wouldn't end as badly as the argument you had that half the building heard. After that, she left.

She had made the decision to come and talk to Stephen Strange and had told you a few days before you left on what would be your last (official) field mission. She left the Complex the day after you left and all you had heard from her since then was that she was fine, that Strange hadn't locked her in a dungeon and that she was learning many things about her magic, especially how to control it to have power in things like her dreams. You still didn't know what those lucid dreams she had been having for a while had been due to, but judging from the letter you had received yesterday where she asked you to go to the Sanctum Sanctorum, it looked like she had gotten some kind of response.

When you told Fury what you were going to do, he didn't hesitate for a second to say that he would ask the Wonder Duo to accompany you. Clearly you balked, not as many times as Sam and Clint implied, but you didn't expose any more complaints to the Director's authoritative voice.

So, there you three were. Waiting for the wizards to appear from somewhere as you waited in one of the most horribly decorated rooms you'd ever seen.

“Sorry for the delay.”

The new male voice that echoed in the room startled you. You cringed and turned your head every which way until you came upon Strange's figure standing at the entrance to the room, not far from where you three were standing. Natasha and Clint remained unperturbed and you suppressed your desire to complain about the intrusion. You were the only one who hadn't heard him coming, apparently.

“Y/N!” you heard Wanda's voice.

You shot up from the uncomfortable couch the moment you saw her emerge from behind Strange's body. Quickly, you met halfway and melted into a big hug. You shifted from side to side trying to keep your strength and tears held back because of how much you had missed her.

“You look great!” was what she said to you the moment you parted.

“Don't lie to her, Wanda,” Clint exclaimed, and shortly you heard Natasha hiss in his direction.

“I've had better days.”

“I can't believe the day is here already! You have to tell me everything. What happened on the mission? What happened with Bucky?”

Again, the unpleasant silence.

“Why are you two making those faces?”

Wanda was watching the Wonder Duo right behind you and you couldn't help but let out a big exhale.

You turned to look at the only person who really gave a damn about your life.

“Thanks for everything, Strange.”

The man nodded in your direction. “It was my pleasure. Hopefully everything will be better from now on.”

Wanda waved goodbye to him as you turned around and pointed the other two people in the room toward the exit.

The other goodbyes were short and you were soon finding yourselves exiting through one of the portals opened by Strange, where you met the entrance to the Complex head on.

“Ah, magic. It makes life so much simpler,” Clint commented before starting to walk in the direction of the common room.

Natasha had the decency to bid you farewell and followed the bird's path at a tight pace.

“I thought they were going to join us,” Wanda mused, watching their figures walk away.

“No, they were just my nannies.”

“Nannies?” you saw her frown.

You watched the grimace on her face and almost have the urge to ask Sam to come give her a rundown of what had happened in the last few weeks since that last mission, but you mentally pulled back and offered a small smile to the confused woman in front of you.

“We have a lot to talk about.”

---

“Have you eaten today?”

The haze that clouded your mind slowly disappeared, your head barely registering the movements your body made to stay conscious. The soles of your shoes were too hard for your liking and you'd had to go sit down while you waited for Wanda to return. You didn't know how long it had been since that, but it seemed to be long enough for Steve Rogers to approach the cafeteria table where you were sitting with a tray containing the day's food.

“You look like you could use some of this.”

The blond gently pushed the tray until it was on your side of the table, and the smell of beef stew didn't take long to reach your lungs. It smelled good, to be honest. You looked down at the food and moved your hands to grab the silverware.

“Thank you.”

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I'm just waiting for Wanda. She went to talk to Fury.”

“I saw her coming in. She said she had a lot of things to tell.”

“She told me exactly the same thing.”

“And did you get to talk about anything before she left?”

You glanced at the fork in your left hand before looking up and meeting Steve's unconcerned face. You had learned very quickly that it wasn't too hard to get to know the captain in your position as opposed to how unreachable he looked to the rest of the population. He was a rough and tough man, but he would do things like bring lunch to a female shipmate who had a blank stare and sit down and try to chat with her.

He was good. Steve was good.

But he wasn't sneaky.

“If you want to know the verdict, talk to Strange. He's a close friend of Tony's.”

The man only sighed, his shoulders slumping in time with his breathing as if he'd been in alert mode all day.

“I didn't mean to sound so…. opportunistic.”

You rolled your eyes.

“You didn't sound opportunistic, Steve, you're just bad at trying to hide your curiosity,” you expressed with a small smile, but the man didn't look convinced by your words. “She's fine. She looks fine. She sounds fine. Whatever they had done, talked about or practiced, it surely paid off. I don't think you have anything to worry about.”

“She looked really scared before she left. You didn't see her. She asked me several times to communicate with you because she didn't know if it was a good idea to do that anymore.”

“She asked you that?”

“Yes. But the mission was very delicate, we couldn't risk it.”

You nodded in your direction, your gaze wandering back over the food.

“I just want her to be okay,” Steve mumbled and you almost missed the way his face contracted. His blue eyes found yours. “She's been through too much throughout her life and now this. It's like a joke of the universe.”

“She'll be fine. She has us. If she needs strength, she'll have plenty.”

Steve smiled, and then you took your first bite of beef stew.

You grimaced.

The blond frowned.

“Was the smell better than the taste, again?”

You nodded with your mouth full. Your hands went to the glass of water in the corner of the tray and you didn't hesitate to down the meat with all the liquid in it. You were almost never lucky enough to taste good lunches in that cafeteria.

“FRIDAY,” you heard Steve say.

“Yes, Captain.”

“Can you order a 12-inch tuna Subway on whole wheat bread with all the vegetables except the bell peppers and olives, please.”

“Right away, Captain.”

“That wasn't necessary,” you turned to the man as his gaze focused on yours.

“You can't go without eating.”

“I would have been able to place the order.”

“Mmm, really?”

“Of course! Do you think I waste the opportunity to spend Tony's money every chance I get? Even, I would have ordered more.”

“Oh, seriously?” Steve had a mischievous grin on his face and you furrowed your brow at his strange expression. “FRIDAY, make it three.”

You half-opened your lips.

“Sure thing, Captain.”

“Are you out of your mind?”

“What's with the attitude? It's Tony's money, isn't it?”

You hadn't heard that kind of boldness from Steve very often, and when it happened it was a complete event to witness. The man was a stickler, everyone knew him that way. He didn't understand the word rest and most of his free moments were only used to keep reconsidering attack strategies. Steve wasn't one to let loose and go with the flow very often, but when he did it was something to be enjoyed.

“You know he doesn't mind, right?”

And the moment was over.

“No? I thought he still hated me from lying to him about the book.”

“Uhm…” Steve fumbled over his words and you were amused at the way his features scrunched up. “He doesn't hate you. He was just angry. Besides, it's been a long time, he probably doesn't even remember that.”

“I think he's going to remember that until he dies.”

“Steve.”

You froze in place.

Abort mission. Abort mission. 911. Mayday, mayday, mayday.

Steve looked over your shoulder and then back up at you, your eyes on the embroidery of his brown jacket. You tried to keep your expression composed and sent him a smile of assurance that even you couldn't believe. But you couldn't do anything else. You couldn't break down at that moment. Besides, he would most likely ask the blonde to come with him and Steve would go. You wouldn't really have to deal with anything.

“He's really coming,” you heard Steve mutter in your direction.

Your face scrunched up in confusion, and you watched his expression of poorly disguised panic. You had told Steve only once, days ago, that you weren't ready to talk to Bucky at all. And, apparently, he had made it his problem too.

“Are you busy?”

You heard Bucky so close that a shiver ran through your body. It had been weeks since you'd last heard his voice. On that mission.

“No, I was just talking to-”

“Captain.”

But what was this, the all-call-Steve-at-once festival?

You sank back in your seat when you recognized the Director's voice. If he was there, it meant Wanda must be coming with him, and judging by the contractions in Steve's face, going from confused to incredulous to dumbfounded to flushed, your friend was most likely waving him out of there.

“A word, please,” Fury spoke again, and Steve barely let a second pass before he sprung out of his chair like a spring. He gave you a look and you could almost see the apology written in his eyes.

“Buck, I'm sorry- I mean, wait here for me.”

“What?”

“I won't be late, I promise.”

“I can wait for you in the living room…”

“No,” Steve contradicted him sharply. You caught a glimpse of his stiff expression out of the corner of your eye. “Wait for me here, can you?”

You didn't hear an answer, but you guessed it was positive when you saw Steve's face a little more relaxed. He looked back at you and barely gave you a nod before he started walking toward the exit. You turned in your seat to see him, and barely caught a glimpse of Wanda's triumphant face before she hid behind the back of a naive Fury as she saw your gaze on hers.

That woman really had no idea…

The chair Steve was occupying shifted and Bucky appeared in your field of vision. He was looking anywhere in the cafeteria before he was looking at you. And well, that was good, it gave you time to analyze what you had missed in those weeks without any communication.

He clearly looked calmer. Even though you two were forcibly put in an uncomfortable situation, he didn't seem to mind too much. He looked a little tense, you could barely make out a twitch in his jaw, but other than that he was pretty relaxed.

You didn't know how to interpret that.

The last time you had thought about seeing Bucky again (which was that very morning when Natasha brought it up) you thought that one of you would run away without even a second's notice. It seemed that the only one too scared about that reunion was you. Surely Bucky hadn't thought about it for a single moment since the last time you were face to face.

And his hair. He had cut his hair much shorter than last time. Its ends were directed to the ceiling and you could no longer mess it up if you ran your hands through it. It would rearrange itself in seconds. His eyes were still the same, clear and bright as the clear sky, his expression just as stoic and unperturbed, his body leaning slightly to one side with his hands clasped in his lap. Almost everything about him remained the same except for his hair.

And except he couldn't look you in the eye.

You looked down where the tray with the stew was still intact. You didn't have anything else to distract you with so you grabbed a vegetable and popped it in your mouth.

Turning your head away, you missed Bucky's gaze on your face analyzing the grimace of disgust you were trying to hide.

You swallowed hard and grabbed the water bottle so that it almost slipped through your hands. It was empty.

You almost threw up on yourself.

“Are you okay?”

You met his gaze and froze. His wary eyes were on your face.

“Yeah.”

“Doesn't look like that food is good.”

“Because it isn't.”

You shook your head and pushed the tray away from your personal space once and for all.

“Why don't you order something else?”

“Steve already ordered me something.”

“Oh.”

And silence.

You usually enjoyed the quiet moments, when no sound flooded the surroundings other than your own breathing and the ramblings in your head. You could really enjoy your solitude and the quiet it brought with it. But this silence didn't come with solitude, it came with tension, strain, uncertainty.

You didn't know if you felt you should say something or if you felt you should run away. If you stayed you didn't know what to say to him and if you left you didn't know under what excuse.

Bucky's light eyes met yours again after wandering his gaze for a while around the room.

“Wanda's back,” was what he said.

You nodded.

“We came with her this morning.”

“Yes, Steve told me.”

“We don't have to do this, you know.”

His neutral expression turned chaotic for a moment. Then he went back to being unflappable as if nothing.

“We don't have to do what?”

“This. Talk like it's nothing. It's awkward.”

“Ah. You find it awkward?”

You furrowed your brow at his genuine curiosity. For a moment you thought he was being sarcastic, but his eyes detailed your expression intently, waiting for an answer.

“Don't you?”

“Why should I?”

“Can you stop answering with questions, please.”

Bucky averted his gaze. He repeatedly ran his hands over his jeans.

“I'm sorry. If it makes you uncomfortable I'll keep quiet.”

“Still, you don't answer my question.”

“It's not awkward for me,” he finally said, his slightly tilted head pointed in your direction. “It's just normal small talk. Between two people.”

You hummed a nod and your head moved in sync.

“It's easier for you to pretend nothing happened.”

Bucky shook his head, attentive. He narrowed his eyes and it didn't go unnoticed the way you tensed your shoulders as the words left your mouth.

“I never said that.”

“It's just what I can glimpse.”

“What you think you see is not true. I'm not trying to feign insanity.”

“Oh, yeah. I forgot you're an expert at knowing what I think,” the words left you before you could process them and give them the proper filter, and you were sure Bucky had noticed the way your composure wavered for barely a second. If he had, he chose to ignore it.

You saw him twist his lips and lower his gaze, as if he suddenly felt distressed even though he wasn't the one who should be worried about something like that.

“You're angry.”

“And why would I be, according to you?”

“Maybe you were expecting a different reaction from me. You don't like what I'm giving you.”

You let out a laugh. “I never thought arrogant was your type.”

Bucky took in your gesture and mimicked it. Seeing a smile on his face after so long brought back images you thought you had sent far out into the ocean of your mind. Maybe you didn't feel your heart racing as it had so many times before, but you definitely felt something different from the fear and dismay that normally accompanied his memory. Even though you didn't want to accept it, you couldn't help but stretch a little towards that new sensation.

“I was joking. I have no idea why you're mad.”

The small smile on your face disappeared, and you allowed your head to wander down the paths of self-healing and self-improvement. Perhaps it was situations like these that your therapist always referred to. Stealthy confrontations that you usually used to avoid like rain, were the perfect moments to divulge a kind of self-reflection and improvement. To, perhaps, make known the emotions and thoughts you used to suppress and keep to yourself, the reason you had ended up that way to begin with. That was supposed to be what people normally did, to talk about their feelings…

So you just let it out.

“I'm not angry. I think I feel… embarrassed.”

“Embarrassed about what?” Bucky cocked his head to one side, his eyes scrutinizing your face as if trying to figure out if you were being serious or not.

“For confronting you.”

“Me?”

“Yes, Bucky. Here's to having you face me and confirming once again that you were right,” you rolled your eyes and took the moment to look anywhere in the cafeteria but into the blue eyes that wouldn't leave yours. “You were always right, I guess. No one else stood up to me like you did and I still lied to you looking you in the eye, wouldn't you feel the same way?”

The movement he made as he shrugged his shoulders drew your gaze, and met you with such a frightening familiarity that you felt old memories and feelings creeping up from the back of your mind to return to the surface. His calm gaze and tension-free body was what you had always been used to, and at that moment it was what you were seeing.

You didn't know how much you missed him until you saw it again.

“It's possible, yes.”

“The point is, knowing that doesn't make it any less complicated. In fact, it's a little harder to cope with. Being aware of the embarrassment… makes you more embarrassed.”

Bucky let out a short laugh. Your gaze didn't leave the way his corners turned up and then how his shoulders moved and his chest contracted in sync with that laugh. You hadn't noticed until that moment the change in the atmosphere around the two of you, much lighter and cozier, not at all hostile and toxic compared to the last few times you were together after the argument.

Mmm, maybe you were liking all that stuff about therapy. To be honest, up until that point you had discerned very few results, although some were quite important. Like, for example, you were able to keep your mind clear of self-destructive thoughts for longer, or that you could look at your past actions and reflect on them, determining clearly what things you were doing wrong and why it was wrong to do them. And there were many, many of them. Not just with the people around you, but more so with yourself.

However, in that moment, having Bucky in front of you and having been able to not only carry on a conversation for more than a minute with him, but also having been able to admit to him how you had felt and show true regret for what happened, you were able to understand that the change was much bigger than you had initially sized it up to be.

“It's serious. It complicates the process for me. That's why I didn't want to see you.”

He nodded without wiping the smile off his face. You could sense the understanding emanating through his gaze and, by the way he straightened his body, you knew he was going to give voice to the thoughts going through his head. Bucky usually kept his opinion of people to himself, he wasn't one to go around highlighting qualities in others unless he was asked or it was necessary for him to say so. Because of this, you could learn to tell when he was going to keep quiet about it and when he was willing to let it all out.

“Still, if it makes you feel any better, I can see you've come too far. Six months ago you wouldn't have said that to my face. I probably would have heard it from Sam who heard it from Clint when he eavesdropped on some conversation of yours with Wanda.”

You were really glad about what he just said, but…. what the fuck?

“Clint eavesdrops on our conversations?”

Bucky went blank. His features froze and the tension emanating from his body enveloped you both.

“Well… I only heard it once. Clint had said he'd upgraded the device for his hearing and was hearing three times as many things as he should. Among those things, he could hear you talking to Wanda in the next room.”

“I don't believe it.”

“There's nothing to tell you for sure that he did it again.”

“And how long ago was that?”

“Mmm, two years, I think.”

“Did he ever say anything to you?”

Bucky didn't answer for a few seconds, his gaze seemed lost in yours, with a solidity and strength too forceful for your tolerance. You suspected the answer was positive, but received the opposite.

“He only told me what had happened. He never told me if he understood anything he heard.”

“Uhm, you're good at getting out of tight spots.”

He gave you another one of those smiles that felt like home.

“I've had years to practice.”

The silence that followed his words was much more welcoming than before. You seemed to be able to move around the masses of air so freely that all the tension in your body could disappear in a gentle breeze.

“I'm sorry this was uncomfortable for you, but it was good to see you. And hearing you.”

“It wasn't that uncomfortable.”

“You're squeezing your legs under the table.”

You looked down, surprised, though you shouldn't be. Bucky had always been good at reading your body language. It was almost like it was his way of communicating. And yes, you were.

“You rocked from side to side. Your hands never stopped clenching in your lap. You were uncomfortable.”

“Still, I don't regret what I said.”

“I know.”

“Good.”

“Good.”

You had a duel of glances and you longed for that comfort you had been missing for so long. During those almost seven months of barely seeing him and not speaking to him, you had learned to appreciate the little moments in life. And you were surprised to think that before you thought you were living your life as you were doing at that moment, the present, but you were not. You learned the cruel difference between existing and living, and it wasn't hard for you to deduce why you had had such complicated moments in your life some time before.

You had never lived anything. You went through your life as a tourist and many times you weren't even in the picture. You tried so hard and constantly to convince yourself otherwise every day that it ended up tiring you out emotionally, and in the process taking everything out on the one person who tried to reach out to help you.

“Buck!” Steve's exclamation echoed throughout the cafeteria, just on time.

You turned to see him in the doorway, his raised hand gesturing for the man in front of you to follow him. Bucky stood up, but didn't leave before turning a glance at you with a warm smile worthy of summer.

“I hope to keep hearing from you more often.”

“We'll see if you're worth it.”

#bucky fanfic #james barnes #james bucky barnes #james buchanan barnes #bucky fic #bucky imagine #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes #bucky x reader #winter soldier #bucky barnes angst #bucky barnes x fluff #bucky barnes x female reader #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes x you #avengers #bucky fluff #bucky x you #marvel #the outbreak

[strangersteddierthings]

No Regrets - Part Three

This one got longer than I expected, so it's only about Spring Break. We return to the apocalypse next part.

Part One🦇 Part Two🦇Part Three🦇Part Four🦇Part Five🦇Part Six

"-eve?"

Waking up again is disorienting. His head aches like the beginning of a migraine. There was something he was thinking about but it's fading quickly. A conversation in a boathouse...? That's not right. The boathouse was empty. The police had beat them there.

"Steve?"

No. No conversation in a boathouse. But there was a phone call. He knows he remembers that. Joyce had called last night. Her and Murray sharing a phone between them as Steve- Oh! Right. Steve told them he knew about Hopper in Russia.

"You have to go, though. Hopper is alive and waiting. And there's a demogorgon. Demodogs, too. You have to kill them all. Any connection to the Upside Down left alive helps Vecna. It's like having a tether to here makes him stronger."

"I can't just abandon El," Joyce sounds conflicted, and Steve gets it. He does.

"You aren't. You're going to be giving her back her dad. She's got Jonathan and Will and Mike. Argyle, too, if he wants to be there. Just. Just get them on the road and back here as soon as you can. If they don't leave soon than Brenner will-"

"Brenner? What do you mean Brenner? He's dead. Right? He's supposed to be dead."

"Yeah, well, he's not. He- I don't know the full details, just. I was just given an overview because, y'know, other shit was going down. But he makes El relive a lot of traumatic shit from her past and yeah, it gets her back her powers, but she's just a kid. She's just a kid."

"Her abilities, they aren't gone?" It's Murray who asks.

"No. She's just traumatized, in a different way. It was... it was Jonathan who said this, actually, to me. I mean, he hasn't said it yet, and if everything goes the way I want, he won't need to say it ever, but that's- sorry, that's not important. He said he thinks El blocked her abilities because she lost Hopper. An internal block, you know? 'Cause she couldn't save him with them, so what was the point of having them?"

"And you think bringing Hopper back will free her of that block?" Murray asks.

Steve can't help it. He laughs. "Hell no. I think years of therapy might, but having her dad will help. There's no way it hurts, right? Also, uh, you're the parent here, Joyce, so I'll let you decide what to tell her, but the big, awful thing that Brenner made her relive? It was a massacre. At the lab, when she was there. Another guy, another number, killed a bunch of the people there. It was El who saved the remainder. She stopped him from killing anyone else by opening the first gate to the Upside Down. She tossed him in and closed it. She's not a monster. Oh, that part you have to tell her. She's not a monster."

"Steve!"

There's more to the phone call, Steve knows he knows that but there's yelling and it's distracting.

"Steve!!"

"What?" Steve snaps, both with his shout and back into himself. He's sitting at the picnic in Forest Hills. Everyone is looking at him with varying degrees of concern.

"You okay?" Robin asks, "we've been trying to get your attention for a while now."

"What? Yeah, sorry," Steve says, distracted, standing up and looking around. Eddie's trailer is right there, and Wayne's truck is parked in front. He knows Wayne. Knew Wayne? He's in charge of the gardens at home base. A real green thumb, not that you can tell by looking at the trailer now. "You think that with Fred's death, they'll stop suspecting Eddie?"

"What? We don't know that they suspect Eddie," Dustin is quick to say, "I know he didn't do it, and so do you so-"

"Yeah, I know! I do know that, but Chrissy died in his home and then he ran. Of course, he's a suspect. But he was in jail last night. So. They can't suspect him still, right?"

Nancy purses her lips, giving Steve a look he knows isn't good. "Well, it will depend on when they apprehended Eddie, which we don't even know they did. How do you know he was in jail last night?"

"Good point. I don't, not for sure. But Wayne might," Steve says as he starts walking away. He can hear everyone at the picnic table shouting for him and scrambling to follow. Steve picks up speed, dashing up the steps and pounding on the door before anyone catches up.

"Steve, what are you doing," Max hisses, because she's the fastest and therefore the closest.

"I just gotta-"

"Can I help you?" Wayne Munson greets, voice even. Steve watches as his eyes sweep the group, pausing on Nancy before coming back to Steve.

"Hopefully. Uh, I'm a friend of- well, no that's a lie. I don't want to lie to you. I'm not Eddie's friend, but I want to be, and Dustin here is, so we just wanted to know if you could tell us if Eddie's okay?" Steve says. "You already talked to Nancy yesterday, but she didn't know that we, like, knew him. Have you heard from Eddie?"

Wayne eyes him with suspicion, which is fair, "I ain't heard from him."

"Please," Steve says, because he's got to try one more time. Either Wayne doesn't know for real, or he's lying because he doesn't trust Steve. He's not sure he'll be able to tell which is which, but he has to ask again, "I swear that we just want to help Eddie. Whatever happened to Chrissy wasn't his fault, I know that. I just need. I need to know he's not- not out there, alone and scared. Please."

Wayne stares him down and Steve refuses to look away. Wayne's eyes flick away from him to the single police cruiser still stationed nearby, then back. "Get in here."

He doesn't need told twice. Wayne retreats into the trailer and Steve follows. Immediately his eyes jump to where the gate will form. Currently it just looks like water damage on the ceiling, but Steve knows. No gate yet, but it'll be there tomorrow. Probably fully formed by the time Vecna tries to take Max.

Robin, the last one in, shuts the door behind her gently.

"I told her yesterday that Eddie didn't do this," Wayne nods his head towards Nancy but he never takes his eyes off Steve. "Didn't stop them from arresting him."

"Thank God," Steve breaths out, which is the wrong thing to say, given how quickly Wayne's face morphs to anger, so he quickly adds, "shit, I mean, that means, he was in police custody when they found another victim last night, right? That'll prove he's innocent."

Wayne doesn't respond right away. Instead, he takes his time looking at each and every one of them, lingering on Nancy before settling on Max. "You live 'cross the way, don't ya?"

Max looks surprised to be recognized. "Yeah."

"Did you see anything?"

"I saw..." she trails off, brows furrowing as she thinks. She looks from Wayne to Steve. He doesn't know what she sees on his face, but he watches as she steels herself, a decidion made, before looking back to Wayne and saying, "What I saw is whatever I'll need to have seen to help Eddie."

"You'd lie to the police for Eddie?"

Max and Wayne have a silent conversation following the question, judging by their stare down and raising and following brow lines. When Max does speak, she says, "I've lied to police for worse people."

"Huh," is all Wayne says as he settles back against the counter behind him.

"Thank you," Steve says, even as his mind starts to calculate. They'll probably keep him the full 48 hours, since there isn't evidence enough to charge him. Right? There isn't really any evidence. Except, perhaps, what Eddie might have told them. Shit. Would Eddie say anything? "Can you let me know when they release him? Whatever happened, whatever he saw, probably freaked him out. I don't want him to feel alone. I mean, we don't."

Dustin is looking at him now like he's grown a second head but Wayne. Wayne is looking at him like he's made a realization. Drawn some unknown conclusion that he must approve of because he nods. "Sure, son."

"You got pen and paper? I'll write down my number."

The silence from his friends is deafening and does not bode well for Steve. He just knows they're going to bombard him as soon as they leave the trailer.

Which is exactly what happens. They wait until they're back by their cars before starting in, though.

"Steve, what the fuck was that?" Dustin says.

"How did you know he got arrested?" Max demands.

"Steve, you are acting so strange right now," Robin says, worry painted across her face.

"Explain," is all Nancy says, crossing her arms.

Should he? Does he even know what's happening? No. Not really. He's got memories of a future that's bleak and dark and terrible and he doesn't want it to come true. Are they even memories? Did those events even happen? He doesn't know for sure. All he does know if he wants to do everything in his power to prevent it from happening though. He doesn't want to have regrets about.... about something.

"We don't win," he says. "We don't win this one. Or, we didn't? We might now. Things are different this time."

"What?" Robin asks.

Steve ignores the question, giving instead more of the information he knows, "Hopper's alive. Joyce and Murray are on their way to Russia to save him."

"WHAT?" he's not sure who asked. Maybe all of them.

"And El is- I don't know. On her way, I hope. But she won't have her powers when she gets here. Or maybe she will? If she believes she's not a monster and really is the hero."

"Steve, you are not making any sense!"

"I know!" Steve shouts and drops into a squat. "I know! I'm not the- the figure it out guy, or the plans guy, or whatever. I'm just the guy who knows things he shouldn't, and I can't tell if it's because I actually lived it, or if I was just given knowledge about it somehow. I know the Upside Down has a red storm that never ends, more democreatures that just gorgons or dogs, and that Vecna slash Henry slash One is a goddamn monster who opens a giant hell gate and causes the apocalypse."

"Whoa, whoa," Dustin sooths, and when Steve looks up, Dustin's got both hands up and approaching like Steve's a wild animal. He kind of feels like one right now. "Slow down and explain."

There's a lot Steve could say. Should say. Steve is kind and soft, even in the face of the end of the world, but he's also learning that he's a little ruthless. Not heartless, but enough that he can see where they are, where they need to be, and how to get there in the easiest way possible. His eyes flick to Max. "Chrissy and Fred. They were both seeing the guidance counselor. You've seen them both there, right Max?"

"I- yeah. Yeah, I have."

"And Nancy, you've got a hunch, right? You need to go to the library to check it out?"

She narrows her eyes at him but nods.

"Okay. So, uh, let's use that as proof. You and Robin go check out your hunch, and I'll stick with Dustin and Max. Take Max to see Ms. Kelley and see if she'll tell Max anything that connects them?"

"You already know what we'll find, don't you?" Nancy asks, and Steve shrugs. "You're right. I won't believe you. Not without this proof. So, we'll go, Robin and me. And when we meet up, I expect you to tell me what we learned."

Max is completely silent the entire drive, an exact opposite of Dustin who shoots off so many questions in a row that Steve can barely remember the first by the time he's onto the next. Not that it would matter, because Dustin doesn't pause between any of his questions or comments to let Steve answer anyway.

Max launches herself from car almost as soon as Steve pulls up to the curb with a loudly groaned, "finally" before she slams the door and bounds across the street.

"Steve! Are you even listening to me!?" Dustin has finally lost steam or ran out of breath or something.

"Are you done yelling at me?" Steve retorts.

Dustin lets out a really big sigh then says, "For now. I just- Let's start with this. How do you know that Hopper's alive?"

"Joyce and Murray confirmed it when I talked to them on the phone. They're supposed to be getting El and crew heading back this way while they go to rescue him, but I don't really know how that's going."

Dustin squints at him. "I thought you could see the future now."

"No. I saw the future, so like, lived it or something. And it's like... You watch Back to the Future yet?"

"Yes."

"Okay, so like, the part where his family starts to vanish from the picture? Because he made his mom want to bang him-?"

"That is a disgusting oversimplification of the plotline, Steve."

"-it's like that. Except I want to change the events because we definitely end up in the bad timeline."

"Okay. Say I believe you. You said we don't win this time. Explain that."

Steve sighs. "Can that wait for like, everyone? Explain it all at once?"

"What made it so bad you have to alter the course of all of human existence?" Dustin demands.

"The Upside Down breaks through, man," Steve says, "Like, toxic air and no more sunlight or blue skies kinda bad. Full on, end of the world apocalypse type shit."

"Shit. We, like, lose lose," Dustin says in a small voice Steve doesn't think he's ever heard Dustin use before he huffs and falls out of view with a click and the sound of squeaking leather. Steve watches as Dustin reclines his seat back so he can stare up at the ceiling of the BMW.

"Yeah," Steve says before they fall into silence until Max sprints back, screaming for him to drive before she's even got the door closed behind her and certainly isn't wearing her seatbelt yet.

They all converge at the school, and Steve tells them what Nancy and Robin learned at the library, then Max puts together the thread that connected Chrissy and Fred, and he has to watch, again, as she accepts she's going to die. She even looks to him, as if he'll confirm that with a shake of his head or a nod.

He just blinks back at her until she looks away.

They want answers he isn't ready to give. Not until tomorrow, after Vecna tries to take Max. Given how today has gone, tomorrow shouldn't be much of a change. Nancy and Robin will still go the Pennhurst, and Steve will take Max everywhere she wants to go, but this time he'll be ready. It's not too late, so the little music store down from Melvald's will still be open. Hopefully they have Kate Bush handy. He'll make sure Lucas has a backup cassette player and-

"Wait. Lucas should be told. He should be here. Why isn't he..." Steve trails off, trying to remember why Lucas would be here. He went to party with the basketball team and- and what? There's something he's missing. Something changed. His head hurts and the white noise is back, and it hits him so suddenly he sways and stumbles backwards until he hits a wall.

"Steve!" Robin gasps his name and rushes to hold him up. Dustin is at his other side just as quick.

"I'm ok," Steve says with eyes closed. He can't explain it, but he's changed something. He knows he has. Lucas is with them tomorrow, he remembers that, and there's this feeling that he should be here now. That he should have shown up at the school, but the reason eludes him. Slips from his grasp like he's trying to hold water. "It's- there was something that was supposed to happen. Something that made Lucas find us here at the school. I remember that. I- I almost hit him with a lamp. But he's not here. He didn't- something's changed. Whatever happened before didn't happen again."

"What, like, you changed the past?" Dustin asks.

The laugh Steve lets out is manic, even to his own ears. "I don't know! I can't remember! It's there, the why, but I can't reach it. It's faded, man, like the picture. It's faded."

"Okay, I think it's time we get some rest," Nancy says. "Dustin, you'll radio Lucas tonight and fill him in. Tell him Steve or I will pick him up tomorrow morning to join us. Let's go everyone, before someone does show up."

Nancy takes Dustin and Max, and Robin sticks with Steve. She doesn't even question his detour to the music store, just helps him find the Kate Bush tape. Doesn't even raise an eyebrow when he buys two cassette players, five blank tapes, and a tape recorder.

"Who is the mix tape for?" Robin asks him only once they're at Steve's house and settled in for the night in front of the fancy stereo in Steve's living room. Robin's called her parents already and told them she was staying with a friend, and they had leftovers for dinner from.

"Just in case. Now, shh," Steve says, and once Robin has properly quieted, he pressed record on the tape recorder and play on the stereo. He's already found the track he wants, so it's just a matter of waiting the song out, pausing the tape recorder quickly, then rewinding the tape. He goes too far back, so his finger just hovers over the record button until Running Up That Hill comes back on, and he repeats the process. Over and over again, until the hour long tape is filled with nothing but one song.

Robin watches him do it in complete silence. She doesn't move or shuffle until after he's paused the recording, stilling again once he hits record. He knows she doesn't understand why, but also that she doesn't need to understand. He knows that she knows he'll explain as soon as he's able.

He's just afraid to say too much right now. He can remember tomorrow; the Pennhurst plan, how it is supposed to go based on what remembers Nancy and Robin saying. Max will bully him into driving her around, and they'll end up at Billy's grave. He'll be ready this time, he already knows the answers they're seeking but he doesn't want to risk too much.

He has a plan. And it'll work. It has too.

Because he can't remember what happens after. Patrick dies, and there's... water? A lake? But why is Patrick at a lake in the dark? He isn't, is the thing. It's like there are two memories overlapping in Steve's mind and he doesn't know which is real. Or if either of them are.

There's a memory of... of Eddie? Eddie talking about Patrick floating but there's also a memory of hearing it on the news, Patrick found dead in his room, murdered the same way as Chrissy and Fred with no sign of forced entry in his house. Both memories feel real, but Steve doesn't know, can't tell, which is.

Robin and he falls sleep wrapped around each other that night.

-

@i-less-than-three-you @nburkhardt @afewproblems @skepsiss @apomaro-mellow @eddie-munsons-lunchbox @sirsnacksalot @livelifeliketheresnotomorrow @sageclipse @schnukiputz @mbloggotdeletedsothisismybackup @lumoschildextra @juleswashere3 @yet-still-more-banched @cinnamon-mushroomabomination @yearningagain @starlight-archer @chaosgremlinmunson @aol19 @goodolefashionedloverboi @gutterflower77 @moomkin77 @wonderland-girl143-blog @krazyperson @sevenmerrymagpies

#steddie #my fic #time travel au #apocalypse au #butterfly effect au #what was the conclusion wayne came to i hear you ask? #he can see how desperate steve is to help eddie and maybe thinks steves got a crush on his nephew #also where is lucas you might also be asking #Jason cant go on a dangerous manhunt if the man hes hunting is already caged so Lucas doesnt get roped into that #also i see yall questioning the steddie and trust me that it is. will be #just hes in yknow jail for now so steve can't exactly be climbing him like a tree yet. in the spring break parts. #next part however? well. youll see how the end of the world is going

[thezombieprostitute]

Dream Come True - Part 4

Summary: The “Garbage Men” are the guys in the mob who get the dirt on others and clean up after the higher ups. They have many different ways of gathering intel by running legitimate businesses. One such business is Jefferson/Jensen’s cyber cafe where you regularly go to work. You’ve actually become good friends with Jefferson’s daughter and Jensen’s niece. You even volunteered as their after-school tutor. One day, there’s a robbery attempt where you get hurt protecting the girls. This is how you are introduced to Curtis Everett, the guy in charge of the “Garbage Men”.

A/N: Reader is plus sized, femme. No other descriptors used.

Word Count: ~2000. I think this is my longest chapter.

Warnings: Bullying, Fat shaming, Insecure reader, Violence mentioned and referenced but not written. Please let me know if I missed any!

Series Masterlist

Part 3 -- Part 5

It figured. You had an interview in an hour and now Curtis had time to talk to you. You could probably catch a cab and still arrive on time, so long as you kept this conversation short.

As soon as he walked into the cyber cafe (your second home at this point) you stood up and got his attention. He looked a little surprised to see you standing but you remembered every time he's seen you so far it was in a hospital bed. It's been a few weeks and your leg was still stiff but you were diligent in your physical therapy and healing well.

He walked over to you, accompanied by someone you didn't recognize. As soon as he got close enough you directed him to the office in the back, "Jefferson gave me permission to use his office for this discussion." Curtis nodded and the three of you went into the room, closing the door behind you.

"Hello," you reach a hand towards the stranger, "I'm Y/N. I don't think we've been introduced."

"Mace," he shakes your hand with a smile. "We've never met but I have heard a lot about you."

"It's nice to meet you," you return the smile. Looking at Curtis you continue, "we need to talk about either my schedule or Hal's, Sir."

Curtis gestures to the chairs and you all take a seat.

You start, "I understand that there are a lot of things you can't account for in your scheduling but Hal has had to cancel every session I've tried to have with him. And if I'm not tutoring, I'm not getting paid."

"We can put you on retainer," Curtis started.

You interrupted him with a scoff. "I'm not getting paid to do nothing, Sir. What's more, this is hurting Hal. He wants to learn but your chaotic scheduling is preventing that. Do you know how discouraging that can be? To finally have a resource but never be allowed to use it?"

Curtis sighs and looks at Mace, "do you think we can figure out a consistent time?"

"It'll take some work," he replies. "And, as the lady points out, there are things we can't plan for. But it should be possible."

Curtis looks at you, questioningly and you nod your head, "thank you both. This has been very frustrating for me and Hal so I really appreciate it."

"Eh," Mace replies, "what's a little more work?"

"Well I don't mean to cut into your time off with this, Sirs," your tone apologetic.

"We don't do time off," Curtis cuts in.

"What? Why not," you demand. "Time off is important for physical and mental health."

"We have to show our people that we're not asking them to do anything we wouldn't do ourselves," Curtis replied calmly.

"That's bullshit," you exclaim. "No wonder everyone's schedules are so hectic! You're all too exhausted and worn out to think straight!"

"We've been doing this for years," Curtis angrily interjects. "It's clearly been working."

"If you, Hal and Jake are any indication it's only working because of an ungodly amount of caffeine and luck," you retort. "You either need to get some more people or start scheduling R&R for you and your employees, Sir."

You're so focused on Curtis that you don't see Mace smiling, clearly trying not to laugh. Curtis's eyes soften a bit and he nods in concession.

"Thank you." You check your watch, "now if you'll excuse me, I have an interview to get to."

"What?" Curtis looked shocked. You almost think you saw some hurt in his eyes.

"My work for you will always get highest priority, Sir," you assure. "But it's very part-time work, that you’ve been unintentionally sabotaging and keeping very part-time. And that overly generous back pay won't last forever. So I'm looking at getting another income."

"Do you need a ride to the interview," Mace offers.

"No, but thank you," you reply. "The Wilford & Gilliam Trust building isn't too far and I can afford a cab."

Both men froze at your words as you got up and tried to leave. Curtis quickly blocked your access to the door and nearly growled, "you're not going to that interview."

"Excuse you?" Your eyes widen in surprise. "I've already told you that my work for you will get top priority and that I need the income, Sir. Now please move. I don't want to be late."

"You're not working for Wilford & Gilliam," Curtis barked. "You need another income? Fine. I'll find you another job. But you're not working for them."

"It's just a part-time, data entry kind of job," you retort. "And it's consistent, reliable work."

"They're horrible people who fund even worse people," Curtis scowled. "I know you like your data to back up these kinds of things but I can't tell you how I know."

You scan Curtis's face, take aback at the intensity of his conviction. There is no room for doubt that he believes in what he's saying. "Okay, Sir," you concede. "You've yet to do wrong by me so I'll trust you. I will still look for a second job, in case you can't find me one, but it will not be with them."

Satisfied with your answer Curtis let's you leave. As soon as you're out the office door he sees the grin on Mace's face. He gives him a questioning look but before Mace can say anything they hear you exclaim, "Mr. Drysdale?!"

Both men rush out to the main cafe and see Ransom looking uncharacteristically repentant.

"Y/N," Ransom gulped, "come back to work for me. Please."

"No," you responded before trying to walk around him.

Ransom blocks your path, "please! I...I made a mistake and I would like to make it up to you."

"No," you repeat, patience wearing thin.

"I'll double your pay, please!"

"Hire someone else!"

"I'VE TRIED," he shouts. "Their work doesn't get me through writer's block like yours did. Their research is all dry facts that are hard to absorb. You wrote in such a way that it was easy for me to figure out how to write it into the story. So PLEASE come back to work for me!"

"Do you know why I requested remote work, Mr. Drysdale?" He shakes his head, not used to the iciness in your voice. "I heard you complaining about me to your grandfather, the one who made you hire me. You never had a problem with my work but you still insisted he let you fire me so you could get a pretty assistant. One who was, to use your words, preferably fresh out of college. Because how could you be expected to write when you had to look at ugly, fat ass instead of a beautiful muse?"

Ransom at least had the decency to look ashamed but you didn't relent.

"So I worked remotely, making sure you wouldn't have to see me and I wouldn't have to put up with your looks of disgust. And then, when I got hurt, you cut me loose. So, no, Mr. Drysdale, I will not be working for you ever again. I prefer a reliable employer who appreciates my work."

You try to walk past him but he puts an arm out to stop you. Before you can react to the arm, Curtis has pulled Ransom away, gripping him by the front of his sweater. You don't want to cry in front of everyone so you keep walking, set on going home.

As soon as you're out the door Curtis snarls, "you do not treat any of my employees like that." Before Ransom can reply Curtis punches him in the face and he falls to the floor. Curtis glances at Mace who responds with a nod, promising he'll see to the witnesses, before he lets himself run after you.

Thankfully it was an off time of day and the sidewalks were mostly empty. He spotted you right away and quickly went after you. He caught up to you but the tears in your eyes made him stop in his tracks. 

“Y/N,” he asked. “You gonna be okay?”

“Eventually, Sir,” you reply, still walking. “He’s not the first asshole I’ve had to deal with and he won’t be the last.”

“I’m sorry you had to deal with that. I should’ve stepped in sooner.”

“I’m glad you didn’t, actually. He needs to know I’m serious and that I’m strong enough to not need him. If you had stepped in before I was done talking, he’d think he could still get to me by going around you. This way I got to be the one shutting him out, giving him no room to think he could worm around.”

“That’s fair. I was incredibly impressed with how you handled him.”

“Like I said, not the first asshole to put my looks ahead of my worth.”

“Your prettiness is definitely a bonus to your good work,” he says before he can stop himself.

You stop and look at him, an angry expression and fresh tears on your face. “Don’t, Sir. Just don’t. I’m not interested in your pity.”

“I’m not…” Curtis stops himself. He’s clearly not saying the right things and doesn’t want to hurt you further. “I’m sorry.”

You nod and continue the trek to your apartment. He silently accompanies you. You’re hurt and he can’t fix it. If anything, he’d likely just make it worse. He never wanted to see tears in your eyes but being the cause of a fresh wave of them made him hurt in ways he never knew he could. 

“This is my building, Sir,” you interrupt his thoughts. “Thank you for walking me home and making sure I’m okay.” He nods, still afraid to say or do anything else, and you walk into your building, leaving him on the sidewalk. Part of him wants to follow after but he’s not sure he’d be able to actually do anything. Best if he just gets lost in his work. That’s always helped him before.

As he turns to walk back to the cybercafe, he sees Mace in their work van, parked on the curb. He moves into the passenger seat and sighs. As Mace drives away, Curtis says, “okay, we’ve gotta rework a few schedules.”

Mace chuckles, “if I’d known all it would take to get you to relent was a pretty face with a fiery spirit-”

“Don’t,” Curtis interrupts. 

“I’m just saying,” Mace bantered. “I’ve been telling you for a long while now that we need to give the guys a better work environment or they’ll burnout and make stupid mistakes. She makes one comment about how it affects her and you’re singing a different tune.”

“That’s not what happened.”

“I was there, Curtis. I saw it all happen.”

Curtis remained silent.

“I can’t say I blame you, though. She’s got some serious-”

“ENOUGH,” Curtis ordered. “Let’s just get to thinking about some more work for her.”

Mace took a calculating look at Curtis, “how about we have work with Colin and Mickey? They could use someone responsible to act as their manager. We could get better info from their VIP section if at least one person was sober. And you know they’d make her feel…appreciated.”

“No,” Curtis barked. “They’re idiots who would get her in trouble. I also don’t want her anywhere near the drug monitoring operations. If one of Rumlow’s goons pushes something on her…”

“Okay,” Mace interrupted. “How about Lee or Barber? She’d be pretty safe with them.”

“No. She’s too curious. Lee and Barber have information about us and I don’t want her to go snooping and suddenly be liable for our mistakes.”

“You’re intent on keeping her in the dark? She’s clearly smart enough to know there’s more to all of what we do.”

“But she has no specifics. No details. She can still claim ignorance and that’s how I want it.”

“Not sure how plausible an idea that’s gonna be. Especially when you two start dating.” Mace smiles a little when he hears Curtis’s warning grunt. 

“That’s not going to happen,” Curtis vows. “We’ll figure out something.”

“Whatever you say, Boss.”

Part 3 -- Part 5

Tagging @alicedopey because I promised I would.

@dontbescaredtosingalong

@icefrozendeadlyqueen

@texmexdarling

@veltana

@winter-soldier-101

Let me know if you'd like to be tagged.

#Curtis Everett x plus size!reader #curtis everett x reader #mob!curtis everett #mafia!curtis everett #Curtis Everett x female!reader

[luvly-writer]

“But oh..cara mia”

Ch. 1: So what did i miss?

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Dick Grayson x Latina! Reader

Status: Ongoing

Warnings: none

Author’s Note: Seeing as “You are my sunshine” is ending, I published the first chapter to get you guys as excited as I am for this story.  Warnings, in this story, heavy amounts of character trauma will be discussed. Therefore, heavy amounts of angst will be shown. Worry not though, fluff and feels will also be a part of it. Enjoy the first chapter and if you’d like to be part of the tag list, don’t be afraid to send me an ask, reply on the chapters, or send me a message. Feedback is always positively welcomed and loved. Love you all!

Taglist:  @lorosette @nanas-teatime @prettyacademia00

Series Masterlist:

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It had been a quiet night on patrol. Nothing big had happened, just a few thugs here and there. Everyone had retired for the night and decided to crash at Wayne Manor. First arrived Babs, Steph, and Cass, they had been the group closest to the manor. Then came, Tim, Jason, and Duke. Dick, Damian, and Bruce arrived last.  They had all entered and headed directly to the changing rooms, too busy with the chatter and banter to even pay attention to the batcomputer.  Funny enough, for a group of vigilantes and the world’s greatest detectives, no one noticed the figure next to Alfred, smirking at them from the seat of the batcomputer. “They really are hopeless sometimes” the young girl laughed at Alfred who nodded along with a soft smile. Finally, everyone had returned and noticed someone had been sitting waiting for them. 

“Well, i’ll be fucking dammned,” said Jason with a laugh as the girl jogged towards them. “Hello strangers!” she giggled as Cass, Stephanie and Barbara went to hug her. Next was Tim and Jason who couldn’t help but tease her for leaving them for two whole years. Duke then smiled as the young girl jumped in his arms and hugged him tightly whilst screaming that God-awful nickname she knew he hated but secretly loved, “Duckie!” Finally, she turned to the last three, first giving a hug to Bruce, the man who had come to love her as one of his own. Then she turned to Dick, and Damian swore the cave turned tense for a second. He looked at both of them, who were standing face to face, looking at each other dead in the eye. Damian looked around, confused at the anxious faces of everyone around. Even his father was looking at them wearily. “Richard,” she said dryly, to which her counterpart responded just as drily with a nod, “YN”. They kept eye contact for a few moments and when she broke it off to look at Damian, everyone let out a sigh of relief. “Bruce! YOU GOT ANOTHER ONE!” she said looking at him bewildered. She turns to the man and says, “Ok, that’s it, you definitely have a problem, Bruce. You can’t keep exchanging therapy for adopting orphans. I thought we were past that!” making the rest laugh. It wasn’t Yn if she isn’t berating Bruce on something. Bruce at least had the decency to look bashful and Damian spoke up before he could open his mouth, “I am not an orphan, I’m his son. THE blood son”. Yn eyes widened and she looked at Bruce who confirmed his claims. “I leave for two years and come back to find you have a biological kid! Bruce! You could have at least sent an email of precaution!” she says and Bruce shoots back, “I would have if you hadn’t been traveling constantly or in Themyscira” to which the girl smiled bashfully. “You said I needed a break, so I took it.” making the rest laugh. It was good to have her back. Before long, they had migrated to one of the living rooms where she told them all about her adventures and gave them little souvenirs. Throughout this entire time, Damian observed her carefully. She was open with everyone else, yet guarded with Grayson. There were times he would find them looking at each other when the other wasn’t paying attention. A strange fondness could be found in their eyes.

Finally, everyone started to retire to their bedrooms, but before he did, Yn called him out. They were left alone in the living room, with Damian looking at her curiously. “Heard you are half Arab,” she said looking at him softly. She was kind, that he could tell. “He answered quickly, wanting to know what she wanted from him, “Yes, I was raised at the League of Assasins by my mother and Grandfather.” She nodded, “Ras Al Ghul and Talia Al Ghul, damn, another traumatized kid to the bunch. How’d that happen with B?” she said not expecting an answer but Damian cleared it up for her, “She drugged him. Doesn’t take a genius to know it”. She hummed in response and pulled something out of her bag. It was an elephant figurine, beautiful in all aspects. It was jade with golden accents. Truly a remarkable piece. She extended her hand towards him and presented it to him. “Here, a small present. As a welcome to the family. I got it when I visited Arabia. Elephants are my favorite animals, thought you’d like it,” she said and smiled when he took it. He felt a warm sensation in his chest, one he wasn’t used to. Giving her a nod, he thanked her and left for his room. She could see the small smile he was trying to suppress. Once in his room, Damian placed the figurine on his bedside table. Admiring it a little, his thoughts were full of the observations he made of today. Yn Ln. First, he identified what was known. Everyone in the family seemed to be quite fond of her except Grayson, which was out of character seeing as he was normally the warmest. She was kind, and he would understand the fondness of everyone else. She seemed to know all of them quite well, meaning her presence in the family must go way back. And finally, things between Grayson and her were NOT good. Now to what he didn’t know. What exactly was her part in this family? Why does she have such influence over everyone? And his biggest doubt, what the hell happened between Grayson and her that caused everyone to tense up at a mere staredown between the two. That night, as he went to sleep, he assigned himself a new mission. Find out who is Yn Ln and what went wrong between her and Grayson. 

#batfam #batfamily #batman #tim drake #cassandra cain #dick grayson #jason todd #damian wayne #stephanie brown #bruce wayne #alfred pennyworth #dick grayson x y/n #dick grayson x reader #dick grayson x you #dick grayson x female!reader #dick grayson x latina! reader #nightwing #nightwing x y/n #nightwing x reader #nightwing x you #dc robin #robin x reader #robin x y/n #robin x you #dc nightwing #dc batman #dc universe #dc dick grayson #dc x reader #barbara gordon

[yorsgirl]

I just read through both chapters of your Gojo fic and I’m OBSESSED! So many thoughts right now, you’re so talented 😭

Y/N has given us a bit of insight as to why she dislikes Kazumi and I can honestly say that IF what she’s telling us is true (since we’re really only getting her perspective) then I don’t blame her for her feelings. Your rich friend that can accomplish anything they want because they were born into wealth constantly reminding you that YOU can’t always get what you want? Nah, I wouldn’t let a friend shit on my hopes and dreams whenever I spoke of them. Then continuing to call someone a nickname they’ve clearly said they didn’t like is also pretty disrespectful too, I wonder if there’s any more though because… Y/N GIRLIE why not just stop being friends with her if you didn’t like her 😭 she’s been inconsiderate of your feelings enough for you to just drop her but… None of this is an excuse to have an affair with the man your “best friend” loves though like??

I wonder if Y/N has actually developed feelings for Satoru. I’m sure their affair has started out of mutual attraction and revenge on Y/N’s part, but given her reaction when Satoru promptly reminded her of her place of not being on Kazumi’s level (which I wonder if he’s said because he most likely knows she’s insecure about it) then she might have without realizing it.

There’s so many questions racking through my brain, has Kazumi really not suspected a thing even through their blatant flirting in front of her on their first meeting? Why did Y/N stick with someone she clearly can’t stand? Is there more to Y/N and Kazumi’s relationship that we have yet to see or is Y/N just that awful of a person to Kazumi? As of right now my mind is just racing!

I can’t wait to see the aftermath of this situation, Y/N babe let’s get some therapy maybe 😌 Kazumi, I’m so sorry you were betrayed by the two people you probably loved most omg 😭 Satoru, you can go to hell (need you so bad tbh)

THANK YOU FOR THE CHAPTER and I’m so sorry for the essay message 😭 looking forward to part three! Have a good one ❤️

First, I just want to say THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR SENDING ME THIS AND READING MY WORK!! ❤️ ✨️ and your character study is awesome dearie!!

Secondly, I love how you left messages for everyone, here's there answers for you:

Y/N: I am sure I can use a bit of therapy after all that, thank you.

Kazumi: I still can't... it's so hard to even believe but... I guess, I knew bits and pieces about it... Still it doesn't help but thank you for your concern.

Satoru: Would you accompany me on the road to hell, m'lady? *winks*

Now, to answer your questions, I won't answer about Kazumi and y/n's relationship and why didn't Kazumi suspect much cause anything it'll spoil the next part.

As for, why Y/N didn't leave Kazumi:

Its kind of an attachment issues. I have incorporated this trait in y/n recalling my behaviour with some of my former(toxic) friends. Idk if anyone relates with it or not but in this issue, you can't just let go of people who have done wrong to you.

There's a tendency to just stay with them even though you absolutely hate them. But the reason for the stay is because you want to witness and revel whenever the other person's suffering. And as we saw, y/n is a two-faced bitch – she'd provide fake support while laughing internally.

But this attachment issue also makes her suffer as she is not really "leaving" even though she might say that she doesn't care for Kazumi, she is actively present in her life and in a way does care (for her suffering). It is making her suffer too which kind of gives the feel of an internal masochism.

This brings me to my second answer:

I guess I have mentioned it that y/n does harbour feelings for Satoru even though she knows he is an asshole. And yes, the affair was mainly a revenge but then think about it, you are actively flirting, sleeping, meeting someone but all in secret. It gives you the - Us against the world vibe which is thrilling in itself and you don't know when you overstep the threshold of love even after knowing that your partner is a Dick.

Y/n knows that her feelings can be one sided and its causing her to suffer (internal masochism), still she can't stop this affair (attachment issues at play again).

That's just it!! And thank you for reading and writing to me. It really means a lot !! 💗 😭

#a!answers #lmao i just outed myself as the toxic person too

[i-am-baechu]

Secret Love Song (M). 

Genre: OT7 Idol!, baker! reader, established relationship! au, fluff, smut, and angst

Summary: She loves them and they love her twice as much, if not more. It wasn’t until one concert that everything changed for her. She watched them say their love towards Army and something erupts in her. A feeling she was used to with how famous they are and when she finally tells them her feelings, they get mad at her. She leaves the concert and packs her things after the harsh things they said to her. Why would they get mad for wanting to show everyone their love to the world?

Warnings: Mental health problems, depression, insecurities, car accident, blood, hospitals, self doubt, mental break down (Maybe two), flashbacks, fluff, angst, and sex scene

Authors note: This is my first time writing a threesome and I hope it turned out good. If you guys have any suggestion on how to fix it or make it better please message me. This piece I wanted to focus on mental health and how that can change because of an injury, I hope i captured that! - K 💛

Part of Little Mix's Mixtape series!

“It looks like you're doing well with your physical therapy. Your knee looks like it's getting better but you said your lower back still hurts?” Y/N L/N nodded her head and glanced down at her knee with a frown. Even though she was getting better, she knew she would always end up back in physical therapy. She looked back at the doctor who was explaining to her ways to get her back to feel better but deep down she knew it wouldn’t help, “Anything else?”

She shook her head and looked back down at the address he gave her, “So just call to set up an MRI?”

“Yes, with this we’ll get to see if you need surgery or not.” 

She pulled her lips in a tight smile and nodded her head, “Thank you, doctor.”

“Of course. See you after the MRI.” 

She waved to him and watched him leave the room as she closed her eyes trying to make herself feel stable. Another surgery and for what. She took her phone out and saw that Kim Namjoon texted, making her worries disappear. Y/N was in a relationship with the famous leader but she's also in a relationship with the rest of the group. It started with the leader but soon they all confessed to her one day and since then, it's been the eight of them for three years. Seven pure hearts that loved her even though she saw herself as broken a soul. She shook her head at this thought and opened her text, Text me when you're done so I can send a van to pick you up. We love you. 

She smiled at this and she still felt her heart flutter at those words, I just finished. I’ll see you later :) 

She stood up from the hospital bed and walked towards the door with a blank expression. Before she left the room, she glanced back at the room to stare at the bed. An uneasy feeling came up and she shook her head and practically ran out of the room before more thoughts started coming. She waved goodbye to all the nurses and waited outside of the hospital with her arms wrapped around her body. She hated hospitals, the smell of them always lingered no matter what you did. For her, it felt like mockery. A constant reminder of no matter what, she will never be her normal self. No matter how hard she tried. 

She stared at the light blue sky and smiled when she saw the white fluffy clouds slowly move, it was peaceful to see. She quickly snapped out of it when she heard her name and she looked at the familiar driver, Mr. Choi. She gave him a small wave as he gave her a small smile, “Good morning, Ms. L/N.”   

Y/N shook her head at him, “Mr. Choi, I told you to call me Y/N.”

He let out a small laugh and shook his head, “Sorry, Y/N. There’s a package in the back for you.”

“A package?”

Mr. Choi pressed a button and the car door opened to reveal Jimin and Taehyung with wide grins on their faces. Her eyes widened at them but then it slowly changed into a smile, “Baby, we wanted to surprise you!” 

She let out a small laugh and nodded her head at Jimin, “You did just that.”

Taehyung grabbed her wrist and wiggled his eyebrows at her, “Why don’t you sit on my lap, baby.” 

She raised her eyebrow when she saw his smirk and let out a small laugh, “I mean, if you want me too...I won’t fight you.” 

She got in the van and sat on his lap while Jimin gave a glare towards Taehyung. She turned her head to see Jimin’s glare and let out a small laugh. She leaned towards him giving a small kiss on the tip of his nose, melting his glare away. Taehyung pulled her face back to his and gave her a smirk, “You look beautiful. You do everything so effortlessly.”

“It could be the water at the apartment.”

He rolled his eyes and leaned forward placing his lips on hers making her heart beat faster. When they pulled away Taehyung poked her nose making her smile. Before she could say anything, Jimin quickly wrapped his arms around her waist and brought her to sit on his lap now. He gave her his famous smile and nuzzled his face into her chest. She combed his hair and kissed the top of his head, “Y/N, I missed you.” 

“Jimin, you saw me this morning.” 

He rolled his eyes and looked up at her with pleading eyes making her heart stop for a minute, “So, I still missed you.” 

“Aish, why are you so cute?”

He smiled at this and kissed her forehead, “How was the appointment love?”

She let out a sigh and went into the back ignoring their worried glances. She sat down and stared at the window with a frown, “I have to get an MRI. I get to see if I need surgery or not...again.” 

Jimin glanced at Taehyung with a worried look but Taehyung ignored the look from him and turned towards Y/N, “No matter what happens, we’ll be here for you no matter what.”

“I know...I know you will.” 

She sighed to herself and continued to look out the window. She knew the boys will always be there for her no matter what and most people would feel loved but she felt the opposite. She felt like a bother to them and she felt like she was nothing. She owned a bakery and it was her dream to be a baker but it was all taken away from her. As the car moved, Jimin and Taehyung kept glancing at the girl with a worried look but she again ignored it. Even the glances from her lovers made her feel the pity that ate her away at night. 

When the van finally stopped, she saw Taehyung was the first to leave meaning it was just her and Jimin. She knew that he wanted to talk to her, it's always the same talk. 

“Y/N...baby. Are you okay?”

The word okay...she hated that word because no matter what she did, she could never be okay. At night she didn’t even pray to be okay, shit she didn’t even know what she wanted to feel. She nodded to herself and gave him a smile, “I’m...alright. Jimin, we've had this conversation so many times that I can replay it word to word. Just...don’t ask me if I’m okay anymore, please.” 

His eyes widened at this but he nodded his head wanting to respect her wishes. He grabbed her hand and looked at her. In his mind the look was pure love but in her mind it was pity mocking her but she quickly changed her thoughts and smiled at him, “Y/N, I’m sorry if I upset you.”

“You didn’t,-” My injuries upset me...they make me feel less than and that was caused by a stranger. A stranger that lied to the cops about-, “-you could never upset me.” 

He nodded his head and leaned forward giving her a kiss on the cheek making her blush from his touch, “You know you can always talk to us. Right?” 

No one could understand my feelings, especially you guys. “I know, baby. Let’s go in, Jin told me he's making sushi, homemade. That’s exciting, well I’m excited..” 

“It is exciting but Y/N, should we talk about this with the others?” 

“I’m just going to tell them about the MRI...that’s it. Whatever happens, happens I guess...at this point.”

“No, Y/N. Not that, your feelings about everything.”

She rolled her eyes and shook her head, “I told you, I’m alright. Just tired, okay.” Tired of going through everything and never getting better, no matter what I do.

“That’s true, you haven’t been sleeping much. How about tonight we cuddle?”

“That sounds great, baby.” 

She leaned forward giving him a quick peck on the lips making his famous smile appear. She rubbed her nose against his as he let out a small giggle, “I love you, Y/N. I really do.” 

“And I love you Jimin.” 

The two walked into the house to see everyone getting ready for lunch and she smiled at this. Jungkook looked up from the table and his face erupted into pure happiness. He dropped the plates he had and quickly ran to her making Bam follow his movements. He picked her up with ease and tightly wrapped his arms around her waist, not tight enough to hurt her. She let out a laugh and placed her hand against his cheek and leaned her forehead against his. 

“I missed you so much today.”

She kissed the tip of his nose making him smile, “I missed you too.” 

This is what home felt like, the warmth and love makes the sadness disappear. He gently put her down and started kissing her face in random spots making her giggle. When he stopped, she leaned down and kissed the top of Bam’s head. 

“Ah! Y/N welcome home!” 

She looked up and smiled at Jin who was placing food on the table. She slowly made her way to the table when all of sudden she felt her chest tighten. She watched Yoongi place fresh baked bread on the counter and the rush of memories clouded her mind. When she would work at her bakery, she would always bring home pastries or fresh baked goods. It was actually the first time she realized she had a special connection with all of them.

It was raining and Y/N just finished her shift. She grabbed two loaves of bread from the leftovers and said goodbye to the store in a quiet voice. It was a busy day with a bride coming in requesting a cake for her bridal shower to a child picking out a birthday cake. Seeing the smiles of her customers made her feel warm on the inside. Today Namjoon asked her to come over at the dorms to spend time with him because he was too tired to head to her home. She didn’t have a problem but she wasn’t sure how the members would react towards her. Lately, they were acting weird towards her, they were acting very shy which was abnormal.

She walked to her car and placed the bread in the passenger seat as a small sigh came out. She was so tired but it was all worth it. She started the car and drove off slowly because she hated driving in the rain and snow, two weather conditions she hated. The drive to the dorms was anxiety racing because she saw some thunder and she knew she couldn’t have a breakdown. She had to keep going to be in Namjoon’s arms. 

She parked the car and quickly made her way into the apartment. As she was rushing inside, she accidentally dropped the bag of bread in a puddle and this sent her to cry. She quickly picked up the bread and ran towards the door with rain drops and tears mixed on her face. She closed the door and slid down the door as she started to cry into her hands. The soggy bread was next to her and it wasn’t making her feel better. She continued to cry until she heard footsteps coming towards her. 

She looked up and saw all the members in front of her except for Namjoon. She quickly wiped her tears and gave them the best fake smile she could muster, “Oh, hey guys. It's raining pretty hard...” 

No one said anything but they moved closer to her and Jimin leaned down taking the soggy bread away from her. She stared at this with a small frown and her eyes didn’t leave the bag. He opened it and gave her a smile, “Aww, guys look Y/N brought us bread!” 

She raised her eyebrow at him and shook her head, “The bread got ruined-”

“Thank you Y/N. You always bring us pastries, we appreciate it.” 

She turned her head towards Jin who was giving her a soft smile. She looked away and stared down at her shoes, “I wish it could be fresh.”

“We don’t care, you brought bread to us. That’s what matters.”

Yoongi leaned down and made her look up at him, making her see his soft smile. He pushed her hair behind her ear making her heart flutter a bit. She glanced at all the members who were giving her soft smiles and her chest felt like it was going to explode. Never once did she notice their soft looks and how handsome they were. It was a strange feeling but she was sure it would go away.

“Y/N?”

She looked up to see Hoseok giving her a concerned look and she quickly shook off whatever face she had on, “Yeah, Hobi?” 

“You kinda spaced out there, I was wondering if you were okay?”

“I’m just hungry. I haven’t eaten yet.” 

“Oh, okay. We should eat, Jin is almost done with the food but Yoongi bought bread for us as we wait.”

She gave him a smile and nodded her head, “I think we should eat before we get even more hungry.” 

She walked towards the table and Namjoon entered the diner room with his wide smile. He leaned down and gave her cheek a kiss, “Hey, baby. How was everything?”

“You know...it just went the same like always. I just have to get an MRI and wait.”

“We’ll support you no matter what happens, okay?”

I know you will but you shouldn’t have to say that to me, “I know baby.” 

“Lunch is ready!” 

During lunch, Hoseok kept his hand on thigh the whole time and Jin would feed her. Everything was normal but her. She was the only one that felt abnormal with everything. It was weird, she felt happy with them but the back of her mind was clouded with darkness. The MRI was going to give her answers that could possibly change her life for the good or for the worst. She washed up the dishes and watched the guys leave for practice. When she heard the door shut, she quickly made her way into their bedroom and laid down on the bed. She stared at the ceiling with a blank expression, maybe I can be normal...

A couple of days later and the thought of becoming normal was clouding her mind. This could be her only chance to be normal for them and they wouldn’t have to be ashamed of her anymore. She was begging for Namjoon to tell the public that she was him and keep it a secret that she was with the others. It was a constant argument between her and the others because all she wanted was to feel like she was important enough towards them to do this. She loved them with all her heart but did they feel the same?

She brushed her hair and looked at herself in her black dress. Tonight was date night and she was going with Yoongi and Hoseok because they missed last time. She was excited but at the same time she had dread. While the guys could wear whatever they want, Y/N had to wear all black all the way down to her facemask. On some dates, they would make her wear a big black winter jacket to hide her whole body. Tonight, they requested her to wear a black dress, a jacket, a mask and sunglasses. It was hiding everything and of course it annoyed her but whatever she needed to do to be with them. 

She walked outside and saw them in the living room. She raised her eyebrow at Yoongi and Hoseok who were texting on their phones, “Is everything okay?” 

Yoongi looked up and gave her a small smile, “Sorry, we were talking about next week’s Run episode.”

“Ohh, you guys didn’t tell me that...”

“We thought you knew because you're always up to date with fan pages.” 

She looked down at her feet and nodded her head, “I mean, it would be cool to hear it from you guys for once...”

Jin rolled his eyes and let out a small laugh, “You have fan pages for that, it gives you anticipation.” 

She fought herself from rolling her eyes and nodded her head. She walked into the kitchen getting a quick drink before leaving and was met with Jimin who was giving her a small smile. 

“Hey you.”

She waved at him and opened the fridge ignoring the small sigh that left from him. She placed her cup on the counter and poured herself some juice and looked at him with a raised eyebrow, “Is everything okay?” 

“I don’t know Y/N, you tell me that.”

“What are you going on about?” 

He sighed and looked away for a minute before netting her eyes, “Ever since the doctor's appointment, you’ve been closed off. The others haven’t noticed but I have. Is everything okay?” 

“I’m just…just overwhelmed with the doctor stuff. That’s all.” 

“You can talk to me…”

I know…you guys say it to me every time I feel like this. But for some reason, it doesn’t fix me. “I know baby…I know.”

“Y/N, are you ready!”

She finished off her drink and turned towards Jimin with a small smile. She leaned forward and gave him a quick kiss, “I’m okay…okay?”

He glanced down at her lips and nodded his head, “If you say so.” 

She gave another quick peck and made her way into the living room to see Yoongi and Hoseok already putting their jackets on. Even though she was annoyed with everything, she couldn’t deny that they looked handsome no matter what they did. She grabbed the big winter jacket and placed all the accessories that they wanted her to wear. The couple walked into the car and Y/N had to sit in the far back away from the windows. 

She sat in the back and watched Yoongi and Hoseok talk to each other while she was silent in the back. She took out her phone and started to go through her phone, she opened her messenger and started texting her friend and business partner, Leigh-Anne.

How is everything?

Oh, Y/N. The bakery is going good! I miss you so much. I hope you can visit. 

I want to visit but not yet...I’m not ready 

I understand that, are we still going out for lunch tomorrow? 

Of course

She looked up when she felt the car stopped and realized they were at the restaurant. She had to wait for them to leave first and then wait for a text for her to come in. It was always like this. She sat there staring at the seat in front of her with a blank expression. She should feel excited to finally have a date with them but now it felt like an afterthought. She felt her phone buzz in her hand and she slowly made her way out of the car. Before she opened the door, she sat in a chair rubbing her forehead roughly. She closed her eyes tightly and then sighed again before opening the door. 

She walked through the dark restaurant like a ghost, no one saw her nor did anyone care for her. She saw the two sitting at a table in the darkest part of the restaurant and only saw them because the lights on their phone showed their faces. She smiled at the bodyguard who was used to her and sat across from them. She wondered if the bodyguard knew she was theirs or was just a friend. 

She sat there and waited for them to give her the sign to take off her mask and sunglasses. She looked around the restaurant and her eyes focused on a young couple who were holding hands on the table with wide smiles. He brought a strawberry to her mouth and gently poked her nose, it was cute and it made her sick. She doesn’t remember the last time she smiled that wide with them on a date. She was happy on the dates they went on but she couldn’t help with feeling scared every second. Someone seeing them or her, it could ruin everything. 

“Y/N? Did you hear?”

She looked back at them with wide eyes that they couldn’t see and nodded her head, “Oh, sorry.” She took off the mask and sunglasses as she did this the two men in front of her, gave her a soft smile but she didn’t see it. She placed the mask and sunglasses next to her and stared at them, “Is that better?” 

Yoongi let out a small laugh and took a sip of his water, “It is, we get to see your beautiful eyes.” 

She quickly smiled and took a sip of her drink and looked away for a second, not wanting them to see her flushed face. When she looked back Hoseok gave her a worried look and looked to her side with confusion, “Where’s your walker?”

She felt her body tense up and looked down at the empty plate with a glare, “I don’t need so, I left it at home.” 

“Don’t you need it, baby?” 

If I used it then all eyes would be on me and not for the same reason as eyes on you, “No, I don’t. What did you order?” 

The dinner was filled with conversations that didn’t involve her. She would eat her pork while she watched the two talk about recording or Run, was this even a date? When the dinner was done, Yoongi said he wanted to go to the river and this made her excited. The river and beach was her favorite place to go, she was excited. The drive was filled with silence but this silence didn’t feel like it was piercing her like last time. 

When the car stopped, she was the first one out ignoring their scolding. All she wanted was to smell the water and let it take over her. She rushed to the end of the bridge and looked across the water. The lights of the city reflected on the water and she watched the river flow with the lights, it was a marriage that no one saw coming. She closed her eyes as the sound of the river filled her ears, it wasn’t until she heard an annoyed voice behind her. 

“Y/N, you know you're not supposed to run out like that. What would happen if someone saw you?”  

She sighed and turned around to see Yoongi with his arms crossed over his chest, scolding her like she was a child. She looked down at the ground and then back at him, “We were in the far part, no one-”

“Y/N, that doesn’t matter, someone could’ve seen you get out of the car.” 

She stepped back a bit when she heard Hoseok's voice raised a bit but she continued to stare at them, “No one knows who I am, so it's fine. Plus I’m wearing all black, no one can see me.” 

She turned her back and looked at the water feeling their stares on her back. She wanted to yell at them for treating her like a secret but she knew, that's what she was. She was a secret that will never be out to the world. A secret that will only hurt her as the time passes. 

They stood by the fence and there was a distance between all of them. Yoongi and Hoseok were together talking to each other while Y/N stood alone staring out into the water.  She glanced at them but when she saw their heads turned towards her, she looked back at the water. After twenty minutes of staring out into the water, the couple went back into the car and headed home. Y/N stayed on her phone looking at instagram and all her friends with their partners. She glared at all the happy couples on her phone and shut it off before she said something to them that she would regret. 

When they got home, they kissed her goodnight and she walked into her bedroom alone. She turned on the light and saw the emptiness. She wrapped her arms around herself and closed the door with her foot. She tossed her jacket on the floor and gently jumped on the bed with a blank expression. 

She turned around to stare at the ceiling with a frown, Of course they wouldn’t want to be seen with me...I’m disable. It’s embarrassing to be seen with someone with a cane or even a walker. Maybe that’s why they haven’t been spending time with me because I need to get surgery again. It makes sense-

“Y/N?”

She looked to her side to see Namjoon rubbing his eyes looking at her with a concerned look. She raised her eyebrow and gave him a small smile, “Is everything okay?”

“I was just checking in on you and I wanted to know if you wanted to cuddle?” 

“I would like that...”

He gave her a smile and slowly closed the door making sure he didn’t wake up anyone. He gently got on the bed and laid down behind her with his arms around her waist. He nuzzled into her neck and placed a kiss, “I love you.”

“I love you too.” 

She felt his arms tighten around her waist and she smiled at this but it slowly dropped. Even though she felt his hands around her waist, it burned her more than comfort her. What happened to those touches that made her feel so happy? Was it because of her? She glanced at the mirror on the side of her room and she stared at it. The only thing that she could see was her desk but all she could see was her standing in front of it. Arms wrapped around herself as she watched darkness swallow her whole. Will they save her? 

She watched the darkness choke her as she tried to gasp for air and she’s reaching for anyone to save her but alas no one was there. She watched herself get dragged out of the frame and that was it. She heard Namjoon snoring and continued to stare at the mirror, waiting to see if she came back in one piece.

Nothing.

“There was once a princess, trapped in a castle. This princess was special...She was given a terrible curse from an evil witch. The princess begged her family to send her away and they caved into her, they just wanted her to be normal again. They placed her in a castle away from them, hoping the time away from them could transform her into what they wanted. As the years passed, she wasn’t changing the way they wanted and she thought something was wrong with her. It wasn’t until seven knights from a different region came and saved her...They saved her in a way they couldn’t understand but she wouldn’t tell them because she was overwhelmed. The love they have for each other was like no other and their story continued...”

The little girl clapped her hands at Y/N and looked down at her hospital gown, “That was cute. Do the parents know about them?”

“No, no one knows about their relationship.” 

The little girl tilted her head at this and gave her a confused look, “That means they don’t love her then, right?” 

“I-I wouldn’t say that...just protective over her...” 

“I would want the whole world to know that I’m in love! Mommy and daddy said secrets are bad.” 

She gave the girl a small smile and looked at the window to look at the trees, “Sometimes secrets can push you forward...” Even when they drag you down…

Y/N finished washing strawberries for her cake. She didn’t have a reason to make a cake, she just wanted to make it. She couldn’t make it at her bakery so might as well make it at home. The only people home today were Jin, Hoseok, and Namjoon; the three were doing whatever they wanted. She missed baking and creating things that the only thing she could do was bake simple cakes at home. It’s been months since the last time she baked…it was starting to feel foreign to her and she hated that.

She put the final layer of cake on the cooking racks and stepped back slowly with a smile, everything looked good; so far. She started whipping her cream and she looked at the entrance to see Jin walking in finishing his bottle of juice. 

“Hey baby, what kind of cake are you making?”

She watched the machine whip her cream and smiled at Jin, “Just a simple white cake with strawberries and whip cream in the middle. We haven’t had cake in awhile, so I thought it would be fun to make...I don’t know. I was just bored laying down in the bedroom.” 

Jin eyebrows furrowed and tossed his bottle into the recycling bin as he made his way towards her. She continued to stare at the cake and avoided making eye contact with him. Out of all of the guys, Jin was the one that made her feel flustered in a matter of seconds.The others made her flustered but there was something about Jin that just turned her on so fast that she couldn’t explain it. She never told anyone this but Jin was her original crush before she got with Namjoon. She never moved forward with it because he was much older than her, six years to be exact and she thought he wouldn’t want her. She was wrong.

“You could’ve gotten me or Namjoon or Hoseok to keep you company.” 

“I didn't want to bother you guys...” Like I always do...

Jin shook his head at this and leaned against the counter looking her up and down, “You don’t bother us...you could never bother us, love.”

She shut off the whip cream and gave him a quick smile. He took the bowl out of the mixer and grabbed a spatula to spread on the cake.  Of course you say that, that’s all you guys ever say. You say it but never show it, it's pure pity. Pity for me because I’m disable and deep down you know you can do better. “I know that.” 

She placed the first cake on the rotating stand and watched him start to put the cream on the cake. She smiled at this because she remembered the first moments she shared with them when they started going out. Moments that felt so far away from her and there was nothing she could do about it. Moments that made her remember how happy they were and now...now she doesn't know how she felt anymore. She felt everything but nothing at the same time. 

She placed some strawberries and Jin watched with his head tilt, “Are those the strawberries I got from the farm?” 

“Yeah, I saw that no one was eating it so...I thought to make a cake.” 

“Cake sounds good.”

They continue to build the cake and once in a while Jin would look her up and down with a smile. To anyone else, it was clear he was in love with her. The way his eyes looked at her as if she was the center of his universe and the way his heart would skip a beat when he saw her focus on the cake. He was looking at her as if she was going to disappear and he was remembering every detail of her face. To the texture of her skin to the small wrinkles around her mouth, everything was perfect to him. There was a time that he would just let her go because he didn’t think he deserved to be in love because of his job but meeting her changed everything for him and the others.

She finished the cake by placing the last strawberry on top and she gave a wide smile, “I think it looks good...right?”

He snapped out of his trace and looked at the cake with excitement, “It’s beautiful like you, Y/N.”

Her face turned red and she let out a nervous laugh glancing down at the counter, “Shut up...can you put this in the fridge for me?” 

“Sure.”

She watched him put it in the fridge and she looked him up and down to see that he was wearing shorts, something he doesn’t do a lot. Her blush deepened when she saw his thighs and turned around gathering the bowls she used to put them in the sink. Her glances didn’t go unnoticed by Jin making him turn around with a smirk. She placed the bowl in the sink when she felt his presence behind making her smile to herself, “You were never good at sneaking up on people.”

“Now, why would you say that?”

She felt a shiver go down her back when she felt his soft lips on the back of her neck. She closed her eyes savoring the soft peck and turned around to look at him with a smile, “Because no matter where you guys are, I always sense you...No matter what.” 

He smiled at this and pushed some hair behind her ear as he leaned down giving her a deep kiss. He moved away from her lips and moved to her neck and started to gently suck at it. She bit her lip and wrapped her arms around his neck to bring him closer to her. As he continued to kiss at her neck, her hand slowly made its way down his stomach and toward his briefs. She started palming him slowly and he let out a deep groan against her neck, “Fuck Y/N.”

Jin grabbed her hand and shook his head, “We’re not doing it in the kitchen. It’s not good for your back.” 

“Doing what, exactly?” The two turned their heads at the entrance and saw Hoseok leaning against the wall with a smirk. She let out a deep breath and looked up at Jin who was already looking down at her with a smirk and flushed cheeks. Y/N looked away when she felt Hoseok stare, “Hyung, what exactly are you doing?” 

She turned her head back towards Hoseok and gave him a small smile, “I think you know...I mean if you don’t then...ummm I can say it.” 

He let out a deep laugh that sent a shiver down her back but she ignored it. He slowly walked up to her and gave her a soft smile as he watched a piece of hair escape her hair and onto her cheek. He gently pushed the hair behind and put it back in its place as he looked into her eyes. All the scenarios that he would make up when he was younger was finally coming true right before his eyes. The princess that he begged for was in his life and giving him love, love that he never thought he would get from another but she made it possible. She was the beginning of every sentence while he was the ending, the two were made for each other.  

“Y/N, you truly are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen in my life...I love you so much. Can we show it to you?” 

She glanced between them and saw the softness in their eyes, it was like before. Before I lost everything and they were forced to help me. A time where I was normal, “Yes, please...” 

They both looked at each other and then back at her with a soft smile. Each of them put their hands out and she looked at their hands and then their faces. Her heart was beating faster and she gently placed both of her hands into theirs. The softness of their hands made the negative thoughts disappear and the only thing that mattered was them. The light in the kitchen turned into a spotlight and showcased both of them in front of her. She closed her eyes at the brightness but when she opened them back up, the smilies that she saw when they first met became the only thing she saw. The shy gazes they had when she entered the room and the way she had goosebumps when she heard their voices, a moment that Jane Austen could write. 

She opened her eyes again as they were walking into the big bedroom that was meant for all of them. As they walked through the door, she glanced up towards them and saw the determination on their faces to get to the room. She was gently set at the end of the bed as she glanced up towards them and all she saw was the single spotlight behind their heads. They were the only thing she could see and the darkness that was creeping up was burned away. 

“Y/N, did you hear?”

She shook her head and the light disappeared and she looked up to see Jin giving her a worried look, “I’m sorry, what?” 

“We asked if you're okay with this? We don’t want to rush anything or make you feel pressured, that was the last thing we wanted to do.” 

She shook her head at them and gave them a soft smile, “You could never do that...I hate being blunt but...it’s not my first time with two. You should know that but yes, I am okay with this.” 

She looked away before she saw their expressions and felt herself getting nervous. She wasn’t the type of person that would say things so bluntly and she only did it because she craved them. The light came back on and she turned her head towards them and smiled when she saw their bright brown eyes looking at her. 

Hoseok leaned down and gave her a quick peck on the lips, “Also, all the guys have something to tell you tonight. It's something special.” 

Her eyes widened at this and nodded her head, “...Okay.” 

“Hoseok, get on the bed and Y/N get on top of him.”

She whipped her head in his direction with wide eyes, “Right now?” 

He cocked his brow at the confusion on her face, “I said, get on top of him. Don’t make me repeat it.” 

Her eyes widened and nodded her head and she glanced at Hoseok who was already getting on the bed. She felt her face get redder when she saw Hoseok giving her a smile as he gently tapped his thighs for her. She slowly crawled over towards him and she felt Jin’s stare on her back but she couldn’t look behind her. She found herself straddling his lap and he wrapped his arms around her waist as he gave her a soft smile. 

Jin nodded his head at the scene before him and made his way towards her. He positioned himself so he was right behind her. His hands toyed with the hem of her shirt and he let out a small chuckle when he saw her shiver at his fingertips, “Can I take this off?”

“Ye-Yeah.”

Slowly, he raises his hands up, bringing the shirt up. Hoseok's eyes stared at her breast and she felt the stare burning into her skin. She went to turn her head but Jin gently moved her face back to look at Hoseok with his fingers under her chin, “No, no, none of that. Look at him.” She stared at Hoseok to see him have a smug look as he watched her innocent face stare at him. “Hoseok, take off her bra.”

He quickly unclasped the bra and tossed it across the room making her internally moan because she had to pick it up later. Her breast was free from the fabric but it was quickly replaced with Hoseok’s rough hands. He watched her reaction and saw the small gasps that were leaving her soft lips, he knew he was pleasuring her. Jin smirked at this and his hands came around and cupped her breast, “You're so beautiful,” He leaned forward, placing soft kisses to the side of her neck making her moan, “I wish I could wrap my lips around them.” 

Hoseok rolled his eyes at Jin’s behavior and smacked the older man's wrist, “Move.”

He leaned forward and took one of her nipples into his mouth. She gasped at the action and her hands came up to grip at his hair tightly, “Ho-Hoseok.”

He groaned in response and the vibration went through her body making her moan harmonize with his. He brought his hands down and groped her ass, bringing her forward more. She glanced down at Hoseok and she remembered the time he bought her roses because he missed her so much. The red petals decorated her bedroom floor and each time a new one fell, she pictured his heart smile telling her everything was going to be okay. 

She was caught up in her thoughts that she didn’t notice Jin’s fingers making his way down to her skirt. He quickly pushed the skirt up and started to rub circles around her clit. He titled his head to leave open mouth kisses to her neck making her whole body jolt.

“Wow, why are you so wet baby?”

She let out a shaky breath avoiding Hoseok’s stare on her, “Y-you guys...”

“Who?”

“Stop...”

He quickened his pace causing her to arched her back against him. She glanced down and watched his fingers move at a fast past. She closed her eyes and she remembered when Jin showed her how to play his guitar on a rainy afternoon. There was a small storm that came to Korea and Y/N was crying in her room from the sudden thunder. The only person that noticed her was Jin, he brought his guitar into the room and let his soft melody bring her back to reality. 

She didn’t realize that she was moving her hips and that she was basically grinding against Hoseok. She arched her back when she felt Jin insert his finger inside her, thrusting slowly. She moaned out his name and all of sudden that same light came but it was now engulfing the room. There was no darkness in sight, only light. 

“H-Hyung, I need to be inside her now.” 

Hoseok groaned and continued to grind against her to feel something. Jin let out a small laugh and nodded his head, “Shit me too...” 

They took off the rest of their clothes and Y/N kept stealing glances at them as she did so. She watched them take off the shirts that she gifted them long ago and she was shocked they had it still. The colored fabric made its way to the floor and she watched it go next to each other and in the middle was her bra. She gave the sight a small smile and turned back around to face Hoseok.

He made his way to the bed to lay down and he positioned her so that he was comfortably situated on his lap. He glanced up at her and gently touched her cheek, “You’re so beautiful Y/N. No matter what happens, I love you.” 

“I-I love you.” 

“Ready?”

The soft whisper caught her attention and it cradled her heart at how soft he was being towards her. She watched his hand stroking himself slowly and he aligned himself to her entrance. He bit his bottom lip and she smiled at his patience, “Yes...” 

She slowly went down his length and the grip on her hips tightened as tried to control himself. She closed her eyes and let out a soft moan when she continued to make her way down. She was so focused that she didn’t notice Jin moving Hoseok’s fingers up more so it wouldn’t be directly on her hip. When she felt okay, she opened her eyes again and started to move slowly. This caused his head to tilt backwards on the pillow and he started to move his hips with hers. He furrowed his brows and started to thrust up into her, “Ah~! Hoseok.”

“Did that feel good?”

She let out a small whine when he did the action again, “Fuck, Hoseok!” 

Jin let out small cusses as he was aroused from the scene before him. He couldn’t help but stroke himself. The sounds of her moans and the skin slapping in the room was the melody that could clear up any thunderstorm. Hoseok started to rub gently at her sides and it was as soft as the rose petals that she grew so accustomed to on her wooden floors. Jin positioned himself behind her, his hands coming around her to rub at her clit. 

He continued to rub it until he felt his finger fully coated and removed himself from her. He grabbed her ass and started to tease her other hole, “J-Jin~.” 

He smirks at her response and leaned forward, latching his lips against her salty skin, “Relax okay.”

“Okay...”

Her eyes squeezed shut when she felt his fingers slowly enter her other hole but she couldn’t focus on that when Hoseok was thrusting into her. In the darkness, she saw Hoseok giving her a piggyback ride after a long day at the beach. The laughter filled the air and the sweet whispers that they shared. It quickly changed into the day that she was teaching Jin how to make pie crust from scratch. The amount of flour that landed on her hair from him messing with her was a week's worth of showers but she didn’t care. She remembered she never felt these feelings of doubts until recently. She knew they loved her, it was clear as day but why couldn’t she see it fully? The colored glass that she once looked out into the world was now dull and all she saw was black. Pure darkness and she wanted it to stop... 

Hoseok plants his feet on the bed and he starts to thrust into her faster. She opened her eyes and looked at him with a dazed look but a small smile made its way to her face. She felt Jin pushed at her back and in a quick manner, Jin inserted himself into her. She let out a small gasp at the familiar feeling but even though it was familiar it was a lot to take in. They stayed in that position and waited for the okay from her. 

She tried her best to glance at Jin and then back at Hoseok. They were part of the greatest love that she could ever have in her life and she wanted more, “Yo-You can move...”

Jin nodded his head and pulled himself out fully and then thrusting back slowly. The action made Y/N moan and Hoseok let out a deep groan when he felt her clenching around him. The only sounds that were heard in the room were the skin slapping and the moans. Jin leaned forward until she felt his hot breath against her ear, “You’re doing so good love, isn’t she, Hoseok?”

“Fuck yeah, she is.” 

The overwhelming sensations that her body was going through caused her to close her eyes again. This time she sees herself in the living room with all the guys around her giving her soft smiles. Jungkook brought out some flowers and she accepted them with no hesitation. She remembers this day so clearly, it was the day they told her they wanted to marry her. She opened her eyes again and then small tears left her eyes but they mixed with sweat so, no one noticed her crying gently. The day they planned on being with her forever no matter what. The love she felt that day coursed through her body now and she released with them following her. 

They were panting while she looked down at Hoseok with a small smile as tears left her eyes. He noticed she was crying and brought his hand up to her face, “Baby why are you crying?” 

Jin's eyes widened at this and slowly removed himself from her and sat on the bed next to her with a worried look, “Y/N, are you okay?”

She nodded her head at them and smiled at them, “I love you...so much.” 

After a quick shower, Jin gave her some pain killers from his cabinet and they made their way to the living room to see the rest of the guys waiting. She gave them a small wave and Jungkook pouted at her, “Why didn’t you invite us?”

Y/N’s face turned red at this and shook her head, “I didn’t plan it...sorry.”

“Yah! Jungkook, you know you shouldn’t put any more pressure on Y/N’s body.” 

Her flushed face quickly changed into a blank one when she heard Jin say this. That’s right...they see me as this fragile piece...She gave him a small smile and slowly sat next to Yoongi who wrapped his arm around her shoulders, “Sorry...”

Namjoon smiled at everyone and clapped his hands in excitement, something that caught her attention. 

“Y/N, I talked to the managers and staff and they said you could come to Japan for our concert. So, I hope next week you don’t have any plans.”

Her eyes widened and a wide grin painted on her face, “Really!? This is the first time I get to go with you guys overseas. You're not joking right?”

Namjoon gave her a soft smile and shook his head. Jungkook jumped out of his chair and sat in front of her on the coffee table. He gently grabbed her hands and gave her that bunny smile that she was so used to, “I begged them and they can never say no to me.” 

She let out a small laugh and clapped her hands, “I’m so excited...I made cake today, let's celebrate then.” 

Everyone made their way to the kitchen and watched her with excited eyes. She slowly took out the cake as everyone started to cheer. This was a step closer to showing them off in public without feeling doubts. She cut a slice for everyone and they all left to eat in the living room to watch a movie. Something she didn’t notice was the cake was slowly sinking in on the counter. 

Leigh-Anne took a sip of her tea as she watched Y/N take a bite of her cupcake with a smile. The two were on a spontaneous cafe date, something they always did before the accident. Leigh-Anne knew Y/N before the accident and the boys entering into her life, she knew she was going through heavy stuff but seeing the old Y/N made her happy. Leigh-Anne placed the cup back down and smiled at her, “So, is everything going well in paradise?”

Y/N wiped her mouth with her napkin and nodded her head, “I’m going to Japan tomorrow and then I get to see their concert the next night. I get to see them overseas for the first time.” 

“Oh!? That’s exciting. Buy me something from Japan, will you?”

She let out a small laugh and nodded her head, “Of course.”

Before Leigh-Anne could say anything else, Y/N’s phone started to buzz in her pocket and she raised her eyebrow at this. She took her phone out of her purse and her face dropped when she saw the hospital calling her. She picked up the phone and with hesitation answered, “H-Hello?”

“Ah, Ms. L/N. We would like to confirm with you that next week will be your MRI.”

“Next week...I never made the appointment.”

Leigh-Anne gave her a cornered look but she ignored this, “Your partner did. We wanted to confirm the date.”

“Of course...”

“Okay. It will be on Thursday at eight pm.”

“Thank you so much.”

“Alrighty, Have a good day.”

“You too...” She dropped her phone into her lap and stared down at the half eaten cupcake with a blank stare. The feeling of hunger disappeared and she was left with the pit of despair. 

“Y/N, is everything okay?”

She shook her head and looked up at Leigh-Anne with a frown, “One of the boys made the appointment for the MRI...I told them I wanted to wait till after their concerts in Japan. I have to arrive back home early for it. Why would they do that?”

Leigh-Anne frowned at this and wanted to reach out to her but she knew Y/N would back away, “You should ask them. I’m sure they have a good reason.” 

She shook her head at this and looked down at her water. They wouldn’t want me to stay there...I would only get in the way. I knew this was too good to be true. Why would they want me there? There are other girls there that would look better with them. “I’m going to go...” 

“Do you want me to drive you?”

She shook her head at this and quickly grabbed her bag, “No...I need a walk to think about everything.” 

Leigh-Anne nodded her head, “Please text me when you get home and be safe.”

“I will.”

She made her way out of the cafe with Leigh-Anne’s eyes never leaving her back but she didn’t want to look to confirm it. She walked down the street with a blank expression and her thoughts were so clouded that she forgot she was walking. The only thing that reminded her was the wind that was hitting her face and the shoes that hit the pavement. She told them that she wanted the MRI after their Japan concerts so that they could be home for her. She didn’t want to feel lonely because she hated the loud machine. They all agreed to her face... 

She pressed the button to walk across the street and she watched the streetlight across the street turn red and it made her remember the accident. 

It was a snowy day and Y/N just finished her last cake order for the day. She felt accomplished with everything she had done that day. She put her apron on the hook and Leigh-Anne gave her a smile, “All done?”

Y/N nodded her head and checked something off a list on a whiteboard, “I finished Lee's birthday cake. Make sure you call tomorrow morning for them to pick it up.” 

“Okay. Anything else?”

“No. I’m going to leave before the snow gets worse.”

She placed a red scarf around her neck and zipped up her white jacket making Leigh-Anne smile, “You still have that jacket? Isn’t it time for a new one?”

Y/N rolled her eyes and placed her bag on her shoulders, “No, I love this jacket. The oldness gives it character.” 

“Sure it does. Bye, see you tomorrow morning.”

“See you tomorrow moring. Make sure you text me when you get home.”

“Right back at you.”

Y/N gave her one last wave and closed the door. She watched the snow fall to the ground and she shook her head when she felt the coldness on her head. She never did like snow. She walked to her car and turned on the heater. Just the small distance from the door to her car was enough to make her teeth clatter. She took off her everything to where she was left in a black long sleeved shirt. She left the parking lot of her cafe and watched the snow gently hit her window. 

She stopped at the stop light and took a sip of her water. She turned up her radio and it echoed through her car, “Up next the new single by BTS! Later this evening we will have the boy group here talking to us about their future plans. So stay tuned.”

Y/N raised her eyebrow and nodded her head, “I wonder if they hate those interviews. I would.”

When she saw the light turned green, she looked both ways before going forward. The next thing she knew everything was happening in slow motion. A bright light came out of nowhere on the side of her car and the next thing she knew she was gasping out of shock and pain. She watched her red scarf float out of her car thanks to the broken window and the rough winds of winter. She wanted to reach out and grab the scarf but she couldn’t move. She heard yelling all around her but she quickly closed her eyes as she felt liquid go down her face. She was so tired…

She shook her head when she heard it was her turn to cross. She quickly walked down the street, ignoring everyone that was walking the opposite way of her the best she could. She continued to make her way down the road and she saw all these couples holding hands. Every time she walked past a couple it felt like a slap to the face because she realized, no matter what she did, she would always be their secret. 

That’s all I am to them. A secret. A secret that's dumb enough to always come back because of stupid love. She unlocked the door and saw that everyone was sitting in the living room watching a random movie. She tossed her bag on the table next to her and quickly made her way. Taehyung was the first to notice her and he gave her a smile, “Oh, your back? How was Leigh-Anne?”

Y/N shook her head and stood in front of all of them with her arms crossed, “Who scheduled my MRI?” The silence in the room was uncomfortable but Y/N didn’t care. She wanted to hear from them, with their own voices, “Who did it?”

Yoongi stood up and tried grabbing her hand but she quickly moved away from him, “Y/N, we just wanted you to know quicker so you wouldn’t suffer.” 

“Who did it?”

Namjoon sighed and looked down at his socks before looking at her with a frown, “I did.”

Y/N nodded her head at this and she bit her bottom lip, “You all agreed...after the concerts in Japan that I could do it. I didn’t want to be alone for once but you guys are just going to leave me alone...”

Jungkook stood up and shook his head, “You wouldn’t be alone Y/N. Due to the venue, we have to cut the concert...Less days which means more days with you.”

“Why couldn’t you tell me?” 

Jimin scratched the back of his neck and gave her a nervous look, “Surprise?” 

“Surprise? This isn’t a surprise...this is my health and you just...You can’t just...I’m going to my room, I don’t want to talk to anyone. I appreciate it but I need some time alone.” 

She didn’t want an answer and she rushed to her room the best she could. She locked her door before going to her bed. She leaned towards her nightstand and placed two painkillers in her hand. She’s so stupid, why did she walk home? She grimaced in pain and took her pills praying it would take away the pulsing pain in her leg. She glanced at the same mirror that she watched herself get dragged into darkness and there she was standing in the mirror. She couldn’t tell if she was truly standing in front of it or was it just her mind at this point. She placed her hand on the glass and stared at herself with tears running down her face, she didn’t even know she was crying. 

She thought she could wait longer before she got an answer. She wanted a break from everything and just focused on being happy instead of her health. Why couldn’t she just get that? What did she do to deserve this? She continued to stare at the mirror and all of sudden her clothes were changed into a hospital gown and she was in a wheelchair. Just like the night that it happened. 

She started screaming but there was no sound leaving her body. She could only hear the beeping from the heart monitor. She couldn’t move and she was just stuck in the wheelchair. She tried her best to move but nothing, nothing was letting her move. It wasn’t until she felt someone pushing and she looked up to see a faceless nurse walking her towards the glass. Her eyes widened and she wanted to tell her to stop but nothing came out again. The nurse knocked on the glass and she watched as all the glass fell down. The knocking kept going and she looked to her left to see the bright light that she became familiar with. She brought her hand towards the light and all of sudden she sat up in her bed breathing heavily. 

She clutched at her chest as tears went down her face. She heard another knock and she looked at her door, “Ye-Yeah?”

“It’s Jungkook, I was wondering if you wanted dinner?” 

“Ohh...No...later, thank you.”

“Okay, I love you.”

“I love you too...”

She didn’t remember falling asleep and she glanced at the mirror to see that a corner of the glass was broken off on the floor. She stood up from her bed and she looked at the broken glass with a confused look, when did this happen?

She placed the glass on the top of her cabinet and she looked outside her window to see the moon shining with a few clouds in the sky. She slowly walked towards the window and placed her hand against the glass. She glanced down at her hand and saw a fresh cut on her knuckles, when did this happen?

The trip to Japan was filled with laughter from the others while Y/N sat away from everyone. She told them that she was tired and wanted to catch up on sleep, it was the partial truth. When they were in the air, the only thing she could do was stare out the window. She watched the clouds transform into cakes and candies, everything she knew how to make. The purple and pink skies filled her brain with memories of fresh frosting she would make for birthday cakes and the white clouds were the sponge cakes. Even in the air she was haunted with her past life. 

When they landed, everyone was too tired to speak and she was grateful for this. The boys gave her a separate hotel room so she could have more privacy and she appreciated that. She said good nights and entered her room. She looked at the big room but her eyes landed on the mirror in the corner. She quickly dropped her bags on to the floor and rushed towards the glass that haunts her. She picked up the mirror and turned it towards the wall, not tonight, please. 

Y/N was so tired. She didn’t get any sleep last night even though she flipped the mirror, it didn’t do anything for her. The guys were all excited for her to see them perform and she was too, at least that’s what she was telling herself. She watched some of them get dressed for their concert and the others practice some dance moves. She watched on the couch with a jealous look because she knew she would never be able to move like them. They deserve a girl that could walk without limping or even a girl that could stand without hurting. Even the staff look at me with pity, they know I’m broken. Watching them walk so freely hurts, why can’t I be like that? No matter what I do I'm always in pain. 

“Y/N, are you excited to watch us?”

Yes, Jimin. I’m excited to watch my boyfriends do things that I could never do with them in front of thousands of people that could, “Yeah, I’m excited. You guys seem so happy this time around.”

Jungkook wrapped his arm around Jimin and gave her a smile, “That’s because you're here.” 

Don’t lie to me, “I’m so happy to be here.”

Jungkook smiled at this and leaned forward, giving her a peck on the tip of her nose. They both left her and Yoongi was the next one to talk to her. He shyly gave her a smile and looked down at his feet before at her, “During my number, I’m going to do a heart and I want you to know… it’s for you.”

Your fans don’t know that, no one in this world knows that, “Aww Yoongi, that’s sweet.” 

“Tonight after the concert we have something to tell you, it’s exciting news for all of us.”

They're going to break up with me. She gave him a fake smile and nodded her head, “Okay.”

“Alright guys let’s go now!” 

She watched her boyfriends make their way out the door but before they left, they all waved at her. She stiffly returned the wave and she was grateful no one noticed how stiff she was. When she heard the door closed, she watched on the big screen thousands of fans screaming for them. Some held signs saying how much they loved her boyfriends. Something she could never do. She scoffed at one sign where they photoshopped all the boys to be around her. She rolled her eyes and took a sip of her water before she said something she would regret. 

She watched her boyfriends sing and dance their hearts out. They looked so happy doing it that it made her happy but that quickly changed when the camera went on the fans. All of them were shouting how much they loved them that she felt like she was going to get sick. 

During a break, the guys came running in with sweat dripping down their bodies. She stayed seated and watched them talk to each other while she was silent. When did this distance happen between them? Was it always there or was she gaslighting herself to ignore it?

Hoseok glanced at Y/N with a worried glance and placed his white shirt on. He walked up to her and sat next to her, “Y/N is everything okay?”

This caused all the guys to look up at her with worried glances. Namjoon looked at the head staffer and asked them to leave in a quiet voice. The boys moved towards her and she was trapped. 

“Y/N?”

She looked up at all of them and shook her head, “Your fans can say they love you but I can’t?” 

Namjoon sighed and shook his head, “Y/N, please not now. Just wait, please.”

Wait? How long do I have to wait? “Do you guys even love me?”

The tension in the room could suffocate anyone and it was suffocating her at this moment. Jimin glared at her and stood up from the couch across from her, “How could you ask that? We love you with all our hearts.” 

You only love me because of pity, “Do you love me or do you just pity me because I’m disable?”

Taehyung was the next to stand up with a glare, “What the hell are you talking about?”

They never loved me…how could anyone love me when I’m broken, “How can you guys love me?”

“We love you for being you, Y/N. Stop being stupid.”

My feelings are stupid, I don’t even understand, “Of course I’m stupid, my feelings mean nothing. Just like how I have to be hidden from the public, my feelings have to be hidden from my boyfriends.”

Namjoon stood up and shook his head, “Y/N, please wait till tonight. We’ll talk then.” 

Jin shook his head at this and took a sip of his water, “You have no reason to be jealous of the fans. We will always come home to you.” 

 She scoffed at this and shook her head, “I’m always going to be a secret. No matter how hard I try, no one will know about me or know about the love I have for you guys. I will always be the ghost.”

Taehyung let out an annoyed sigh, “Y/N, just wait until tonight and we’ll talk about this.” 

“Why do I need to wait for you? Why can’t I just say how I feel? You guys will always pick your fans over me, no matter what.”

Jimin slammed his hand on the coffee table causing her to jump at the loud sound, “We have always picked you. We canceled shit to be with you. We postponed singles so we can go with you to the doctors. We have picked you, no matter what. We love our fans but we love you more. We don’t give a fuck that your disable because we love you for you.” 

Then why do you always hide me? It’s because of my disability, just admit it. Stop lying to me. “I’m not jealous of your fans, I just want people to know that we’re in love. I don’t want to feel like a dirty secret to you guys…”

“Y/N, just wait till tonight fuck. You're not listening to us and only want to hear what you want. Just stop.”

“Guys, you need to be on stage now!”

The guys looked at each other and sighed. They all stood up and Jungkook gave a frown, “Y/N, please just wait…trust us.”

Do I trust you? I don’t even know anymore… She didn’t say anything and looked at the wall. Avoiding their stares and closing her eyes trying to keep her breathing at a steady pace. She heard the door close and she looked back to see that she was in an empty room. She glanced at the tv and saw their fans screaming and them smiling at everyone. Why would they be mad at me?

She scoffed at this and stood up from the couch making the staff give her a concerned look, “Ms. L/N, are you okay?”

“Tell the boys that I’m going back to the hotel and I might not be there.” 

She didn’t wait for their response and quickly walked out of the room ignoring the stares. She walked out of the stadium and into one of the black cars that was waiting for them at the end of the concert. She asked the driver to go back to the hotel and to wait for her in the front so she can go to the airport. The driver nodded their head at this and the drive there was only silent. 

She opened her hotel room and started packing everything. As she was packing everything, she stopped what she was doing and stared at her shaky hands. She started hyperventilating and fell to the ground. She covered her face and she started crying into her hands. She was so tired, just so tired of everything. It was becoming too much for her.

She sat there crying on the floor with her hands covering her face. She didn’t realize how long she was sitting there but it was long enough for them to visit her. She felt an arm around her and she looked up to see Jin giving her a concerned look, “Y/N, what’s wrong?” 

She took a deep breath and looked behind him to see the rest of the guys looking at her, “I-I can’t do this…”

“Y/N, please we can’t lose you.” 

“No, no…I can’t do this anymore. Everything is too much. No matter what I do I can never be normal. I can never be who I was before the accident. I will never be able to dance with you guys or even run…there’s always something wrong with me. Every time I look at you guys I’m jealous because you can be so free while I can’t. I’m a secret but I also get it….Wh-why can’t I be normal?”

She started sobbing and Jin brought her face into his chest as he rubbed her shoulder gently, “Y/N, normal is just a word…everyone’s normal is different just like how your normal is different from your past normal. Why didn’t you tell us this?”

“Because…I didn’t understand it. I still don’t. I don’t know how I feel but I kinda do. I-I just want it to stop.” 

Jin glanced at Yoongi and he sat next to her rubbing her back, “Y/N, maybe you should speak to a therapist. It could help you figure it out. I talked to a therapist and I’ve felt better…maybe you need it, baby.”

She nodded her head and looked at the floor, “I’m sorry…what did you guys want to tell me?”

Namjoon sat on the bed and gave her a soft smile, “Upper management said I can tell the world I’m in a relationship with you and the next step was…we wanted to talk about marriage.”

She looked up at him with wide eyes at this, “You guys want to marry me? After everything?”

Jungkook nodded his head and sat next to Namjoon on the bed, “Through sickness and health, we want you and only you.” 

No matter what happened, she loved them and they loved her just as much. The love they shared was everything she wanted when she was a child. They made her feel special and safe, why would she question anything? She wrapped her arms around Jin's waist and nuzzled her face into his chest as he cradled the back of her head. She was in a fragile state and no matter what happens, they will always be there for her. Always. Why can't I say that I'm in love? I wanna shout it from the rooftops. I wish that it could be like thatWhy can't we be like that? 'Cause I'm yours.

Tag list:

@belladaises​ @iknowyoualwaystae​ @vinylphwoar @mickmoon @delicateladypeach @bbl32​ @arepabella​ @scuzmunkie @kyrah-williams

#bts reactions #bts scenarios #bts imagines #bts jungkook #bts namjoon #bts seokjin #bts taehyung #bts jimin #bts yoongi #bts x reader #bts hosoek #ot7 x reader #Bts #bts angst #bts smut #Spotify

[sunscreenstudies]

Iconic Things My Coding Professors Have Said (Part 4)

"by the way i don't use calculators to calculate things, I use python, which is what all intelligent and slightly masochistic programmers do"

Prof: "you probably don't love numpy yet, but you will do"   Student: "what if it doesn't love me back?"   Prof: "don't worry, it loves you already, you just need some couples therapy"

"so what can we say about this plot? well, we've already seen that it won't win a beauty contest”

"shall we have a go at this exercise together?"   *30 dead exhausted so done faces stare back at him blankly*   "i love your enthusisam for my life's work"

"the more plots you have, the happier the people are... especially the stupid ones"

"pandas is my favourite python library. it sounds very cute... its not, but it sounds very cute"

Student: "using ‘self’ is just a convention, right? you could add whatever you want in there?"   Prof: "... yes, but no"

"what does lambda do?"   *silence*   okay, first of all, what is lambda?"   *muttering from the back*   "a pain in the ass"

"sometimes i think that we're getting places, but then i see your tired weary faces staring back at me, so horribly aged by python and life"

"we still need to add that weird ‘self’ thingy as the first argument"

Powerpoint Slides: "Python gives whitespace semantic meaning but most other programming languages don't treat whitespace in such a way. Instead, they use a separate keyword like ‘endif’ or punctuation like } to end the ‘if’ statement. The proponents of those languages (you can call them haters if you want), say that Python is crazy. Python fans call it beautiful."

"It comes from when we had to teach online during the pandemic, and three hour online sessions was just... devestating for everyone"

"We also have a private folder where we share all the... interesting things"   *awkward silence*   "NOT LIKE THAT!"

"These datasets will be engaging... or at least that's the plan"

Prof: "first of all, how are you guys doing? it's the end of code bootcamp, how are we feeling?”  *everyone starts laughing*  Prof: “... okay, so you guys are laughing instead of crying, that’s a good sign right?"    Student: "we're laughing because if we don't laugh, then we will cry" 

"So I'm not going to read through these slides in class because it's really boring and i can't believe i chose this for a career but here we are"

*Prof’s laptop wallpaper is a cat*   "There's my fur baby"   Student: "What's the name of your cat?"    Prof: "Mia. Officially it's after the song by Abba, but in reality it's short for Meow"

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7  | Part 8

Part 9  | Part 10 | Part 11 | Part 12 | Part 13 | Part 14

#studyblr #compblr #computer science #funny teachers #funny professors

[writing-fanics]

𝖘𝖙𝖗𝖔𝖓𝖌𝖊𝖗 𝖙𝖍𝖆𝖓 𝖆𝖓𝖞 𝖘𝖕𝖊𝖑𝖑 [ 𝖒𝖔𝖗𝖕𝖍𝖊𝖚𝖘 𝖝 𝖋!𝖗𝖊𝖆𝖉𝖊𝖗 ]

[ Chapter Six: Slannen of Pim ]

pretty long chapter here

previous chapter > next chapter

[Y/n] looked down at the magic mirror map in her hands, "Still can't believe I'm listening to the directions of a cat." She says and starts talking to herself as she walked through the forest of pim.

"I wonder what this King of Dreams looks like?" She wonders then looks up seeing a raven flying above her. "Never seen a raven in these parts." She says, looking up as the bird flies above her.

Then she hears rustling causing her to jump, "What was that?" She says looking toward the source of the sound. "Somebody help me!" a voice shouted followed by the voice of someone else laughing. (man laughs)

"Wait a minute." [y/n] says finding the source of the screams, "Sing soprano, little man!" a man shouts [y/n] and runs faster towards the cries for help.

a man holding a slingshot with a knife throws it at the elf on the spinning device, "Missed!" he says in announcement. [Y/n] walks up to them in shock, "What do you think you're doing to that poor elf?" she looks at them and they turned to look at her, "Oh. Who's this who thinks she's so tough?" the man says looking at her.

"Look, l think it's only fair to warn you that l'm practiced in the ancient art... of origami." She says, and the other guy looks at her, "Paper folding?" He says confused.

"l was hoping you wouldn't know what that was." [y/n] mumbles under her breath, "Don't let him scare you, sweetheart! Kick his butt!" the elf shouted, causing her to kick the man in the butt.

"Don't let her do that." the other one shouted.

"Now rabbit punch." the elf shouted, causing her to punch the man in the face. "Combo. Kneel. Front-step kick. Dragon-roundhouse kick." the elf shouts causing her to fight the bandits.

"This chick is nuts!" they shout. "Let's get outta here." they run off/ [y/n] runs over to the elf on the wheel, "l think l'm gonna puke." the elf groans, "Let me help you with that." She says, using the knife to cut him down.

"l am gonna need so much therapy after this." He says, looking at her as she cuts him down. He falls face forward on his face, "Are you OK?" She asks looking down at him, "No, l am not OK!" He asks sitting up, "l think l broke something, or dislocated it, or..." he says as he places his hand on his nose followed by a loud crunch.

"No, just a crick. Slannen of Pim." He says standing up and holding out his hand, "Y/n of Frell. Nice to meet you." She says looking at him, "Well, if you're OK, then l have to be going, but good luck." She says walking off and he follows after her, "You're going? You can't walk in this wood on your own. How about a bite to eat?" He asks looking at her, "That's very sweet, but l'm on a tight schedule." She says to him smiling.

"Fine. Message received, Miss ''l Think l'm All That'' He says to her and she sighs, "That's not what l meant at all." [Y/n] says, looking at him, and the two start bickering.

"l extend the hand of friendship..." He says. the two started to talk over each other, "I am on a tight schedule." She says to him, "Were l not..." He says, "Everybody's busy..." He shouts.

"l would love to have dinner with you." She says finally, "Great! l've got a coupon." He says, and they make their way toward the elves.

They hide behind some foliage to avoid the sight of the eleves, "Slannen." She whispers looking at him, "lf this is where you live, why are we sneaking around?" She asks.

"lf they spot you, you'll be sorry. You know how all elves are forced to sing and dance?" He says to her, "Yeah. So?" She asks, then an elf notices them from the rafters, "Visitors!" The elf shouts.

'Places, everyone.'

'One, two, three, four!'

"Run for it!" Slannen shouts, and [y/n] follows suit as the elves begin singing.

'Let us entertain you, let us make you smile'

'Let us give you a few tricks, some old and then some new tricks'

The two start running around trying to get to the restaurant.

'We're very versatile'

'And if you're real good we'll make you feel good'

'We want your spirits high'

"Where are we going?" She asks, as they run around. "l said get lost!" He shouted, at the other elves. As the ran towards the restaurant.

'We'll have a real good time'

"Leave us alone!" He shouted. Slannes and [Y/n] sat down at a table, "Peace and quiet at last." He says and [y/n] smiles. Until elves walk over towards the table and start singing.

'Jeremiah was a bullfrog'

'He was a good friend of mine'

"Hit the road." Slanned shouted at them and they took that as an introduction to start singing again,

'Hit the road, Jack, and don't you...'

"Get outta here!" Slannen shouted at them. "Yes. Why don't you like music?" She asks looking at Slannen, "That's right. Because elves are supposed to be so happy and joyful all the time." He says looking at her, "Singing and dancing for the man." He says looking at her.

"l don't wanna be an entertainer." He says to her, "l wanna be a..." He stops deciding not wanting to say anything, "What?" She asks curiously, "Nothing." He says looking away. "What were you gonna say?" She asks once again.

" lt's silly." He says.

"Please tell me." She asks looking at him and Slannen sighs, "l wanna be a lawyer." He says and she looks at him. "Why can't you be a lawyer?" She asks looking at him, "Hello?" He says pointing at his ears, "Elf." He says.

"l forgot. The elfin restrictions Sir Edgar passed." She says.

"No elf shall be engaged in any occupation other than singing, juggling, and or tomfoolery."

"They're never gonna let me go to law school." He says sadly and she looks at him, "l'm never gonna get my day in court, never gonna stand in front of the judge and say" He says to her,

''You're out of order! Permission to approach the bench?'' He says. ''l object!'' No, l object." He shouts enthusiastically. "The thought of it is making me go crazy."

'Crazy'

'l'm crazy for feeling so lonely'

Hattie and Olive were going through [Y/n]'s things. Mandy walks into the room holding a letter, "What are you doing with Y/n's things?" Mandy asks looking at them, "Just a little tidying up." Dame Olga says then notices the letter.

"What's that?" Dame Olga asks, holding out her hand. "What? Nothing. lt's personal." Mandy says hiding it behind her back. Dame Olga then reaches behind her back and takes it.

"A letter for Y/n?" Dame Olga says, looking at it curiously. "The prince's coronation ball. He's invited that insolent little snip?" She says in disgust. She then turns towards her daughters, "Girls, go and dust off your ball gowns and pack your bags." She says, looking at them.

"l think l may have found you another chance at your future husband." She says showing them the invitation letter, Hattie looks at it in awe. Mandy knowingly covers her ears and walks out of the room. As Hattie starts hyperventilating, "Yes!" Hattie screams in excitement then faints.

"So this can really show me anything anywhere in the kingdom?" Slannen asks looking down at the magic mirror map, "Somewhat, it only seems to be showing me though where I need to go." She says, looking at him.

Slannen then looks up and notices that soldiers were, "Come on." He says, "What?" She exclaims as they hide behind a barrel. She notices the soldiers gather up the elves, "What's going on?" She asks.

"Edgar's soldiers rounding up elfin singers to perform at the coronation." He says and [y/n] watches sadly, "Get in. And you." The soldiers say to the elves.

"Slannen, you've gotta go to Lamia and petition the prince." She says looking at him, "For what?" He asks, looking at her, "To go to law school. You gotta stop this." She says, as the carriage is pulled away.

'The sun will shine'

"You want me to go to Lamia on my own?" He asks looking at her, "Well, where I'm going it seems to be on the way." She says looking at him. "The prince will never grant an audience with an elf. They think we're a joke." He says to her.

"l have met Prince Charmont, and l think he might be different than his uncle." She says, to him and he looks at her raising an eyebrow, "Why? Cos he's a hunk?" He says and [y/n] scoffs, "No." She says seriously.

"What is he, about six foot?" He asks, "About." She says agreeingly, "Yeah, l hate the guy already. l'm not wasting my time." He says as he leaves the hiding spot.

Taking a moment, "Count me in." He says, looking at her and handing her the magic mirror map. A smile grew across her lips.

taglist open

@sugar-cube-person @intothesoul

#morpheus x reader #romance #morpheus x you #morpheus x y/n #ella enchanted #the sandman x reader #x reader #fluff #angst #the sandman x you #the sandman x y/n #dream of the endless x reader #dream of the endless x you #dream of the endless x y/n

[kurisus]

Chapter 101 thoughts

I found this chapter to be kinda uneventful (which is great for me seeing as I'm still reeling from the last two), but I still have a few things I wanted to talk about. Spoilers under the cut.

It seems like Kazuma has calmed down and shaken off GGS for the time being, but I don't think we're totally out of the woods yet. His numerous death flags aside, he got smacked at the end of a pretty big chapter. Not only was it the 100th, it was the start of the final arc. Plus Mizuchi said she meant business when she got him, which also means...She wasn't aiming to kill when she attacked heaven? Even though she's covered in blood from that? She put her hand through a whole guy.

I think Kazuma's bought himself some time, so while I'm less worried I'm not ready to be optimistic about his future. Because in thinking about it, more occurs to me: Whatever happens to Kazuma at the end of the series may likely indirectly affect Yukine and Nana, as well. They're all hafuri, they're all nora, they've all been hit by GGS. If Yato has to unname Kazuma to save his life, what will happen if trash dad revokes the name of Hagusa? The name Yato gave Yukine is cracked through, so it follows he'd also have to release Yukine to save him. If Nana isn't impervious to GGS like we previously assumed, Bishamon would have to unname her to save her life.

For now, it's kind of looking like the three of them will all share the same fate, whether that's a good or bad thing. I can't explain it, really, but they're all pretty similar to one another and all going through the same thing. In any case, I'm 99.9% confident Yukine won't be dying (again) in this series as it would serve no purpose, narratively or otherwise, so with any luck neither will Kazuma :^)

Anyway, considering trash dad's reaction to Mizuchi implying she was holding back, can't wait for him to find out she's been getting the Hiyori Therapy Treatment. I'm sure he's going to be thrilled to hear that. Kick his ass, girl.

"This has been quite a day" "And it's about to get worse" reminded me that the events of the last, like...15 chapters have all been happening in a single day, and probably the rest of the series will continue to happen on this day. Oh, boy. That makes me exhausted to think about. Everyone needs a nice, long nap. Even trash dad! But his can be in hell <3

Speaking of, more Father backstory crumbs, and they're just as confusing as the last few times. It looks like Kaya was someone who helped heal him after he nearly died, and he returned the favor to the rest of the village after coming back from Yomi, so they all started worshipping him.

I guess the thing that's confusing me is that this story is being told by someone who (a) wasn't there for any of the events he's describing and (b) views Father in a much more positive light than the rest of the cast. How do we know that this is true, and not just what Father has made them believe?

I know we're all pointing and laughing at bald Father but I really do wonder why he didn't have hair. Did he shave it because of his faith? Yet it doesn't seem like he really believes in Buddhism, despite dressing the part. Maybe it was just a way to make himself seem harmless/trustworthy, yet he seemed to have dropped the disguise at some point anyhow because he was shown with a full head of hair in Yomi.

Anyway, Take has finally grown bored of listening and wants to hit things with his sword. (Relatable.) I think either he will be physically stopped, by Ebisu or the gravekeeper, or his attack will trigger some kind of booby trap. They're in a very weird, liminal space, and I would not at all be surprised if Father had something in place to prevent people from killing him once they found it--after all, a previous incarnation of Ebisu visited there and died.

I also wonder if Father could be alerted to someone trying to attack his grave and make his way there. Guess we'll see!

#Noragami #Noragami manga #Noragami spoilers #the omakes were the real star of the show tho dear god I laughed so much I missed the silly shenanigans #live update

[zalrb]

OTH 2X19 REWATCH

1. “Joseph Conrad once wrote” nobody cares, Lucas.

2. Oh, Coop. I feel like this actor is always this guy.

3. But he’s actually who Damon is supposed to be and I find it HILARIOUS.

4. IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII DON’T WANNA BE ANYTHING OTHER THAN WHAT I’VE BEEN TRYNA BE LATELYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

5.

FOR LEYTON????

6. His little wink at her is cute.

7. How wouldn’t Andy realize that Dan is in his classroom? He’s the only one wearing a fucking suit. Like, he stands out

and it’s not even like this is a big lecture hall. Just because WE can’t see Dan doesn’t mean it makes sense that Andy wouldn’t have seen him sitting three rows away from him.

8. I mean, it’s not like Andy and Karen are secretive about this relationship anyway.

9. Deb is the worst drug addict ever.

10. Like Lucas would care about race cars but whatever, the plot needs to happen.

11. Now I want grilled cheese.

12. You would, Peyton.

13. I like how every single person in this episode that isn’t Lucas is just making fun of Nathan’s emotional pain. Lol all of you are assholes.

14. A QUEEN

15.Dancing is always a part of female bonding moments on TV

16. It’s also very clear that they’re not dancing to any music but nothing is as embarrassing as the editing for 3x20 in TVD. Like they just kept it in the everyone stopped dancing while Elena continued for another like five seconds after.

17. AND SHE JUST HAPPENS TO PLAY RYAN ADAMS.

18. I remember I made an SE vid song to When The Stars Go Blue, though, and I did it because I was in this YT argument with a DE shipper, and I got them to admit something after they saw the vid. And it has like NO views but there was a huge argument with DErs on the video and my best friend at the time was going back and forth, it was a mess. And this is kind of why I laugh at all the DE said/SE said stuff now because I was like, well when the show was on air and it was like seasons 1-4, I WAS IN THE TRENCHES. Not so much now.

19. I like how DW Not I is just a cab.

20. The dean would also not speak to a professor at night in the university.

21. I like how boys do the most BASIC shit on this show the  girls are like OH MY GOD, WHAT A GENTLEMAN. A GIRL IS CRYING AND HE GAVE HER A TISSUE, A HERO.

22. You mean the villain who was verbally and emotionally abusive to Peyton and just an all around dick to Lucas?

23. Lol, Andy is pretty cool.

24.

FOR LEYTON??

25. Nathan’s flashbacks to Haley while he’s driving is a pretty good cinematic scene.

26. I mean, I feel like there would be safety protocols for this, there should AT LEAST be fire extinguishers?

27. And we never talk about the fact that Nathan tried to commit suicide. 

28. Also Nathan would NOT just have a bloody nose, with a crash like this

he should look fucked up.

29. “He misses both women that he loves” OK so Jenny is an infant child and Peyton is a 16 year old girl.

30. This scene ALWAYS bothered me because this shit is CONFIDENTIAL

31.

32. I always loved this line

but it’s pretty fucked up that Nathan potentially dying is being used to make a point, haha, like not fucked up for Dan but fucked up for Nathan.

33. But he doesn’t get any form of psychiatric treatment or therapy at ALL

[smurphyse]

The Crowders are Assholes

Smurph's Masterlist

Series Masterlist

Part 5 of Death From Above

Warnings: Canon typical violence, mentions of PTSD, pregnancy

Summary: Tim and Hilly go out on a job, and run into Abby. They go visit the Crowders, and Tim finally reads the note.

Hilly followed Tim through the courthouse, keeping a watchful eye on everyone around her, always walking three steps behind him, just in his peripheral vision. He didn’t miss the fact that her hand stayed on her holster as she walked, either. She wanted him to know she was observing him, taking in how he handled her gaze. 

He held the door open for her and pointed to his truck, figuring Hilly wouldn’t just follow him into the parking lot. They walked down the stone steps in silence, and Tim was growing to hate the indifference and tension he felt between them.

“Tim!” 

He groaned quietly as he slowed his pace and turned. It was Abby, standing on the steps with a worried look on her soft face. The October wind was strong, and she had on a thick cardigan over her sundress, one hand holding it closed over her chest as the other tried in vain to hold her honey blonde hair out of her eyes.

“Friend of yours?” Hilly asked, smirking.

“Here,” Tim said, handing Hilly the keys to his truck, “I’ll be out in a minute.”

"What if I steal it?" 

Tim gave her a withering glare and snatched the keys out of her hand, "Go sit on the bed, then."

Hilly snickered as she turned and walked toward the parking lot. Tim turned and made his way back up to where Abby was. 

"I thought you might call me this weekend," she said, tugging some of her hair behind her ear. 

"Why would I?" he asked, a bit sharper than he meant to, and her face fell. Tim's stomach turned at the sight, and he had to fight himself so he wouldn't reach out and pull her in his arms to apologize. 

"Well," she said, then bit her lip. She thought for a moment, then spoke quietly, "The note."

"I haven't read it yet, Abs, I'm sorry. I was… busy with work this weekend," he lied, but it tasted sour on his tongue. He didn't owe her an explanation, she had broken up with him, but it still felt dirty to lie about sleeping with someone else. 

"Oh," she nodded, "call me when you do."

"I'll read it tonight when I get home, but can't you just tell me what it says now?"

"No," Abby shook her head, "just read it when you can, Tim."

She turned and started making her way back toward the courthouse, but Tim couldn't help himself, "Abby, just tell me."

"Read the note, Tim, then come see me," she told him, and then she was gone. 

Tim groaned again to himself and went back toward the parking lot. Hilly was perched on the tailgate, her legs swinging as she looked all too at home in his truck. 

"Are you ready to go or do you have a therapy session before we leave?"

"You're funny," he deadpanned, shooing her off the bed and closing it as she hopped off. 

"Was that 'breakup box'?" she asked as they both rounded to their respective doors. She hopped up into the cab and looked at him expectantly as he climbed into his side. 

Tim stared at her, and he could feel how close his eyebrows were cozying up to one another, "You're a dick, I knew you recognized me."

"You're just fun to play with, Timothy," she shrugged with a laugh. "So?"

"So?"

"Is that the girl you rebounded with me to forget?"

Tim gave a noncommittal grunt and started the truck while Hilly chuckled to herself.

“This is exactly what I thought you would drive,” Hilly said after a moment, giving him a sweet smile, “Two-door, good gas mileage, can tow up to two thousand pounds. Let me guess, you’ve got a personal project you work on at home. Muscle car, definitely blue, 1970’s model.”

“I’m that easy to read?” Tim asked as he pulled out of the parking lot. “1970 Chevelle SS.”

“Predictable, dependable, easy on the eyes.” She tapped the dashboard and leaned back. “Everything you want in a good truck.”

“Where’d you learn to read people? You took one look at Raylan and knew he was trying to goad you before he opened his mouth.”

“The only thing I heard about Raylan Givens was that he was an asshole, before I met you or Art.”

“So you did your research before coming here,” he said, shaking his head. Figures, it was probably why she hadn’t been surprised at him being a Ranger.

“Of course I did, although I didn’t have your guys’ files until this weekend. After our little tumble in the hay, though, otherwise I might’ve thought better about sleeping with a coworker. Timothy Ryan Gutterson, thirty-five, decorated Army Ranger and sniper, served from ages eighteen to twenty-eight. Discharged, with honors, seven years ago. Three tours in Afghanistan, thirty-two confirmed kills.They still use you as a sniper. I can’t imagine it makes it easier to move on from the Army and what all you did.” She looked out the window, watching the buildings go by as they drove.

“This that therapy session you mentioned?”

She shook her head, “No, just telling you what I know about you. You were a part of the Sand Leopard mission. I handled it too, seems we were in the Sandbox at the same time.” His jaw clenched at the name. That particular mission had ended with an IED and Mark’s leg turned inside out. It also ended his last tour three months early.

“And what were you doing there?” He asked, a little frustrated that she knew so much about him and he only knew her name. It made him feel vulnerable, unsafe with her.

“Working on Sand Leopard .” She shifted in her seat to face him, “I was shot by a sniper once. Hurt like hell.”

“Can’t have been a good sniper if you’re still breathin’.” Tim glanced back at her. She was watching him intently, a playful smile on her face. “Unless he missed on purpose.”

“She did miss on purpose.”

“Point wasn’t to kill you?” 

She shook her head, “It was to keep me alive. Just about blew my leg clean off, though. Might as well have hit me with a truck, probably would’ve hurt less.” 

“You got a lot of these one-off war stories?” He liked the way she told random stories with just enough detail to make him wonder who it was sitting next to him. It’s what he usually did, except he probably wasn’t as charming as her. The word he’d heard to describe himself from one of the secretaries was “unnerving.”

“I’m sure you’ve got a handful yourself.” She leaned against the middle armrest, and he got a whiff of her perfume. Coffee and vanilla, and a hint of floral underneath. It definitely suited her.

“People don’t usually like to hear those,” he said, focusing on the road ahead of him. He didn’t need to get distracted by her perfume. It seemed everything about her, from her hair to her scar to her tattoos, was designed to throw people off.

“Then why tell them?” 

“People ask.”

“And you tell them so they don’t ask again.” 

“Exactly.”

“Exactly.”

"Then why didn't you tell Raylan how you got that scar on your face?" he asked, taking a left, away from downtown Lexington and toward Harlan.

"Oh, let him stew. I figured, stand my ground in the bullpen all at once, and that mysterious hardass persona I've got will spread around the office so I won't have to do it myself."

"That's a bit calculating. What makes you think me, Rachel, or Raylan will spread that around for you?"

Hilly laughed, “Way I heard it, Raylan’s the subject of office gossip more often than not. Why wouldn’t he want to take some attention off himself?”

“You ever hear of Narcissus? Raylan likes the gossip, though he tries to act like he doesn't. He likes being the center of attention, getting what he wants.”

Tim had just decided he was done talking to her about personal stuff when her phone rang. She sighed, pulling it out of her back pocket and checking the caller ID. He saw the name that came up the morning after they’d slept together, Dickhead, on the screen. Hilly swiped the phone to answer. 

“Hey baby,” she said, fidgeting with her hair. They pulled up to a stop sign and Tim put the truck in park, wanting to brief Helen on their fugitive before they arrived in Harlan. She glanced at him, and he pulled the file out of his bag in the back seat while she listened on the phone. He dropped it on her lap, and she opened it while she made noncommittal ‘mhm’s’.

“Well, Ivy, if you’re looking for stuff from your bedroom, I’m going to assume it’s in a box marked ‘Ivy’s Room’, or something along those lines. I’m not the one who packed up your room and neither did your sister.” She pulled the phone away from her ear a bit as the voice yelled. 

She kept flipping through the file, stopping to look at their target’s picture. Devon Cox, some dumbass bail jumper. He got pinched for smacking his wife around, and then she told the police about his side business selling pills. He didn’t show up for his trial date, and Tim figured it’d be the perfect case to get their feet wet as partners, and see what Helen was capable of.

“Ivy, I gotta go. I’ll see you when I get home. If you find it, text me, so I don’t have to worry about the shitstorm I’m coming home to.” She nodded again, another grunt, “I love you, too, baby. Bye.”

She shook her head at him before tucking her phone back into her back pocket. “You ever think about having kids?”

“No, not really, but I’ve never gotten anywhere near that stage in a relationship.” Tim shrugged, chewing on his lip. He still had one hand on the steering wheel as he watched her continue to look through the file. “You don’t seem old enough to have teenagers.”

“Honestly, I’ve never gotten that far in a relationship, either. My parents are gone, so I adopted my sisters.” She held up the folder and faced him. “I’m assuming we’re going to the wife’s to see if she changed her mind about ratting him out?”

He blinked slowly, processing the amount of information she’d thrown at him, “Uh, first I thought we should go by Crowder’s place, see if he knows where he is.” He took the folder from her and tucked it back into his bag behind the seat. “How’d you manage to do all that work if you had kids?”

“Oh, I’m a great multitasker, Tim, as I’m sure you remember,” she chuckled as she shot him a flirty wink. Tim felt the heat rise to his cheeks and flipped the truck into drive.

-----------------------------

The rest of the drive to Harlan was mostly spent in silence, aside from Hilly’s random questions and musings about their target.

She was frustrating the shit out of him. Her ability to switch gears and change the subject on a dime kept throwing him off, and by the time they reached Johnny's bar outside of Harlan he was whiteknuckling the steering wheel. 

Johnny himself was sitting outside the bar as they pulled up, resting comfortably in his wheelchair with a shotgun laid across his lap. 

"Deputy Gutterson," he chirped as they came up the side steps, turning his chair to face them. His eyes lit up as he saw Hilly, and he flashed a wicked grin at her, "I see you brought a new friend."

"Johnny," Tim grunted, waving a hand toward her, "This is Deputy O'Malley. Hilly, this is Johnny Crowder. He's an asshole."

"Hey now, is that any way to treat someone who pays for your salary?" Johnny smirked, leaning back and admiring Hilly unabashedly. 

"If you show me proof that you've paid taxes in the last decade, Johnny, I might think twice about how I speak to you." Tim motioned toward the door between them. "Boyd here?"

"He's in the office."

"Well, let's get on it, then."

"It's nice to meet you, ma'am. I think the Marshals up in Lexington can always use a feminine touch," Johnny said, leaning to the side of his chair to leer at Hilly. 

"Charmed," she muttered, moving around Tim and pulling open the bar door, not waiting for either of them. Tim and Johnny followed her inside, Johnny quickly blocking the way to the back with his chair. 

"Boyd!" Johnny shouted, his eyes never leaving Hilly as she wandered around the room, her hand on her holster as she took in the various decorations and vomit stains. "We got a couple federal friends here to visit!"

"It's always nice to see a familiar face," Boyd hollered as he came down the hallway, clapping his hands together. He grinned those stupid white teeth at Tim, but it faltered for a moment when he spotted Hilly. "Well, looks like you brought a brand new friend to make my acquaintance, Deputy Gutterson, I'm honored."

"This is Deputy O'Malley. This is Boyd Crowder, he's also an asshole. It's a family trait."

Hilly turned and nodded at Boyd, then continued her perusing around the room. Boyd nodded in approval as his eyes lingered on Hilly’s backside. 

"She's too pretty for you, Tim," he quipped, "but you make a nice pair nonetheless."

"I appreciate it. I got a couple questions for you."

"I can't imagine what queries you'd have for me, Deputy, as nefarious as my old business deals have been, I'm living my life as a happily engaged man to a beautiful woman. You remember my Ava? I'm afraid impending marriage has changed me for the better."

"I'm sure."

"Does she speak?" Boyd asked, pointing to Hilly.  She turned and he smiled at her. "I'd love to hear the voice that comes from such a stunning creature. See, I've always been a sucker for scars. Call it an inclination, if you will."

"Deputy Gutterson has some questions," Hilly said, stopping in front of a mirrored bar sign framed with fake gold. She stared at the frame for a few moments, and Boyd's demeanor stiffened.

"I'm lookin' for Devon Cox, you know him?"

Boyd looked coolly between Hilly and Johnny, then back to Tim, "He was previously in my employ, but I let him go sometime back. I don't approve of wife beaters."

"Yet you let Bowman beat up Ava for years, if I recall, before she ended that union herself," Tim grunted, squaring his shoulders as the carefree smile on Boyd's face faded. 

"I'm a changed man, Deputy. I no longer live with the seed of hatred in my heart. Lord works in mysterious ways, and all that."

"Boyd," Tim warned. He was already losing his patience for the wannabe crime lord's bullshit. 

"Last I heard, he was hidin' out in a trailer on his brother's property. Marty Cox. Though, I will warn you ahead of time, seeing as I'm a concerned citizen, that Marty didn't come back from the war right. You know what I mean, right Deputy? He's a little on edge, and paranoid. Won't take kindly to feds showing up at his place."

"I'll take my chances," he muttered, that familiar rage boiling beneath his skin that happened every time he came to Harlan. He hated this podunk shithole and everyone that lived in it. 

There was a clicking noise behind him, and when Tim turned, the mirrored frame had swung forward from the wall. Hilly grinned at him, and Tim felt himself smiling back. 

"How'd you know that was there?" he asked, looking back at Boyd for a second. It was a safe hidden in the wall, and though they didn't have a warrant to check it, it was nice to know it was there. 

"It's where I would've put it. Besides, I’ve seen this same wall safe for sale online."

"I think your business is finished here, Deputy Gutterson, but please do come by and visit again. Don't forget to bring your lady friend next time." Boyd motioned toward the door, and Tim and Hilly shared a knowing look before heading out. 

_____________________

Rachel texted him the address for Marty Cox. Tim left out Boyd’s warning, and Hilly didn’t seem to notice or care. 

It was a twenty minute drive through the backroads of Harlan to get to the Cox residence. 

“He always like that?” Hilly asked as they made yet another turn through the holler. She’d been mostly quiet since leaving the bar, and Tim had been grateful for a break from her rickshaw conversation style.

“Who?” “Crowder.”

“Which one?” “The one with the teeth,” she sighed, then shook her head. “He’s creepy.”

“Yeah, Boyd’s always like that. He and Raylan have some love affair because they dug coal together. Apparently around here it’s a real bonding experience.”

"Sounds like you don't approve."

"Every time shit hits the fan, it seems to come from Crowder or Harlan County. It gets old after a while," he told her. She nodded and leaned on the center console, her wispy perfume drowning him once more. 

It brought him back to their night together, which was probably why he didn't like when she got too close. Hilly was his coworker now, and he couldn't think about her like that, not anymore. It pissed him off, as his spank bank now had a big DO NOT ENTER section in it. 

She was soft, even when she was pushing and pulling and biting him. She tasted even better than she looked, and if he thought hard enough he could still feel her hot skin shuddering underneath his tongue. 

When she came she'd grabbed his hair as he lay between her thighs, his fingers pumping in and out of her as he coaxed her through her orgasm. It made his cock jump, and plunging himself into her, even through the condom… fuck , it had been exactly what he needed.

He shifted uncomfortably in his seat as he tried to dispel the memories. Probably wasn't a good idea to start sporting a stiffy around the new girl. 

"You never answered my question," Hilly said, her voice breaking him out of his lustful memories. 

"What question?"

"Was that 'breakup box' outside the courthouse?"

Tim sighed and glared out the windshield. He didn't want to talk about his ex-girlfriend to his one-night-stand-turned-coworker.  

"Does it matter?" 

"Mmm, no," she mused, waving her hand in front of her, "she's cute though, you should go for it."

"Her name is Abby. She's… 'breakup box.'"

"Like I said, sorry it happened, but I had a good Friday night because of it. Now I get the opportunity to torture you with all my secret knowledge about your sexual proclivities." 

Tim turned his glare to her, "Art told us Friday we couldn't sleep with the new girl."

"Ooh, shame you already did it, huh? Don't answer that."

"You know, I know about your sexual proclivities now, too."

"Ah, yes, but I'm very cute when I cum, so nobody will really worry about it."

"You saying I'm not?"

"Oh you definitely are, but according to the secretaries you're a little bit weird, so I'm betting the information benefits me more than you," Hilly reached over and patted his cheek,  "but I'll keep it to myself, Tim, don't worry. I'm well aware of how odd this situation is."

“You’re a really strange person, Helen.”

“So they tell me.”

Marty Cox wasn’t home, and neither was Devon. TIm and Hilly searched what parts of the property they could without a warrant, but there wasn’t much they could do but poke around and peep through windows. 

Tim dropped her off at the courthouse, where she gave him a cheeky wave and yet another unsettling comment, and made his way home. He pulled into his driveway and turned off the truck, sitting there for a moment as he prepared himself to go inside.

It was dark inside, and there was a bed there. The bed would be warm and he’d fall asleep quickly, but then he’d wake up again, screaming or dry-heaving. Then he’d drink too much, fall asleep again and the nightmares would be worse. 

Tim decided to brave the darkness, slowly trudging his way through his house as he shed his clothes. When he finally got to his bedroom he put on a pair of sweatpants and made his way back down the hall. 

He stopped outside his spare bedroom, thinking back to his conversation with Abby earlier that day. 

Read the note, Tim, then come see me. 

Tim grunted in annoyance, but opened the door and snatched the box from its place on the floor. He dropped it on the couch and then went into the kitchen to make himself a drink. 

Tim hadn’t seen Abby in over a month, why would she reach out to him now? What she told him at the courthouse made it clear she didn’t want to be together, or she would have just said so right there. 

The bottle clunked heavily on the counter as he sat it down, and Tim knocked back the entire drink before pouring himself another one. What the hell could she be in such a hurry to tell him after ghosting him for this long? 

Tim grumbled to himself once more as he headed into the living room. He plopped down on the couch, snatched the little cream colored card off the box and took another sip of his bourbon.

The paper scraped against the envelope as he pulled the letter from it. His eyes were watery from the long day, and his eyes automatically skimmed the paper before he really focused enough to read it. 

His eyes stopped halfway down the sheet as his breath caught in his chest. Tim’s ears began to heat up as his hands started to sweat. He read the words again, then again. He was reading it right. 

Tim, I hate to tell you like this, but I just can’t do it in person…

Yet to read the rest of the letter, Tim’s eyes had landed on the most important part of it. 

Abby was pregnant.

Tim was going to be a father.

#tim gutterson #justified #justified fx #justified fanfic #justified fanfiction #tim gutterson x oc #raylan givens #rachel brooks #art mullen #jacob pitts #ocapp #ocappreciation #oc fanfic #oc fanfiction #death from above #smurphyse #smurph writes #timothy gutterson

[the-dendrophile-bookdragon]

I Hate You (Affectionately) Part 11

I Hate You (Affectionately) Masterlist

Summary: Once you were friends. But everything changed one day…

Pairing: Santiago ‘Pope’ Garcia x fem!reader Warnings: childhood friends to enemies to adult lovers, slow burn, Santi is an idiot, angst, sadness

Your health increased by the day. After three days of bedrest your physical therapy. Your legs regained their strength. The boys, minus Santi, helped you every step of the way, literally. Benny and Will caught you often when you were about to fall. “Please stop catching me. I have to learn to stand up.” Both Miller brothers just laughed it off. ”We can’t help it. It’s our duty as your friends.” Sayed Will while Benny snickered in the background.

Frankie picked you up the day you were released. Sofia smiled from ear to ear as she saw you being rolled out of the hospital. “Tia! Tia!” You waved at her. Her little grin widened. She jumped up and down in her car seat. Frankie tried to calm her down without any results. Her father mumbled something about ‘sugar high’ and ‘no more in the morning’ under his breath. You giggled as Frankie grumpily mumbled under his breath. He looked down at you with a glare and huffed, “Watch out. In a few years you might have a sugar high kid too. Than you won’t laugh like that.” You only shrugged, “Yeah, but before this happens I need the right man.”

Frankie snorted. He looked up to the sky and thought about you ‘Mr. Right’. He was an idiot but he was right for you. You both were.

The car ride home was silent. Sofia immediately fell asleep when the car hit the road. Frankie hummed lowly to the song in the radio. Your phone’s messenger tone went off. You fished it out of your bag and read from whom it was. You opened it and read Benny’s invite to the bar to celebrate your discharge and recovery. “Cat, Benny is asking if you want to join us at the bar?” He nodded yes. You typed your answer and got a thumbs up emoji from your best friend.

Frankie got you settled in into your apartment. You thanked him as he left, “Thanks again for picking me up. Benny was so worried he couldn’t pick me up from the hospital. Hope the little firecracker isn’t going to be much trouble for you.” Frankie laughed, “It’s a deal packet with kids. You can’t get them without trouble. I wish you luck with your crutches. See you later.” You waved him goodbye and closed your front door when you couldn’t see him anymore.

You moved through your living room to your couch. It felt like you were as fast as a turtle with your crutches. Slowly and carefully you sat down on the soft cushions and turned on the TV.

Benny picked you up. As you reached the car you saw Sif sitting in the backseat. Will was behind the wheel. You looked at Benny with a raised eyebrow. He just shrugged, “It clicked. Don’t judge.” You tried to hold up your hands but with crutches it was a little hard to do.

The drive was quiet but not awkward. You looked out of the window and watched the lights pass by. At the bar you saw that Frankie occupied not your usual table but the one next to it. “I thought it would be better for you to sit at a lower table instead of the high chairs.” You nodded and smiled.

Will clapped his friend on the shoulder in greeting. He looked around before sitting opposite from Frankie, “Where is Pope?” Frankie chuckled, “You won’t believe it but he is on a date.” Everyone was shocked, eyes wide. You sat there looking at the table, feeling numb. “Everything good, love?” You looked to your right and saw Sif’s worried look. You only nodded.

You picked up your crutches. Everyone looked at you, “I forgot to go to the toilet before you picked me up. I really have to go. Can you order a cider for me?” Everyone nodded. Sif tried to stand up but you stopped her, “I can do it on my own. Thank you still for trying.” Sif nodded. Her eyes showed how worried she was about you.

Thankfully all toilet stalls were empty. You closed the door and dropped to the floor in front of the basinets. The tears you tried to hold back rolled freely down your cheeks. You curled into a ball. Your sobs rang through the whole bathroom.

You looked up as the door to the bathroom opened. You could make out the silhouette of Sif. “Oh sweety. Come here.” She took you into her arms, minding your back. “Hey, everything will be alright.” Stops wrecked through your body, “I-I-I thought we would get back together. He kissed me. We were getting back to normal. Why is he always playing with my feelings?” Sif sighted, “Man are pigs!” You only sniffled and nodded. “When you feel better we can go back. The guys are worried about you.” You sighted while snuggling into the nurse.

Next Chapter

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@nightlockcornucopia @katzenwahnsinn

#I Hate You (Affectionately) #santiago garcia x reader #santiago pope garcia x reader #santiago garcia fanfiction #santiago garcia imagine #santiago pope garcia #santiago garcia x you #santiago garcia #triple frontier fic

[roamingbadger]

‘Normal People’s Frank Blake on an actor’s life’ by Liadan Hynes

Full article below the cut (warning, it is long!):

‘I used to worry on set, ‘I’ve just done another mean thing’,” Frank Blake says with a rueful smile. We’re discussing what’s probably his most high-profile role to date, playing Alan in director Lenny Abrahamson’s TV adaptation of Sally Rooney’s Normal People, a show that went a long way towards getting many of us through lockdown one.

“There’s a bit where I throw water on Marianne. I just felt awful that day,” he says with a laugh. “You know, because I’ll throw water on her, and Lenny’s not going to go, ‘Good man’. They called cut, I stand in the bold corner for a while, Daisy [Edgar-Jones] gets dried off for the next take, where the same thing happens again.”

Alan is central character Marianne’s older brother, a man lost in his own stew of anger and resentment; a threatening character in both the book and screen versions of Normal People. In the past, Blake has commented on how it is necessary to find a way into a dark character, to find some sympathy. Otherwise, you’re just playing a tone, he says.

“You just have to find what makes a person human,” he says now. “Lenny was a great help there in doing the groundwork. Alan’s feeling a bit hard done by in life. He’s obviously got a bit of jealousy going on there — a bit of trauma from the loss of their dad, which is a tough thing to deal with.

“I think it’s symptomatic of a certain rural repression, that character. And a male rural repression, maybe, when we see, unfortunately, that so many young men don’t ask for help, and they go a certain way. I think it’s a nice contrast to Connell in that show, where actually he does go looking for help in what’s such an amazing scene — his therapy scene. So I think, yeah, that’s an interesting juxtaposition in the show.

“If someone just asked him, you might get something out of him, but no one does and everyone’s afraid to. That’s the energy he gives off. So, he’s probably unlikely to get help.”

It’s hard, he agrees, to portray that kind of darkness without descending into pantomime. “Particularly when that show was very much about Connell and Marianne, so you have to be comfortable in the fact that you’re there to serve the story. You have to be there to serve this part of the story, so I don’t have to be liked or whatever.”

Throwing water aside, they had the best craic on set, he says. “I used to always be jealous of the other cast members. I’d get pictures of them shooting a pool party, or all the cool, hot Trinity stuff. It was actually great craic with Aislín [McGuckin], who played our mum, and Daisy. We’d such a laugh in between scenes.”

Blake had come from performing in Louise O’Neill’s Asking For It at the Abbey Theatre before the Normal People auditions began, along with some other actors, including Paul Mescal who later appeared in the show.

“I think it was one of the last weeks of Asking For It that we were all auditioning for it, so it was quite funny actually. Not only were there actors from Asking For It, but there were plenty of other actors in the [Abbey] building, and you could just see people walking around with copies of Normal People,” he grins. “‘Ehhh, why are you reading that?’”

When he found out, months later, that he had landed the part, he was performing in another landmark Dublin theatre, The Gate. His agent let him know on the opening night of Tennessee Williams’ play The Glass Menagerie that he had been successful.

Blake, now 28, didn’t grow up knowing he wanted to be an actor, but at the same time, he had always been interested in theatre and movies. He hails from Tuamgraney, Co Clare, and is the youngest of three. “I think there was a latent actor in me there, but it was never something I did as a child or anything.”

His family ran an equestrian centre. He and his siblings would muck out the stables before school and get stuck in afterwards. “It gave you a good work ethic, anyway. It gave me a good maturity, in that way. And I saw so much of the country through travelling around to horse shows and stuff. It was a really interesting environment to grow up in.

“I wanted to do that as well, for a long time,” he continues of the world of horses. “It’s kind of a world I liked. I don’t know, I just kind of lost interest in it as I got older. People are always, ‘Oh that’s so amazing’. But I think when you grow up in that kind of environment, it’s almost like a bit of a chore.”

In his younger years, he didn’t know anyone who had made a career out of acting. “There were no stage schools around me. Now, there’s loads of things there, thankfully, for other people. And I think drama is about to become a subject in secondary school as well. If only!”

Dramatic outlets may have been limited, but from the age of four Blake had attended the annual amateur drama festival circuit each year — the plays were staged in the school hall. “My neighbour used to bring me. Every single night, there’d be different drama group doing a classical play. I’d seen every John B Keane play, Conor McPherson — I’d seen all of that stuff by the time I was 12.”

Eventually, aged 17, Blake performed in the community musical. “I was in the ensemble of Jesus Christ Superstar,” he laughs, adopting grand tones. “It wasn’t a school thing, it was the whole community. They used to let some schoolkids be part of the ensemble, so myself and a few of the lads just said, ‘Sure f**k it, we’ll throw ourselves in here.’ We were pretending that, ‘ah, this is just a bit of a laugh’, but I was secretly absolutely loving it. Nailing Jesus to the cross — that was my big role!” He grins at the memory.

Previously, he had planned to study psychology in university, but this experience pushed him to look into acting as a career. “It’s a bit of leap to be making,” he chuckles. “That sorted of turned my head a bit.”

He did an arts degree in NUI Galway, studying drama along with German and philosophy. It rapidly became clear though where his true interests lay. “I did eight plays in Dramsoc that year, and I think it quickly became apparent that that’s what I was into. I was still kind of in denial a bit — ‘Oh, that’s for the people over there’.”

Who are the people over there, I wonder? He’s not sure, he says, then jokes: “People in Dublin.” He adds: “The biggest obstacle is probably yourself, really, for a long time.”

Towards the end of that first year, Blake applied for a place in The Lir Academy, Ireland’s National Academy of Dramatic Art at Trinity College, without telling anyone. “In secret. Because I still didn’t know what I was at. You did three auditions over three months. I was skipping lectures, saying I was going to the doctor — stuff like that. And then I got in there.”

That felt amazing, he recalls, although he quickly realised he would have to tell his mother, and braced himself. “I remember getting ready to ring my mum, and be like, ‘I’m dropping out of college,’” he adopts, at this point, a sort of urgent, I won’t be dissuaded, tone. “‘I’m going to be a dropout.’ And expecting this big blowout, and being like, ‘Well I’m going anyway’.”

When he did ring, his mother was nothing but supportive and very proud. “I didn’t get to do any of the big arguments I’d practised,” he laughs.

Drama school was a somewhat different pace from an arts degree. But he relished it. “A lot is asked of you. But it pushed you so much outside of yourself that I loved it.” He particularly enjoyed the intensity of the schedule. “Looking back, you spend so much time waiting around as an actor, even if you’re busy, you’re still doing nothing. And to think that you got to go in there and you got to do something from morning until night, every day, that you loved. It’s just the best.”

Ending drama school can be a time of pressure — not everyone gets an agent. Blake did, however. “And then… you think you’re going to be a rock star,” he says with another laugh. “For most people, 99pc of people, you realise, ah, things are a bit different when you finish. You realise how hard it is. You’re just auditioning and getting no’s. Not even getting the no’s — not hearing back at all. It was just that for ages.”

He worked as a doorman in a hotel in Ballsbridge. He never considered giving up on acting, but he did begin to doubt himself. “And [I’d start to] think, ‘This isn’t what I thought it would be’. I did worry and think maybe it wasn’t for me for a while.”

Eventually, things began to pick up. “I started to realise then it’s about building a career, and it’s building blocks. Like, some people come out and they’re movie stars after a week. But I kind of realised you just chip away, doing small bits in theatre, and doing small bits on telly, or whatever is coming along. You eventually build up relationships. And after a couple of years, I could see that starting to pay off.”

Resilience is key for actors, he agrees. And the knowledge that this is a long-haul game. “Everyone finds it hard. You talk to people who you think are doing amazing, and the goalposts always move. And it’s always hard. You have to find the comfort in that.”

That said, it can be difficult. “It’s something I still find really, really challenging. Because you’ll always go through bouts of not working. Or things just being a bit different to how they were before, or how they will be. You just have to find the ease in that.”

He dislikes the nature of having to wait for someone else to give you a yes that comes with acting. “But it’s the reality of it. I’ve tried writing and stuff, as a way of taking back a bit of control, myself. I found great joy in that.”

He wrote a short film a few years ago based on Donal Ryan’s short story The Passion. “It was one of the most satisfying things I’ve ever done, because there was so much control in that. Being part of every aspect of a production, not just being told what to do. It was great, I loved it.”

It also demystified parts of the process, he reflects. “You think that’s for the people over there, and then you just do it, and you go, ‘Oh, right, I just had to do it’. So, I’ve gotten more into that now. I’ve written a few screenplays that are in development.”

Since Normal People, he has appeared in PBS costume drama Sanditon. He moved to London last year, having wanted to for years. “I love it. But I’m doing that classic thing of moving over to London and hanging out with a load of Irish people.”

He also appreciates that many of his friends are not in acting. It is good to have people who are not in his professional world. “When things aren’t going well, the last thing you should be doing is talking about all of the acting ever, when you could go out and kick a ball against the wall.”

For now, though, things are going well. Already this year, Blake has worked on film and in theatre. He is currently between jobs. “I’m doing that waiting thing,” he says, smiling. “I did a few bits this year. I’m just waiting for the next thing. There are a few things floating around.”

#frank blake #I find a lot of what he said about the actor's life resonated with me about writing #the bit about it being discouraging but you chip away and you realize it's about slowly building a life #anyway very interesting stuff and I hope he gets some other parts this year! #when it says he did theater this year: WHAT PRAY TELL #i've been literally scouring the internet to find out lol #edited to add the link to the original article #also I was at NUIG in summer 2011 when conceivably he would have been there too lol (but also probably not because it was summer)

[shinybluething]

I feel like this is a good time to share this, with the new, final(?), Jurassic Park film coming out.

Okay, to set the stage, we all know I'm old, right? This happened the weekend the first one came out, possibly on opening night, since we had to line up for an hour to get in. Barney the Dinosaur was all the rage among toddlers, I worked part time at a costume shop that did rentals of "Purple Dinosaurs" and we did a brisk business every weekend. A bunch of us decided to go see the much-anticipated new film together, several of us having read the book, and the rest of us being either or both huge fans of dinosaurs and scary films. It's opening weekend, so we have to stand in line for ages and ages, even at the local theater.

In line, behind our large and noisy group of twentysomethings, was a young mother with four little kids. Three two to five year olds, and one infant in a carrier. The toddlers were dancing in a circle around their mother singing the Barney theme song, on infinite repeat.

At first, we found it amusing, then a little irritating, then worrying, and finally someone went to tell her that this was the line for Jurassic Park, and not whatever kids film was also showing. She said that Jurassic Park was ABSOLUTELY the film she was here to see, and to not be concerned.

Shaking our heads, we left her to her children's tender mercies and unending singing. Eventually, the line started moving and we went in and found our seats, somewhere in the middle of the theater. We were, at this point, unaware of the location of Mommy and her brood. We're here for the dinosaurs.

The movie goes on, we're wowed by the effects. I get a bit weepy over the panoramic views of dinos and laugh at the giant dino poop with everyone else. And then, the tone changes, as expected. The jeep scene, with the T-rex and the bouncing cup of water happens.

It's quiet except for the soundtrack. Nobody's making any noise. The lawyer runs and hides in the bamboo crapper shack. The T-rex does her thing.

From the back of the theater, as the lawyer's kicking legs lift into the air, comes a piecing shriek.

"MOMMY! BARNEY'S EATING THE MAN!"

The entire theater bursts out laughing. We can't hear any further dialogue between Mommy and children, between the audience and the movie.

Those of us with the presence of mind to do so, look back to see, at the back of the auditorium, Mommy already standing and gathering her little ones to leave. She's at the door before an usher comes in to remove her.

She leaves, and the rest of us continue watching the film.

Fin, I guess.

Notes:

I have no idea who this woman was or where she went or what happened after that. She was clearly done with Barney the Dinosaur, though.

Those kids would be in their thirties now. I hope they survived the DIY aversion therapy. I've never met anyone else outside my friend group that was there who remembers this event.

#jurassic park #storytime #barney the dinosaur #is this bad parenting #Probably childhood trauma

[singledarkshade]

All That Glitters

Final Part

(Part One , Part Two, Part Three , Part Four , Part Five  and Part Six)

Joe watched Gideon slide into the seat in front of the computer they were using to try to track Rip, she scanned the information for a few moments, then began to type. She made a soft clicking with her tongue as she thought for a moment before starting to type again.

“Alright,” Gideon spoke up, “It looks as though we are receiving telemetry from the tracker but it’s not being translated by the system.”

“Why not?” Joe asked.

Gideon glanced round to him, “Just a glitch in the programming. I’m guessing this was put together very quickly.”

Lance nodded, “Yes.”

“That makes sense,” Gideon replied, “Okay, I am unscrambling the data and,” she opened the map, “We have a location.”

Lance grimaced, “Not good. There is no way we can get to the building, never mind inside it without being seen.”

“What about the sewer system?” Miranda suggested, “Isn’t there an underground system in that part of Star City?”

Joe turned to Lance who nodded, “That’s a good point. I need to make a quick call to make sure that there’s nothing blocking our way.”

“Do it fast,” Gideon said, “Because Druce has had him far too long already.”

-

 Rip felt ice fill his spine, “What did you say?”

Druce took Rip’s face in his hands, “How could I not recognise those eyes? You’ve grown up so well, although disappointing that you went into law enforcement. Not the boy I raised.”

Rip pulled himself away from the older man’s grip, “The boy you raised? You tossed me off a building.”

“I won’t justify my actions to you,” Druce stated.

“And there it is,” Rip snapped, “You can’t even apologise. You expect everyone to do as they’re told no matter what.”

Druce frowned, “This is not a democracy, Michael.”

“That’s not my name,” Rip spat, “You killed Michael Carter when you threw him off a roof. I’m who emerged from the plaster casts, the hospital, and the years of therapy. You know,” Rip let out a harsh laugh, “I spent years being afraid of you and facing you was my biggest nightmare. But now,” Rip shook his head, “All I see is the spineless bastard who used children and destroyed lives. The man who thought money was always the answer to everything, I’m assuming you bribed the doctor in the prison to fake your death. What was it? A pill when you were getting a routine check-up?”

Druce tilted his head in thought, “I wondered what I would do when I found you again, Michael.”

“You’re not listening to me,” Rip sighed annoyed.

“But,” Druce continued to ignore him, “I did not imagine you would be my boy.”

“You really are delusional,” Rip grimaced before asking, “Do you think I’m happy to be reunited with you? I’ve spent my life getting as far from you and what you did to me as I possibly can.”

“And yet to find the girls,” Druce noted, “You came to me for help.”

“I used you for information. Seeing you now,” Rip shook his head, “You’re not the bogeyman that haunted me as a broken child. You’re nothing to me.”

Druce stared at Rip for a moment before he slammed his fist into Rip’s face, the chair overbalanced and fell onto the floor.

Spitting out blood Rip winced as Druce stood above him, anger in his eyes.

“I’m sure you remember how I deal with insolence,” Druce said ominously.

 -

 Miranda watched the police get ready to leave and rescue Rip.

“Detective,” she said to West, “Gideon wants to keep an eye on the telemetry from the tracker in case Druce decides to move.”

West nodded, “Officer Decker will be staying with you. Any issues get him to contact us.”

Miranda nodded and returned to where Gideon was sitting studying the blip that showed where Rip was. They sat in silence until the police left the room, with one single officer left. He nodded to them but stayed on the other side of the room.

Miranda took Gideon’s hand and slipped the USB drive Rip had given her before they left Central City into it. Gideon tilted her head confused but kept her eyes on the screen.

Miranda wrapped her arm around Gideon’s shoulder hugging her close before whispering, “Access Druce’s computer system through the tracker. The information on the drive makes it look as though Druce did everything and we’re innocent.”

“What?” Gideon breathed stunned.

Miranda smiled, “Rip’s idea.”

“That man is just too good for us,” Gideon murmured as she put the drive in the computer and began to type.

“I know,” Miranda whispered.

Gideon finished working and removed the drive before passing it back to Miranda. She brought up the information so they could track the police as they headed towards Rip hoping that he was safe.

 -

 Rip heard the soft click at his ear letting him know Gideon had connected to the system and that meant Joe was coming. He had no idea how they would get into the warehouse considering there was no way to hide but knew he had to keep Druce focussed on him so he would miss any signs of incursion until it was too late. Finding a paperclip on the floor, Rip palmed it as he could use it to escape the cuffs.

“You know how I feel about my children talking back,” Druce stated as he pulled Rip off the ground, “If we are to heal our rift, you must remember your manners.”

Getting annoyed by the man’s insistence on ignoring everything Rip had said, a thought suddenly occurred to him.

“You need me for something,” Rip mused, seeing Druce stall ever so slightly, “Something from when I was a child that you didn’t realise at the time. Let me guess, you used my fingerprints to lock something away?”

“I simply want our family together once more,” Druce said, he tapped his finger and thumb together.

Rip stared at Druce for a moment, hoping Druce didn’t notice that he was unlocking himself as he asked, “Do you know why I was able to beat you at poker?”

“You cheated,” Druce replied, “Just as I taught you to.”

“I learned all your tells,” Rip told him, “I worked out when you were lying to me.”

Druce smiled once more, “This is why you are still my boy.”

“Of course,” Rip sighed, just as he unlocked the cuffs, “You have to take credit for everything good about us. Nothing was ever our achievement.”

Druce frowned, “Watch your tongue, Michael. I am giving you some leeway as you’ve been out of the circle for many years, but I won’t take it much longer.”

“Sir,” two guards rushed into the room, “We have intruders. You need to get out of here.”

Druce nodded and motioned to Rip, “Bring him.”

As the two men approached him, Rip revealed he was no longer restrained. Punching the first guard before slamming his elbow into the face of the second man. Both went down easily, neither expecting Rip to attack so his hits had more of an effect. Turning to Druce, Rip saw annoyance in the older man’s eyes as the sound of Rip’s rescuers became louder.

“This time,” Rip said coldly, “You will not be faking your death, and you will never get out of prison.”

Druce snarled as he tried to punch Rip, who stepped out the way before realising what Druce was reaching for. Jumping forward, Rip grabbed the dagger, but Druce caught his arm and tried to pull it away from Rip. The awkward angle made it difficult for Rip to get away from the older man, but it also meant Druce couldn’t get the dagger out of Rip’s grip.

The door burst open, and Joe appeared in the lead of the team Lance had put together for the mission. Taking the distraction, Rip managed to pull himself back and Druce lost his grip on Rip.

“Zaman Druce,” Joe yelled, “You are under arrest. Stay where you are.”

Druce turned to Rip who gripped the dagger tightly as the man he had once looked up to as a father stared at him, stunned when Druce flung himself forward. Rip automatically raised his hands to defend himself, forgetting about the weapon he held, gasping as it slid into Druce’s heart.

Shaking he watched Druce fall back, Rip dropped the dagger feeling Joe take a hold of his arms while two officers dropped down to check on Druce before closing the man’s eyes letting them know Druce was dead this time.

“You’re okay,” Joe said softly as Rip began to breathe harshly, “Let’s get you out of here.”

“Wait,” Rip forced himself to calm his breathing, “There’s a picture in that box. It’s me as a child. I can’t leave it lying around.”

Joe nodded and retrieved the photo, smiling amused, “Wow, you were a scrawny kid.”

Rip gave a soft laugh but stopped Joe from making him leave, “He faked it once before. I need to know he’s actually dead.”

“I’ll check,” Joe assured, crouching down and checking for signs of life, “He’s definitely gone this time.”

Turning to the door, Rip sighed in relief.

It was truly over.

                                 *********************************************

 Rip looked up from his reading when the doorbell rang.

It was now three days since Druce had died, Rip had made sure multiple times of the fact with Lance and Joe assuring him it was real each time he asked. He felt liberated knowing that Druce was finally gone but also the fact that Rip had faced him and realised the power Druce held over him wasn’t real. Rip no longer felt haunted by his past.

There had been days of debriefings during which he had only briefly seen Miranda and Gideon. The information on Druce’s computer exonerated them not only of all crimes but confirmed how Druce had intimidated and controlled them it meant that they were exonerated of everything. Rip’s work to make sure they got away from their former master had been exemplary.

Opening the door, Rip smiled to see the two women standing there.

“Come on in,” he stepped back allowing them inside and closing the door, “How are you?”

Gideon threw her arms around him, hugging him tightly, “Thank you for coming for me.”

Rip smiled, sliding his fingers through her hair, “I would never leave you with him.”

Gideon pulled away and allowed Miranda to hug him too.

“I can’t believe you created the evidence to exonerate us,” Miranda breathed, “And that it worked.”

Rip shrugged, “Don’t waste your chance at having a normal life.”

“Are you alright?” Gideon asked concerned, “We overheard how Druce died.”

“Surprisingly yes,” Rip moved them to the living room and took a seat on the couch, “I feel that I can finally put my past to rest, I no longer feel the spectre of the monster that haunted my childhood. And as much as I don’t like that he died, or how he did it, I know for sure now that he can’t hurt anyone else. Especially not you two.”

Miranda sat on one side while Gideon sat on the other, “You’ve given us a chance to have a life. We have money set away and can now do whatever we want to.”

“And we promise,” Gideon took over, “Whatever we do, it will be legal.”

Rip smiled, “Good.”

Gideon touched his cheek, turning him to her, “It’s all thanks to you.”

She kissed him, before turning him to face Miranda.

“We leave tomorrow for London,” Miranda said, her lips brushing against Rip’s, “Thought we should thank you.”

Rip leaned into her kiss before murmuring, “Or you thought this was cheaper than a hotel room.”

Gideon giggled, “Maybe a little.”

“We can go if you want,” Miranda murmured, pressing her lips to his neck, “Or we can say goodbye properly.”

Rip chuckled, “If those are my choices…” he stood and offered them his hands.

Smiling, Gideon and Miranda allowed him to pull them to stand before they headed to his bedroom for one final night together.

                                 *********************************************

 “Gideon,” Miranda tapped on the bathroom door, “Are you okay?”

It had been almost seven weeks since they’d said goodbye to Rip and left Central City. After spending the night with Rip, they each said goodbye to him personally.

Although they were trying to work out what they were going to do now, for the first time ever they felt like they could do anything and were currently renting a small house while they searched for the perfect place to call home.

“Gideon?” Miranda called again when no reply came.

“I’m okay,” Gideon said softly, “I just…I have to talk to you about something.”

“Same here,” Miranda replied, “But it’s not easy to talk through the door.”

The door opened slowly, and Gideon appeared, she looked a little pale as she stepped out before walking into the living room.

Miranda took a seat at her side, “What’s wrong?”

“You know I’ve been feeling sick for the past few days,” Gideon said.

Miranda nodded and Gideon took a quick breath before showing Miranda the positive pregnancy test in her hand.

“Oh,” Miranda breathed before she pulled the one that she had taken earlier out her pocket and handed it to Gideon, “Snap.”

#fic #legends of tomorrow #rip hunter #gideon #miranda coburn #joe west #zaman druce #alternate universe