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angel-kyo · 3 days

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Pay it no mind

Part XVIII

In which reader confesses their feelings to Gojo, but it seems these are not returned (maybe?).

Warnings: reader is on the receiving end of rejection (kinda), and the fact that I'm obsessed with unrequited love is a warning itself, and... idk, I didn't mean to put anything warning worthy here, but if you think of something I guess let me know. <3

Previous: Part I, Part II, Part III, Part IV, Part V, Part VI, Part VII, Part VIII, Part IX, Part X, Part XI, Part XII, Part XIII, Part IV, Part XV, Part XVI, Part XVII

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The days that followed after Satoru told you he liked you, it seemed that everything had gone back to normal and you two were slowly falling back into your usual routine: meeting up early in the mornings, bantering in between classes and missions, and eating lunch with Shoko when all of you were at the school. It was comforting to have things return to how they used to be, or that was what you thought.

“What’s up with him?” Shoko asked across from you.

Satoru had business to attend so he had just left you and Shoko at the table in the cafeteria.

“What do you mean?” you looked in the direction he had gone but could no longer see him.

From your perspective, Satoru had not changed much since that day he walked through the school holding your hand; he had not pressed the subject of whether you liked him back still any further either, and since he appeared to be okay in this grey zone where you two were sitting, you had not brought it up either. However, Shoko, as perceptive as ever, had noticed how Gojo, who always seemed to like your personal space, was moving into it almost permanently these days; how he was not even bothering to be discreet with the way he looked at you or remained by your side when you were in the same room, and how, if he was not careful, it would be evident to everyone pretty soon.

At first, Shoko had believed it was all in her head; since that day, years ago, when she first considered that Gojo could have some kind of crush on you, the notion had prevailed. In fact, she had thought she was looking into her friends’ relationship too much, maybe because none of them seem to pay any mind to how they were perceived, so it was not entirely impossible her eyes were just making her believe what she had accepted as true for so long was finally materializing.

Gojo’s laid-back attitude had been one of the reasons why Shoko doubted he cared seriously about whatever feelings he could have for you. Other than that rocky season in high school and a few other occurrences through the years that followed, Satoru had never taken any steps towards an actual relationship with you. Hence, Shoko thought it's a harmless crush.

But as of lately, he looked more... intent. Or maybe...

He’s losing his grip.

“You’ve never found him annoying, have you?” Your friend looked at her almost empty plate and it somehow reminded you of a similar talk you had had months ago.

“A bunch of times, but I guess I don’t find him too annoying,” you answered.

“Isn’t that all love is about?” Ieiri’s eyes connected with yours.

Her comment caught you off guard, and she might have noticed the way your smile froze because her gaze did not leave yours.

You did the only thing that could think of: laugh it off. “Yeah, I guess, if love is annoying, that is.”

Are you finally annoyed by it, Gojo?

“You tell me.” Shoko smiled and put the last bite of her food in her mouth.

***

“Why won’t she just admit she likes him?” Satoru asked while looking at the movie playing in front of him.

Maybe it was a rhetorical question, but you did not look at him before replying “Because there would have been no movie if they were that direct.”

It was a Friday night and Satoru had made an impromptu proposal to you to have a movie marathon at his place. You had accepted but now, into your first movie of the night, you were having trouble to stay focused on the story, which was supposed to be some sort of romantic comedy, not half as bad as many, but the romantic scenes were making you self-conscious.

You watched the scene where the protagonists had gone from arguing to making out and you felt the need to look somewhere else.

From the corner of your eye, Satoru seemed unimpressed.

He’s unfazed, of course he is.

Actually, Satoru was only calm on the surface. Unbeknownst to you, he had also perceived the change in the air between the two of you when the more intimate scenes started playing. He thought he should have chosen a different film, but suggesting changing it now would only make the unsaid more obvious, so he was sticking it up with the most unexpressive face he could manage as the actors on the screen seemed to melt into each other.

Satoru had not meant anything suggestive by choosing that movie; he had just played the first thing he found as he always did when you had not planned in advance, and under normal circumstances, that would have been fine. You had watched all kinds of films together, including romantic ones, the good and the bad ones, but now…

Satoru was already looking at you when you were about to steal another glance in his direction.

His gaze revealed a question he dared not ask, or rather, a question he had promised himself he would not ask until you were ready.

He was trying to be a good friend, even if he wanted to be more than that. It had took him a while to figure out his feelings, so he had resolved to give you as much time as you needed. Yes, Satoru was convinced he could wait patiently, but…

Is he leaning forward?

At times… His resolve weakened.

“[name]…”

The look he was giving you was that of a kid who wanted to ask for something but did not know how. In his clear eyes, there was need but also fear of being denied.

What is your answer? his eyes were asking.

The winter had also frozen time in your friendship, in this safe spot in Satoru’s place, where you could still be friends and pretend nothing needed to change as it never changed in the years before, not in his apartment nor in your friendship. But time must go on, does it not?

“Satoru...”

His phone rang.

Both of you looked at the phone that was screen-down on the coffee table in front of you, and it seemed to take Satoru a couple of seconds to decide if he wanted to pick it up, but he finally did.

“I’ll be right back.” You got up and went to the kitchen.

Giving him some privacy to take the call was an excuse; part of you just wanted to escape of it all, ask Satoru to take it back, let everything remain as it was, stay in the known, but the other part, the part that had been falling for him all this time wanted to see it through.

Are you in love with him?

For a second, you were back in your living room with Haruki, his question and your answer resonating in your head as you watched the cup of tea travel steady from the table to his lips.

“Some people think knowledge that doesn’t change behavior is worthless,” his eyes did not meet yours, and you did not reply immediately.

“If you knew he liked you, would you act on it?” He had almost finished his cup.

"I don't know," you replied.

Months ago, you had been convinced you wanted to act on your feelings, but now, the idea of change was scary, the idea of trying to later find out it was not what you wanted, was scarier; the idea that you and Satoru would never recover if that happened, was terrifying.

“To change something, you first need to accept the possibility of change, and of course you need to know that those possibilities exist. I guess in that way, that knowledge is not worthless, even if nothing actually comes out of it. We should accept the possibilities.”

His feelings were sudden but if there is a possibility...

“Okay, I can accept that,” you said lowly to yourself.

“You can accept what?” Satoru was looking at you and taking the sodas you had just mindlessly pulled from the fridge from your hands.

The room felt a few degrees warmer with his proximity.

“Nothing, I was just...” Your gaze drifted to the door leading to a small terrace where Satoru had installed a couple chairs to sit on when the weather was nice. He almost never did it though, and you could use some fresh air. “Do you want to go outside?”

A smile played on Satoru’s lips. “Isn’t it cold?”

“Just for a bit.”

That was how you and him needed up outside looking at the city lights. You looked up but it was impossible to see the stars. Satoru mirrored your gesture and then directed his gaze back to the city.

“Do you ever regret it?” he asked.

“Regret what?”

He shrugged. “Staying here, doing what we do, not going somewhere quieter or… somewhere where you could see the stars.” He looked up again and you kept your gaze on him.

Why was he asking that now you did not know, but you answered him honestly.

“I do not regret it.” It was true. Even when you did have the opportunity to do something else or be somewhere else, you chose not to leave. “This is pretty too.”

The lights of a city that never seem to sleep were probably not as fascinating and mystical as the stars that burned millions of light years away, but they had some beauty of their own.

“I guess so,” Satoru agreed, and he wrapped an arm around you, and after some silence he spoke again.

“Aren't you cold?”

You nodded your head. “But can we stay here a little longer?”

And maybe what you really wanted to ask was can we stay like this a little longer?

In any case, Satoru would have given you the same response as he held you tighter.

“Of course.”

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Note: I'll try to proofread... Oh, and sorry about basically disappearing. Thank you a bunch for the kind messages during my silence. <3

Thank you for reading!

@mavs-stuff @witchbybirth @crookedlyaddictedone-blog @tqd4455 @maybe-a-bi-witch @mo0nforme @maliakealoha @zacatecanaaaa @blushhpeachh @astriarose @missesgojosatoru @ba-ks @sukunasleftkneecap @songbirdlully @cole-silas @heijihattorisgf @chokesonspit @hersheyzzz @smolbeanzzz @luciledreamz @avidreadee123 @moonmalice @ratscandaler @sadmonke @allie-jay @username23345 @spin-garden @ashehateaccount @kayzens @blehtotheblehtothebleh @stellasloth @bloopsstuff @cheesemachine44 @tetsuski

#gojo satoru #jjk #gojo x you #jjk fanfic #gojo x y/n #jujutsu kaisen #jjk gojo #gojo fanfic #gojo x reader #gojo fluff #gojou satoru x reader #satoru x reader #pay it no mind

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tswwwit · 2 years

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I love how in the last stretch of completing something, sometimes my brain shuts down and goes 'Ehhh this is hard :(' and starts drawing a blank.

Like. Bro. We've got 90% of this done. Now I've gotta try and shove this recalcitrant piece of fatty meat across the finish line.

#this is just me complaining #Pay it no mind #writing is hard folks #I'm gonna roll around on the floor for a while and see if that does anything #Rotate the brain and perhaps it will kickstart

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ailithnight · 1 year

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Someone did not appreciate my invitation to tell me about blorbo.

: (

#ailith talks to the void #don't mind me #Just reminding myself that #I do not need to defend myself to strangers on the internet #Seriously #This post is purely so that I can think my thoughts and let them go without starting or getting dragged in to drama #Pay it no mind

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arvion-creates · 1 year

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Well, 2023 is nearly over, so I figure it's about time to upload my 2023 New Years card. I made it to send to my friends, and I did, and it was fun. In the future I'd think I need more contrast, it didn't print impressively.

#my art #my posts #word of honor #hanwenzhou #to those seeing the discrepancy between '2023 is nearly over' and post date:#I backdated it so my posts archive will be kinda chronological on creation date #pay it no mind

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jo-dracona · 10 months

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Tried looking up “what kind of masculine am I transmasc quiz” cause I’m feeling directionless rn and literally all of the results were “am I transgender? Quiz” “am I a trans man? Quiz” except for one.

Then it was 7 questions long, two of them were just like “are you cottage core, goth or lame?” Another 2 we’re just shitty meme/reaction image picks (on one of which 3/6 options were pictures of capybaras) and then the last fucking question was pick some music and the options were: “Korn, gorilaz, Lemon demon, Nirvanna, Mitski, and Skip/idk those”

Like. I’m trying to get answers here.

The answer I got was like “you’re cis passing. Like honestly a little too well. You need to be gayer.”

You fucker I have D cups I ain’t passing for shit. If I’m not goth or a cottage core uwu soft boi then I must just be boring huh. And boring=cis huh.

#I’m just ranting here I don’t wanna start shit #this was clearly a quiz someone just made at 3am for their own enjoyment #was just really pissed about being called cis-passing when I’ve been having really nasty dysphoria lately #so I’m just bitching #pay it no mind

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andyinmiddleearth · 8 months

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Oh no it’s the end of the entire world . You called me a man. Yawn? You forget normal people don’t give a fuck what you call them? She knows my views and loves me for it. You people are the reason gay acceptance has gone down. Also, my fiancé would never date a transbian, ya know, bc she’s a L E S B I A N.

Ah yes, we are the reason gay people aren’t accepted instead of actual violent homophobes and conservative lawmakers /s. You do know Black and brown trans women (Marsha and Sylvia) gave you your rights right? Oh wait, you don’t, because you’re a filthy TERF that all she knows how to do is talk about how much she loves pussy because she’s a cissexist misogynist that reduces women to their body parts. Fuck you and fuck your fiancé, and take the names of my lesbian trans sisters and siblings out of your mouth. Trans lesbians are lesbians and many cis lesbians date them. You’re not a real lesbian because lesbians are attracted to women and non-men or at least support transfemmes if they aren’t attracted to them. You’re just attracted to genitalia because you view women as walking vaginas.

Anyways, just know they won’t stop at trans and non-binary people. Once they have completed the last stage of trans genocide, they’re coming for you too, and you’re digging your own tomb by aligning yourself with the alt-right simply because you don’t want people like me to exist. It’s your funeral, so go right ahead, but don’t you turn crying to the trans community when your rights are stripped away, (spoiler alert: they already have been). There is no LGB without the TQIA+. Without the T your mere existence would still be illegal today, so sit the fuck down and put some respect into the names of the women that fought for your gay liberation so you can pull a JK Rowling and cry with your white woman tears (I’m assuming you’re white because most TERFs are, because they are both racist and transphobic, because the gender binary and transphobia are intrinsically link with colonization, racism, and anti-Blackness).

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harpiboo · 2 years

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made for a friend and i, mine is the trans lizard and the beads say “pay it no mind”, the friends’ says “eat the rich

#bead lizard #kandi #lgbtq #trans #pay it no mind #eat the rich

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flyatahighergame-arch · 2 years

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#Test post for zero reason.#Absolutely zero reason #Pay it no mind #➢ Tʜᴇʀᴇ ᴡɪʟʟ ᴄᴏᴍᴇ ᴀ ᴘᴏᴇᴛ; ᴡʜᴏsᴇ ᴡᴇᴀᴘᴏɴ ɪs ʜᴇʀ ᴡᴏʀᴅ (loke speaks)

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ursbearhug · 2 years

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I'm such a trendsetter. If I'm waiting for a train, you bet your candy ass that entire country will try to board same train as me. What can I say? It's not easy being green.

#I talk nonsense #pay it no mind #I'm just mad

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angel-kyo · 1 month

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Pay it no mind

Part XVII

In which reader confesses their feelings to Gojo, but it seems these are not returned (maybe?).

Warnings: reader is on the receiving end of rejection (kinda), and the fact that I'm obsessed with unrequited love is a warning itself.

Previous: Part I, Part II, Part III, Part IV, Part V, Part VI, Part VII, Part VIII, Part IX, Part X, Part XI, Part XII, Part XIII, Part IV, Part XV, Part XVI

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“If I asked for advice, would you give me some?”

“Only because I have a feeling you wouldn’t leave me alone until I did,” was what Shoko replied to the man in front of her. “As long as it's not love advice, I guess.”

Satoru’s smile seemed to falter, and when he forced a laugh out, Ieiri’s eyebrow quirked. “It’s just advice to… “

How could he frame it without giving himself away? It was not that Satoru wanted to keep his feelings a secret, and he knew Shoko would probably roll her eyes but would not judge him. Still, he did not want to put her in an awkward situation with you if ultimately, nothing came out of this.

“Advice to understand someone,” Satoru said, thinking that should suffice. What he needed at the end was to understand how you were feeling now, was it not?

Shoko blinked slowly and gave Gojo a long, thoughtful look.

“Advice to understand someone,” she repeated. “What would you need that for?”

What is he up to now?

Gojo had never given her the impression of being particularly good at understanding people, that much was true. Of course, he could find his way around them, rather smartly if she dared add, and she knew he could charm people in to take advantage of their strengths, but that did not mean he always understood their feelings, not that he had ever shown much interest in doing it in the first place.

He had always stricken her as the kind of person that cared about people but could not always care for them.

Satoru leaned back in his chair. “If someone told you you are selfish, wouldn’t you like to know why?”

I would, she thought, but it is not like you to mind what people say.

“If it were someone whose opinion matters…” he added, crossing his arms.

He’s not saying any names, but there aren’t many people that could make him care.

“And you don’t want them to think of you like that,” she completed.

He smiled in her direction, but Shoko had the feeling he was avoiding her gaze.

So that’s it.

“So, someone called you selfish, and you want to understand why they did it?” Shoko asked him, sounding as disinterested as ever, but he knew her; the wheels in her head were turning. “I guess it depends on the circumstances.” She leaned back in his chair imitating Satoru’s posture. “If they had a reason for it, something you said or did...”

Gojo seemed to ponder her words for a moment. Was that not the quid of the question?

Satoru himself knew he had done countless things that could be considered selfish. From taking your share of dessert when you were kids to sometimes taking your bed whenever he stayed at your place, to even influencing your decision to stay in Tokyo when you could have left to teach at the school in Kyoto; but not even once had you called him out on it, not seriously at least.

“It might have been something I did,” he admitted.

Ieiri was about to asked what it had been when he spoke again.

“I think… I took something from them.”

Stole… Yeah, I stole that kiss from them.

Is that why you were upset after, because he got carried away and kissed you?

Your hurt and distasteful expression flashed before his eyes.

No, there was more to it.

“You took something? Without permission, I assume.” Ieiri was looking at him.

She knew Gojo had a habit of following that saying: 'Better ask for forgiveness than permission'.

The thing was that even if he did not ask for permission, he rarely asked for forgiveness.

“Can’t you just return it?” she questioned, referring to the ‘something’ Satoru said he had taken.

“No.”

Gojo allowed himself to smile a little as he remembered how you had kissed him back. As bitter as the aftermath had been, for a fleeting moment when your lips moved with his, he thought all pieces were falling into place.

Shoko looked at him suspiciously and sighed. “I guess if you can’t return it, apologize and pay up.”

He hummed.

If only it were that easy.

“And just maybe give it some more thought,” Ieiri continued. “If someone calls you selfish, I think it’s more about your feelings than theirs…. Or to how they think you feel.” She gestured vaguely with her hand. “I guess one or the other.”

“My feelings?” Gojo felt confused by his friend’s words. He knew Shoko was not great at explaining stuff, but what did his feelings have to do with anything? You had not even wanted to hear them.

Ieiri was already standing up and had to looked down at him when she asked him “What you did, did you really do it out of selfishness?”

Satoru knew he could be a selfish man sometimes if the situation called for it, but that night he had just been… impatient. He did not want to spend one more second without knowing how you felt now, without you knowing how he felt.

Was that what you were thinking when you confessed? Had been your heart burning like his?

“No, not really,” he answered honestly.

“Then tell them that,” she said. “People don’t know how you truly feel about whatever you do until you tell them.”

He stood up. “That’s not a bad piece of advice.”

Shoko shrugged. “Whatever helps.” She turned around on her heels but stopped to look back at Gojo. “I guess it is also a piece of love advice.”

He looked at her, but she could not tell his eyes reflected surprise.

“Whatever you have to say, you don’t want to wait until it’s too late.” The closed lip smile she gave him, made Satoru think she was talking from experience, but her demeanor changed in a second. “It’s just a thought. What do I know anyway?” and she left.

Satoru smiled for himself.

Thanks, Shoko.

***

“Under what motive?” the oldest of the three men in the dimly light room asked the other two. “Seems to be a personal revenge. If they want to kill them, let them settle it themselves. Why meddle?”

“They probably do not want to become a target to the Gojo clan,” the man on his left replied.

He had referred to them as the Gojo clan, but they all knew they were thinking of one man in particular.

“Is the [your family name] that strongly connected to the Gojo clan? Is there some kind of contract between families?”

“None there are records of, but there are rumors they are...”

“That would explain it,” the third man, who had been silent all along, finally intervened. “Their attitude about the incident with Geto Suguru; their reluctance to reason with Gojo Satoru when he proclaimed himself the tutor of that kid of the Zenin, and now this; it is obvious where their loyalty lies.”

“A most uncooperative attitude, indeed, but is it necessary to do anything about it?” the first man asked.

“Weeds must be pulled out on time. We learned that the hard way” the second man finished.

***

'I’m alive. Can we meet when you have time?'

That had been Satoru’s message to you.

You had told him you were getting back to work today, and you could meet there. If you had told him he could come to your place yesterday, he would have known at first sight that you had gotten hurt in your last mission.

He does not need to know I got beaten up like that.

And now you were resting your back against a tree despite the cold weather around you. That was yours and Satoru’s usual reunion spot most mornings before work. It was not official, but you always stood there for a few minutes before walking the rest of the pathway and clocking in. At first, it had just been a good spot to finish your morning coffee, but at some point, it became the spot where you waited for Satoru.

Right, it was also not far from here.

You looked around for the spot where you had confessed. Unsurprisingly, you did not feel like having any morning coffee for a few days after that.

Maybe it’s not as bad as I remember it. Maybe I could ask Satoru if it was.

You closed your eyes and sighed.

No, I can’t do that. I’m not even sure of how I’m going to face him today.

When Satoru saw you, a smiled formed on his lips, but it quickly faltered when he realized he was not sure of how to approach you.

You two had gone back to texting each other just the day before, after a long period of complete silence, and furthermore, after that fight, or miscommunication, or “biggest screw-up so far”, as Satoru had been referring to the incident of that day in his head. What should be the first thing he tells you now?

He did not regret kissing you, but after giving it more thought, he had reached the conclusion that Ieiri was right, he should have made his feelings clearer.

He needed to be direct now, but what if you did not take it kindly if he just spitted that he was in love with you on your face? Jeez, he should have at least brought flowers or candy. Would that not have been more romantic?

“Satoru?”

Or coffee, he should have at least brought you something to drink.

“Satoru?”

You had opened your eyes and were looking at him.

I love you.

He wanted to just say it, but what came out instead was “Coffee.”

“Coffee?” you asked.

Idiot, Satoru told himself.

“No! I mean, I should have brought you coffee.” Why was he so nervous?

“Okay? We can have some in the teachers’ room,” you told him. You straighten up and looked ahead; you were technically in the school grounds, but you still had to walk some more before making it to the main building. “Shall we?”

Satoru gave you a silent nod and you both started walking.

You had asked him how his mission had been, and he said it went all right, but he had forgotten your souvenir at home. Then he asked how you had been, and you told him you were fine. Then you were out of subjects to discuss, and the silence felt uncomfortable. Had this path always been this long?

Suddenly, Satoru touched your arm and both of you halted.

When you turned your head to him, it seemed he had his eyes on the spot where his hand was touching you, right above your elbow.

You could feel the wam of his hand even through your clothes.

“About the other night…”

So he was going to address the elephant in the room.

You bit your tongue. Whatever he had to say, you had to hear it.

“I am sorry. I did not mean to…” he was still not meeting your gaze, but his hand was sliding down to yours. “I did not mean to upset you.”

“I’m sorry too, for kicking you out and...”

“I like you.” His hand squeezed yours as he pronounced those words.

“As in…”

What did he mean? You knew he liked you as a person and as his friend, but if he was saying what you were thinking…

His free hand removed a loose stand of hair off your face. “As in I like you.”

If anyone looked at you two, there would be no more mistaking it; all rumors would automatically be considered true: the strongest sorcerer had a thing for his childhood friend.

“You don’t need to say anything now,” he continued when he saw a hint of hesitation on your face. “Just say you will think about it, okay?”

When had he started liking you? If he rejected you months ago, was it not kind of recent?

When he kissed you, was it because he liked you or because he believed you were leaving him alone?

You liked him as much as ever, and more than once you had wished his answer had been different months ago when your feelings came out of the bag, but those awkward days after, and the turbulence that followed had taught you that you did not want him out of your life. What would happen if things did not work out? None of you could probably revert to how they had been before. Was it worth risking your friendship after all?

You nodded to Satoru's question, and he gently pulled you to resume your walk.

You eyed your hand enclosed in his. “Shouldn’t we…?”

He kept looking ahead with a light smile. “Just a little longer, can we?”

Satoru rubbed the back of your hand with his thumb and finally let go of it when you reached your destination and parted ways to go to your respective students.

He felt satisfied believing he had made his feelings clear this time, while you could only think of how cold your hand had felt without his, and how if you broke each other’s hearts, he might never want to hold your hand again.

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Note: I'm alive!

Thank you for reading!

Next: Part XVIII

#gojo satoru #gojo x reader #jjk #jjk drabbles #gojo x you #jjk fanfic #gojo x y/n #jjk gojo #gojo fanfic #satoru x reader #pay it no mind #gojo fluff #gojo satoru x reader

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inkskinned · 4 months

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i got rickrolled today but it didn't work because i have adblocker installed, so youtube just told me i violated the terms of service. yesterday i was trying to edit a picture as a joke for my girlfriend, and google made me check a box to prove i'm human because i wasn't "searching normally".

it isn't just that capitalism is killing fun and whimsy, it is that any element of entertainment or joy is being fed upon by this mosquito body, one that will suck you dry at any vulnerability.

do you want to meet new friends in your city? download this app, visit our website, sign up for our email list. pay for this class on making a terrarium, on candlemaking, on cooking. it will be 90 dollars a session. you can go to group fitness, but only under our specific gym membership. solve the puzzle, sign up for our puzzle-of-the-month-club. what is a club if not just a paid opportunity - you are all paying for the same thing, which makes you a community.

but you're like me, i know it - you're careful, you try the library meetings and the stuff at the local school and all of that. the problem is that you kind of want really specific opportunities that used to exist. you are so grateful for libraries and the publicly-funded things: they are, however, an exception - and everything they have, they've fought tooth-and-nail to protect. you read a headline about how in many other states, libraries have virtually nothing left.

do you want to meet up with your friends afterwards? gift your friends the discord app. you can choose to go to a cafe (buy a coffee, at least), a bar (money, alcohol) or you can all stay in and catch a movie (streaming) or you can all stay in bed (rent. don't get me started) and scream (noise complaint. ticket at least).

you want to read a new book, but the book has to have 124 buzzwords from tiktok readers that are, like, weirdly horny. you can purchase this audiobook on audible! your podcast isn't on spotify, it's on its own server, pay for a different site. fuck, at least you're supporting artists you like. the art museum just raised their ticket price. once, they had a temporary exhibit that acknowledged that ~85% of their permanent art galleries were from cis white men, and that they had thousands of works by women (even famous women, like frida! georgia o'keefe!) just rotting in their basement. that exhibit lasted for 3 months and then they put everything away again.

walmart proudly supports this strip of land by the street! here are some flowers with wilting leaves. its employees have to pay out-of-pocket for their uniforms. my friend once got fined by the city because she organized a community pick-up of the riverfront, which was technically private property.

no, you cannot afford to take that dance class, neither can i. by the way - i'm a teacher. i'm absolutely not saying "educators shouldn't be paid fairly." i'm saying that when i taught classes, renting a studio went from 20 bucks an hour to 180 in the span of 6 months. no significant changes to the studio were made, except they now list the place as updated and friendly. the heat still doesn't work in the building. i have literally never seen the landlord who ignores my emails. recently they've been renting it out at night as an "unusual nightclub; a once-in-a-lifetime close-knit party." they spent some of those 180 dollars on LEDs and called it renovating. the high heels they invite in have been ruining the marley.

do you want to experience the old internet? do you want to play flash games or get back the temporary joy of club penguin? you can, you just need to pay for it. i have a weird, neurodivergent obsession with occasionally checking in to watch the downfall and NFT-ification of neopets. if i'm honest with you all - i never got into webkins, my family didn't have the money to buy me a pointless elephant. people forget that "being poor" can mean literally "if i buy you that toy, i can't afford rent."

you and i don't have time to make good food, and we don't have the budget for it. we are not gonna be able to host dinner parties, we're not made of money, kid. do you want some kind of 3rd space? a space that isn't home or work or school? you could try being online, but - what places actually exist for you? tiktok counts as social media because you see other people on it, not because they actually talk to you.

there was a local winter tradition of sledding down the hill at my school. kids would use pizza boxes and jackets and whatever worked, howling and laughing. back in september, they made a big announcement that this time, rules were changing, and everyone must pay 10 dollars to participate. when im not scared shitless, i kind of appreciate the environmental irony - it hasn't gone below 40. so much for snow & joyriding.

i saw a bulletin for a local dogwalking group and, nervous about making a good first impression, showed up early. the first guy there grimaced at me. "sorry," he said. "there's a 30-dollar buy-in fee." i thought he was joking. wait. for what? the group doesn't offer anything except friendship and people with whom to walk around the city.

he didn't know the answer. just shrugged at me. "you know," he said. "these days, everything costs money."

#spilled ink #warm up #“why did u tag it warm up” bc i wrote it off the cuff while drinkin coffee lol #btw the 30 dollar buy in for the dog walking is bc they pay the organizer a small pittance so she can #run fb ads and stuff and like she does put in a lot of work i don't mind paying her #but that's exactly what im fucking talking about like.#ppl can't afford to volunteer their time anymore and we all understand it!!! everything costs money for everyone!#like we didn't have to use to say ''do you mind paying me back for the stuff we ate''#we used to be able to afford to feed our friends once in a while!!!

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