#pee wee is getting in the Christmas spirit early

[catladychronicles]

#pee wee #meow #catladychronicles #mostlycatsmostly #cats #cats of tumblr #pee wee is getting in the Christmas spirit early #adorable

[tinyshe]

Garden Report 19.12.14

The winds have finally ripped all the leaves off the trees except for the stubborn holly.  We are in to some real cold so I am hoping that my finger will have healed and I can do ladders for pruning fruit trees.  My finger? Yes, this plastic picnic-ware, taped to my finger, is the equivalent to a dog’s ‘cone of shame’ (tm) -- we call it the ‘spoon of disappointment and despair’ (tm).  It is the consequences of short temper meeting with bone china plate in the wee hours. With a tourniquet, we slowed the flow and used a goodly quantity of livestock medical sulfur we still have about;  dusted  to staunch the flow then padded it up. I just can’t afford another medical bill so we were hoping this would be the ticket. So far so good: day 3. I can now drive and shift without fear I will break the plaster and start spiriting blood on the windscreen. Go to go! So go I did!!

It was pedi day and in the process she said “ and pull up that damn lemon tree on your way out! I’m tired of looking at it!” I wasn’t going to look a gift tree twice and wonder why so I did as she bid and placed it in the rubbish bag she thrust at me. I lovingly place her (the lemon tree) in the cab with me and my parcels and headed home! I had just enough soil and a pot I pinched from Kath to make things right again.  I managed to get it in my little greenhouse lean- to we did early this Autumn.  The little lemon tree is now keeping my worm bin company. I need to do something though because when the rains come down, it is like having a big bass drum outside your bedroom window … All. Night. Long.

Been trying not to worry about the job situation too much. St Theresa is keeping my roses going, reminding me to keep the Faith -- three different bushes are holding tight even with this weather and some how the blossoms are not freezing.  Speaking of freezing: the lettuce and mustards are none too happy.  The kale and cabbages are doing grand.  Next spot I get of fine weather I want to dig up some garden berries to interplant with the sea buckthorns. I also want to start searching for my Asian pear root system.  It has been there 10 years but I want to move the little thing -- it is not thriving -- just surviving.  I am still thinking on the fig and remembering my Ukrainian high bush cranberry hedge I left behind [in my past garden].  I have some hard pruning and shaping ahead of me first! OK -- second; job first! Well that is another type of pruning and shaping, isn’t it?! Job search and new employment?

I also came to the realization that in my neighborhood and beyond, they are removing all the trees. Big beautiful trees! Many people are also ripping out anything that resembles a garden/ yard/ landscaping [don't get me on what is happening to hedgerows]. Even the city is removing shrubbery. Why? Low maintenance? Less hiding places for creepers? Insurance purposes? I don’t know what the reason but the results are all the same: less habitat for birds, pollinators, butterflies, spiders... which I had to catch my three orb weavers and rehome them just outside the back stoop. I have anacrophibes ? anocrophiles? people/person who are deathly fearful of spiders … so out of respect for both man and creature, I moved the friend creature to safer local.  But I’m talking in bunny trails! Back: The realization that there is now no habitat except at the green zone and my garden.  My garden is now an island! An island that is not adequate -- I need more evergreens/ shelter.  I will move the  bird bath to the back and seal the basin (its a big cement thing). I will have to think about a larger platform feeder … not too sold on the idea. The gulls have set up sentinels and know my routine.  So when my boys [ravens] appear and start crying, I have a huge pack of aggressive seagulls descend within seconds. That and that hawk that has decided city living is very fine with all the squab dinner!  Platform feeder -- dinner platter. Me thinks not! I don’t want to feed hawk nor gulls -- yes, I have prejudices/ favourites.

I have several pairs of doves now residing in my ancient camellias. I forget they are there, they [camellias] are so big and trimmed up like trees. Holly and camellia; check. Both evergreen but I need strategic placement and bushy for the littler birds for night roosting. They can use the hedge sea-poppy by day. Then there is the boxwood and privet and a topiary coneyaster but those are all so close the thorough fair (both pedestrian and street traffic) that I would not feel safe … especially with all those dogs that people seem to like to have but bring to YOUR yard for them to poop and pee in. IDK

The seed catalogues have been coming in late November and December. They will come through January … precursor to Spring migration when the postal carrier grumbling under a load of seed packets and plant starts arrives. It truly is a gardeners seedmas season where we dream as we make stars and hearts next to lovely pictures of our new loves and circle around ideas, dreaming, planning … and jingling our change purse...

Merry Christmas!

#gardener #catholic gardener #habitat #birds #creatures #spiders #bird bath #evergreens #winds #shelter #gardens are islands #death of big trees #people are crazy #green zone #lemon tree #worm bin #greenhouse #lean to #roses #freezing #winter #autumn #transplant #transplanting #gardening #gulls #ravens #pigeons #squab #bird feeders

[cksmart-world]

The Completely Unnecessary News Analysis

By Christopher Smart

Dec. 10, 2019

LIES: AFGHANISTAN — VIETNAM REDUX

We leaned a lot from the Vietnam War. In 1971, Daniel Ellsberg made public reams of classified information — “The Pentagon Papers” — that spelled out the lies the American public had been fed for over a decade about the conflict in Vietnam. More than 58,000 Americans died in Vietnam; 10 times that many came home broken. Well, we won't let that happen again. Oops. Information revealed this week shows that Americans have be lied to about U.S. involvement in Afghanistan. Since 2001, more than 2,300 have died and 20,589 have been wounded in action — say nothing of PTSD and suicide. Documents obtained by The Washington Post reveal that “senior U.S. officials made rosy pronouncements they knew to be false... hiding unmistakable evidence the war had become unwinnable.” WTF. Like Vietnam, American leaders knew little about Afghanistan and what U.S. armed forces were up against. The administrations of Bush, Obama and Trump didn't know how to fight the war or what victory would look like, according to former military leaders. As the monetary cost of the conflict approaches $1 trillion, we have to ask, when will this country stop this shit. “Osama bin Laden is probably laughing in his watery grave,” one retired Navy Seal observed. And, of course, none of it speaks to the cataclysm we created in Iraq that continues to kill, maim and displace uncounted victims.

A.G. BILL BARR — MUPPET ON STEROIDS?

Behind that avuncular uncle disguise, who is Attorney General William Barr, really? The mask slipped a bit when he reported the Mueller Report exonerated the president of everything from high crimes to misdemeanors. So, in an effort to more fully understand the AG, the staff here at Smart Bomb set out to get the skinny on the fat man: After some sleuthing and speculation, we determined that Barr is actually a frustrated Muppet on Ibogaine. This is very serious — he appears to be something like a cross between Uncle Deadly and Big Mean Carl. We're still not sure who the puppet master might be, but it's someone sinister, like Steve Bannon or Freddy Krueger. In recent speeches, Uncle Nut Barr, as we shall call him, preached that our democracy was under attack by secularist who accept heavy petting as a societal norm.  He railed against “the unbridled pursuit of personal appetites at the expense of the common good.” (And, no, he wasn't talking about Trump.) Barr insisted that liberals were “engaged in a war to cripple, by any means necessary, a duly elected government.” But the gravy on the biscuit is Uncle Nut Barr's rejection of his own Department of Justice report that the FBI's investigation into Russian collusion with Team Trump was not a Deep State coup d'etat, as Trump and his minions insist. As Barr said on Fox News Channel For Real Americans: We're not paranoid, it's just that they're all out to get us.

10 WAYS TO ESCAPE IMPEACHMENT NEWS

1 – Want to get away? Take a trip to the high plain of Bolivia and smoke quinoa.

2 – Book a two-week intensive course in mind-melding at the Mojave Oasis Spa & Zen Center.

3 – Download the entire collection of Pee Wee's Playhouse and tell work you've got the flu.

4 – Drive to the Provo Town Square, tell people you hate Trump and get booked into the Utah County Jail.

5 – Get a copy of “Kachka: A Return to Russian Cooking,” a gallon of potato vodka, check into the airbnb in Panguich and reenact every scene from “Doctor Zhivago.”

6 – Go backpacking in Afghanistan.

7 – Stock up on smoked sardines and pickled herring and binge watch Game of Thrones in your mother's fox fur stole.

8 – Hire some Rastafarians, charter an out-rigger in Fiji and go searching for Amelia Earhart.

9 – Find a bar in Oceanside, California, order a beer and a shot and tell the gnarly-looking guy next to you that Marines are a bunch of chickenshit Jar Heads.

10 – Or paddle up the Amazon River to the base of the Andes and tell the Bird People that the iPhone 11 is coming. Either that, or risk insanity by trying to equate two opposite realities.

PLEASE MELLO OUT ON THE SLOPES

A Park City man is facing felony charges after prosecutors say he choked a 17-year-old girl on the slopes. (We did not make this up — it appeared in the Park Record newspaper in Park City.) Unofficial sources close to Smart Bomb believe the young woman may have been talking about impeachment when the man, a Trump supporter, suddenly went nuts. But other witnesses claim the perpetrator had too many cappuccinos and his disgust of tourists just came out. Whatever the truth is, it's fortunate the man was not armed. In Utah, it's legal to ski with firearms. Luckily, most tourists are unaware of this tradition. Imagine the carnage if skiers began targeting snowboarders. Arguments over space in the overflowing parking lots would look like the OK Corral. In order to minimize conflict, our ski host consultants have made several recommendations: Don't talk about politics or football on the chairlift. And under no circumstances mention the president's relationship with Jeffrey Epstein; or the Runnin' Utes loss to Oregon. And if all else fails, offer them cannabis gummy bears on the way up the mountain.

Post Script — It's been another crazy week here at Smart Bomb where our staff Pagans are getting restless as the Winter Solstice approaches. In less than two weeks, the sun will begin to climb back in the northern hemisphere and the days will grow longer at tinsy, tiny intervals. This year, Christmas comes early as the Utah Legislature will soon huddle in a pre-holiday special sessions to cut taxes by $160 million. But at the same time they will reinstate a 4.85 percent sales tax on food to make sure poor people — those slackers — pay their fare share. Republicans love to cut taxes. Trump's tax cut — $1.9 trillion over 10 years — is a gift that will keep on giving (to our national debt). Between state and federal taxes, middle-class taxpayers will be rolling in dough. Now you can buy that second home in Coral Gables and live next to millionaires and billionaires who get the real tax cuts. But once they see your Honda, they may be moving out. This is America, after all.

All right, Wilson, we'll light the incense while you and the band take us out with a little something for our Pagan spirits:  Rhiannon rings like a bell through the night / And wouldn't you love to love her? / She is like a cat in the dark  / And then she is the darkness / She rules her life like a fine skylark / And then the sky is starless / All your life you've never seen a woman taken by the wind / Would you stay if she promised to you heaven? / Will you ever win? / Will you ever win?...

[sincerepositivethings]

Issue Sixty-Seven

[TODAY'S SECRET WORD IS: "undertaking"] I love a holiday special. New or old. Musical or not. Peanuts or non-Peanuts. I don't care, but give me your stories of characters trying to celebrate a thing but it all goes wrong but then it works out in the end and I'll never get tired of it. Longtime readers of Sincere, Positive Things may recall that I highlighted Pee-wee Herman's blog back in Issue 22, which has provided us with an all-new holiday special. Pee-wee (who has himself already contributed one of the finest Christmas specials in the game) has inspired the next generation of holiday special makers in the form of Roosevelt, a young boy who has created his own Pee-wee Halloween special. For fans of the classic Pee-wee's Playhouse, you'll see Roosevelt (with the help of his parents and siblings) interact with Chairy, Konky, the food in the fridge, the King of Cartoons and several other Playhouse pals. You'll see some real ingenuity in the way the anarchic spirit of those original Playhouse episodes played out, and you may even hear an audio cameo from the actual Pee-wee, recorded just for Roosevelt! If that's not enough hand-made charm for you, you can enjoy the first Pee-wee project launched by Roosevelt and his family: a full recreation of the movie Pee-Wee's Big Adventure! Quarantining isn't the most fun thing in the world, but it has certainly provided folks with the time to tackle some incredible undertakings! (Undertaking?!) AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Even longer-term readers know that I still read the newspaper funnies, and am a big fan of the new blood that's been injected into the comic strip Nancy in the form of Olivia Jaimes' fresh take on the character. Well, now comics stalwart Mark Trail is following the same model, and so far so good! If you're not familiar, Mark Trail is a nature photojournalist whose assignments lead him into encounters with poachers and other environmental criminals and-- I'm not going to mince words, it's boring. The new artist/author, Jules Rivera just started two weeks ago and it would appear things are going in a very different direction. The magazine that employed Mark is now part of a media conglomerate and has made him a freelancer for all of their publications. He is being sent to investigate a ranch, and we're still pretty early in the story, but it seems as though this Mark might have... escaped from the ranch? And maybe he's a clone? I can't say for sure at this stage, but I'm along for the ride! The very start of the story is now behind a paywall, but the link below will take you to the oldest one you can currently get for free and will start you out right as Mark takes his first new assignment for Teen Girl Sparkle Magazine!

[gunboatbaylodge]

Things to Do in Vancouver This Weekend: Dec. 14, 2017

A happy Hanukkah weekend! Read on to find out how you spend the next few days  wandering through giant lanterns, watching The Nutcracker, learning about Solstice, having breakfast with Santa, running with elves, or being delighted by drag.

Friday | Saturday | Sunday | Ongoing

Friday December 15

Chinese Lantern Festival

Chinese Lantern Festival Where: Hastings Park What: As the largest festival of its kind in Canada will feature 35 illuminated displays transforming over 14 acres. Lantern festivals started during the Han Dynasty, about 2,000 years ago. This festival will be embracing traditions with elaborate new lanterns featuring Dragon, White Pagoda, Kylin, and Huabiao Column, each symbolizing a Chinese sage or legend. There will also be two nightly performances in the PNE Amphitheatre featuring acts such as face changing, acrobatics, and folk dance. Runs until: Sunday January 21, 2018

The Nutcracker presented by the Goh Ballet

The Nutcracker presented by the Goh Ballet Where: The Centre in Vancouver What: This heart-warming production is sure to delight audiences of all ages with more than 200 glittering costumes, dramatic sets and valuable lessons. Experience Clara’s dream come to life as she embarks on a magical journey through the Land of Snow to the Kingdom of Sweets where she is greeted by the enchanting Sugar Plum Fairy. Runs until: Tuesday December 19, 2017

Breakfast with Santa

Breakfast with Santa Where: Grouse Mountain What: Start your day of festive fun by treating your family to breakfast on a mountaintop with face painting, a magic show, and a visit from the jolly man in red himself. Runs until: Sunday December 24, 2017

Rebels on Pointe

Rebels on Pointe Where: VanCity Theatre What: If you’ve seen one Nutcracker too many, this might be the film to restore your love of ballet. Their first show was on September 9, 1974, at a second-story loft on 14th street, in the heart of Manhattan’s Meatpacking District. Since then, all-male drag troupe Les Ballets Trockadero de Monte Carlo have been delighting audiences around the world, performing, among other things, Swan Lake as Tchaikovsky never imagined it in his famously feverish dreams. Runs until: Saturday December 23, 2017

Good Tidings! A Good Noise Gospel Christmas

Good Tidings! A Good Noise Gospel Christmas (show 1 of 2) Where: Christ Church Cathedral What: For 14 years, Good Noise has been lighting up the festive season for sold out audiences of all ages with their bright and boisterous sound coupled with a rafter-raising energy. The 90-voice choir will perform rousing gospel Christmas favourites and new arrangements alongside the luxuriant and lush vocals of Canadian jazz songstress Maureen Washington.

Vivaldi’s Four Seasons

Vivaldi’s Four Seasons Where: Chan Centre What: Philippe Quint, one of the most lyrical, elegant, and poetic violinists in the world today, will perform this enduring favourite, on the magnificent 1708 “Ruby” Stradivarius violin.

Kitty Nights Pee Wee Burlesque Christmas Special (show 1 of 2) Where: The Rio Theatre What: Exactly what it sounds like. Go see for yourself.

Deathmas Festivus Where: The Rickshaw What: A charity event featuring local metal bands from Vancouver and the Lower Mainland. All proceeds go to the Greater Vancouver Food Bank.

Vancouver Canucks vs. San Jose Sharks Where: Rogers Arena What: It’s a hockey game.

Avstin James Where: Venue What: This Vanocuver native specializes in upbeat mashups such as Backseat XE3 (Kendrick Lamar X Whethan), Back 2 All (Drake X Manila Killa), and Ark Night (Chance The Rapper X Ship Wrek ). 

Holiday Hooray!

Holiday Hooray! Where: The Vancouver Playhouse What: Bring the kids to sing along to frosty favorites while you move along with miniatures from “The Nutcracker,” “Babes in Toyland” and other sparkly holiday classics. Accompanied by a brass trio.

  Saturday December 16

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Celebrating Solstice

Celebrating Solstice Where: Stanley Park What: The chestnuts are roasting and holly has been hung. But where do these traditions originate? Explore the history and customs of mid-winter festivals on this two-hour walk. See the plants that have played pivotal roles in the traditions and decorations that we associate with the holiday season and hear stories from different cultural traditions surrounding the shortest day of the year.

空 / Emptiness: Emily Carr and Lui Shou Kwan

空 / Emptiness: Emily Carr and Lui Shou Kwan Where: Vancouver Art Gallery What: The exhibition pairs Canadian modernist Emily Carr with the founder of the New Ink Movement in Hong Kong Lui Shou Kwan. Looking across culture, geography and time to explore expressions of the sublime in landscape painting, the exhibition draws connections by exploring how each artist experimented with abstraction and spirituality in their respective depictions of nature. Runs until: April 8, 2018

Weirdos Holiday Market Where: 2244 East Hastings What: Why settle for giving the usual, and receiving the polite response du jour? Instead, you could be offering up an item from Alt Beauty Hair Adornments, edgy hand-crafted accessories with a goth twist; Dirt Spindle, usable but unusual pottery pieces that have been fused into the shape of human mouths, nipples, feet and hands; or Mush Appreciated, beautiful, educational and strange jewellery with mushrooms as the main focus. Runs until: Sunday December 17, 2017

A Baroque Christmas: Bach and More

A Baroque Christmas: Bach and More Where: The Orpheum What: The great Baroque composers knew how to write music that virtually dances with joy. Make it a party and celebrate the Christmas season like thy did in the 1970s with Bach, Vivaldi and carols for all to sing.

Good Tidings! A Good Noise Gospel Christmas (show 2 of 2) Where: Christ Church Cathedral What: For 14 years, Good Noise has been lighting up the festive season for sold out audiences of all ages with their bright and boisterous sound coupled with a rafter-raising energy. The 90-voice choir will perform rousing gospel Christmas favourites and new arrangements alongside the luxuriant and lush vocals of Canadian jazz songstress Maureen Washington.

Big Elf Run Where: Stanley Park What: This holiday-themed fun run offers a 1km Wee Elf Run, 5km or 10km Big Elf timed run/walk around scenic Stanley Park. In true elf spirit, the event rallies around fun & charitable support as a proud partner for Canuck Place Children’s Hospice.

Santa Arrives at the Britannia Mine Museum

Santa Arrives at the Britannia Mine Museum Where: Britannia Mine Museum What: Santa’s sleigh is in the shop so he’ll be arriving by helicopter! Be sure to arrive early to see Santa land, then stay to enjoy photos, crafts, and hot chocolate.

Keithmas 8 Where: The Rickshaw What: An annual celebration of the birth of Rolling Stones legend Keith Richards and that other holiday…Christmas. 100% of proceeds go to the Greater Vancouver Food Bank.

Kitty Nights Pee Wee Burlesque Christmas Special (show 2 of 2) Where: The Rio Theatre What: Exactly what it sounds like. Go see for yourself.

A Caelestra Christmas Where: Presentation House Theatre (North Vancouver) What: Five talented musicians perform in full medieval costume with rich vocal harmonies, and music played on flute, harp, guitars, hand drums & cello. It’s a captivating way to get into the holidays with Yuletide music both old and new.

  Sunday December 17

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Puttin’ on the Glitz: Hollywood Musical Gems

Puttin’ on the Glitz: Hollywood Musical Gems Where: VanCity Theatre What: Film scholar Michael van den Bos presents a celebratory show of movie musical marvels. Michael will introduce a selection of star-spangled clips from some of Hollywood’s splashiest, swankiest musical films. Style is the substance in this blitz of glitz that’ll have you all lit up like a Christmas tree.

Sleepy Girls X-Mas: Days of Christmas Past Where: 3923 West 4th Ave What:  A musical romp in the style of A Christmas Carol but with some of Vancouver’s most talented drag performers including Peach Cobblah, Rose Butch, Shay Dior, Misty Meadows, Ilona, Dee Blew, and Maiden China.

The Barr Brothers

The Barr Brothers Where: The Imperial What: Some chill folksy music from Montreal.

It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia Trivia Where: The Biltmore What: Are you an expert in bird law? Have you perfected the use of the Dennis system? Are you just cultivating mass? Is your favorite food milk steak? Then bust out your checkered hat a pipe and get yourself down to It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia trivia.

Vancouver Canucks vs. Calgary Flames Where: Rogers Arena What: It’s hockey.Watch the western Canadian teams in this game to see who is better at it this time.

  Ongoing

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Almost, Maine Where: Pacific Theatre What: The midwinter night is cold and clear as the northern lights dance above: it’s the perfect night to fall into, or out of, love. A charming tapestry of the joys and perils of romance, set in one night in a small town in Maine. Runs until: Saturday December 16, 2017

East Side Flea Where: The Ellis Building What: 50+ local vendors, makers, vintage sellers, oddity finders. Play pinball and pool. All this, with a bar! Runs until: Sunday December 17, 2017 (weekends)

Eric Rohmer: Ancient and Modern

Eric Rohmer: Ancient and Modern Where: The Cinematheque What: As evidenced by our retrospective heretofore, the bulk of Rohmer’s distinguished, decades-spanning career can be surveyed through his trio of acclaimed cycles: Six Moral Tales (1962-1972), Comedies and Proverbs (1981-1987), and Tales of the Four Seasons (1990-1998). But some of the cinéaste’s most accomplished and formally-audacious films were crafted outside of those series, as stand-alone works untethered to an overarching theme or conceit. This program is of four series outliers. Runs until: Sunday December 17, 2017

Weirdos Holiday Market Where: 2244 East Hastings What: Why settle for giving the usual, and receiving the polite response du jour? Instead, you could be offering up an item from Alt Beauty Hair Adornments, edgy hand-crafted accessories with a goth twist; Dirt Spindle, usable but unusual pottery pieces that have been fused into the shape of human mouths, nipples, feet and hands; or Mush Appreciated, beautiful, educational and strange jewellery with mushrooms as the main focus. Runs until: Sunday December 17, 2017

The Nutcracker presented by the Goh Ballet

The Nutcracker presented by the Goh Ballet Where: The Centre in Vancouver What: This heart-warming production is sure to delight audiences of all ages with more than 200 glittering costumes, dramatic sets and valuable lessons. Experience Clara’s dream come to life as she embarks on a magical journey through the Land of Snow to the Kingdom of Sweets where she is greeted by the enchanting Sugar Plum Fairy. Runs until: Tuesday December 19, 2017

Little Dickens: The Daisy Theatre

Little Dickens: The Daisy Theatre Where: The Cultch What: An adult-only marionette retelling of A Christmas Carol. Runs until: Friday December 22, 2017

Christmas Queen 4- Secret Santa Where: Vancouver Improv Centre What: The previous three editions of Christmas Queen saw HRM (Her Royal Meanness) hilariously thwarted in her attempts to ruin Christmas. This year is no exception. Confusion and hijinks ensue when the Queen and Santa exchange bodies in a Freaky Friday-style magical sleight-of-hand. What happens to the Workshop’s Toy Factory with The Queen as Santa in charge? Will there be presents? Will everyone receive a lump of coal? How will the experience of inhabiting the Queen’s body affect Santa? Will he learn something about himself and her that will change Christmas forever? Runs until: Thursday December 23, 2017

Christmas Queen Drag Race Where: Vancouver Improv Centre What: What happens when two queens get together? A lot of racy, outrageous hilarity and wicked wit. Join Vancouver TheatreSports’ very own Christmas Queen with her special guest co-host, drag star The Unstoppable Conni Smudge for five very naughty (but nice) late-late night holiday season shows. Runs until: Thursday December 23, 2017

Carol Ships Harbour Cruises

Carol Ships Harbour Cruises Where: Vancouver Harbour What:Each December the boats of Vancouver are decorated with holiday lights. Get right on the water for a dinner tour and get a unique view of the coast, the mountains, and the coastline’s holiday spirit. Runs until: Saturday December 23, 2017

Rebels on Pointe

Rebels on Pointe Where: VanCity Theatre What: If you’ve seen one Nutcracker too many, this might be the film to restore your love of ballet. Their first show was on September 9, 1974, at a second-story loft on 14th street, in the heart of Manhattan’s Meatpacking District. Since then, all-male drag troupe Les Ballets Trockadero de Monte Carlo have been delighting audiences around the world, performing, among other things, Swan Lake as Tchaikovsky never imagined it in his famously feverish dreams. Runs until: Saturday December 23, 2017

Vancouver Christmas Market

Vancouver Christmas Market Where: Jack Poole Plaza What: Get into the holiday spirit in a new location right on the harbor front with a mix of traditional food and beverage, a selection of authentic wood carvings and toys, knitted goods, nutcrackers, pottery and other unique gifts. Stop off at the special Kid’s Market to make Christmas gifts and ride downtown Vancouver’s only Christmas carousel. Runs until: Friday December 24, 2017

The Day Before Christmas Where: Arts Club Theatre What: Alex is a perfectionist who is desperately holding fast to her Christmas traditions. While juggling family and work—and a movie star—she loses control of her holiday plans, and her home becomes a disaster zone. Can she save the turkey from the dog and salvage a broken-down tree? Find out in this infectious comedy that is sure to make the holidays bright. Runs until: Sunday December 24, 2017

Breakfast with Santa

Breakfast with Santa Where: Grouse Mountain What: Start your day of festive fun by treating your family to breakfast on a mountaintop with face painting, a magic show, and a visit from the jolly man in red himself. Runs until: Sunday December 24, 2017

Karaoke Christmas Lights

Karaoke Christmas Lights Where: The Vancouver Trolley Company What: Get on a festive Vancouver Trolley and ready your singing voice – this tour is for the most enthusiastic spirits of the winter holidays! Equipped with a TV and a karaoke machine loaded with Christmas music favorites, you’ll be toured around the city to take in some of Vancouver’s most dazzling light displays. Runs until: Wednesday December 29, 2017

Glow Christmas

Glow Christmas Where: Langley, BC What: Take a stroll through a musical light tunnel, where you’ll feel the warmth and wonder of the Christmas season under the glow of over 500,000 lights. Runs until: Saturday December 30, 2017

Cirque du Soleil: Kurios Where: Under the tents, Downtown Vancouver What: Step into the curio cabinet of an ambitious inventor who defies the laws of time, space and dimension in order to reinvent everything around him. Suddenly, the visible becomes invisible, perspectives are transformed, and the world is literally turned upside down. Runs until: Sunday December 31, 2017

Onegin Where: Arts Club Theatre What: When Evgeni Onegin visits the Larin family estate, his romantic charms stir passions long forgotten by its residents. Poet Vladimir Lensky’s romantic ideals are challenged (a duel!) after Onegin flirts with his fiancée Olga Larin, and even the sensible Tatyana Larin falls for the handsome rogue. The hit musical moves, shakes, and wakes audiences with its sweeping score. Runs until: Sunday December 31, 2017

Site for Still Life

Site for Still Life Where: Contemporary Art Gallery What: Andrew Dadson’s practice engages with the notion of boundaries in relation to space and time, primarily through investigations with materials, process and abstraction. Comprising new, ambitious large-scale paintings, film and installation, this exhibition presents a major statement by this young artist of propositions core to his practice. Runs until: Sunday December 31, 2017

The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe | Image by Tim Matheson

The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe Where: The Waterfront Theatre on Granville Island What: Four siblings step through a wardrobe into an enchanted land filled with mythical creatures, talking animals, quests and dangerous secrets. Featuring Sereana Malani as the White Witch and Ian Butcher as Aslan, with Tim Carlson, Chris Lam, Adele Noronha and Kaitlynn Yott as the Pevensie siblings. The first installment in C. S. Lewis’ epic Chronicles of Narnia series, The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe is one of the best-loved books in children’s literature. Runs until: Sunday December 31, 2017

Entangled: Two Views on Contemporary Canadian Painting | John Kissick burning the houses of cool man, yeah No.5 (hang the DJ), 2016 (cropped)

Entangled: Two Views on Contemporary Canadian Painting Where: Vancouver Art Gallery What: An insight into two distinctly different modes of painting that have come to dominate contemporary painting in this country. The origins of both can be effectively traced back to the 1970s, to a moment when the continued existence of painting was hotly debated. Runs until: Monday January 1, 2018

Math Moves

Math Moves Where: Science World What: Visitors will investigate ratios and proportions, using their bodies, gestures, and words to set up, measure, describe and compare ratios and proportions. The exhibition encourages a collaborative approach to problem-solving, with open-ended activities that provide opportunities for visitors to talk about solutions to the challenges presented in the exhibition. Runs until: Monday January 1, 2018

Heritage Christmas

Heritage Christmas Where: Burnaby Village Museum What: Stroll through the streets of the Village to see wreaths, cedar swags and vintage-themed displays will. At the bandstand, visitors can create their own magical holiday show with lights that change colours to sound. Runs until: Friday January 5, 2017

East Van Panto: Snow White and the Seven Dwarves

East Van Panto: Snow White and the Seven Dwarves Where: York Theatre What: In this East Van tale, our hero flees the Queen of North Vancouver across the Ironworkers Memorial Bridge and lands straight into the madness of the PNE, where she dances with SuperDogs, hops a ride on the Wooden Roller Coaster, and befriends washed-up 80s rock stars “The Seven Dwarves”. Runs until: Saturday January 6, 2017

Bright Nights at Stanley Park Where: Stanley Park What: Take a train ride along a route filled with lights, displays and live performers with the whole family. Donations and a portion of ticket sales go to the BC Professional Fire Fighters’ Burn Fund. Runs until: Saturday January 6, 2017

VanDusen Festival of Lights

VanDusen Festival of Lights Where: VanDusen Botanical Gardens What: Experience a winter wonderland with over one million lights. Stroll with friends and family through interactive themed areas, enjoy the famous Dancing Lights show on Livingstone Lake, look for roving Scandinavian gnomes and reindeer in the garden, light a candle at the Make-A-Wish candle grotto, take a photo with Santa, enjoy tasty treats and take a carousel ride. Runs until: Sunday January 7, 2017

Peak of Christmas

Peak of Christmas Where: Grouse Mountain What: Sleigh bells ring, choirs sing! Grouse Mountain presents a magical celebration and a multitude of festivities. Bring your family to Santa’s workshop and meet reindeer, or take a sleigh-ride through a mystical alpine forest. You can also experience the tranquil beauty of skating on an 8,000 square foot mountaintop ice skating pond, surrounded by snow-topped trees or wander through an outdoor holiday lights display. Runs until: Sunday January 7, 2017

Christmas at FlyOver Canada

Christmas at FlyOver Canada Where: FlyOver Canada What: Fly with Santa and his elves on a magical flight across Canada and on to the North Pole! Join two elves as they take flight across Canada looking for their friends. You may even get a sneak peek of Santa’s workshop. Runs until: Sunday January 7, 2018

Disney’s Beauty and the Beast Where: Arts Club Theatre What: “Tale as old as time, song as old as rhyme.” Follow Belle behind the castle walls in this adaptation of the Academy Award–winning animated film. Runs until: January 13, 2018

Chinese Lantern Festival

Chinese Lantern Festival Where: Hastings Park What: As the largest festival of its kind in Canada will feature 35 illuminated displays transforming over 14 acres. Lantern festivals started during the Han Dynasty, about 2,000 years ago. This festival will be embracing traditions with elaborate new lanterns featuring Dragon, White Pagoda, Kylin, and Huabiao Column, each symbolizing a Chinese sage or legend. There will also be two nightly performances in the PNE Amphitheatre featuring acts such as face changing, acrobatics, and folk dance. Runs until: Sunday January 21, 2018

Amazonia: The Rights of Nature

Amazonia: The Rights of Nature Where: UBC Museum of Anthropology What: MOA will showcase its Amazonian collections in a significant exploration of socially and environmentally-conscious notions intrinsic to indigenous South American cultures, which have recently become innovations in International Law. These are foundational to the notions of Rights of Nature, and they have been consolidating in the nine countries that share responsibilities over the Amazonian basin. Runs until: January 28, 2018

Canyon Lights

Canyon Lights Where: Capilano Suspension Bridge Park What: Re-capture the feeling of wonder and excitement of the holiday season and be amazed by the hundreds of thousands of lights throughout the park. The suspension bridge, Treetops Adventure, Cliffwalk, the rainforest and canyon are transformed into a world of festive lights and visual enchantment. See the world’s tallest living Christmas tree (153 feet !) go on a Snowy Owl Prowl, decorate gingerbread cookies and make your own Christmas card in the Winter Pavilion, and sing-along with the holiday band. Runs until: January 28, 2018

True Nordic: How Scandinavia Influenced Design in Canada

True Nordic: How Scandinavia Influenced Design in Canada Where: Vancouver Art Gallery What: This ground-breaking exhibition examines the significant influence of Scandinavian craft and industrial design on the development of Canadian culture. Spanning more than seven decades, True Nordic reveals how Scandinavian design was introduced in Canada and how its aesthetics and material forms were adopted, revised and transformed. Runs until: Sunday January 28, 2018

Tin and Gold: A 10 Year Anniversary Show Where: The Fall What: Celebrate 10 years of alternative music, tattoo artistry, and multimedia events. The art show includes artists Megan Majewski, Jenn Brisson, Alison Woodward and more. Runs until: February 1, 2018

Robson Street Outdoor Ice Rink

Robson Street Outdoor Ice Rink Where: Robson Square What: Bring your skates, hold hands for balance, and circle the rink for free right in the heart of Downtown Vancouver. Skate rentals are also available, and for that you’ll need to bring cash. Runs until: February 2018

Portrait of the Artist

Portrait of the Artist Where: Vancouver Art Gallery What: This exhibition brings together The Royal Collection’s paintings depicting self-portraits, portraits of artists and artists at work. Encompassing over eighty works, Portrait of the Artist is a rich survey of how artists have seen themselves and the role of the artist within society. Runs until: February 4, 2018

Gordon Smith: The Black Paintings

Gordon Smith: The Black Paintings Where: Vancouver Art Gallery What: The exhibition features a body of work described as black paintings that Gordon Smith began producing in 1990. These densely painted, darkly abstracted paintings—punctuated with occasional colour, text and collaged elements—sometimes refer explicitly to this wartime experience. Smith was deployed with the Allied invasion at Pachino Beach, Sicily (code name Husky), in July 1943, when he was twenty-four. Runs until: February 4, 2018

Carol Sawyer: The Natalie Brettschneider Archive

Carol Sawyer: The Natalie Brettschneider Archive Where: Vancouver Art Gallery What: Sawyer’s ongoing project that reconstructs the life and work of the genre-defying, fictional singer and artist Natalie Brettschneider. The works on view will connect Brettschneider to a community of mid-twentieth century artists and musicians in British Columbia. Runs until: February 4, 2018

City on the Edge: A Century of Vancouver Activism Where: Museum of Vancouver What: A photo-based exhibition exploring how protest demonstrations have shaped Vancouver’s identity from the Vancouver Sun and The Province newspapers’ photo collection. These photographs are exceptional historical records of intense and transformative moments in the lives of Vancouverites. Runs until: February 18, 2017

N. Vancouver

N. Vancouver Where: The Polygon Gallery What: The show in the newly-opened gallery will pay tribute to the evolution of North Vancouver and will feature commissioned works by more than 10 artists, including Andrew Dadson, Gabrielle Hill, Althea Thauberger, Stephen Waddell and Tracy Williams, paired with existing work by Stan Douglas, Greg Girard, Fred Herzog, Curt Lang, and Jeff Wall, among others. Runs until: Spring 2018

Tasting History: The Traveling Tales of Tea Where: Roedde House Museum What: Tea is one of the most consumed liquids in the world, second only to water. But the beverage that brings much pleasure and calm to our 21st century senses is steeped in a turbulent history of politics and society. The exhibit will also feature stories from Vancouver’s modern-day tea community. Runs until: March 2018

Emily Carr: Into the Forest

Emily Carr: Into the Forest Where: Vancouver Art Gallery What: Far from feeling that the forests of the West Coast were a difficult subject matter, Carr exulted in the symphonies of greens and browns found in the natural world. With oil on paper as her primary medium, Carr was free to work outdoors in close proximity to the landscape. She went into the forest to paint and saw nature in ways unlike her fellow British Columbians, who perceived it as either untamed wilderness or a plentiful source of lumber. Runs until: March 4, 2018

The Lost Fleet Exhibit Where: Vancouver Maritime Museum What: On December 7, 1941 the world was shocked when Japan bombed Pearl Harbour, launching the United States into the war. This action also resulted in the confiscation of nearly 1,200 Japanese-Canadian owned fishing boats by Canadian officials on the British Columbia coast, which were eventually sold off to canneries and other non-Japanese fishermen. The Lost Fleet looks at the world of the Japanese-Canadian fishermen in BC and how deep-seated racism played a major role in the seizure, and sale, of Japanese-Canadian property and the internment of an entire people. Runs until: March 25, 2018

Chief Dan George: Actor and Activist Where: North Vancouver Museum What: An exhibition exploring the life and legacy of Tsleil-Waututh Chief Dan George (1899- 1981) and his influence as an Indigenous rights advocate and his career as an actor. The exhibition was developed in close collaboration with the George family. Runs until: April 2018

空 / Emptiness: Emily Carr and Lui Shou Kwan

空 / Emptiness: Emily Carr and Lui Shou Kwan Where: Vancouver Art Gallery What: The exhibition pairs Canadian modernist Emily Carr with the founder of the New Ink Movement in Hong Kong Lui Shou Kwan. Looking across culture, geography and time to explore expressions of the sublime in landscape painting, the exhibition draws connections by exploring how each artist experimented with abstraction and spirituality in their respective depictions of nature. Runs until: April 8, 2018

The Fabric of Our Land: Salish Weaving

The Fabric of Our Land: Salish Weaving Where: UBC Museum of Anthropology What: For generations Salish peoples have been harvesting the resources of their territories, transforming them into robes of rare beauty and power. Symbols of identity, they acted as legal documents and were visible signifiers of the presence of knowledge holders and respected people. Now mostly stored away in museums these masterworks are rarely seen. They have much knowledge to share and many stories to tell. Musqueam asked the Museum to bring these weavings to inspire weavers and share part of this rich legacy with all of us. Runs until: April 15, 2018

Public Artwork by New Delhi-Based Artist Asim Waqif

Public Artwork by New Delhi-Based Artist Asim Waqif Where: Vancouver Art Gallery What: Inspired by environmental concerns and the pace of human consumption, Waqif will construct an immersive architectural experience from materials collected at re-purpose stores, transfer stations and landfills in the metro Vancouver area. Waqif’s architectural structure will also incorporate an interactive acoustic system using microphones, effects pedals and speakers. Visitors are encouraged to move through the installation maze allowing them to actively experience the architecture instead of passively observing it. Runs until: April 15, 2017

Winter Farmers’ Market

Winter Farmers Market Where: Nat Bailey Stadium What: Each week you can look forward to finding locally grown vegetables and fruit, meat and seafood from local ranchers and fishermen, artisan cheese and bread, herbs and seasonal nursery items, baked goods, prepared foods and artisanal craft. Runs until: April 21, 2018 (Saturdays)

In a Different Light

In a Different Light Where: Museum of Anthropology What: More than 110 historical Indigenous artworks and marks the return of many important works to British Columbia. These objects are amazing artistic achievements. Yet they also transcend the idea of ‘art’ or ‘artifact’. Through the voices of contemporary First Nations artists and community members, this exhibition reflects on the roles historical artworks have today. Featuring immersive storytelling and innovative design, it explores what we can learn from these works and how they relate to Indigenous peoples’ relationships to their lands. Runs until: Spring 2019

What are you up to this weekend? Tell me and the rest of Vancouver in the comments below.

Inside Vancouver Blog