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majorbaby · 1 year

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started writing some postwar mulcahy stuff, a lot of it pretty critical of him as a character, feat. BJ when i realized i care more about him and BJ as mirrors in GFA

standard mulcahy disclaimer: my interpretation of him as a character is heavily tied to his vocation as a catholic priest. given that i have an overwhelmingly negative view of the catholic church as an institution and an even worse opinion of volunteer clergy in asia in particular, that means a lot of my views about him tend to be negative.

i think that's a valid interpretation to have because he's a tertiary character and often isn't given the opportunity for a three-dimensional person to be established. and also because i'm primarily interested in MASH as a satirical critique of the army, so i tend to care about where a character falls in relation to the establishment more than i care about their personal drama. hawkeye and margaret are exceptions to that rule only because their drama is so varied and heavily focused on.

they really pushed the 'crisis of faith' with mulcahy in GFA and i'm not into that. reason being, i think more people ought to have crises of faith when confronted with the reality that their all-loving, all-compassionate god has an army of earthly foot-soldiers who often do not seem to be motivated by compassion or love. It is comical to suggest that this is the first time mulcahy has wondered "whether god is deaf" honey there's a war on. I get it, it's his finale drama, but i think the problem is that (to his credit) it's reasonable for him to have had such a crisis earlier on during any of the other heartbreaking things he bears witness to so i was rolling my eyes.

what i did think was interesting was the drawn-out interaction between beejcahy (that's what i'm calling it! sorry lol). here you have two characters who are utterly beholden to their belief systems, which are oppressive to them and oppressive to others. and you also have a show that is completely oblivious to that most of the time, rarely having either character question their beliefs. i would argue that charles has done more to grow his worldview and that is because charles' worldview is positioned by the narrative as a character flaw he ought to grow out of. as opposed to the famously virtuous and unproblematic catholic dogma or standard WASP nuclear family programming.

and as i mentioned with mulcahy because i don't have a range of character traits or drama to point to without headcanonry, i have to give a lot of importance to his being a catholic priest.

so BJ's got his american dream and mulcahy's got the catholic church. i think it's totally valid for mulcahy to not want to share his disability with other people, but i also can't ignore that it's BJ who helps him keep that from the people around them, who'd of course want to help him. makes total sense to me that BJ would be understanding of that, because he does it himself all the time, and seems to think that's worked out soooooo great.

i find the bit he says about having already done his time in purgatory annoying because you don't volunteer to go to purgatory, not that hawkeye or BJ have anything to say about that lol. i know i am being a killjoy about mulcahy's warm finale moment but i cannot see past the unintentional parody.

he gets on the truck without anyone except BJ knowing what's happened, not even hawkeye who by virtue of being the protagonist had a closer relationship with mulcahy than anyone else on the show. as with BJ, hawkeye verbalizes that his doubt that he will ever see mulcahy again and also as with BJ i am inclined to trust hawkeye on that one. Imo, it lends further credibility to the argument against any kind of 4077th reunion. this part of their lives is over, and closure is achieved but there are still some major things left unsaid. without committing to any one headcanon for postwar mulcahy (partially because he was on aftermash and i have no interest in watching that), my view of catholicism being an unreliable support system and uncertainty around how he will process his trauma has me leaning towards a breakdown for him once he gets home.

#mulcahy meta #re: mash

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the-last-millenial-disaster · 4 years

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Omen headcannons

(A/N: Alright, before I get into this I’d just like to clarify what preferences I’m basing my headcannons off of. From the voicelines we know that Omen isn’t human(well, any more), therefore I will presume he doesn’t have some of the basic human needs such as eating, drinking and sleeping. I will also put forward that I personally think he doesn’t wear a mask, and what you see under the hood is his face.)

Alrighty now that that’s out of the way, let’s get down to bussiness.

Omen is among the more quiet agents

Despite that he has pretty decent relationships with all of them

Except Killjoy

By ‘quiet’ I mean not seeking conversation or contact

Otherwise you can always hear him if he’s nearby. He’ll give off unintentional sounds, the ones that his body makes without his control like grunts and...purrs? They never really got to the bottom of that and quite frankly nobody dares to ask him about it

If he goes completely quiet, like, no sound at all, then you can pack your shit and start running

He’s the only one Reyna doesn’t look down at

His closest friend is Viper, and he spends a lot of time in her lab, watching her work and occasionally helping her

His room is partly in the basement and partly on the ground floor, allowing him to quickly teleport to a few practical locations

It’s really small and dark, since he doesn’t spend a lot of time there

the doors are in the basement and he keeps them wide open, as if challenging any passersby to come in. Everybody knows that and not even Reyna dares to enter.

Even though he’d never admit it, Omen is the kind of person that checks on everybody before he retreats to his room at night

He doesn’t talk to them, there’s no ‘how’s it going’ or ‘are you OK?‘, agents just see a quick shadow pass under their door, or faint movement in the corner of their eye - that’s how they know Omen is making rounds

He literally is everywhere

Omen is a people observer. He’ll just plant himself in some corner and watch the activity

He loves to read and keeps his favourite books on a shelf above his bed

Omen prefers darkness and shadows to light, as he finds it easier to keep his atoms together if he isn’t exposed to a warmth source

That is also why he never ever set foot in Phoenix’s room

(I think this one is cannon, but not sure) When he dies his body gets ripped apart, atom by atom, and those get scattered trough different dimensions

The first time it happened the cause wasn’t even his death. He relaxed for a moment too long. It took him months to piece himself back together and the scientists examining him were convinced he was dead.

The more he teleports, looser his atoms are and it get’s harder to hold them together

Thats why he lost his human body - at one point, piecing himself back together perfectly became impossible

He had to make up simplified senses, that were easier to bind than human ones, hence his changed facial features

That whole process, even teleporting, is quite paiful for him (note the many grunts we hear in gameplay)

He made himself a device called a ‘containment initiator’, that creates an invisible dome with a frequency in which his atoms still and he doesn’t have to focus in order to keep them together. If he’s feeling extremely unwell, the HQ also have the containment chamber, with amplyfied containment initiator abilities

Viper is the only person he’ll willingly give samples for research, as he believes she can fix him

Cypher is losing his mind because he can’t find anything on Omen anywhere

(A/N: You made it to the bottom! I’ll end this here otherways it’ll be too long, but I’m planning to make a post about his past before he became Omen, so if you’re interested keep an eye out. Thank you so much for reading!)

#valorant #omen valorant #omen #valorant headcanons #valorant cypher #valorant reyna #millenial writes

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cfstvlla · 3 years

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STELLA MATTHEWS WASN’T USED TO CELEBRATING BIRTHDAYS EXTENSIVELY. of course, as a young girl, her mother did everything in her power to make the day as special as possible, but with a lack of funds in the bank account, it usually didn’t come with being surrounded by presents. for this reason, stella, as hard as she was on the outside, cherished any gift that someone put the thought into getting her, as it reminded her of her mother’s thought and detail put into each birthday growing up.

[ sitting on the dining table is a freshly baked cake and in a wrapped box is an array of scented perfumes, makeup, and a brand-new shirt she caught Stella eyeing ]

Good morning and happy birthday, honey!

I asked Lucy to keep these and give them to you in the morning, so merry surprise on your special day and I have taken the liberty of putting together this cake for you that I hope you will enjoy! I asked Lucy to remind me of what you would like and we baked it together when you were at work, and I took it home and frosted it and returned it with my gifts here. A girl needs spicing up when she’s been through something, doesn’t she, and I thought that there’s no better way to kick ass and take names than to receive a plethora of these products that I had gotten in the mail and couldn’t see myself using!! They’re all Pat McGrath and Bath and Body, and the shirt… well, when we were in the mall, I happened to see you gazing at it in one of the high-end stores and returned to pick it out for you in your size. I think you’ll look absolutely adorable in it, so make sure to give it a lot of love, okay? You’re such a sweetheart and I want you to feel important on today of all days, and another year around the sun is something to be blessed with!

Lucy and I would love to take you out for dinner and drinks tonight, do you have plans or would you be interested? We can go anywhere you want, honey! Your pick, no worries about the cost. I’ll take care of the bill for all of us so we can have a great time and we’ll take you anywhere you want to go! I actually don’t have to get up early for work in the morning and I’ll be damned if I don’t show you a good ‘ol time down in Boston or even in the downtown!

You know we love you with all our hearts and it’s sooo fun to watch you play around with Diego whenever he’s with me. My son can be a killjoy and a little bit of a brat at times but I just know that he adores your presence and thinks that you’re so endlessly fascinating… My twins don’t think of much yet, but I’m positive that they’ll both enjoy having an aunt of sorts around to see them, too! Besides the ones they already have, that is!! We may not always share the same things in common but you’re one of my best friends a gal could ever have, and personally, I think we have the most fabulous girl squad that Salem has ever known.

You better eat all of this up!

See you soon, buttercup!

Ana. <3 // @bxllewvtch (tagging lucy @xchoilucybc relevance)

waking up groggily was a daily event for stella, as she rubbed her eyes and pulled herself out of bed for another day (somewhat against her will). it only took an hour of laying in bed, awake, before she decided she should actually move and continue to exist for another calendar day. it was her birthday, and while one would normally be excited for such an occasion, it was a bit sad to wake up alone, feeling as if you kind of don’t mean anything to anyone. however, when she opened her bedroom door and the dining table came into sight, a weird feeling, all warm, entered her chest at all the extravagant layout. picking up the note, the stoner had to bite her lip to stop the smile blooming on her face. girlfriends weren’t something stella had ever known before lucy and ana, as she rarely had friends other than cyrek and a couple drug dealers, really. maybe at one point she claimed to be ‘not like other girls,’ when she young and stupid, but the truth was she was just jealous of those girls and their friends. but now she had them. two friends she could rant to about relationships with, drink wine to romcoms with, talk about periods with, everything that a group of gals was supposed to do. and even if stella never said it aloud, she absolutely loved every bit of it. (a small voice pointed out that it was the first time she was able to do those things since isabelle was killed, but she tried not to think such things on her birthday). lucy and ana were fun, energetic, loving, hilarious, all the positive things stella wasn’t and yet, for some reason, they still kept her around and put up with her bullshit. and not only that, but they baked her a fucking cake on top of it all. she made a mental note she had to text the group chat later, confirming the plans for that night as god knew she didn’t have any other ones. (part of her was still foolish enough to think beau would show up at the last minute and sweep her off her feet for the evening.) but this was much better than sitting at home, wallowing in pity (and lonely intoxication). they’d spend the evening hyping her up, especially if she wore the shirt and used the makeup ana had gifted her, which she definitely would be.

[ also sitting outside her apartment door is a vase with fake roses in it and a container of her favorite kind of muffins. a letter is attached ]

Bonjour…

Hello, Stella. Happiest of birthdays to you and I hope this will find you well and bring a bit of light into your eyes that has been a bit scuffed as of late. I would have bought real flowers, but I thought you might neglect to water them rather quickly and I suppose fake is better for that purpose… however, everyone deserves flowers on their birthday and when I think of you, I think of blue roses. The color blue reminds me of you. Blue roses mean that someone is extraordinarily unique and wonderful and that is how I have long thought of you since I was young and you lent a hand in my favor, even though you did not have to and nobody asked you to stick by my side through all the obstacles and difficulties. I am sure it must have been difficult to witness me in so many of them, when I became lost or overwhelmed… hallucinatory. Through it all, I remember who you are always, and that is the extent of how important you are to me, that my fickle brain can recall you when the darkest part does take over and threaten to destroy. You are always there, or at least, almost always, and you have been the shield I can depend on, and whilst Cyrek is always a phone call away, it is easier to turn to someone who hasn’t been ingrained to coddle me as if I were a small and defenseless child.

You treat me as an equal and that is all that I have ever wanted from another person, including my own spouse, and for that you have my ceaseless gratitude and in practice, it is only appropriate to celebrate your birthday, regardless of whether you want to. I hope that the sweets will bring delight to you if nothing else, and that you can enjoy these flowers to brighten up your room in the apartment. I have come to an understanding that perhaps, although you are not a typically happy-go-lucky person, the same as myself, you have been… astray, as of late.

I think that everyone goes through this turbulent query, of who they are and what purpose they serve, the internal battle of human quality that we must all face and at times, it is triggered by these events that we do not anticipate. I shall try to refrain from my philosophical rambles, however, I wish to express that in you, I have always observed a woman of great potential, for only fiery hearts with feisty tongues like yours and my brother’s could peddle through obstacles with the wrath of the sun to get what they want and plunder the earths and that power within you is greater than one could ever know. Finding your truest of inner strengths is empowering, and freeing. When you cannot see who you are in the dark, though, I am happy to be there to hold a light and to study it for you and hold the flame until you can carry your own.

What you are to me is immeasurable. And how I missed you so when you were not around, and when I did not hear from you. I know that I can be poorly with communication. But let us not lose contact like that again, oui?

I would like to stop by for coffee later, if you would have me. I was up late, hence this package finding you here. Give me a call.

Sincerely yours,

Orion. x // @dvggerwclf

after using just about every product ana had presented her with, stella was feeling quite content and comfortable (and certainly smelling great), and decided to gift herself with a nice coffee from an actual cafe for her birthday (to go with her piece of cake for lunch). however, she didn’t expect to see an assortment on her doorstep. the blue flowers caught her attention first, reaching for the envelope left near them. the formal language let her knew who it was from right off the bat, and it was hard to describe how she felt that orion cared enough to gift her something. of course she knew he cared, but she also would never expect her friends to go so out of their way for something like her birthday. he was certainly right about the real flowers, as responsible wasn’t the best word for describing her. she hadn’t realized even orion had noticed the change in her general mood, for she hadn’t even mentioned recent events to him; she underestimated his attentiveness and her own unintentional signals. if anything, she was a bit...warmed that he paid such attention to her, especially when she knew he had other things to be concerned about. maybe it was just her inability to expect things from people, but the warm surprise really did bring a pure smile to her face. she wasn’t a flowers type of girl, but sometimes, every girl needed some flowers (even if they were artificial due to her own carelessness). however, it wasn’t until she got to line ‘what you are to me is immeasurable’ that gave her a sort of lump in her throat, seven words that she almost couldn’t believe, as she couldn’t see herself having such importance to someone, especially orion. she wasn’t very vocal, which meant her thanks wouldn’t be said aloud, but calling him for coffee, inviting him over, would hopefully say the thank you that didn’t come from her mouth.

[ sitting outside of her apartment is a small package with her name on it. inside is an ’I <3 New York’ shirt and the pink vibrator Evren gave him on his birthday ]

Hey asshat,

You’re officially old as shit today and I know how much you hate being sentimental so I got you these.

Just kidding, look in the fucking envelope, asshole.

[ taped inside the envelope is a subscription card to Chocolate of the Month and a necklace with Winnie the Pooh on it ]

Okay, I’ll make myself sound like a pussy for a second, but hear me out. I know you’ve had it shitty since you came back and you’re in this dark, horrible fucking place that I’ve been to once and it seems like it’ll never fucking end and I’ll save you that wishy-washy bullshit because I can’t handle being optimistic and hopeful and shit but…

Hey, it’s pretty fucking cool we’ve been friends for thirteen years, huh? I’m a Friday the Thirteenth baby and now it’s on fucking thirteen. I guess you can say I’m all your bad fucking luck in your relationship in that case if you want and blame it on that. But it’s cool we’ve been around each other that long, you drive me fucking insane and sometimes I wanna strangle you.

I love you, though.

You were my first friend in Salem, and before that, I didn’t have friends. I gave up everything for my brother and my sisters and I don’t regret that but you were the first person I could talk to about all the shit in my head. I know you like being secretive and that shit, tough girl fuckery, and you don’t want anyone else to know what the Hell goes on in your head and I know that I’m not the same. Know you can always fucking talk to me. That’s all I want. I don’t give a shit what you say, I want to know how you’re doing, if you’re okay. Or if I need to drag you from Hell and pull you the fuck out like Meg in Hercules, but with less muscle ‘cause I’m the size of a fucking twig. Whatever you fucking think of yourself, I’ll always be here to slap you on the back of the head and tell you that’s not true and you’re better than that. I know you are, we just convince… ourselves of this shite by thinking we deserve it. But the true gobshite is living under fucking capitalism and that’s the real kicker. Seriously, I don’t know where the fuck I’d be without you. You’ve seen me almost die like, too many fucking times and I don’t know why but you still show up, even if I pull the same shit over and over again.

This is fucking depressing but look. Stella.

You’re one of the most amazing and big-hearted people I’ve ever met. Know you won’t ever say that, 'cause you can be a real asshole and so can I… you’ve always showed up no matter what when I needed you, and I can’t repay that. And being my first friend, my only friend that’s stuck with me all this time, you’re like… the Christopher Robin to my Winnie the Pooh or something. I was fucking obsessed with that when I was a kid. Before I had those responsibilities.

I’ll sound like a hypocrite. I always hope that one day you’ll see it, too. Nobody knows what they’re missing out on with you. Yeah, you’ve got your issues up to here, but so do I, and I’d walk a mile to see you smile when you feel like shit and Hell in a handbasket… I would have done anything for you when I found out what happened to Iz. I would do anything for you. My love for you runs so much deeper than family, or your average friend. I always think when I leave that people won’t notice. You’re always proving me wrong.

I’m taking Evie somewhere special for her birthday and I couldn’t be home today, I’m glad I made it the day before when we celebrate together. I made sure that Orion would deliver this for me, I don’t trust the fucking postal service to be on time… Eat lots of cake for me. I’ll see you Wednesday? Free Taco Bell on me.

Yours,

Cy. xoxo // @prxphcts

PS. I may or may not have used that vibrator. But feel free to torch it for therapy! x

stella could only guess who the package and letter next to the flowers and muffins were from, and she believed she had a pretty good idea. opening the package to find a hot pink dildo and tourist shirt, her suspicions were pretty much confirmed. there was only one person who would gift her such things for her birthday, and she couldn’t blame him because she gave cyrek just as many gag gifts over the years. she knew he was away celebrating his own (and evren’s) birthdays, so she definitely didn’t expect anything after the day before, their usual day of celebrations. but cyrek was full of surprises, this one being another one. after the first few lines, she pulled the card and necklace from the envelope, chain of the jewelry wrapping around her thin fingers. reading the letter, she tried to pretend she was above all the sentimental and emotional shit, but the truth was, she needed to read it. and read it again and again, until one time she finally believed it. if one person in this world was going to tell stella the cold hard truth right to her face, it was cyrek, so she had no reason to believe his words were anything but genuine. he was that one constant, the fucking rock she could come back to no matter what was happening in her life (even when she was charged and behind bars, he was one of the couple people to fucking show up and let her know she wasn’t completely alone even when it felt like it with every single thing taken away from her). he spoke of her putting up with shit, but so much of what happened to cyrek wasn’t his fault in her eyes; it wasn’t her putting up with him, but rather helping him put up with the shit life threw at him. she’d like to think the same could be said for her, but many of the negative things in her life only happened due to her own poor choices, her own fucking stupidity. and even as she continued to make shitty choices, cyrek was there to help her through whatever mess she created for herself. she wasn’t sure she deserved such a loyal companion, but here he was regardless. neither of them seemed like the type to be the devoted best friend, and yet....they absolutely were, in their own fucked up way. as much shit as she gave cyrek at every moment possible, (and she did give him the maximum amount of shit possible) he handed it back with ease, while also letting her know she was never alone. their friendship was a rare but precious thing, something not many people could say they had such a close friend for so long, who practically grew up together. she’d have to send him a snarky text in gratitude, solidifying the offer of taco bell. as she read the added note that the end, her face grew a disgusted expression. something like that should have been expected from cyrek. nothing could stay too serious between the two of them.

#╰ ❪ the crew. ❫#╰ ❪ orion & stella. ❫#╰ ❪ cyrek & stella. ❫#idk how to tag this soooooooo lets just go with that gfdskg #tw ; death #tw ; murder

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silvasboys · 7 years

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To the Core

“No! Fucking no!”

Adrian sat silently in one of their old wooden chairs, his knees pulled up to his chest. His brother was standing, pacing, too agitated to sit still.

“You’re not fucking – they don’t get to do that! They don’t get to – without telling you – FUCK-” Marcos spun, shaking with rage, and slammed his fist against the wall. He held his knuckles hard to the brick, the tendons in his arms standing out. He wanted to hit it again. Again, and again, until his hands bled and the unyielding wall turned into the faces of every white-jacketed fuck who thought they had the right to play with his brother’s life.

“How many times?” Voice tight, Marcos refrained from shouting again with great effort.

“…she didn’t tell me.”

“And they’re gonna keep doing it? Keep fucking – giving parts of you away to faceless assholes in the city?”

“She said I’ll get sick if they don’t.”

“But – Jesus Christ, Adrian, your heart?” Marcos had turned to face him again, and beneath the fury Adrian could see the endless depths of his brother’s fear, and knew it was mirrored in his own eyes. “It’s gotta be your heart?” Smaller, now.

Marcos slid down the wall, pulling his knees up in an unintentional imitation of Adrian. A miasma hung about the room, thick and cold, untouched by the warm summer light streaming through the windows.

“We’ll leave.”

“We can’t.”

“We can. We have before.”

“We can’t. What if she’s telling the truth? What if – it’s just a matter of time, without their help?”

“It’s not help.”

“Maybe I need it.”

“It’s not free either. She said it’s free, but it’s not.”

“I know.”

“….”

“I know it’s not free. I just… don’t know how I’m paying for it.”

“They never do anything for free.”

“I know.”

Marcos ran his hands through his hair, clenching his fists again and tugging hard. “It’s wrong, Ade, don’t you see that?” He looked up, desperately searching his brother’s face for some sort of admission, some sort of acknowledgement. Adrian always played devil’s advocate for the city, but he was more aware than he let on, too. Adrian just looked back at him, and his outward calm and lack of movement was as telling in its own way as Marcos’ screaming.

“….maybe.”

There was silence. Adrian’s eyes shifted to the window; he rested his chin on one knee. His fear was spelled out in the harsh angle of every limb, the stillness of a coiled spring. “Maybe we don’t know any more,” he said.

“…what?” Adrian’s voice had dropped nearly to a whisper, and Marcos quieted along with him.

“…I don’t… know why it’s wrong any more.” There was no argument in Adrian’s statement. He was trying to sort things out just as Marcos was. And the worst part was that Marcos knew at his core that he would almost certainly have no answers for his brother. “We say it’s wrong, but-“

Adrian started to gesture, but when his fingers shook he returned them to his shins. “What makes it wrong? We barely even… remember what it was like, Marcos. Before all this. Maybe… maybe the city gives us walls, and jobs, and doctors, and in exchange we do stuff like this. Give up pieces of ourself to keep other people alive, because… because that’s fair. Or because that’s just what cities do. Maybe the old rules don’t apply. It’s the end of the world, y’know?”

Marcos knew. He’d barely understood them, all those years ago, but he’d seen the headlines. Heard the worry in the adult conversations, remembered the panic. Everything had ended, and then… somehow kept going. Kept ending. He knew what the city was doing was wrong, knew it in his heart, but…. why? What made it empirically wrong? What gave anyone the right to their own life? Wasn’t the whole point of the killjoys supposed to be that they took control of their lives by force? And if something required force to have, that meant it didn’t exist without it.

“I can’t leave until I understand what’s happening.”

Adrian’s face was in profile, rimmed by the sunlight, and for a moment Marcos felt such love and such terror that it was a pain in his chest. “I can’t stand it when they hurt you.”

“I know.”

“We can go. There’s medicine at the Cross, they can help you. Or Cass, at Vista –“

“- I don’t understand enough.”

“The contract doesn’t matter. They can make it say whatever they want -“

“I know. It’s why I signed it.”

Marcos bit his lip. It was so rare for Adrian to openly admit the company’s deception, but Marcos hated how drained he sounded. How old. “Then -“

“I don’t understand how much of what she said was true.” As he mentioned Katherine, an odd expression crossed Adrian’s face; a ghost of the admiration he held for her, despite everything. “If I really am sick, only they can help me. I don’t want to die, Marcos. Not even in the desert. Not if I’d be leaving you behind.”

Dust motes floated in the air between them. Marcos had nothing to return.

“And I don’t know how I’m paying,” Adrian continued after a moment. “Whether or not it’s… right. Whether it’s something worth giving them. I can’t leave until I know what it is.”

“…we’ll be different.”

Still facing the window, Adrian’s face went blank at his brother’s words. He said nothing.

“We won’t be the same. In here.” Marcos put a hand to his chest. His heart thumped softly, and though he knew it was fantasy, he imagined he could feel Adrian’s heart beating in time.

“…we’re already different. They’ve already taken other things.”

“But we didn’t know.”

“…”

“And it’s… it’s different. It’s-“

“Marcos-“

Marcos could feel his throat closing up, could see the way Adrian’s eyes were tightening. “…what if it doesn’t sound the same?”

“Marcos, please-“

So Marcos held his tongue, because Adrian knew. Of course he knew. Of course it had been the first thing to cross his mind, just like it had been the first thing to cross Marcos’. They were brothers, and twins, and everything about them was in tune and aligned. Everything matched. And if the city was changing that, breaking that, it hurt on a level altogether worse than pain.

“…we’ll get tattoos.”

Adrian didn’t respond, but the tears in his eyes didn’t spill over either, and after a beat he gave the barest nod.

“We’ll get ones that match this time,” Marcos continued, voice thick. “Properly match, exactly the same. Whatever they change on the inside, the ink will be the same. And we can put it back as often as we want, if they try to take it off.”

Another nod. “Cross my heart,” Adrian whispered, tracing an X on his chest.

Marcos mirrored the motion. Shallow, superficial. But something.

“Cross my heart.”

#writing #//no teaser at the top because there wasn't a graceful place to cut it #this is ROUGHER THAN I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE #emotionally not in terms of the writing

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robotnik-mun · 7 years

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http://robotnik-mun.tumblr.com/post/162801968646/alright-despite-how-this-looks-these-are

Not to mention:

1. This is why a creator’s pet or tribute character shouldn’t be a major player in the series. Even the best writers would otherwise pamper the character and ignore anything unintentional problematic action.

2. Maybe the previous Mr. Penders did straighten out his life and that’s fine, but as I believe you or others suggested, Penders never really had Locke trying to right his own wrong.

In all actually forgiveness is a virtue to cherish and be proud of, but doing so doesn’t mean one needs to let others get away with misconduct family or otherwise. Whether it’s time out, detention, suspension, jail, docking one’s pay, giving them a ticket, etc, penalties and criticism are still a necessary tool to ensure that people will likely recognize the error of their way.

But then I sometimes wonder if maybe some of his viewpoints are just an extension of how critics are just trying to be killjoy rather than helping one improve.

1. That was certainly the case here. Penders can claim he never took Locke’s side, but he was never too eager to really examine just how screwed up his actions were, nor was the fallout anywhere near as damaging as it could have been. Knuckles in particular never seemed to resent him despite the lifetime of isolation he had been forced to undergo thanks to his father and being left thinking he was the last of his kind. He just goes along with his father with nary an objection.

2. Yeah, exactly. If there had been some kind of acknowledgement, some kind of effort, some kind of *struggle*, then things might be different. Then maybe it might actually be believable. Unfortunately we got none of those things, and when confronted over any of this, Penders actually gets *defensive* about it.

I suspect you are right though- it all ties into him and his inability and refusal to accept criticism of any sort, and in this case its compounded by him investing too much into Locke than is healthy.

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burmecianblackmage · 7 years

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Just for the sake of getting my thoughts out, I figured I’d make a list of potential muses I have considered roleplaying, plus some pros and cons to them. Dunno if any of them will ever be made, but still fun to consider them sometimes. If you like any of them, feel free to say so!

Hurdy (FF Tactics Advance 2)

I have been considering the little moogle bard for a long time. He would certainly be quite fun to play, and I could let my love of music flow into his depiction in all its glory - a tempting thought. Plus, from what I see, there aren’t exactly many moogle muses around these days, so he could be a welcome change of pace for many interested partners. And other than Sceada, he would be generally perceived as cute!

As for cons, well, there is on one hand that he could quickly feel a bit one-dimensional, especially if I let my love of music run rampant with him. Of course, I could flesh him out more, but on what do I base it? There is not that much on him besides the usual stuff we see in most TA2 chars. Sticking with your friends, trusting them - and playing the Victory Fanfare. Could be cool, but could also run it’s course quickly if things don’t take off as hoped.

Noraxias Rhogar (DnD 5e Dragonborn Paladin)

Blame the sudden influx of DnD muses on my dash for this one. Rhogar is the white (because ice ice baby!) dragonborn I play in my DnD group, which sadly does not get to meet all that often. Thus he is not really all that fleshed out from the rp side, but maybe playing him here could help me with that?

A Lawful Good character could prove a challenge as I’m more used to ones willing to break a law if it can be justified, but at least he’s not a complete killjoy like other Paladins I’ve heard about. Seeing how he prays to Bahamut and swore the Oath of the Ancients he’s a bit more lenient in what he will allow his group to do - something my group btw tends to push to it’s limits quite often...

Tsuzurao/Ninetales (Okami)

I’ve long since been pondering an Okami muse and had many on my list: Waka, Issun, Oki... - all great choices, so who to pick? It’s difficult to name a muse out of these three, so I felt conflicted. Then I thought about Rao - and realized something:

If I played her, then I essentially got three muses for the price of one.

I can play her as the true Rao, the devoted, humble priestess, I can play her as the Rao we get to know, Tsuzurao with her sometimes unintentional sex appeal and sinister scheming, and I can play her as Ninetales, who was imo the most interesting of the bosses - Quite a nice package if I say so!

I’d probably need to get back deeper into the game again for that to work out though, and then there’s also the question whether I could do all three of them justice - I don’t exactly have a stellar rep sheet when it comes to female muses I’m afraid...

Louisoix Leveilleur (FF XIV)

I’ve always been fascinated by him and his wisdom, as well as his prophecies, and truth be told he is a big part of the reason I regret not having played in Legacy where we could really interact with him and learn about him. I feel he’s an interesting muse, even more so now following his fate after Carteneau, and I’m sure there’d be people interested in him.

But do I really know enough about him to play him well? Would I be able to amass that knowledge needed to fill his shoes? And how would he fit in with other XIV muses, given his status in the game’s current story? All questions I’d need to find answers to...

Ryudo (Grandia 2)

The sassy swordsman running from his past but with a heart of gold deep down somewhere is an interesting one. He could be fun to toss at muses who are a bit on the naive side, just as much as he could be fun to throw against the more fighty muses. And he certainly can hold his own in battle, no doubt.

At the same time, his fandom is small and all but forgotten. Tell me: How many of you even know who he is and what he looks like without looking him up? Grandia 2 was a big thing in 2000 but then got gradually forgotten - a pity, for it’s an interesting game. But yeah, might be hard to find people interested in him.

Master Xehanort (Kingdom Hearts series)

If there ever was a big bad with a convoluted plan, it’s him. And still, he manages to have so much style in his original incarnation! Maybe it’s Leonard Nimoy’s voice that sells him. Either way, he is an interesting character. Always a step ahead of the others, using them as puppets for his schemes... - would be quite the interesting change.

But would I even be able to play a bad guy like him? I mean, even as someone who played all parts multiple times I find it hard at times to follow his schemes, how am I supposed to be the one scheming them? And I have a feeling he might not be that popular a muse to interact with, simply because he’s an old grumpy evil mastermind...

Tamiyo (Magic: The Gathering)

I’ve been a fan of Magic for a long time. I have a deck from the first german printed run still, that my math teacher gifted me before I left her class for gymnasium, I like to follow the story and read up on what happened before I really got into it, and I am excited for the upcoming stuff. Amonkhet looks so sweet!

But the one plane that always stuck with me is councidntally also the first one I really got invested in: Kamigawa. I just loved the flavor of it, how it felt, the mythology it created - ah, I wish we would return there one day! And maybe get a Nazumi planeswalker? No? Aww... was worth the try.

Anyhow, Tamiyo as the Planeswalker from Kamigawa always fascinated me. As a scholar and researcher she fits in with what I am familiar with from Sceada, and the way her magic works is simply amazing. Using stories you collected as the catalysts for your spells? You just became the most amazing storyteller of the Multiverse, hands down.

Question is just, would I do her justice? And would a MTG muse even find people interested in her? Also, how’d I handle all these stories best?

Count Cidolfus Orlandeau (FF Tactics)

Again one that you can blame on the number of FFT muses suddenly on my dash, but really... Where have you all been? xD I always loved Tactics, and daresay it’s in my Top 5 FFs, and there were just so many impressive and interesting characters in it.

I’d probably go with Thunder God Cid should I pick a Tactics muse up, in part because I’m already used to playing badass swordsman that are practically unrivaled in their game (Hi Kamiizumi, how’ve you been?), so it seems fitting.

I’d definitely need to replay the game and read it’s lore though - Tactics can get quite complex after all. And opposed to us who learn things from Ramza’s perspective, I’d have to think about how much Cid could have known at any given point in the story... - but it’d definitely be interesting. I just hope I wouldn’t be perceived as being too overpowered...

Altenatively, I have also considered adding a One Piece verse to Sceada. He could easily be a rat mink who dresses a bit oddly, knows electro and is a capable physical fighter as opposed to a mage. And who knows? Maybe he could just stumble across the reborn Yuki-Yuki no Mi...

Question is just, if any One Piece muses would even be open to playing with him... Hrmmm...

#ooc #As always I put too much thought into this #especially knowing I may not pick any of them up after all #I mean I'd also have other muses I could bring back #Kamiizumi and Lawrence are still there #unforgotten... - but also largely unmotivated for :/

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a-cure-for-writers-block · 7 years

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Hey! I'm writing something for a short film i'm doing. Here it goes, the protagonist was supposed to be insane. He sees hallucinations everywhere, like hallucinations that actually looks real. For example, he sees his mother dying, A car is about to hit him, etc. I don't know how to make a nice story with it though. I'd like to ask for help. :D

I’m just gonna put a trigger warning for this ask- hallucinations, death. It’s fictional, but I don’t want anyone to feel uncomfortable :).

Woah a short film? That’s amazing! I checked out your blog too, it’s pretty dope- I’m hoping to take an extended diploma in photography, so I like your blog :).

Okay, onwards... So I was thinking about why our lead was having such traumatic hallucinations:

Does he have a reason to believe he deserves the hallucinations?

I began to also think about his social life, was there any reason for his hallucinations- childhood trauma, tragic accidents, etc?

Maybe your protagonist has driven himself insane by doing such horrible things that it’s all come back to him, much like karma?

Did your character experience traumatic events causing him to have to deal with the consequences?

Are we supposed to sympathise the character or is he getting what he deserves?

Is he using/taking drugs? Prescribed or not, forms of antidepressants can cause hallucinations. Hallucinogens can have long after-effects.

Is he being drugged? By family (it could be unintentional or not), friends, distant relatives, the government ayyeee.

This jogged my memories of The True Lives of the Fabulous Killjoys graphic novel. If you’re into My Chemical Romance it’s related to their final album. However, during the music videos before the graphic novels they have a faux advert in which they are advertising the drugs that the city insists on everyone using, almost equal to antidepressants. You can watch the video Here and another (less weird one, but still strange) Here. The basic storyline is about 4 ‘killjoys’ who have escaped Battery City to the zones. The story is based in a post-apocalyptic world in 2019 in which Battery City is formed, forcing everyone into taking the drugs to equalise emotions and basically make everyone a robot. Oh and there are robots too. Anyway, my point here is that you could use this as a prompt: maybe he had a particularly bad reaction to the same drugs that everyone else is taking, being rushed in and out of hospital, but to no avail. I just thought it was a pretty intricate idea and there’s loads of Killjoy prompts and headcanons out there for anyone who’s interested in the storyline.

I was also thinking that maybe your character could have a make-believe group of friends, maybe he mixes fantasy up with reality and that causes his parents to become angry, that could lead to him having the vision of her being hit by a car? Think about how each of your ideas could link into/back up another point that you have! Write loads of mind-maps of your character, he is important and needs exploring- he’s got a lot going on, poor guy. I’m currently reading Silver Linings Playbook and the protagonist loses track of time, he doesn’t understand how 2 years has past so quickly. Also in Sherlock when he becomes unaware of his surrounding: “When did we get in a taxi?” “About 20 minutes ago, Sherlock” “Oh, I must’ve zoned out, people were talking, none of it was important.” or whatever it is that Sherlock says, I don’t have his sort of memory, sorry.

You could honestly go down any path with this story, there’s so much to it, so keep writing! I’d say write down all of the possible reasons and then all of the possible actions he could or has made due to the hallucinations. Just write and draw as much information as you can, the more, the better.

I’d love to read your outcome and I hope that this helped a little! It was very interesting to think about, have some fun with it! Good luck darling, lots of love from Yasmine xox

Also your url is the best thing in the world omg.

#i really tried to help out but I dunno if this is what y'all looking for #story help #help my book #help my story #writing help #your prompts #tag me in your stuff #myfriendlyneighbourhooddankmeme #ask #ask and answer #ask answered #yay for writing #you can do it

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