#peen

[h-omo-ero]

#peen #@elijahmanneville

[opendirectories]

#open directories #bottles #beer #peen

[p-redux]

From Anon that made me spit out my coffee this morning. 🤣

I didn't reply since I've answered this MANY times. Google Search is your friend, my friends. I am not Google, please, for the love of God, SEARCH my blog and/or Google before you come an ask me things I've answered over and over. Anyhooo, as she promised, the Anon didn't give up and sent another Ask this morning. 👇

Before I answer...🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 OMG, "Sam's penis seizure" will go down in fandom annals as one of the funniest autocorrect fails ever. "Sam's penis seizure," I'm still laughing. Needless to say, I think the Anon meant "size," not "seizure." But, hey, she's not far off, many penis do look like they're having seizures when aroused hahaha.

So, to answer your question, Anon. The shrimp comment Sam and Cait made years ago was this. They were having fun with Brazilian fans, tweeting in Portuguese. 👇

And Caitriona one upped Sam with 👇

They were OBVIOUSLY kidding and bantering together, as has always been their style. IOW, they were joking around. Anyone who actually thinks Cait was saying Sam has a small peen literally should go to Walmart and return their brain and get a refund.

Here's an old post where we all laughed about how funny Sam and Cait were being. 👇

As for the size of Sam's dirk, I've already discussed this MANY times. Here's an old post, where I mention it briefly, and what Sam himself said about it. 👇

And here is a longer post showing evidence that Sam Roland Heughan ain't shrimpy. JS. 👇

And finally here, conclusive scientific proof that TMGD aka The Magical Golden Dirk is so magical it makes grown women lose their dang minds. That doesn't happen with small dick. It just doesn't. 👇

I've seen lots 'o penis in my day, and small peen does NOT show from the side like this. 👇 It just doesn't.

Some men are "showers" a la Jon Hamm 👇 Meaning, their peen "shows" even when not erect.

But most men are "growers," like Sam. Meaning their dirk is well hidden and sleeping until it's gets woken up, and then it GROWS.

I hope that answers your question, Anon. But, please don't come back demanding I answer you and if I don't, you will keep bugging me until I do. I don't take kindly to people telling me what to do. Do it again, and I'll block you. I do thank you for my much needed laugh for the day, though. ❤️

#samheughan #sam heughan #caitriona balfe #tmgd #the magical golden dirk #sam hugeone #peen #shower #grower #shrimp #dirk

[risu5waffles]

For @siriusoculuscentrifuge , spotted around Koenji.

#Tokyo #Koenji #peen #graffiti

[unintentionalpeen]

#peen #lookslikeapenis #unintentional penis #looks like dicks #coffee #espresso with whole milk #beverage #barista art

[amour-anguis]

okay who is gonna take one for the team and write a jegulus au with matador james potter. please.

#jegulus #marauders #guys i’m begging #em just sent me a video of a bunch of matadors and i’m unwell #peen

[the-l00ker]

Hehehehe

#Life series #secret life #Secret #Found this on pearls video lol #pearlescentmoon #Minecraft #Peen

[fictionalred]

shout out to this one failed picture of Jupiter tho

#peen #fr

[h-omo-ero]

#@stef.marius #goddamn #peen #faves

[opendirectories]

#open directories #car #snow #peen

[vodkamademedoit]

Directly from my time at Uni. A photography teacher asked for a photographic work using various categories. I clicked the 'self portrait', 'night shot', 'boudoir' and 'abstract' tags.

#me #mine #photography #dudeoir #night shots #long exposure #peen #photography class #university #homework #no pun intended #abstract #lime green #pole #art school #queer artwork #yep that's me #yep that's my penus #lol

[lookbluesoup]

Like any good monster fucker I do spend some time wondering what is in the pants of the various beast-adjacent races in ffxiv. Maybe all the male-sexed of the races have a normal human dick but that's boring to me. So.

I typed up some headcanons about the appearance, refractory periods, functionality, etc. for Miqo'te, Hrothgar, Viera, and Au Ra. There's also some musing about things like heat cycles!

You're welcome to adopt parts of these for your own fics/headcanons/etc if you like them, I don't mind! You're also welcome to keep doing you if you don't. To each their own dick. If you like dicks.

There is a lot of penis talk under the cut. If you don't want to read about dicks then don't click the cut. There is also a version with illustrated dick diagrams on my Pillowfort (here), if you do not want to see dicks, do not click the link. The post was intended to have the visual guide alongside it, but I have to leave these out on tumblr bc of content restrictions.

These are "averages" but ofc size, shape, color, hair content might vary significantly between individuals! Also note that minimum time to ejaculation is if they're speed-running it. They can, of course, draw sex out longer if desired, though if their refractory period is low they might not need to worry about it!

Miqo'te are among the more "human" of the animalistic races so their dicks get to be, too. Still, hope you like hairy balls. Or else can convince your man to shave. Miqo'te scrotum are entirely covered in thick fur, their main distinction from hyur. They also have some soft "barbs" along their shaft that add a bit of texture and help keep them seated while mating, but shouldn't be painful unless their partner is much smaller than them.

Males do not have heat cycles, but females do. Heats commonly last between 2-14 days, and reoccur every 2-3 weeks if medicines, magics, or potions are not used to limit it. If pregnancy occurs, heat will end "early" within the next day, and the heat cycle will be suspended until roughly a month after birth. Pregnancy is possible outside of heat cycles, but extremely uncommon.

Females in heat have an extremely strong drive to mate that is often impairing to other senses, and bear a distinct scent which will arouse and attract male miqo'te. Males can also smell when females of other races are fertile, though this doesn't (usually) cause the same physical reaction as to miqo'te in heat. Possessive and aggressive behavior toward receptive females by males is more common in Sunseeker tribes, but appears primarily to be a cultural phenomenon, not a biological one.

Male Sunseekers, in particular, have a quirk wherein their bodies are primed to treat victories in battle like a mating rite. Only Nunhs generally get to reproduce in Sunseeker society, and this title is won by defeating the previous Nunh in combat. So... victory equals mating rights. Which equals arousal. Sunseeker males who emerge from conflict on the winning side are going to have to deal with a short term, well, not heat, but something like it.

Average Refractory Period: 10-15 minutes Minimum Time to Ejaculation: 2-5 minutes

---------------

Hrothgar have furry, animalistic sheathes over a girthy, tapered penis, and much more distinct barbs which grow more prominent close to ejaculation and can be painful on withdrawal.

They have a heat cycle similar to miqo'te, however, female Hrothgar only go into heat every 3-4 months.

Average Refractory Period: 15-30 minutes Minimum Time to Ejaculation: 20-60 seconds

---------------

Viera in game-lore, to my knowledge, cannot be sexed until puberty. So they have nether regions that appear relatively vague even as adults. Fur obscures a "slit" between their legs. Their balls are stored inside - viera scrotum do not hang down, rather they frame either side of the penis slightly above it. Usually these are not visible, but in hot weather or while very relaxed, the outline may become distinct.

Viera have the fastest refractory period of all races, though fertility decreases significantly at this pace. Like other races, a male Viera intending to breed should generally only attempt it twice a day.

Flaccid males are very difficult to distinguish from females. Erect are reminiscent of real-life transmasculine dicks, since I personally find the idea affirming. Your mileage may vary!

Female viera have no heat cycle. They are, essentially, always in heat except when pregnant, but this is not a distracting fever like it is for the more catlike races, simply a biological convenience.

Average Refractory Period: 2-8 minutes Minimum Time to Ejaculation: 20-90 seconds

---------------

Au Ra, despite their impressive height, do not possess elezen-sized cocks. They are, however, erect 24/7. Au Ra reproductive parts are concealed inside a cloaca, alongside their urethra and anus. So yes, the cloaca is a magical hole full of goodies.

Au Ra dicks are small enough to fit comfortably inside the females of their race, and emerge fully erect from the cloaca when aroused. The cock has a fairly wide opening at the tip. So if you were wondering, also yes, you could probably fit your tongue in there.

Having a smaller penis is generally preferred among traditionally-raised au ra women, since it can't do its job very well if it doesn't even fit inside. Sorry, Magnai.

Au Ra do not have heats, but do have yearly "mating seasons" when the drive to reproduce is stronger for both sexes, and offspring are more likely to be conceived.

Average Refractory Period: 1 hour Minimum Time to Ejaculation: 7-10 minutes

#nsftumblr #ffxiv #miqo'te #hrothgar #au ra #viera #text #long post #peen #headcanon #my headcanon

[mooooooosicals]

Screams

#i have so much more art i wanna share #but i cant #bc #peen #theres peen #tumblr doesnt like peen #what do i do #I WANNA SHARE PEEN #(with the appropriate audience ofc that's why i have a seperate blog for more Peen related things #dances awkwardly #help

[unintentionalpeen]

#lookslikeapenis #peen #looks like dicks #nature #glory

[healthyfitprincess]

I’ve been studying so hard for my boards coming up and this little menace is the only reason I haven’t had a complete mental break down yet 🥲

She has been there every step of the way (trying her very best to distract me and stop me from studying)

I love her so much.

#pelican #peli bird #peen