#pasternosterlift

[valentin-talbot]

When You Begin to Understand the Poets

Time: Morning, 13th of May Place: The Proms Status: Closed, Self-Para

O what can ail thee, knight-at-arms,       Alone and palely loitering? The sedge has withered from the lake,       And no birds sing.

O what can ail thee, knight-at-arms,      So haggard and so woe-begone? The squirrel’s granary is full,      And the harvest’s done.

Benny was laughing. Not particularly loud or boisterously, but seemingly with truth in the emotion, about something Samuel by his side seemed to have said. Words like ‘sheer mirth’ or ‘unfettered gaiety’ didn’t find a home in the image quite yet. But Benny was laughing, and that was all that it took to make the world hold its breath.

I see a lily on thy brow,      With anguish moist and fever-dew, And on thy cheeks a fading rose      Fast withereth too.

I met a lady in the meads,     Full beautiful—a faery’s child, Her hair was long, her foot was light,     And her eyes were wild.

Another sunny day had fallen upon London and it was as though the whole of London Society had chosen this Friday morning for a walk in the park. None of them seemed quite free from the heaviness of sleep, not yet, feathers stuck in the corners of their eyes where Hypnos had laid his wings upon. Their dresses were neat but still sat stiff on their limbs, not yet chafed soft from a day of small talk. 

I made a garland for her head,      And bracelets too, and fragrant zone; She looked at me as she did love,      And made sweet moan

I set her on my pacing steed,       And nothing else saw all day long, For sidelong would she bend, and sing       A faery’s song.

It was going to be a warm day, heat inching closer over the horizon as the sun tinted the sky a bright Atlantic blue. Fans would soon fan rosy cheeks and children born to one day hold a title would escape from their nanny’s grip to dip their feet in the nearby fountains. Only by nightfall, coats would open like bindweed, the musky scent of a day spent in the sun would mingle into chatter and laughs. 

She found me roots of relish sweet,       And honey wild, and manna-dew, And sure in language strange she said—       ‘I love thee true’. She took me to her Elfin grot,       And there she wept and sighed full sore, And there I shut her wild wild eyes       With kisses four.

And Benny was smiling. Valentin could not remember the last time he had seen his lips turn with such ease and cheerfulness. No. That wasn’t true. He could remember. He remembered it well. This time, he had not made himself forget. He’d held onto the memory, like a precious gift, and returned to it again and again -- first when it had ached from its bitterness, then when it had ached from the sweetness it could’ve once been, both aches joint from sobering regret.

And there she lullèd me asleep,       And there I dreamed—Ah! woe betide!— The latest dream I ever dreamt       On the cold hill side. I saw pale kings and princes too,       Pale warriors, death-pale were they all; They cried—‘La Belle Dame sans Merci       Thee hath in thrall!’

More than, he remembered that he was the cause for this smile to be a mere memory now. The fact that his presence elicited scowls and stuttering breaths of thoughts being forbidden to sound. The fact that he had planted his own ugly fear into Benny like a foul seed, which had grown into a tremor of frowns well-deserved, rather than a smile blooming in the first rays of a slumberous sun.

I saw their starved lips in the gloam,       With horrid warning gapèd wide, And I awoke and found me here,       On the cold hill’s side. And this is why I sojourn here,       Alone and palely loitering, Though the sedge is withered from the lake,       And no birds sing.

But Benny was smiling, and another laugh followed soon, and Valentin sat on his bench, a thousand and one feet away, and wished that the poems in the book on his lap to be, one day once again, the very source of such a beautiful sight. Alas, for now, he turned back to Florence and gave her a nudge. “Tomorrow’s the day. Ready to discover the meaning of love?” 

#m: benny #m: florence #m: samuel #valentin's pasternosterlift #if you think its absolutely unlikely that benny would go on a promenade with his family and have a good time #then pls pretend its all a dream

[valentin-talbot]

Valentin and Florence searched for costume ideas together, coming quickly to the conclusion that they cannot afford new clothes. So, instead, they searched through the old wardrobes of their aunt, grandmother and great-grandmother, who have lived in Heathcote House for over a century. Knowing they’d not be able to find proper costumes, they hoped for at least something that would fit the theme in colour and style.

In an old trunk in the attic, they found Regency and Victorian era robes, some of which covered in delicate lace leaves and flowers. Especially two caught their eyes, one white suit from the Regency Era, and one green dress from the Victorian Era. Unfortunately the suit was way too tight on Valentin, and the dress way too lose on Florence, and with the Ball already approaching rapidly, they knew they wouldn’t have the time to alter them. Thus, perhaps out of the simple silliness that arises when siblings dig through their family’s past, perhaps thanks to the bottle of wine fully consumed during the process, they decided that Florence would take the suit, and Valentin the dress. 

The maids helped him with the mask, gathering flowers, leaves and twigs from the parks and sewing them together safely. The mask covers his whole face, even parts of his neck and otherwise exposed shoulders. 

The shoes are borrowed from his sister, with the same leaves and flowers adorning them. They are a little small but Valentin jokes that he’s always waited for an opportunity to understand a woman’s suffering. 

If asked what he represents, he will say he’s a tree, or the forest itself. 

#stmdevelopment #valentin's pasternosterlift

[valentin-talbot]

“I really don’t want to appear impolite, but is this really the place for such concrete questions about my private life?”

“Concrete?”

“Yes.”

“I can be even more concrete. Are you gay? Do you have an inferiority complex because you’re so small?” 

#valentin's pasternosterlift #this scene will never not be funny #i mean #jan-ole gester really cast tom schilling and then was like i am going to write a script that is going to be just so mean

[valentin-talbot]

Time: 1st of May, The card arrives with the morning post @soleil-timide​

Dearest Florence,

I know the preparations for London are keeping us both busy. But it has been a week since I last saw you and my heart is scolding me for it. I will come for tea, but don’t worry about cake, I shall bring some myself. 

Have a wonderful, wonderful birthday.

With love, your brother Valentin

#m: florence #valentin's pasternosterlift

[valentin-talbot]

God

Uhhh so I don’t know if you heard, but Valentin is a Priest. 

Possible connections: How to get out of sin 101. How to have the wrath of God instilled in you 202. How to get your evening ruined by the mere presence of an ordained ‘spiritual leader’ 303.

The Plan 

Valentin might be a little bit in love with Benny. Shocking, I know. He’s also, thankfully, aware by now that him keeping his distance from Benny is leading to pain. Shocking! I know! So he’s currently trying to figure out what to do. Running for president is not an option, he’s realised, but apologising for his behaviour could be productive. 

Possible connections: Someone reminding him that the death of his ex boyfriend beau wasn’t actually his fault. Someone landing a prejudice-free hand to craft a plan in how to apologise. Someone actually telling Benny about Valentin’s ex beau to set things in motion. Someone accidentally telling Benny something a bit wrong about Valentin causing Benny to run away from London back to St Maur.

Talbot Scandal

The Talbots are still snubbed by half of London Society. 

Possible connections: Be someone who snubs Valentin in public. Be someone who sees the snubbing in public and comes to help.

Love

Man (26, ca. 150lbs) from good breeding looking for young woman (18-26) from good breeding and even gooder money. Hobbies include: talking about philosophy and art, especially choir music. Comes with a package deal of: C-PTSD, the physical constitution of a baby rabbit and the moral backbone of a chocolate eclair.

Possible connections: Fuck around and find out?

#valentin's pasternosterlift

[valentin-talbot]

#valentin's pasternosterlift

[valentin-talbot]

#valentin's pasternosterlift #i dont know what this image means but i feel it

[valentin-talbot]

"Gosh, I’m really bad at this, aren’t I?”

“...”

“Thank you. What’s the next part about? Oh. That-... I won’t blubber about this, I promise.”

PART 6: LIKES & DISLIKES

What is/are your favorite hobbies and pastimes?

“Oh! I love to sing! I-, I’m not good at it! But I used to be in the Church choir when I was little and, well, now it’s disbanded for the time being. But I hope to bring it back. I’ve only studied a tiny little bit of music, but I think it could be good! And if all the old members come back, maybe even Zachariah, I’m sure I won’t have to do too much work either. They’re all brilliant.”

What is your most treasured possession?

“You know that officially I don’t think I’m supposed to have one?” A pause. “Apart ... maybe? From the Holy Bible?” He wasn’t sure, actually. Weren’t the words of the Scripture supposed to be in him by now or something? Either way. “I like things that keep me warm. Tea cups I was gifted for my move in, blankets my mother made, um, my hot water bottle. Oh you’ve never had one? They’re great. They’re made of tin, I believe. Basically the same flasks the military uses, but a bit larger, and then you wrap it in a pillow case and it’s just great.”

What is your favorite color?

"That depends on the day. I know, terribly boring answer, but it’s true! Today I love blue. Ocean blue, on a stormy day. So a bit greyish, a bit angry, a bit chaotic. Sometimes I love the outer edge of a flame, you know that very dark orange? I also love the white of early Spring flowers, or apple blossoms. And just the other day I thought, my,” He closed his eyes, “what beauty can be found in honest brown eyes.”

What is your favorite food?

“Oh, that’s hard,” he chuckled, opening his eyes again almost as to avoid all the images of food flooding in. “I mean, there’s hardly anything I won’t eat; I’m a good dinner guest. But-... You see, I’m not a hedonist. I don’t value temporary joys like some do. A good dinner is a-, a marvellous feat, and I applaud any chef who learnt to make food like it’s art, but-...” He hummed. “I love a good rice pudding, if that counts? A good apple? Broth? Broth is good.”

What, if anything, do you like to read?

“At the moment I sadly don’t find too much time to read anymore. And even before that, I mostly read what my professors or Lady Dinah told me to read. I think, if I were to bring one author on a long voyage to read over and over again, it would be something by Victor Hugo.”

What is your idea of good entertainment (consider music, movies, art, etc.)?

“Well, music, definitely. Choir. Symphonies. Not so much those modern airs, I fear, but that’s just because I don’t understand it. I’m open to learning, though. I also enjoy a good book, naturally. I’m not the most enthusiastic about the moving pictures, but I’m don’t think they’re quite as banal as people make them out to be. The theatre can be great, and so can opera, but I find it exhausting to go see a play only to have someone talk through it the entire time. So I prefer books, yes. They’re ... quiet. There’s no one there to pay attention to, or to offend.”

Do you smoke, drink, or use drugs? If so, why? Do you want to quit?

“I smoke, occasionally, when I’m offered, and the same goes for drinking. I believe it’s similar to food, for me. The joy is so ... brief, compared to something which lasts in your memory for decades. Like, I don’t know, a prank or a good hug. So I don’t spend much thought trying to drink or smoke.” 

As for the second half of that question, he knew what that was about. “I don’t ...  believe that to express disapproval over other people’s mistakes, you have to do the exact opposite as they did.” He thought of his old professor at Oxford, who, after he’d witnessed to male students kiss had angrily invited his wife to dinner to show Valentin and his course mates how great his marriage was...

extra: 

How do you spend a typical Saturday night?

“Working,” he sighed. “Late into the night.”

What makes you laugh?

“A lot of things, I fear. I don’t mock people though, I don’t laugh at their embarrassments, and I’ve never found it funny when others stumbled or fell out of trees. I just mean-... Well, I mean! People are marvellous, aren’t they? It’s rare that you meet someone who doesn’t have a little sun within him that just waits to burst and shine.”

What, if anything, shocks or offends you?

“I’ve recently learnt I can grow quite offended over people misappropriating the Lord’s name? And I don’t mean accidentally saying ‘Oh God,’ or something. I mean, behaving ... terribly. Selfishly. Full of hate and bigotry! And then saying God would’ve wanted it so. It-, it upsets me, yes.”

What would you do if you had insomnia and had to find something to do to amuse yourself?

“Insomnia means ... not being able to sleep? Because recently I wish I wasn’t so ready to sleep all the time. I’d love to wake up by myself and have more time in the day. I’d go back to work, of course.” Though perhaps he wasn’t actually correct about what this insomnia meant.

How do you deal with stress?

“The question is, if I do at all.”

Are you spontaneous, or do you always need to have a plan?

At this, he paused and hummed, planning out his answer. “Spontaneous.” 

What are your pet peeves?

“When others purposefully try to misunderstand me. Or others. Strawman arguments.” He paused, hesitated, then leaned in a little closer: “I also really don’t like how thin the paper of new bible editions is becoming recently,” he whispered. “I mean, that’s just asking for paper cuts, right? Next thing you know, you won’t recognise Christians by a cross around their neck anymore, but by the wounds on their fingers!”

#pasternosterlift #first half: deep and pensive #second half: so paperscute AMIRITE?

[valentin-talbot]

“Sandwiches?”

"That depends, how much longer?”

“Three more parts.”

“Cucumber?”

“Yes. Here.”

“Thank you.”

PART 5: RELATIONSHIPS W/OTHERS

In general, how do you treat others (politely, rudely, by keeping them at a distance, etc.)? Does your treatment of them change depending on how well you know them, and if so, how?

“I treat them quite how I’d like to be treated. With respect, which includes honesty, even if that honesty isn’t nice. The way I treat them also begins with how I make sure to view them, which is also with respect. I don’t like to think of people badly, think of them as below me, or consider their occasional mistakes greater landmarks of their character. We were all put on this earth by God, and so we all have the inherent ability to be good. I want to believe that as long as one gives others the chance to be good, they will be, eventually.

As for whether I treat them differently when I know them better -- no. I’m just as honest as before, which merely means that I might appear different, but that’s only due to my feelings for them changing.”

Who is the most important person in your life, and why?

“Florence. She taught me that power is not held only by fists and gunpowder.”

Who is the person you respect the most, and why?

“Again, Florence, but I greatly respect many people, for many different reasons. For example, I always respected the late Viscount for his natural confidence and ability to reach out to others without fear or hesitation. I respect my mother for having tried to protect us, again and again, and Mrs Hudson too, for the same reason. I respect-...” He laughed. “I respected my old school teacher, who somehow survived teaching fifty students every day without once ever collapsing from frustration!” He thought. Yes, there was something worth respecting in every person he knew. He just wasn’t so sure if there was anything in him...

Who are your friends? Do you have a best friend? Describe these people.

“Ever since I came back to St Maur my best friend has been Lady Dinah, and by extent her bosom friend Miss Leah Forester. I’ve spoken about Lady Dinah before, but she’s quite a marvel of nature. Full of romance wherever she goes, there’s nothing she sees that hasn’t or couldn’t come up in a novel of hers. It’s silly. In her company, it’s easy to forget that life doesn’t follow any narrative structure. I need that sometimes. Miss Leah Forester, well. She’s ... there.” He bit his lip, very aware how terrible that sounded but also very aware that he had nothing else to add, and so he quickly moved on to the next best thing on his mind: “Benny! There’s also, erm, Mister Ebenezer Forester.” Yes. Right? “I mean, I don’t know if he’d like it if I called him my friend yet, after all, I’m as close to him as I am to his brother currently and. Well. Zacharia’s definitely not my friend.” He could only picture poor Zachariah doubting his sanity if Valentin were to claim such a thing. “Maybe we’ll be again, at some point. Benny’s a bit like a waterfall, you know.” He nodded, solemnly, because to him that made sense.

Do you have a spouse or significant other? If so, describe this person.

“Not yet, no. I believe I’m a little too young for that anyway. I’m quite looking forward to it, though.” 

Have you ever been in love? If so, describe what happened.

“I have been, yes. One time, I suppose, would be the appropriate answer, but if I think back on my life, it might’ve been more than that. Unbeknownst to me at the time. I only realised later when-... So, it was at Oxford. A friend had invited me to this party so I went, fully prepared to leave again in an hour. I was introduced to this girl, and we started talking. I couldn’t tell you what we were talking about, it was nothing, I don’t know, world-changing. Nothing extraordinary. It was just comfortable small talk, and eventually, I said, well, I better be going now, and wished her a good party. But when I looked up, I realised almost everyone was already gone. We hadn’t talked for just an hour, but at least four, perhaps five, and it was long past midnight.” He smiled, softly. “It happened again, after that, whenever we met, and I realised, well, if someone manages to bend time, to-, to help disappear everything around you, even yourself, who manages to make you be nothing but yourself, no decorum, no title, no duties, then-... Then that must be love, no?”

He sat silent for a while, then shrugged and reached for his tea. “She’s married to the Duke of Norfolk now.”

What do you look for in a potential lover?

“The same thing I’d look for in a potential wife, no?” His voice a little sharper than usually.

How close are you to your family?

It softened now. “Rather close, I believe. I’m very close to my sisters, especially the younger, and I spend a lot of free time with my mother. My brother and my father, well, the physical space between us made any closeness difficult. But we’re not estranged whatsoever.”

Have you started your own family? If so, describe them. If not, do you want to? Why or why not?

“I am not yet married, not since the last time you asked.”

Who would you turn to if you were in desperate need of help? / Do you trust anyone to protect you? Who, and why?

“It depends which kind of help and what type of protection. I believe, for a long time in my life, I would’ve turned to Alastair. He protected me from our-... from all sorts of things, when we were young. Now I’m not so sure anymore.” He needed different help these days, a different type of protection. The type which no one could give him but he himself.

If you died or went missing, who would miss you?

“Oh gosh,” he blinked. “I-... I sure hope at least some of the people I previously mentioned would!” They would, wouldn’t they? Yes. Right? No, definitely, they would! Surely...

Who is the person you despise the most, and why?

“Can we not, please? If I say such things out loud, then a part of me will believe it’s an eternal truth. But it’s not. Everyone can change.”

Do you tend to argue with people, or avoid conflict?

“I used to avoid conflict as best as I could. Not anymore. But I also don’t enjoy arguing. I strongly believe that at the end of the day, we all share common hopes and wishes, so there’s no reason to fight. Only to talk until the common denominator as been found.”

Do you tend to take on leadership roles in social situations?

How ironic. “My instinct is to tell you: No. I’m not the one who drives the party, who enthuses everyone to go get another drink, that’s not me, no. My new job however demands this of me, in some extent. I’m still learning. Still growing into this leadership role.”

Do you like interacting with large groups of people? Why or why not?

“In fact, I find it less stressful than interacting with just one person, sometimes.”

Do you care what others think of you?

He hummed. “Yes. But that doesn’t mean I get upset by what they believe. Not at everyone, and not about anything. If Mrs Lancashure thinks I am a miserable cook, I don’t care. If Mrs Young thinks my sermons are too short, I don’t care. Lady Margaret thinks I’m but a worm in the dirt her expensive heels press down on, then I don’t care. Partly because none of these concern themselves with who I really am, or what I want to do. Now, for example, if my brother thinks me meek and useless who could never contribute anything worthwhile to his life, well, you can imagine I might feel a little hurt. If my sister thought I was cruel because I snubbed someone out of their luck to gain something only for myself, I’d feel hurt. If-, If Lady Dinah thought I didn’t love her anymore, I’d feel hurt. If Benny thought I prioritised social etiquette over his happiness, I’d feel hurt. But that’s because I-... Well, I suppose, I want to be loved.”

#pasternosterlift

[valentin-talbot]

“I’m sorry.”

“No, it’s fine.”

“Shall we continue?”

“Of course. Of course, yes. Please.”

PART 4: BELIEFS & OPINIONS

Are you basically optimistic or pessimistic?

“Optimistic, I believe.”

What is your greatest fear?

“I assume you mean this in a broader sense, yes?” He thought. “Being powerless, perhaps. Becoming ... so quiet, you unlearn to be heard by others.”

What are your religious views?

Valentin looked at the interviewer, plainly. “Hinduism's always fascinated me.”

What are your political views?

“I’m sorry, I mustn’t say. As a member of the clergy I must keep out of politics, I fear. But I believe that if the word of God is translated correctly into modern social questions, there’s only one political affiliation that makes much sense to agree with.”

What are your views on sex?

“Oh! Well... It’s the creation of life, isn’t it?”

Are you able to kill? Under what circumstances do you find killing to be acceptable or unacceptable?

“I believe I already mentioned it, but there was a time when I’d go Hunting with the others. Birds as well as deers and the like. I can’t anymore. Or at least I truly struggle with it.” He pause, then something had him sit upright suddenly. “I sure  hope you didn’t mean killing humans!”

In your opinion, what is the most evil thing any human being could do?

“Killing humans, for example?” He was still a little flushed. “Erm, well. Apart from that, but very similarly, anything that kills God in people’s hearts. That kills their will to live.” He’d seen it happen many times before. It was almost as bad as the killing of a body.

Do you believe in the existence of soul mates and/or true love?

“I ... believe all love is true love. And I believe we are the makers of our own souls, which means we’re also the makers of our own soul mates.”

What are your views on God and religion?

“I believe it’s misunderstood, a lot. I can tell you what isn’t my views? Yes? All right. So. I don’t believe God and religion are linked. I don’t believe one God is greater than another. l don’t believe the bible must be read to understand God, but I also don’t believe that church and rituals needs to be attended to be connected to him. I don’t believe in the Pope. I don’t believe I speak for God better than any other person who genuinely loves him. I don’t believe God concerns itself with the materialist pragmatism of our world, with criminals, with prostitutes, with un-baptised bastards or a child sneaking a biscuit from the kitchen to his room. That’s because I don’t believe God has morals. We are made in his image, not he in ours. And this image is the ability to create. All things we created? Laws and rules and opinions? They’ve come from us, not from God. God merely gave us the ability to choose which laws and rules and opinions we want to create, to follow, to believe in.”

What do you believe makes a successful life?

“Living in a way that you know why you were living it.”

How honest are you about your thoughts and feelings (i.e. do you hide your true self from others, and in what way)?

“I believe I’m quite honest. But that’s perhaps because I’m an extraordinarily boring person who doesn’t have a lot to hide. If I hold back sometimes, it’s merely due to a wrong situation. In fact, I fear this might be one of my greatest weaknesses; wearing my heart on my sleeve at all times.”

Do you have any biases or prejudices?

“If they’re real biases and prejudices, I wouldn’t be aware of them, would I? I’d just consider them truths.”

Is there anything you absolutely refuse to do under any circumstances? Why do you refuse to do it?

“Apart from the aforementioned killing-humans thing? And harming others and all that? Something that just concerns myself?” He thought. “I might ... truly ... hesitate to betray God.” His fingers touched the soft fabric of his clerics. “I gave him my word, I promised loyalty.” There was no sadness in his voice as he said this; he was smiling.

Who or what, if anything, would you die for (or otherwise go to extremes for)?

“My sisters? My mother? My brother, my friends, my faith, my parishioners? Even Mrs Lancashure and Osiris. Any person I had a lovely conversation with at Oxford, every passer by in St Maur. I-... I’d rather or go to extremes, than reject a stranger’s plea.”

What do you believe happens after death?

“You really aren’t well acquainted with Christianity, are you?”

#pasternosterlift

[valentin-talbot]

#pasternosterlift #'thats my little brother friedhelm. he doesnt want to go to war. he wants to be a poet' #great show 10/10 let him have a dad who loves him!!

[valentin-talbot]

“Welcome. Please, take a seat, make yourself comfortable. Tea? Oh, no, don’t worry, this won’t be made public. Why? Do you have something to hide?”

Valentin laughed. “No, you’re right, I don’t.” 

PART 1: THE BASICS

What is your full name?

“Valentin C Talbot. Oh, the C stands for Caspar. I don’t think it suits me particularly well, though, so I try to forget. Ah, and of course, people address me as Father Valentin now. But that’s almost as odd, isn’t it?” He hardly looked like a ‘father’.

Where and when were you born?

“Here? St Maur, I mean. In Norrington Hospital. Twenty-five, not, twenty-six years ago, on the fifth of March. It was quite an easy birth, my mother tells me. Sadly, the nurse who delivered me passed away last year. I considered her something of a godmother, you know?”

Who are/were your parents? (Know their names, occupations, personalities, etc.)

“Well. Are, is the appropriate tense, and I suppose we are fortunate, aren’t we? My father is the sixth Baron of Talbot, my mother is of baronet blood as well. She was nowhere near the title, however, if I remember correctly, but she had money. It was the opposite for my father. I-... I don’t think they married out of love.” In a way, he wasn’t sure they knew what love was.

Do you have any siblings? What are/were they like?

“I do! And if I may say so, they’re wonderful siblings to have. My youngest sister is a lovely and loving person, a true shelter one can return to whenever life wears you out like bad weather. She always makes me smile. My other sister is a little sharper, in her words and demeanour, but she’s also quite sharp in the head, mind you. And she might not want anyone to know, but she has a good heart, she does.” He thought about them for a moment, feeling so full of love. Then, still smiling, he went on. “And then there’s Alastair. My older brother. He’s-...” He was a lot of things. Traumatised. Harsh. Unbending. “He’s admirable. He’s always protected me from-... Well, anything a younger brother might need protecting from.”

Where do you live now, and with whom? Describe the place and the person/people.

“I live in the Parish, the little cottage adjacent to Saint Mary’s church. I’m sure you must’ve seen it. It’s surrounded by pines and it’s really quite quaint. It’s ... a little less quaint from the inside. Chaotic, I mean. You see, the previous priest, Father Lancashure, lived there with his wife for more than forty years. It looks like it, without implying judgement. It’s just very lived in. I’m not certain it’s uncommon or improper, but after his death, I offered Mrs Lancashure to stay there with me. So with her, the rest of her old life stayed as well.” And her wretched cat. “It’s really not too bad. No, really. I prefer it over complete emptiness. I just think-... Well, if it’s not unkind of me to say, I suppose it’s difficult to become when you’re constantly confined to the mould made by those before you.”

What is your occupation?

Valentin blinked. Was that not obvious? His fingers checked his collar. No, yes, it was still there. “Priest.” Yes. That.

Write a bit about your physical appearance. You might want to consider factors such as: height, weight, race, hair and eye color, style of dress, and any tattoos, scars, or distinguishing marks.

“That’s-... A lot to consider. I’m ... not sure about my weight but-...” He had heard the word ‘gaunt’ been thrown around a couple of times. “Well. One meter seventy, is my height, I have white skin, black hair and blue eyes.” A type of blue eyes the Talbots were famous for. All the paintings in Tynthesfield stared back with the same ones. “I suppose I dress simply. Especially now, of course, but I was never, erm, en vogue. I do enjoy fashion, I enjoy watching people enjoy it, but I suppose I don’t particularly care to see myself in it. Otherwise-... Nothing distinguishing about myself.” Not even scars. All wounds he’d ever worn had faded with time. Strangely meaningful, in it’s own way.

To which social class do you belong?

“Baronet. I suppose that’s Upper Middle Class, or Upper Class, depending on your definition. Though of course, with our recent fate, it’s quite empty to say so, isn’t it?”

Do you have any allergies, diseases, or other physical weaknesses?

“One might think so, wouldn’t you? But no, I’m quite healthy, have always been. I wouldn’t say I've got any particular physical strength, but I believe I have the disposition for it. I just never saw a reason to be physically strong. There’s other strengths I’d say I favour to explore, expand and express.”

Are you right- or left-handed?

“Right, of course.”

What does your voice sound like?

“Rather too high, rather too soft. It serves well for telling stories, though, I believe. Sometimes, when I tell them, I even forget my voice. I like that.”

What words and/or phrases do you use very frequently?

“I suppose-...” Well, ‘I suppose’ was one of them. He chuckled. “I don’t wish to impose on people. There’s so much I can’t know about them, so to give my opinion, to give my advice, I’d not feel comfortable to do so without words to soften it. Soften myself. So such ones, I suppose, I use a lot.”

What do you have in your pockets?

“Oh.” He checked. “A ... handkerchief in my chest pocket. Here’s my keys -- to the Parish, the church and certain locks inside --, my wallet, a tinbox of aniseed dragées, a-... What’s that? Oh!” He laughed. “A string for Osiris.” He showed them, then put them away again. It was only then that he remembered. “And a bible, of course!” His hand moved to his chest. “On the inside of my cloak. I-, I couldn’t forget about that, could I?”

Do you have any quirks, strange mannerisms, annoying habits, or other defining characteristics?

“I ... hope not.”

#pasternosterlift #dabs sadly #now you all know why ilya does the graphics #BUT YAY #LETS ALL COPY C #0 original thought #stmdevelopment

[valentin-talbot]

#pasternosterlift #if you know this scene you know #'how did you know she was there?' #'your breathing stopped' #(arrow to heart emoji)

[valentin-talbot]

[Don’t take it too far.] “I’ve not started yet. I don’t know what direction I should take.” [Don’t take it too far.] “But! What does ‘far’ mean?! Everything can be taken too far! Every option has an undesirable outcome, a potential to do great but also a potential to go awry. All paths are sunny until one walks too far into the storm!” [Valentin.] The touch felt like the first Spring sun.  “No shelter is safer for you than the one built by your own hands.”

After Valentin told Mrs Forester that he was willing to hold the Bazaar in Saint Mary’s, she nodded. She’d ask her husband about Fairford, which could house as many tables as Saint Mary’s -- which was to say, as few. “Perhaps we can split it up? Half of the Bazaar in Saint Mary’s, the other at Fairford? Give the High Society of London a reason to walk arou-...” They wouldn’t be able to walk around St Maur Town to appreciate its beauty. Not in a bloody storm. “Mrs Forester?” ‘Yes?’ He asked very carefully: “Does Fairford House even have enough rooms to house so many Lord and Ladies?” Her silence was loud. Neither did Saint Mary’s. 

Valentin redirected his gaze to the Spring sun.  “Please,” he thought. “Anything but Tynthesfield.”

#stmbazaar #pasternosterlift #vote cast for saint marys but also not really

[valentin-talbot]

“This is the last part.”

“Lovely.”

“We hope it didn’t take too long...”

“Oh, no, no, no, don’t you worry. The tea was delicious. On the contrary, I fear I could’ve replied with less words. I hope I didn’t hold you up with all my babbling.”

PART 7: SELF IMAGES & OTHER

Describe the routine of a normal day for you. How do you feel when this routine is disrupted?

“I wake early, with the first chimes of Saint Mary’s, so 8 o’clock. The Parish opens for inquiries at 8 o’clock, so I must be up and ready before that.I wash, I get dressed, I feed Osiris and go to open Saint Mary’s. I pray. When I return, I find Mrs Lancashure at breakfast. As most people, I read the news and my letters while I have my tea. There’s usually some people who visit before lunch and I try to help them as best as I can. I also respond to my correspondences and work on my duties, like figuring out charities, money, and of course, the sermons. Though, you know, they take up quite a small portion of my day, you’d be surprised. Well, after lunch, I put on my clerics and I make my way for Saint Mary’s again. It’s not far but you’d be surprised how long it takes me to get through the people stopping me to talk.” A chuckle. “It’s usually afternoon by the time I arrive, and there’s always one or two parishioners waiting for some guidance. So we do that. The afternoons are a bit more relaxed. Sometimes we have visitors from out of town, sometimes there’s a Lighthouse Society meeting, some days there’s choir practice, some days I teach children. I have dinner at 6 o’clock, and usually I can barely pay attention to it because at 7 o’clock Saint Mary chimes for vespers, and my mind’s busy with studying the sermon. The Parish is open until 8 o’clock, so when I come home I usually just finish work and reply to correspondences again and try to wash and dress for bed as soon as I can. Terribly boring, isn’t it?” But more than that... As he said all this, and the ever-same words fell, over and over again, Parish, Parish, Parish, Saint Mary’s, Saint Mary’s, Saint Mary’s, he realised how small his world had really become. And this was it, wasn’t it? It would never broaden again...

What is your greatest strength as a person?

His mouth opened, closed again. In the end he just shrugged.

What is your greatest weakness?

“That I’m at all weak”

If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

Valentin had read and analysed enough of stories to know that there was a difference between what the protagonist wanted and what he needed. What he wanted was simple: “I’d be braver. I’d be able to protect others.” But he knew that this would make him Alastair. And he knew that wasn’t what he needed.

Are you generally introverted or extroverted?

“Introverted means one recharged when alone, extroverted means one recharges among others, yes? I suppose I’m an extrovert. I do appreciate my moments of silence and solitude, but in the end I’m happiest when my friends are around.”

Are you generally organized or messy?

“Organised. Or I try to be, anyway. I don’t mind mess, it’s not making me anxious like others, but I fear I’m not enough of a genius to live in sheer chaos. I need my system and routine to feel like I’m doing everything right. Which, I suppose, answers your first question. I’m fine when people interrupt my organisation or routine. Life’s full of chaos and so chaos makes me feel alive. But that’s because it’s chaos within my structures. I know what’s being pushed aside in favour of fun, I know which part of my day was messed with, I know how to catch up at the end of the day or tomorrow.”

Name three things you consider yourself to be very good at, and three things you consider yourself to be very bad at.

“Oh.” He thought about it. For a long time. “I’m not too bad at creating from nothing. I’m not bad at recognising patterns and making sense of chaos. And I’m good at-... Good at forgiving.” The rest of the answers came more easily. “I’m terrible at being that one person of a party who starts walking and everyone just starts following. I’m so bad at saying dirty words, or, rather, adult words.” He laughed. “And I’m truly, very bad at not wanting what I’m not supposed to want.” Like touch. Not the sexual kind. Just touch. Holding hands. A head resting on someone’s shoulder. An embrace. None of it proper unless it was with a sibling or a spouse, and even then, never in public! And wasn’t that the worst crime of polite society? Leaving Valentin with frozen fingertips and feet running into the wrong direction.  

Do you like yourself?

“Is that of importance?” Genuine confusion.

What goal do you most want to accomplish in your lifetime?

“Getting through it without displeasing the Lord?” What a terrible answer.

Where do you see yourself in 5 years?

Ah. He thought of the first question of this part. “Here. I suppose.” Forever, here.

If you could choose, how would you want to die?

Not in here, that’s for certain. “Don’t laugh, but I thought about this a lot. And I think-, I think I’d like to die on a Summer meadow, one full of wild flowers, and by my side there’s someone and their hand’s in mine and-, and there’s nothing left to say, nothing left to do but to watch the clouds above pass.”

If you knew you were going to die in 24 hours, name three things you would do in the time you had left.

It was funny, wasn’t it? How quickly thoughts so full of hatred could arise. He shook his head, almost as if hoping to rid himself of them like that. Unfortunately, what remained wasn’t much more suited for this interview. I’d go back to Oxford and finally... Was this how life was? A series of events you never dared to do? “I suppose I would write letters and ask for forgiveness.”

What is the one thing for which you would most like to be remembered after your death?

“My stories. And that I loved. That I truly, genuinely loved.”

What three words best describe your personality?

“Quiet. Soft. Unfinished.”

What three words would others probably use to describe you?

“The same, but with a ‘too’ in front of each word.”

With that, his voice died indeed.

#pasternosterlift #stmdevelopment

[valentin-talbot]

“Here.”

“Thank you.”

“Sugar? Milk?”

“Milk, thank you.”

PART 3: PAST INFLUENCES

What do you consider the most important event of your life so far?

“The day I put on his collar for the first time, I believe. Or perhaps the first time I held a sermon. One of the two. You see, before that, I had mainly chosen this path because it’s appropriate for my class, and because I believed I had an affinity for it, at least more than others and more than I had affinities for other things. But the first time I spoke, looking like this, the first time someone greeted me as Father,” as foreign as this still was, “I realised I held ... power. Not-, Not tyrannical power, no power that could harm, but power that can help. And as I looked around when I spoke my first sermon, and saw the smiles on the congregation’s face, I realised this was my way of improving lives. Not-, Not in a grand way, not in a material way. Just in that small way that-, that brings a peace of mind, I suppose. A peace of heart, perhaps.”

Who has had the most influence on you?

“Plenty of people had an influence on me, it would be nearly impossible to choose just one. Negative, as well as positive. What I can tell you, however, is that it certainly wasn’t anyone who had worn this collar before me.”

What do you consider your greatest achievement?

Graduating, lay on his tongue. But he had never struggled with school, and when he had graduated, it had felt like any other day, another step on a long journey he had to take. No, an achievement was something you thought you’d never manage, that, at some point in your life, had seemed daunting. He took a breath. “Forgiving those who hurt me.”

What is your greatest regret?

“When we were young, it was expected of us to join on Hunting Days. I thought it was normal, though I never felt quite at ease. One day I shot a pheasant, and I was terribly proud of it. When we returned to the tent for our lunch, they served pheasants already prepared, and then later for dinner, they served beef. I waited for the next lunch, the next dinner, but we were never served the pheasants we had shot. Only later I learnt that nothing we shot was actually eaten by us, that it was sold in the village, and most of it rot away. I never went on Hunting Days again, after that. You see, God put all creatures on earth to help and nourish each other, and I think it would be an insult to negate our nature to not eat what he provides for us. But to kill them for fun, kill them with such disrespect, to kill them not to nourish us but to let them waste away, as their lives weren’t as holy as we are ourselves?” He shook his head. “What I regret most, I suppose, is having felt proud over my shot.”

What is the most evil thing you have ever done?

“What’s your definition of evil, may I ask? For I doubt anyone you’re interviewing here today should or could answer this without misunderstanding the question entirely.”

Do you have a criminal record of any kind?

He laughed. “No.” Though there used to be this friend...

When was the time you were the most frightened?

The laugh disappeared from his face. “Aren’t we all frightened a lot as a child? Over ... silly things, we can’t control. But upon growing up we realise we were but fools?”

What is the most embarrassing thing that ever to happen to you?

“Except all the times Mrs Lancashure walked into my room without knocking?” He gave it a tortured smile. “I can’t count it, really. One time I put my clerics on the wrong way around. One time I walked into the wrong lecture and everybody stared at me. One time I called a friend of mine ‘Mother’. He’s a ... he. Just the other day I stepped into a puddle and had to greet a friend at the door with my shoes off? No, really, I don’t think a day passes where I don’t embarrass myself.”

If you could change one thing from your past, what would it be, and why?

Perhaps he would’ve been the one to step up and help Alastair for a change. Perhaps he could’ve prevented him from becoming so ... dangerous. “I don’t think it’s healthy to linger in the past.”

What is your best memory?

“Christmas Morning when I was, I think, nine or ten. We had been staying at St Maur Castle and it was Lady Dinah who woke me so we could sneak down and  get our presents. We made a terrible noise, playing with what we’d been gifted, but when her parents found us, they didn’t yell or reprimand us. They just came on the ground with us and played along. Yes, that made me very happy.”

What is your worst memory?

The smile dimmed. “I-... I suppose that one time I ... fell. Down the stairs. It wasn’t very pleasant.”

#pasternosterlift #stmdevelopment