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yaboylevi · 3 years

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Hi! I love ur blog, especially ur Snk Metas and Ereri metas. What are your thoughts on the whole “Eren has always been like this” (always been evil or capable of great evils like genocide) that a lot of people seem to agree on? I’ve always had a hard time believing in that idea because we’ve been shown multiple times that Eren is capable of sympathy and empathy, so to say he’s ALWAYS been like this is wrong.

Hi! Thank you!!

Looking through my snk 121 tag I found that I have already received similar questions, so I’m gonna link one here if you want the short version of it. Even if it was something I wrote up right after the chapter was out, it’s not like my opinion has changed much... more like, my faith in Isayama writing a decent conclusion and explanation in regards to Eren has plummeted in the past year and a half.

But anyway, now we have some new information pertaining Eren, so I feel like I can add more on this moment and my take on it in light of such new perspective.

Let me preface this with: Eren hates what he’s doing, is despising every second, was scared of his future visions, often paralyzed, desperate to find a better solution than this, because he knows - let me repeat it - HE KNOWS this is horrifying. We had hints throughtout the story, but many have ignored them. For me, Eren going through grief and apologizing for something he hadn’t even done yet in chapters 131 was no shocker at all, but I guess some people may have actually been surprised, I don’t know. It was right there since the Marley arc and his breakdown over Sasha, but many have completely misinterpreted that scene, denying it was desperation that he was feeling, so it was nice to finally have confirmation. Kinda.

However, you know, Isayama doesn’t seem to have picked a side on his characterization of Eren. Or maybe there is still something that’s concealed, because everything we have seen, isn’t evething that has happened, and it doesn’t explain yet some things about Eren and, relevant to this post, why Eren has decided to give up and give in to his future self’s memories of destruction. I’m sorry, but Eren believing “there is no other way, other than killing the whole world’s population, because the future cannot be changed” due to some memories is not gonna cut it, especially because we haven’t seen him fight too hard against it. In my opinion, at least. Or maybe he did, but we haven’t been shown.

The most hopeful part of my heart wishes he is already trying to change things, in a very roundabout and secret way, but the tired and logical part is done hoping. After all, Eren is alternating between being hellbent on going through with rumbling the world, and being absolutely horrified by it. I’ve been getting whiplash every month for a couple of years now.

As for your actual question, and that line during the Paths Time Travel...

Let’s start from here, shall we? That whole conversation with Zeke in Paths was to Zeke what chapter 112 was to Mikasa and Armin, imo. Chapter 121, huh, same numbers...but anyways. I think I have already wrote it somewhere, but I believe Eren lied, and purposely hurt Zeke. To make him, and Mikasa and Armin, realize something and act accordingly, maybe against Eren himself.

In Mikasa’s case, the realization was gradual since then, because Eren’s lies kickstarted it immediately. In Armin’s case, I think we still haven’t seen the full potential of it, though it may come next chapter - and I mean the “You were influenced by Bertolt, an enemy” angle. I am surprised Armin hasn’t followed this reasoning in regards to Eren, who has three titans within him, none of them particularly allied with Paradis. We left Armin seeing Bertolt, who is, in turn, watching him. I wonder if a conversation won’t happen right off the bat in chapter 136.

Anyhow, Eren, in chapter 112, also very much hit Armin and Mikasa where it hurt them the most - which is the same thing he did to Zeke here, bringing up his hate for Grisha and how it was the only think really fuelling him, and went through all the effort of making him reconcile with Grisha. Mmm, sus. Am I the only one feeling it’s sus??? I really have to wonder if he doesn’t kind of want/need Zeke to stop him, just like I believe he did with Armin and Mikasa. After all, there was no need to antagonize them and make them have reasons to stop caring for him, if he didn’t want to be stopped.

So, if it wasn’t already clear, Eren is a big liar, and he’s good at it if you don’t know him (and Zeke, Armin, and Mikasa have proven they don’t know or understand him very well at times). His acting skills have been shown all the way back in the cabin scene when he was 8 years old and tricked those traffickers.

There is another layer to these lies that I’d like to touch upon, though.

The line you were inquiring about feels exactly like his “I am free” in chapter 112. He sounds so sure, but it is a freaking lie.

See how both Armin and Mikasa are confused by such a bold, out-of-the-blue statement, the same way Zeke asks Eren “Since birth?” because, like, what is that all even about?

Eren has been feeling trapped in his own future memories to the point that his freedom of choice even existing anymore has become a big question mark. There is no freedom in following the path you were shown.

Eren’s urge to save someone from “having their freedom solen” by “physically assaulting the perpetrators first” has never, ever meant that he was willing to or okay with sacrificing innocents. Quite the opposite, in fact. There have been whole arcs about that. About Eren freaking out over people dying for him, refusing to sacrifice friends for the bigger picture, grieving for or sympathizing with innocents losing their lives or having them destroyed by some bigger threat. That has not changed.

So the big question remains: Why?

With these outrageous and confident statements about himself, I don’t think Eren is merely lying to his interlocutor to change their perception of him. I think he is lying to himself as well in the meantime. It looks like it did the trick, or not - based on how you want to interpret it. He really has been dissociating hard during his rampage.

But it all depends on what Isayama's angle is with Eren. In 112 Eren seemed to believe his “I am free” statement because he had an instant reaction to Armin challenging it. At the same time, now that we also have chapter 130-131 to enrich our reading, there is no way Eren felt free into the choices he made after hearing Willy’s declaration of war. He saw a terrifying future, he hoped against hope that it would change, but felt powerless and gutted and desperate that all pointed to such a future being unchangeable. So I do wonder if maybe he didn’t end up lying to himself - subconsciously or not - that he is free... and that he is always been this way - a cold-blooded murderer who did it all for justice.

Zoom in on Eren forlornly watching himself as a kid show pure kindess to a girl who just went through the most traumatizing experience in her life.

For the matter, I don’t believe Eren “has always been this way”. I actually don’t believe he’s ever been that way. I don’t know why many(?) people just accept whatever Eren says at face value, ignoring all context surronding it.

As I posted very recently, it doesn’t make sense for Eren to go from one extreme to the other without a better excuse, or explanation, or a more believable writing of it...or a plot twist that I guess I will wait for for another 4 months:

Eren came to realize that outside the walls people are just...well, people. There are good ones everywhere, people who suffered just like him, people who deserve better, certainly don’t deserve to be caught up in the Rumbling, people who have lives, children, moms, loved ones. This is highlighted again in chapter 131, because maybe, when Eren brought it up in the basement with Falco and Reiner, people didn’t think he was being genuine. So Isayama shows us again that Eren truly believed that.

And yet, the chapter before, Eren put those very same people on the same level of Titans when he used to think Titans were scum, a nightmare sent to eat them alive, because he addressed them with “匹”, a derogatory counter when applied to people, because it is usually used for small animals.

The parallel to how he used to feel towards Titans is smacked in our faces, because in Japanese, it’s the same exact line. He now feels that way about people.

...What?

It doesn’t make sense, right?

Because really, the same way Eren’s first impulse in Marley was to save Ramzi when he was being beaten up (and threatened with a worse fate than some bruises), the same way Eren helped him regardless and again went against 3 full-grown men, it’s the same way Eren rushed to Mikasa’s rescue when he didn’t even know her... or the same way he pushed himself into a Titan’s mouth just to save Armin. it doesn’t come from a sentiment of “I need to punish these monsters because they are threatening me”. It comes from a natural, intrinsic need to help and save others. It is deeply saddening that at the end of this journey, with Ramzi, he just feels like this natural predisposition of his is just a fake and turns him into a hypocrite.

So for Eren to say he has always been that way while looking at his 8 years old self stabbing a human trafficker in the chest to save a little girl to try and explain why he’s killing innocent people who happens to be living alongside “the bad guys” is a false equivalence. Either it’s a lie Eren tells himself and to Zeke to make both of them believe this is what Eren is, and has always been, and there is nothing they could do to prevent it - in a sort of twisted liberation from guilt because “if I was always like this, then you and I both shouldn’t have expected anything different”...

...or it’s Isayama’s failed attempt at presenting a theoretical concept he liked and talked about in interviews, suddenly turning Eren into a poster boy for it and canceling previous sides of Eren’s complexity as a character. I would like to believe Isayama hasn’t lost his magic touch this badly, but every day I’m less sure of it.

My opinion, for what is worth, is that that line you quoted is something he said to trick Zeke into detaching himself from Eren and going against him - breaking the bonds of love all around him has been a very deliberate choice Eren has made post time-skip - and at the same time it’s something Eren is trying to believe himself, in a desperate attempt at explaining to his own conscience that he was destined to bring such destruction, that he was always capable of it, and that there is a sort of justice in it where there isn’t. And he knows, deep down. That’s why he dissociates in the end.

In a very twisted, self-deprecating way, Eren is a liar to everyone, himself included. He has become an unreliable narrator about himself. Eren has completely shut down because he cannot stand what he is doing.

And I would very much like to know why he gave up on trying to find a different solution, if that’s what it is that happened, and why he sounds like a different person every other scene he appears in, in the next 4 months.

#eren yeager #snk spoilers #snk meta #shingeki asks

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supertransural · 3 years

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Beyond the Mat, sort of meta?

Ok so for some personal context, I’ve been rewatching all of Supernatural and i have the firm intention to keep the show on repeat on my computer/tv until i’ve fully binged it 15 times (never fear, I am already perfectly aware of how bad a decision this is). I wrote this post with a frantic need to get all the thoughts out, but it happened to be 3am at the time, and I realized I had to make gifs and upload them which was obviously too much work for a sleep deprived brain. I put it off until the next day, but ended up procrastinating and now it's been sitting in my drafts for 3 months and I thought hey this is a good time to finish it up (it could be argued that i'm polishing up this thing at 5am and this doesn't seem to be an issue for my will to get this done this time around, although I am heavily caffeinated so maybe that has something to do with it, go figure).

Anyways that’s besides the point. At the time I had just gotten to 11x15, Beyond the Mat. I’ve seen people write a lot about how parallels between Sam and Dean’s love lives/interests are part of the subtext about Dean’s bisexuality. I’ve also read people's works about how Gunner is pretty obviously one of Dean’s youth celebrity crushes. But (and I might just be a bit blind or haven’t looked hard enough) I haven’t seen a lot about the parallel between Sam/Rio and Dean/Gunner.

So let's get down to business, shall we?

The scene I will be focusing on starts out with Dean utterly star struck, sort of mumbling awkwardly his reasoning for coming up to Gunner (x) (x). Interestingly enough, Sam does the exact same thing with Rio (x) (x), while Dean is in the other corner clasping Gunner's hand for way too long and way too tight, and giving him the “i’ve loved you ever since i met you” look (x) (x).

Now since Sam’s crush is strictly heterosexual and we all know Sam’s interest in women, he outright says it to Rio (this is, after all, the CW) (x) (x). Dean on the other hand doesn’t verbalize it in so many words (the CW), but cmon... That fluster when Gunner winks at him later on?? (x) (let's not forget the little leg pat (x) that is probably still etched in Dean's memory amongst the 20 best things that ever happened to him, behind the previously-mentioned-wink and the Cartwright Twins) Or his reaction to Gunner patting his arm, "ok ok don't panic, it's not like your childhood crush just touched you oh wait". And Literally His Unwavering Smile The Whole Way Through. Jacting choices, people, Jacting choices (x).

Sam saves himself by steering the conversation towards a type of "where are they now?" interview, and Rio follows his not-so-subtle attempt, with a heavily implied tint of nostalgia for the good old days (x). Dean pulls a very similar stunt, mentioning something about his and Gunner's past (x) (x). Rio and Gunner's faces in those clips resemble each other quite a great deal: the emotion is the same, regret.

I really love that parallel because it’s really just “in your face”. You see Dean getting all flustered, at that point you could still say “hey i love [insert celebrity] and i don’t have a crush on them, but i’d probably still react that way around them”. (First of all, if I were you, I'd go on a journey of soul searching because hello, it’s ok to have crushes on celebrities you wish you didn’t, we’ve all been 12 and we’ve all seen Twilight and we’re all ashamed, and second of all, would you really and I mean really react that same way?) But then, enters Sam and his old crush, from the same field, basically the same time period, the same place and roughly the same "community". And it’s an unapologetic crush, not just a “hhhahaha i loved your uh.... your work.... as a uh kid haha.....”. Nonono. He says it, he tells her that he “used” (i’m not sure it’s completely gone, just like Dean) to have a crush on her. And then boom, parallel.

The way the two interact with both “celebrities” isn’t that different, if anything, Sam is less awkward around Rio than Dean is with Gunner. I’m betting the reason why is that since Sam’s crush is a woman, he has 1: talked about it openly before with his family (a poster of your crush on your wall is a good way to do that) and 2: talked to other crushes like her before. Dean, for obvious reasons, has not. Not a man, maybe some girlfriends, but he was never open (specifically not to John) about a potential crush he had on the big wrestler man in the ring, because he’s supposed to be this manly manly ladies man. He’s much more awkward because he hasn’t had much of an opportunity to talk to his crushes that might have been men, so the entire ordeal is wayyy more foreign to him. And he was also just a fan, so the whole “oh my god oh my god” of the crush is added to the already existing “oh my god oh my god” of his inner (and outer let's not kid ourselves) fanboy self.

Dean’s reaction is incidentally very similar to the one he has in the Fat Spa in 9x13, The Purge, with the character called Larry, Maritza’s husband. Dean’s awkward, goes too far, slightly flustered, and he’s pretty clearly not thrown off because of Maritza in that interview room, his gaze is mostly going from Sam to Larry then back to Sam. He lightly brushes over Maritza but barely looks at her (x) (x).

I’d also like to point out that when Gunner enters the stage, there’s a hint at a bi flag created by the light show, blink and you'll miss it (x). But then again that could just be the fact that those lights look pretty together and I'm completely insane. I’m not going to push that one too far, but since Gunner winks at Dean after that, which as I said before, makes Dean look adorably happy and flustered..... Take that as you will.

There's a thousand other scenes relevant to Dean being very blatantly bi-coded in Beyond the Mat (seriously, it's almost as obvious as the siren episode) but I really just wanted to focus on the parallel this time. I might go even more in depth on that episode (or do it bit by bit) if I ever find the will to make more gifs and string intelligible words together to create coherent sentences, and give off the impression of a sane mind. Might even throw in some The Purge meta for fun. Yes my definition of fun is quite warped.

#this took much too long #i'm just so bad at gifs and my wifi doesn't help #uploading takes hours #anyways imma shut up now #i've talked far too much already #spn meta #spn 11x15 #beyond the mat #spn 9x13 #spn analysis #spn #supernatural #bidean #bi dean #dean #dean winchester

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dipulb3 · 3 years

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Analysis: Female directors are having a moment

New Post has been published on https://appradab.com/analysis-female-directors-are-having-a-moment/

Analysis: Female directors are having a moment

In the year of our Lord 2021, it feels like female directors are finally getting more opportunities — and more acknowledgment.

Take, for example, this past Sunday’s Golden Globe Awards.

Three women were nominated in the best director category for the first time.

Only one woman had ever won the category prior to Sunday, and that was Barbra Streisand in 1984 for “Yentl.”

Here are some of the women who are making waves and headlines in Hollywood:

Chloé Zhao: The “Nomadland” director became the first woman of Asian descent and only the second woman ever to win the best director award at this year’s Golden Globes.

The film’s star, Frances McDormand, told The New York Times Zhao really understood the actress’ affinity for the character who packs up her life in a van and becomes part of an older community of people who work odd jobs across the country.

“Chloé tapped into the truth of it which was at different points of my life, I’ve said to my husband, ‘I can’t take this anymore, I’m dropping out,'” McDormand said.

Regina King: The acclaimed actress-turned-director was up against Zhao at the Globes.

She has been on quite a streak in her career the past few years, including nabbing the best supporting actress Oscar for “If Beale Street Could Talk” in 2019.

Now, the former child star is being hailed for her big screen directorial debut in “One Night in Miami,” adapted from Kemp Powers’ stage play about a meeting between Cassius Clay, Jim Brown, Sam Cooke and Malcolm X.

The night of the Golden Globes, King told “E!” it was “bittersweet” that she, Zhao and Emerald Fennell marked the first trio of female nominees, given that this is 2021.

Emerald Fennell: Another actress who has stepped behind the camera (we are starting to see a trend here), she has received critical acclaim for writing, directing and producing the thriller “Promising Young Woman,” starring Carey Mulligan.

The movie is not only cheeky but gets into some uncomfortable territory, so much so that it has been praised for turning the revenge genre on its ear.

“It’s just part of the fun of making something, the smoke and mirrors and the misdirections,” Fennell told IndieWire. “I love all that stuff, all of my favorite movies have that sort of thing in them. It’s very interesting, isn’t it, how much we want violence, how much instinctively as an audience we’re begging for blood.”

Robin Wright: “The House of Cards” star did some directing on that Netflix series, so she wasn’t a total neophyte when it came to both starring in and directing her first feature film, “Land.”

Wright plays a woman struck by a family tragedy who gives up her successful life in the big city and moves to a remote area in Wyoming.

She told Women’s Wear Daily that she was delighted with the film’s reception so far.

“We feel so blessed that people are feeling the movie,” Wright said. “It is very relevant to what’s going on today, of being disconnected from our loved ones. We’re not living the norm. The message in this movie is about that very thing.”

These leading female directors represent just a handful of creatives proving women are making inroads on the Hollywood scene.

The numbers don’t lie: For the second consecutive year, the percentages of women directing top-grossing films increased, reaching “recent historic highs,” while the overall percentages of women working in key behind-the-scenes roles remained relatively stable, according to a study by San Diego State University released in January.

“Women accounted for 16% of directors working on the top 100 grossing films in 2020, up from 12% in 2019 and 4% in 2018,” wrote study author Martha M. Lauzen, founder and executive director of SDSU’s Center for the Study of Women in Television and Film. “Women comprised 18% of directors on the top 250 films in 2020, up from 13% in 2019 and 8% in 2018.”

A rising tide raises all ships, especially when a woman is at the helm, so here’s to more female directors on the horizon.

For your weekend

Three things to watch:

‘Coming 2 America’

Prince Akeem and Semmi are heading back to Queens, New York. Eddie Murphy and Arsenio Hall reprise their respective roles for the sequel to the hit 1988 film.

This time the prince is in search of his son and heir to the kingdom of Zamunda. My question is what have the rose petal droppers been up to all this time?

“Coming 2 America” starts streaming Friday on Amazon Prime.

‘Boss Level’

Former special forces agent Roy Pulver (Frank Grillo) is trapped in a time loop that constantly repeats the day of his murder. To break the cycle, he must hunt down Col. Clive Ventor (Mel Gibson) while also trying to save his ex-wife (Naomi Watts).

That sounds like some seriously fast-paced action.

“Boss Level” starts streaming Friday on Hulu.

‘Biggie: I Got a Story to Tell’

March 9 marks the 24th anniversary of the unsolved murder of rapper Christopher Wallace, aka Biggie Smalls or The Notorious B.I.G., at age 24.

Arguably one of the best and most beloved hip-hop artists of all time, Wallace is the subject of a new doc that looks at the legacy of his life and death. Currently streaming on Netflix, with “rare footage and in-depth interviews, this documentary celebrates the life of The Notorious B.I.G. on his journey from hustler to rap king.”

So, call your friends and let them know so your crew run-run-run, your crew run-run to catch it.

Two things to listen to:

Sweden has blessed us with the likes of ABBA and Spotify. Now add Zara Larsson to that list.

The 23-year-old singer, who got her start as a youngster on a TV talent show, is dropping her third studio album, “Poster Girl,” on Friday.

March is the month we celebrate women — and who is more empowering than Oprah Winfrey?

The answer to that is no one.

Check out “Oprah’s SuperSoul Conversation‪s” podcast if you want to feel motivated, inspired or just need the uplifting vibe that is trademark Oprah. ‬

One thing to talk about:

Are we over awards shows?

My Appradab colleague Brian Lowry reported that “Globes ratings plummeted more than 60% from the 18.3 million viewers who watched last year, per Nielsen data, to an average audience of 6.9 million.”

Yikes.

With the pandemic going on you would think plenty of people would be tuning in to shows like the Golden Globes, but, apparently, not. Even in a “normal year,” there seems to be less enthusiasm for award shows than there used to be, and that begs the question if Hollywood needs to find a different way to celebrate the industry.

The pandemic is causing us all to reevaluate things.

Something to sip on

Looking for a new show to watch? We asked some of our friends around Appradab what TV binge has helped them decompress in the time of Covid.

Phil Mattingly, senior White House correspondent

I basically have an encyclopedic knowledge of Bravo shows due to my wife’s fandom/the disappearance of sports the first few month of Covid. Not sure I should acknowledge that publicly.

Alisyn Camerota, Appradab New Day anchor

I’ve been watching “Succession.” It depicts a dysfunctional, rotten world, and somehow I find that soothingly distracting from our daily stress.

Stephanie Elam, Appradab correspondent

Fantasy, take me away! I’ve turned to shows that allow me to escape reality — “Once Upon a Time” with my daughter, “Lovecraft Country” and “His Dark Materials” without her.

Ana Cabrera, Appradab Newsroom anchor

“Criminal Minds” on Netflix. I know it’s old, but I’m a newcomer to it! I’m a sucker for mystery and suspense.

Pop back here next Thursday for all the latest entertainment happenings that matter.

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cyclone-rachel · 4 years

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So, I don’t actually remember when I first heard of Supergirl.

I was aware that that character existed, in as much as I knew of Transformers, maybe, or Harry Potter. Actually, along with Harry Potter and Star Wars, I discovered Supergirl in 2015- although unlike those, which happened in summer, I found her in the fall, the day after her show premiered.

When you go to my blog and search that tag chronologically, the first post that comes up is her costume, which I apparently reblogged on March 8th, 2015. I don’t remember that, nor do I remember the lead-up to the show starting, but I remember being in the Owings Mills branch of the Baltimore County public library system (which was in the same building as the community college I went to) when I watched that first episode, the day after it premiered. I also remember that I was watching Gravity Falls at the same time, and that episode was… weird. To say the least. It was the beginning of that show’s series finale, so of course they were going out on a high note.

Anyway. Again, I’m not sure what my reaction to the first episode was, but I know I liked it enough to create a playlist for it starting on October 28th, and I kept reblogging posts and gifsets about it as I continued watching it from that point. It was something, along with Agent Carter when that show came back for its second and final season, that I could watch with my mom, even though she didn’t pay attention, and that was a good thing for me. I remember asking my parents if we had CBS, and telling them I wanted to watch something on it on Mondays at 8 PM. I didn’t know anything about Supergirl other than her name when the show started, but I wanted to know more.

And as I kept watching, captivated by the relationship of the Danvers sisters as well as pretty much everything else, I became obsessed, to the point that my mom, when talking to my aunt, referred to it as my favorite show- which she was right about. From the second episode, I tried my best to watch it live, which I attempted to do for every episode in the first season aside from episode 12, Bizarro, which I couldn’t watch because the power was out that night. But other than that, I had a great watching experience, and the show was kind of an escape from my college work, with Kara as a character I loved and could look up to.

Also, there was a Brainiac in the show, and I was really into Brainiac, so I readily accepted Indigo/Brainiac 8, especially because her episode had a Legion ring and I loved that a lot. But that was only a 3-episode arc, and I loved the show even after she died.

Season 2 started, I was at college away from home, and was planning to watch the episodes the days after they aired, on the CW website. I didn’t particularly care what network the show was on, it was back, and I was really excited about it. And for the first half, I really enjoyed it- especially because I got to share my enthusiasm with my friend Pesky, who (while not exactly watching the show) was willing to put up with my talking about it and even wrote a fic based on the Red Kryptonite episode of season 1, albeit for Superman instead of Supergirl.

That season was also when I started speculating about Brainiac 5 appearing on the show, due to his connection to Kara, and because of his family and connection to Superman in the LOSH cartoon, I started drawing parallels between him and Clark’s relationship, and Kara and Lena’s relationship. (I later regretted this.) Because of it, Pesky and I began writing a lot about these two relationships, especially in the second half of the season, and it was a great distraction from some of the less-good parts of those episodes. Thanks to Pesky, I got back into writing fanfic, and I couldn’t be more grateful for it, or her. (Also, that season- during a snow day in early February- was when I got into Supergirl Radio, a podcast that I still love to this day, and it changed my life.)

Especially because we ended up creating the Winndox ship, which (unbeknownst to us) would actually become incredibly accurate to what ultimately happened on the show. Season 3 was… certainly a journey, that I enjoyed even more because I got more involved in the fandom in addition to my friendship with Pesky, and especially because of the casting of Jesse Rath as Brainiac-5, one of the greatest decisions in the entire Arrowverse.

Seriously, within a month of the announcement, I had already watched one of his shows, and was planning to watch a few others, and decided just based on that, that he was going to be a great Brainy. Which I was right about, I still love him so much, and his take on Brainy (aside from some stuff in season 4) is so beautiful and complicated, and I cannot say enough things about it. Unfortunately, along with all the great fanfic-writing, and my joining AO3 and having been named New Rachel by Supergirl Radio, the fandom was also very not good, which was why I was happy to join the Sunshine Protection Force Discord in the spring of 2018.

Also again, and I cannot emphasize this enough, Winn and Brainy had some real scenes together, and they were rivals just like Pesky and I had hypothesized. It was the most vindicating thing… until November of that year, when Jesse Rath topped it by posting one of my text post memes about Brainy being bisexual, and the following December, he mentioned that his favorite Brainy ship was Brainy and Winn. Also yesterday, there was that video released of Jesse and Jeremy cuddling. Albeit with Chris also in that bed. But still, I love them, and I’m really happy that it’s something that’s at least canon adjacent.

So season 3 was really interesting to watch, and season 4, if partially because I was spending a lot of time working, and trying to adjust to life after college graduation, was… less so. I mean, it was interesting, but it was also really difficult to watch. However, again, at least I joined a really nice Twitter group chat around February of last year, as well as remaining in the SPF.

And so we come to season 5, where I’m still a part of the Twitter group chat and the SPF as well as another great and positive Supergirl discord, I’ve written 100 fics on AO3 and countless others on my Tumblr, I’ve watched all of the Arrowverse shows (except for Black Lightning, sorry, I will catch up soon), I’ve gotten to cohost on Supergirl Radio for an episode, I’ve met a cohost of the Legends of Tomorrow podcast, I have a shirt and poster directly from the SYFY channel because I tweeted a lot about Krypton… those last two things aren’t relevant. But I still like them and they wouldn’t have been possible if I hadn’t gotten into Supergirl, and although I wasn’t sure how I felt about season 5 at first, especially because of Crisis, these past few episodes show a lot of promise and I definitely don’t mind living in a post-Crisis world. Kara Danvers, Alex Danvers, J’onn J’onzz, Querl Dox, and everyone else, I will always love you all, thank you for showing me light during the dark parts of my life, thank you for giving me hope, thank you for being there and being inspiring.

I’m so excited for this 100th episode, even with all the ups and downs that have led us this far, and hopefully, here’s to 100more. Or however many you end up getting.

Thank you, Supergirl. Even though you’re not perfect, and your fandom is far from it, you really are my favorite show.

#papa don't look #peskyfrenchfries #rachel talks about stuff

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noxmonumentum · 5 years

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Unfettered

I always think way too much about such stupid things when I’m starting a new blog. The display picture, the theme, the domain name. The silly little trinkets that dress the content, and I’m so shagged out by the time that's all taken care of that the content comes later, if at all depending on how much fury the constant drafting, coding, spitballing and idea forming has introduced to my bloodstream. Not now.

This time This blog is going to be different, I’ve been listening to the latest in the series autobiographies by Stephen Fry, a personal hero of mine, and I’m at a section that is made up of several blog entries he penned in the early 90′s. This in Stephens admittance, truly captures the rushed and fractured nature of his life at the time; better than any recounting from memory ever could. He also vows that they are added to the book verbatim, with some footnotes added to give greater context or relevant tidbits to enrich the telling. It was shocking to me how different it was from the written word of the 2019 Stephen, and also got me thinking about how diaries and journals give some tangible meaning to each day that passed.

Putting a day down in black and white is like snapping a photo of the day and keeping it. A tangible artefact survives the ever burning fuse of time. That’s how I’ve always pictured time passing in my head, a long fuse with only a tiny section visible. The white hot sparks of the present burning away the fuse with the ashy remnant of the past left behind in its wake, never to be the same or whole again, never experienced again and once gone, gone for good.

So today I resolved to start a journal. But not just a daily blog or journal, but something deeply personal. I’m going to vow to myself here and now that what I post here is absolutely unfettered without any sort of vanity, fakeness or masking of anything, good or bad that I wish to include. I will not change my writing style to fit into a certain voice or tone, I will write exactly how it comes to me. I will not delete a post, I may private a post down the line for any reason that I see fit, but not a single post will be deleted. I will also for the most part keep myself anonymous. I like the idea of having a public journal baring my very soul, that isn’t directly tied to me. Not that I expect a single soul to read this. This is strictly for my own enjoyment, posterity and journaling.

I want to keep a breadcrumb trail of my journey through the burning fuse of my life, in the hopes that when I look back at this and I can see a worthwhile journey that lead to something. With the beauty of hindsight I will be able to pick out the smallest nucleus of a pivotal moment taking shape in my life. Maybe I journal the moment I meet the person I spend the rest of my life with, maybe I journal the start of a new job or a choice that completely changes the trajectory of my life. Maybe, maybe, maybe. The only way we can tell is if I do this for 10+ years and find out.

I also want to use this to keep track of the person I am at any moment, I’ve had the displeasure of going back a few years on my twitter, to a 19 year old version of myself, and I found that person to be massively annoying. Maybe the 29 year old me will just as disgusting and cringe inducing to my future self, who knows? I’ll know when I read this, hello future me. I hope you’re not a depressed loser.

#first post #introduction #diary

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fa-nfiction · 5 years

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Thunder #39

“Hungry?”

“No. Don’t talk.”

“Don’t talk?”

“I just want to … I just.”

He chuckled at my strange behavior. We were lying in bed.My head resting on his shoulder, my eyes clenched shut, and my fingers almost clutching at his skin.

“Come on. You must be starving.”

“Nah.”

“Did you just nah me?”

“Nah.”

“You just did it again.” He laughed.

“I just want to stay put. Here. Until I have to go back again.” I inhaled the scent of his skin to make it stay in my brain.

That way I wouldn’t have to miss him as much.

“Well, happy to please. I just worried you’re going to eat me at some point.”

“Oh, I definitely am.”

“Thought as much.” He looked at me with that glinting in his eyes, and I felt the need for him rising. It was almost enough to make me forget that I was actually hungry.

“What’s in the box?”

“The box?”

“The one from Yasmin. The one that I actually travelled all the way here to deliver.”

“Oh, you mean that this was just a job?”

“Absolutely. All of my clients get the same service.”

He laughed loudly at my remark and almost forgot what we were talking about.

“Interesting. Might I add, it’s a very good service. Unparalleled, actually.”

“I know. I’m the leading lady in the business.”

“I’m sure.” He winked at me and moved to exit the bed. I could see the in the way that he moved that the loss of contact was as difficult for him as it was for me. The sight of his naked back and toned legs was making me bite my lip and I utterly regretted that I had to remind him of the box.

I wrapped the covers closely around me and wondered how he didn’t seem cold. We were in the attic of his new pub, where he had a bed, a night stand, and nothing more except candles and cobwebs. The heating up here didn’t work as well as it should, and he had put up a few heaters to make it somewhat bearable. The journey had been long, and the tiredness was beginning to make me feel cold. Of course, we had welcomed each other like we always used to do, including the discarding of clothes and heated, passionate embraces. All of the worries and all of the girls’ warnings seemed to drift away whenever he was close. I both hated and loved the way he was making me vulnerable like that.

“Holy hell.” I was pulled away from my thoughts as I heard him say. He had procured a couple of scissors and had managed to open the box. From what I could see behind his back, it was some sort of scarf.

“What is it?” I crawled out of the bed, still with the covers wrapped around me. I cringed at the feeling of the cool wooden boards beneath my feet.

“It’s …” His voice came out in a strange way. As if he was crying. He quickly managed to conceal it. “It’s … a lot of items back from Nathan’s.”

“Yours?”

I could see him nodding. He was sitting down, crouched over the box, and picking up various frames and other items from inside of it.

“Did you forget to pack them?” I was confused. Why did he seem so moved about items from Nathan’s?

He shook his head and quickly removed something from his eye. I sat down next to him and noticed the glistening of the tears in his eyes.

“I … I threw these things away. When Yasmin overtook the pub, I threw them out. I told her there was no need for me to keep them.”

I laid a hand on his shoulder and squeezed it lightly. He swallowed and continued.

“What are they?”

“They’re … a lot of memories, actually. A scarf from when I was a boy. Old football posters. I wanted to get rid of them.”

“Why?” I was completely confused.

“Because everything else was fucked up. No matter what, I didn’t deserve to be happy.”

“Why on earth would you even think that?” I had a fleeting idea why he felt that way, but I couldn’t tell him that. The slim chance that he was actually going to tell me something about his past … or his feelings, even … was something I wouldn’t dare miss.

He looked up from the box and looked me directly in the eyes. The raw emotion in them was making me lose my breath.

“I had lost you. I had made sure you ran away, Cas. I ruined everything back then.”

His words hurt. They made it feel like a knife was twisting in my heart. The strangeness of the situation was making a lump of tears appear in my throat, too.

“You’ve never told me why.” I could hear that my voice was thick. It hurt to talk about these things. I didn’t even know if I wanted his answer. Maybe his answer was terrible, and I would have to leave him, and never look back, and find my way back home from London, somehow. My eyes had fixated themselves onto a small spot on the floor, when he took my hands in his own and prompted me to look at him.

“I was scared, Cas.”

“Scared of what?” My voice was heavy with tears, but I couldn’t cry right now.

“That I was going to ruin everything.”

“You got really damn close, I can tell you that.” Thoughts of that infamous night appeared in my brain. Me, running down the stairs while tears were running down my face. Me, hitting the street while I was crying with desperation. Me, scraping my knees and screaming into the night with the pain that I felt. And the aftermath. The trip to London, the wanting to abort my baby, the desperation, my parents … and Richard.

“I came from … I came from shit, you know that.” He wiped a tear away and took my hands again, squeezing them slightly.

“I … I didn’t.” He looked down. It looked like he was bracing himself for a painful trip down memory lane.

“My dad. He was … terrible. He’d beat us whenever we slipped up and didn’t obey the rules. And well … we did that a lot.”

“Who is we?” I pretended I knew nothing about his family.

“My brother and myself. In time, he managed to fit in. I didn’t. I’ve always seen myself as my Dad’s complete opposite.”

I struggled to see the relevance but stayed put. This was the most solemn I had ever seen him.

“And?”

“When he was younger, he … he partied a lot. He had a lot of girlfriends and stuff. He was never the … down-to-earth kind of guy, or so I heard. When my Mom fell pregnant, everything changed. He began to be really religious. Because now there were kids on the way, and he had to do right by God … or something, I don’t know. Over the years, he changed into the dreadful person he was.”

“Why did you never tell me this?” I remember the things that Nathan had told me. But if Michael had been the one to tell them, so many problems would have been avoided.

“I couldn’t. I … I was afraid you’d think I was some kind of loser.”

“You?!? What the fuck, Michael. If anything, it was I that -” He didn’t let me finish.

“Think about it. I ran into you that day, and you were there, with that funny little accent of yours, and your office dresscode and everything. I was just a worker. I couldn’t go “hey Cas. I’m a poor guy with a terrible background.””

“Well. You could have brought it up along the way. There have been a couple of minutes now and then.” I smiled at him but it was a sad smile. We’d spent so much time together but never really talked. Not until now.

“Everything happened so fast. I was going to ask you to … well. Be a bit more steady than we were. But that night, you ran away from me. I’m so, so sorry about that night. Something had … had clicked inside of me, I …”

I could see his eyes welling up with tears.

“Hold on. What night?”

“Way before all the things with Teddy. The night with the snow. We had been to the pub, and -”

“I remember.” I clenched my teeth at the way he’d made me feel that night. “But that’s long gone now.”

We sat in silence, holding hands, thinking about the terrible things we’d been through. After a while, he breathed in, as if steeling himself for what he was about to say.

“I got … I got so afraid, Cas. I got afraid that maybe he wasn’t mine. I was afraid that he’d hate me. I was afraid I was going to ruin him, you, everyone. What if I turned into the monster that my Dad was. I couldn’t … I couldn’t stand the thought of it.”

I could feel a tear in the corner of my eye and tried to blink it away.

“Don’t you think there was a better way?”

“Perhaps. At the time, I felt I had to make sure that you went away. Away from me.”

The tear from before was now running freely, along with several others. Although it hurt to relive that night again, I knew it was for the best.

“And that was how you knew I would do that.”

“It was. And I am so, so fucking sorry. I hate myself for that night. If I could, I would erase it out of time. Believe me.”

He put my face between his hands and wiped the tears away with his thumbs. “Hey. Hey. Look at me.”

I looked up at him, my vision blurred from the tears, and I saw his deep blue eyes - the ones that he’d passed on to our son - looking into mine. He kissed the tip of my nose and pressed his forehead against mine.

“I won’t ever ask you to forgive me. But please. Just know that I am so sorry.”

I sniffled and rejoiced in his touch, pressing my hand against his. We sat there for long enough to make it feel like my tears had gone away for good.

“What happened after?”

He shuffled back from where he was sitting. He pulled up a football scarf from the box I’d brought along to London.

“Everything went bad there.”

“How?”

He sighed. As if the sheer memory of that time was causing him pain.

“I drank. A lot. I … I tried to forget you. So I tried to hook up with … a lot of people.”

I felt a knot forming in my stomach. The thought of women and Michael never failed to make me feel sick with jealousy.

“And it didn’t work. No matter how, no matter who it was, she wasn’t you.”

He looked down, head bowed in shame. “And every night after one of these … meetings, I’d just drink enough to make me feel numb. And I’d take another one home, and that didn’t work either. And she’d leave, and I’d pass out, and I’d dream about you.”

I could see my hands moving by themselves without me even thinking about it, reaching out to caress him. I had no idea he had felt like this.

“I dreamt about you every night, Cas. You were … you looked so happy. That was all that mattered. In my dreams, you were happy without me. I felt some sick comfort in that.” He wiped a tear away from the corner of his eye.

“The reality was a bit different.” I bit my lip at the thought of the pain I felt back then. He finally looked up from the floorboards and looked me in the eyes.

“I am so, so sorry. So fucking sorry.” He whispered.

I got up slightly, but only just enough to get over and straddle him. At the same time, I wrapped my covers around the both of us. His skin had become cool and I wrapped my arms around him and held him close. I felt his hands on my back, pressing me closer to him as he exhaled a sigh.

“I understand that you don’t want to risk anything.” He whispered against the nape of my neck. “I understand that you can’t come and live here right now. But I’m here. I’m here, if you want me.”

I clenched my eyes shut as a few more tears left their safe havens. I knew that I couldn’t leave Kenmare right now. But by God, the pain of not being near him was unbearable.

“Just hold me.” I sniffled against him and he did as I asked.

( … )

He got up from the floor, with me and the covers wrapped closely around him. He moved through the room, until finally, he laid us down on the bed. Our eyes met, and it felt like we had never been this close. I loved him so absolutely, so completely, and it felt like the love was going to make me explode with emotion. His hand went up to my face, caressing my cheek softly as he looked into my eyes.

“Marry me.” He said lowly. It felt like I should have been surprised, but I wasn’t. It felt utterly perfect.

“No.” I replied and kissed him softly.

“Marry me.” He said once more.

“No.”

“Someday.”

“Yeah.”

That was enough for him, it seemed. He embraced me with such emotion that it felt like exactly what it was. A contract of love, sealed by two lovers in the night. He kissed me as though we’d never kissed before. Softly, yet urgent, his lips parted mine as my arms closed around his neck and my legs wrapped around his waist.

( … )

#thunder #thunder 39 #the thunder series #thunder series #Thunderstorm #michael fassbender fanfiction #michael fassbender fan fiction

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emeraldnebula · 6 years

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In light my recent posts about the idea of creating a brand-new superhero love interest for Superman (the real one, not the impostor parading about in “Rebirth”), I thought it might be fair to share with you some old message board posts from the official DC Comics message boards, circa 2001-2005. This was back when the Superman fandom hadn’t atrophied to the point where only the regressive nutcases were running the show, so there were still some voices of sanity active at the time.

Even 13-17 years ago, DC’s arrogance, inability to accept criticism over their failures, and insistence of stagnation was a major sticking point, and it led to lot of debates over what needed to be updated about Superman to keep it alive, what was absolutely essential, and what needed to be kicked to the curb. I copied and pasted a lot of these conversations into Microsoft Word (I knew nothing of screen-capping at the time), so there’s some choice posts that, I think, are even more relevant than ever in light of “Rebirth” being a failure in every respect.

Some of these posts will be anonymous, as I no longer remember who exactly posted what. But some posters were fairly notable fan personalities, such as comic book blogger Bizarro Mark Engblom, a fan from the Silver Age days:

“ I wouldn't lose much sleep if Perry and Jimmy went the way of the dodo bird. I think they worked better in the age when newspapers were actually a vital element of our society, but they're now (at best) a quaint anachronism. An optional feature of our lives, rather than the necessity it was in past eras. Lois? The current interpretation of Lois is an annoying shrike, but I would think she would need to be around in some capacity. What that is, I have no idea. As it stands, she occupies a much more prominent role that I would ever give her. The real trick seems to be separating the “essentials” from what I like to call “furniture.” Essentials: Krypton explodes, Jor-El and Lara send their baby Kal-El (the baby's age never mattered much to me) to Earth, found and raised by the Kents as Clark Kent in Smallville. Grows up to become Superman. Furniture: Perry White, Jimmy Olsen, various Fortresses, super-pets, kryptonite, villains, blah, blah, blah. Of course, just as in my home I'm more fond of some pieces of furniture than others, it's still just furniture and, ultimately, expendable. From my perspective, there is precious little that absolutely must remain in order for it to still be Superman. Whenever the Superman experience starts to become more about rearranging the same old furniture than advancing the narrative into new territory (or, to beat the analogy to death, “buying some new furniture”), you know the franchise is stuck in a rut.“

An anonymous fan, quoting previous poster Cooky La Moo:

“You know, I kind of like the idea of The Daily Planet, Perry and Jimmy BEING an anachronism. Perry as an old-school newsman standing like Canute against the tide of time. The Daily Planet doesn't HAVE to be a great metropolitan newspaper, it could be seen as a somewhat eccentric throwback to a simpler age, sneered at by other media types, but respected when it can pull in stories like the debut of Superman. Maybe it could become “old-fashioned” in the same way that people see Clark's character itself as being “old-fashioned.” Or, like Cooky said, make the Planet a news agency. Or a web-based news site. How are magazines like Time doing? Are they being superseded like newspapers? Of course, is it necessary for Clark to be a reporter? With 24-hour news media, he doesn't need to be at a newspaper to get access to news stories. Could he be a teacher? Perry a principal, Jimmy a student teacher? Or some other profession? I've always thought that Perry, Lois and Jimmy should form something of an artificial family of some sort, so I think the characters should stay, but that doesn't mean they shouldn't get other jobs. You know the thing that annoys me? The fact that we sit here discussing issues like this when DC just doesn't seem bothered. What's going on?”

Two posts by DC forum regular Kilgore Trout:

“ The strict adherence to “continuity” is what got us to the point we’re at now. It has become impossible to just tell a story WITHOUT going through 16 years of “continuity” to make sure you’re not stepping into a pile of shit that someone left laying there 10 years ago. To me, continuity means this: Strange visitor from another planet [which is destroyed—along with his family—in a horrific cataclysm] rocketed to earth as a child. Raised by kindly older couple in the heartland of America. Has powers and abilities far beyond those of mortal men. Works for a great metropolitan newspaper. And who, disguised as Clark Kent, fights a never-ending battle for Truth Justice et al…. Everything else is superfluous. Superman should exist inside AND outside of the DCU. The age of anal-retentiveness needs to end. The books are completely stifled under the weight of 16 years of step-by-step continuity. This isn’t the life story or autobiography of a real person. Superman’s story used to be BIG and GRAND. It wasn’t mired in small details and the mundane goings-on of normal folks. The “Hi, honey! I’m home!” approach isn’t working anymore and it’s why I am looking forward to Birthright and the promise it holds.“

“ Here's a simple solution... AFTER they revamp the current Moderateman and change him BACK to Superman, they can actually explain the Lois and Clark relationship in a way that would finally make sense. Here’s how: YES, Superman IS the OLDEST and most RESPECTED Superhero in the DCU BECAUSE of his MANY YEARS of service to and for humanity. And that would require that he's been around for over 60-some odd years, so here's my thought: Lois Lane is a woman that Superman USED TO have a thing with. She aged. He barely did. She is NOW about 60 and is his oldest friend and confidant. Nothing more and nothing less. The end. No marriage and no messy divorce. Just good friends and still an important part of the mythos.”

Responses to the above, from anonymous posters:

“ Kilgore Trout, I’m sorry but, huh?!? what do you mean exactly? Are you talking for TPTB up at DC to just reboot the titles to have it so that now in Post-Post-Crisis, both Kal and Lois have aged but within Kal's case though, the higher-ups have made it so that he has retained his youthfulness in his physical appearance, and so that Lois is now a grandma in the new DCU too? Yeah, I suppose that if done right it could work in the end. It would sure give another gal a shot at becoming his lover (Lana Lang, Chloe Sullivan, Wonder Woman, etc.).”

“ Do we NEED Lois and Clark to be lovers? Okay, sure we do at the moment, assuming there's no reboot on the horizon. But if things started again, do we NEED a Lois/Clark ‘ship? Yes, I know. They've been an item forever. Their names are linked together in the public consciousness, but...what if, in another universe, Clark and Lana ended up together? Or Clark and Chloe? What if—Shock! Horror!—Lois and Clark were just good friends, maybe even best friends, but platonic friends nonetheless? I know that the secret identity causing trouble for Clark's relationships is an important part of the mythos, but can that be played out in another form other than a love triangle? Could it work with friends like Jimmy and Perry if their roles were beefed up? Thinking about it, that sort of situation perhaps works best in a romantic relationship, but that relationship doesn't have to be with Lois. I know, I know. Lois is an important character. I think a lot of the problems are down to poor characterization and a lack of vision for the supporting cast. But sometimes, and especially in conversations like this, it’s worth throwing out ideas and thoughts and seeing if any of them stick, even if they're not how things have been in the past. We hear a lot about redefining Superman, but of all the aspects of the mythos, Clark's character is perhaps one of the things that doesn't NEED changing. Maybe Lois’ role IS something that could change…. (Is there a devil's advocate smiley?)”

Post by Elroy the Cat, specifically citing the Lois/Clark marriage as a death knell:

“ The more fundamental problem with Lois in current continuity is not whether she's married to Superman or not. It’s whether readers can understand what the fuck Clark sees in her, because Lois is either annoying or more annoying, depending on the writer who's handling her. She's a difficult character, apparently, for male writers to pull off successfully. And that's a problem, because you can [and already do] have readers going, “This man could have ANY woman he wants! Why this troll?” It's distracting, and no one has thought to explore whether or not it speaks of a deficiency in Clark that he should seek to be loved by someone as clearly flawed as Lois is. Great story there…but then you'd have to have a real writer to write it. Having said that, the marriage as an idea is only as good as its usefulness to the greater story. Presently, it’s about as useful to the greater “journey” of the character of Superman as shoes are to fish. And therein lies the problem. Bottom line: the marriage is the nail that makes an eventual total reboot of this version of Superman inevitable.“

Another anonymous post in response to infamous forum troll Michael “ManoftheAtom” Sacal, pretty much backing up Bizarro Mark Engblom’s previous argument:

“To me, all Superman needs to be is… An infant rocketed to earth from a dying planet. Raised by the Kents. A reporter. And THAT’S IT!! I don't understand what these “established guidelines” are, exactly. So you guys are saying that if Superman is rebooted 1000 times, he always has to live the same exact life in each and every one of them??”

Excerpt from another anonymous post, again in respose to Kilgore Trout vis-a-vis DC’s pet failed decisions:

“I could not have said it better [following a laundry list of bad ideas DC implemented]. Actually the addition of each of these things was usually a part of a good story. But retaining them after the story as part of the Superman legend has created this disaster that I describe as clutter. Besides, kids who are getting their driver's licenses today (and probably giving up comics) were not even born at the time of the Crisis. It is time to relaunch, have another Crisis, or simply designate everything since the last Crisis as having occurred on some alternate earth (like the GA's Earth 2 or the SA). Then start writing comics for the next generation. Superman could discover Kryptonite again. He could be a bachelor and play the field. He could marry Lana instead of Lois (and that would not require a divorce)—in this brave new world maybe he had been a Superboy before becoming a Superman. He might have a cousin, fly in space, or travel in time. Or maybe not. But there would be room to do new things without having to screw up everything that has gotten him to where he is today.”

Again, some of these suggestions are from longtime fans whose readership stretched back decades. And even as far back as the early 2000s, there were those pondering if perhaps the Superman franchise needed a drastic makeover. I can’t imagine those sentiments are any less now in the wake of DC’s regressive tactics.

#superman #reboot #revamp #fan suggestions #blast from the past #still relevant

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gaycey-sketchit · 2 years

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(Gary anon) Legends really open the door for some good angst and drama. XY could probably use a "Legends" too, considering the history. That gen got left in the dust with loose ends. (It's arguably his best one. We'll probably never see that white suit from the poster in any episode, but it's the most recent example we ever got) I see they've casually dropped Brock again, in a series episode this time. Hmm, we're probably won't get another companion return until June. May feels

(Part 2) like a Paul, Project Mew and Alola month. (Yeah, a short "Where are they now?" montage would be nice if we ever got that) Ah yeah, THAT show. Nothing was ever the same after a certain season, and I say this as someone who still hasn't properly watched it, but eyed everything that went down when the show was live. (I still think the best thing to come out of BW was TRio not being strangled to be in every episode so they're used more efficiently. And any time)

(Part 3) (not dedicated to them where they're not relevant can focus on what needs to focus on) That said, them barely being a presence now is weird. But considering everything else going on, definitely some tough sacrifices being made. (Makes you wonder what will happen to Ash fanon when Journeys is over, doesn't it? Each series feels like it gives birth to a new phase) Sometimes I wonder if it's a miracle that I'm not invested in pairing everyone and everything [romantically] no matter

(Part 4) what I watch. Yeah, it can be fun, but it definitely shouldn't be so stressful that I'm worrying about my safety constantly; over fictional people. (Heh, you're not the only one I've seen said that. As much as some agree that Ash continuing as a main puts his character at risk of another BW situation; Journeys being disjointed at points has let to mixed emotions to the point that I wouldn't be surprised if some end up feeling him beating Leon won't feel "properly earned")

(Part 5) (or "satisfactory" as his other big wins. Not matter how good the fight is) And TRio who knows what will happen to them but they have a better chance of staying than some characters, who feel like they're having their endgames set up in case that's it for them. (I doubt that's the reason since young demographic can found to have subs, not just Japanese) Since fansubs can up end conflicting results; translating something from a different language and making most the audience

(Part 6) of that language understands the original intent since cultural differences don't always mixed well is a tough job in itself, TPCI could potentially provide the 'correct' version of everything since they have direct contact with OLM and other studios. (This isn't the downplay the work of the fans; I just remember a point when anipoke fansubs started developing and how newer subs having similar, but slightly different wording than older ones. Some even having trivia notes)

(Part 7) (for explaining; some official anime subs don't bother with that)

Yeah, that game is intense and has some heavy stuff going on. A lot of material for fanworks. Love to see it.

A Legends game for Kalos could be interesting, yeah! Kalos has sort of been shafted so far--feels like one of those cases of devs having to rush to meet a deadline, leading to some weird bugs (like the Lumiose City issue) and things feeling sort of... unfinished. Or maybe there was some plan for like, a sequel or third version or something that'd elaborate on stuff more that got scrapped. At any rate, it'd be interesting to get a look at Kalos's past, maybe see the aftermath of the war and the ultimate weapon.

It's so good. And the suit is very nice too (that poster is still one of the greatest things Journeys has given us, it was my lock screen for a while). The kid's got style for sure.

Yeah, casual Brock cameo was unexpected but neat!

Makes sense. May's already going to be a very eventful month, it seems.

Yeah, something like that would be nice! Some nice glimpses at how they're all doing and what they're up to.

Yeah, I remember just sort of witnessing the fandom with only a vague idea of what was going on but it seemed like... a lot. And it feels like after the finale the whole fandom just sort of evaporated, I've barely heard anything about it since. From an outside perspective it's weird.

True. Like, I love the TRio, I really do but nearly every episode having to have a B-plot of their plan to steal Pikachu or whatever other relevant Pokemon of the episode... got a little tired. Having their presence be in a way that's less repetitive is better.

But yeah, to this day it throws me to realize there are like... a bunch of episodes they aren't in at all. I got so used to them always turning up. And I kind of miss their presence, though I guess with how much is going on in Journeys it was just... a necessary cut to make.

Yeah, I wonder! It does seem like every series gives us a new phase of how Ash is perceived/portrayed by the fandom. Very curious to see that.

Yeah, sometimes not being super invested in ships in everything is pretty fortunate, because there is. So much discourse. And sometimes things that are... a lot worse.

That's something I'm worried about, yeah. Journeys has been kind of a weird series, and I've enjoyed it but I know it's controversial. And I really hope that when/if Ash and the TRio, beloved as they are, depart from the anime, it's on the best, strongest note it can possibly be.

So it really is just a mystery then. Huh.

Oh, I get that. From what I hear, fansubs have improved a great deal over the years, and I really genuinely have a lot of respect and appreciation for the people doing that, the dedication is amazing and they're just... doing it for free for the benefit of the fandom. But official subs would still be appreciated if that ever happens. IIRC Mewtwo Strikes Back: Evolution has the option on Netflix to watch it in Japanese with corresponding English subtitles, so maybe there's hope for that? Dubious on that though since Secrets of the Jungle does not. I guess only time will tell.

#Andrew answers #Gary anon

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orbemnews · 3 years

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Analysis: Female directors are having a moment In the year of our Lord 2021, it feels like female directors are finally getting more opportunities — and more acknowledgment. Take, for example, this past Sunday’s Golden Globe Awards. Three women were nominated in the best director category for the first time. Only one woman had ever won the category prior to Sunday, and that was Barbra Streisand in 1984 for “Yentl.” Here are some of the women who are making waves and headlines in Hollywood: Chloé Zhao: The “Nomadland” director became the first woman of Asian descent and only the second woman ever to win the best director award at this year’s Golden Globes. The film’s star, Frances McDormand, told The New York Times Zhao really understood the actress’ affinity for the character who packs up her life in a van and becomes part of an older community of people who work odd jobs across the country. “Chloé tapped into the truth of it which was at different points of my life, I’ve said to my husband, ‘I can’t take this anymore, I’m dropping out,'” McDormand said. Regina King: The acclaimed actress-turned-director was up against Zhao at the Globes. She has been on quite a streak in her career the past few years, including nabbing the best supporting actress Oscar for “If Beale Street Could Talk” in 2019. Now, the former child star is being hailed for her big screen directorial debut in “One Night in Miami,” adapted from Kemp Powers’ stage play about a meeting between Cassius Clay, Jim Brown, Sam Cooke and Malcolm X. The night of the Golden Globes, King told “E!” it was “bittersweet” that she, Zhao and Emerald Fennell marked the first trio of female nominees, given that this is 2021. Emerald Fennell: Another actress who has stepped behind the camera (we are starting to see a trend here), she has received critical acclaim for writing, directing and producing the thriller “Promising Young Woman,” starring Carey Mulligan. The movie is not only cheeky but gets into some uncomfortable territory, so much so that it has been praised for turning the revenge genre on its ear. “It’s just part of the fun of making something, the smoke and mirrors and the misdirections,” Fennell told IndieWire. “I love all that stuff, all of my favorite movies have that sort of thing in them. It’s very interesting, isn’t it, how much we want violence, how much instinctively as an audience we’re begging for blood.” Robin Wright: “The House of Cards” star did some directing on that Netflix series, so she wasn’t a total neophyte when it came to both starring in and directing her first feature film, “Land.” Wright plays a woman struck by a family tragedy who gives up her successful life in the big city and moves to a remote area in Wyoming. She told Women’s Wear Daily that she was delighted with the film’s reception so far. “We feel so blessed that people are feeling the movie,” Wright said. “It is very relevant to what’s going on today, of being disconnected from our loved ones. We’re not living the norm. The message in this movie is about that very thing.” These leading female directors represent just a handful of creatives proving women are making inroads on the Hollywood scene. The numbers don’t lie: For the second consecutive year, the percentages of women directing top-grossing films increased, reaching “recent historic highs,” while the overall percentages of women working in key behind-the-scenes roles remained relatively stable, according to a study by San Diego State University released in January. “Women accounted for 16% of directors working on the top 100 grossing films in 2020, up from 12% in 2019 and 4% in 2018,” wrote study author Martha M. Lauzen, founder and executive director of SDSU’s Center for the Study of Women in Television and Film. “Women comprised 18% of directors on the top 250 films in 2020, up from 13% in 2019 and 8% in 2018.” A rising tide raises all ships, especially when a woman is at the helm, so here’s to more female directors on the horizon. For your weekend Three things to watch: ‘Coming 2 America’ Prince Akeem and Semmi are heading back to Queens, New York. Eddie Murphy and Arsenio Hall reprise their respective roles for the sequel to the hit 1988 film. This time the prince is in search of his son and heir to the kingdom of Zamunda. My question is what have the rose petal droppers been up to all this time? “Coming 2 America” starts streaming Friday on Amazon Prime. ‘Boss Level’ Former special forces agent Roy Pulver (Frank Grillo) is trapped in a time loop that constantly repeats the day of his murder. To break the cycle, he must hunt down Col. Clive Ventor (Mel Gibson) while also trying to save his ex-wife (Naomi Watts). That sounds like some seriously fast-paced action. “Boss Level” starts streaming Friday on Hulu. ‘Biggie: I Got a Story to Tell’ March 9 marks the 24th anniversary of the unsolved murder of rapper Christopher Wallace, aka Biggie Smalls or The Notorious B.I.G., at age 24. Arguably one of the best and most beloved hip-hop artists of all time, Wallace is the subject of a new doc that looks at the legacy of his life and death. Currently streaming on Netflix, with “rare footage and in-depth interviews, this documentary celebrates the life of The Notorious B.I.G. on his journey from hustler to rap king.” So, call your friends and let them know so your crew run-run-run, your crew run-run to catch it. Two things to listen to: Sweden has blessed us with the likes of ABBA and Spotify. Now add Zara Larsson to that list. The 23-year-old singer, who got her start as a youngster on a TV talent show, is dropping her third studio album, “Poster Girl,” on Friday. March is the month we celebrate women — and who is more empowering than Oprah Winfrey? The answer to that is no one. Check out “Oprah’s SuperSoul Conversation‪s” podcast if you want to feel motivated, inspired or just need the uplifting vibe that is trademark Oprah. ‬ One thing to talk about: Are we over awards shows? My CNN colleague Brian Lowry reported that “Globes ratings plummeted more than 60% from the 18.3 million viewers who watched last year, per Nielsen data, to an average audience of 6.9 million.” Yikes. With the pandemic going on you would think plenty of people would be tuning in to shows like the Golden Globes, but, apparently, not. Even in a “normal year,” there seems to be less enthusiasm for award shows than there used to be, and that begs the question if Hollywood needs to find a different way to celebrate the industry. The pandemic is causing us all to reevaluate things. Something to sip on Looking for a new show to watch? We asked some of our friends around CNN what TV binge has helped them decompress in the time of Covid. Phil Mattingly, senior White House correspondent I basically have an encyclopedic knowledge of Bravo shows due to my wife’s fandom/the disappearance of sports the first few month of Covid. Not sure I should acknowledge that publicly. Alisyn Camerota, CNN New Day anchor I’ve been watching “Succession.” It depicts a dysfunctional, rotten world, and somehow I find that soothingly distracting from our daily stress. Stephanie Elam, CNN correspondent Fantasy, take me away! I’ve turned to shows that allow me to escape reality — “Once Upon a Time” with my daughter, “Lovecraft Country” and “His Dark Materials” without her. Ana Cabrera, CNN Newsroom anchor “Criminal Minds” on Netflix. I know it’s old, but I’m a newcomer to it! I’m a sucker for mystery and suspense. Pop back here next Thursday for all the latest entertainment happenings that matter. Source link Orbem News #Analysis #directors #entertainment #female #Femaledirectorsarehavingamoment-CNN #Moment

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garywonghc · 6 years

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Are Manifestations & Mediums Of Bodhisattvas & Buddhas Around?

by Various Dharma Protectors

An interestingly phrased question arose recently – ‘Why do mediums not get any Buddha to answer their devotees’ questions?’ Before there is further confusion, we should be clear that the use of mediums is not a Buddhist practice. Instead, for Chinese culture, it is part of folk religion. There are naturally irreconcilable aspects of different religions, which is why they are different in the first place and remain so. In this sense, even if a medium of any religion claims to be able to ‘channel’ a Buddha or Bodhisattva through him or her, this is entirely frowned upon by all orthodox Buddhists with right understanding. The only exception is the traditional but very exclusive use of a few trusted oracles in Tibetan Buddhism involving time-tested and dedicated Dharma protector deities (who are not Buddhas or Bodhisattvas) for very special matters.

Even if there are some who claim advice from some mediums believed to represent Buddhas and Bodhisattvas to be effective, Buddhists should never consult their services. There are two kinds of ‘mediums’ – the false ones and the genuine ones. As it is difficult to discern one from the other, one might be paying (or contributing ‘donations’) while being tricked. For false mediums, there are again two kinds. The first are the downright fakes, who consciously put on theatrical acts to fool devotees to part with their money. The second are somewhat but not total fakes, who subconsciously auto suggest themselves, often also through peer pressure of those who believe they are special, to have the ability to call upon ‘higher beings’. Such ‘mediums’ are still false, even if they have no intention to deceive, and do wish to help others.

Despite power of the auto suggestable mind, that can even express seemingly superhuman feats of endurance, there are still obvious physical and spiritual limits. If a medium, say, is supposedly possessed by an ‘animal-god’, such as a ‘monkey’, why is he or she not able to climb and swing from trees, somersaulting like a real monkey? Unless… the medium was not really possessed by such a being, while being unable to fully auto suggest oneself to believe such feats can be done. Even if capable of some acrobatics, there is the puzzle of how a character from a fictitious novel can assist real people with real problems. If the Monkey King in ‘Journey to the West’ (which is not a proper Dharma text) was written to have learnt the Dharma, this begs the question of why, if he is real, his ‘mediums’ do not preach it directly, which would surely lead to full house classes attended by thousands.

Even if a medium is genuine, he or she will not be able to ‘summon’ the Buddhas and Bodhisattvas – as the enlightened ones never taught that they are summonable through any medium. In fact, in the Surangama Sutra (楞严经), Sakyamuni Buddha, our fundamental teacher, clearly instructed Bodhisattvas and Arhats who manifest in various manners in our world to aid us to never ever reveal their true identities while alive, at most disclosing who they are just before (or after) departure. While this might sound deceptive, the purpose of this is exactly the opposite – for preventing legitimisation of self-proclaimed identities for deception by anyone. Imagine if the Buddha taught instead, that all Bodhisattvas and Arhats should announce who they are to the whole wide world. Not that there are not already many, there would be even more with bold false claims.

Therefore, anyone who puts up an actual or virtual signboard (e.g. biodata, namecards, websites, posters, tickets, books, magazines) claiming oneself to be a Buddha, Bodhisattva or Arhat is directly not a true Buddhist, much less a Buddhist teacher or spokesperson for any of the enlightened, who are explicitly forbidden to claim any enlightened identity in our era. As the Buddha gravely put it, ‘Thus as I have said, is named the Buddhas’ speech [teachings]. Not thus as said, is Papiyan’s [Mara: the evil one] speech.’ (‘如我所说，名为佛说。不如此说, 即波旬说。’) Those who make audacious claims and remain in this world are out to gather fame and fortune. Such worldly ambitions straightaway render them spiritually impure. In some cases, false teachers have been influenced or possessed by Mara (or his minions) personally, to confuse the masses, and distract them from the true Dharma.

Genuine mediums, at most, can only ‘channel’ gods and ghosts. Even the duo can be hard to differentiate as there are some ghosts (or wandering spirits) who like to possess mediums to relay messages, while impersonating others. Helpful to some extent as they might be at times, and playful at other times, their advice is not ultimate as they are not enlightened – which is why they are ghosts. Even if a god possesses a medium, the messages conveyed are still imperfect as he or she is not a fully enlightened ‘Teacher of humans and gods’, a title reserved for Buddhas. Believability in mediums arises when they seem to know past events and current situations. This is simply because gods and ghosts (and some humans) can read the thoughts of their devotees about their past and present to limited extents, so as to give seemingly ‘relevant’ answers, that do not guarantee accurate forecast of the future.

Mediums are also surely not messengers of Buddhas and Bodhisattvas as they are usually consulted only by non-Buddhists or confused Buddhists lacking in understanding. As such, the queries presented to them are usually mundane in nature, while they are never asked profound Dharma enquiries. Thus, these mediums are never ‘tested’ on their authenticity as ‘enlightened’ spokespersons. Even if not asked, they ought to speak more in congruence with actual Buddhist teachings, using more direct references from the Buddha’s teachings to further interest in the Dharma. For instance, if a medium claims to be able to ‘summon’ Guanyin Bodhisattva, he or she should be able to expound on her teachings, such as the Heart Sutra, with incomparable clarity, delivering detailed sermons often, instead of merely advising on worldly woes.

Mediums of the like above are also never dedicated students of the Dharma, for if they are, they would have come across the Surangama Sutra teaching, which admonishes assumption of sacred identities for ‘branding’ their ‘spiritual’ consultations. Some might imagine that since the Buddhas and Bodhisattvas have great compassion, they should also manifest through mediums. Well, the enlightened will never go against the unequivocally stated Surangama teaching, as this would confuse us. Even if they really do help through mediums, they will never say they are the enlightened, which would counter that teaching. The Buddha’s warning against seeking (and being) such mediums is clear and indisputable. Even though Buddhists know others ‘borrow’ the statuses of Buddhist enlightened beings for medium practices, it does not mean this is agreeable. As these great beings originate from Buddhism, all should learn its true teachings to know what they really stand for.

The more one frequents mediums, the further one digresses from the path to Buddhahood. There would be greater refuge in gods and ghosts than in the ‘Teacher of humans and gods’ (and ghosts and all other beings). One might be asked to do practices against the Dharma too, such as animal sacrifice, which creates negative karma, aggravating existing problems. With possible addiction to medium advice for life’s issues instead of learning and applying the Dharma, this can stunt growth of personal wisdom. Most importantly, even if the advice is somewhat helpful, it does not lead to liberation, as gods and ghosts themselves are still trapped in the rounds of rebirth. With much proximity to mediums, especially those with access to real ghosts, the devotee’s karmic affinity with them might deepen, to further associate with them when being reborn.

Since summoned beings are unenlightened, they have greed, hatred and delusion to some extent. This means there might be a price to pay if their wrath is incurred, or if their expectations are not met. Praying to enlightened Buddhas and Bodhisattvas, there is no such problem. Since consultation of mediums does not ensure ideal results, and might even be dangerous, Buddhists stay clear of them. What is the alternative for those who wish to ‘look for’ deceased ones? As stated in the Ksitigarbha Sutra (地藏经), one can ask the Buddha, who has perfect compassion and wisdom, for help, before sincerely being mindful of his name. Connecting to his blessings, inspired answers will arise in the mind or in a dream so vivid that one will know it is not imagined. Mindfulness of the Dharma for diligent practice helps us much in everyday life too.

In Tibetan Buddhism, although some masters are believed by disciples to be manifestations of the enlightened, they never personally claim so. Even H.H. the 14th Dalai Lama, the most popular Tibetan Buddhist teacher, when asked if he is Guanyin Bodhisattva, says he is just ‘a simple monk’. If one comes across ‘teachers’ with repeated use of self-proclaimed titles of being such and such an enlightened being, or as a special earthly representation, it is best to keep far away. All authentic Buddhist teachers would follow the Buddha’s advice to attract the interested through the Dharma itself, not through such dubious marketing, which unfortunately easily attracts those uninformed of the Surangama teaching. Regarded as a ‘demon-reflecting mirror’ that reveals those affected by inner and/or outer demons, it must be used for self-reflection and for checking the integrity of ‘teachers’.

There are many kinds of false teachers riding on the name of Buddhism for easy gain of popularity. Some use many Buddhist terms and even speak of Buddhist sutras, mantras, meditation and such – for luring in nominal or new Buddhists who are vaguely familiar with them, to look credible, while reinterpreting them with self-concocted twists, throwing in non-Dharma in the mix that deviates from the real deal. This makes their teachings different, as if of a new tradition with exclusive ‘benefits’, while they are corrupting the actual teachings. Anything that radically differs from what the Buddha and great ancient Buddhist masters taught is almost always erroneous. Some claim to have special powers, such as being able to recall devotees’ past lives for advising accordingly – when these stories cannot be verified at all. This is how they stay off the hook.

They play mind games, making wide and thus safe guesses to suggest having predictive power, getting devotees to publicise only right guesses. Any open display of supernormal powers, not that they are real in the case of false teachers, that especially fosters the ego and distracts others from the true Dharma is forbidden by the Buddha. Those who display them are not true Buddhists. Pretending to be able to heal some is one of the easiest ways to attract crowds. If they are really so capable, why not directly visit hospitals? Any true physical healing does not lead to good rebirths or liberation from rebirth anyway. The Buddha was thus focused on being a spiritual over a physical doctor, as death is inevitable. That said, practice of the Buddha’s true teachings already can lead to natural healing due to eradication of negative karma that causes illness.

What if a ‘teacher’ who clearly flouts rules of conduct set by the Buddha seems to have some genuine supernormal powers? Well, even Mara (the most evil being in a world system) has some supernormal powers. Even ghosts, as above, can read minds. Thus, merely showing some powers does not guarantee truth of claims of being enlightened or a representative of the enlightened. It is no gauge of having real compassion and wisdom, while being bait for drawing in devotees. Since such powers can be demonically influenced, we must totally steer clear of such ‘teachers’, who might demonically influence us to be blind followers. Just as unexposed stage tricks, due to our lack of scrutinising ability should not make us think illusionists are miracle men, those who perform stunts in the name of religion should not simply be taken as real ‘saviours’.

With their bursting egos, false teachers tend to sell themselves through others, as being the ‘best’ teachers available, photoshopping to add auras of light around their pictures. With heavy international marketing, they can easily gather many of the faithful but deluded. Some use planted or incomplete ‘testimonials’ of those who ‘had’ semi-imaginary ‘healing’ effects with their ‘assistance’ to attract more. The more lavish packaging there is, the more should all be alert. The biodata of false teachers is also usually elaborate but upon closer look, is vague and untraceable to reputable and still existing people and institutions in the Buddhist community. Some appear monastic or even pseudo-monastic, especially those without a recognised lineage, or with one that disowned them. Some are established in worldly life, and tap upon this for popularising themselves as ‘Buddhist teachers’ – when these factors are not connected at all.

Some create spurious awards to praise and promote themselves. Some claim to have had special private instructions from late great teachers, so as to lean on their fame, while appearing to be their top disciples taking up the mantle. Some create fake histories through detailed (auto)biographies by their ‘devotees’, with outlandish claims of their ‘supernormal powers’ and ‘enlightened’ experiences, which cannot be proven. While ensuring such tall tales circulate, they cunningly pretend to be ‘humble’. Some even claim to have met the ‘enlightened’, who ‘endorsed’ them, which makes them their ‘equivalent’ or their ‘messengers’. Such ways of promoting the so-called ‘Dharma’, focusing on personal claims is wrong as the Buddha taught us to rely on the Dharma, instead of any personality. If a person is relied on in excess, one can easily be misled eventually.

How do the truly enlightened manifest in our world then? A great example would be Great Master Yinguang (1861-1940). Despite living a truly humble and frugal life, he was so awe-inspiring in conduct and instruction, that adheres strictly to the Buddha’s teachings, that he was posthumously conferred as the 13th Patriarch of the Pure Land Tradition by the Buddhist world, while being revealed to be a manifestation of Mahasthamaprapta [Dashizhi; Great Power Arrived] Bodhisattva. Never flashy, yet he remains prominent in his influence as an outstanding teacher. Remember – even the Buddha, who announced his true and full enlightenment, did not keep harping on his status, and let the worth of his actions and teachings speak for themselves. Egoistic imposters however, seek more attention for deluded reasons. Their demons are all clearly reflected in the great mirror of the Surangama Sutra!

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thevioletcaptain · 6 years

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13.03 Patience

THE VERDICT

A play-by-play recap with meta-adjacent notes is under the cut!

ALL THE THINGS

THEN!

Cas is dead!

Dean is SUPER FUCKED UP over Cas being dead!

Look at him screaming! And saying Goodbye, Cas!

And kneeling over his dead body!

Jack has big scary nephilim powers

Wraiths exist!

Jack’s big scary nephilim powers also work to save Winchesters sometimes because he’s a lil nugget of nougaty sunshine!

Dean is expecting Jack to turn evil any day now

Sam has a stress headache because of it

Sam used to have a demon blood addiction

Dean told Jack he’d kill him if it came down to it

(It was way harsh, Tai)

NOW!

Right off the bat, we have a poster on the wall of the psychic’s shop that reads The power of self manifestations. Self-awareness and self-actualization is key, a theme that was recurring last season and is carrying over into this season.

This wraith kinda looks like a low budget Dean Winchester. Look at that maroon shirt!

At first I thought the tarot spread looked like a simplified Celtic Cross, but the order in which Dede lays down the cards is a little different to how I do it, so I may be wrong. I haven’t been able to figure out a more likely spread though, so if anyone thinks they know one please tell me about it!

For now, I’ll just assume it’s one of the many variants of a Celtic Cross and go with a basic reading based on that:

Card 1 - The present - This card reflects the enquirer’s current situation or state of mind. Ten of Pentacles (reversed) can indicate financial failure, loneliness, or loss. Considering the current storylines of the show, and that the wraith is wearing his best Dean Winchester costume, I’m going to go ahead and assume that he’s a particularly horrendous Dean mirror and that the card is not talking about finances in this case. Card 2 - The challenge - This card represents the obstacle that needs to be overcome. The King of Cups in this position indicates a need for compassion, consideration, and honesty with regard to ones own emotions. Basically, it’s the “quit repressing and projecting” card, and the fact that it’s here is making me believe my wraith-as-dean-mirror theory even more. Card 3 - Below - This card represents the enquirers underlying feelings about the situation. The Hermit in this position indicates self-discovery, introspection, and desire for a new direction. Card 4 - The Past - This card shows how the current situation or challenge came to be. The Hanged Man appearing in the past position indicates stalling, indecision, restriction, or martyrdom as the root cause of a current challenge. Card 5 - Above - This card represents the enquirer’s goal or best case scenario for the situation Card not visible Card 6 - The Future - This card represents the next step in the enquirer’s journey Card not visible

You can clearly see Dede laying down the last two cards, but the angle of the shot means that we can’t see their faces. Which is infuriating! Because those two are the ones with the really juicy stuff!

But whatever, the rest of the cards are all… surprisingly a lot more relevant than I expected them to be. I was kinda expecting to find that the cards were utter nonsense, and that the wraith’s shirt was just a shirt in this case. But nope, these tarot cards are very Dean.

Also, while we’re on the topic of tarot cards—here’s a fun but largely irrelevant fact! A picture inspired by the Hermit tarot card appears on the inside cover of Zeppelin IV.

I actually really wish this wraith was not dressed like Dean, because he’s creepy as fuck and I don’t much like the idea of looking for Dean in him. But here we are. I don’t think there’s really anything else about him that’s worth analysing, but I’ll keep an eye out anyway.

Aaaaaand there he goes, stabbing poor Dede through the hand and then jabbing her in the back of the neck. That fucker >:[

Alriggghht, cold open is over! And I already have close to 800 words here. Sweet merciful Zeus.

Alright. Three seconds of actual episode has just happened and I need to write another hundred words about what is going on on the screen. Even though we’ve already seen this bit in the S13 promo, it’s still A WHOLE LOT. So here we go.

Dean has eight empty beers on the floor by his bed. Three Margiekugels—the “Mom” beer—and five bottles of Flathead Nation—Cas’ failed apology beer from S8.

There’s literally zero chance that these two beers were chosen at random. Drinks on this show, especially beer, have always been symbolically important. And Dean is drinking his feelings about the two people he’s just lost. And like the then sequence told us, the one that’s really messing with him is not his mom, but Cas.

Which is… wow. Like, they’re really going hard now.

Subtle who? I don’t know her.

Dean’s listening to Rip This Joint by The Rolling Stones, which is sadly not the Zeppelin mixtape we’d all been hoping for (presumably because Zepp are terrible when it comes to granting the rights to use their songs in things) but it’s basically a road song that takes you across the US.

It’s off Exile On Main Street, which means I’m forced to think about the episode with the same name, and therefore forced to think about Dean’s djinn-hallucination Azazel saying “The big daddy brought your pal Cas back, right? So why not me? Add a little spice to all that -- that sugar.”

Honestly, send so much help.

Dean legit thinking of Cas as sugar was over half the show ago.

When will my suffering end???

Anyway. Lyrical content and tangential associations of this song/album aside, this is some Grade A juxtaposition here. This is one of the Stones’ fastest songs. It’s the sort of song you jump around to. To put it simply, it’s fun. And Dean is listening to it alone in his room, looking like this:

He’s at breaking point. He’s been at breaking point for days. He kinda looks like he’s been crying. Ugh, my heart.

Back when the S13 promo was released, I briefly mentioned that the shelf above Dean’s bed was missing the cross that had been standing and falling in time with Cas’ waxing and waning grace. But now I’m noticing that it’s not just the cross that’s missing. It’s basically everything.

There are a few lore books stacked over toward one side, but all of Dean’s weapons & assorted lived-in looking clutter is gone :(

This wounds me because the shelf over Dean’s bed (and just his room in general) has been something he’s taken pride in in the past. He never had his own room before, so since he got this one he wanted to make it his, make it awesome. And he’s had stuff on that shelf the whole time. But now it’s bare. And I’m crying about it.

Timestamp now says we’re 02:59 into the episode lmao

Jack’s hand on the wall here… oh my. This really is going to be a long scorecard.

Jack + walls has definitely been established as a thing at this point.

We saw him touching the wall of the jail cell in 13x01, saw him with his back to the wall in 13x02, and there are multiple instances in this episode—starting with this moment, and recurring later when Sam finds him sitting pressed into the corner of the room.

Symbolically, there’s also the barrier between worlds that Jack broke a hole in before he was born. The wall painted with his name in the nursery he never got to use.

It’s probably too early to tell if this motif will end up being about confinement, protection, the destruction of barriers, or some other angle I’m yet to pin down, but whatever the meaning, there’s definitely something about Jack and walls. Watch this space, I guess.

Also, given that we shift from a shot of Dean’s misery, directly into this one of Jack appearing to ~sense something, my gut feeling is that there’s a connection there.

Considering that he’s seemed pretty sensitive to emotions (both his own and other people’s), I can’t help but wonder if he’s got some kind of supernatural empathic abilities.

“Who is it?” “It’s me… uhhhh, Sam.”

This made me laugh a lot. Jack’s door-related-manners which have apparently been included as a key characterisation aspect for the writers seeing as they’ve carried over from last week.

I also appreciate it when Sam gets to be a bit awkward.

I don’t think I’ve mentioned yet today that Jack is adorable. He’s adorable.

He’s wearing white here! Blank slate Jack! His costuming is proving to be rather important.

Jack has his own room! Number 22. This places it in between Sam’s room and the kitchen (in theory, given that the bunker is a shapeshifting labyrinth)

Interesting that he’s been given his own room, when Mary and Cas both used room 15—what seems to be a random guest room. Presumably because the guys never really expected them to stay. And now I have feelings about that again. Dammit. @ Dabb please let Cas have his own room when he comes back this time.

Sam showing Jack how to watch the video is the cutest shit I’ve ever seen

Jack is so polite. What a nice boy!

Knowing that Kelly had always wanted to be a mom has fucking destroyed me, jfc. And Sam’s face when he’s listening to Kelly talking & watching Jack being sad is TERRIBLE. The pain of losing a mother you never got a chance to know is something he knows all too well (even if Mary did come back)

Missouri!

So… the turducken slammer on a wagon wheel ciabatta bun is BACK! INTERESTING. Gotta bring back the grief sandwich to really hammer the pain home. But just for a limited time!

“Jack, don’t let anyone tell you who you’re supposed to be. Because who you’re supposed to be isn’t fate. It isn’t me. It isn’t your father. You are who you choose to be. And I know you’re gonna be okay. You are gonna be amazing. You have an angel watching over you.”

First of all: *points emphatically at that thing I said about self-awareness and self-actualization*

Themes, themes, as far as the eye can see!

Second of all: the fact that Kelly had complete faith in Jack, but she’s GONE, is utterly heartbreaking. Somebody give this kid a hug.

And here comes Dean, wandering out into the library with dead eyes and another bottle of Flathead Nation. I’m fine. This is fine.

(I can’t even appreciate Sam being on the phone with Jody because I’m so upset. And that’s my jam, right there.)

“I got a call from Missouri Moseley.” “Wow—what’s it been, like a decade?” “More.”

I’m sorry, I just need to take a moment to consider that this show has been around for thirteen seasons and that there is even a character that we met at the beginning who can just TURN UP AFTER A DECADE IN REAL TIME. Like. What the frick. What the frickety frack.

“She said she got out of the life for a while, but something happened, and she needed help with a case. So I put Jody on it.”

“We need to stay here. We need to help Jack learn how to control his powers. Jody can handle this.” “Yeah, maybe she can. Or, maybe she ends up dead because you wanted to skip out on her to babysit the antichrist.”

………..welp

“If you wanna stay here and Mr Miyagi this kid? Knock yourself out. I didn’t sign up for that. So I’m gonna go to work.”

Dean’s face in this moment? AWFUL.

He seriously spends this entire episode of the verge of an absolute breakdown, and I really hope that Jensen took some time to breathe between takes because this must have taken a hell of a lot out of him

Also, IMO, Dean telling Sam this? It shows a lot more emotional maturity than Sam is giving him credit for. Sam is legit just sitting there rolling his eyes as though Dean is being unreasonable here, but… man. Dean’s right. He never agreed to look after Jack—and he’s made that clear from day one. Sam trying to force him do do some pretty fucking heavy emotional labor with this kid who is (unfortunately, and unwillingly) responsible for Cas’ death and the presumed death of Mary? That’s… honestly, it’s the most John-like behavior Sam has displayed in a while.

…fuck

I feel like this season’s parallels with S1 just smacked me in the face. I’m pretty sure I’ve already talked about them (and other people definitely have) but like. Yikes.

This whole episode is very Sam-being-John, tbh

Where’s that gifset of Henry and Sam when I need it? Oh, here it is.

Anyway.

JODY! MISSOURI!

“I always did love that car.” Missouri knows whats up

“Oh, honey. I’m sorry for your losses.”

Oh look, an almost identical line to the one she delivered to Sam re: Jess back in season one.

This is fine

“How’re you doing?” “Dandy.”

THIS IS ENTIRELY FINE

“Victim was found with a hole in the base of her skull, and her brains—sorry.” Awkward, Jody

“Train me… to what?” Look at Jack in his grace-blue shirt, as Sam tries to teach him to use his powers.

Sam should give Jack a copy of Matilda if he wants him to try and move stuff with his mind. It’s impossible to read that book without at least giving it a shot.

The way he’s just sitting there and staring, waiting for Jack to do as he’s told—it’s so pushy.

As much as we all flinched last week when Dean referred to Jack as it, in this moment Sam is treating him as little more than a tool. It’s… honestly, it’s kind of awful. The kid is only a few days old.

The way Sam is treating Jack here is all a part of how he is processing his grief, imo, and I’ll talk more about it a bit later.

Missouri spoke to Sam for two minutes two days ago. She spoke to Dean for seventeen minutes yesterday. Hmm.

JAMES MIDDLE NAME TURNER, DON’T YOU HANG UP ON YOUR MOM SHE HAS IMPORTANT THINGS TO TELL YOU

Google maps tells me that Buckhead, Georgia is a fourteen and a half hour drive from Omaha, Nebraska. Dean and Jody roadtrip! We were robbed of the long conversations they must have had.

“James won’t have anything to do with me.” “Why not?” “He has his reasons.”

Dean’s face here—

This is the expression of a man who wants to argue, who wants to say “screw his reasons, you’re family and he’ll regret it if you never see each other again.”

But it’s like he doesn’t even have the energy right now. When he does put up some resistance about Missouri staying behind (“I don’t like that at all.”) it’s

“You don’t have to like it. You just have to do it. You save my family.”

I’m lowkey annoyed at Missouri for putting this kind of pressure on him when she knows how much he’s hurting, but also she knows she’s gonna die, so I can’t be too annoyed.

But like.

Look at him.

He looks like a frightened child.

“I can’t. Nothing. I’m useless.” OH JACK HONEY, NO :(

He really is a mirror for all of team free will :(

Listen to Sam here, though—he’s not offering compassion. Jack called himself useless, and instead of saying “you’re not useless, you’re just learning” or something to that effect, Sam is hyperfocused on just making Jack’s powers work. This is such a John behavior.

I know you’re not great with your own feelings, Sambulance, but grief is making you far too practical and insensitive for your own good.

Related note: god, i love sam and i love how much bobo gets him

because he can be so self-centered as a direct result of the “sam is the most important” environment he was raised in but failed to see that he was raised in. and so a lot of the time when he needs something, or wants something, that’s final for him. This gets magnified when he’s under duress, as he is right now. We saw a bit of it in the last episode when Dean said he didn’t want to babysit Jack, and Sam responded in a way that implied that Dean was just overreacting because of his grief, while he considers his own “use the magic nougat baby to rip a fucking hole in the universe and maybe save mom” plan to be perfectly reasonable.

Sure, it might work. We obviously know that Mary is still alive, but Sam’s going on a pretty big maybe here. The whole “save Jack” plan is at least half as much about his grief for Cas and his denial about Mary as it is about just helping, but he’s attempting to reframe it as wholly altruistic because he needs to feel like he has the moral high ground.

Which he needs to feel that he has because of all of his issues surrounding the demon blood arc, etc etc. That severely fucked him up, and so he does have this thing about morality now, where he needs to assert himself as being on the right side to prove to himself that he’s not on the wrong side.

Fuck, I love Sam. What a complex and excellent character.

Also, anyone who wants to come and yell at me for calling him self centered can bite my entire ass because 1. He absolutely is self centered, 2. that doesn’t make him a bad person, it just makes him a PERSON with a flaw, and 3. being self centered doesn’t make this glorious moose a bad person by any stretch of the imagination, and denying a character’s flaws exist just because you don’t like them says more about you than him. So.

(Sorry if I seem defensive, but I’ve seen some utter horseshit from an ugly subset of fandom over the past few days, so I figured I’d get that out of the way now)

Anyway. Back to the scene.

Jack says that when he used his powers before, “It was like… breathing. Blinking. It just happens.”

So far, he’s used his powers six times, and each time—aside from the instance where Asmodeus got into his head—it’s been because of a strong emotion. - When Dean tried to shoot him in the nursery (fear) - When angels started screaming inside his head (fear/pain) - When Dean approached him again at the police station (fear) - When Dean called him evil in the hotel room (hurt) - When Asmodeus made him think he was doing something good (manipulation) - When Asmodeus tried to hurt the Winchesters & Donatello (fear)

At this point, it’s been pretty well established that Jack’s powers are directly wired to emotions. Actually, I discounted the time with Asmodeus, but though it was through manipulation, it still kind of falls under the same category—Asmodeus convinced Jack that he was doing something good, something heroic. After overhearing all the talk of him being bad… the desire to do something good, something that God wanted him to do, must have been overwhelming for Jack. He opened the gate to hell out of hope, out of wanting to help someone who he thought he could trust. Someone who manipulated him.

And now here’s Sam, trying to make him use his powers. And though his intentions might be good, his aforementioned grief is making him lose all tact. “It was like he was in my head.” “Okay, then um… imagine him doing that.”

Sam. Babe. Asking him to relive a traumatic experience where someone manipulated him into using his powers, just so that you can make him use his powers for your own means? Kinda fucked up. Like, I get it. But Sammy. No.

“No? Why not?” WHY DO YOU THINK, SAM?

“I can’t do this, and you keep staring at me, waiting.”

The face of a man who doesn’t yet realize why he’s not getting anywhere

…which room is this scene taking place in? Have we seen this room before? Have they had this table and chairs the whole time????

Missouri :(

I assumed she wouldn’t make it to the end of the episode pretty much as soon as I heard she was coming back with a granddaughter for the spinoff (figured that if Patience still had anyone connected to the supernatural world in her life, she would have no need to go join Jody’s home for wayward girls.)

So I managed to emotionally prepare for this eventuality

But still :(

That said, look at her standing her ground and basically telling this jerk to go fuck himself

“Well, I guess it’s time to, y’know. Scream.” “No, there’ll be none of that. I’ve seen how this turns out. I run? You catch me, I die. I stay, I die. But this way, my people? They’re going to murder your ass.”

YOU TELL HIM, MISSOURI

“Y’know, this’d be a lot more fun if you screamed.” “Tough.”

!!!!

What a fuckin’ line

SCREEEEECH IT’S PATIENCE AND HER FRIEND

This has just made me realize that I’m up to 4k words. Fourteen minutes into the episode. I’m a mess. Gonna try to get through the rest of this episode in a reasonable and timely manner, because otherwise I’m going to be here for hours.

So I just want to say here before I start talking about Patience (I love her!!!!) that her bff Ronson? One of the most realistic depictions of a teenage girl I’ve ever seen on television, especially for a presumably one-off character. I already said this on twitter, but the single serving characters this season have all been brilliant. Last season, I got used to seeing particularly well developed side characters in Yockey episodes, but I’m thrilled to see them across the board so far this season.

Anyway! Patience! Is a nerd! I love her!

This is a particularly unpleasant nightmare that she’s having D:

Look at all those trophies!

“I had a nightmare, actually. Grandma was there.”

[stares at James] this is why WE DON’T HANG UP WHEN MOM CALLS WITH PSYCHIC VISIONS

Dean buying more Mom beer (and some super healthy road snacks in the form of jerky and potato chips) as he learns about Missouri’s death :( while at a Gas-n-Sip :( which I just accidentally typed as Cas-n-Sip because DUH

“It’s about your mom. Missouri sent us, she’s—“ “She’s dead.” Yikes, Dean.

So continues his complete lack of energy to deal with anything gently.

Also: sadness stubble :(

Also also: his eyes look glassy at literally every point during this episode and I’m in agony

Patience is not even into Crazy Hot Ahmed who’s been drooling all over her in class, and I’ll tell you why:

Yep everyone on Wayward is gonna be queer, I don’t make the rules

I love her sunshine yellow tshirt and her lil space backpack and her [gestures vaguely at her entire existence]

Aaaannd there’s the creepy wraith dude, back to be a skeeve again

I’m so thrilled that she snapped off his gross wraithy proboscis spike

Wham bam Deody!

…that really doesn’t work as well as wham bam Jam (and for good reason, tbh) :P

Anyway WOO DEAN AND JODY

“I lost him”

Bobo how dare you make Dean say that particular sentence right now, we’re all fragile

Patience really got first psychic visions in the most disturbing way :(

Sam, spying on Jack via a camera after he just told you that being stared at was upsetting him is probably…. not great.

But look. Though Sam is acting out some shitty behaviors, his heart is definitely in the right place. The book he’s reading—The Drama of the Gifted Child: The Search for the True Self—shows that Jack’s wellbeing does matter to him for reasons beyond what Jack can do, but man he’s struggling to act like it. Grieeefffff.

For reference, the description of this book on Goodreads says; “As charming performers who skillfully reflect their parents expectations, far too many children grow into adults driven to greater and greater achievements by an underlying sense of worthlessness. Never allowed to express their true feelings, and having lost touch with their true selves, they act out their repressed feelings with episodes of depression and compulsive behavior. They in turn inflict the same legacy of repression on their own children. This poignant and thought-provoking book shows how narcissistic parents form and deform the lives of their children. The Drama of the Gifted Child is the first step toward helping readers reclaim their lives by discovering their own needs and their own truth.”

The chapter he opens the book to is titled “Depression and Grandiosity: Two Related Forms of Denial”

Just…. fuck.

Honestly, Sam and Dean (and Cas, when he comes back) need to read this book for themselves just as much as they do for Jack.

Sam tossing the book when he realizes that Jack has disappeared is the Giffable Comedy Moment of the episode. It’s right up there with Dean throwing that broken coat rack (was it a coat rack? i can’t quite remember) in Lost and Found

Jack is breaking my heart more and more with every moment. Alexander Calvert was an excellent casting choice.

“I know this isn’t exactly fun—“ “No. It’s the opposite of fun.” :((((

SAM, listing all the horrible things that Jack’s powers have done!!! Is probably not helpful!! He’s already scared of himself and what he could do!!

(I realize Sam is about to figure this out but SAAAAMMMM) :P

“It makes sense if I’m evil.” BABY :((((((

“Why do you think you’re evil? Because when I look at you? That’s not what I see.” c’mon sam, you’ve almost worked it out

“Well, Dean sees it. That’s why he says… he said he’d kill me.” :((((((((

“I’ve only been on earth for a few days, and I’ve already hurt people. I’ve already done bad things. And no matter how hard I try, I can’t— I can’t do the one good stupid thing that you want me to. So… I must be evil. Like Lucifer.” oh honeyyyy

“I think that uh, after everything that’s happened, you’re probably scared to use your power. And me pressuring you certainly isn’t helping.” YES, SAM FINALLY GETS IT

And look how guilty he looks about what he’s been doing. Ugh, Sammmmm. You’ve just gotta work on the tunnel vision, love.

“What d’ya say we call it. Until I find a better way. How does that sound?” “Good.” :’)

“Why are you being so nice to me?”

SWEET MERCIFUL ZEUS this kid needs a puppy in his life as much as Sam does

“I know what it feels like, to feel like you don’t belong. To feel like there’s this darkness inside of you, to be scared of who you are, what you can do. Dean, Cas… my family helped me through that. So now I wanna help you. Because you’re not evil, Jack.”

MY ENTIRE SOUL <3

Okay, Sam now hug your nephew, because the kid needs one

I actually rambled on twitter about Sam’s approach to Jack earlier, so here’s what I said there:

Sam’s approach to Jack has so many layers that I could (and probably will) spend days picking them apart. There’s empathy there, of course—because Sam knows exactly how it feels. Because he’s struggled with the fear of innate evil, of wielding a power he’s unprepared for.At the most conscious level, Sam is trying to do for Jack what he wishes someone had done for him then. But! Because of who Sam is—someone who is, for better or worse, much more adept at dealing with other people's issues than his own—he seems almost unaware that he's using Jack as a means to an end.

When he realizes what he's doing? The guilt there is palpable. Because Sam is a good person, who wants to lead, to set an example, to help, but he struggles with power even when the power is not his own

And of course, it's all compounded by the loss of Mary & Cas. He so clearly needs to save Jack not only to find a way to save Mary, but--also to make sense of Cas' sacrifice. Because if Jack is predestined to be evil, then not only did Cas die for nothing, but literally nothing any of them have ever done has had meaning.

If Jack is predestined to be evil, free will is a lie, and Sam's entire worldview collapses.

Just... man. Sam's got some layers, & I saw every single one in this episode. The nuance in Berens' work is brilliant.

Patience is so hurt by her dad trying to protect her from the life by lying about her grandmother, and I’m :(((

The parade of parenting mistakes is just never ending tbh

“I always believed in her powers, I had total faith in them, but— they were wrong.”

He couldn’t forgive Missouri because she promised that Tess would be fine, but she died.

(Dean can’t forgive Jack because he promised Cas that everything would be fine, but he died.)

I’m 1000000% here for all moments of Jody comforting Dean. The difference in her relationship with Dean (maternal) and her relationship with Sam (adult equal) has been growing more and more stark lately, and it’s so interesting even from a non-Jammy perspective, because logically you’d think she’d be more maternal to the younger brother. I should dig into this subject more at some point.

[weak laughter as I think about all the things I need to dig into at some point]

James is a good guy and that makes this whole thing even more upsetting :(

“My dream last night? I saw what happened before it happened.” James is so afraid of what this means for his daughter and her safety :(

Thanks to this brooch and how it was just presented as a kind of talisman connected to memories of Missouri, I wonder if there’s a chance that we’ll still see Missouri in Wayward—as a kind of guide in Patience’s mind or something.

Did I mention yet how good Jody looks in this episode? Because whoa. Give me a break, Kim Rhodes, I can only handle so much.

Ahhh, I love when they use magic!

Oh, creepy wraith, talking about how you feel strong and clear and focused after feeding on psychics. You’re definitely a mirror of Dean’s past few years (the MoC, demon!Dean, Amara’s thrall) and I’m super glad you’re gonna die at Dean’s hand. The last thing we need is more dark Dean. We just crawled out of that Miserable Pit and into this refreshing Pit of Misery.

(There is absolutely a difference)

“First? Gross.” Perfect. Patience is the best.

The staBSTABSTABSTAB when the wraith kills Dean in Patience’s vision is so visceral jfc

I absolutely ADORE the fact that Patience used the powers that her father feared to rescue everyone (Jack mirror, much?)

Remember last week when I said that Dean’s fighting style is notably different this season? I meant to write more on that (I have an ask about it from @magess that I have not forgotten about but just haven’t had time to give it a proper response) but for now, I’ll just add this:

He’s using his environment to fight. Which is, much like the general physicality of how he fought last week, generally something that women do. This is really damn interesting and also just… really cool. He really is Wonder Woman!

My heart aches over Jody trying to chat casually with Dean and compliment him on a hunt well done, but he’s just… going through the motions. He’s post-Heaven Buffy. His attempted smile of encouragement for Patience is tight and forced. He’s dying inside. I’m dying inside. We’re all dying inside.

Oh no, it’s Dean’s family dedication theme D:

“This life… hunting, monsters. There’s no joy in it. There’s nothing but pain, horror, and death. So if you get a chance at normal? You take it.”

He’s got so much regret that he didn’t get to keep the good thing when he had it (“You know, it wasn't long ago I thought we had it made. We saved the world. We got Cas back. We had Mom back. I mean, it wasn't perfect, but still… we had ‘em.”)

And then he has to walk away. Fuck. Why can’t I crawl into the screen to hug him?

JODY’S SPEECH.

“You don’t have to listen to him. To either of them, if it’s not what you really want. I got a… daughter, I guess. Claire. And I asked her to stay in line, to fight who she really was ‘cause I thought it would keep her safe. It didn’t work. It never does.”

LETTING PEOPLE CHOOSE FOR THEMSELVES! CHOICES! FREE WILL!

Goddd this arc that Dabb is crafting is the whole show’s central thesis in technicolor and I’m ecstatic

“If you try to force it down to make someone else happy, you will only make yourself miserable.”

IMPORTANT LIFE ADVICE

Also I wasn’t expecting Patience’s dad to survive (figured she’d have nobody left & go with Jody at the end) so I’m especially happy with this outcome that puts the power to choose completely in her hands

“How’s the kid, he go darkside yet?” (“It is a little absurd, though--Superman going to the dark side. I'm still just Castiel.”)

“No, Dean, he’s messed up because of you.”

[warning siren]

“See, you think you can use this freak. But I know how this ends. And it ends bad.” “I didn’t.”

As Sam blindsides him with this argument the moment he gets home, Dean is cornered by the framing:

“You saved me, so help me save him.” “You deserved to be saved—he doesn’t!” OOF

I’m so sorry you have to hear this, Jack. You’re a precious nougat baby and we love you and Dean is just very very sad right now.

“Look, I know that you think that you can use him as some sort of an inter-dimensional can opener, and that’s fine. But don’t act like you care about him. Because you only care about what he can do for you. So if you wanna pretend? That’s fine. But me? I can hardly look at the kid. ‘Cause when I do all I see is everybody we’ve lost.”

OW OW OW OW OW SEND HELP

“Mom chose to take that shot at Lucifer, that is not on Jack.” <—Sam’s primary grief is with Mary, even though he thinks she’s still within reach, so he assumes that Dean feels the same.

“And what about Cas?” “What about Cas?” FUCKING HELL SAM. “What about Cas?” is literally the worst thing you could have said to Dean right now.

“He manipulated him, made him promises, said paradise on Earth, and Cas bought it. And you know what that got him? It got him dead. Now you might be able to forget about that, but I can’t.”

FUCK

F U C K

It’s been obvious from the outset, but this right here is some flat out textual admission that Cas’ death is the thing that is affecting Dean the most. Which makes sense, because even though he loves Mary, she was dead for so long before that Dean’s already grieved for her. All of the extra time over the past year? That was just gravy. So yeah, he’s hurting over the loss of her, but it’s a loss that he’s largely already come to terms with. Cas? Not so much.

Dean’s grief is presenting as basically... nihilistic despair (this life--hunting, monsters... there's no joy in it. there's nothing but pain, horror, and death.) He’s really going full post-heaven Buffy.

i s2g Sam, this had better be your realization face, because Dean is losing his goddamn mind here

Jack, who over the past two episodes has been shown to be preoccupied with the fact that Dean hates him, has just now finally realized why Dean hates him, and immediately reached out into the fucking void to resurrect Cas by saying his name.

I’m just.

W o w

I suppose there’s an argument there that Jack using his powers to reach out to Castiel in this instance could be related to his own hurt over what Dean is saying, but… idk, you guys. Jack has been wanting to find Cas since his first words to Sam in the nursery, and he’s been plenty scared and hurt and lost since then.

But he hasn’t done it until now. When Dean’s grief came spilling out in this outburst because Sam just didn’t get it.

Honestly, I’m kind of reminded of Amara using Cas to find Dean.

Anyway… this is. I’m.

I don’t really have words at this stage. So… moving on… to…

CAS!!!!!

MY LOVE!!! Look at him on the screen!! Existing!! (in an endless void)

Interestingly, Cas appears here in the position of the Hanged Man tarot card, which we saw in the spread at the beginning of the episode. As a refresher, this card in that spread indicates stalling, indecision, restriction, or martyrdom as the root cause of a current challenge.

The current challenge? He’s dead. And that list of root causes is… fucking apt.

EXCEPT

LOOK

HE’S WAKING UP

HE’S NOT QUITE AS DEAD AS WE THOUGHT

IT’S TIME TO MOVE PAST ALL THAT STALLING, THAT INDECISION, THAT RESTRICTION.

IT’S TIME TO QUIT BEING A MARTYR

I’M NOT OKAY

ALL THE OTHER THINGS

Passed Bechdel-Wallace AND the DuVernay test!

The starkly different ways in which Sam and Dean are processing their grief is super interesting to me and I’m SO EXCITED that next week is going to explore it more deeply

I absolutely adore Patience and I can’t wait to see her again. Bring on all the #Wayward episodes <3

Missouri lived in Omaha. Missouri’s son goes by the name James Turner. Rufus Turner lost his daughter in Omaha. WHAT’S THE DEAL WITH TURNERS AND OMAHA? IS THIS JUST A COINCIDENCE OR IS IT THE RARER, SEXIER COINKYDINKS?

If you think I’d forgotten about the significance of the GnR song Patience to the DeanCas fandom, you’re super wrong. It’s been in my head for weeks, and I hope that wherever ex spn writer Adam Glass is, he knows that I’m squinting at him from the other side of the planet.

This is six and a half thousand words long lmao

Thanks for destroying me again, Berens

#cass says things #season thirteen scorecard #this is a long one oops #6.5k long in fact #kinda image heavy this time too #hopefully it's coherent #i think it mostly is #but also #//screams #meta adjacent #13x03 Patience #fandom: supernatural

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starwarsnonsense · 7 years

Text

Some thoughts on Phasma, redemption and the Rey and Kylo connection

I’ve just finished reading Phasma, and I very much enjoyed it. There’s a long lull in the middle where a flashback drags on for far too long and Phasma is easily the least interesting character in the book (newsflash! Phasma is a pitiless badass with no scruples! Who knew!?), but despite those deficiencies it’s an interesting story with some pretty great original characters.

In this piece, I’m going to be focusing on the dynamic between the characters of Cardinal, a high-ranking First Order captain, and Vi Moradi, a Resistance spy. In particular, I’m going to consider its potential implications in relation to the pressing questions of Kylo Ren’s redemption and the connection between Rey and Kylo going forward.

The premise of the book is that Cardinal takes Vi captive and interrogates her for information on Phasma’s background, but to say more than that is to venture into spoiler territory. In other words, dive beneath the cut if you want to read on!

In the book, Cardinal is fixated on uncovering dirt on Phasma’s past - she is viewed as the shining, untouchable poster child of the First Order. Cardinal feels that Phasma is gradually supplanting his position, encroaching on his responsibilities as an instructor to the child recruits of the First Order. He captures Vi because he knows she has intelligence on Phasma’s background, and he uses brutal interrogation techniques to extract her story, sending powerful bolts of electricity through her body. The descriptions of the torture are very vivid and visceral, to the extent that Vi is described as being too weak to stand unsupported.

But what’s really interesting is the complexity added to this dynamic - Vi is shown to know that Cardinal was recruited as a child soldier, and she picks up on his self-doubt and inexperience as an interrogator. Even as he subjects her to extremes of pain in order to extract information from her for his own ends, she continues to banter with him and clearly views him as something other than a complete lost cause. She recognises that he truly believes that what he is doing is right and has had his views warped by the First Order’s doctrine, and she uses this insight in order to talk him around and win his sympathy - he gives her better food and better treatment, and eventually lets her go free.

The story between the two characters is resolved with a striking act of forgiveness and compassion - instead of just saving herself, Vi disguises herself as a stormtrooper and lingers, saving Cardinal from bleeding out after a brutal confrontation with Phasma and helping him escape the First Order for good. In short, Vi saves Cardinal despite how brutally he treated her. Vi explains her reasoning:

“Why?” is all he can manage.

[...] “Because I am an infinitely hopeful creature, and I still think you can be flipped.”

Now, I’d like to think that the relevance of this to the lingering questions concerning Kylo’s redemption and the Rey and Kylo connection would be pretty self-evident. In both cases, you have a (male) senior figure in the First Order who interrogates a female member of the Resistance. And while we have yet to see the full story of Rey and Kylo play out, the example of Vi and Cardinal demonstrates that members of the First Order can be forgiven and even helped by the people that they harm. (It’s also worth mentioning that Vi’s interrogation is clearly far more brutal than Rey’s, which was conducted so as to cause as little discomfort as possible, at least if you believe the novelisation.) In the new canon, redemption and reconciliation - particularly when portrayed through the humanisation of the proverbial ‘other’, whether Imperials, First Order recruits or dark siders - are clearly the order of the day.

By recognising his humanity, Vi is able to tap into Cardinal’s potential for good - at first in relation to her personally, but also in relation to the wider Resistance cause going forward. After Cardinal has set her free, Vi makes him a remarkable offer:

“There’s another option [...] Defect. Escape with me. Come join the Resistance, or at least take their cash for some intel and run. They’ll give you a full pardon. If you can’t do that, I can still help you get off ship and onto any Outer Rim planet you like. Start a new life. You don’t have to be on the losing side here.”

This is a fascinating proposal, and I believe it suggests something very powerful and significant about the Resistance’s attitude towards defectors - instead of being treated as war criminals, they are seen as potential assets. I find this worth pointing out given that an argument I have frequently seen is that Kylo’s only future (if he were to be redeemed and join the Resistance) would be spent on the wrong side of a set of bars - Phasma suggests a very different eventuality by implying that a full pardon is possible, even for high-ranking First Order personnel, if the person being pardoned can make themselves useful enough.

But what is really more interesting to me is the portrayal of the personal dynamic between Vi and Cardinal, and how we see a growing affinity and sympathy develop between them despite the fact that they are a torturer and a captive. Vi’s piercing insight into Cardinal’s interior life, her ability to dig down to what makes him tick and find the goodness hidden beneath his armour, allows her to understand him as a human being and manipulate him accordingly. She knows he was an orphan of Jakku, and she recognises his quasi-religious fervour for the First Order cause. And she ultimately uses this emotional intelligence to manipulate him - both to win her own freedom, and to get him to take a long, hard look at the grim foundations of the military machine that he worships.

I find this aspect of their interactions particularly interesting and illuminating in relation to comments Daisy Ridley made to EW about Rey’s lack of understanding of Kylo:

She just doesn’t understand Kylo. When all she wanted was parents, why would a person who has parents do that? It’s so beyond comprehension, it’s ridiculous. So she has grief for the loss and then there’s anger. To be honest, she couldn’t understand doing something like that – let alone to your parents.

So, whereas Vi - thanks largely to her maturity and experience with the Resistance - has understanding and empathy that she is able to apply to Cardinal and use to both their benefits, Rey starts out The Last Jedi uncomprehending and struggling to understand how the beloved child Ben Solo became the father-killer Kylo Ren. This, in my opinion, is the perfect set-up for Rey to develop that understanding over the course of the film - I anticipate her journey taking her from baffled ignorance to understanding and empathy. Just as Cardinal’s armour hides an essentially good man whose outlook had been warped by years of indoctrination, Kylo’s mask conceals the story of an innocent child who was gradually lured away from grace.

Vi’s appreciation of Cardinal’s humanity is portrayed as her greatest weapon in Phasma - I like to think that Rey’s empathy, optimism and compassion will be depicted as strings in her bow in The Last Jedi.

#phasma #reylo #the last jedi #rey #kylo ren #the redemption question #meta #sw meta #star wars #star wars eu

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miamacdonald-uxui-research-703 · 4 years

Text

Beyond Talks - Day 1

Research for, in and through practice.

Speaker 1 -

Rosie Cox & Cathy Campbell - Xero - https://www.xero.com/nz/

Design at Xero - “research won’t give you the answers, but it will point you in the right direction”.

C - Design research lead: Des majoring in Industrial at AUT, worked in research, strategy, Xero product team, in process from the beginning, customer to end product.

R - Designer: studied graphic design - branding, packaging, graphics - worked at a start-up building educational children’s apps.

Research is a part of everything that we do.

Community & social sites, design research, competitor analysis, data analytics…

Curve of uncertainty to confidence in product design, an inkling of an idea to a fully formed idea and product.

Generative: empathy research, customer research, what is the purpose? Is there a problem here? Are we solving the right problem? Absorbing information and a space of understanding.

Evaluative: are we solving the problem in the right way? Sharing paper prototypes, sharing idea, getting critique, usability at the end of it.

Observed people doing tax returns and interacting with Xero software, from doing 6 observations, they came up with insights on where they could alleviate pain or save time through improving the software. Did a design sprint with marketers, engineers and designers - consolidated down to 1 solution, tested with 6 external customers, then iterations and testing - look at data analytics and iterations cont.

Tools: generative - what / why are we finding out? Define assumptions before testing, design question framework to take you through a good conversation (to cross off points, e.g. snowball analogy), mindset of being empathetic - they are the expert, not you. E.g. “Miro” board (whiteboards/post-it notes digital, e.g. digitises real post-it notes with handwritten type, also used to capture feedback from users in different colours) — organise post-it notes, transcripts, finding commonalities in problem spaces, sharing with project team. What are the possibilities? What value will it drive?

Try e.g card sort - see if your ideas are the same, paper prototyping - scribbling away ideas / co-designing, or take them through a clickable prototype - asking unloading questions to open it up.

Usability - e.g. clickable prototype or product in production, online or in person, see interactions / where mouse is moving - feedback to the team.

Researchers are only as valuable as what they can share with their team of people. Understand what you’re working on and share it with other people.

Be comfortable with not knowing, clear about what you don’t know.

Desirability hat, but also viability and technical feasibility. Working with existing technology, many hats in the development process.

Take up research as a way to provide objectivity and rationale to your ideas.

Be curious - ask questions. Ask “why?” - why the customer needs it, why it’s important to the business, what’s the point in doing it. Why is important.

Xero Graduate Program - curious people, know about user testing, ask why, willing to learn, knowing you are part of a team, collaboration. https://www.xero.com/nz/about/careers/graduate/2021-product-design/

Data privacy, how you store information.

Optimal workshop - digital tool: card sorts, tree testing, groupings https://www.optimalworkshop.com

Team structure - “product designers” traditionally UX/UI designers. 1 accounting software, teams split across products, EGM of Design - Directors (1 area), Design Managers, team of Product Designer who work with a POD (product owner, devs, QA’s), Design Researchers (13 in total) - 75/80 people combined across team.

Developers / Engineers love data - watching user videos helps to empathise.

Ethics, legal team comes up with guidelines - do you need to collect that information, is a relevant for this project. The more data you collect, the more you need to get rid of over time. GDPR - rules around data collection.

Security, e.g. X1 (confidential, can’t leave the office) - X5 (anyone can see this)

Usability testing, depends on project and deliverables, UI has a structure around it (visually) at Xero, testing becomes more specific as prototypes change. Trying to test too much is a big pitfall, if you get clear on the top 3 things you want to find out, answer questions, define what it is you are trying to find out. Understand the point where you’re at, have you moved from UX to UI?

Test the concept, solution, value proposition first, before spending time putting detailed UI screens together.

Speaker 2 -

Alastair McCready - Inhouse - alistairmccready.com

Graphic and typeface designer - few Best awards, past AUT student

Craft of the working designer

Fonts - makes them, used to be a screen printer, using the pen tool,

“Letters are signs for sounds” - Eric Gill

Metaphors - saying something without saying it - with fonts, hinting at things or moods.

Typeface designer (makes the type, e.g. luthier guitar analogy) / typographer (someone who uses type, e.g. guitar player)

Colophon Foundry - type foundry (photo)

Commercial and bespoke range of clients.

Typographic memorials - in parks - was influential.

Research and practice

Project 1 - King’s Theatre - in Brooklyn (NY) - water damaged, got restored

Mike Meyer (sign-writer) inspired rail-lettering style but still hand drawn style. Developed it into a system - used on posters since.

Project 2 - James Bond font - Eon Productions

Looking at James Bond as a character, personality - e.g. never see him eating, he’s a solitary guy, often seen in isolation, walked the streets of London trying to get perspective.

Interpol - Guggenheim in NY - style - brutalism / modernism of architecture, bauhaus masters, imagery to pull from. ‘Babbakin’ area.

Uno Goldfinger - Architect

Set designer - Ken Adam

Napier (from here) - was smashed by an Earthquake, art deco street signs, Futura is an art deco typeface.

Typeface for James Bond, inspired by idea that it would need to look OK on a whisky bottle and on the side of a building. It’s a tool which unites elements together, e.g. watch, t-shirt both saying the same thing. Multiple weights, deck weight for subheadings.

Crests - designed to be made small - James Bond’s family crest.

Project 3 - Type as Monument - type as a memorial Trajan column in Rome.

Photographing memorials for war, NZ gave more people in WWI than other countries.

Primary research - taking a wall rubbing of plaques

“It’s about the journey, not the destination.”

Try to enjoy what you’re doing at the time.

Memorial fonts - Memorial / Flagstaff

Put it in a book, which will be published “Memorial As Type”

Scars on the landscape that unite us.

Type is a way of expressing himself, without spelling it out.

Find something that is endless to develop upon, growing research.

SO much work to be done in the type industry.

“I’m not a pilot but I could’ve been a really good pilot” - grew up around planes, his dad flies, used to hang out with the old guys who restore planes. He helped them to restore the graphics and lettering on the sides of the planes, numbers on the side of a Lancaster.

Peter Gilder - “the more reading you do, the better writer you’ll become” - it’s the same with fonts, the more you use type the more you’ll understand it. It’s a matter of caring and reading, his mentor in the UK teaches him stuff he thought he already knew. Be aware and look at other work, processes of why a font was designed for certain purposes.

Software: font lab, robo font (user can build more additions to software), glyphs (main recommendation - doesn’t crash, friendly user interface) - uses it for drawing logos.

Try to be original, but don’t be too hung up on being original. Reference 2 things, but create something new, or add on it, look backwards to see forwards.

Have confidence in your passion, get involved with DINZ, Designworks - working as an intern as he was eager and active, serving beers at a DINZ event, Anzac Tasker was there at the event, he was the only student at DINZ that night.

Passion shows through to people who give you a chance.

Is type as monument national or international - or inherent to a place - a certain tone of voice at a certain memorial - grandure or religion. Find a project where you can narrow your gaze, narrow the scope, focus on NZ heritage, ANZAC memorials, became a NZ project. Theory behind it could be international.

Achievable, local, available project.

Speaker 3 -

Felicia Irene - Culture & Theory - https://www.cultureandtheory.co.nz

Strategy Researcher - operates within a strategy team - picks key insights to deliver strategic work.

New York called, interned for Saatchi & Saatchi NY, 8 weeks, asked her to stay until her visa was up.

Passionate people doing cool work, Walmart account - world’s largest retailer at that time.

She freelanced in New Zealand, but wasn’t learning as quickly as she was in an agency.

Culture & Theory was a team of 4 (4 years ago) now they are a team of 12.

Business / Strategy / Design - started as a Designer, became a Strategist.

Compiles info about products and services for strategy team, from internal team to brand specific comms to consumer research.

Start broad, then find the essential issue - capture the issue or challenge.

Visual research - meaning or emotions.

Strategy - timeline of products or services, where numbers have grown or not. Look at issue or noise around it, e.g. Coca Cola (plastic, sustainability issue), and what are the competitors doing? What are they doing that we don’t? What is effective about it?

Research in supermarkets, whether products are standing out or not.

International landscape - outside the NZ market - find nuggets to inform argument.

Process takes a lot of curiosity, capture a lot.

Find an informed point of view, “why?” Ask the hard questions to the client and yourself, does it make a difference? Bullet-proof your argument.

The world is moving fast. Cultural trends - fall behind without knowledge of cultural trends.

Research - Hypothesise about the future* Brian Collins (strategy)

Ask what the reason is for the topic’s existence? Think of having a future beyond getting your degree. Find one thing you’re most annoyed about and find a solution for it. Or think about an area that you’re most passionate about, passion is contagious - immerse yourself in it.

All Birds, Patagonia, Blunt Umbrellas, Rhino, iPhone, Fjallraven backpacks.

The best designers think strategically, know the problem, find the solution.

“Design is a benevolent agent of change, it comes up with a thesis or an idea or premise about the future. It builds artefacts to make it real.”

Research trends, from the past year, think about what it means going forward.

Strategy and creative phase - seamless workflow

Memes - deliver on emotion or point in time - relatability to people - not a serious form of communication

Freelancing - differences between freelancing and agency: clients / small businesses with specific projects, agency project timelines are really tight, not just deliverables but it’s about the idea - the conceptual part.

Walmart “store of the future” idea at that time.

Do you have focus groups for strategy? Yes, workshops for brand (client and internal team come together) - qualitative research to test out an idea with a consumer to test potential of idea going forward.

Good things are working, bad things need to be tackled or challenged, interesting things are usually emerging.

Noise in sustainability area surrounding brands, where the world’s moving. You can’t decouple sustainability from any products or services.

Start-ups have a bigger appetite for change, but as an agency you can have a voice of change.

Portfolio advice - sometimes the prettiest tangible design work doesn’t resonate, how much passion you have is what counts as a junior and being able to articulate things / presentation. How much you are able to articulate an issue verbally, to sell an idea, convince the client and what you can do to solve it.

Meet people, talk to people, be excited.

AUT Internz program, domestic and international internships - apply to be in the pool, then later in the year apply for the particular company. e.g. Red Antler.

https://internz.aut.ac.nz

Speaker 4 -

Monique Redmond - AUT

How practice generates research

Practicing artist for 25 years, went to art school in the late 80’s went to teaching college and was a teacher for many years.

Photographic, installation and social exchange practice.

Exchange, reciprocity,

Flowers, ceramics and printed matter.

Drive-by photographs from inside the car - of flowers and flowering trees, some will have been photographed over 15 years.

Drive-by as a suburban inhabitant, became a map of her movements across space, a method.

Ceramics, in the 1970’s e.g. Public Share collective - a nod to the quintessential morning tea cup.

Collating recipes - used baking as a way to host in a social art residency. Cultural space of difference, e.g. sultanas not existing in the US.

Magnolia as an object hood in her life. Each year represents 1 flowering “A Floral Gesture” project iterations, distribution in the world - ‘take away magnolia’ printed on a folded publication.

Misprint of a magnolia photo - Index Studio print.

Characteristics of a Risograph print (as a material or process), situates it as a conceptual flower. Generosity as a material for her PHD project.

@afloralgesture - Instagram tag

Akzidenz Grotesk - Marcel Bloodthaers, e.g. Moi Aussi (1964) refused to work along the Fluxus / Dada movement at the time, he challenged it and printed over photographs.

index.org.nz

“I like to think of noticing as a conceptual act.”

The idea of what it means to keep company as a conceptual idea

The exchange event is the research focus.

Driving by is a daily practice, she mutters about flowers she notices.

An interest in publication, e.g. format of a newspaper - Flowering Now - ad in the newspaper about what is flowering in the suburbs - certain type of audience - argument about what she was announcing, she tried to explain contemporary art on the phone to the person at the Herald.

Black paper on the scanner (behind image) reduces the visual noise of the paper.

Everything begins with a story, a context. The research is the telling.

10 minute tea break, memory of having 9 minutes (excluding time to walk up and down the stairs).

Legislation around tea breaks, in 2015 the National govt took away the automatic right to take 2 x 10 min tea breaks in the working day, then the Labour govt re-introduced it.

“Public Share” art collective.

Tea break cups - glazed with colour inside.

Collective Agreement, one of the collective is a Lawyer and Installation artist.

The priority for the research is to locate the question of the idea. The idea of an artwork, an event, an exchange, a noticing.

Notions of care, empathy or love in a practice. Finding commonalities, social good, looking after one another.

Practice AS research - the idea of the document, an active archive. Practice-led research is informed by things we look at, e.g. Anna Miles (BVA)- intellectual neighbourhood or cultural neighbourhood.

Summary thoughts:

Noise around the work - Felicia / quiet research - the things I make are the things I love - Monique / notion of the idea and the uncertainty towards knowing more about a project and confidence emerging - Miro app - usability.com - Xero / scale of project - Alistair - finding the focus and making projects achievable, leave space for post-grad exploration.

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