(Since Tumblr glitched out and deleted my old blog as I was deleting old side blogs, I decided to remake some of my old radfem posts)
I’m going to preface this by saying I worked as a professional dog/animal trainer and handler for 7 years. After becoming a radical feminist, I began noticing a lot of similarities between concepts and methods of animal training and how femininity is reenforced in society. Before I get in to what I’ve observed, I’m going to briefly cover 3 types of conditioning; classical, operant, and physical.
Most everyone knows the basics of classical conditioning, as it was made famous by pavlov and his dogs. A neutral stimulus (the bell) was added to a situation (mealtime) in which the subject (dogs) already had a response (slobber). Over time the situation (mealtime) was removed and we’re left with a natural response (slobber) to the previously neutral stimuli (bell).
Operant conditioning is what is most commonly used in animal training. This is your standard reward/punishment based training, eg: command (sit!) *ass hits the ground* reward (good boy! / *treat*). I’m not going to get into Skinner’s model because in order to get the concept of operant conditioning for this post, all you need to know is that the subject is actively being rewarded or punished based on their action.
A good way to remember the difference between classical and operant conditioning is that in the case of classical conditioning the subject doesn’t know it’s learning, whereas in operant condition the subject is aware that it is learning or being trained.
Physical conditioning is a different ball of wax and usually in animal training it’s exactly what you’d think it is; getting the animal physically fit enough to be healthy and perform the tasks you ask of them. A good example of this is making sure a search and rescue dog is physically able to safely climb rocky mountain slopes, spend extended time in cold weather, or jump from a hovering helicopter into a body of water. These are all examples of positive physical conditioning, but the concept of physical conditioning can be used for very negative things as well. An example of this would be keeping a large animal under-muscled to make them easier to handle.
So what do these have to do with femininity? Lets go through one at a time.
Everyone has those mornings where they know they have things to do around the house, but they just don’t want to get out of bed. There are a few ways to get yourself going on mornings like this; some people put on a pot of coffee, listen to music, or do some yoga. I, like many other women, have another method of making myself feel in a more productive mood: I put on a bra.
Like most women I started wearing a bra in my tween years, so it’s been *ahem* a very long time since I started wearing them. Like most women, I put on a bra when I get ready to go to work, when I get ready to run errands, meet people, go out for the night, and to go to school. All of these things are associated with productivity. Now, at nearly 27, I’ve been classically conditioned to feel more productive when I wear a bra.
A neutral stimulus (the bra) was added to a situation (leaving the house to do things) in which the subject (me) already had a response (feeling productive). Now the situation (leaving the house to do things) can be completely removed and we’re left with the response (feeling productive) triggered by the previously neutral stimuli (the bra).
And bras aren't the only thing that can be classically conditioned in this way. If you wear makeup whenever you leave the house, you’d probably find it has the same effect.
This is very straight forward when it comes to femininity and starts pretty much from birth. Lets run through a scenario:
It’s this little girl’s first Easter and she’s given a pretty dress
Adorable, no? Everyone at the Easter gathering thinks so, too. Everyone coos over her and tells her how pretty she is, how beautiful her dress is, etc. This is a positive reward for being feminine. Now lets say she gets ahold of some chocolate and of course gets it all over her dress. Everyone says ‘oh no! your pretty dress!’ and scrambles to get the chocolate away from her. This is both positive and negative punishment for not being feminine (positive here meaning the addition of their disparaging voices, negative here meaning the subtraction of something she likes; the chocolate). This type of scenario plays out year after year in all sorts of circumstances and the little girls are trained to be more feminine in order to get positive responses from those around them.
This occurs in adult women, too. We’re constantly praised and given compliments for looking more feminine and ridiculed for being unfeminine. Think of some of the go-to insults directed at women: “ugly” “fat” “hairy” “bad makeup/hair”. The extent of the conditioning isn’t just social: women who are more traditionally feminine tend to be given more opportunities for career advancement and tend to be considered more intelligent by peers.
This is a more extreme form of training femininity, but it does occur.
This is something I’ve personally experienced. From about 15-16 I wore almost nothing but heels. High heeled shoes, wedge sandals, boots with heel, you name it. Then around 17 I noticed that it was actually becoming very uncomfortable for me to wear flat shoes, or even to walk around my home with no shoes on. I’d been physically conditioned to be dependent on high heeled shoes to be physically comfortable when walking.
And as extreme as this may seem, it’s not as uncommon as one might think. Of course, the obvious solution is to ditch the heels and work on repairing the damage done to your body, but for many women the solution is to just continue buying more heels than flat shoes.
Another more extreme example is crash dieting. In this case I’m not even talking about the physical effect of losing weight. I’m talking about how women physically condition themselves to ignore hunger signals, and often to become physically dependent on non-food substances to get them through the day, be it nicotine, diet pills, or caffeine. Too often women who attempt to ditch diet culture and eat more intuitively don’t realize that they can no longer accurately interpret the signals their bodies are trying to give them. My aunt is a good example of this. After decades of crash dieting, when she feels hunger, she craves a cigarette and a diet soda, rather than actual food.
Unlearning all of these is incredibly difficult, as anyone who’s tried to do so (or who has tried to train a dog out of something) knows. But it isn’t impossible and the first step is to identify which of your physical and/or mental responses are a result of this conditioning. Surrounding yourself with women who have either unlearned or avoided this conditioning is wonderfully effective, too. Even if you don’t decide to unlearn the conditioning, being aware of it is always food for thought.
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characters: xiao (ft. zhongli)
summary: every time xiao's cum, you've whispered 'good boy' to him, and now whenever he hears you call him this, he feels as though he might explode, getting hard and needy instantly, ready to cum from your simple words.
warnings: NSFW / MDNI, gn!reader, dom reader, conditioning, anal penetration, handjob, cumming in public.
love note: in case you don't know pavlov's dog experiment thing... basically it's conditioning to behave a certain way from a certain stimulus over time. in this case, conditioning xiao to cum by saying 'good boy.' (however this happens accidentally in the fic!)
When did you start this habit of yours? Whispering those words in his ear as he came. Xiao supposes, thinking back on it, that you've done it from the start. Yes, he remembers clearly the first time you called him that.
Xiao was staring up at you, finding you absolutely ethereal as the moonlight casted you in a beautiful glow, like a celestial being coming down and allowing him a moment of brief peace. Of course, that was for the briefest of moments, because you were eight inches deep in him. Your hand was slick with a mixture of his precum and your spit and wrapped firmly around his small length, giving tight and quick jerks and making him groan softly, his thighs tensing and hips bucking up to meet your hand. Your thrusts were sharp, and your words were downright sinful. Although you looked angelic in that nanosecond of a moment, he knew better than to trust that, and he was not one to get hung up on an image, even if he did make sure to keep his eyes open so he could etch that second of an image into the very core of his brain.
"Xiao," You coo his name, a smirk on your lips. Your smirk made his dick throb, twitching in your hand and leaking even more precum. He tried to focus, licking his lips and narrowing his eyes, and he tried to respond but his throat was dry. "Xiao," You sung his name this time, not caring that you both were on the balcony— it was likely nearby rooms heard his moans and whines anyways.
"Hng- Y... Yes?" His head falls back against the wooden floorboards, his focus shifting from your face to the starry night sky. The stars slowly started to blur, his vision unfocusing all together as he feels himself get closer to his peak. "Y/n, I'm gonna cum- I'm really gonna-"
"Xiao," You voice draws him back in, his amber eyes snapping back to you and he sucks in a harsh breath, wanting to let out a loud cry. You lean in close, his hands growing sweaty, and he can feel your hot breath against his ear, your hair tickling against his cheek. "You're such a good boy." His back arched off the floor, his chest meeting yours and he rushed to wrap his arms around your neck, pulling you even closer. Those words, that simple praise, was that what sent him over? He lets out a loud cry, his hips stuttering up and sputtering cum all over you both.
After that, you cleaned the poor Adeptus up and carried him into your bed, allowing him to rest. It seems he hasn't exerted himself in that way for quite sometime. The next day Verr Goldet came to you with a noise complaint—
And after the first time, you began to call him that again, of course, only when he came or was on the verge of cumming.
Your hands occupied with another part of his body, your lips leaving small hickies in their wake. His hips stuttering up in want of more, in need of pleasure. Then your lips would take place by his ear, breathing 'Good boy,' to him and allowing him to cum after who knows how long. Xiao grew accustomed to hearing you call him this sweet term each time. Nobody ever called him that outside of you two and your sessions, so he grew to associate 'good boy' with his orgasms, which happened much to your delight.
And now you've got him right where you want him.
Xiao had to, much to his displeasure, go to Liyue for some business— and since you had nothing else to do that day, you decided to tag along.
A meeting with Mr. Zhongli. You sighed, this would take a while. You sat next to Xiao, your eyes trained on him as he listened to Zhongli intently. He looked so pretty. Your eyes trace over his profile, your face heating up as you think of the all times you've seen his profile before, although your mind went to a much naughtier place.
Xiao's head, tossed to the side as he lets out heavy huffs, his fists balled up in the sheets and eyes squeezed shut. His cheeks and ears dusted a lovely pink, brows knitted together. Xiao's jaw clenches, and you can see the muscles take place. You'd chuckle and sneak your lips right before his jawline, leaving soft kisses and you worked up his body. He was also so pretty, when he didn't want you to see his blissed face, instead turning it to the side and giving you more access to his pretty neck. "Xiao, will you be a good boy?" You nip at his earlobe and he gasps, entire body shaking with his orgasm and he lets out a loud moan of your name, crying out 'yes's as he thrusts his hips up. His eyes slowly opening again and glancing at you with a pleased gaze.
You blink, returning to the moment. You look the other way, trying not to look suspicious of impure thoughts. Xiao has been particularly good today, you think, in fact you've never seen him behaving better.
Zhongli excuses himself to make a cup of tea, stating it might be best since you'd all be here for a little while longer. As he exits the room you turn your gaze over to Xiao, who stares at his hands in his laps, deep in thought. You straighten up, clearing your throat and leaning close to him, patting his head with a small, teasing smile.
"You've been a good boy, Xiao."
Xiao chokes, glaring over at you with red cheeks. W-What the hell! His blush grows more furious as he looks down at his lap and then back at you. Worry takes over his face, brows scrunched up and eyes filled with hints of panic. You blink, confused by why he looks like that. Like how he does when he doesn't want to cum yet but he can tell he's close. "Xiao?"
"Stop." He catches your wrist, now unable to meet your eyes. "Ah, hmm... W-What did you do?"
"What do you mean? I didn't-" Your eyes fall on his lap, which has a small wet patch forming. Did he just... cum? Your own face heats up, and you try to hold back a snicker. "Did you just cum?" You whisper, hoping Zhongli wouldn't hear. He looks at you, nodding, his breathing labored. "You naughty boy, did you put a vib-"
"No!... No, I didn't." He groans, looking up at the ceiling, placing his hands over his lap again.
"Then... Did you cum because I said 'good boy'?" He bit back a moan, his hips bucking up despite him trying to restrain himself from doing so. "Oh, well isn't that fun?" He shakes his head, denying that this was anything but 'fun.'
Xiao is so confused, why is his body reacting in this way? Such a violent reaction to such simple words! He wants to crawl up into a ball and be swallowed up the depths of Teyvat— or actually, maybe he'd be better off running away from you and that mischievous look written all over your face. What were you planning? And why did it make his heart jump in his chest?
Zhongli came back, and thankfully Xiao was able to pull himself together. Thanks to the table, and his hands, Zhongli wouldn't be able to see much, and if Xiao carried you and dashed he wouldn't see anything at all.
That being said, Zhongli smiled. "How are you doing Xiao, are you behaving yourself?"
"I'm... fine. I'm not a dog, you don't need to remind me to behave myself."
"What?" You smile, finally pitching in. "Xiao, you do often have a hard time behaving yourself it's only natural your friend would worry, but," You look at Zhongli with a smile, so innocent looking. "But Mr. Zhongli, I assure you, Xiao has been nothing but a good boy." Xiao's breath hitches, face exploding with color once more, and he looks down at his lap. He can feel it, the sticky wetness seeping further. He wants to groan, or whine. He wants to tug on the fabrics of your shirts and beg for more. Humiliation takes over him as he finds himself liking this situation. He wants to hit your arm, you've made him a pervert of sorts, enjoying secretly cumming in front of a friend like this.
"Is that so? I'm glad to hear that." Zhongli looks over at Xiao, and furrows his brows. "Xiao, are you feeling well? You look rather red—"
"Oh, he's okay! I think he just isn't use to being called that." You wave your hand dismissively, "Xiao, are you embarrassed?" He nods weakly, glancing over at you, his hands positioned in such a way that you can see just how much he came, and it seems to be a lot. He's good at biting his tongue and holding back his sounds, despite how loud he gets at the Inn.
"Oh, I haven't see Xiao bashful in such a long time. It's nice to see you still have a cute side after all this time, Xiao."
"Aw? Did he get flustered a lot back-"
"I'm sorry Zhongli, but I have to cut this meeting short. I feel a cosmic disturbance and I cannot let it go unchecked. Please excuse me, we should meet at a later date. Y/n." You look up at him, smiling gently. You suppose you've teased him enough.
"Okay, it was good to see you again Mr. Zhongli." You take Xiao's hand, and with that you two leave quickly.
"I'm never taking you with me again." Xiao mutters, regretting his choice. Although it came to both of you as a shock that you've somehow trained him to cum with your words alone, he knew you'd find some way to mess with him by it. Still, he can't deny that he didn't like it. Maybe... Maybe he'd allow you to do that again. For now, you've got to take care of the mess you made of him!
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