#patroc (phoenix crimes)

[myfriendthedictionary]

@trans-clark

.............

#PATROC I- #YOU??????!? #YOU WHAT?!??!???!!!?!?!?!? #I..... #im Julius Ceaser and patroc is everyone stabbing me except the knives are just whatever new food discourse we’re about to have #*insert the cat being swatted with a newspaper here #first the buttermilk and now this #i love olive oil don’t get me wrong but. SIR. #patroc (phoenix crimes) #paige rambles #paige.txt #food tw #stabbing tw #caps tw #ask to tag

[myfriendthedictionary]

I posted 1,917 times in 2021

1316 posts created (69%)

601 posts reblogged (31%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 0.5 posts.

I added 4,506 tags in 2021

#paige.txt - 1005 posts

#paige answers - 645 posts

#ask to tag - 602 posts

#reblog! - 543 posts

#paige rambles - 384 posts

#we are the tigers - 350 posts

#watt - 349 posts

#caps tw - 220 posts

#mutuals - 214 posts

#patroc (phoenix crimes) - 194 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#i have been informed by said roommate from a different state that it’s not the universal name for the drink. so just in case it’s just like

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

today on i still don’t know how to play this game

421 notes • Posted 2021-05-16 18:29:49 GMT

#4

ghost trick stans make some noise

554 notes • Posted 2021-03-22 17:52:40 GMT

#3

at this point i consume new media exclusively to make memes. anyway hello genshin impact community

2685 notes • Posted 2021-05-11 22:35:42 GMT

#2

okay due to popular demand i may have made another one-

5625 notes • Posted 2021-03-21 03:45:02 GMT

#1

i broke down and made one of these things!! feel free to reblog here or use it somewhere else if you’d like some sent in ^^

14484 notes • Posted 2021-03-18 03:22:57 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

#HELPPPP @ patroc if ur still here look bestie u made the tags #its all our phoenix crime i think ajsdjalsd #anyway super funny #thank u to all u guys for this year!!! #your tumblr year in review #my 2021 tumblr year in review #long post

[myfriendthedictionary]

@trans-clark i didnt want to reblog the post since it was long but im losing it at your tags ahskshak stop being funnier than me on my posts /j

#and now IM thinking about that too #Riley is clearly on the side it wouldn’t be a crime #Kate is absolutely the other side that it would be a crime #literally no one else knows what’s happening #Kate probably doesn’t either she just wants to disagree with Riley #anyway those are my thoughts i dont know about anyone else #also ahskdhsks im so sorry for anyone else who saw patrocs tag and was confused #this will probably not help things #paige rambles #paige.txt #patroc (phoenix crimes) #mutuals #arson mention #arson tw #ask to tag

[myfriendthedictionary]

im too lazy to check archives but it feels like it’s been about a month since the phoenix arson conversation and honestly i Miss that joy

#me @ me tonight: girl get ur act together #but anyway that was fun and i had a good time #it probably hasn’t been like exactly a month it just feels like About one u know? #I’d tag you patroc but I feel like you’ll see this ajskdj #patroc (phoenix crimes) #phoenix arson #arson tw #my whole blog should just come with an arson tw #at this point

[myfriendthedictionary]

:0 Paige is writing a musical??? Care to share some deets? -Patroc

Well, first of all, it’s gay and—

(Paige is either writing a musical or she’s been coping with life in the most confusing way possible for the last two years. /lh Hard to say lol! It’s the last one but shhh)

Ahskdshk sure, if you want details. It’s realllly not very good or exciting or anything, it’s just something I work on at times when I’m stressed. It’s called “Nine” and it’s basically about letting go and the progression of time. The main story follows a girl who’s girlfriend ends up being killed. She finds a way (hard to explain as of now) to rewind time over and over again and reliving the day it happens and trying to change it, but she can’t convince the girl not to go to where she ends up passing away no matter how many times she tries it or who she tries to enlist to get her to stay. It’s supposed to be bittersweet and sort of a reflection of the fact that people aren’t in our lives forever and that there are things outside of our control.

Wow it sounds sad there. I mean, it is, but that’s? Sort of the point I guess. Who knows. It will never be anything but I like writing it so I suppose that is what it is haha

#the moral of this story is therapy? expensive #turning trauma into a musical? free! #anyway i don’t remember i think i talked about it once like a year back but it might have been on a dif blog #i do not actually work on it often #mainly because like. man what am I gonna do w a musical? write??? music??? doubt it #anyway sorry to everyone who had to hear about my brain rot musical ahskdh #patroc (phoenix crimes) #paige answers #paige.txt #concept: nine #death tw #murder tw #loss tw #grief tw #unreality tw #ask to tag

[myfriendthedictionary]

Guess who now has 5 music stands... -Patroc (“I swear I’m done” I said... last time...)

.... PATROC—

*adds to list of things i know about your living quarters*

List just looks like:

- B,buttermilk.....,,..,. For drink ing?

- Flour and sugar in the FREEZER... ?!??!??

- it’s??????? All music stands????????!!?????

im kind of imagining u as a sims charcter just surrounded by music stands now. Nothing else. Just the fridge and the music stands.

#realistically im assuming (hoping????) there’s more furniture #but this is what my brain came up with and im sharing it #patroc (phoenix crimes) #paige answers #paige.txt #caps tw #food tw

[myfriendthedictionary]

pov u walk into court and it’s just me and patroc pointing at each other and also everything’s on fire

#ahskdhdk i have homework due in like an hour #but am I doing it? no #anyway its a good thing i illegally hack photoshop (for legal reasons thats a joke) #i could not imagine paying to make exclusively memes #patroc (phoenix crimes) #phoenix arson #fire tw #arson tw

[myfriendthedictionary]

Patroc I feel like I can’t legally reblog the post again with how long it is, but I did want to comment on the fact your fridge really is like 80% milk / dairy products ahskdhsk I respect it very much ngl

#a mood i think but also im still not over the buttermilk #ive been trying to find u someone on ur side all morning #the closest we’ve gotten is teddy and all he was willing to comment #is that hed drink it before he’d drink tomato sauce #(our other topic of the day ahsks—) #every time I reblog a long post i feel guilt ahskdh #buttermilk debate #patroc (phoenix crimes) #patroc (buttermilk connoisseur) #paige rambles #paige.txt #food tw #food mention

[myfriendthedictionary]

Because knives are hotter than women. - Patroc

Well... you do have a.....

...

Hehehe.....

....

point—

#get it? knives? pointy.... yeah. ill see myself out now ahakdshak #personally i don’t think ive ever seen enough knives to say this #i have seen a lot of pretty girls tho... so apparently I need more knives in my life #or any knives at all #patroc (phoenix crimes) #paige answers #paige.txt #knife tw

[myfriendthedictionary]

It’s just so much easier to send you the au ideas than to deal with them myself - Patroc

every time you send me a new idea, it feels like the scene in genesis with eve and the apple

#/j #but ahskdhdk shskdhsk I MEAN- #i enjoy getting them tho so I can’t complain #at this point in my life i hoard aus like a dragon #but it’s like. they’re all very unrequested mainly so I just. whoops #*looks at my evaleigh mermaid au* *looks away* #patroc (phoenix crimes) #paige answers #paige.txt #christianity tw #religion tw

[myfriendthedictionary]

If you could replace one song on the seeds album with a watt song, what would it be? What about the other direction? -Patroc (I have not come up with an answer myself yet but the question popped into my brain)

me, reading this: don’t make a watt seeds au don’t make a watt seeds au dont—

BUT. okay. Okay.

I’m starting with the reverse because it’s easiest. “Analiese’s Ocean” could for sure be a Cairo song imo. It has like very similar premises of a girl who’s finally standing up to someone she loves after they did something bad. Chlo obviously didn’t. Kill two people (t-that I ??? Know of?? Ahskdshk at this point I know so little of the plot that I’m like. Well. Guess I can’t say for sure lol!) but she’s still choosing to let hate guide her and Analiese saying like. I can’t stay with you if you’re going to hurt me and others in this way reminds me a lot of Cairo after Riley’s tied up in the basement. Obviously their relationship has a much happier ending when Chlo learns to change and doesn’t uhhh try to kill someone else. But the lyrics like “I made a choice and I vow to follow through / And Christine that choice is not to follow you”. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. My brain is onto something there I am Sure of it ahskdhsak

I also just think Cairo should have more songs <333 anyway but that’s the one I would switch from Seeds to WATT if I was picking one.

Going the other direction was Harder. But. I think I would probably say. Mattie’s Lament could absolutely be a Button song. Mattie and Button have very similar energy to me so I could definitely see Button singing it! Before the Breakdown could also totally be a Jane and Chlo song with everyone else joining in.

Annnnddd now I want this... Thank you for letting me ramble ahskdshkw I have been thinking about this ask since you sent it and it made me So Happy you don’t even know. *Shoves my two interests at each other and forces my brain to release serotonin*

#I didn’t really replace them. because I could not do that. I just. changed them #in addition to ahskdhsk is what I went with #I did this instead of working on an essay due in an hour whoops #okay but there would be so many funny rewrites to fit #wonderful world of silence could be rewritten for Riley and it would be SO FUNNY #wonderful world of high school cheerleading..... #anyway thank you I would die for you /lh #also i will be back to answer the rest of the asks in a bit !! once I finish the essay I’m free for the night! #patroc (phoenix crimes) #paige answers #paige.txt #murder tw #ask to tag

[myfriendthedictionary]

It’s an acquired taste but it’s good. I used it to make soda bread and had half a container left over and was not about to just dump it. I don’t really make pancakes so I just drank it. Now I drink it on the regular. It’s thicker and does an excellent job of neutralizing spicy foods because I have the lowest heat tolerance you will probably ever find. I have yet to find someone who isn’t my ex-gf’s grandpa who actually drinks buttermilk though. -Patroc

There’s so much here to discus— first I do love that you were like ‘well I’m probably not gonna make pancakes by the time this goes bad’ so you just DRANK IT ahskdhsk I... I have to admire your dedication to the craft (even if I have no idea what the craft is in this case)

I brought this to debate to my discord group and it got derailed very fast talking about whether you should drink tomato sauce but we are all generally on the WHY ARE YOU DRINKING BUTTERMILK side—

I didn’t even know you could until now...

#to be fair im probably lactose intolerant so this seems like hell #but also ahskdhsk im just.... i... #the mental imagery here #it’s both powerful and terrifying as you always seem to be #anyway if anyone else wants to jump in please do #buttermilk debate #patroc (phoenix crimes) #patroc (buttermilk connoisseur) #paige answers #paige.txt #food tw #food mention #caps tw

[myfriendthedictionary]

:0 highlights from the cheese puns? -Patroc

I was SO CLOSE to winning but then my brother won by quoting spy kids 2 because he’s homophobic /j

#this isn’t even our personal server that’s the funniest part #this is an rp that they let me run and i do so by changing every members name to a cheese pub #*pun #which is why im like no I can’t start a new server for here ill just go mad w power #i can’t believe how funny my brother (snake)’s pun was I hate how much funnier he was than me #/j /lh i love him #this all started because himi said cheese to a banana ahskdh #patroc (phoenix crimes) #paige answers #paige.txt #food tw #rat tw #mouse tw #rats tw #ask to tag

[myfriendthedictionary]

Welcome to the “I should work on my wips but also new ideas need to exist” club -Patroc (Mr. I have an unfinished novel, a gay summer camp romcom screenplay, and several stage plays sitting on my typewriter but instead I keep eyeing the time travel possibly watt pirate au I have outlined in my drafts)

MOOD!!!! i just get many ideas and i get so excited about them and then i just. i do not finish them. my brain just thinks like finishing them is sad somehow,,, like when u finish a book series. which is why a little bit of light will probably have like 18391739 chapters because i just. cannot let it end.

*slaps my forehead like a used car salesman* this bad boy can fit so many aus in here. im supposed to be working on my novel (okay well actually im supposed to be studying but. we’re ignoring that ❤️) but my brain keeps going chai coffee shop au and i also really need one where annleigh makes everyone horseback ride.

okay and not exactly on topic, but those all sound so cool?????!!?! i feel like i should be saying like finish what u have because those all sound excellent but WATT TIME TRAVEL (AND MAYBE PIRATES) AU AAAA !! please tell me more about any or all of the above im invested

#okay also is this a real typewriter or a metaphorical typewriter #if it’s a real one im SO JEALOUS YOU HAVE NO IDEA #i want one. so badly. so so badly. #also sorry this is late I got distracted writing ahskdh #paige answers #paige.txt #patroc (phoenix crimes) #mutuals #caps tw #ask to tag

[myfriendthedictionary]

I saw your request for hc prompts to avoid your Descartes work and my first thought was watt kids opinions on Cartesian Dualsism. -Patroc

oh you think I won’t?? you test me sir?? i will do this. what else am i going to do with my vast knowledge of watt and philosophy

Obviously Annleigh is a dualist. This really goes without saying. There’s no way this girl doesn’t quote the bible during mind and body theory debates.

Clark is probably also a dualist, but like. He’s more open to hearing about other views. He’s just there trying to stop Annleigh and Kate from killing each other every debate period.

Kate doesn’t know what to think specifically, but she is going to contradict whatever Annleigh thinks at literally any point in time. So if Annleigh thinks there’s a seperate and distinct soul, Kate will die on the hill that there are not just because she can.

Cairo could literally not care less. She is not interested. I do not blame her, and she’s also the only one I respect probably.

Mattie and Reese are probably also dualists, if only because like. It’s a generally more optimistic outlook on life. I assume they just kinda say yeah people probably have souls and move on, you know? Why think too hard about it.

Riley has read every book there is about this topic and still cannot make up her mind on where she is. I’m gonna say she probably leans away from substance dualism, but I could not tell you why I think that.

I think Eva is not a dualist but would respect people’s belief in it. She just isn’t putting up a fight, you know? She will probably step in to stop Kate from killing Annleigh—

Chess doesn’t know where she stands either, and the concept of the whole thing freaks her out. She doesn’t really like to think about big, philosophical questions and I cannot say I blame her. She likes to think about things that can be solved, and questions with no actual answer make her really stressed out.

There’s literally no way Farrah read whatever book they were assigned to discuss this. She probably also skipped the class.

#HALSDHSOSHDLSU there was no way i wasnt doing this #anyway i hate you /j /lh but this made me laugh a lot #there’s no way riley didnt call cai at 2 am freaking out over this #to which cairo was like. i do not know what u want me to do #i am not tagging them in this lmao I can’t do this #patroc (phoenix crimes) #paige answers #paige.txt #chess watt #unreality tw #dereality tw #death tw #school tw #ask to tag #genuinely idk how to tag this lmao

[myfriendthedictionary]

made the mistake of checking tumblr in class and now im trying not to die laughing about a bus meme on zoom akjskdjsda alison and patroc im losing it

#i will reblog with more memes as soon as i get on break #im losing it tho rip to my breakout room #in love with us not trusting buses akdkjas #patroc (phoenix crimes) #alison (anti-bus buddy!) #mutuals #asdjkskj im sorry im so bad at tags aaaa ill think of a funnier one #paige rambles #paige.txt