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theambitiouswoman · 6 months

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How To Stop People Pleasing ⭐

Recognize that you have a tendency to do it. Self awareness is the first step towards change.

Try to figure out why you do it. It might be rooted in a desire for approval, fear of rejection, low self-esteem, or past experiences.

Learn to say "no" when necessary without feeling guilty, even if you feel guilty. Understand that setting boundaries is essential for your mental and emotional health.

Practice self care and prioritize your own needs and well being. This means taking time for yourself, setting personal goals, and pursuing your interests.

Figure out your core values and beliefs. Make decisions that align with your values rather than what you think will please others.

Practice assertiveness skills to communicate your thoughts, feelings, and boundaries effectively while respecting others' rights and opinions.

Reframe any negative thoughts or beliefs that drive your people-pleasing behavior. Replace them with more empowering and self-affirming thoughts.

Accept that not everyone will always be pleased with your decisions or actions. It's okay to experience discomfort, and it doesn't make you a bad person.

Be kind to yourself and acknowledge that nobody is perfect. It's okay to make mistakes and learn from them. Mistakes are a way of learning and it is okay to make them.

Start with small steps and gradually build your confidence in asserting your needs.

Write down all your thoughts, feelings, and experiences in these type of situations. This can help you gain insights and track your progress. You need to understand the issue and why you do it in order to get through it.

#people pleaser #social skills #social anxiety #self help #self awareness #self improvement #self reflection #personal improvement #personal growth #personal development #self confidence #self love #self care #self empowerment #self esteem

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malkahpariyz · 5 months

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The quote above is what I have been saying forever to these men who have an issue with me being an outstanding leader of a woman… and it is refreshing to finally here it come from a man’s mouth.

It’s a lot of DUMMY men out here who truly think we should be following them as women when they are quite literally ignorant, lost, and mislead men... and they get mad at us and assassinate our womanhood the moment they realize we are MORE than them and we are more capable of leading ourselves and others in the proper directions exponentially more than they are. They are mad at us because we know better and are better than any and everything they are about & anything and everything they have to say or do. They are mad at us because they are less than the man they should be. They are mad at us, because even as women, we stand to be more equipped and capable than even them, as a man. You are not too strong woman, these men are too weak for you. These weak men are offended by you because EVERYTHING YOU ARE reminds them of what THEY ARE NOT… but yet are supposed to be as a man, but are not, because they are not proper or real men… and they seek to take their faults and insecurities out on you, and instead of admitting to themselves that they are shitty leaders, they accuse you of being too much of a leader for them to handle or like or want in a woman.

Something these weak men should know: We absolutely are submissive. We are just not submissive to anything DUMB WRONG OR WEIRD or whatever we know better than already. We submit to the men who are actually fit to lead women like us who already know how to lead ourselves properly and refuse to be led astray. If we know better than you we know better than you. If we are more equipped than you, we are more equipped! And we are not going to pretend like we are not just for your egos sake. Y’all mad at us because we are not about to submit to anything less than us or beneath us. And we do not follow behind any advice, statements, or commands that WE KNOW FAR BETTER THAN (and trust me we do know better than it and it’s confirmed that we do know better than it)…and we not about to pretend like we don’t just for your sake. We are not about to play dumb or follow blindly for anybody. Period.

Ladies, it’s time for us to realize that the only men that have issues with us are the ones who are BENEATH us. When you find a man who is ACTUALLY fit to lead you, he will have no issue with the incredibly strong leader you already are. In fact it will impress him and turn him on.

Hear this ladies, and say it with me: These weak men are the only ones who have an issue with you being strong. These dumb men are the only ones who have an issue with you being intelligent. These lost men are the only ones who have an issue with you having found yourself. These men who don’t know God properly are the only ones who have an issue with you knowing God and His words, more well and more accurately than they do. These men who are disconnected from God and can’t hear His voice are the only ones with an issue with what God has told YOU. These broke men are the only men who have an issue with you being rich. These talentless men are the only ones intimidated or jealous of your talent. These misled men are the only ones who have an issue with you being a proper leader. These loser men are the only ones with an issue with you being a winner. These men who ain’t going nowhere in life are the only ones who got an issue with where you are going in life. These unmanly men are the only ones that feel emasculated by you.

Continue to be a lioness Queen, soon your King will be in effect.

- The Modest Blog

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asvospace · 1 day

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Girl, YOU ARE WORTHY OF LOVE & HAPPINESS REGARDLESS of the Past Experiences or Situations that may make you feel like you aren’t. Girl, trust me, you ARE worthy and you ARE deserving. ALWAYS remember that.

This literally so important because I feel like nowadays sometimes we doubt ourselves and our worthiness because of past experiences/situations and create negative statements in our mind or subconsciously about ourselves :(, When in reality that is just NOT TRUE AT ALL. Negative past experiences should not and DO NOT DEFINE US because: “Your past, no matter how negative or bad, does NOT DEFINE YOUR FUTURE”, YOU ARE THE ONE WHO GETS TO DECIDE THAT.

YOU ARE BORN FROM THE RESILIENCE OF YOUR OWN PERSEVERANCE, NOT FROM PAST MISTAKES & NOT FROM NEGATIVE PAST EXPERIENCES OR SITUATIONS.

xoxo,

⌗ 𐑺・raine 𓂃꒰🧸꒱ / @asvospace

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shutuperce · 1 year

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i dunno about y’all but i personally am grinning really hard right now about stede and ed from ofmd and bill and frank from tlou... not all queer people are young and thin and beautiful and experiencing first love. some queer people have soft tummies and grey hair, queer people deserve to grow old together and we will. queer people also deserve to fight fungi zombies and become pirates. in this essay i will

#ofmd #tlou #bill and frank #stede and ed #stede and blackbeard #queer #queer empowerment #old queer people exist btw :)

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sustainpedal · 5 months

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It cracks me up seeing innie:Mark reading this like holy scriptures

#It makes sense too #An exaggerated message of individual empowerment to people brainwashed in a cult #Severance

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ghostdrinkssoup · 2 years

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hi hello tumblr dot com, can we unpack will and hannibal’s character introductions?

trick question and I don’t care: we’re unpacking this whether you like it or not <3

for the people who wanted to be tagged here you are: @forgivenessishisdesign @kitzual

so anyway last night I rewatched apéritif and now that I know how the series ends a lot of small details stuck out to me. there’s so much content to pick apart that I’m actually losing my mind a little so I’m gonna divide my thoughts into two parts because this is going to be long. first we’ll do will’s introduction, then in the next post I’ll write about hannibal’s

EDIT: you can find part two (hannibal’s introduction) here :)

with that being said, let’s get started

will:

as far as character introductions go, will’s is so perfect to me that I need to dedicate some time just to infodump about it. let it be known that I am obsessed with this scene. there is so much packed into literally only four or so minutes and it’s glorious

funnily enough it’s pretty simple: the scene opens with a flashback. will is depicted recreating a crime scene using his empathy disorder (although audiences are not aware of his empathy yet) and ends with him returning to the present, where he’s lecturing his students about psychoanalysing serial killers, using the case as an example. that’s it. but the scene does everything it needs to do

an effective opening should tell you:

1) the rules/qualities of the world (which can either be exceedingly normal or very bizarre depending on the nature of the story’s subtext and extended metaphor)

2) the protagonist’s worldview, thus foreshadowing the nature of their arc

3) depict theme and raise thematic questions

4) and set-up the climax of the story, which should ideally mirror the opening so that we’re left with a circular narrative

by opening with will’s empathy we are immediately shown that this is a normal part of the story-world even if it’s fantastical by nature. it’s something will can do and that’s just how it is. it’s important that this is the first thing we see because his empathy serves a plot, character, thematic, and genre purpose. it’s a device, as well as an integral part of the show’s subtext and extended metaphor. it automatically puts him on an axis between empathy and psychopathy, or rather, humanity and monstrosity. even before we’re introduced to hannibal himself this is clear through a study of visual contrasts, since in the same instance we’re introduced to the concept of “empathy”, will is taking on the role of the killer, coldly explaining how he murdered the victims bleeding out at his feet. this is the first murder we see in the show, meaning, by proxy, will is the first “killer” we see as well, even if he’s just recreating the scene. we never see who killed mrs marlow, and so the only impression we have of this killer is will’s face. this sets up the structure of s1, since each murder reveals more about will himself, but I digress

and sure, the precision of his empathy is exaggerated and unrealistic, but we believe it a) because it’s the first thing we learn about him and is an unquestionable part of the story-world and its logic and b) because it adheres to its genre (crime/gothic horror). the gothic horror aspect in particular justifies the phantasmagoric, almost supernatural nature of will’s empathy, as well as it’s visual aesthetic (it’s represented through a hypnotic, pendulum type swinging motion). the gothic deals with topics of transgression, the unnatural or unexplainable, and most importantly the unknown. even if the show’s gothic elements aren’t exactly clear yet, the opening certainly maintains this tone. it’s why when the show moves away from the standard crime procedural structure, it’s not exactly jarring or beyond audience expectations (even unconscious ones)

but in all honesty, what really stands out about this scene is what will tells his students after. there are five elements fixed into the few lines he says (which I’ve highlighted below) and it’s all that’s needed to tie the scene back to theme and the show’s main through line

the first thing will says after he’s finished recreating the crime scene, returning to the present and leaving the killer’s mind, is “everyone has thought about killing someone, one way or another.” if the initial flashback worked to place empathy and psychopathy on a conceptual axis, paradoxically blurring the line by contrasting what we know about will vs what we see of will, then the above dialogue blurs everything even further. according to will’s worldview he, and as a result normal people in general, all think monstrous things. therefore, we all have the capacity to understand monsters

to will, humanity is not divorced from monstrosity

this is immediately followed by “be it your hand or the hand of god” introducing a new dimension for us to work with: man vs monster vs god. this gives his initial worldview a righteous edge. here we have a character who understands humanity’s capacity for violent thought, but it’s rendered through a type of divine justice. for him, there must be reason and meaning behind violence. better still, he would prefer it to be righteous. this of course sets up much of his dynamic with hannibal. they talk about religion a lot in the show. lines that immediately come to mind are “killing must feel good to god, he does it all the time” “is this meal an act of god, will?” “did god feel good about that? (violence)” “he felt powerful” etc. I think there’s also something to be said about how by thematically juxtaposing humanity with god, the concept of fate and free will also becomes implicit. we all think about killing, sometimes we choose to do it ourselves and sometimes god does it for us. who has power here? when does it stop being righteous? can one take on the role of god when killing? and if one does take on the role of god, would all blame be erased?

after this is: “now think about killing mrs marlow. why did she deserve this?” now we’re directly tying will’s dialogue to the flashback. to will, the death must have meaning. not only that, but for the perpetrator this must be righteous in some way. why did she deserve it? this line also adheres to the show’s genre and its conventions: this is a crime show, which means we’re exploring justice and injustice. again, thematic opposites. but, as he’s done the entire time he’s been on screen so far, will keeps blurring the line between these distinctions

he then says “tell me your design” which, as we all know, is a significant motif in the show. he says this all the damn time, after every murder. again, this brings forth the idea that the murders must have some kind of deeper meaning, psychological or perhaps even creatively. after all, “design” is an interesting way to phrase this. it sounds artistic, purposeful, imbued with meaning. however, the exact meaning of this is only cemented when he follows it with “tell me who you are”

“tell me who you are” is arguably the most important part of this entire sequence because, first and foremost, this show is about identity, specifically will’s identity. he recontextualises everything he just said in that moment, as well as the flashback we watched moments earlier. the design, the intent, the act of murder, and whether it’s divine or monstrous or purely human, is all linked to one’s identity. by understanding the murder, we understand the man. further still, there lies hidden commentary on one’s moral choices, as well as how autonomy fuels self-empowerment: we will understand who will is once he makes a choice to secure his own autonomy and power, which he does in the wrath of the lamb

it’s why he struggles to make solid choices all throughout the show, and why the specific choices he makes are so important, because whatever he authentically chooses to do will reveal who he is, no matter how hard he tries to hide from himself. he chooses to kill hobbs. he chooses to warn hannibal and gets his stomach split open in the process. if he hadn’t been so indecisive, he would’ve chosen to run away with hannibal too. he chooses to follow him to italy. and finally, he chooses to break him out of prison. because ultimately, once cannot change their nature. you cannot reduce him to a set of influences. he’s not a product of anything. he has his own design

and in hindsight, the questions raised here concerning will’s nature is resolved the moment he chooses to take hannibal down with him. the ambiguity of the resolution recalls the conflict between fate and free will, justice and injustice, and humanity and monstrosity (as set up in the opening scene) since although will actively chooses to drag them down the cliff, and as a result chooses loving hannibal over everything else, something he can’t really control anyway, he simultaneously leaves their fate up to god. it’s an act of faith. in that moment, when will finally seizes power and recognises who he is, accepting hannibal as his natural equal, his hand becomes the hand of god. in a final coin toss, will puts their lives in his own hands, and hannibal lets him do it anyway

#apéritif my beloved #listen I know the fall can be interpreted however you want #but I really really love the metaphorical approach #literal fall from grace AND the coin toss like AAAA IT LINKS BACK TO THE OPENING #all this finding empowerment through choice while paradoxically being unable to choose who you fall in love with (a loss of control)#really does speak to its queer themes too #like I’m sorry but this show is so queer dudes it’s not even coded it’s just there #I know cishet people probably don’t see it as clearly but it’s so obvious to me #anyway #I have more thoughts but this was getting wayyyy too long so we’ll talk about hannibal another time #probably tonight tbh NSBSHDH #I added pictures to this one just for fun <3 #my meta is evolving #but yeah I love will graham man he’s such a great character #hannibal #nbc hannibal #will graham #hannigram #hannibal meta #ghost speaks

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tiagems · 7 months

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The idea that the only adults in the team Gwen got together are Peter and SpiderHam

The idea that it's Miles' peers, the teens, that come to his aid and fight with him, not against him.

The idea of generational comradery and how making friends with people around his age that will ultimately be the thing that lifts Miles up

#spider man: across the spider verse #miles morales #across the spiderverse #atsv #i have a lot of feelings about miles morales and the concept of teenagers coming together to save the world #the empowerment #the idea that children really are the future #but they don't need us adults to hand it to them #they'll take it for themselves and spit in the faces of people who try to hoard it

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jeremiasdorap · 23 days

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As a BLACK PERSON from Brazil, I am extremely shocked by the absurd level of ignorance that part of the black population in the United States has about the issue of blackness in other territories of the American continent. As Asad Haider said, these are the Mistaken Identity.

To explain once and for all: "Afro-Latino" is not an ethnicity dissociated from black ethnicity. Both in the USA and in other Latin American countries there are black people who have lived there for generations, precisely because they were brought by slave ships from Africa. Black Latinos ARE BLACK PEOPLE! To deny this historical fact is not only to close oneself off from a world of territorial ignorance, but also to embark on the same identity nationalism that marginalizes the black population in the USA.

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