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“but as I watched the fireworks go off in the night sky, I was consumed by a more general sense of dread, of imprisonment within the dreary round of school and home: circumstances which, to me at least, presented sound empirical argument for gloom.”

Excerpt From “Tartt The Secret History”

Donna Tartt

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I defended a lovely lady who was fangirling (like we do when we’re in fandoms) and this right A-hole tells her not to do that so I tell him to be quiet and that she can fangirl over whatever and whoever she wants.

I then got a lovely message full of profanity, which I reported for harassment then blocked him.

Nice to know that these idiots still exist and think we shouldn’t be happy.

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Alethea Howard, 14th Baroness Talbot, 17th Baroness Strange of Blackmere, 13th Baroness Furnivall, Countess of Arundel (1585 – 3 June 1654), née Lady Alethea Talbot, was a famous patron and art collector and one of England’s first published female scientists. She was the wife of Thomas Howard, 21st Earl of Arundel with whom she build one of the most important art collection of the 17th century’s England. She was the youngest daughter of Gilbert Talbot, 7th Earl of Shrewsbury and his wife Mary Cavendish; and the sister of two other countesses: Mary Herbert, Countess of Pembroke and Elizabeth Grey, Countess of Kent.

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Catherine Cornaro (25 November 1454 – 10 July 1510) was the last monarch of the Kingdom of Cyprus. She was Queen Consort of Cyprus by marriage to James II of Cyprus, regent of Cyprus during the minority of her son James III of Cyprus in 1473–1474, and finally Queen Regnant of Cyprus. She reigned from 26 August 1474 to 26 February 1489 and was declared a “Daughter of Saint Mark” in order that the Republic of Venice could claim control of Cyprus after the death of her husband, James II.

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Desde que te di la primera carta y te hice saber como me sentí, han empeorado más la situación. En mi perspectiva has cambiado, creo que en realidad es tu verdadero ser; me duele que nuestra amistad se haya fracturado tanto.

Así que estas palabras son para ti: gracias por tu amistad.

Además, te aclararé porque me voy y no pienses que no te he valorado al contrario, te he valorado más de lo que puedo y siento que no es reciproco.

En ciencia cierta, me alejo por mi salud mental; porque me prefiero a mi que tener a una amistad que nunca me supo valorar. No puede seguir en un lugar con alguien que si estoy físicamente con esa persona prefiera estar en su celular que prestarme atención; me voy porque me hiciste mucho daño en el día de mi cumple años, me ignoraste y en vez de quedarte a festejarme te fuiste; me voy porque ni siquiera me cuentas tus problemas para poder ayudarte; me voy porque ya me canse que no me valores; me voy porque una amiga no le hace a otra la hipocresía que haces.

Cuando te escribí la primera carta que te entregue tenía sentimientos encontrados: enojo, tristeza, felicidad y decepción. Desde ahí me he preguntado ¿Esa es la clase de amiga que tengo?  

La que no valora cuándo la apoyan porque su ex novio la maltrataba; la que no valora el apoyo que se le da cuándo su sobrino fallece; la que no valora cuándo su abuelita fallece; la que no valora que su amiga cruce la ciudad y deje todas sus responsabilidades para ir a verla; la que no valora que su amiga la acompañe a un evento que jamás en su vida había ido pero que por ti va.

Me duele perder tu amistad pero he tocado fondo y ver que de verdad no soy nada para ti, me rompe pero he decido poner fin por mí. Porque ya no puedo seguir aguantando tu maltrato y tu amistad tóxica; porque ya me cansé que si me va bien en algo ni te alegras por mi, sólo te enojas y eres celosa.

En el escrito de hace un tiempo te dije que no podría esperar años para que madures y viendo que no estás poniendo de tu parte para que nuestra amistad mejore es que no puedo más.

Por último, te deseo lo mejor como siempre te lo he deseado. Y gracias, me quedo con los bellos momentos que tuvimos.

                                            Suerte; adiós.

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It’s a different kind of life, a lifestyle, changed. So, I’m not here to expect from myself to be the exact same. I cannot be. There’s way more going on, I have to reflect on what’s truly important. I mean, it’s once a lifetime, I know.

There are the travel places and meaningful relationships. I mean, I know, I am kind of introverted, but not that much anymore. Still need my time for myself, to reflect, to care for my health, to express myself. It’s still about being independent and all. 

About handling the whole household and financial stuff. What groceries to buy, what to cook and whatever investion. It’s quite important to plan and reflect, I know that, mostly with cooking - but i want to make this right in passionate expression. Trying new things, being excited about that. So yeah, it’s kind of taking a lot of time, this new interest.

Education ain’t just the priority at all, I mean,in talking to people, I might as well improve already. And don’t forget about the jobs to apply to. That’s one of a kind, too. And the passion of writing to keep going. At least, once a week or so. It’s passion, I know. And blog storytelling, too. 

Of course, being oneself, thinking deeply and expressing feels, yeah, reflection and critical thinking, I might need that the most, to learn the lesson. Too on listening to my body, stretching it, when needed, dancing to shake it.

But at last, I’m here. Travelling places, slowly and intensely, with people to love.

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