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#peaky blinders family
justmymindandstuff · 2 years
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This isn’t “goodbye”, this is simply “see you later” - Series Part 2 : Without you
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Summary: John is far away in France to fight in a terrible war. And you stayed behind, you wait for him. But everything has consequences and when you find out about your pregnancy, the construct of lies that once was your life falls apart and you are alone, without your fiancé.
Pairing: John Shelby x Y/N Words: 8796 Warnings: angst, unplanned pregnancy, family problems, talking about abortion (please let me know if i forgot something)
A/N: Timeskipes are marked with — English is not my first language. All mistakes are my own. Part 2/3    -> Part 1
GIF not mine 
You can also read this on AO3.
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                                           Part 2: Without you 
It hasn't rained in 3 days and the air is a little too warm for this time of year, but you don't mind. You enjoy the sun while you can, autumn would come soon enough. You are walking down the streets next to a school friend, Emily. She said goodbye to her brother yesterday and is obviously worried about him, so you figured you'd distract her a little. "Who do we pick up again?" asks Emily. "An old friend of mine, Ada." you answer her. Polly asked you to look after Ada, she have gone into her room and won't come out. Ada's aunt worries that she will get sick and at least you go to nursing school. But you know she doesn't get sick, you know why she doesn't come out of her room. Freddy also went to France 1 week ago. Ada is like you, her lover went to war and left her behind. So Ada needs a little distraction too. You all need distraction, and a good tea and an afternoon with friends would be good for you all. You've cried a lot since John went to war, and every night you lie awake for hours hoping he's okay. The last 6 weeks without John have been difficult for you, but he would surely be back soon. A light wind blows through your hair and your dress blows around your legs. It's your favourite dress, maybe because it hugs your body so softly, or because John gave it to you as a gift. Probably both. "Hey sweety." you hear a loud whistle, but you don't turn to the voice, it's probably just another drunk worker, of whom there are more than enough here. Emily looks over her shoulder and tenses a little, but you keep walking down the street towards your destination. "Come on ladies, don't you fancy a little fun?" You roll your eyes and quicken your pace a little, Emily grabs your hand uncertainly. She is not often in this area and is more used to socializing with other people. Suddenly someone grabs your arm and holds you tight. Angry you turn around and Emily next to you looks at the small group of men in shock and fear. "Let me go." you say and try to tear yourself away. The self-assured look of men suddenly becomes insecure. "Let go of her, that's John's girl." says one of the men. "He said he would kill anyone who touches her." The stranger lets you go. "Excuse me, Miss Shelby." “It's all right,” you say, grabbing Emily's arm and pulling her down the street. "You are John Shelby's wife?" asks Emily in shock. "His fiancée, it's a secret." Meeting this men confused you. You know John and his brothers do a few things that are not legal. But you didn't know that the Peaky Blinders are causing so much horror in Birmingham that these men would listen to his threats. What does John do when he's not with you? "You really lead a double life." says Emily, her eyes glowing with excitement. "I don't. But please don't tell anyone." "Of course not." You arrive at Pollys house, and you open the door to the betting shop, there isn't much going on inside. Polly is sitting at Tommy's desk, concentrating on a few papers. "Hello Aunt Polly." "Y / N, nice to see you." her gaze goes to Emily. "A friend of mine. We wanted to pick up Ada." Polly nods, she looks a little tired and suddenly you have a bad conscience, you haven't been here the last few days. You have a hard time being in John's home when he's not there. Everything reminds you of him and then you miss him even more. "Do you need help?" you ask "No, it's okay. Could you just take a quick look at Finn's writing practice?" "Of course." you go through the shop to the back where Polly's house is. Finn sits at the kitchen table and writes a few simple words in a messy script. "Hello little one, how is it going?" "Good. I can already write my name." he tells you proudly. Then he sees Emily. "Who is this?" he immediately asks sceptically. "A friend of mine." "That's fine then." he tries to sound older than he is, which makes you smile. You correct a few small mistakes and then send him out to play. "You will be back before the sun goes down." "Yes Sister." he calls out and then disappears out the back door. Emily looks around the small kitchen a little. "You really lead a double life." she says again. "The Shelbys are my family." "Does your real family know that?" she asks, but a slight smile plays around her lips. "No, and that's better that way. Come on." you go up the stairs and knock on Ada's door. No answer. "Ada? Ada open the door, I know you're there." you say and knock again. It takes a moment and Ada opens the door. "What do you want?" "I told you I'd come over today. Come on, get ready. We'll spend the afternoon together." Ada rolls her eyes. "But I don´t want to." "I don't care, you have 5 minutes or I'll drag you out of here in your nightgown." you try to put on Polly's stern look, but you're pretty sure you won't quite make it. Nevertheless, Ada sets herself in motion and gets ready. 20 minutes later the 3 of you are outside and let the last warm rays of sun shine on your face. And you were right, the day was really good for all of you. In the evening you accompany Emily and then Ada home. As you step into Polly's house, the smell of food envelops you. "You have perfect timing." Polly greets you. "The food is almost ready." The back door opens and Finn comes in, he's full of dirt and dust, but his eyes are bright and his cheeks are flushed from running. "Letters have come. From France. Y / N here, your name is on it." You will instantly recognize John's handwriting and your heart will skip a beat. Finn hands you the letter and when you are excited to hear from John again you pack him the bag of your dress. "You don't want to read it?" asks Polly, she's also holding a letter in her hand, with Arthur's handwriting on the envelope. "Yes, of course, but calmly. I read it at home." Polly nods, then opens Arthur's letter, her eyes darting quickly over the lines. "They are fine." she then says and then passes it on to Ada, who also quickly skims the lines. You read over her shoulder, but Arthur's handwriting is so messy that you can barely read his words. It doesn´t take long and you  all sitt at the dinner table. Finn tells a little about his adventures down by the river today. His childlike light-heartedness does not fit into the mood of the depressed and warlike mood that prevails in England, but it gives you the feeling of home and cheers you up. After dinner you help Polly clean up while Ada forces Finn to take a bath. Then you say goodbye and make your way home. "Y / N there you are finally. You missed the meal." your mother greets you. "I'm sorry, I went shopping with Emily, we forgot the time." Your mother shakes her head, but she's not really mad. "I'll ask the maid to reheat the food." "I'm not hungry. But I am very tired." Your mother had to give you a critical look. ,,Okay. Good night my child." "Good night mother. I love you." "I love you." your mother gives you a kiss on the forehead and you run up the stairs to your room. You quickly lock the door behind you and take John's letter out of your pocket.   My beloved princess, I hope you are alright and you don't miss me too much. Just a little bit, so you don't forget me. I am sorry that I will only get in touch with you now. The trip to France took longer than we all thought. I don't want to bore you with details about the war. But France is really beautiful, the landscape, the cities, the weather is also a little better than at home. It doesn't rain that much, but it's very cold. I think you would like France, maybe one day we will travel here when the war is over. I think about you all the time, about you and about our future. Tommy is joking about me, but I don't care. I wake up every morning and look forward to coming home to you. I miss you so much. How is it in England? Are Finn, Ada and Polly all right? Arthur is always in a bad mood, I think he misses the English alcohol, and France is probably too cold for him. But otherwise, he's fine, we're all fine. I'm supposed to give you best regards from Tommy and Arthur. I love you so much. And I'll see you soon, I promise I'll be back before Christmas. John   You lower the letter and take a deep breath. Even if it's total nonsense, you imagine that the letter smells a little like John. Your heart contracts painfully and you feel like you're going to throw up if he's apart from you for just a second longer. It's been the same for six weeks, you can distract yourself easily during the day, but as soon as you're alone in your room you miss him so much that it hurts. You sit down at your little desk and start writing an answer to his letter. ---   The sun shines through your curtains and blinds you a little. You blink a few times and then turn away from the sun. Your eyes still sting a little from all the tears you cried that night. Not every night is that bad, but most are. John has been in France for 3 months now, but you still miss him as much as you did on the first day. You climb out of your warm bed and get ready for the day. "Y / N, are you coming for breakfast?" your mother's voice shines through the house. You look again in the small mirror in your room, with a little make-up you don't look that tired, but you can't get rid of your tearful eyes. You quickly run down the stairs and meet your parents in the dining room. The maid has already set the table and prepared breakfast. Like every morning, your father has disappeared behind his newspaper and your mother is trying to have a casual conversation. But you're too tired and too sad to play the happy girl you were a few weeks ago. Before John left. "Are you coming to my office today after school? The books need to be checked." asks your father after reading the newspaper. "Yes of course." not even your favorite task is giving you anticipation. You go to nursing school because your mother wanted it, but only on the condition that you can still help in your father's office. You love numbers and math. "Actually, I had thought that Y / N would not go to school today and would spend the day with me instead." your mother interferes. "We hardly have mother daughter time because she has so much to do with school, then the study group and the practical hours in the hospital." There is neither a study group, nor practical hours in the hospital, they were all excuses to be able to spend more time with the Shelbys. "All right, but then tomorrow." says your father and you nod. After you've finished the family breakfast, your father goes to work. Your mother puts a cup of tea in front of you and looks at you carefully. You are uncomfortable with her look. "Who is the father?" "What?" you ask in surprise. "Who is the father Y / N?" your mother's voice sounds very calm and she smiles at you understandingly. "What are you talking about?" you ask, you have no idea what she means. "You are tired all the time, but you sleep a lot, you look a little bloated and your pain pills in the bathroom are still full. So you didn't get your monthly bleeding. Who is the father?" You feel your heart start beating faster in your chest, you didn't even notice. You were so busy with school, taking care of Finn and missing John that you didn't even notice. Are you pregnant? That can't really be. You notice how tears well up in your eyes as you sink onto the soft sofa in the living room. Your mother is by your side and hugs you. "That can't be. It was only once." "That's enough dear." says your mother and then sighs. "So the father, who is it and will he marry you?" Your hand goes to the engagement ring hanging on a chain around your neck. ,,Yes. He promised. As soon as he comes back from France. " Your mother sighs again. "That can take a while." "No, he said he'd be back soon, before Christmas." You can see in your mother's eyes that she doesn't believe it. Still she smiles. "Will you tell me his name?" You swallow once and look down at your hands. Even if she's not mad just yet, she will be as soon as she knows that John is the father. How many times has she told you stay away from the Shelbys? They are not good company, they will ruin you, they will drag you into their criminal activities. Your mother had told you all this so many times. "John Shelby." you whisper and now the tears are running down your cheeks. Your mother gets up in one quick motion. "That gypsy!" she pronounces it like a swear word. "Mom please. I'm so sorry, I didn't want this to happen." "Did he force you?" "What no! Of course not, he loves me and I love him. And we will get married as soon as he is back in England. He promised that." "Men promise a lot if they want under your skirt. I thought I taught you that." ,,Mom please. He loves me.” Your mother sighs. "Did he tell you that?” "Yes! And that he will marry me. And that we are a family." you answer and cross your arms stubbornly over your chest. "Men lie! Believe me, they all lie." "Not John. Mama believe me, he loves me. And we're engaged." "Another lie, he won't marry you. Please believe me, men like him get bored of women easily." "You don't even know him. He's a good man and he won't be bored with me, we've been together for years." "What?" asks your mother in surprise. "We've been together for years, secretly. Because you and Dad would never have accepted him. Although you don't even know him, he's a gypsy who cares? But he's also friendly, loving and good. And his family treat me like I'm one of them already. The Shelbys are good people, please believe me. " Your mother takes a few deep breaths and is silent for a long time. "He's living with his aunt right?" You nod. "I want to speak to her." your mother gets up and rings the bell for the maid. "Please get our coats, we're going out." "You want to meet Polly? Right now?" you ask in surprise, you would have expected your mother to scream and be angry, but definitely not that. "Yes." The maid brings your coats and you make your way to Watery Lane. Your mother's gaze is sceptical of the run-down houses, the children walking barefoot across the street and the drunk workers. "Nice environment." she snippets off. "Can you please not be so biased?" "I'll try." You keep walking down the street, a few of the men glare at you and your mother grabs her expensive coat tighter. But you don't worry, in the last few months you've realized just how big the influence of the Peaky Blinders is in Birmingham. Everyone respects John and his brothers, and their word applies even when they are far away in France. "You don't have to be afraid." "Here you will be robbed if you look the wrong way." "Yeah, maybe, but we don't." "And why are you so sure about that?" "Trust me." You arrive at Polly's house and you open the door. Immediately you feel at home. "Y / N!" Finn yells and comes running towards you. He jumps into your arms and hugs you tightly. "Finn, not so stormy." you say, but you also hug him. In the past few weeks you've always been too tired to really play with him, and of course the little boy noticed that. Since Finn doesn't know how to deal with the new situation and no one has taught him how to express his feelings properly, he reacts either angry or clingy. You're glad he's clinging to you today. "Mum, may I introduce you. Finn Shelby, John's brother. Finn, this is my mother." you introduce the two of them, your mother holds out a hand to Finn, but he only tilts his head. "You have to shake her hand." you say softly and nudge Finn. He nods and grabs your mother's hand with his dirty little hand to give her a quick shake. "Is Aunt Polly here?" "In the shop." "Will you get her please? And then go upstairs." "But.." "Do not discuss with me." you say in a stern tone. You don't want to be mean or dismissive to him. But you're too tense to care for his feelings at this moment. You have no idea why your mother would want to talk to Polly and to be honest you're terrified. Finn rolls his eyes, but then turns to get Polly. Polly enters the small kitchen. "Y/N, what happened? Lot to do today." she stops when she sees your mother standing next to you. Polly closes the door to the betting shop behind her and forces a smile on her face. "Mrs. Y/L/N. How can I help you?" "Your nephew got my daughter pregnant." your mother says with suppressed anger in her voice. Polly doesn't react at all surprised, she just nods slightly. "I know." "Since when?" you ask shocked. "About a week. I read your tea leaves. It will be a healthy girl." At her words, a strange feeling of happiness and calm washes over you, even if it doesn't completely replace the panic. "Gypsy nonsense" spits out your mother. "It's not that. Did you just come to insult my family or is there anything else I can help you with?" Polly now asks your mother and you admire her self-confidence once again. Your mother is used to always being treated with kindness and respect, and because of her family and her good marriage, she is used to getting what she wants. "I'll take Y/N to a doctor in London tomorrow, after that the problem will be solved and I don't want any more contact between my daughter and your nephew." "The two are engaged, I can hardly forbid John the contact with his future wife." "Oh please! We both know that this marriage will never happen. We both know that John will never marry my daughter, he never intended to, all he wanted was someone to warm his bed. " You want to yell your mother that John will keep his word and that he loves you. But Polly is faster. "Get out of my house! I will not have you slander the honesty and honor of my nephew and my entire family with your lies. John is a good man, he will keep his word and he loves Y/N . If you accept that, you're welcome back here, not until then." "Gypsy pack." says your mother. "Y/N, come on, let's go home, there's a lot to do until tomorrow." "No!" you say and take a few steps away from your mother. "I won't come with you, and I won't go to London tomorrow either." You put your hand protectively on your flat stomach, even if you can't imagine that a small person is really growing in it. "You have no choice Y/N! What do you think happens? Do you think you can stay here? And wait for John to come back and then you get married and live happily ever after?" your mother's tone is taunting, but you don't care. "Yes! That's exactly how it will be." you know yourself that you sound naive. But you know that John loves you and that you will be a family. Your mother shakes her head. "Fine, make that decision! But don´t come back when you're out on the street in a few weeks." she throws another disparaging look in the direction of Polly and then disappears from the small kitchen. As the door closes behind her, tears begin to fall from your eyes, even though you can't really believe what just happened, even if you can't believe your mother just really let you down. Polly is quickly at your side and hugs you. "Take it easy dear, everything will be fine. Don't get upset, it's not good for your child." "I don't know what to do now." you bring out tears. Polly strokes your hair soothingly. "First you stop crying, then I want you to get some rest and then we'll see, alright?" you nod "Well, then go up to John's room and get some sleep, I'll tell some of the Blinders to get your things from your parents' house." "No! My mother will freak out if the Peaky Blinders show up at her door. She'll call the police." Polly sighs. "Maybe you're right. There are only the younger ones here and I really don't have time for problems with the police right now." she thinks aloud. "I still have a few things here." you say weak "That will be enough until everyone has calmed down and until John is back." your voice sounds hopeful, as soon as John comes back in a few weeks everything will be fine. Polly nods. "All right, we'll take care of that later. Rest now." You nod and leave the kitchen to go up the stairs to John's room, when you've just reached the stairs Polly calls after you. "And of course you won't end up on the streets, no matter what happens here you will always have a home." Polly's words bring tears to your eyes. "Thank you Aunt Polly."   You sleep most of the afternoon and only wake up when Ada knocks on the door and sticks her head in the room. "Can I come in?" "Yes." you sit up a bit in bed, Ada slips out of her shoes and sits next to you on the mattress. "Polly told me everything. How are you?" "I don't know. I'm scared and I'm sad about my mother's behaviour, but at the same time I've never been happier in my life. I'm having a baby! A real little human. I want to believe that everything will be fine. " "It will be for sure! John will be home soon and so will Tommy and Arthur and then everything will be like before." says Ada. "Freddie will come home then." you say and lightly nudge Ada in the side, she sighs. "I haven't gotten a single letter yet. And he said not to write to him, he doesn't want Tommy to find out." Now you have to sigh too and take Ada in your arms. "It'll be all right. You said he said he loves you." "But men lie." "You sound like my mother." Ada grimaces. "Don't say something that horrible." she then says with a slight laugh. "Polly says your mother was pretty mean." her tone becomes serious again and this time you sigh. "She practically threw me out of the family." you reply, you want it not to matter to you, but it doesn't. It hit you hard. Ada rubs your back. "She's coming to her senses." she then says. "And besides, now you really are my sister." she tries to cheer you up. "What did I do to deserve this?" "Hey." Ada nudges you lightly in the ribs, not as hard as she used to, but gently. Like you're fragile, even if you're not. But now a little human is growing inside you, and that little human is fragile and weak. You must protect him, whatever the cost. "Everything is going to be alright." you say, more to you and your child than to Ada, but she nods anyway. "Would you like to help me in the kitchen, or do you want to rest?" ask her after you've been silent for a while. "I'm rested, I'm happy to help you."   In the early evening Finn comes home completely dirty, you send him to bathe first and then start to heat up the food with Ada's help. Polly closes the betting shop for the day and then joins Ada and you. "How are you Y/N?" she asks first. "I'm better, I slept a little." Polly nods and smiles at you, then she goes to help Finn and a short time later they are all eating together. But domestic peace does not last long. Your father comes barging into Polly's house. "Y/N!" he yells. "How could you be so irresponsible? Your mother told me everything. You don't really think I'll let you get away with this stupid idea, do you? A gypsy in our family? Never! You're coming home with me right now and tomorrow morning I'll drive you personally to London to see Dr. Conner." Your father is walking towards you, your whole body is rigid with fear, you have never seen your father so angry. Finn jumps up from his chair and stands in your father's way. "No! Y/N stays here with us, she's family." You don't know who told Finn everything, or maybe he's just getting more than you think. "Get out of my way kid, who do you think you are?" "I'm the man of the house! And I take care of the women and the business." he says, he can't help the trembling in his voice, but you're so proud of him that it doesn't matter. Your father looks at Finn confused and angry, the vein in his throat throbbing violently under his skin. "You heard the boy." Polly says, unbeknownst to you and Ada, she has drawn her gun and is now tapping it on the kitchen table. "Get out of my house. Like your wife, you are not welcome back here until you can talk to us in a reasonable and civilized manner about the future. Until then, have a good day, Mr. Y/L/N." To your surprise, your father leaves the house without saying another word. "Eat on children, otherwise the food will get cold." Polly says after a moment and puts the gun back in her skirt pocket. "You did well Finn." The little one is beaming with pride, he has done his job as Arthur told him to do. You and Ada also start picking at your food again, even if you're not hungry you have to eat for your baby. ---   You won't hear a word from your parents for the next few days. You're trying to get into a normal daily routine. You go to nursing school, do the shopping and take care of Finn with Ada, even if you realize that it all costs you more energy than before and you often sleep a few hours before eating. It takes you over a week to sit down and write a letter to John.   My dear John,   I hope you're doing well, I hope you're all doing well. I miss you so terribly. But I also have news. Good news I think, at least that's what Polly says all the time. I wish I could look you in the eye and deliver this message to you personally, but unfortunately I can't. I'm pregnant, we're going to have a little baby. I don't know if you're happy or not, I hope you are. I hope it's good news for you too. My parents are very angry, not only because of the pregnancy, but also because they know about us now. About us and our engagement. Father was very angry, I think he would have liked to get on the next train to go to France to put a bullet in your head. I hope he comes to terms with the new situation. Mom wanted me to have an abortion, but I want to have this child even though we're not married yet. I'm staying with Polly now. It's okay, although I'm saddened by my parents' reaction. But everything will be fine. Once you're home everything will be fine. I know that! I just hope you'll be with me again soon. I can't wait to see you again.   We're waiting for you at home.   Love Y/N     Polly will make sure the letter gets to the post office the same day. You're nervous about John's answer, but deep in your heart you know that everything will be fine.   ---   The next few weeks go by far too quickly, your belly is growing all the time and it's becoming difficult to hide it under loose clothing. On a Tuesday afternoon, after your class, the director of the school comes up to you. "Miss Y/L/N." you startle, but you smile. "How can I help you sir?" his stern gaze doesn't soften for a second, he first looks at you, then his gaze goes to your stomach and then to your finger, on which the engagement ring is stretched but no wedding ring yet. In that second you know he knows and you swallow the lump in your throat. "Your tuition has not been paid so I have spoken to your father and he has clarified your situation to me. I hereby inform you that you are no longer welcome at my school. Have a nice day." with that he turns away and leaves you standing. You feel tears welling up in your eyes, but you swallow them and turn to leave. You just want to get out of here. Emily slips past you, when she sees your face she stops. "Y/N, what happened?" ask her worried. "Nothing." you say, but your voice trembles way too much. Emily doesn't believe you. She grabs your hand. "You're lying, tell me what's going on." her voice is soft, but you still shake your head. "Believe me, you don't want to be seen with me." you say, break free and just run away. As you enter Polly's house, you finally let the tears roll down your cheeks. Ada looks at you, startled. "What happened? Is something wrong? Is something wrong with the baby?" she asks immediately. "The baby is fine." you say quickly to calm her down. You didn't want to scare her. "I was kicked out of school. My father stopped paying and told the principal everything. Of course they don't want unmarried pregnant women at their school." Ada hugs you. "What assholes." "Don't curse in front of the baby." you say softly which makes Ada giggle. "I try it." You wipe the tears from your face and try a smile. "It's not that bad, I never wanted to be a nurse anyway." you say and carefully stroke your growing belly with one hand. Even if you never wanted to become a nurse, you enjoyed the training and it was a nice feeling to have something of your own, to be able to learn. But because of your pregnancy, that's being taken away from you now. It's unfair, the whole world is unfair. But then you have to think about the little baby growing inside you and you know it's worth all this trouble. You would go through hell for your little baby and it's not even born yet. "Letters have come from France." says Ada suddenly. "Why don't you say that directly?" you say, all sadness and anger is suddenly forgotten. "I thought it was something with the baby." Ada takes a letter and holds it out to you. You immediately recognize John's handwriting and rip the letter out of Ada's hand, but when you try to open it your hands are shaking too much. "What if he wants an abortion." you say in a toneless voice. "We're still so young, and don't get married either." Adam sighs. "I don't think so. But you have to read the letter for it. I can stay here and hold your hand if you want." You nod and sit down next to Ada on the small sofa. Her warm hand encloses yours and you carefully open the letter.   My beloved wife,   I know this is a difficult time for you, but nothing in my life has ever made me happier than reading that you are pregnant. I don't care that your parents hate me, but I'm sorry you're suffering. I wish I could do something. Maybe your parents will forgive us once we're married, after all we're family then. I miss you so much my princess. I just think about you and our little baby all the time. When I come home we'll get married and I'll buy a house and we'll be a real little family. Just that thought makes me happier than I've ever been in my life. You're my reason to stay alive and come home and now you've given me another reason, I swear I'm coming home to you and our baby. I'll be back before the baby comes and I'll hold your hand during the birth, I promise.   I love you. your husband John     His words lighten your heart and are all that keeps you going for the next few months. You can no longer hide your stomach under baggy clothes and you notice people's looks. They look at you like an outcast, some even shouting snide remarks after you. You try to ignore it, but you find it difficult. You write a letter to your mother asking her to come visit you. But she doesn't answer you. Ada tries to cheer you up all the time, but she doesn't succeed. You're sitting in the living room with Finn, practicing reading with him, when there's a knock and Emily enters. "Hello Y/N. I hope it's okay that I visit you." You nod, surprised that she is coming to visit you, but she sits down next to you and smiles kindly. "Everybody talks at school. They say you got pregnant and now the Shelbys are forcing you to have the baby. Some also say that Polly put a gypsy curse on your family." she says calmly. "I'm sorry." You don't know what to say and just nod. "How are you? What does the doctor say? Is the child healthy?" "I'm fine. I miss John and yes the baby is fine. The doctor says he's a bit big for his age so it's probably going to be a boy but Polly swears it's going to be a girl. I am it doesn't matter, I just want the baby to be healthy and for John to come home." "Would you like to go into town a little, maybe for some tea? I invite you." Emily still looks at you kindly and you nod. Distraction would certainly do you good. So the two of you hit the road and spend a relaxing time together, Emily shielding you from most looks, she doesn't seem to care that you're pregnant and unmarried. She seems like a really good friend. "I often get letters from my brother, he says it's terrible in France. He says war makes frightened children out of the best men. He says soldiers are dying like flies in summer." You set the tea aside, sickened at the thought that John might die. Emily catches your gaze. "Oh my god Y/N! I'm so sorry I wasn't thinking. Isn't John writing you?" "Yes, often. Just not about the war. He writes that he misses me and that he loves me. And he writes that he is happy about our child." you answer. Emily nods. "I didn't mean to make you sad. John is in a different unit, so maybe it's not so bad for him." "Yes, perhaps." you answer and try to find your good mood again. It's late when Emily escorts you home, the sun has set and the streets are dark ahead of you. Suddenly you hear a whistling from the side and three drunk men come towards you. Not again! Somehow Emily and you attract bad luck. "Nah sweethearts. Why so late on the road?" says a man, but you ignore him and walk on. But of course the men stand in your way. "Come on honey, I can see you're just a stupid whore. After all, you got yourself pregnant and that without a husband." his cold hand grabs your arm and you try to pull away. "Leave her alone." Emily intervenes, but she is held by another man. You panic, but you try to stay calm. Suddenly a loud bang cuts through the evening silence. You jump, startled, and only when the man collapses in front of you do you realize that the bang was a shot. The other men stare in horror at their friend, who is bleeding on the floor. "Nobody touch this woman! By order of the Peaky Blinders." Jeremiah Jesus is standing across the street, stowing his gun. He'd been in France for the last year, you know that. You didn't know he came back already and you didn't know he was in the Peaky Blinders. "Go home now." he says to you and Emily. You nod and then start walking. The shock is still deep, Jeremiah had just shot a man for you, on the orders of the Peaky Pictures. By order of John. Your whole body is shaking when you and Emily come home. "So much excitement is not good for the baby." Emily keeps saying, you can see from her pale face and her trembling hands that the whole situation upset her too. "Let's never talk about this again." you say in a cold voice and stroke your stomach. You are safe now, John saved you. That's the only thing you want to think about right now.   ---   John's next letter contains not only declarations of love and promises that he will be back soon, but also a list of children's names. You read through this list a hundred times and talk to Ada about which name she likes. "You don't have to worry about boy names. It's going to be a girl." says Polly with a slight smile on her face. "But the doctors say it will be a boy." or so you say. "The doctors are wrong my child." Polly strokes your hair once and then makes her way back to the kitchen. Finn runs into the living room and jumps on Ada's lap. "What are you doing?" he asks. "We're thinking of a name for your nephew or nephew." "For John and Y/N Baby?" "Right." you say. "I'm looking forward to the baby." Finn says. You kiss his head. "I'm looking forward to the baby too." you say and smile at the little boy. "Would you like to read us something?" asks Ada. Finn thinks for a moment. "I can't read very well yet." "That's not true. You read great, please." "OK." Finn jumps up and gets one of his exercise books. He really can't read very well, but it's Ada's and your job to boost his confidence and support him. You lean back on the small sofa while Finn reads, stuttering. You're incredibly tired again, but you're trying to stay awake. There is an incredible stillness in this moment and you look forward to your future life as Shelby. With John by your side and your little baby. He'll be home soon and he promised to hold your hand when your baby is born.   ---   John didn't keep his promise. When your water bursts you are alone with Ada and Polly, the men are still far away in France. You've never been in pain like this, the birth drags on for hours and you curse John for doing this to you and for not being here now. At the same time, you want nothing more than to hold his hand. But he's not with you, so you hold Ada's hand and cry with her. But when you hold the little bundle in your arms, everything is forgotten. There's nothing more important than your little girl and that she's okay. "She looks healthy and strong." says Polly. "You did well dear. I'm proud of you." You want to write John a letter right away, but you're too weak, you can't even sit properly by yourself. Besides, you'd have to let your daughter out of your arms and that's the last thing you want. "I can write him a letter." Polly says and you nod. "Please hurry, it's supposed to be out in the mail today. John must know we're fine." Polly nods with a smile and brushes a strand of sweaty hair away from your face. "I will write immediately." she says in a soft voice. "Sleep a little now, the birth was exhausting for you." "But.." "No but Y/N. Your daughter is sleeping anyway, and Ada can watch out for that." "I will not leave your side." Ada says, sitting next to you on the edge of the bed. "I'll take care of you and the little one." "Her name is Katie." you say in a low voice. You try hard not to fall asleep, even if your eyes keep falling. "That's a beautiful name." says Ada. "Sleep now Y/N. It's all good." Ada says soothing words and it doesn't take long for you to fall asleep.   You always thought John was the love of your life and nothing could replace him in your heart. But the second you looked into your daughter's eyes for the first time, you knew that John would be number two in your heart. You have never felt such unconditional love. Polly and the doctors say your little girl is doing well. And you couldn't be prouder of her. Your new favourite activity is watching Katie all day long.   Finn never leaves your side, he loves his nephew and takes care of her as best he can. Even though Katie takes up all of your attention and time, you try to take care of Finn as much as possible. You don't want him to feel replaced by Katie and get jealous of the little girl.   It takes about two weeks for John's reply to come from France.   My beloved wife, I'm begging you, never let Polly write a letter for you again. When I saw her handwriting and not yours, my heart almost stopped, I thought I lost you. Please don't ever do this to me again. But nothing in my life has made me happier than to read that our little girl is born. I'm sorry I couldn't be with you. I know I promised, but the war is still going on and unfortunately there is no end in sight. I never thought I'd be gone for so long. I'm sorry. I hope that I can come home soon. I miss you and our little girl even though I haven't met her yet. I'm also supposed to give you congratulations from Tommy and Arthur. They are also looking forward to getting to know our little girl soon. I hope you are doing well and you are happy.   I love you and Katie. Please tell her every day that her father loves her.   John   ---   One afternoon, you've just laid Katie down, there's a knock on the door. Polly is in the shop and Ada is shopping, so you answer the door. Your mother is in front of you. "Mom?" you ask surprised and let her into the little house. "Hello my child." says your mother, she looks around the little house a little bit, she seems out of place but she smiles at you. You don't know exactly what she wants from you. "I heard you had your baby." she says. "Yes. A girl, her name is Katie." you say. Your mother smiles and her eyes gather tears. "May I meet her?" "She sleeps." you answer. You feel the need to hug your mother and cry. But you're still angry anyway. You needed her and she wasn't there. "Y/N. My dear child. I'm so sorry. I know I reacted wrongly. I was just so angry that you didn't listen to me and kept your relationship with that Shelby boy a secret from me. And then the pregnancy, without marriage." "I know I shouldn't have kept it a secret from you. But I didn't know what else to do. Mom, I love John and he loves me. You and Dad would never have accepted the relationship and sent me away." Your mother sighs. "I understand you. It took time but I understand you now. And when I heard your baby was here my only thought was that I missed the birth and how sorry I was that I wasn't there for you. I know you needed me. I can never make it up to you. But please Y/N. I want to be a part of your life again and I want to be a part of my grandchild's life too." "Her name is Katie." "A beautiful name." You sigh and then you jump over your shadow and hug your mother. All your feelings are boiling over, the strain with Katie, the heartbreak for John, that he miss the first year of his daughters life and missing your mother. You don't want to be mad at her. You love her. "I like to watch Katie sleep. Would you like to sit with me?" "Of course. Thank you." You quietly go up the narrow staircase to John's room, which is now more yours and Katie's room. Your mother quietly enters the room behind you, her eyes immediately go to the small cot. Your little girl is sleeping peacefully. Tears come to your mother's eyes when she sees Katie for the first time. "She is beautiful." she whispers and grabs your hand. "She looks like you when you were little. Only the nose is different." "She has John's eyes too." you answer quietly. You spent hours looking at Katie, looking for similarities to you and John. You sit on the edge of the bed, your mother stands by the cot and looks down at the baby. There is only love in her eyes and you are so relieved that your mother has forgiven you. But you also know your father didn't. Otherwise he would be here and your mother wouldn't have come during his working hours. You know she's here secretly without her saying it. You don't know how much time has passed, but you hear Polly downstairs in the kitchen. She now closes the betting shop for a few hours in the afternoon. Enough customers only come in the evening, so that it wouldn’t be worthwhile to open the Shop the whole day. Katie slowly starts to wake up and cry. She is hungry. Immediately you are at her bed and pick her up. "I have to feed her." you say, your mother looks at you and you can see in her eyes that she is proud of you. "I have to apologize to Ms Shelby." your mother whispers, turning away from you and Katie. you nod "She's downstairs." Your mother takes a deep breath and then leaves the small room. You'd love to be part of the conversation, but priority is now on Katie. With her in your arms you sit down on the old bed and start breastfeeding her. When Katie is full, you wrap her diaper and then go down the stairs with her in your arms. In the kitchen, Polly and your mother are having a cup of tea and seem to be talking peacefully. When you enter the room, they both look up. A smile appears on Polly's face as always when she sees Katie. She stretches out her arms and you put the little girl in her arms. She immediately starts babbling happily as she lies in Polly's arms. Your mother looks at Polly with a sad smile, you know she would love to hold Katie too, but to Katie she is a stranger and you are not sure how your baby will react. "Your mother apologized to me." Polly says to you as you pour yourself a cup of tea. "She is now welcome back in our house." You're relieved to hear that. "Thank you Aunt Polly." then you turned to your mother. "Father doesn't know you're here right?" "I'm sorry. He's still mad, he says he doesn't have a daughter anymore." Actually, you would have thought that you would start crying now, but all you do is nod and pet your daughter's head. It's his bad luck if he doesn't want to meet your little miracle. "Would you like to hold her?" Your mother's eyes well up again. "Yes of course." You nod and Polly carefully hands Katie to your mother. Katie looks at your mother skeptically. "This is my mom. Your grandma." you whisper and kiss her head. Katie grabs your mother's finger and holds it tight. Now tears are running down your mother's cheeks. "Hi Katie. Nice to meet you. I'm sorry it took so long." she whispers. From that day on, your mother will come to Watery Lane at least once a week, bringing something with her each time. Dresses, hats and toys for Katie, coats for you, Ada and Polly. Even books for Finn. Sometimes she slips a little money in your skirt pocket. "We don't need the money." you say, even if it's a lie. "I know, but I want to support you. Please let me do that for you." When your mother is with you, she never mentions your father, but you've come to terms with the fact that your father will hate you forever. For the so-called mistake you made, but you wouldn't give up on Katie for the world, she's not a mistake, she's the greatest happiness of your life. The only thing missing from your life now is John.   Katie starts crawling without meeting her father. Katie starts walking without knowing her father. Katie stutters her first words, she says “Mama”. And even if at this moment your heart is overflowing with happiness and love, you would like to start crying because John is not here to hear her first word.   ---   Autumn is slowly coming to an end and it is getting colder and colder. You wrap yourself in your coat while you carry the groceries home. A cold wind whistles around your ears and you are glad when you finally step into the warm house. Finn and Katie run towards you immediately. "Y/N, Katie is stealing my toys." says Finn and clings to your legs. You place the heavy basket of groceries on the table and bend down to the ten-year-old. He has long been too heavy for you to pick him up. "Ada says I can." says Katie, you brush her blond curls away from her face. "Share the toys." you suggest. "I don't want to share with her though, she's still a baby." says Finn. You sigh "You're right Finn. But if a baby wants to play with your toys, doesn't that mean you're too old for them?" you ask and tilt your head. Finn thinks for a moment. "You're right, I'm too old for toys like that." he says and hands Katie the carved wooden horse. "These are toys for babies." Katie doesn't care, she grabs the horse and hugs it to her chest like it's her greatest treasure, she knows the little wooden horse used to belong to her father. Suddenly the door behind you flies open and Ada storms into the kitchen. The newspaper in her hand. "The war is over. They're coming home." Tears run down her cheeks and she laughs with joy. "They're finally coming home."
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punkybrewstertoo · 5 months
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A Mind to Tear a Soul in Two: Chapter Three
Walking into Charlotte’s room, Tommy was unprepared for the sight in front of him. It looked like a bomb had gone off. Looking around there was furniture, glass, blood, and books strewn about. Taking in the mess, the people, and the cacophony of voices, it was all too much.
“...I swear to God if you come at me...”
“...Just hold still...”
“...I’ll sit on you if you don’t stop it...”
“...He’s bringing the whisky...”
“...Get your fucking hands off of me...”
“...It’s got to come out...”
“...Watch the shoulder...”
“...I will cram this rag down your throat...”
“...Calm down...”
“...Strangle you in your sleep...”
“Enough!! Shut up, all of you! Shut up!” The room went quiet as the words left his mouth, all four faces in the room noticing him standing there for the first time. Each family member froze in place like a photograph.
Polly was standing near the window, fingers pinching the bridge of her nose, clearly trying to stave off a headache. Charlotte lay on the floor, John straddling her, arms pinned above her head. Esme had a towel in one hand, his sister’s leg in the other, kneeling in a small pool of blood.
“Jesus fucking Christ. What is happening here?” As John, Polly, Esme, and Charlotte all started to speak at the same time, he raised his voice again to be heard over their squabbling, “Esme! Only Esme, answer my question.” Charlotte took a breath and started to speak.
“Did I say ‘Charlotte answer my question’? No. I said ‘Esme’. Shut your mouth, Charlie. Esme, please, go on. Nobody will interrupt you.” Waving his arm in a theatrical gesture he urged her to speak.
“Right. Well, obviously she fell and managed to knock over a few things–”
Attempting to interrupt Charlotte started, “But it was–”
Glaring down at her, Tommy cut her off, “I clearly remember telling you to shut it not ten seconds ago.”
Glaring back at him she kept her mouth closed and allowed Esme to continue. “Now, as you probably heard, Arthur was able to put her shoulder back into place, so that’s good and done. But there’s this piece of glass here. I’ve got to remove it, but she won’t stop moving so it keeps bleeding and the cut is getting worse. It’s not too bad, it’ll only need a few stitches. But it will need stitches. There’s a cut on the top of her head, but it doesn’t look too serious.” Taking a breath she looked around the room, “And other than the mess, I think that’s it.”
Nodding at her assessment Tommy asked, “What do you need from us?” Taking a second Esme thought to herself before speaking, “I need a knife or scissors to cut this fabric away from her leg. I need some cocaine mixed with a bit of water, to create a paste to numb the cut for stitches. I need that whisky your holding. And honestly, this would all be easier if we weren't all on the floor.” As an afterthought, she added, “And if Charlotte would sit still.”
Nodding at her instructions, Tommy ordered, “John, why are you sitting on her like that? Get offa her, and help her sit up. She’s not some pig that needs wrangling.”
Scoffing John tried to explain the situation, “She won’t sit still and let Esme work. Keeps trying to go after Arthur.”
Pointing a finger at her to get the girl’s attention, Tommy told her, “Charlie, stop thrashing around like a child. Besides, Arthur’s long gone.” Leaning down he handed a bottle of whisky to Charlotte, before passing the other to Esme, “Take this and start drinking.”
Taking the bottle of whisky from him, Charlotte looked unsure. “You’re gonna wanna start drinking that now.”
Brining the bottle to her mouth and taking a drink, Charlotte winced as the burn hit her throat, “This stuff is shit.” She complained looking up at him.
“The point is to get you drunk off you ass. Not to enjoy it. I’m not pulling out the good stuff to get my sister toasted. Now keep drinking.” Looking to the other occupants in the room he continued on, “Polly, you got scissors in that sewing box there? John, help me get her up and on the bed. Esme, you wanna get that chunk out of her leg before or after we move her?”
Looking up at him from her position on the floor Esme replied, “I need to get it out before you move her. But you gotta be careful of her shoulder — we’ll need a sling for that too. And I don’t think you’ll want her on the bed. Too much blood. The downstairs table would be better.”
Grinning at his sister John said, “Looks like you’re breaking free one way or another.” Grimacing as she continued to take big gulps of the whisky Charlotte questioned, “Esme, is there any way to shut him up? His voice is giving me a headache.”
Smiling at Charlotte, Esme pushed her husband out of the way and got back to business. “Can we do this now? When I take this out, I’ll wrap this towel around it to stop the bleeding. Then one of you needs to pick her up and carry her down to the table.”
Taking the scissors and cutting open Charlotte’s trouser leg, Esme instructed Charlotte to lay down and hold still. “Alright, here we go.” Pressing down in Charlotte’s leg with one hand, she yanked the shard of ceramic out with her other. Then, almost too quickly for anyone to notice, Esme took the second bottle of whisky and poured it over Charlotte’s leg.
Charlotte let out a coughing sob and her body spasmed upward, a silent scream leaving her mouth, unable to do much of anything else due to the combination of pain and liquor.
Reaching forward, Esme tied up the gash with a towel and gestured for Tommy to pick up his sister. “Sorry about that, Charlie. I had to make sure it was cleaned. But it’s done now, so let’s get you up and downstairs so we can finish this.” Sitting up in a daze, Charlotte brought the bottle to her lips once more, chugging to numb the pain.
Kneeling by his sister, Tommy announced, “That is probably enough of that.” And taking the bottle from her hand he realised that she’d managed to consume three fourths of the bottle, and she’d done so in about five minutes time. He had no doubt that by the time Esme started to stitch her up with a needle, she’d be three sheets to the wind.
Passing the bottle off to Polly, Tommy reached under and picked up his sister. One arm under her knees and the other at her back in a bridal style, he tried not to put too much pressure on the open wound. Holding his sister in his arms he instructed his brother, “John, check the smallest drawer at my desk. You’ll see what Esme needs in there.”
“What is it?”
“Just look, you’ll see what I’m talking about.”
John nodded and left. Tommy followed, walking out of the room and toward the stairs, when he realised that Charlotte was shaking in his arms. “You ok there, Charlie?”
Pressing her face into his chest she shook her head.
“I don’t wanna do this. It doesn’t feel like I need stitches. I can tell. Don’t make me do this.”
Tommy tried to comfort her, “Don’t worry, Charlie, you’re not gonna feel a thing. That whisky you drank will make you numb through and through. Just give it another five minutes you’ll be so gone you won’t remember any of this in the morning.”
Setting her on the table Charlotte looked up at him, “That’s what Arthur said... He said not to worry that it wasn’t gonna hurt. And then it did hurt. It hurt a lot.”
“Do I lie to you Charlie? Have I ever lied to you?”
Staring at him blankly she replied, “You told me that the war would be over by Christmas.”
It was like a sucker punch to the gut. She knocked the wind outta him with just her words. As Esme and Polly rushed around them in the kitchen, Tommy tried to find an explanation for his sister.
“I know I said that– It’s just– I didn’t– We thought–” Not knowing how to respond, he found himself rambling.
Taking a breath he pushed on, “I know I said that, Charlie. I’m sorry. I’m sorry that I told you that.”
Leaning in to her, he kissed the top of her head.
Rushing down the stairs John interrupted, holding out a vial of cocaine in his hand. “Here ya go, Tom.”
Smacking his hand away Tommy demand, “Do I look like I need that? Give it to your wife.”
Noticing the small blue vial in her brother’s hands Charlotte asked, “Is that snow? Why’d you got snow, Tom?”
Trying to hold her alcohol riddled brain together Charlotte knew there was something about cocaine that she was suppose to tell Tommy. Or was it something she wasn’t suppose to tell him about? Damn it. She couldn’t remember. Thinking hard she barely heard Tommy’s response, telling her to mind her own business.
Finally getting the numbing paste finished up, Esme instructed Charlotte, “You go ahead and lie down now Charlie. I just need you to lie flat ok? I’m going to put this paste on your leg and let it sit for a couple of minutes. You hear me?”
Closing her eyes and laying back on the table, Charlotte responded to her sister-in-law, “I hear ya. Lay still. I’m on it. I’m laying. And I’m very still.”
She paused for a minute and then started up talking again, “Where'd you learn to be so smart, Esme? How’d you know doctoring? You got everyone, even Tommy, following your orders. That’s how I know you’re smart.”
“Oh, here we go.” John muttered under his breath, knowing that the whisky was starting to take over both Charlotte’s brain and mouth.
Taking a breath, Charlotte didn’t give Esme a chance to answer her questions before rattling on, “You know Ada, right? Our sister. You remember her? She couldn’t sit still through one single nursing class before she got bored. Ran out with her friends to do... I don’t know... Whatever it is she does when she’s not in bed with Freddie.”
John and Polly laughed as Tommy tried to get his sister to shut up, “Alright, I think that’s probably enough talk about Freddie and Ada. Completely ignoring him as if he hadn’t said a word, she went on, “Oh, boy, Ada’s gonna be mad at you all... She’s gonna be real mad.”
Nearly bursting with joy, laughing at his sister’s drunken ramblings John asked, “Why’s that, Lottie? What’s happening that she’s got to be mad over?”
Smacking his head, yet wearing a grin across her face, Polly attempted to admonished him, “Don’t you encourage her.”
Explaining herself, Charlotte started in, “Well, first you cut up the new trousers she got me. Then you go handing me an entire bottle to drink. She’s gonna feel left out. I know she will. Ada likes to be part of things. She misses us, I can tell. Can’t you tell, Tom? She misses you. I know you’re serious businessman, Mr. Tommy Shelby. But I can tell you miss her too. You probably miss her more than–”
Once again interrupting her ramblings, Tommy started in, “Alright Charlie. I think that’s enough. Why don’t you just relax. Huh?”
Stubborn indigence filled her voice, “Yeah, alright. But I want a story. Like before the war. Tell me a story, Tommy. Tell me one I haven’t heard before.”
Joining in with a sing song tone John added, “Oh yes, Tommy! Tell us a story!”
Completely unaware of John’s joke Charlotte continued, “Tell me a story about Mom. It’ll be ok, because I won’t remember. So you can’t be sad.”
Laughing John added, “It’s hard to argue with that logic. Just give us a bloody story, Tom. Don’t deny the poor girl her last wish. Look at her, lying there, dying, half naked–”
“I’m not naked, stupid! It’s only me leg. You’ve seen a leg before, haven’t you?”
Indignant at her name calling, John asked his sister, “Who you calling stupid?”
As Tommy threw a bloody towel across the room to shut his brother up, Esme’s voice rang out, “Alright, I think the wound is sufficiently numb. Why don’t you boys clear out. We don’t need an audience for this.”
Reaching over and clinging to Tommy, Charlotte started to panic, “No, no, no, no. I need you to stay, everyone else can go. I need a story.”
Relieved for an excuse to avoid telling a story to his sister with an audience, Tommy tried to calm her, “You heard the nurse, Charlie. John and I are just going into the shop to get some work done. You’ll be fine here. You got Aunt Pol to take care of ya.”
Still clutching his arm she tried to whisper to him, “But Pol is fucking awful at stories.” As her “whisper” reached the ears of everyone in the kitchen Polly snorted.
Laughing as she waved for him to sit, she went into the shop with John. Closing one of the doors she told them, “She’s not wrong. I’m shit for stories. You stay with her, Thomas.”
Watching their aunt walk away, Esme got down to business. Sterilising the needle and thread Esme eyed him before speaking to Charlotte, “Alright, Charlie, I’m gonna start now. Just try to lie there. Alright?”
Nodding at her orders, Charlotte turned her head away from Esme and the sewing needle.
As the needle entered her flesh Charlotte gasped, her eyes went wide, and tears brimmed their edges.
Giving in to his sisters demands, Tommy asked, “Has anyone ever told you about the time Arthur stole a pie to give to the new school teacher?”
Without waiting for her response he continued on to tell the tale of the oldest Shelby brother’s attempts to woo the pretty young school teacher. “Obviously Arthur didn’t have the brains to impress her with his intelligence, so he decided to knock her stockings off with a homemade pie. Only problem was, Mom had made the pie to take to the minister’s house that Sunday. With the beating she gave him once he confessed, you woulda thought that Arthur had damned all our souls to hell — all over one little pie. Worst part was, that teacher didn’t even last the year. At some point she found out she was up the duff, and left Birmingham to live with her family in the country.”
“Poor Arthur.”
“Poor Arthur, my ass. Don’t ever feel sorry for that man. He deserves everything that ever came to him.”
At this, Esme cleared her throat and announced, “Alright you two, my work here is done.” Snipping off the thread used for stitching she told them, “I’ll come by later this evening with bandages and salve. You’ll need to keep that covered for about a week. I’ll check in every now and then to make sure it’s healing good. Don’t go climbing or running around, it’ll rip the stitches, and we’ll have to do this all over again.”
Thanking his sister-in-law for everything, Tommy readied to scoop up Charlotte to take her back upstairs. “You ready to go back to your room, jailbird?”
Barely able to open her eyes she nodded at him. Pale and sweaty, she was clearly strung out on blood loss, pain, and alcohol. This girl was ready to sleep it all off.
Carrying her back up the stairs and settling her into bed Tommy gave her strict instructions to stay put. No more cleaning, and if she needed anything, just to give a shout. He tried to keep his orders simple enough that she’d remember once the alcohol wore off.
Agreeing to his commands she rolled over and mumbled something into her pillow.
“What’s that? You talking to me or the pillow?”
Turning her head she drew out her words as if she were speaking to a child, “I said, Do. You. Wanna. Hear. Something?”
“Sure, make it quick. What do you got to say?” Looking to the folding clock on her table he could see that the day was getting on, and he still had work to take care of.
Removing her face from where she’d planted it in her pillow, she sat up and looked around the floor. “You see a blue book around here? Not for reading. A writing book — like from school.” Looking under the bed Tommy grabbed the book in question and handed it to her.
Flipping through the pages looking for something particular she told him, “I’ve wanted to share this for awhile. But now seems like a good time.”
Curiously watching her he asked, “Oh yeah? Why’s that?”
“Because you shared something with me. So I’ll share something with you.” Nodding as if to finalise her statement she continued, “But you gotta close your eyes. I can’t do it with you watching. So just close your eyes, alright?”
“Sure, but what are you on about?”
Exasperated she demanded, “Just close them!”
Closing his eyes he tried to be patient as he heard pages rustling and she cleared her throat.
“Ok, now keep ‘em closed. And remember it’s better when there’s instruments. But don’t say anything.”
Ever so quietly she started singing, her alto voice breathy but strong.
“Oh, the desert dreams of a river
That will run down to the sea
Like my heart longs for an ocean
To wash down over me.”
“Oh, won't you take me from this valley
To that mountain high above?
Oh I will pray, pray, pray
Until I see your smiling face.
I will pray
To the one I love.”
Opening his eyes as she sang, her voice gained strength and volume. Hey eyes were closed, the book laying open in her lap, words scribbled across it’s pages. Smiling while she continued her song she seemed to be strumming the air as if she were playing a guitar.
Given that not a single person in the Shelby home had ever played, let alone owned a guitar, he thought it seemed unlikely that Charlotte had picked up the instrument somewhere along the way. Pushing his thoughts aside he sat back and continued to watch and listen.
“Oh, the outcast dreams of acceptance,
Just to find pure love's embrace
Like an orphan longs for his mother.
May you hold me in your grace.”
“Won't you take me from this valley
To that mountain high above?
Oh I will pray, pray, pray
Until I see your smiling face.
I will pray
To the one I love.”
“Won't you take me from this valley
To that mountain high above?
Oh I will pray, pray, pray
Until I see your smiling face.
I will pray
To the one I love.”
As she finished the song she opened her eyes, startled to see him staring back at her. “You were suppose to keep your eyes closed.”
Apologising he told her, “I’m sorry — I'm no good at following orders. But that was really nice Charlie, where’d you hear that?”
Shaking her head at him, she looked down, flipping through the pages of her school book. “I didn’t hear it anywhere. It’s mine. I made it. Well, Johnny helped me. But it’s mostly mine.”
Confused, Tommy asked, “You and John are singing music together?” John wasn’t one for singing, he sure as hell couldn’t picture the two siblings writing a song together.
Interrupting his thoughts Charlotte drawled, “Johnny. John. NEE. Johnny. Not John. Don’t be daft. John Shelby couldn’t hold a musical note if his life depended on it.”
Still not quite understanding what his sister was telling him, Tommy tried to get more information out of her. “Johnny Dogs? You two are writing music together? When?”
Tossing her book to the ground she laid down, pulled up her quilt, and closed her eyes. “You’d be surprised at the things I do when you’re not paying attention.”
“I’m sure I would be. Would you care to elaborate?”
“No.”
Trying to keep an even tone, he told her, “How about you try, or I’ll go hunt down Dogs meself and cut the story outta him.”
Still not opening her eyes she responded, “No. Sorry. Can’t. Dogs says it’s our secret. The whole thing is. You can’t be part of it. You and Arthur and John, you always get into everything. This is mine. Only for me. And it’s my secret.”
“Charlotte...”
“Won’t you leave me be now? You got me all drunk, stuck sewing needles in me, and now me head is fuzzy and sleepy.”
Well, the drunk girl in front of him did have a point. With nearly an entire bottle of whisky pumping through her, the story she was telling him could easily be equally as true as is was a fabrication of her imagination.
“Alright, I’ll leave you be. But you’re gonna have to tell me the truth sometime.”
Growling at him, he could practically hear her eyes rolling. “Jesus, you’re demanding. You know Ada says you weren’t like this before.”
Stand up to take his leave Tommy told her, “You and I both know Ada says a lot of things, most of them rubbish.”
Finally opening her eyes she glared up at him, “Sometimes I don’t wanna be one of you. It’s hard ya know? Being a Shelby. Ada had the right idea — don’t be one of us anymore. She’s lucky. And I’m stuck here with you lot.”
Not willing to have any kind of argument with a drunk child, Tommy told her, “Maybe you’re right. Maybe Ada is the lucky one. But unfortunately for you, you’re stuck here with us until I say so. And I’ll promise you this, you’ll not be getting married any time soon, princess.”
Leaving the room he could hear her question softly, “But, did you like it? My song...”
“Of course I did. It was beautiful, both the song and your voice. Now please, Charlie, go to sleep.”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=btcGAAahSTs
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Text
afternoon shelby chaos
pairing: tommy shelby x reader
warning: mild swearing
summary: you don't feel well, so tommy looks after the children
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"Alright, what are the rules?". Tommy asked, looking up and down the line from youngest to oldest - Florence (6), Theo (11), Charlie (12) and Ava (15) - all stood in the foyer, called upon to a family meeting to sort out how the day was going to go.
Theo shot his hand sky high, proudly reciting. "No running. No making loud noises. And no bothering Mama while she rests".
"That's right. If we play inside, it's quiet playing. Mama isn't feeling well”. Another hand rose. "Yes, Florence?".
"Is she going to be okay?".
"She will be fine, Flo. All she needs is rest".
Florence breathed a sigh of relief, clutching her giraffe for comfort. Beside her Theo patted her shoulder, providing some additional brotherly comfort, which Florence happily took.
"Can we go play now?". Charlie asked.
Tommy nodded, his eyes trained on Ava, whose interest had been elsewhere. She avoided eye contact making her way upstairs. The other three children scattered to the living room. Florence played with her doll house, and the boys opted for drawing to occupy their time. Tommy ventured to his office, having put off sorting through the documents and papers on his desk long enough. By mid-afternoon, the quiet lifted. Voices growing in equal parts frustration and anger. Tommy stormed from his office, Flo and Theo stomping into the foyer.
"What did I say the rules were, eh?". Tommy sternly asked, eyes narrowing in on his two children.
They stood in front of his office door, glancing down at the hardwood floor, replying in unison. "No making loud noises".
"Then why are we yelling?".
Within seconds Theo and Florence began talking over each other, making more noise than their stomping. Tommy put up his hand, and silence immediately followed.
"Flo, you go first".
Her innocent blue eyes peered up at Tommy. She knew how to use them as well as he did. They were Tommy’s kryptonite. Although, he never admitted it. But you knew Flo had him wrapped around her finger.
"Theo hid my giraffe and won't tell me where".
Tommy turned to Theo, knowing how mischievous his son could be. Learning all the tricks and skills from John and Arthur, despite Tommy’s disapproval.
"Where's her giraffe, Theo?".
"I didn't take it!"
"Yes, you did!" Florence shouted back.
"You're being a baby. It's just a stupid toy".
Her eyes watered. To her, Mr Giraffe was precious. Clutched in her tiny hands since birth. Mr Giraffe had gotten her through bad dreams, celebrated every Birthday and survived getting lost in Johnny Dogs camp.
Tommy stepped forward, eyes on Theo. "Tell me where you hid the giraffe, and then apologize to your sister".
"I didn't take it". Theo crossed his arms.
"Alright, then who did?".
"I did". Charlie walked in, holding the giraffe. He handed it back, apologizing to Florence for upsetting her. She happily accepted, kissed Charlie on the cheek and skipped off to her room to take care of Mr Giraffe.
"I'm sorry, dad. I didn't want Charlie to get into trouble".
"I told Theo not to do it. I can handle trouble".
Tommy lightly chuckled. Both Shelby's through and through. "Don't steal your sister’s giraffe ever again, alright?. Either of you. You're supposed to protect her, not make her upset".
"We will. Promise". They each replied.
"Good, lads. Now, go play".
As they quietly ran off, Ava wandered down the stairs, almost making it to the door, but the damn creak of the floor alerted Tommy.
"Where are you going?". He asked, walking towards his eldest.
"To Johnny Dogs camp. Mum said I could go".
"You asked your mother when she's supposed to be resting".
"No, I asked her yesterday".
Tommy sighed, one crisis adverted and within seconds another took its place. "You stay here, alright. Help look after your brothers and sister".
"I have plans, dad. I'm not going to give them up to play babysitter".
"You will do whatever I say. No running off to Johnny Dogs camp".
"That is so unfair!” Ava remarked. “Mum said I could go".
"And now I'm saying you can't. Don't think I don't know why you're sneaking off. That boy you've been fooling around with stops right now, understand?. No more sneaking off to the river. No more fucking late nights".
“I’ll be home by 9″.
"Ava, don't you dare walk out that fucking door!”. He ordered, watching his daughter defy his authority and leave with no regret. “Ava!"
The three younger kids lined up on the first step, watching the scene unfold. Flo spoke first, her soft voice, partly soothing Tommy’s anger. "Daddy, we're not supposed to be making loud noises".
"Forgive me, sweetheart. Daddy's temper got the best of him".
"Where's Ava going?". Theo quizzed, tilting his head to get a better angle on Ava walking across the stone-gravel driveway before the door closed.
"Clearly to suck face with that Rob guy". Charlie responded, nudging his brother. Theo nudged back, sticking out his tongue.
"That's enough, both of you. Off you three go and wash up for dinner".
The boys ran off, betting each other whoever finished last had to take the smaller slice of cake for dessert. Florence smoothed Mr. Giraffe’s fur, curiosity promoting her next question. 
"Daddy? What does suck face mean?"
Picking her up with ease, Tommy tickled her, causing a marvelous sound of giggles to erupt. "Something you're not allowed to do until your 30". She nodded, wrapping her arms around Tommy's neck.
As the children settled into dinner with Frances’ help, Tommy opted for a peaceful cigarette in his office before heading upstairs to check on you.
"How are you feeling, love?".
"Tired. How are the children?".
"They are fine. Eating dinner as we speak". Sinking onto the bed, you carefully moved to massage his shoulders.
"What did Ava do?".
"Left to go to Johnny Dogs camp".
"I told her she could go. Why are you so upset about it?".
He exhaled, rubbing his temple to lessen the afternoon headache. "Our daughter is seeing Johnny's cousin or distant cousin, whatever the fuck he is. And I don't like it alright".
"Tommy, sweetheart. I already have one headache, please don't give me another".
"You're alright with this, eh?".
"With Ava growing up, we kinda have to be. So you better start getting used to the idea of her dating”.
“Not going to happen, love”.
You chuckled, expecting nothing less than over-protective tendencies from Tommy, especially when it came to his children. Laying back down, Tommy’s hand settled on your stomach. "Do you want some more tea?".
You shook your head, having too many cups of tea already. “When are we going to tell them?"
"A few more days".
"Maybe Ava's already figured it out". You pondered, having thought all day about the cause of Ava’s sudden mood shift and rebellious behaviour.
"You think she's acting out because you're pregnant?".
”It's a thought that's crossed my mind. For a while, it was just three of us. Then Charlie came, then Theo and a few years later came Florence. Now, we have another little Shelby on the way. I'm worried that Ava may feel left out, overshadowed".
Tommy thought about it for a moment, adding up Ava’s recent behaviour with the new information you presented. She had been quiet and distant, often keeping to her room, as well as challenging even the most basic rules set out for all the children. Never had Ava been so brazen in behaviour or attitude, not until a few weeks ago.
"Ava was our first born. She'll always matter to me in a different way". He replied, thinking back on the day Ava was brought home. Tommy was a nervous wreck, although, he did not show it. Often when you slept he would stand in the nursery door threshold, watching over Ava.
"I know. Maybe we need to remind her of that".
Hearing Ava's footsteps make their way upstairs, you tapped Tommy’s shoulder. He stood, coming back with a reluctant daughter. Her shoulders relaxed when she saw your reassuring smile that a lecture was not awaiting.
"How was your night, darling?".
Tommy grimaced as he sat back down, you gently placing a hand on his thigh to calm him.
"Fine. Are you feeling any better?"
"A little". You smiled, patting the space beside you. As Ava sat, Tommy gave the two of you some space, leaning on the vanity. "You know that I'm pregnant, don't you?".
"I overheard you telling dad".
"Sweetheart, that was weeks ago. Why didn't you say anything?".
"Why haven't you?".
Your eyes flickered to Tommy, he nodded, encouraging any answer you gave he would support. "We were waiting for the right time. And I know you hate change. And the addition of another sibling is a very big change. But I want you to know, your father and I will always have enough love for you".
"Promise?".
"With all my heart". You replied, beckoning her over for a hug.
Looking from you to Tommy, Ava’s mood began to improve. "You both know whether this baby is a boy or girl, one of us we'll be uneven".
Tommy smiled. "She makes a good point, love".
"Alright, settle down. Let's just wait until this Shelby is born before we start talking about adding another one".
Ava laughed, sharing one more piece of knowledge. "Also, Uncle John and Arthur have placed bets".
"They've done what now?". Tommy straightened, his interest peaking.
"John, Finn, Lizzie and Isaiah have all placed money on a boy. And Ada, Polly, Arthur and Linda have all said it’s a girl. And Aunt Polly is never wrong. She predicted all of us". Kissing you on the cheek, Ava bid each of you a good night.
Once the door closed, Tommy unbuttoned his shirt, sensing your stare and what it meant. "Tomorrow, I will talk to them about the bets".
"Thank you". You placed your hands on your stomach, drifting off in thought. "She's right. Polly’s never been wrong. And Florence isn't going to like that. She hates when your attention isn't on her".
"Sounds like someone else I know". He smirked, kissing your shoulder. Making himself comfortable, Tommy rested most of his weight on his arm. Rubbing in slow circular motions, careful to not upset your stomach. "Another girl, eh. What shall we name her?".
"I think it's your turn to decide. I named Florence".
"No, you named Theo and Ava. I named Florence and Charlie". He confidently remarked.
"Tommy, you did not name our daughter. I remember laying in this very bed, seven months pregnant and telling you I liked the name Florence".
"Alright, alright. It's my turn to name our daughter".
You smiled in between the kiss, resting your hand over his. The task of choosing a name never went smoothly, and this time was going to be no different. "How about we name her together this time".
"Fair enough. We'll even let the kids have a say".
"That is not going to end well".
"They'll want to be involved. There is no harm in letting them write down a name each".
You couldn’t help but laugh a little at his idea, already knowing that Florence’s paper would be blank, Ava’s would have at least three names and the boys would turn it into a contest rather than a helpful suggestion.
Looking over at Tommy, you kissed him again, moving to lay against his chest. "Tommy, after our daughter is born, try to not get me pregnant again".
"I'll try. But I can't make any promises. Especially if my wife can’t keep her hands off me". He smirked, specifically thinking of the memory after Charlie was born. You hadn’t craved Tommy’s touch more, pouting when other matters took his attention from you. In his office, several empty rooms, the bedroom and even under an old oak tree coming home from a party, Tommy couldn’t refuse his wife’s needs. Resulting in another pregnancy which came as no surprise. Nine months later, Theo was born.
“After this, I will be keeping my hands to myself”.
“I believe that’s what you said last time, love. And then we ended up with two more children”. He whispered, pressing his lips to your neck.
"Well, forgive me for liking my husband’s attention".
Tommy chuckled, leaning back against the pillow as you relaxed more in his arms. Both minds swirling with possible baby names.
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padfootdaredmetoo · 2 months
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Can you write something for: "being Tommy's wife"? Please. The girl would have been raised by Polly, who raised and loves her like a daughter. She grew up with the boys, especially Tommy. She witnessed Finn's birth and everything. When he goes to war, he promises to stay with her when he returns. Another, Tommy's brothers have her as a sister so they will defend her as one, Ada and her are best friends and Isaiah had a crush on her as a kid... Kisses, sorry for the long thing, I love your stories, see u later 🩷.
Hey Love,
I am deeply sorry this took a million years to write. Thanks for sending this in and for being so kind. I'm so happy that you enjoy my writing. Hope you like this one <3
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Warnings: Peaky related themes like violence, murder, drunk dads, beatings, suicide, childbirth - and of course kissing and cuteness
You had always been close with the Shelby Family. Your mother died in childbirth leaving you without siblings, something that was easily remedied with the constant chaos of your next-door neighbors. You were often lumped in with them as your father worked constantly. You traded what extra things you had for their company. You weren't rich living on Watery Lane, but you always had extra bread which was kind of like being rich. 
As you got older you started to understand what happened down at the Betting Shop. You remembered Arthur taking Tommy aside and telling him to keep you as far away from there as possible. So he took you down to the cut and you spent most of your time with the horses in Charlie’s yard. 
Those moments were your happiest. Tommy was always around to get into trouble with. One night when your dad had laid a beating on you for ruining a pair of shoes in the stable he’d helped you climb out of your window across the ledge and into his bedroom. He’d fixed your swelling cheek with some ice wrapped in a kitchen towel. 
There was an unspoken easiness between the two of you. John and Arthur were different. John was always teasing you loudly and Arthur was always laughing. Always fun and games until someone was giving you a hard time, then they were all business. 
You’d been there for Finn’s birth. A memory that was both happy and sad. You normally avoided the Shelby parents at all costs. Mrs. Shelby had a dead look in her eyes and she would twirl around the kitchen talking to ghosts, other times she would cry out in the night so loud you could hear her in your own apartment. Mr. Shelby was mean. Not much to him other than that. Finn was special, he was the first baby you ever held. You had to help Polly clean him off and get him sorted when he was born. You remembered sitting down once he had been fed and fallen asleep. You sat down covered in after birth swearing you would never have children. Ever. 
Watching Tommy come into the room and hold his sleeping brother with a look in his eyes, something deep inside you reconsidered. 
Polly was alright, she’d always put bows in your hair and read your tea leaves. Out of all the adults in your life, you had the biggest soft spot for her. She had all the juiciest stories that made you want to go out and start living your own life. 
Something you were just on the cusp of doing before the war started. 
The boys left and you tried not to let it break you. The unmovable safety they had brought you was gone and the city seemed vicious. Tommy wasn't there when your father was drunk… Tommy wasn't there at all. You’d stayed awake all night before he left. Laying there with him talking about everything you wouldn't be able to talk about while he was gone. Well, almost everything. You held his hand and laughed till your ribs hurt at all his jokes about what it would be like and what he would do while he was gone. Anything to keep the truth of it at bay. You wanted to tell him how you felt but you didn’t want him to carry more burdens with him when he left. You promised him that Ada, Finn, and John’s kids wouldn't starve and he’d kissed your cheek and promised he’d come back for you. Those words haunted your every moment.
To avoid your father and the emptiness of missing Tommy you threw yourself into your job as a mid-wife. At the end of the day you would sneak food out of your pantry and bring it over to Polly. She ran a tight ship void of all the things you had enjoyed about her when you were a kid. She was hard on the kids and they were mostly Ada’s responsibility as Polly shouldered the betting shop. There was a balance, most of your money went to the household and Polly was always grateful for your help. Things were fine until they weren't. Young boys who weren't quite yet fighting age had started up gangs and more drugs and conflict swept through the streets of Birmingham. You ended up working while also causing lots of trouble. 
The worst night of it came just before Tommy had come home. You’d killed another stupid idiot pushing his wrapped body into the cut in the middle of the night. It was exhausting, for every life you brought into the world you ended another. A cycle you didn't think you would ever end up in. You knelt by the side of the river letting the rain soak through your clothes. Looking down into the black water you could feel the same pull that took Mrs. Shelby. It was calling out to you softly but you shook your head. You had a lot more fight still left in you. 
______________Tommy’s POV 
Coming home wasn't the relief he thought it would be all those years ago. He came home and you hugged him tightly. While you looked like you were bursting with life he felt like like he was dead on the inside. Your cheeks were flushed and your eyes bright. Your fingernails had a pink tinge to them. He’d hoped it was from your job as a midwife but he knew how bad things had gotten here. He could feel it in the way people looked at you on their walk home from the train station. Settling in was awful. The nightmares that kept him up at night, the sad sense of rejection that was growing around you. But the weight of the business is what was crushing him. He needed you and Polly out of it, he needed to step up as a man should. You especially should have never had to get your hands as dirty as they were. But there you were all those names etched into your soul, and you still looked at him with girlish adoration, as if he wasn't the man who had commended your life. 
Things between him and Polly had never been worse, any move he made she would disagree. You still kept looking at him with your big eyes full of emotions he didn't know how to feel anymore. 
Ada was a few years younger than you but you were both old enough now that it wasn't noticeable. He saw the both of you sitting on the front step watching some men moving furniture out of the house down the street. There were glasses of wine between you and the sun made the flush of your cheeks look so red. Ada mumbled something and waved to Isiah as he passed by and both of you burst into giggles. That’s when he realized if he didn't make good on his promise, you wouldn't be around. Men looked at you with fear, but they also acknowledged the fierce competence and loyalty you have. By the time he got the business up, and then got it legal, you would probably be married off. He hated the sense of panic he felt bubble up in his stomach. Just once he would like to feel something pleasant. 
All day he thought about what to do. They were drinking beer around the table. He was always happy listening to John and Arthur tell jokes. It made him happy that they had managed to keep more of themselves alive than he had himself. 
“Going to head out for the night. I’m on call tomorrow so I can only help around the house.” You looked at Polly who nodded. Your eyes flashed to him for a second before wrapping your wool shawl around your shoulders. 
“I’ll walk you home.” He could feel John and Arthur’s eyes narrow in on him as the silence rolled through the room. 
“You haven't forgotten I only live next door have you?” You smiled at him and gestured for him to come along. He followed you down the stairs and out the front door. Three steps to your front door and you turned to look at him.
“Well, this is me.” You pointed at the door giving him a smile. “I’d invite you in for a drink but my father wouldn't approve.” 
“Walk with me?” He asked and he wished there was more emotion in his tone. You raised your eyebrows and he almost wanted to laugh. 
“A private meeting with Mr.Shelby. Wow.” You linked your arm in his and he could tell that there was hurt under your humor. 
“Things-” His voice trailed off as he lost all the things he had thought about telling you. He wanted to tell you to marry him but that was much to forward you deserved something nice and for it to move at your own pace. 
“Are different” You finished. “You're not you, Polly is pulling her hair out, and your secret-keeping is making it impossible to help with the business.” 
“Precisely.” He said in a cold tone. He wanted to explain but the words were still gone. 
“Well, fix it then.” You said in a short tone. “You came home and made a mess of things, so fix it.” 
“It’s not that easy.” He pulled a cigarette out and offered you one. You nodded and he lit one, taking a drag then watched as you took it from him. Your lips perched where his had been a moment before. His eyes focused on your mouth and he could feel the tension become obvious. 
“I want to make things right between us. I’m just not sure how.” He said the words slowly finally dragging his gaze from your mouth. Your cheeks had flushed again and he fought the urge to stroke your cheek. 
“Thomas. All you have to do is trust me. Then talk to me. We spent our whole lives that way. Only four years were apart.” There was pleading your eyes and he wondered if he would ever be able to deny you anything. 
“Alright. I want to shoulder most of the business.” You sighed and he continued on. “Not because you and Polly aren't competent, but because things are even higher risk than they have been. I want to shoulder the consequences. To do that I need to keep you out of it.” 
“I don’t want you to face things alone. Not the risk or the consequences.” It was his turn to let out a sigh. 
“I know you don't, that’s why I -” He what? Was in love with you, wanted to marry you? Wanted to build you a life that would make any other woman on the planet die of a jealous heart? 
“You what?” They were by the cut now and you turned to look at him. You were angry and you had every right to be. 
“I want to marry you.” He blurted the words out and ran a hand through his hair. Your hands flew to your mouth and you looked at him with wide eyes illuminated by the moonlight. Was this positive or negative? The regret and embarrassment started to creep up his neck when you lunged at him. 
He stumbled slightly before properly handling your weight. Your arms were tight around his neck and all he could smell was the perfume along your neck. He took a deep breath, the first real breath he had taken since leaving France. He wanted the weight of you pressed up against him all the time. The feeling you brought him was enough to keep the demons at bay. How selfish was it of him to take this easy path out. He should have worked out a proposal and should have courted you properly. 
“We don’t - we could -” He tried to figure out what he wanted to ask. 
“Shut up and let me have my moment.” You said before pulling away enough to kiss him. It was soft and slow and he knew without a doubt he was yours forever. 
After a good amount of kissing, he smiled at you and meant it. He walked you home and then took his beating from Arthur and John. 
“I don’t care if God himself descended from the sky to claim her. She’s my sister and you won’t hurt her Tommy.” Tommy couldn't remember the last time he heard his brother’s voice sound so lethal. 
“You’ll be held to the same standards as any other dumbass wanting to date her,” John added. 
“Trying to do the opposite of hurt her.” He said wanted them to see he was trying to make you happy too. 
“That’s what they all say,” Arthur said with pointed eyes before bursting out into a booming laugh. “I want this to happen, brother I do. Just don’t mess around with her.” Arthur gave him a rough pat on the back and John started to make jokes about all the ways Tommy could disappoint you. 
Eventually, they let him go up to his room. You had already climbed across the ledge to his window and gotten into his bed.
“Took you long enough.” You said it as a joke but there was something in your voice that gave you away. You were starting to think he wasn't going to show up. 
“Boys had to rough me up a bit first.” Tommy shrugged his jacket off. 
“Why? what did you do?” Her eyes looked him over with concern. 
“Showed an interest in you. They had to do the usual.” He said absently changing into his pj’s trying to seem unbothered by your gaze watching him closely as he undressed. 
“What’s the usual?” You whispered.
“Bit of a beating, the usual threats. Part of dating someones sister.” 
“You mean any guy that’s wanted to date me has been roughed up by the three of you?!” 
“Yeah.” Tommy leaned against the wall looking at you laying in his bed in your night clothes. Head propped up on your arm. 
“I thought I was ugly.” You whispered still in shock over this news.
“What?!” Tommy laughed again. 
“None of the boys ever asked me out over the years. I thought I was ugly.” Tommy moved across the room and into the bed to assure you that you were never ugly.  
_____________________________
It took a lot of time to get out of that house on Watery Lane. Your father had passed before your wedding and Arthur walked you down the aisle. Ada and Poly felt all was right in the universe once you joined the family properly. They had a lot of fun planning the whole thing out. Your honeymoon was in the new house, a massive thing that Tommy had built for you.  It was large but warm.
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casasupernovas · 7 months
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so...snape fans have speculated where cokeworth is located in the england map or what it's equivalence would be. i've seen people speculate it's probably up north perhaps. maybe snape's a northerner.
however.
it's been stated multiple times that cokeworth is in the midlands. so we're thinking northampton, shropshire, stoke, birmingham.
but i prefer to think it's in the black country. mainly for these reasons:
1. cokeworth is an industrial town, even if spinner's end seems mainly abandoned, and the black country was the birth of the industrial revolution.
2. the black country was known for steelworks, glassworks and cokeworks which is maybe where the town got its title from.
3. the black country suffered from high unemployment due to the closing down of a lot of industrial sites in the 60s and 70s which ties into the idea of spinner's end being practically desolate now, and also the strain on the snape's household's economic position.
4. petunia met vernon dursley and marries him. his job was being the director of a firm that made drills. which are made of steel. steelworks anyone?
5. which leads to my last and favourite theory; petunia marrying vernon who perhaps also came from the black country then decided to name their child after something close to home. a nearby town perhaps - dudley.
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angelofthenight · 9 months
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Tommy, trying to pull Alfie up from the side of a cliff: Alfie you’re too heavy, I can’t hang on!
Alfie: Pretend I’m your brother, Tommy!
*Tommy’s grip loosens*
Alfie: NOT FINN NOT FINN
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Shadow by the Bed
(Mainly Finn & Tommy platonically) + (Technically Finn Shelby x Unnamed Girlfriend)
Summary: It's the middle of the night after a family party and everything seems calm. Until Lizzie's woken up by a shadowy figure standing over her and Tommy's bed.....
A/N: Hi Y'all! No trigger warnings other than Finn and his Girlfriend getting drunk. Also even though this was made as a Finn x Reader fic in mind, it really is a Finn and Tommy funny fluff fic, and I actually didn't use Y/N in this one at all. I think I want to connect it to some more ideas I have for the same girlfriend in mind, hence the tag. But the prompt for this one has been on my mind for a while and it was super fun to write! Also I looked it up and it seems the first "instant portable camera" so to speak was invented in 1923 which I checked on that fact! Enjoy❤️
WC-4.2k
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It was Lizzie who woke up in the early morning to the sound of master bedroom being entered. The squeak of a doorknob broke through her previously unconscious mind, and the soft stumbling steps towards the bed woke her even further. And for a second, her sleep idled mind thought it was Tommy.....but he was ,for once, sound asleep next to her. Then she thought it could be Charlie, trying to find comfort in their bed after a nightmare. But when she looked over, her blood ran cold and she froze, seeing the tall figure standing by the side of the bed, cloaked in shadows too dark to see his face.
The intruder looked at her for a second, and tilted his head, as if he was confused to why she was there. Tommy himself still hadn't woken up which served to scare Lizzie even more since he was probably the lightest sleeper she'd ever met. Every time she went to check on baby Ruby, or when Charlie tried to sneak in because of a nightmare, Tommy would be wide awake as soon as be heard the turn of the doorknob or footsteps by the bed. So the fact her usually vigilant husband was still softly snoring while an unknown man stood over them both, only increased her growing fear of what was about to occur. But before she could open her mouth to scream or hit Tommy awake, the figure moved again. He raised his hand and waved at her, almost eagerly, like he finally recognized her as someone he liked a lot.
"Hiii Lizzzzieee!"
Finn. 
It was Finn standing beside the bed in the middle of the night waving at her. He was drunk too, very drunk in fact, but Lizzie recognized her youngest brother in law. She remembered the party the family had that night. By then end of it, the only two people remaining in the living room were Finn and his girlfriend who, sat on his lap as they eagerly talked, lost in their own little world again. Evidently, after the rest of his kin had gone away Finn decided he wanted another drink... or four. Placing her hand over her chest, she took a few breaths trying to calm her racing heart. Now it made sense why Tommy hadn't woken up. 
Thomas Shelby was a hard man to sneak up on, even in his sleep. He was a light sleeper and had been since before the war. Almost every little creak or bump in the night was enough to wake him to at least open one eye and see what was going on. It was like his mind perceived any noise as a possible threat he needed to size up.  And as he grew older it remained that way. But for some reason, Finn was the only one able to move around at night and not wake up Tommy. It didn't matter if he was trying to be quiet or accidentally knocking over the dining room chairs at three o'clock in the morning. It was like Tommy's internal danger sensor had a glitch that would skip over any ruckus made by his youngest sibling. And there was a reason for that too. It was likely caused by the years of young Finn sneaking into Tommy's bed at night. Whether it was because of the cold or nightmares or just because he wanted to, there were many nights before the war then Tommy would wake up to his youngest brother sprawled out on his chest hogging all the blankets. And even if in the beginning Tommy would wake up, it seemed he got use to it. So much to the point where his little brother's movements at night became a background noise he could recognize even in sleep. One he recognized as nonthreatening and thus not a reason to wake up. And it was a noise he could apparently remember even years later today. Hence why Tommy was currently laying on his bed eyes closed and breathing peaceful, while his youngest brother and his wife stared each other down. 
"Hiiii Lizzie....."
Finn repeated again, slurring slightly, noticing he didn't get an answer the first time and in his fogged mind figured she hadn't heard him. Lizzie ran a hand down her face once and finally composed herself again, whispering to the freckled twenty year old who grinned at her drunkenly.
"Finn? What are you doing here? Is everything alright," she questioned, hoping that nothing had happened to him or his sweet girlfriend after the family had left them. She couldn't think of any reason why he'd be here otherwise. Something must have been wrong. Tommy grumbled slightly and shifted in his sleep at her words.
"Noo.. It's all fineee," Finn replied, his words being drawn out and trialing off as he spoke. But he still hadn't told Lizzie why he was there. She'd evidently have to try a new route.
"Ok, that's nice Finn," Lizzie spoke in the same manner she did to four year old Charlie when he showed her the croaking dirt covered mystery box he was trying to take to the bathtub one day. She still wasn't sure how he'd caught so many frogs... "Why don't you tell me why you're here ok? Wouldn't you rather sleep in your bed?l
"No. I want Tommy."
"Tommy?"
"Yeahhhh, I need Tommy right now," Finn raised a hand to rub the back of his head, nodding like everything made sense. He nodded to himself again, looking down at his sleeping brother  once more. Then to Lizzie's surprise, and with much more agility than a drunken boy should have, he sat on the bed and rolled to lay right on top of his older brother. It was the sudden weight on top of him that finally woke Tommy. Even if he could ignore the noises his little brother made moving around the room, the sudden, almost crushing heaviness on his chest was enough to scare him out of his sleep.
"Fucking fuck....Fuck!"
Tommy shot up, cursing as he tried to get his bearings. Well, he tried but the heavy mass on top of him, grumbling in his ear, made it hard to move. Fortunately, before he could grab his razor cap from the side of the bed, he recognized the annoyed whine of his baby brother coming from the man whose head he was trying to shove back. It was Finn. Why the fuck was Finn on top of him?
"Finn?"
"Tommmyyyy!," the mentioned man groaned lightly as Finn shifted on top of him. Despite being the youngest, Finn had nearly a head over his brothers and wasn't quite the tiny little thing he use to be. He practically blanketed Tommy as he sprawled over the bed. "Tommy I'm gonna sleep here tonight. I want you to rub my back."
A brief glance to his left, showed Tommy his wife who was quietly laughing at his predicament. After she got over the fear of his intrusion, Lizzie found the whole situation quite entertaining. It wasn't often Tommy was caught so off guard, especially when he couldn't just threaten or fight the person off like he usually did. Polly would probably beat his ass if he shoved Finn off him and left him to his own devices while this intoxicated. It didn't happen too often, but when Finn did get as drunk as his older brothers usually did, it never ended well. Last time it ended with him climbing a tree and refusing to get down even when all his brothers demanded it. To his brothers' slight annoyance, in the end, all it had taken to get him down was his girlfriend passing by on the street, who saw him and asked if he would come down to hold her hand. Before she had even finished her request, he was out of the tree, fingers entwined with hers, grinning like an idiot even though she was softly lecturing him on the dangers of drunk climbing. But now, Finn's girl was nowhere in Tommy's, admittedly limited, sight. That still didn't stop the growing annoyance towards the brother who'd interrupted his sleep.
"Don't you have a your own bed to do that? And stop moving your fucking legs, I don't need you kicking me in the balls."  
Somewhat defeated, Tommy closed his eyes again and laid his head back against his pillow. Lizzie, still laughing silently, obviously wasn't going to help him, and truth be told Tommy was still tired enough that he didn't want to keep trying to move what wasn't moving. Finn ignored his last comment, shifting again to get more comfortable, and buried his face deeper into the blankets on top of Tommy.
"I can't go to bed. My girl's there."
"Your girlfriend's in your bed?"
"Yeah, I have a girlfriendddd and she's reallyyy pretty and I lo..loveee her and she helps me read and she had this really cute fucking freckle on her top lip that's slightly off the middle and you can only see it if..." Finn's intoxicated rambling about his favorite person could barely be heard as he described his love. Rolling his eyes beneath closed lids, Tommy wished he could free one of his hands to pinch the bridge of his nose.
"That's great Finn, she sounds great, so why don't you go to her and ask her to rub your back and play with your hair? Why don't you get in bed with her?"
It was a decent enough question too. What would compel a young drunk man to seek the company of his grumpy older brother over the girl he's so in love with? Especially if he wants affection. In fact, Tommy was rather confused why Finn came to him instead of her. He knew that when he was this young and drunk he would rather have been with Greta than Arthur any day of the week. He remembered the nights long ago when they'd both fall asleep on his small bed after a night out. She use to play with his hair and kiss his neck lightly while he drunkenly professed his love in Romani... But that was a long time ago. And judging by the way his head finally shot up in shock, and by how he attempted to...glare maybe?....At Tommy, Finn had other opinions.
"I'm a not fucking pervert," he slurred out slightly while mixing up his words and bringing up a hand to thump his brother on the head, almost as if admonishing him for suggesting such a thing. Which confused Tommy even more as it wouldn't have been the first Finn shared a bed with his girlfriend. He'd come across them curled up in Finn's room after a party on more than once occasion, so it wouldn't be a stretch for it to happen again. 
"What does that.... stop fucking hitting me... Lizzie grab his hand... Lizzie help me.... Lizzie help.... ok. What the fuck does that mean?"
Rolling his eyes (or trying to) and pulling up his head to scrutinize his brother again, Finn huffed.
"She's drunk. I'm not gonna get in bed with her if she's drunk," he explained as it was the most obvious thing ever. "She doesn't like doing it with me. So I'm not going to do it with her. It's respectful and all that shit."
"She's drunk?"
"Yeahhhh, we played a game to see who could flip a coin into a cup first and if you lost you had to drink and theeenn we both lost a lot. And she kept giggling and almost tripped on the stairs and then she was tired so she's sleeping in my bed. But I'm not gonna get in with her. Not tonight. No no no," Finn shook his head eyes closed as he recounted the end of his night with his girl. Even if he had too many drinks, he still remembered all the times she sent him to her couch for being a bit too tipsy after a night out. Sure, she'd still give him water and kiss his forehead, but she didn't want to risk getting thrown up on. Besides she had told him she didn't feel comfortable getting in bed with him when he was drunk and he figured she'd feel the same way about it if she was. 
Finn kept shaking his head to show how much he wouldn't be sleeping in his room that night, until the motion made him nauseous and he groaned burying his head back on the bed. He didn't notice Tommy's look to Lizzie, who was already grabbing her robe from the side of the bed to go check on the occupant in Finn's room. Though it was unlikely she was injured or needed help, the older pair felt it would be safer to check just in case. 
Now the only two people in the room were Tommy and Finn, the latter of whom was still sprawled out over his brother. Tommy shifted around once again, hoping that Finn would move to take the spot Lizzie left empty but to no avail. It only served to make Finn groan more as the consequences of the alcohol began to hit his his system. 
"Tommy.... rub my back... don't you love me?"
Finn had resorted to trying to guilt trip his brother now. It was something he'd done many times when he was younger. Asking for something and then questioning his siblings love if they said no. It was always done with the mischievous intentions of a sneaky child. It rarely worked on Polly, who was immune by now to the childish manipulation, but more often than not his siblings were more than willing to "prove" they loved him the most. 
Tommy let out another sigh, but this one was laced with slight amusement. Even if it was slightly annoying, there was some entertainment to seeing Finn this way. It felt nice for Tommy to be able to recognise the bit of youth still left in him. Truth be told, he didn't see it as much anymore. 
In recent years, Finn had become very different from the kid he use to be. And not in the fact that he was a bit harder like his brothers. No, Finn was undoubtedly softer than the rest of his family, something that wasn't necessarily bad. But as he'd grown, the effects of the pressure he felt from his family had become more and more obvious. Almost gone was the Finn young who use to ask lots of questions and run around, rather spending the day playing football than sit at desk. He was replaced with a quieter young man who often lacked the confidence his older brothers posed. He didn't laugh loud enough to be heard from the street like he use to, always unsure if it was the right thing to laugh at or not. He seemed to make a point at time never to be louder than his brothers. like they set all the limits for what should be done. Where his brothers gladly wielded the power their last name held, Finn didn't seem to know what to do with it. He was always somewhat tense even around his closest family and friends. Like if he fully relaxed and acted as he did when comfortable, he'd be teased or told to man up like so often before. Tommy wouldn't apologise for it, but he knew it was partially him and his brothers fault for that. The anxieties that came with what Finn thought his family would want him to say or do or enjoy often lead him stay quiet, and do nothing, rather risk the wrong thing. At it's worst, it came to a point where someone would have probably looked at him and the only words they'd have been able to use to describe him would be Shelby and Blinder. He's gotten so caught up in appeasing his family he forgot to have a life and personality outside the image he believed they wanted him to be. 
Luckily however, finding his girlfriend seemed to fix that. She was the sweet girl who had agreed to teach him how to read. One day their lesson plans switched from reading words in books to reading the word cards during a silent film. Then when she started taking him places with her friends and going to do the things they liked to do, Finn was able to get a bit of his younger self back. When he was able to find a place in life that was completely separated from the one he was strictly living, and have time to try interests he enjoyed independently, even if his brothers didn't care for them.... That's when his family noticed another, admittedly healthier, change in their youngest. He was more relaxed and comfortable making his own decisions, knowing that there was someone there for him at the end of the day, even if he'd messed up at work or the rest of his family was fighting. A little bit more social at the family gatherings again, he wasn't as annoyed by the teasing comments they'd always made, and felt a bit more confident to share his opinions, knowing he had someone who'd usually try to back him up or at least hear him out. His girlfriend had done some good in him, helping him recognise that he could still have a life outside of his family's expectations. And while it did hinder somewhat his brothers plans to toughen him up to the darker side of the business, they were glad to see Finn a happy as he was. When he was around her he reminded them of the bouncy kid he was when he still laughed loud enough to be heard down the street. And Tommy was glad for that. 
"Tommmmyy," Finn mumbled again, his eyes were closed and he was almost asleep. His words were barely audible. Tommy looked at the face of his twenty year old brother, seeing it was still so much like the one he'd had at five. Sure he'd lost the baby fat and gained a numerous amount of freckles and a few small scars, but it was still the face of the small boy who climbed in his bed because at night when Arthur's snoring sounded like a monster in his closest. It was the same face that shared a mischievous glint with Ada when he wanted to prank John. It was the same face that tears were streaming down on the day he'd left for France and the same one buried in his neck the day he'd returned. It was the face he kept seeing in nightmares for weeks after the Lee family blew up the car, imagining what would have happened if he hadn't got there in time. It was the face of Tommy's baby brother, he still didn't like to deny, even if he did it more and more often these days.
"Do you really want me to rub you back like I did when you were little?"
"Uh huhhh...." 
Finally relenting, Tommy rolled his eyes again, but this time he had a small smile on his face. Giving a somewhat dramatic sigh, the older brother was finally able to free his arms from the weight on top of him. Then, much to Finn's delight, Tommy moved his arms around to rub and scratch his brother's back. He did it the same way he'd done it all those years ago, calming movements all the way down and then rubbing a few small circles between the shoulder blades. Occasionally he'd move one hand to the base of Finn's neck and place some pressure there for a few seconds. 
Tommy's couldn't even hear Finn's mumbled thanks as the younger man had finally fallen asleep. The soft familiar snoring made it's way to Tommy's ears less than a minute after he'd finally given in, leaving him to chuckles softly under his breath. Finn always did fall asleep fast, especially when someone was rubbing his back. Tommy could have chosen to stop now, rescinding his hands and moving Finn off of him. He could have gotten up and gone to meet Lizzie in the guest room by the nursery that she was likely sleeping in now.... However he didn't. 
That night Tommy would spend another half hour rubbing his sleeping brother's back, before he fell back into his own, surprising peaceful, sleep. Finn remained sprawled over his brother, softly snoring in his ear, while Tommy's hand lay on his brother's back, softly gripping the shirt he wore. And once again the night was calm.....
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"Fucking hell Ada, go slower or you're gonna step on my balls"
"I am going slow, it's not my fault that John's fat ass is making the bed squeak."
"Fuck off, my ass isn't fat! Besides at least I'm not the one using his head to keep my balance."
"All of you quiet before you wake them."
Argued whispers broke though Tommy's mind a few hours later. It confused his sleep idled mind. Not the fact they were arguing, that was a regular occurrence, but just hearing the voices of Arthur, Ada, and John so early in the morning. Why was he hearing them this early?...
Or maybe it wasn't early, Tommy could feel a warmth on his back probably from the morning sun. Usually he was at breakfast before it came up. Still half asleep, he ignored their argument, not wanting to deal with whatever fight they were having now, and shifted to get more comfortable. Only to find that he couldn't move, still held down by a heavy weight. Moving agin to try and free himself he realized that not only had he turned on his stomach during the night, but the warmth on his back was from Finn, still asleep hugging onto his form. He also figured it was Finn's hand gripping his hair tightly too. The quiet ginger had a habit of doing that in his sleep to Tommy when he was younger. 
The hushed voices around the room froze, and he could feel eyes on his form. Then he felt the bed shift slightly and the soft thump of a hand hitting a chest. What the fuck was going on?
"Shit, Esme take it already."
Groaning at the bright light, Tommy opened his eyes and lifted up his head. It took a few moments for his eyes to adjust and his nose inadvertently scrunched at having to wake up. For once, Tommy was actually sleeping well and he was mildly annoyed at having been disturbed. But that annoyance turned to more confusion soon enough. 
Ada, John, and Arthur were all situated on their own spots in Tommy's bed. He could feel the back of Arthur's knees by his head to the left side of the bed and it was Arthur griping his hair, apparently for balance. Ada seemed to be next to Arthur sitting criss-cross, the extra pressure over his back indicating that she was leaning some of her weight on Finn. And John he could actually see sitting directly on the back of Tommy's knees, keeping him from rolling over again.... had Finn not still been sprawled on top of him. Looking to right he saw not just Esme, but Lizzie, Linda, Polly, Michael, AND Uncle Charlie watching them. He also noticed Finn's girlfriend over Lizzie's shoulder, wrapped tightly in a blanket, watching silently with a glass of water for her own hangover. They were all observing the scene before them with equal levels of amusement as all the Shelby siblings plied into one bed for the first time in an over a decade probably. It was that moment Tommy, still half asleep, noticed the camera in Esme's hands and realised what was about to occur. But he didn't get the chance to protest.
"Shit he's seen it, ESME GO!"
A second before Esme took the photo, Ads raised her hand and brought it down as hard as she could on Finn's back. 
Scared shitless Finn shot awake and cursed, his eyes wide open. Instinctively he began fighting off whoever was on top of him, causing Tommy to groan in pain as an elbow was driven into his back. This started a miniature wrestling match between the five of them as Finn scrambled to grab whoever hit him, Ada, John, and Arthur, fought to hold him down just because they could, and Tommy, having enough of it all, fought to get up. They were all yelling, but none of them could be understood by the rest of the family watching on. Eventually, Finn tried to shove himself up again and succeeded to do so while also knocking Ada off the bed. When she fell she grabbed John and Arthur, who ended up grabbing Finn, who grabbed Tommy and they all ended up in another pile on the floor. 
Across the room Linda and Lizzie were almost crying they were laughing so hard. Uncle Charlie was holding onto Michael's shoulder to keep himself up right as they laughed. Polly was chuckling quietly but just mostly watched the scene with a nostalgic smile on her face, remembering the times when the siblings acted like that more often. It have been a long time since then and it was nice to see them acting like they did when they were younger. Esme's smile was partially hidden as she held the camera to her eye to take another photo of the pile on the floor. Finn's girlfriend was still wrapped with a blanket around her like a hooded cloak, and she was grinning while telling Esme the best spot to take another picture. In her hand was the other photo that had just finished developing. Arthur, John, and Ada could be seen smiling happily as they piled over their two brothers, Finn's face showed pure fear as he was smacked awake, and Tommy's half asleep confusion finally processing what was in Esme's hand. It was a perfect picture showing the Shelby siblings in their natural habitat....Chaos.
From the pile on the floor, it seemed as if Finn's body finally remembered the events of last night and he heaved slightly as the nausea kicked in.
"I'm gonna be fucking sick."
His siblings scrambled to get away.
....
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loveisalwaystheanswer · 5 months
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PEAKY BLINDERS | S01E06 Dir. Tom Harper
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aphroditeslover11 · 5 months
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Heyy!! I was thinking for Tommy how about a fluffy piece where he’s introducing Reader to his family. Thankss! Lots of love to you:).
Hi, I’ve done my best with this so hope you enjoy it. I enjoyed writing it as ever, love a bit of fluffy Tommy!
Meet The Shelbys
Warning: as you would expect for peaky, consumption of alcohol!
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This was possibly the most nerve-wracking car journey of your life. It was Tommy’s birthday and, as he was Tommy Shelby and had absolutely everything that he could ever want or need, you had decided to ask him outright what he wanted. After telling you repeatedly that you didn’t need to give him anything he relented, saying that, as you had been together for a few months now, the best present that you could give him would be coming to spend an evening at the Garrison with the entire Shelby clan. That was where you were going now, sat in the passenger seat, fiddling with your hands in your lap whilst trying not to let on how nervous you were to Tommy
“I can tell you’re nervous love. I promise that they aren’t as bad as everything you’ve probably heard about them,” he said in a vain effort to comfort you.
“I know Tom, I’m just anxious that they won’t like me, I’m not exactly like the rest of you.” That was very true, with you having grown up in the countryside on your father’s estate, it wasn’t to the proportions of a place like Chatsworth, but certainly more comfortable than the Shelby’s Birmingham upbringing.
“I’m sure they’ll love you, just like I do,” Tommy reassured, reaching to bring your hand to his face so that he could place a gentle kiss on the back of it.
“I just hope that you’re right.”
“What do you mean, I always am.”
~
When you arrived at the Garrison the first thing that hit you was the smell of alcohol, it was like walking into a room of gaseous whiskey. Then the noise reached your ears, glasses clinking and men shouting, celebrating the end of the working week with a pint or five. You subconsciously reached for Tommy’s hand as he led you through the crowd to the bar.
“A whiskey and a wine Harry, are the others here yet?” he asked the barman.
“They are Tommy, in the snug as usual, who’s this lovely lady on your arm, if I’m allowed to ask?”
“Harry, this is my beautiful y/n, she’s meeting the family for the first time tonight. Y/n, this is Harry, best barman in all of Birmingham.” The barman then turned to you.
“I’m guessing that you must be nervous love, they aren’t so bad though, your Shelby is the worst by a long way.”
“I am a bit,” you admitted with an anxious smile.
“Do you drink whiskey love? might help take the edge off your nerves a bit.” You nodded in response. “I’ll make the order two whiskeys then.” You could tell Tommy was starting to get impatient, sighing impatiently at your side.
“Harry, I’ll thank you not to speak of me like that infant of my woman, and she’ll be drinking wine not whiskey thank you, send the drinks through to the snug when they’re ready.” You went to protest but Tommy cut you off before you had chance. “You know that you’re banned from whiskey until you can prove to me that you can handle it after the state you came home in last time, and I’m hoping that you might say hello to everyone before you get yourself absolutely rat-arsed.” He did have a point, so you acquiesced and allowed him to lead you into the smaller room off to the side.
The first person that you met was Polly, she was a little prickly to begin with, but once she had got the measure of you she was soon very welcoming, obviously she wanted to be sure that you were good enough for her nephew before she let you feel at home. Next came Ada, who wrapped you into a hug before Tommy had even had a proper chance to introduce you.
“I don’t care who you are or where you come from,” she said. “But you must be a saint if you can put up with Tommy.” This made everybody laugh, which was what drew your attention to the men on the other side of the table.
“Love, this is John, Arthur and Finn, my brothers.” Tommy stepped back up again.
“It’s nice to meet you at last. You know Tommy doesn’t shut up about you, so it’s nice to finally know who you are.” Arthur was the first one to speak to you.
“I can assure you that I’m really not that interesting” It was the John’s turn to join in.
“Well, Tom clearly doesn’t agree because we were all threatened with death earlier if we dared say anything to upset you. And I’m guessing that he doesn’t want you to know that from the look on his face now.” Tommy wiped the glare from his face before you had a chance to see it, placing an arm around your waist.
The drinks arrived, more were ordered as the evening went on and it wasn’t long before everyone found themselves at least slightly inebriated. You were sandwiched between Arthur and Ada, Tommy having started to talk business with John whilst the others were more interested in you. The conversation had taken many turns and you were just getting on to embarrassing stories about your boyfriend.
“When he was little Tommy and me used to get into fights all the time, he was a scrawny wee thing, but he had the stubbornness of a pack horse, never gave in. I always used to have to let him win so that he wouldn’t make me keep punching him until he got a concussion.” Arthur had you and Ada laughing hard. “He still won’t admit it all these years on.” Now it was Ada’s turn.
“He was an absolute devil to have around when I was a teenager, he always ruined any fun that I could have, he’d have had me under house arrest if Polly would’ve let him. Do you remember Arthur, that time that he caught me with that lad down by the cut and threw him into the canal?” Arthur nodded in ascent. “I swear he’d have thrown me in as well if it hadn’t meant we’d still be together. I asked him why I couldn’t have my own fun when he spent his life drinking in here and gambling and he just went off in a huff.”
Realising that you were talking about him Tommy turned to your little group.
“And what would you be saying about me over there?”
“Nothing bad Tom, just warning her what she’s getting herself into,” joked Arthur.
“I hope that’s it. She knows that I have plenty of things to say about her if you’re telling stories.”
It was nice seeing Tommy around his family he was so at ease around them, it was unusual to see him smiling and laughing in company unless it was just the two of you alone.
~
At the end of the evening you said goodbye to everyone, Tommy smiling at your slightly drunken self as you hugged everyone goodbye, completely transformed from the nervous wreck that you had been earlier. He had to practically drag you away from Ada, whom you had been getting especially friendly with, only managing to pull you out by promising that you could all meet up again soon.
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Escape to the Eden Club - Sister! reader x Shelby Brothers
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Summary; Emily Shelby wants to spend the night away from the confines of Small Heath and decides to head out to the famed Eden Club of London. All was well until a certain trio arrived and reigned havoc.
Author's Note; I took some liberties with the plot/ location of the Eden Club itself. That being said, this is still meant to be aligned closely with the fight scene from season 2. As always, let me know what you think.
Eager to escape into the cool evening air, Emily wrapped her shawl loosely around her shoulders and took stock of her purse. A small roll of bills, lipstick, a dainty opal hairbrush, and a shining Colt Pocket Hammerless Arthur had given her some time ago. With one last glance to the mirror, she smoothed out her dress and went for her bedroom door, shutting it softly behind her. Seeing as Polly would still be at the church for sometime, she decided it would be best to inform her brother on her intentions. Emily approached Thomas’ office and peered in to see the stout man sitting behind his modest desk. She rapped lightly on the door frame and was beckoned inside by just a flick of her brother’s eyes instead of a word. After only taking one step into the room she spoke in the most clear, confident tone she could muster.
“I’m going out with Ada this evening. I’ll be back by midnight.” Hoping the conversation would end there she turned to leave only to be stopped by her brothers words. Still not looking up from the papers spread across the wood before him he cleared his throat and said,
“Going out with Ada, eh? Why is this the first I’m hearing about this?” Emily rolled her eyes, hoping her brother didn’t see, and replied,
“Because I didn’t think there would be any issue.” Emily didn’t like lying, a quality instilled in her by her Aunt Polly since her youth. Though, as a Shelby, it came naturally. Exhausting Emily further, Thomas continued in his questioning. 
“Where about are you two going?” Calmer this time, as to not arouse suspicion, the girl replied, 
“Just to dinner, in Digbeth.” 
“The name of the establishment?” With more attitude, she replied, 
“The Carriage.” The man sat for a moment, only sparing her one more glance as he searched her face for deceit. He apparently found none. 
“Be back by 11.” Emily offered a small smile and made her way out of the home on Watery Lane, calling over her shoulder, 
“I’ll see you at 11:30, Tom.” 
The night was still young and the chance for her to walk the streets of Birmingham alone and untethered was an excitement of a life time. She wouldn’t just be walking the streets of her hometown tonight, though. After meeting her friend Scarlett by the cut they hailed a cab and set out for London. 
The passage was just under 2 hours before they arrived to the Eden Club just outside of the city. After tipping the cabman and exiting out into the brisk night they set for the front doors of the avant-garde establishment. Scarlet giggled with excitement as they approached the doorman who knew better than to question two striking young women trying to enter the club. The main hall filled was filled with the smell of smoke and sex and the band played on to ring in the young night. It wasn’t often that Emily got to leave the holdings of Small Health, let alone the claws of her brothers. After Ada’s departure, Thomas was more worried than ever about loosing his youngest sister. This fear often manifested into the overarching control of Emily’s every move. He felt it was both an act of love and an act of necessity. Emily knew she was deeply loved by her brother and cared for him in the same way. Yet, at the end of the day, if Tom could have his thumb on the pulse of every member of the family, only then could he ensure their safety, or so he believed. 
“Isn’t this amazing!” Scarlett squealed in Emily’s ear. Scarlett was one of the few friends that Thomas approved of. She came from a respectable, working-class family who raised horses and often did work with the Shelby family. 
“I know.” Emily said back, raising her voice to soar over the loud music. The pair approached the bar and beckoned the attendant for a drink. Soon after, two men approached the women introducing themselves as Paul, a tall man with short black hair in a pressed grey suit, and David, a slightly stout man with dusty blonde hair and rosy cheeks who’s slim black suit made him look taller than he was. Paul explained that Emily had caught his eye from the moment she had walked in and it would be a crime to let a woman like herself buy her own drinks. It was only out of the confines of Birmingham that handsome men would approach her, unafraid of people she was related to. She could speak freely and finally feel a sense of control she was never afforded at home. 
“Would you care to dance?” Paul asked the young woman and carefully took her hand in his. They left their drinks at the table where David and Scarlett sat completely enthralled with one another. He led her to the dance floor just as a new song started over at the bands stage. Spinning around the floor Emily couldn’t help but laugh at the happiness she felt in Paul’s arms. He leaned in close to her face and breathed, 
“You are absolutely stunning.” His breath smelled of bourbon and lust. This was Emily’s dream; to be young and free. Finally she was living it. 
She only noticed the violent outburst taking place across the large room once she heard the crashing noise of a wooden table full of glassware hit the ground. The band cut to a halt and gasps filled the audience. Out of instinct, Paul shoved Emily behind him as he assessed the situation. When it became clear that the men dressed in black meant to do harm he ushered his date back to their table to collect their friends and make a run for the door. Through the crowd, Emily peered over the bobbing heads of patrons ducking and running at the chaos she noticed a familiar jacket fly up as one of the unknown assailants struck another man across the face. As he turned to face another man she saw the face of her brother adorned with a busted lip and small drops of another mans blood. 
“Fuck.” She whispered and made a run for her table. Scarlett and her companion had already gathered their things and stood to meet the other couple. The four of them hid behind the large sofa they had once sat on while they waited for a path to clear to the main exit of the building. Emily grabbed her friend by the arm and swung the girl around to meet her scared face. The two men were conversing anxiously at the best plan of escape while the women spoke in hushed words. 
“It my fucking brother!” 
“What?” Scarlett gasped “Are you sure?” The two women peered over the couch to see the men still going at it near the center of the room. This time, Arthur’s face came into view through the madness. 
“Fuck it’s the lot of them. We need to go. Now!” Emily shoved the other girl forward and the men followed suit. A gunshot rang out through the building and they all dropped to the floor covering their heads. Paul grabbed Emily’s shoulders hovered his body over hers to protect her. When the men quit fighting and stood to see where the shot had come from all became quiet. The four took this opportunity to head straight for the exit. Emily only heard the indistinct echo of Tommy’s voice before clearing the doorway. 
Pouring into the street patrons ran every conceivable direction to vacate the path of anymore possible bullets. After reaching the end of the block Paul spoke, out of breath. 
“Is everyone ok?” Each took their turn affirming that they were not hurt, just a bit shaken. Emily turned to her friend communicating with just their eyes that they all needed to get leave before her brothers had a chance to exit the building. “Alright, I need to get you home.” Paul said and took Emily’s shoulder and David followed suit with Scarlett. 
“No!” Emily said too forcefully, “I - We will get home, I promise. You need to get on your way,” she explained gently. Truthfully, she wanted nothing more than to go anywhere with Paul, that handsome, caring gentleman. He stood firm on his words and said again,
“Emily, really, I need to make sure you get home. I don’t know who the fuck those bastards were.” Scarlett let out a worried laugh at the irony of the situation and still couldn’t take her eyes off the doorway expecting any moment that the men would emerge and see them. Emily took her arm from him though it pained her to do so. 
“Please, Paul, really. You need to get going.” She said urgently. He took a step back and dropped his eyes to the ground, looking hurt. Defeated, he touched David on the shoulder, prompting him to let go of Scarlett’s arm. 
“It was lovely meeting you,” was all he spoke before turning and walking off into the dark alley way. Emily rifled around in her purse and pulled out some small bills shoving them into Scarlett’s hand. 
“Go. Now!” She said before beginning to turn away. 
“What? I’m not leaving you!” Her friend yelled back, grabbing onto her wrist, stopping her movement.
“Scarlett, go! Please. Before they come out.” She pleaded. Even her friend knew that there would be hell to pay if her family found out that she had been running around, getting into trouble with the Shelby girl. With eyes darting between the front door of the Eden Club and Emily’s worried expression Scarlett forced herself to embrace her friend. 
“Please be safe.” Emily nodded in response and they both took off into opposite directions. After quickly crossing in front of the building, the younger Shelby tried her best to hail a cab as many former club goers tried to do the same. Every few seconds she found herself looking over her shoulder praying that she wouldn’t turn to find her brother’s red face looking back at her. After a few failed attempts she saw a empty taxi just across the way parked right next to the entrance of the club. If she hurried, she might just be able to make it before her brothers emerged. With a quick decision she bolted as fast as her heels would carry her across the street and made it just steps the the cab door before she felt the shoulder of a much larger man connect with her own. As she was shoved back onto the hood of the cab she couldn’t help but shout,
“watch where yer’ fucking goin!” Just as any other Shelby would. She watched in anger as that very man climbed into the cab himself and the car began to drive away forcing her to move back onto the side walk. Collecting herself and still cursing the man under her breath she only made it a few steps from her place in front of the club before she heard her name called from behind her. 
It was John. The word pierced her soul like a knife. Without thinking, she swung around to see him standing only about 10 feet behind her as Thomas and Arthur filed out of the door. Without a second to reconsider, she ran. Though slowed down by her shoes and the lingering effects of alcohol, she carried herself briskly down the street. 
“Emily Lenora Shelby!” She heard Arthur roar from behind her. Continuing down the sidewalk shoving between the still clearing crowd she did not stop. Just before she reached the nearest intersection a strong hand gripped her shoulder and spun her around causing her to stumble. She was caught by her oldest brother’s hands of either shoulder lightly shaking her to emphasize each word as they came from his red, blood splattered face. 
“What the fuck are you doing here? Are you bloody mental?” She squinted to shield herself from the yelling as she put her hands to his chest to push him away. He wasn’t planning on letting her go lest she run again until he felt the hand of Tom guide him away from the younger girl. She almost preferred the outright rage of Arthur over the chilling coldness of Thomas, at least with the former, his true intentions were always clear. John soon arrived behind the men and took to consoling Arthur while Thomas pushed the girl to side of the road. Unwilling, she attempted to hold her ground against the man though a stronger grip on her upper arm and a stern look from his piercing eyes encouraged her to comply. She kept her head low has he was still catching his breath from the conflict and subsequent jog to catch his fleeing sister. Finally, in a low, gruff voice, he spoke. 
“In the club, ye?” She nodded her head but still wouldn’t meet the man’s eyes. Instead, she peered past him to see John and Arthur leaned in close to one another talking. Arthur waving his hands around like a lunatic while John tries to calm him down. Out of all her brothers, her and John butted heads the most. Maybe it was the age difference, sitting at just enough years to give them not much in common but enough to argue about. Though, when it was all said and done, she knew John would have her back just as much, if not more, than anyone else. She met his eyes in a quick glance before turning back to Tom’s shoes. Now, the more pragmatic Shelby took in a deep breath to gather his thoughts before continuing the conversation with his sister. 
“Why? Eh?” He said quieter this time. She couldn’t tell if his low voice was an attempt to deescalate the situation or to intimidate her into telling the truth. Well, the truth as it may be, wasn’t that interesting. Emily shrugged and only spared him a small glance up. She went to the Eden club that evening for the same reason as any other girl of her year would; to have fun. 
“You have no business being at those clubs. Getting yourself fucking killed, right?” He said lowering himself to her level, even closer to her face. Her jaw tensed as she thought of a thousand words she could say back to him.
“Everything was fine until you bastards shot up the place.”
“Weren’t you just at the same club, Tom?”
“It’s none of your business what I do.”
Using her better judgment though, she held her tongue. The irony of the situation was not lost on Tommy. He knew that the standard he held for his sister was much different than he held for the men of the family, though he held it steadfast. At the end of the day, he knew Emily was a good girl. Smart, calculated, quick, and usually honest. When the silence hung in the air for too long, he took a gentle hand and guided her face to meet his eyes. 
“Don’t scare me like that again.” He said pointedly with his finger pointed at her face. Emily pursed her lips and gave a curt nod before he pulled her in for a quick but firm hug and placed one kiss on the top of her head. Trying to break away from the clutches are her brother once more she took a step away from Thomas and said, 
“I’ll see you at home,” before attempting to leave in the opposite direction. He let out a sigh once again and wrapped a strong, possessive hand around her arm once more. His lips parted and he eyebrow went up in astonishment, almost as if he was testing her to defy him once again. She looked in his eyes a moment longer, unwavering, before following him back to the other men. Thomas cleared his throat and released the grasp on the girl before speaking, 
“Let’s just go home, shall we.” The four walked in uncomfortable silence back to the car, just over a block away from the fateful scene. As they walked, her oldest brother moved closer to her eventually putting a hand on her upper back and bending down to her level.
“You knows I just want to protect you, right, love?” He offered in a nicer tone than before. Emily knew and nodded a reply. 
“I know.” 
“It’s just you can’t go running around like that.” Before he could get another sentence out, Thomas called out from the front of the group. 
“She knows, brother.”  They eventually made it to the Bentley and it was John that opened the door for his sister to enter the back seat. As she took the less-than-sober step up into the vehicle her brother gently pushed her, just to see how unstable she was.
“Acting like a fuckin’ harlot,” John laughed quietly to chastise the younger girl. Quickly, Emily turned to face him hunched over in the car and raised her purse as if she was going to hit him. 
“Oi, you fuckin’ bastard!” She seethed. Before the two could go at it Thomas darted a look at them in the rear view mirror and raised his voice in a menacing shout. 
“Enough!” Was all it took for the pair to quiet down and sit silently for the rest of the ride home. 
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soleilceirinen · 2 months
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The older I get | Shelby family x sister!Reader Modern AU
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Summary: after being away for years, you must return to Small Heath to face the loss of a beloved one. But, will you be able to forgive the past and leave it behind? A/N: English is not my first language, sorry in advance if something makes no sense. Warning: death of a family member, angst. Words: 3.1k
Peaky Blinders Masterlist
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"Y/N? Honey, are you still there?" Lizzie's soft voice echoed through the phone. 
"Yes, thanks for calling," you said, fighting back the urge to cry. "Hey, why hasn't he called me?" 
Lizzie sighed tiredly. "He's busy with work. Besides, he wanted someone else to tell you in case you didn't take it well." 
"How the hell am I supposed to take this?" You asked with anger filling your veins. It wasn't Lizzie's fault and it wasn't fair to take out your frustration on her but you couldn't help it.
"I know," she conceded, "but you know your brother, he's having a hard time. Everyone's having a hard time."
Despite the lump in your throat, you nodded. Of course you understood but that didn't make you feel any better. Your Aunt Polly had just died and you had to find out through your brother's ex-wife. 
"Thank you for taking the time to call me, see you tomorrow, well in a few hours," you hung up the phone and threw it hard against the mattress, it bounced several times before falling to the floor. The noise that the device made when it hit the ground resonated like an explosion in the silence of the night. 
The tears you had been holding back rolled freely down your cheeks. You fell down on the bed, burying your face in the pillow and letting out a choked sob. 
It was too late to go to Birmingham, or too early, depending on how you looked at it. In a few hours you would take the first train so you could attend the funeral. You weren't sure what scared you more, facing the reality that Polly was gone or being in the same room with all your siblings again after seven years apart.
-
Since you couldn't fall asleep in the remaining hours until dawn, you packed some clothes and personal items, not many because you didn't plan to stay in Birmingham for too long, and tidied up your room. Cleaning would keep your mind busy. 
The train ride was a fucking nightmare. Despite it being so early, your car was full of people, people with children who couldn't stop screaming and running between the seats. Wasn't anyone capable of teaching their children some manners? The boy right behind you had been kicking the back of your seat for more than twenty minutes, the damn thing. 
Taking a deep breath, you rested your head on the window as you watched the landscape and tried not to think. The soft rattle of the train rocked you as if trying to comfort you. However, it was not that simple. Memories of your childhood in Small Heath flooded your mind, some of them good, some others the kind you would have liked to banish from your memory. The kind of ones that made you take the decision to put some distance between you and your family in the first place.
Finn and you, as twins, were the youngest with a considerable age difference compared to the rest of your siblings. Due to family problems, your parents had always been absent from your life, so your Aunt Poll practically raised you as her own. Polly was the closest thing you had ever had to a mother figure. 
Your childhood and adolescence weren’t easy. Deep down you felt bad for thinking like that, you knew that your older brothers had had it worse while your father still lived with them, but still. As a teenager nothing seemed fair.
It was all screams and arguments, a house immersed in violence. Aunt Polly began to drink more and more, Arthur only thinking of his drugs or who knows what, which caused more fights. When the shouting started you used to run to your room and close the door, getting  into bed, covering your head with a blanket and listening to music at full volume until your ears hurt.
And then you prayed just as Polly had taught you. You prayed that you would fall asleep and wake up with another family, a normal family where no one screamed or came back in the middle of the night beaten up and  covered in blood.
You wiped away the tears falling down your cheeks with the back of your hand as you noticed a little girl staring at you. 
"Why are you crying?" she asked in a squeaky childish voice.
Before you had time to make up any excuse a man who must have been her father spoke out loud, clearly making fun of you.
"She broke up with her boyfriend, right, pretty face?"
The look you gave him could rival Tommy's. No one would hesitate to say that you were a Shelby. Slowly, his smile faded from his  face and he looked away embarrassed, grabbing the girl by the arm to make her return to her seat. 
-
When you finally got off the train, your eyes were swollen and your nose was red from crying. You took a couple steps through the station and then stopped. Who were you looking for? You didn't even know if anyone was going to pick you up. 
“Y/N!”
Turning around, you looked everywhere trying to find who was calling you. They could be calling someone else but the voice was too familiar to be a mistake. And then you saw him, a few metres from the entrance, greeting you with his arm and a huge smile. 
"Hello, Isaiah," you said with a small voice. He wrapped his strong arms around you in a tight hug and you buried your face in his chest, a position similar to the one you two shared the last time you said goodbye. 
"How are you?" He asked when you stepped away but he immediately rolled his eyes. "Sorry, that was a stupid question." 
"It's okay, I'm fine. What about you?"
He shrugged. "Great, given the circumstances. I have the privilege of picking up and bringing home the princess of Small Heath," he joked, winking playfully. 
You hit him on the arm, of course not hurting him. You followed him only to stop next to the car, he took your bag and put it in the trunk. Once inside, Isaiah pulled out and placed his cell phone on your thigh. "You can choose the music."
The ride was quiet, both of you listening to your favourite songs and humming or making up the lyrics from time to time, like when you were teenagers and ran away from home along with Finn. 
"Why did you come to pick me up at the train station?" 
Isaiah glanced at you out of the corner of his eye, not really taking his eyes off the road and remained silent for a few seconds. "Why, am I not enough for you?" he joked, in an attempt to light up the mood. 
"I won’t hit you because you're driving" you murmured, he laughed softly. "My brothers, why have none of them come? I know Ada was busy with the kids, she texted but they haven’t even talked to me.”
He shifted uncomfortably in his seat. "I don't know. You should talk to them about that. You've been away for many years, they've changed." 
You nodded silently. It had started to rain. "Sure. Thanks for coming to pick me up, Isaiah." 
He squeezed your leg. "You know I'll always be there for you."
-
The rain was now pouring fiercely as a reflection of your current mood. 
Everything in the house screamed Polly, every corner reminded you of your childhood. It would always keep fascinating you how a simple scent could bring you back in time so easily. Blinking rapidly, you tried to clear your cloudy sight. Ada stepped in front of you, hugging you and murmuring comforting words in your ear and you leaned into her. You had missed her so much in the past few years. 
As a little girl you felt devotion towards your only sister. You wanted to spend time with her, sometimes you stole her make up and she ended up mad at you because of it. The rest of the time she just pushed you away, not wanting to babysit you. Back then you thought it was unfair but now you understand, Ada was a teenager and she wanted to go out with her friends and her boyfriend, not staying at home with two little kids. 
However, as you got older, it was more and more common for your sister to call to include you in her life. 
"Will you stay with me and the children? Hey, Y/N. Are you listening to me?"
You looked at her worried face and nodded. “Yeah, thanks Ada. I don’t want to spend more time here than necessary.”
Ada rubbed your arm as she gave you a sympathetic look. “I know, dear. Have you seen the others? Or Polly?”
Your heart jumped against your ribs with fury. “No, not yet.”
“Y/N!” Arthur called out, striding towards your direction. He stopped a step away from you, undecided whether to give you a hug or not. He looked thinner than you remembered. Actually, he looked older. You were the one who stepped forward and hugged his slender body. He reciprocated right away, burying his face in your hair and sobbing. 
“It’s okay, Arthur” you whispered against his chest. 
Taking a step back, you stared at him once again, mentally thanking that he wasn’t the one picking you up from the train station. He was a total mess. 
Somehow, seeing your older brother like that sent a pang of guilt directed to your guts. Arthur used to be energetic, fierce and chaotic, but this man in front of you was nothing like that. He seemed like he needed a warm blanket and a cup of tea, and maybe sleeping for a couple days without worries. 
“Arthur, why don’t we go and talk to Lizzie?” suggested Ada, linking her arm with his and pulling him away. He smiled at you with his blue eyes filled with tears and reached to grab your hand but Ada didn’t let him do it. “Let's give Y/N some space, alright?”
You had been holding your breath without realising it. As soon as they left you alone you let out the air, feeling your lungs deflate. Throughout the house you could hear children screaming while playing, unaware of the sadness that filled the air. They were your nephews and nieces. Mostly John’s kids. You wondered if he was a good father now. When you were ten years old he used to make you watch horror movies such as The Exorcist or It, and then he laughed when you cried terrified at night. 
The lump in your throat became more noticeable, you needed to get out of there.
Out of the corner of your eye you saw Finn and Isaiah talking quietly to Michael and a blonde girl you didn't know. Avoiding crossing glances with them, you headed to the kitchen looking for the door that led to the backyard. If you did, you would have to stop and talk to them, exactly what you didn't want to do at that moment.
You weren’t expecting to see Polly’s coffin in one of the rooms so you turned your face away when you walked by its door, almost running until you reached the knob of the door that led to the backyard and turned it, opening the door and stepping outside. The chill wind helped to cool down your feverish cheeks. 
After closing the door behind you, you leaned against the cold wall, eyes closed, trying to calm yourself down. 
I'm sorry I didn't come sooner, you thought, placing a hand over your heart. I'm sorry for not saying goodbye to you, Aunt Polly, for not taking time to tell you how much I loved you. I was angry with all of you. I'm sorry, I promise to think of you and to not forget your name. Polly. Elizabeth Gray. 
Letting out a choked sob, you opened your eyes. You didn't know if Polly was able to hear you, wherever she was now, but you sincerely hoped that your message would reach her somehow. 
Someone clearing their throat made you jump. To your right, leaning against the wall just like you was Tommy, taking long drags on a cigarette, as if his intention was to suck the life out of it. "Damn Tommy, you scared the hell out of me! What are you doing here?" you yelled at him, brushing your hair out of your face and furiously wiping away your tears.
He shrugged and let out a puff of smoke. “Same as you.”
His voice was deep and hoarse, like if he had been crying. He used to be really close to Polly and now that you thought about it, it made sense. Just like Arthur, his appearance surprised you. 
In your memories Tommy was a young man with his freckles and blue eyes, the dark hair slightly curled at the ends when he let it grow and an encouraging smile that he only reserved for you and your siblings. That was the brother who taught you how to ride a bike and how to swim in the canal, how to take care of horses during the summer breaks and the one who used to tell you stories with funny voices whenever you couldn’t sleep at night. 
There was almost nothing of that brother in the man in front of you. Tommy was old. It had been around seven years since you moved away to go to university but time had hit him hard. He was in his forties now and his hair was turning grey in some parts, the wrinkles much more noticeable as well as the deep dark circles under his eyes. 
He threw the remainder of the cigarette on the floor and looked at you thoroughly, as if he were analysing you from head to toe. A mix of emotions crossed his face but you weren’t sure to be interpreting them correctly, such as a slight panic, a bit of sadness and finally something similar to approval. 
“You look good,” he stated, “how is school? Everything alright?”
Your eyes filled with tears once more but this time you didn't hold them back. All the rage that had been growing inside of you since Lizzie called you a few hours earlier came out freely. “I’m not in school anymore Tommy, I’m a PhD student and I’m writing my fucking thesis so don’t talk to me as if I were a stupid child.”
He seemed taken aback by your sudden anger. “It wasn’t my intention to make you feel like that” he apologised before clearing his throat, raising an eyebrow, “but if you haven’t noticed, you’ll always be a kid to me.”
Tommy didn’t let you say anything back, continuing with his speech. He wasn’t looking at you, instead, he stared at some point far away in the distance.
“When you were born I was the first to hold you in my arms. You were so tiny, I could carry your little body with both my hands. Finn started gaining weight so damn fast but you didn’t and we thought you’d never make it” he pursed his lips as you listened in silence, although you had heard him telling you this story many times when you were younger. “Every hour we had to feed you a bottle of formula and it was no bigger than my finger” he pointed his index finger in front of you as a measurement. “It seemed like a toy. But it worked, just look at you now.”
He turned to you and wiped your tears with his callous hands. 
"Tommy, why didn't you tell me Polly was so sick?" you asked quietly, grabbing his wrists.
"You knew she was sick."
"Yes, but not enough to..." To die, you wanted to say, but the words got caught at your throat. 
Your brother sighed and when he looked at you again, he seemed more tired than ever. 
"I didn't want to worry you unnecessarily. You have your life far from here, you yourself wanted it that way. Your priority is your studies, let me finish," he said, pointing a finger at you authoritatively. "What happened to Poll was so sudden, none of us expected this to happen and it has been a hard blow for everyone." 
“I didn’t say goodbye to her,” you muttered. 
Tommy held you against his body, hugging you tightly. “Me neither.”
You looked up at him, scrutinising his face. The rim of his eyes was red and his bottom lip trembled a little despite his attempt to hide it. He seemed somehow fragile. 
“Oh, Tommy,” you whispered, throwing your arms around his neck and letting him bury his face on your shoulder. You felt the wetness of his tears as you caressed the back of his head. “Next time something like this happens, let me know. Call me and I’ll come. I’m not a kid anymore, I’m part of this family too and I can help. You don’t have to go through stuff on your own. Alright?”
As he nodded slightly with his face still pressed against your shoulder you felt the sudden realisation that you had been mistaken most of your life. All you wanted to do was run away from your family in order to be happier, thinking that they wouldn’t need you after living through your whole childhood feeling like a burden, like someone whom they had to take care of.
For years you had hated them because it seemed that they enjoyed being miserable day and night, continuously fighting with each other… you never stopped to think about the reasons behind all those arguments or their actions. But you were older now and life had taught you that we are all humans and we all make mistakes. 
Now everything was different. For once you were the strong one, able to stand by their side to support them. This bunch of sad and broken people were your family and they needed you just as much as you needed them. 
Sometimes it was better to put some distance in order to see things from a different perspective, to heal, you realised as you held the shadow of the man who used to be like a hero to you during your childhood. At the end of the day you would always come back to the place where you belonged. The only thing you regretted was not figuring it out sooner.
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justmymindandstuff · 2 years
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This isn’t “goodbye”, this is simply “see you later” - Series Masterlist
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Part 1: Goodbye my lover 
Part 2: Without you
Part 3: cooming soon
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best-series-forever · 2 months
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teenwolf-theoriginals · 10 months
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evening shelby chaos
pairing: tommy shelby x reader + dad!tommy
warnings: mild swearing, violence, sex, over-protective/controlling tommy
summary: adjusting to a new dynamic after a new baby is the easy part. the hard part, dealing with tommy when his over-protectiveness explodes when he catches ava and rob’s romantic bond reach new levels
side note: another fic inspired by the shelby family from this fic
side note #2: other fics in the afternoon shelby chaos series: dad!tommy, mr giraffe, the boys, and her name is
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"Frances will tend to her". Tommy whispered as he saw your eyes shift towards the door. In the next room over, Eleanor resided, almost five months old, and already showcasing her Shelby personality; feisty, full of energy and charisma that shined in every room she graced. To help distract you, Tommy kissed down your neck. Your body arched closer to his touch, impatient to feel your husband. But Ella had other plans, her fussing getting louder and harder to ignore.
"Tommy".
"I'll get her".
Entering the nursery, it had gone through several changes to highlight each newborn. Ava's nursery had been subtle. Earth tones throughout, colour coming from the pink flower printed wallpaper. Charlie and Theo's only differed in the crib - Charlie's dark brown and Theo's navy blue. While Flo's had been bright, colours representing Mr Giraffe; cream crib, dark blue rug to match his bow tie and a splash of orange in the art that hung on the walls. And lastly, Eleanor's was a mix of reds and pinks, matching her strong Shelby allure. But the one item that remained a constant throughout was the grey chair nestled in the corner. The one where you sat during night-time feedings, the one where Tommy cradled Ava when he couldn’t sleep, watching her drift in and out of daydreams. And where the boys snuggled, carefully holding Florence as they met her for the first time.
"Charlie, Theo, the two of you should be in bed".
"Frances helped us with some warm milk and we heard her fussing". Theo whispered as Charlie made silly faces at Ella. Her tiny fist reached upward to grasp the air.
"And we wanted to make sure there were no monsters in her room". Charlie added.
"They are no monsters".
"What if they are invisible?". Theo gasped, startling Ella as he looked around the room, peering behind the curtain and under the crib.
"Invisible or otherwise, there are no monsters". Tommy replied, tapping each of them on the shoulder. "Go on, go to bed".
Making sure the boys did as they were told, Tommy stood by the door and watched them enter their rooms before meeting Eleanor's curious, bright blue eyes. "Mama and I need some time alone. Can you help me out, eh?".
She cooed in response, letting out a soft yawn. Tommy smiled and placed a gentle kiss on her forehead. He left the door ajar and returned to you. The sight of you naked in bed never grew old. He stood by the dresser, admiring the body that had given him five children. Your curves, full breasts, those fucking thighs that he loved to run his hands over.
"I can feel you staring".
He chuckled, licking his lips as he spread you across the bed sheets, resuming where the two of you had left off as if no interruption occurred. Tommy slid into you, gasping in unison when your bodies instantly welcomed each other. He moved slowly, allowing you time to adjust to his thickness.
"Tommy, don't stop". You breathlessly demanded, gripping his ass to keep him close.
However, the echoes of Ava's voice and another shifted Tommy's focus. He yearned for you, needed to feel you in such an imitate way again. But his mind coupled with his over-protectiveness took control. You could see it itched in his frowned brow and pursed lips. His concentration depleting, and not even a kiss brought him back to the moment.
"It's probably Ava coming home".
"I thought she was home". Tommy grunted, slowing his movements right when your body needed him most. Much to your exhale, Tommy slipped on a pair of loose pants, peering out the window. "She went to Johnny's camp again, didn't she?. Did you tell her she could go?".
Slipping on your white nightgown, you massaged his shoulders. Like the kiss, it had no effect. He licked his bottom lip, marching with a mission across the room.
"Tommy, don't".
"I told her not to see that fucking Rob guy". He retorted, throwing over a white linen shirt and leaving you frustrated in more ways than one.
The front door swung open causing Ava and Rob to pull away from their goodnight kiss. Rob backed a few more steps when he met Tommy’s murderous gaze.
"Ava, get inside".
"Mr Shelby, I was only making sure Ava got home alright". Rob reassured, hoping it would defuse the situation.
"I know what you're intentions are, you and I will have a word later. But first, Ava get inside".
"I'm 10 minutes away from curfew".
"Your curfew has now changed, get inside".
She exhaled, her spirited side inherited from Tommy clashing with his. Two bulls stomping at the ground, fury at the other for not listening and for growing up too fast.
"You and Mum said that when I turn 16 I can have a later curfew. It's 8 minutes away from 9 pm, I didn't do anything wrong!"
Tommy pointed a stern finger her way, lowering his voice to a chilling tone. "Get inside the fucking house". By now, Ava was all too familiar with her father’s temperament, knowing how to let it roll off her skin. Rob, however, was not. He swallowed the lump in his throat, wiping the sweat from his palms.
As you joined the tense scene unfolding, you wished you had taking few extra seconds to put on a warmer layer of clothing. A thin nightgown and matching robe did very little to protect against the bitter air. "Rob, thank you for walking Ava home. But I think you should leave".
"He’s not going anywhere until he and I have a word".
"Tommy, enough".
"Why do you have to ruin everything!". Ava shouted, Rob looked over his shoulder, catching a glimpse of Ava marching inside with you right behind, leaving Tommy standing alone under the starry night.
When he stepped back into the bedroom Tommy’s hands roamed over your body. Slipping out of his embrace, you looked towards your husband who displayed little sense of guilt for ruining the evening. "Are you really trying to get me back into bed after what you just did?".
"I didn't do anything wrong".
"You did several things wrong, Tommy".
He sighed, lighting a cigarette as he took a seat on the bed. You by the vanity, waiting until he inhaled a few puffs of nicotine.
"Ava's found a nice guy. One that should be running far away from this family, but isn’t. Because that is how much he likes our daughter. Why are you so hell bent on taking a good thing away from her? Tommy, this is her first love".
"Ava's 16, what does she know about love, eh?".
"She won't know anything if her overprotective father keeps getting in the way".
"I will not apologize for looking out for her".
"Rob's not going to hurt her".
"You don't fucking know that!" He shouted. "Our daughter's safety comes first, before teenage love, do you understand?"
"He’s Johnny's cousin, what danger do you think he possibly possesses?".
"I don't know. But until I find out, they are not to spend any more time together".
Kneeling in front of Tommy, you rubbed his knee. "I am begging you to stop. You can't keep controlling her every move".
"Everyone will follow whatever rules I make. And it will be the same for the rest of the children when they grow up".
You stood, shaking your head at Tommy's stubbornness. Once more, he tried his luck. Hands scrunching your nightgown, lips connecting to your shoulder, lightly grazing his teeth over your skin. "No, the window closed for that 20 minutes ago". You sternly replied taking his hand and placing it over his semi-hard crotch. "You're smarter enough to figure out the rest".
"I rather you stroke me, love".
"And I rather you didn't interrupt us to go yell at our daughter".
"I gave her an order, and she disobeyed. And why did she disobey? Because you told her it was alright to go see him".
"So your idea to get me back into bed is to blame me for your misguided behaviour?".
He drew the smoke inward, releasing it within a few glorious seconds of having it warm his lungs. "I say no, and Ava runs to you".
"Like how I say no and Flo runs to you".
"Ava's situation is about her safety, Flo just wants new toys".
"Tommy, we have two more daughters. I am not going through the same ordeal with Flo and Eleanor. I know your first instinct is to protect. But your tendency to protect often crosses lines".
"That's never bothered you before".
"I spent years learning and adapting to your methods, the children have not". You responded, handing Tommy the tray to extinguish his half-smoked cigarette.
"And like you did, they will learn".
"Before or after you ruin your relationship with your children?"
"Tomorrow, I will fix things with Ava, alright?”. Placing the tray on the small table by his side of the bed, Tommy kissed you, once again sowing the seeds of arousal. ”This is the first time in five months that I am able to touch you. So please, can we get back into bed and enjoy the rest of our evening?”.
"You can go to bed. I'm going to check in on Ella and then Ava".
"Come on, love, Eleanor’s asleep and Ava will most likely tell you to leave her be”.
“Goodnight, Thomas”.
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The next evening, Tommy came home to the dining table decorated with the pristine white cloth you only brought out for special occasions, and two candles positioned beside a small vase of daisies picked by Florence. You hadn’t noticed his arrival, too busy walking around the table straightening the crooked cutlery, wearing a knee-length, 3/4 sleeve navy blue dress. It wrapped around your body beautifully, Tommy’s eyes roaming over your curves. The urge to undo the belt holding the dress together prompted him to take a step forward, stopping when he noticed there were four plates instead of two. His mind telling him this wasn’t going to be a romantic dinner between husband and wife, making Tommy’s stomach churn.
"What's all this?".
You smiled his way, lighting the candles. "We are having a dinner guest".
"Who's coming?".
"Rob".
Tommy blinked, pressing his lips together. "Why the hell did you invite him to dinner, eh?".
"You want to get to know more about him, this is how you do it".
"And have him lie to me? Not a chance".
"Here's the deal”. You instructed, turning him toward the direction of the stairs. “You are going to get cleaned up for dinner. And for the sake of your daughter, Tommy, you going to sit down and behave".
"And if I don't?".
"You really don't want me to answer that, my love".
"You can't withhold sex forever. You enjoy it as much as I do". He teased, reaching for your bow belt.
You smacked his hand away, pushing him up the stairs. "Not getting sex is the least of your worries right now. Go wash up, I laid out a new suit for you".
Half an hour later, Tommy descended the stairs watching you warmly greet Rob. Ava beside him, holding his hand, providing emotional support. Tommy placed a soft kiss on the side of your forehead, and made sure your attention was secured on Ava before tightly squeezing Rob’s hand.
"Welcome to our home, Robert".
"Thank you, Mr Shelby". He said, grimacing through the pain, determined to hold his own, even if that meant a broken hand.
Much to Rob’s delight, you approached before bones broke. Tommy clapped Rob on the back inviting him to take a seat. Dinner moved at a snail’s pace. Tommy rather stare down the barrel of a gun than have to endure another minute of watching Rob’s puppy eyes linger on Ava, while her hand lingered on his knee.
“How about some tea and cake?”.
“That’s a great idea, love. Ava why don’t you go help your mother”.
Everyone knew the inevitable would come. Tommy wanting a private word with Rob was a father’s prerogative. Fire the hard questions, and make the boyfriend squeal like a pig heading to slaughter. In Rob’s case, they would be no squealing, just a Shelby-wielding axe falling hard and fast.
Reaching for his cigarette case, Tommy firmly kept an eye on Rob. “Do you smoke, Robert?”.
“Sometimes, yes”.
“Would you like one?”.
He shook his head, quenching his dry, blistered throat. “No, thank you, Mr Shelby”.
Tommy smiled to himself, sipping on his whiskey, more than ready to swing the axe. "How much?"
"Excuse me?"
"How much for you to walk away, go back to Johnny's camp and find yourself someone that isn't my daughter?".
"You must be joking?".
"I rarely joke, Robert. So tell me, what I have to do to get you away from Ava?".
"Why do you hate me so much? I treat your daughter well. I respect her. And despite many telling me that getting involved with a Shelby is a death sentence, I can see a future with your daughter".
Tommy chuckled at the naivety of the young. "You're 17, she just turned 16 a few months ago. The two of you don't know a single thing about love".
"No offence, but I don't think you're the right person to lecture us on love".
Tommy narrowed his gaze, lowering his voice. "My wife and I have built a beautiful family together. Made this house a home. Even when she had every reason to leave me, she stayed. She is the only woman I want laying beside me, and the only woman I want carrying the name Shelby. I would die for her. So don't you dare fucking lecture me about whether I know what love is".
"Then wouldn't you want the same for Ava? A love as timeless as yours?"
"I want Ava to be happy, above all I want her to be safe. To choose a man that can protect her. And I don't think you can do that".
"Because I'm not wealthy?". Rob retorted.
"No. Because to survive in this family, you can’t be weak or afraid of getting dirty and wiping blood from your cheek. You need to know how to step up like a man to protect your family, no matter what”.
“I can step up for Ava”.
“You’re a boy who thinks he is a man. You believe you can step up, and maybe one day, you can. But people like you are the ones who want to play at the big table too soon, who always have something to prove. But every time, every fucking time, those men end up pissing themselves. Even now, you can’t handle sitting at my table”.
“No disrespect, Mr Shelby, but I don’t appreciate having my character attacked. You only want to see me as a bad guy. But I’m worthy of your daughter".
You and Ava returned, breathing a sigh of relief to see Rob at the table, unharmed. Tommy stood in the foyer, adjusting his black coat. Frances mouthed one word as she wandered past with his peaky cap in hand - business.
“Please tell me you didn’t have someone call so you could have a reason to leave?”.
“No, I did not”.
You placed a finger under his chin, Tommy having no choice but to look at you. “Did you say anything to Rob to scare him away?”. 
“I behaved, like you told me to”. He smiled, kissing you. “I love you. I won’t be long”.
“I love you too“.
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When Tommy returned an hour later, an empty house awaited. Dinner had been cleared, no echo of Charlie and Theo pretending to be pirates, or the sight of Florence’s chestnut brunette locks and bright smile racing to say hello.
“Love?”. Tommy called out, noticing a note on the small round table in the middle of the foyer, reading: “Frances, the boys, Flo and I have gone for a walk around the estate. Be back soon”.
Removing his coat, a strong wave of protectiveness kicked in when Tommy’s eyes fell onto Rob’s sage green coat. Logic and reason disappeared as he marched upstairs, heart hammering in his chest when he stood in front of Ava’s closed bedroom door.
“Ava!”
Misty blue turned to blood red. Rob’s hand under Ava’s shirt, hair tousled, lips red. The intention was clear. And there was no angel sitting upon Tommy’s shoulder telling him to calm himself. Just two devils repeating “Kill him”. All the colour drained from Rob’s face as Tommy yanked him by the shirt, ignoring the cries from Ava to listen, to calm down.
"Dad, stop!" She begged, frantically rushing down the stairs. “Dad, please!”
Slamming Rob to the wall, Tommy’s hands would have to suffice, his gun locked away in his office. Rob struggling under Tommy’s deadly grip, struggling to collect air, to try and make amends.
"Mum, please make him stop!". Ava pleaded, rushing to you.
"Boys, take Flo outside. Now!".
They quickly ushered a terrified Flo back to the garden, Charlie covering her eyes to prevent her from witnessing the dark side of their father.
"Tommy, let him go!". You demanded, trying to loosen his hold on Rob.
He leaned in, ensuring Rob would never forget what he was capable of. "If you ever touch my daughter again. If you ever go near her. I will take a gun with a bullet craved with your name, and I will fucking kill you".
"Thomas!".
Letting Rob go, Tommy marched into his office, slamming the door. Ava rushed to Rob’s side. Her tear-stained cheeks would fade in a few hours, unlike the red mark across Rob’s neck, which would remain for days, weeks even. And when it did eventually fade, it would become an unforgettable warning, a reminder that he had only survived because Tommy had granted it.
"What the hell were you thinking, Tommy?". You barged in, right when he swallowed a glass of whiskey at his desk.
"His fucking hands were under her shirt". He clenched his already tense jaw, the sound of his teeth grinding as he growled. "Our daughter was about to have sex in our fucking house. And where were you, eh? Out for a fucking walk".
"I have four other children to look after, Tommy. Don't you dare blame me for this".
“Your priority should have been Ava. Frances could have handled the boys and Flo, and you could have been inside keeping an eye on him”.
“Keeping an eye? You found nothing of concern about Rob. He isn’t a criminal or a part of anything suspicious. He is an ordinary young man who likes our daughter. Our daughter, Tommy, who is smart and cautious. If she had a bad feeling about Rob she would never have continued a relationship with him”.
“What fucking relationship, eh?”. He remarked. “They’re fucking kids, who don’t know a damn thing about love”.
“We didn’t know a damn thing about love either, but we figured it out. They will too”.
Tommy sunk into his chair, glancing at the several photos nearby. The wedding photo stood in the centre, to the left a family photo, and to the right a picture of Eleanor three days after she was born. Beside that, a small frame housing a photo of Florence, no more than two years old, sitting in his office chair, smiling wide with Mr Giraffe on her lap.
“From the moment you rolled your eyes at me, and laughed when I called you beautiful, I knew you weren’t like any of the other women”. He recalled, softly smiling. “You weren’t desperate to fuck me. You didn’t care about my power or influence, you still don’t. You even had me waiting in the rain for 20 minutes on our fourth date. And when you finally arrived, you didn’t apologize, just told me good things were always worth waiting for”.
"I was surprised to find you still waiting”. You commented, leaning against his desk.
"I would wait in any storm for you”. Rising to his feet, Tommy rested one hand on your thigh, rubbing his thumb across the cotton material of your dress. “Before we slept together for the first time, I asked you if you were ready to give yourself to me. To belong only to me. And you did so, only when you were sure about us. You knew what laying in my bed would mean. But Ava is too young to decide whether to give away her body”.
“I hear you, I do. And it was my choice to give myself to you, Tommy. And I don’t regret that for a second. And it’s also Ava’s choice when and how, even with who, she decides to give her body too. Not yours. I know you hate it. I know you want to protect her innocence. But as parents, our job is to make sure our children are equipped with the knowledge to make safe and smart choices. We have to trust Ava”. Stroking his cheek, you softly added. “I don’t like the idea of her fooling around any more than you do. But how you handled it, wasn’t okay”.
“I know”.
“You frightened her. Not to mention the boys and Florence”.
At the mention of Flo, Tommy’s eyes softened completely. “How are they?”.
“Confused and scared. Especially, Flo. For fuck sake, Tommy, they saw you nearly choke Rob to death”.
"I never wanted Flo or the boys to see me like that”.
“Daddy?”. At the sound of Florence’s fragile voice, Tommy wiped his cheek, squatting to her level. “Why did you hurt Rob? Did he make you mad?”.
“He did, sweetheart”.
“What did he do wrong?”.
“He put his hands where he shouldn’t have”.
“Like you did?”. She asked, clutching Mr Giraffe.
“Like me, yes”.
“You have to say sorry, Daddy. When we hurt someone, we say sorry”.
“Florence, sweetheart, why don’t you go upstairs. Frances will help you pack a small bag”.
Nodding, Flo ran out.
“Bag? Where are you going, eh?”.
"To Linda's, where me and the children will stay for the night. And you will stay here and calm down”.
“I am calm”.
“No, you’re not, Tommy”. You replied, placing a hand over his chest. “You’re heart is racing. And you have that look in your eyes that tells me you still want to teach Rob a lesson. Which is why I will call Polly, and she will stay with you and make sure you don’t-”.
“Don’t what? Kill Robert?. I don’t need a fucking babysitter”.
“I’ll be back tomorrow to check in”.
“I love you. I need you to know that”. He whispered.
“Take a bath, shoot cans in the field to blow off steam if you have to. But make sure that tomorrow, that look in your eyes is gone”.
He counted your steps from his desk to the door, holding his breath when you reached the threshold and didn’t turn back. For the first time in the marriage, you hadn’t said those three words back.
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Tommy hadn’t slept all night, not even after Polly came to deliver her “Fucking men and thinking they always know best” lecture. Keeping her watchful eye on him until an hour ago. Once Polly left, the house became far too silent for his liking. He needed noise. Needed to hear the sounds of Charlie and Theo stomping around. Needed to hear Florence tell him about the adventures she and Mr Giraffe had taken that day. Needed to hear you say that you loved him. He needed his family.
Wandering into the nursery, Tommy drummed his fingers over the crib. Four children had grown up in this very room, the fifth on her way to becoming a grown Shelby. He thought about the challenges Eleanor would bring. Would she be defiant? To spontaneous? A rule breaker, following her own set of rules like her father? Or would she be a lover of knowledge? A restless soul craving new adventurers? Whichever version Ella grew into, Tommy knew she would inherit your goodness, your beauty. All the children had. They held love in their hands, savoured the laughter in their throats, and chased what their hearts desired - even if it only lasted a few hours. They were better than he was because they had you as their mother.
“Ava and I spoke last night”. You softly said. Tommy turned, hesitant but willing to listen. “She told me that hands under shirts is as far as it went. And I explained to her the responsibility that is attached to something as intense as sex. And she reassured me that when she is ready for that step, she’ll come to me first”.
“I don’t like the fact that this is even a topic of conversation”.
“We have two more daughters and two young boys. This conversation will happen again, Tommy”.
“Ava’s different, love. She’s our firstborn”. Putting his hands on the crib, he half-smiled remembering how tiny Ava looked inside. “That first month, you didn't step out of the house, too scared to leave her alone. And I sat in this nursery watching her sleep, making sure she was breathing. Now, she hates me".
"Ava loves you, and she will forgive you".
"I fucked up. I never should of...I fucked up and I don't know how to fix it".
Rubbing his shoulders, you kissed the back of his neck, whispering. “By taking baby steps. We’ll get through this. We’ll be okay”.
He sighed, holding onto you. Hoping that he hadn’t destroyed his relationship with Ava.
By late afternoon, you brought the children home. Tommy waited in the driveway, Florence rushing to tightly hug him hello, using her Shelby innocence to make Tommy promise to play tea parties sometime in the week. She happily bounced inside, Charlie and Theo rushing towards the kitchen to fill their bellies with the newest dessert Frances had whipped up. While Ava avoided eye contact with Tommy while they headed across the fields.
“Why are we here, Dad?”. She asked, noticing the familiar surroundings of Johnny’s camp and catching the smell of firewood.
“We're here so I can do the right thing". Tommy replied, nodding across the camp to Johnny who ventured off. “Ava, it’s not easy for me to watch you grow up. Sometimes, I see demons where there aren’t any. I lose my temper, and I do bad things because my priority is to protect our family. But I need to let you grow up. To let you become a beautiful, smart, extraordinary woman, just like your mother”.
Ava smiled, tucking her dark locks behind her ear. To her left, Rob cautiously walked over. Her eyes fell to his neck, bearing the red mark of Tommy’s violent temper.
Tommy cleared his throat. “Robert, I would like to apologize for putting my hands on you. It was not the way to handle the situation. And I should have trusted Ava's judgement. She wouldn't have you in her life if she didn't believe you were a good man”.
Extending his hand, it took a full minute before Rob did the same. This time, Tommy’s grip was firm but not deadly. Like men, they shook heads, nodded and signed a silent agreement never to speak of the incident again.
“It went well then?”. You asked, stepping out of the barn as you saw them approach.
Ava nodded, sheepishly smiling. “Now that Dad doesn’t want to hurt Rob anymore, does that mean I can see him again?”.
Glancing at Tommy, he starched his cheek. “Your father and I discussed it, and until we say otherwise, you can only see Rob under our supervision. No closed doors, no fooling around”.
“Can I see him tonight?”.
“Baby steps, Ava”. Tommy warned, flicking his cigarette and squashing it under his boot.
“Baby steps”. She repeated, leaving a kiss on his cheek.
You smiled, pulling Tommy to you. “I kind of love you, Tommy Shelby”.
“Kind of, eh?”.
“Alright, fine. I fucking love you”.
“I fucking love you, too”. He whispered, sealing such a feeling in a lasting kiss that left you breathless. “How quiet do you think you can be?”.
You pondered his question, giving a mischievous smile. “We haven’t visited our spot in a while”.
“By the lake? Under the oak tree where we conceived Theo?”.
“Where we think we conceived Theo. But, why not? The children are playing inside and anything they need Frances can help with. The weather is nice. And-”. You tugged on his shirt, suggestively biting his lower lip. “And I don’t feel like being quiet”.
He smirked, sparking a shiver down your spine. Intertwining your hand in his, Tommy grabbed the checkered blanket from atop the hay bale, leading you across the dirt road and beyond fields.
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padfootdaredmetoo · 6 months
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Fathers & Family Master Post! All the family stories I have are below! (Peaky Blinders & Bullet Train)
Peaky Blinders
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Grab an End - Thomas Shelby & Teen Ruby Shelby
Ruby sneaks off to a party and needs Tommy’s help - Hurt / Comfort / Father daughter feels / coming of age
Moving Out - Thomas Shelby & Little Ruby Shelby
Little Ruby has had enough of Tommy’s BS - Hurt / Comfort - father-daughter feels / fix it/ happy ending
Sick - Thomas Shelby & Little Ruby Shelby
Ruby is on death's door, Tommy and family try to nurse her back to health
Da - Thomas Shelby & Little Teddy Shelby
The Kid’s first words & Tommy’s reaction - Super Fluff
We Are Not Good Men - Thomas Shelby & Adopted Teen Daughter Pt.2
 Reader is adopted when Tommy discovers that she had been working for him as a maid at 15 years old. Extreme fluff & hurt comfort. Hugs. Nondescriptive mentions of assault and beatings
A Vacation - Thomas Shelby X Reader & Family
Tommy needs to step up as a father, when his wife is pregnant again and put on bedrest a vacation is in order. Tommy takes them to stay in Cornwall and the reader watches everyone change for the better.
A Day at the Fair - Shelby boys & Finn
The boys promise him a day at the fair and it doesn’t go as planned - featuring lots of Tommy and Lizzy, plus Arthur and John
London Calling - Shelby Sister Reader
 (Shelby sister) has had enough of her family’s nonsense, she escapes to do things on her own. Only to find out years later the cause of her pain wasn’t what she thought it was.
First Hit - Finn Shelby Comming of Age
An outing takes an unexpected turn and Finn thinks its him time to step up. Featuring lots of kid Finn, buckets of innocence, lots of Tommy, and Lizzy to the rescue.
A Monster Under the Bed - Thomas X Reader & Daughter
Tommy helps a girl with an unexpected request that leads his heart somewhere it hasn’t been before
Closing Walls & Ticking Clocks - Thomas X Lizzie & Adopted Reader
who knew verbally assaulting a nun would win you the perfect family - Series
Growing Pains - Shelby Family & Reader Sister
Reader is the youngest of the Shelby clan and is often excluded due to her softer nature. When she gets hurt at the pub one day it quickly becomes everyone’s problem to fix it and make things right
Dad? - Tommy Shelby & Little Baby Sister
The last Shelby is born just before the war, when Tommy comes back caring for her is one of the only things he finds peace in.
Red - Thomas Shelby X Pregnant Reader
Redhead Reader finds out she’s pregnant with Tommy’s babe. This follows their wonders about what their child will be like.
Betrayal - Thomas Shelby & Reader Daughter
Reader is Tommy’s daughter. When she gets involved with a boy from a rival family, she knows that there is a lot on the line. Unfortunately for her, things don’t end well, causing Tommy to recall what it was like being in love with someone who stabs you in the back
Teddy Bear - Alfie & Little Girl from the Streets - Pt. 2
The reader gets lost wandering the streets, when she sees what she assumes is a bakery she sneaks in hoping to steal some scraps…. She gets caught by Alfie, initially terrified of his big size and loud voice she realizes he’s not so bad after all.
Allergies - Tommy Shelby X Reader Daughter
Thomas meets an unspeakable setback as he welcomes his new daughter into the world
Nonsense - Reader & Little Charlie Shelby
No one can understand what’s bothering little Charlie - no one except the reader
American Girl - Shelby Family & Sister Reader
The reader finds out more about her distant family after her Grandparents pass.
Her Father's Daughter - Thomas Shelby & Little Ruby Shelby
Follow up head cannons about how much Ruby adores her father.
Dresses - Thomas Shelby & Reader Daughter
While the ladies of the Shelby family are on vacation you realize you still need to find a ballgown for the big dance. Thankfully your dad is available.
Not a Child Anymore - Thomas Shelby & Reader Daughter
Tommy struggles with his daughter as she starts exploring the world of dating - After falling for Isaiah he catches them and all hell breaks loose
Me, Adopted? - Thomas Shelby & Reader Son
Charlie & Ruby play a prank on their little brother and tell him he's adopted.
I don't want to grow up - Tommy's daughter finds herself in an uncomfortable position while all the women are out of town - father-daughter comfort fic
Bullet Train
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Values - Tangerine X Reader - Series
Tangerine can't help himself and decides to mess around while on the job - resulting in a very pregnant reader trying to track him down.
Adopt a Fruit - Tangerine & Lemon & Small reader child
A young girl falls into the hands of our two favorite assassins
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markiafc · 3 months
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