big advocate for vampire vintagebeef because i just think it would be very fucking funny if he was bitten by a bat or something and just never realized he was turned into a vampire. he wonders why he gets sunburnt so easily and then spends a whole season in the middle of buttfuck nowhere with the sun beating on his back every single day. he thinks his “very sharp canines” is just a normal thing in his genetic code that came with puberty. he eats raw meat and when questioned he’s like “don’t bully me i like my steak rare :(“ and then pause is like my guy that’s not rare steak that shit’s legendary