Say what you want about The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals and Black Friday but Nerdy Prudes Must Die is truly the darkest timeline because it doesn't feature Peanuts the Hatchetfield Pocket Squirrel™️
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Dan and Donna are such an interesting ass duo. They've appeared more than the main character of Black Friday. They're the news anchors. They're played by a married couple in real life. There's probably something going on behind the scenes between them. They're a meme. The only thing they talk about is a squirrel who they misgender constantly. Pamela Foster wakes up and neglects her children to watch one of them. Knowing Hatchetfield they've probably killed someone in either self defense or cold blood. They've blamed each other of murder. They've covered the protests live at the Hatchetfield Kennel. Nick and Matt will never elaborate on any of the lore I just mentioned.
Us as a community have no choice but to stan.
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Proud Papa Ed appreciation post
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Clivesdale residents: We really have no idea what happens in Hatchetfield but-
Ted, Charlotte and Sam: *Singing randomly as they go about their day*
Grace: *Cheerfully murdering guys with a book to a chorus of screams*
Professor Hidgens: *Screaming on and on about ridiculous conspiracy theories*
Sherman, Linda and Tom: *On their knees worshiping some kind of stuffed doll*
Alice and General MacNamara: *Randomly jump out of the bushes to shoot them down*
Peanuts the pocket-sized squirrel: *Cheering them on from General MacNamara’s pocket*
Ziggs and Danny: *Smoking weed*
Deb: *Is in a scream-fight with Bill right next to them*
Paul and Emma: *Casually flirting as this all goes down but stop every once in a while to cuss out the Clivesdale residents*
Clivesdale residents, grimacing: At this point, we really don’t want to know.
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Absolutely going insane over the fact that Peanuts shows up in Black Friday and I haven't noticed it either of the times I've watched it, or any of the times I've watched What If Tomorrow Comes, until having it explicitly pointed out.
HE'S THERE
THE FUCKER IS RIGHT THERE
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Guys… we’ve been misgendering the squirrel…
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Peanuts the Hatchetfield Pocket Squirrel is an Avatar of the Extinction.
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No but try to convince me that Peanuts the Hatchetfield pocket squirrel isn't a sixht lord in black
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Day 7: Brown. So here's Peanuts, The Hatchetfield Pocket Squirrel.
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I don't care what Nick Lang says Peanuts the Hatchetfield Pocket Squirrel is EVIL and I will NOT be stopped from exposing the TRUTH
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okay, but, Paul "cat disguised as a human" Matthews or Paul "Mutant Anthropomorphic Squirrel" Matthews?
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NERDY PRUDES MUST DIE IS SO GOOD OMGGGG
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he likes to nibble around in your pocket
if there's an apocolype he'll survive it
OH HE'S YOUR GUYYYYYY
IF YOU EVER NEED ONE
he's pocket SIZEDDDDDDD
if you ever see one
he's at a meteoric riSEE
peanuts the hatchetfield pocket squirrel!
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