#pedro is one beefy man

[beefrobeefcal]

okay so mr. fantastic. i am sooooo bummed about this because i have atomic marvel fatigue. but objectively, marvel has been consistently awful lately, and pedro is so above this now. (i think a part of him will always have a struggling-actor-sized-chip on his shoulder, making him unable to say no to these kinds of roles. i mean that and the millions of dollars they’re probably throwing at him)

BUT, to the important stuff. i don’t think pedro will (or can lmfao) get into six pack shape, even for marvel. i don’t think it’s necessary because lots of marvel suits have been cgi lately (spider man would be the perfect comparison here). i think they’re gonna slap him in some grey tracking pjs and edit his body. if they have any sense they’ll keep his dad bod, his fan base is rabid about it not in spite of it.

while i’m here, i’d like to place my bed that they will poke fun at his dad bod à la david harbour in black widow. i bet it will be something like him realizing his stretchy powers and suck in his stomach and stretch into the “perfect” body, then let go. seems like a super lame and mildly fatphobic gag marvel would do.

Why would you say something so controversial yet so brave, Nonnnie?

All jokes aside, I do agree about Marvel fatigue (I haven’t felt hype for an MCU project in a hot minute), but let me be clear: my love/need/appreciation for Peepaw will obliterate any concerns I have for this project.

I sat thru The Bubble (no hate no shade to those who enjoyed it). I paid an obscene amount of money for a French dvd copy of Strange Way of Life (shame me for my impulse control). Baby, if seeing Pedro on the big screen means I have to sit through a movie franchise that I legit have no interest in - I WILL.

That being said, I saw a post earlier today that indicated Peepaw is at his peak beefiness (hello me and my call sign) and he’s been cast as one of the thinnest super heroes. Gotta be honest, cgi or not, that BTS shot we’ll get of him in mocap suit will make all this worth it imo.

AND IF YOUR PREDICTION IS TRUE, NONNIE, I WILL NOT SURVIVE. YOU HEAR ME? CHIEF DADDY HOPPER IN BLACK WIDOW MADE ME LOSE TIME AND SPACE. I WILL NOT BE ABLE TO HANDLE IF THAT IS PEEPAW AT THE END OF THAT NARRATIVE.

Thank you, Nonnie, for your thought provoking ask!

What-a-man-what-a-man regards,

Beefro👌🥩💜

#you asked beefro answered #beefro is trash for fat pedro #beefro is trash for pedro #pedro pascal #pedro pascal characters #pedro pascal fanfiction #pedro pascal tummy #🥩 #you ask beefro answers #thot tank

[firsttarotreader]

Don’t know why but whenever I see this type of pics my mind goes to the fact that this man could literally pick me up with one hand and throw me over his shoulder lol. He’s so big and I’m tiny next to him, he could pick me up like a leaf 😂 I’m just trying to appreciate his determination to keep himself so strong and beefy, that’s quite some body at 48. He looks amazing, we know he’s taking care of himself and I’m just so happy for him. We need this man strong and healthy!! just for the sake of knowing he’s alive and thriving even in 30 years when maybe he’d be retired already. So Pedro, keep moving cause it’s good for ya, keep drinking the green smoothies, and keep being awesome. (I’ll convince myself he’s reading this blog with his morning coffee) 😅

Pedro, my love, while you read the blog with your coffee, you get this message, right? 😚😚😚😚

[marvelous-mushroom-lady]

So I decided to watch a TLOU part 2 gameplay and I am NOT OKAY.

HEAVY SPOILERS AHEAD MY DUDES:

Start to just before that *scene*:

Joel telling Tommy about everything while meticulously cleaning a guitar. Almost like it’s a touchstone.

Little Ellie drawing everything as a little exercise in therapy

Joel being such a sweet Papa Bear  That facking cover and his voice breaking and Ellie can’t help but respond and smile I cannot

”It did not suck” Young miss Ellie continuing her little shit era proudly OK Jessie no need to be this hot AND have a southern accent AND being a good bro AND a queer ally of course no one this perfect will last long

Honestly Dina should’ve just dated both of them 

Well then! Watched the weed lab scene at work, like a horny dumbass. This scene is perfect but also I am spoilered to death so it just makes it worse. 

“You make me want to walk out into the storm”“Who’s stopping ya?”

Godddang it sapphics quit it! (Hits the ladies with the horny stick)Who even needs foreplay here, really? 

Dina has got so much game I do not know how Ellie so much as hesitated. 

Jessie being annoyed that the girls were smoking and boning on patrol and for no other reason at all is very much the greenest of flags

The look on Abby’s face when they introduce themselves

Tommy and Joel being nice and trusting towards the very beefy lady who knows how to use a gun is peak character development and also very upsetting that this was their true downfall. Joel from five years before would never. Can’t wait for this to be played by our sweet Pedro. 

Joel and Tommy being Dads asking Abby if she’s okay and being so concerned. 

Joel and Tommy being led by Abby to (their demise) the hideout.

Honestly fack Abby’s dad. Dude had a bachelor’s degree in Biology and didn't even bother to train anyone else in the very likely case he would die. He deserved that death (thematically only not morally) just for that giant god complex. 

“You act like you’ve heared of us” Oh Joely, baby, sweet prince. Sorry about your leg man. 

I watched cut clips of this scene in video essays years before but yea shit hits different when you watch it like a movie. And Ellie running around the woods. I didn’t play the game but desperately running to look for him must be a new kind of narrative torture. 

Thanks this was brutal. Ellie’s screams man. God Ashley did good here. I felt torn apart along with her. And knowing this is gonna happen was as bad as watching the show’s version of Sarah’s death. I had to take a break after that. 

Edit: Continued to watch without really recording any coherent thoughts so everything else will be summarized into an “end of watch” review because I always have such bad vertigo after watching for more than 30 minutes of gameplay. 

Also I am highkey into Abby and I now understand why we the queers claimed her she is so gosh darn pretty I hope they find an actor who can embody this vulnerability in a tank body. 

#tlou #tlou spoilers #tlou game #tlou gameplay #the last of us series #the last of us hbo #The last of us Ellie #the last of us joel #the last of us tommy #the last of us abby #the last of us spoilers #the last of us spoiler #the last of us review #the last of us reaction #tlou reactions #the last of us part 2 #tlou part two #tlou part 2 #tlou part ii #abby anderson #tlou spoiler #tlou part 2 spoilers #tlou part 2 spoiler

[miru-has-thoughts]

I love that you, a wrestling blog, has come to bat for me, a Joel Miller/Pedro Pascal blog. I fucking love you LOL

😂😂😂 I LOVE THIS.

Actually, this account was meant to ramble and post arty things I love. Then I rediscovered wrestling and have fallen deeper in the rabbit hole.

BUT I do actually have an account where I write fanfics for different famdoms, which is why I felt the need to call out this stealing, lying rat.

I will say, one thing the wrestling blogs and the Joel/ Pedro blogs have in common is that we LOVE our beefy middle aged men 🥰

Your Pedro blog reminds me that I have met/interacted with him before. A friend of mine was casted for "The Great Wall" and I talked with him on several occasions while visiting set. He's a really nice and VERY charming man that loves deep conversations about any topic really...but I digress.

#moral of the story #we love our comfort middle aged men with back problems #also...don't steal works THAT ARE NOT YOURS!!!!! #wrestling #pedro pascal

[howaboutcastiel-personal]

I am supposed to be writing right now

and...technically I am, just not the right thing. I should be working on the next chapter of Fire Within My Soul or planning the next Make Your Acquaintance installment or word-vomiting Mandalorian porn onto a Google Docs document, but I don't feel like doing any of those. I think that my brain is good and properly broken for today, so I'm just going to use my word-spraying energy to write on here, because I had therapy today anyway and journaling is good practice.

I cried in therapy today, which is something I have done a total of three times since I began therapy. That is to say, over the last 9 or so years with about 7 or 8 therapists. It doesn't happen often. I fucking cried about Bill and Frank, if you could believe it. Actually, more accurately, I cried over Joel's fucking reaction (or lack thereof) to Frank and Bill's partnership. I don't even think that's what the show was going for, I think they were focusing more on the fact that Joel isn't able to call Tess his partner. Either way, the prospect of straight men being indifferent to or (god forbid) supportive of queer men??? That is just a fucking wild ass concept. Obviously, I am not a queer man. I am... something else, and I have a whole slew of internalized misogyny that I don't think I will ever remedy, but it still hit me personally. Because I just don't know any good men. I just fucking don't. Definitely not the ones in my family, except for Poppy but he's got dementia and he's also a fundamentalist Christian. None of my school teachers, that I can recall, were good men, though the ones here at school seem decent (actually, just Bitzer. Something is Wrong with Feeney's view of the world). None of the ones at church. I don't even have to explain that part. Jesus Christ. Except actual Jesus Christ was a better man than all of them by many, many metrics.

That's one of the things that upsets me about both Oscar and Pedro. Like, they genuinely seem like good men from the image they choose to display of themselves. They're genuine allies, they reject toxic masculinity, and they just seem like... good fucking guys? And they also happen to be attractive. People on the internet tend to say that you're a lesbian if the only men you're attracted to are through parasocial relationships--or just straight-up fictional men. But I think the genuine issue here is not that I'm gay, it's that the men around me just fucking suck. They genuinely suck. To be fair though, many of the people around me, regardless of gender, fucking suck. I think COVID permanently ruined all of us, as well as our ability to empathize and just all-around be normal fucking humans. I know I hold myself to an impossible standard, but I've started holding everyone else to that same standard, and now I just hate everyone.

Oops.

Anyway, Dr. Randall wants me to focus on the idea of fulfillment. What is fulfillment to me? What does it mean to "be Jonah" successfully? Well, let's start with the physicality of it all. I want to be skinnier and also much more toned and strong and beefy. Don't get me wrong, I am fully aware that being beefy means gaining weight and muscle mass, but I have a lot (a lot) of excess fat I can lose, so it would still be a significant size difference. I want to have strong, thick arms and a toned chest. I want to have a stomach that doesn't stick out past my boobs (which for me is absolutely doable, have you fucking seen my tits?). I want to have an ass and thighs that are toned and strong, not just "thick." I want all of those things so that I don't look like fucking Spongebob when I try to dress masculine.

That's the thing. I look good in feminine clothes, but I don't fucking want to. I don't want to have to be exclusively feminine to be socially acceptable. I want the kind of female body that is allowed to be masculine, so I look like a powerful woman instead of a blue-haired liberal when I dress how I want. And I know how that sounds. I just want to be that way, I'm not commenting on anyone else's style.

I want to be able to try new things, and I want to be able to come home from work at 5 PM and be okay with just cooking dinner, washing dishes, showering, and going to bed. I want to be able to allow myself to have leisure time, and to be un-depressed enough that leisure time actually means something to me.

I also want companionship. I'm starting to think I want a true partner, platonic and romantic and sexual, but honestly I'm so desperate for genuine affection that any kind of companionship will do. With a decent person, that is. I get plenty of attention now, but from people who I only surround myself with because my options are slim. I don't know what I need to do to find such companionship, because I do NOT want to use a dating app, but I just... want it. I want a best friend. I want someone to hold, and someone who will hold me. It can't be that much to ask, and I guess that it isn't. My issue is just that, because someone is a decent person, doesn't mean they're an attractive person to me. Even if I'm not aroace, I'm still grey-aro and grey-ace, and that makes this shit all the more difficult.

Anyway, it is now 4:49 and I need to leave work soon. My thighs hurt from squatting to stock bookshelves and going up and down stairs so much today and yesterday. The good news is I'm not in unbearable physical pain and shitting my brains out today. The worst thing I'm really experiencing is a headache, which I think is from all of the straining to not throw up that I did yesterday.

Anyway... have a much-too-long journal entry from a person who becomes more and more visibly autistic every single day. I do not know how to feel or express my emotions anymore, and I operate almost like a complete robot. I don't want to kill myself right now though, so I'm vibing. The numbness is much less painful than the alternative.

#diary

[marvelmando]

mando is so beefy here are you fucking kidding me

#pedro pascal #pedro is one beefy man #i want to BITE #what the fuck is he so wide for #din djarin fanfiction #din djarin #grogu #the mandalorian season 2 #the mandalorain fanart #the mandalorion spoilers #the mandalorian #baby yoda

[bearificationtransformations]

Pedro gets huge

Pedro had  a strong, tanned, well-built physique, dark eyes and jet black hair, and a little scruff every now and then. Sometimes he let his body hair grow out a little.  He had looks that would go on the front of magazines, the kind women, and men, would faint over. It suited him well, as he was a trainer who had a number of high-profile clients in the LA area. 

 He did some modelling, He was almost an icon in southern California fitness scene, particularly in the world of cross-fit. 

 Pedro was invited to a fitness conference at one of the fancier hotels in the LA area, complete with a room near the pool. The conference was an expo of all kinds of different companies, some of which he did not know. Many offered protein shakes as samples, protein cookies. All kinds of things which Pedro munched on as he walked around. 

 At one table, which was in the corner of the expo hall and not attended. he saw a new product they were giving away. “Bear Strength formula”, supposedly. By some French company called “Énorme ” Pedro was a little more than skeptical.. With no one around, and just a sample laid out for him, Pedro just took it, and even grabbed a second bottle for good measure. As he walked around the expo, viewing different stalls, Pedro sipped down the bear strength formula, not thinking anything of it. Then as he moved along, he broke open the second bottle and drank that.

 After about an hour, Pedro got tired of the expo and went  up several flights of stairs to get to his room, He felt kinda warm and sweaty, and couldn’t figure out why. He got up to his room and was about to change into his swimwear for a late night dip in the hotel pool, when he noticed something… his shirt button down shirt felt tight. In the mirror he saw that it looked a little more snug on him than before. 

 He ran to the bathroom turned on the lights to get a better look. He felt kinda bloated. He rubbed his abs, and out came a loud belch. Unknown to him, Pedro’s whole body swelled just a little bigger with that belch.And then he  let out another large belch. ‘Too many protein shakes’ he thought. But something was not right. His shirt was tighter than ever. The buttons were straining and he could feel it constricting his arms and shoulders. 

 All of a sudden, his white button down began to feel like it would rip  at his shoulders, his arms and in particularly at  his midsection.  He looked down to see  a belly forming underneath his shirt. 

 "”What the-" het let out.  Suddenly he belched once more, the bulge growing as well. Soon, a button popped off, and Pedro turned back to the bathroom  mirror. 

 "What going on....?" he asked himself. His abs were gone. , and his muscles looked bigger but less defined. And his trimmed body hair had grown in thicker than ever.  A belly could be seen through the tight white shirt, curving out and getting quite round.. Off came another button, his gut growing bigger and visibly hairier. He let out another burp, his whole body swelled. Now a large naked and very hairy gut was in front of him, and it was getting bigger. His whole body was growing heavier, bulkier, and much hairier. 

 He placed his hands to his face. His short beard was growing longer in front of his eyes. He moved his hands down his expanding body, placing his hands on his new furry gut, trying to push it back down. He only felt it growing bigger and rounder with every belch that he let out. His pecs had grown larger and much, mucher hairier. He was getting hair everywhere!, Pedro’s butt was rounding out dramatically, his legs and arms beefing up, gaining mass. . His face filled out and his beard grew to an unruly length. His powerful, muscular  thighs swelled larger. He moaned and groaned, standing there helpless as he grew. 

 Finally, he let out one last might belch, and he stopped growing. He stared at himself. "What is this?" he asked, grabbing at all new mass, running his hands over all the new fur.  He was huge. Like a football lineman or beefy powerlifter… and hairier than any man he knew. He had a full carpet of hair now covering his huge, bulging torso. 

  "This is a dream... that's all..." He looked like he had bulked up way too hard. Sure his arms were huge, his chest was massive, his shoulders and back was wide and powerful- but it was  his gut that he couldn’t get over. It stuck out far from his beefy body.

 He flexed his muscular, beefy thighs and arms fit his huge frame. He sauntered his way to bed, the rest of his pants tearing off with every step. He laid down, gut faced up. He couldn't see past it,  had grown so large, so hairy. He was a huge bear of a man.

 Pedro paced around his room. He wasn’t sure what to do. It appeared the growth had stopped, but he wasn’t sure. He put on his gym clothes and headed to the gym in the hotel, which was large.  hoping no one would recognize him in his new size, he took a towel.  His shorts were tight, but nothing else fit, certainly no shirts fit him now, so he pretended he was going to swim. 

 Pedro was shocked by the man in the mirror. He was enormous, and covered in thick fur. He was truly a beast. Part of him was horrified by the loss of his lean physique, but another part of him was excited by this new mass, and this new fur. He was a powerful bear of a man. He decided to do some cardio, maybe lift a bit, if the hotel gym would have anything heavy enough for the big man.

 He stepped on the scale, shocked to see it read 310 pounds.  He had gained over 100 pounds in one evening. 

 “Fuck” he moaned “I’m huge” and he snapped another pic in the locker room.

 Just then he let out another large burp.

Pedro felt his body swell once again. Muscle and fat piling onto his body, growing him larger and larger. The bench underneath him groaned under the increasing weight. He was just glad no one was around to see him blow up like this. The locker room was empty.

His chest, belly, shoulders, everything seemed to swell larger still. He guess he was well north of 350 pounds now. He waited it out, belching a few more times, and then growth seemed to subside. He took another shot to survey the damage. He was absolutely enormous.

‘Man’ he thought ‘I really shouldn’t have had two of those shakes’

The 400 pound hulking bear eventually got up and looked around. Even his towel wouldn’t fit him now. He felt so huge. Like a tank. Every movement was slower and more deliberate. Just bulk everywhere, every inch of him was so blown up.

At least, he figured, he could have a great career in powerlifting with a body like this.

#transformation fiction #bearification #gaytransformationfiction.

[mandoalorian]

I know that this has been mentioned in previous posts, but I'm curious if there are any pedro characters who you especially headcanon as bi?? (with the exception of oberyn obviously who is canonically the baddest bicon in westeros)

Yeah so I mentioned before that I do actually HC all his characters as bi but sure, I suppose I can justify a few right now ;-;

Din Djarin — no one in space is heterosexual. periodt. maybe palpatine? FACT IS, grogu has TWO dads now. luke and din. and that’s iconic. a lot of people ship cobb and din, or paz and din, or din and omera, and i like how his character displays enough versatility for all those ships to be plausibile! din is a beefy dilf bisexual and he will do anything to protect the ones he loves.

Maxwell Lord — listen, i know a chaotic bisexual when i see one. this man cannot be stopped. he makes a lot of donations to lgbtq+ charities, holds fundraisers etc. hc’ing our maxie as bi brings me so much comfort.

Ezra Prospect — when it comes to love, or even just... general life, he sees no gender. it’s not important to him. he’s capable of loving anyone no matter who they are, where they come from or what their story is. he has a big heart and although he might struggle to open up, once he does you know you have him for life.

Marcus Pike — he is bi and he wants everyone to know about it. he embraces it, he’s loud and proud. he attends pride festivals every year and every june he bakes cupcakes and decorates them with icing pride flags. and he brings them into work.

Dio — dio is 100% bi. he even has a bi flag hanging over his bedroom door.

#rach answers #the mandalorian #din djarin #dio nypd blue #shane dio morrissey #marcus pike #ezra prospect #max lord #maxwell lord

[wyn-n-tonic]

if i see one more fucking person say that Pedro needs to get his shit together re: his weight or he's not gonna make a good Joel Miller, i'm gonna light a motherfucker on fire. as somebody who used to lift weights, i don't think you realize how quickly you change when you start out doing it consistently. also, Joel Miller is a thicc bitch, Pedro is FINE. nobody had a problem with his beefiness in WCBH but you're all acting like you're his personal nutritionists when you see him eat some gelato and it's gross. let him enjoy his ice cream and his life on the few days off that he gets. man has been working his ass off for over two decades and has earned this. he also had an extremely hard fucking year with a pandemic the way we all have. and if you're still butthurt after this, please remember:

#apparently body shaming is fine when the victim is rich and a man who knew?

[proxylynn]

Hello and welcome back to today's segment of:

"Fictional men I would sell my body to at a discount price, the discount being free, because I would never make these fine gentlemen pay for a wh*re like me."

Today's gentlemen is SunnyDayJack.

Ever felt slightly confused and aroused by IT from Stephen King? I'm not gonna unpack what this says about you, just that this might be one of the many reasons you're into this himbo clown...

I don't know much about his height or how big he is under that belt, let's just assume as big as this lovely man's heart. Yeah, THAT big. Damn, you're getting ripped tonight...

One might look at Jack and go: "Bro, how much do you lift?!" The answer is simple: Yes.

Enough to lift your soul, body and mind.

A paradox being, railing you mercilessly during the night and making you pancakes in the morning. Maybe as an apology of what he did to your hole/s? Who knows? Anything is possible with this beefy clown of a man.

If you're having a praise kink, this man will deliver like it's his (after)life goal to worship every ounce of your being, or every pound you take from him so well.

Oh, to be suffocated by his gorgeous ghost clown titties...

That's it for today's episode!

Join me next time to find out which character I'm throwing this slab of meat at.

Jack: *trying to hide in his shirt but it's too tight*

Lynn: Awwww...With all the flattering things you say to butter me up, look at ya now.

Peter: Well that's an image I didn't need in my brain.

Pedro: I'll give ya props...Dude is jacked. Mad respect.

Mal: Himbos...Why are you a thing? What's to fucking great about a beefy clown?!

John Doe: *inhales deeply* Ah...The smell of envy and jealousy is strong in here. *dark chuckles*

[miranhas-art]

Hey, Love your art btw ❤️!!! You make Pedro and his characters beefy and I’m here for it!!! I just wanted to ask do you us references for your art? And if so, where do you usually look for some?

Thank you so much!! I love my beefy boys.

I don't wanna sound like a snob but, my references are basically my memory. In 99% of my drawings they are just made up, I just sit for a long while visualizing what I want, of when I'm lucky, the composition just comes to my mind.

The moment to put in the paper, which is the actual deal, it's when I need to concentrate with what I want, try to put in paper and when I'm not able to make it work, I change the composition for something maybe more simple or that I can work throught with what I was able to draw.

Since I don't have a background of drawing technic, what I do is basically what I was able to come up with during my years of drawing in class, waiting for something or during the night. So what I put on paper is literally what my mind comes up with and what my hand is able to reproduce.

I don't recomend doind that because:

1. It takes a lot of time;

2. I'm sure you're able to find any position you want online, which will make it so much easier to know where to put a line, how to position a body/someone

3. It makes you grow faster in skills and you actually learn how to draw stuff.

But I would be lying if I said i don't use references, because we have that 1%.

I use references when I want to draw things I'm not familiar with (animals, objects, babies), and since my drawings are usually not very much diverse, I don't use a lot of reference, so in these cases I just got to google and search: man holding a baby, man on a bicycle with a baby (yeah, that happened one time but I never acted on it).

I also use references using my own body, and that's the weird part. I use my body as ref while doing arm position, but it's funny because I just do the pose, then I do like "let me feel it" and go back to drawing. I don't use mirrors or anything because I draw in the most stupid places and there are no mirrors aroud so I just feel the pose and visualize it lmao

My tips is? use technology at your favor, google it and you'll find a lot of good refs and use them as a learning tool, understand how the line works and make your own way to do it, so when you don't have access to refs, you'll remember how to do it, because you developed your own wayy to do it :)

I hope this was useful and that I don't sound like an a hole lmao

#mari talks

[gwynbleidd-or-whatever]

I posted 10,298 times in 2021

8 posts created (0%)

10290 posts reblogged (100%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 1286.3 posts.

I added 2,639 tags in 2021

#witcher - 736 posts

#star wars - 641 posts

#the mandalorian - 523 posts

#clones - 215 posts

#boba fett - 193 posts

#pedro - 114 posts

#horses - 105 posts

#doctor who - 39 posts

#lotr - 38 posts

#jango - 35 posts

Longest Tag: 131 characters

#i would be grateful if you would make cha hakyeon even busier so that he can't bother me. he and i have a very distant relationship

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

.

0 notes • Posted 2021-04-26 17:07:37 GMT

#4

people like iron bull since he's big, unashamedly into kinky sex with no gender preference but also super good with consent, scarily smart and very respectful of limits. it's just the unfortunate reality of some parts of the DA fandom being racist or various shades of homophobic either towards him or his non player LI. (he's poc coded, not straight and promiscuous so therefore he's aggressive and misogynistic. fun times)

ok so people just hate seeing a hunky sexy man live his best life, i get it

1 notes • Posted 2021-06-12 05:02:30 GMT

#3

Galaxy, rose, and 1975 for your ask game!

galaxy; what fascinates you?

I’m someone with loads of interests, so *so many* things fascinate me. It would take me forever to list them all. I’d say the thing that I’ve been fascinated with the longest would be animals. I’m the worst person in the world to go to any place with animals with (like an aquarium, for instance), because I can sit and watch them for hours and hours.

rose; favorite flower?

Probably magnolias! That or hydrangeas. I love cut flowers and bringing them inside, but there’s just something about a massive plant covered in them.

1975; if you could time travel to any time period, what would it be and why?

The medieval period for sure!

1 notes • Posted 2021-04-29 00:58:57 GMT

#2

One of the funniest things in the witcher universe to me is that yen has that stuffed unicorn for ~adult purposes~ and then it's shown that unicorns are hyper-intelligent multi-dimensional beings. Like that was somebody, queen...

2 notes • Posted 2021-04-23 18:05:51 GMT

#1

nah white het women find the iron bull threatening & misogynistic, apparently.

But he's beefy...

3 notes • Posted 2021-06-12 01:11:52 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

#my 2021 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #Me #2021

[proxylynn]

Hello and welcome to the last (for now) segment of:

"Fictional men I would sell my body to at a discount price, the discount being free, because I would never make these fine gentlemen pay for a wh*re like me."

Today's gentleman/-being (?): John Doe.

With a height of 5'8" and a weight of 112 pounds this man will, quite literally, change your whole world.

He's flexible as he is mysterious. Not into men? Doe's got you covered.

Not into skinny people? He'll get as beefy as you see fit.

Not into this either? Oh boy, he'll get as thicc as the garbage pile in his home.

He'll meet every preference you have, and I mean EVERY preference. Your wish is his command.

I don't know what's stronger his smell or the urge to clean every inch of his body with just my tounge...

He might not be the best at comforting you, but who needs comfort if you have so many possibilities with this man? Be it having a giant schl*ng, tentacles or a p*ssy to rail... The possibilities are endless like the void you'll be living in with him.

"Oh, what a coincidence your home is a dumpster and my stomach is a dumpster for your unborn children."

Whose crazier Doe or me, for fantasizing about all my holes getting ravaged by his eldritch tentacle genitalia? The answer's unknown.

This man or his hair can eat me up and spit me out like the trash I'm willing to be for him.

Well that's it for today's episode.

Join me next time to find out who I'll be throwing this slab of meat at.

(Oh boy, that was fun and rather graphic... Sorry xD)

John Doe: . . . *blinks a couple times, each one making a different sound till he looks at the floor and then at the others*

Lynn: You okay, dear?

John Doe: Is it okay that I feel really really good about that?

Lynn: Of course, Doe. That's fine.

Peter: *folds his arms and mumbles* Son of bitch can do the things I want to do.

Pedro: 112 pounds? How the hell is he so light?!

Jack: I'm proof there's an afterlife. And Doe is proof that I don't ever want to move on to find out what happens.

Mal: As fucked up as that thing is...I gotta respect the power.

(Oh, don't be sorry, these were great! I love it.)