#people really do think I look 16 or 17 and many think my mental age is about the same

[turtle-toe]

My experience with and opinion on fat acceptance

I am currently 16 years old and 5'6, 169 pounds. I need to tell my story.

I've been fat or chubbier my entire life due to poor eating habits taught to me early on. "Oh, you want thirds on that giant plate of yours? Sure, go right ahead." But I never really noticed until about 5th grade and really got self conscious in 6th grade. But, I was healthy. I'd say I was around 5'3 and 155-160 pounds. I moved around a lot, I was running with no thought about breath control every day at recess. But I still sucked in my guy and wore giant shirts so no one could see the shape of my body. Then, Covid hit.

I gained what i thought was so much weight during lockdown, as everyone else did too, as well as my oh so quirky mental illnesses. I was at 168 and it made me feel horrible. But not in the health way but the outer appearance way. Then I discovered fat acceptance.

I went from sucking in my gut to being sucked into a harmful mindset that I cannot change but that's okay.

Now, I have to give the movement credit where it's due; it both positively and negatively affected me. The negative part was that i gained about 20 pounds. I got to 180. The positive was that I gained confidence that I desperately needed. I started to not care as much about what I thought people would think, I started to wear more form fitting clothes, I started to even wear two piece swimsuits. But that 20 pounds felt absolutely horrible. And after about two years in the fat acceptance movement, I finally got out of it.

I finally stopped blaming everyone else, either for not being "fat positive" or for being the ones who made me fat. I finally stopped thinking the "naturally" skinny girls were my worst enemy. I finally stopped blaming my genetics. I finally realized just how much I was grossly overeating. I finally saw just how bad I was and how the path I was taking would've lead me to major health problems and an unhappy life filled with resentment and bitterness.

So I took that confidence given to me by the movement and I used it to better myself. After many ups and downs, I managed to get down to 162. I've gained 7 pounds back but I'm trying my best to be consistent. And this health journey started because I wanted to be healthier and just feel better, mostly because I wanted to justify it because I thought that it was wrong of me to want to lose weight to look a certain way. But honestly, fuck that. I don't care if it's fat phobic of me to want my own body to be smaller. So, health is a priority for me but I will be damned if I don't start looking the way I want.

And I tagged this with so many of these fat acceptance tags because I know for damn sure that I would've needed this post three years ago. To hear how it affected someone close to my age. So to anyone who is feeling like shit because you feel as though you can't lose weight or you don't feel as pretty as others; you can do this. You're absolutely gorgeous and handsome and pretty and interesting no matter how you look. But please, please, please don't take to the fat acceptance movement as a way go block out and ignore your insecurities. It doesn't work, it will only get worse. I lost those 17 pounds just by eating a few more vegetables and very inconsistent exercise. I realize everyone is different but it's way easier than you think it is.

Please, y'all, take care of yourselves.

#fat acceptance #tw fatphobia #fat liberation #fat life #fat activism #anti fatness #health at every size #haes #body postivity #body positive #body posititivity #intuitive eating #body neutrality #fat positive #fat positvity #fat politics #cw fatphobia #weight loss #diet #weightloss #healthy diet #tw weight #tw weighloss

[spookyc]

So I was watching season 2 clips of dead end as you do and I was watching the one where Badyah has her totally normal and straight imagining of Norma and Zagan being a thing. You know the whole twilight parody scene. And along with commentors having no sense of humor, of course they have to spin it towards the ship being problematic.

And I will say, as someone who was kinda sorta spoiled on this, I had my worries too, but if you're looking at the actual context of the show, there's nothing to get upset over. Yes, Zagan is 1600, but that's because she was turned when she was 16, so physically, she is still in the body of a 16-year-old. But before you bring up mental age, it's also very clear that she still thinks like a 16-year-old. You don't even have to look at season 2 for this, it's apparent from her first appearance that she's childish and immature.

Like how she talks about how it's "so unfair" that her brother gets to rule over planes when she doesn't. Or later in the finale, when she loses to Temeluchus and is threatening to tell their mom about it. So she's very clearly still a teenager.

And Norma is 17, so what, one year age gap, technically. Is this really what we're getting upset over? Because it's not an issue when a vampire is thousands of years old and looks like an adult and gets with a fellow adult but when a 16 year old gets turned and is 16 for a thousand years and there is the hint of a possible relationship with a 17-year-old, suddenly it's problematic.

This is not the same as the "1,000-year-old loli" that anime likes to use as a cover up. You wanna know why? Because those characters have the appearance of children but supposedly "have the minds of adults" and it's just a twisted way of getting away with having an adult be with what is clearly a child. The same case is true of dragon maid, where the dragons are said to be hundreds of years old but Kana clearly looks like a child and even goes to fucking kindergarten and is still sexualized.

The problem is that there is a clear disconnect between the physical and mental age of the character, but that isn't the case in dead end. Zagan's physical and mental age match up, and her and Norma aren't even sexualized, they literally just kiss in Badyah's imagination which was a twilight parody, it was supposed to be comedic.

And yet I've even see people try to say that "Well Norma doesn't even look her age" which like, excuse my language, but kindly fuck off. I, like Norma, am a very short individual, 5'2 in fact and I can remember a clear and recent example where I was called 16 instead of 18. So you're literally playing into the stereotype that short adults don't exist and that if you're short then you must be younger. But I'm sorry, some people just do not look their age, I often compare myself to that of a 12-year-old boy (which hey, still a boy) but that doesn't make me 12.

Norma isn't portrayed to be any younger than the other characters, she's just at a lesser height compared to them. But that doesn't make her automatically younger than them. And also, I'd like to say, that DE:PP is a CARTOON so of course things are going to be exaggerated, it kinda comes with the medium.

And one final thing, I've also seen people bring up the point of "but what about when Norma gets older" and it's like. Come on, guys. No one actually thinks this ship is going to be endgame. It's simply just not happening and I would be willing to bet my entire bank account on that. Not that I and many others don't enjoy it, but let's be honest with ourselves. Hell, if we're taking Norma's word for it, she literally says Zagan isn't her type. And even if they go back on that now that Norma is training under Zagan, at most, they'll be a fling. But they certainly won't last long enough to be an established couple or anything like. And even in a universe where they were endgame, all that would have to happen is for Zagan to make Norma a vampire with her. And then BOOM problem solved.

Anyway, just wanted to get that off my chest before twitter inevitably makes a callout post about it, that is, if it doesn't implode within the next few weeks.

#dead end paranormal park #dead end #dead end park #de:pp #norma khan #dead end zagan #de:pp discussion #mentions of csa #mentions of dragon maid

[iloveamagician]

OH, DISMEMBERMENT PLAN...

what an insane band name, when I first started listening to them, I had no idea what "to dismember" meant, I only looked up the dictionary definition after seeing people's reactions such as "????????" and "the WHAT plan????!!!!", when they had been recommended the band. It happens. I feel it belongs to the experience of people who aren't native speakers of English, yet they've grown up surrounded by music in the language. Music comes first, lyrics second, meaning... third??

I still have a clear memory of ten-year-old me memorizing all the lyrics to my favorite Linkin Park songs. While I recognized some of the words I was singing along to, I wasn't able to decipher their meanings and wasn't even trying to. That band was my first real obsession. Hyperfixation, perhaps. They were the music I would play when I was given access to youtube on the family computer. Turns out I didn't get to grow up to be the person who gets the aux. In my teenage years I went through so many more music phases, a journey I'd love to discover in better detail across many more posts in the future. There was my metal phase with a milion subphases within it (since there is probably more subgenres than bands), then a prog and alt rock phase, then in the summer of 2019 a friend introduced me — 16 year old, coming to terms with their newly discovered queer identity — to car seat headrest, which swept me like an ocean wave and irreversibly changed my music taste and also me as a person.

The world of indie music opened itself to me, so many new artists, bands, but more importantly specific albums by those artists, dc snuff film/waste yrself, the glow pt. 2, itaots, souvlaki... all the classics, but none of them had a hold on me as strong as Twin Fantasy by CSH, Come In by Weatherday, Funeral by Arcade Fire, YWNKW by Sweet Trip, and – well, my Elliott Smith obsession was yet to come but we can count XO in there too. But in the midst of all these albums, you could find Emergency & I, a record that I enjoyed when I first listened to it, I didn't really think much of it, but I really felt the need to return to it. And then again and again, I best enjoyed the fun, most standard songs, What Do You Want Me To Say and Gyroscope, I loved hearing the small weird details in them, the time signatures, the mindblowing drumming... the album didn't mean a lot to me at first. I was still 17 when I first heard it, I needed to grow into it.

A year later I got into a long distance relationship, I started university, I moved from my small town to a big city. And it sucked, I wasn't really able to make any friends, I couldn't handle the pressure of schoolwork, my depression got much worse, my adhd meds weren't really doing anything, at some point I stopped leaving my dorm room and I ended up sinking into a deep metaphorical pit and eventually dropping out after four months. Fun stuff. The reason why I am mentioning all this is that there is a strong correlation between my music journey and my life journey. And Emergency & I is the college age young adult album. There is so much loneliness packed into it but it's not exactly sad or depressing. This album can be kind of laid back, or extremely anxious, it can be very nihilistic and dystopian, it can be very fun or it can completely rip your heart out, it can make you think "yeah I do know these people", it can be very silly and the next second it throws the most poetic and beautiful words at you that fill your heart and head with an abundance of images and feelings. And it gets better the more you grow into it and the more you relate to it, and even if you don't relate to everything, the songwriting and storytelling is so perfect and emotionally intense that it will rip its claws into you and never let you go.

In the last year and a half I've managed to get myself into a much better place in terms of mental health and academic success. I started studying again, this time a subject I love (languages), I found some amazing friends, the long distance relationship has turned into a less distance relationship and we see each other relatively often and things are going great and I finally realized that Emergency & I is the best album ever made. Because even when everything is going great, maintaining all those parts of my life is not easy at all and this album knows it too well. Okay, maybe it is not the best album ever made, but it is the best album for me. At this stage of my life.

But do I claim that after over three years, I understand the meaning of this album perfectly? Not really. Well, I bet not even Travis Morrison does, because how could he have predicted the intensity of the feelings I go through each time I listen to the album, or the impossible to fill void that appears inside of my chest after the final track ends, making me long for more of those feelings but also making me sad becuase there is nothing else quite like E&I...

And, you know, maybe I was wrong and the song meaning does not come third. Maybe the first time you listen to a song, it already means something to you. Maybe that is why I was drawn back to the album. Each time I listen to it I am a different person. And the songs mean different things. Of course I understand more of the song lyrics the more I read them and listen to them and analyze them but words can only go so far in terms of meaning. The band created the songs with certain ideas in their heads but those ideas have been transformed so many times, from their minds through their instruments, on paper, to the recordings, the masters, and then to the ears and minds of thousands of people, through different mediums, through different means of discovery. Songs mean different things to you when a friend recommends them to you or when you find them on your own, even before you listen to them. And I am not even mentioning live performances where your body vibrates with the music and the room and the songs are changed ever so slightly each time. Nobody experiences music the same way.

And I could talk for hours about what exactly the album means to me but I cannot and also do not want to fit all of it in one post. I want to dedicate a separate post to each of the songs on this album, which is one of the things my blog is going to be about, but I don't want to limit myself to being only a dismemberment plan fan, I want to document my music journey here, both by looking into the past and sharing my current favorites (for example get ready for a ton of weatherday posting this year). This post is just me speaking random sentences into the void, to prepare everyone for all of my future long posts, which are also going to be me ranting into the void, hoping things will end up making at least some sense to at least one of you (assuming somebody will read this, but I know this place is full of nerds just as obsessed with things as me (or even more, actually) so my chances aren't a complete zero).

tldr listen to dismemberment plan, it might change your life. I am not conscious enough to proofread. goodnight <3

#dismemberment plan #indie rock #music #csh #90s music #indie #weatherday #nonbinary #I plan to irreversibly damage the music taste of all the gays on here and I am not sorry

[weltonlasso]

Someone needs to shake Ted and remind him that when oxygen masks come down on planes you put your own mask on before you put it on your kid.

I just can't imagine this ending well for him...

ABSOFUCKINLUTELY they do. Had about 5 old women comment on a Tweet I made about this to tell me that I was not supposed to understand the overall story of Ted Lasso. that it was “obvious I don’t have children” and couldn’t possibly get what is so beautiful about Ted choosing Henry.

(k. Thanks Pam, I’m so glad all the Facebook moms with the awesome insights got the Ted Lasso ending they wanted!!!!!!)

I have been telling myself—like legit people are saying 10/10 perfect finale, no notes, which is truly insane to me but also here’s the goddamn thing.

I am a child of divorce. My my dad cheated on my mom constantly when I was young. When I was 16 I got a birthday card from an address I didn’t recognize. I opened it, thinking probably an old aunt or something. It was signed “with love, your sister xxx and not mom xxx”

and that’s how I found out from one of his mistresses ON MY BIRTHDAY that I had another sibling. I just sat there in the driveway of my house while I tried to reorient myself to this new world I found myself in. AT SIXTEEN.

My youngest sister (by my mom) was 6 at this time. And my mom made her choice to stay with my dad out of obligation to their children. She didn’t want my younger sisters to grow up in a different home than the one we lived in. She wanted to raise all of her kids there no matter what.

He left us a year later.

Cut to the next 10 years of my life 17-27 trying to be my moms partner, confidant, punching bag—she took all of her anger for him and directed it at me because I was still there.

My life will never be the same because of actions and choice that my dad made that specifically caused me and my family pain. I have spent years in therapy and will probably never ever have a relationship with him again. Obviously.

But it also really sucked having a single parent who relied on me for EVERYTHING. It is only now many year later, in therapy, that I can recognize the psychological effects and the physical toll it took on me to play that role. And I had no other choice because I was a child and this was what my mom needed from me. I did not have the skills to recognize that pulling me into the role of adult and spouse and caretaker to my parent would fundamentally change they way I saw myself and how I interpreted things around me. I wish to god my mom had not put that on me. It’s hard enough finding yourself as a child, it doesn’t help to have the extra burden of being “caretaker” to a parent when you’re still learning who you are. When your feelings are never validated because you’re always making sure your parent is happy and supported. YOU FEEL VERY ISOLATED. It’s a fucking burden to have to do this for a parent!!!!!!!!!!!!! And be strong for them when there isn’t anyone to be strong for you!!!!!!!!

Phewww felt compelled and somehow that all came out and now y’all finally know my big connection to the show!!! Father trauma at age 16!!! It’s fun here!!!!! Let’s NOT do that to Henry, how about?

Cause Ted definitely would have had enough therapy by now to be aware enough of the pressure he’d be putting on his young son by acting this way. and it frustrates the shit out of me that the show can use this misguided interpretation of “therapy” to say LOOK AT OUR SHOW ABOUT MENTAL HEALTH and then literally drop the ball on the storyline, like legit. Just. stopped. caring.

Instead the show really said: like ya actually instead of all that baggage, let’s cut that for time. From now on Ted is just a mystical woman who floats in and out of the lives of the people who need her.

WHO NEEDS THERAPY WHEN U CAN FLY.

#I guess Mary kinda FLOATS IN WITH HER UMBRELLA BUT U GRT MY POINT #sorry for oversharing !!!!!! #but this therapy thing has just had me in a fuckin rage all day #TED LEARNED NOTHING IN THERAPY #ted lasso #anonymous #anon asks

[evendale]

Twenty Questions for Fic Writers

I was tagged in this by the lovely @once-in-a-blue-moon-rising. Thank you! 😊 It's nice to revisit my fics, it's been a while.

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

23

2. What's your total Ao3 word count?

1,014,041 words. Yikes 😂

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Most of my works are in the La Casa de Papél fandom. Before that, I was in the Miss Fisher's Murder Mysteries fandom. I also have a handful of ficlets in the fandom for the Stormlight Archive books by Brandon Sanderson.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

My top 5 fics by kudos are all in the LCDP fandom, and they're all +100k words.

Number one is 'The White Queen', a Regency romance AU. It's got almost double the amount of kudos than the second-highest fic.

'Personal Relationships', a canon-compliant AU.

'Back to Galicia', a movie star second chance AU.

'Safe House', a witness protection program AU.

'Tell Me What You Like', a collection of canon 'fill the gap' smutty scenes.

5. Do you respond to comments?

I used to 😅 I used to love spending a lot of time writing elaborate and personal responses to comments, and I in fact met several of my best fandom friends through comment conversations! However, over time I just simply didn't have the energy for it anymore. There are still a bunch of super lovely comments on the last chapter of my last fic that I really should have responded to, but I simply don't have the mental space. I do feel bad about that 🙈

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I don't write angsty endings. I love angst in the main fic, but I'm committed to HEAs :)

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Probably 'The White Queen', where I spent about 50k words describing just how happy they were 😂

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I've had a few nasty comments, but they're absolutely nothing compared to the vast sea of incredibly kind, lovely, and supportive comments I've gotten. I've been very lucky.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

My earlier work is almost entirely smut 😂 It's funny to see my later fics evolving into containing more and more plot, and less and less smut. I wonder how my readers felt about that 😂 The smut is explicit, but I've always tried to keep it tasteful.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

I haven't written any crossovers yet. I'm usually obsessed with only one piece of media at a time :)

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Yes -- I discovered a few years ago that one of my LCDP fics had been stolen and put on Amazon for money! It took ages to explain things to Amazon (because I didn't own the characters) and to get it taken down. It was a very icky feeling.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes, I've had several requests from people who wanted to translate my fics into Russian :)

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No, and I don't think I could. I love to brainstorm about plot with a friend or beta reader, but I couldn't actually share the writing process. I'm too much of a control freak 😅

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

If we're only looking at the first 2 seasons of LCDP, then Serquel. However, the subsequent seasons partially ruined them for me, so maybe I'd better choose Phryne and Jack from Miss Fisher's Murder Mysteries.

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

My only unfinished fic on AO3 is 'Tell Me What You Love' in the LCDP fandom, but that's more a series of vignettes that I kept open in case I wanted to add more. It wasn't really meant to have an ending. That said, I don't think I'll ever add to it anymore.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Dialogue, I think. I also think in general I'm a clear writer who gets to the point without too many flourishes or detours.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

For a long time, I felt like I couldn't come up with any kind of original plot, but I think I got better at that over time. I'm still pretty bad at descriptions, though. I just want to get to the action and dialogue, and I forget that my readers are not in my head and can't see the characters or surroundings like I do :D

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I wouldn't include more than a few words of phrases sprinkled through the dialogue.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Miss Fisher's Murder Mysteries. I was all of 26 when I first discovered fanfiction!

20. Favourite fic you've written?

That's such a tough choice 😅😅 If I absolutely have to choose, then I think 'The White Queen'. I was really just writing the exact fic that I wanted to read myself with that one. I had so much fun with it, I was so inspired that the chapters literally flowed out without any effort, and I got the most amazing response to it from the fandom. It will always be extra special to me 😊

I'm not tagging anyone in particular, but if you see this and want to do it, consider yourself tagged! :)

#fanfiction

[mo0nl0v3r]

th!nspo challenge ;

NOTE : I'm only gonna update this on this tab cause I don't want my other posts to get lost in this series thing... also my stats are already uploaded so imma start on day 2 :) NOT PRO

DAY 2 : i'm 5'2.... i do like my height sometimes i wish i was taller so i could present as thinner but its not one of my biggest problems

DAY 3 : I have a Pinterest board that I love its called tattoo inspo (I made it with a bunch of ballet & hour-class grunge girls in it. I named it tattoo inspo so it doesn't present weird cause it sounds like thinspo plus I can put skinny people with dope tattoos in

DAY 4: my greatest fear is that I'm gonna look sick or lose hair that's terrifying to me

DAY 5: I'm doing it for myself but the praise doesn't hurt :) also the way i could wear anything and look good sounds amazing

DAY 6 : sometimes nothing crazy but occasionally do slip up and eat a couple unhealthy things

DAY 7 : my parents do know that i try to eat healthy and that i "occasionally" count calories and try to lose weight . They think its a good thing

DAY 8 : i dont have one yet i just try to do as many crunches and sit-ups i can and i try to walk at least 1 mile a day

DAY 9 : I don't know honestly , sometimes i think they do but they've never said it to my face .

DAY 10 : freedom tbh

DAY 11 : @green-tea-111 i love there thinspo

DAY 12 : i usualy eat whatever i want but at a restriction

DAY 13 : I'm losing weight in both a healthy way and a unhealthy way because its not the point where its bad for my body but it can take a tole on my mental health sometimes

DAY 14 : My UGW is 102lb i really wanna get down there cause that would not only mean I would be like skinny but it would get my BMI down to 18.5 and thats the minimum healthy BMI. so def ideal

DAY 15: i am not vegan or vegetarian... i did try it a couple years ago and i actually gained weight cause i would only eat carbs so def didn't work for me

DAY 16: well literally for as long as i can remember probably around age 10 or 11 but most recent decision to lose weight was back in September of this year

DAY 17: I do have disorded eating

day 18: pasta , gordita tortillas , chocolate , chips , candy , ice cream , ritz crackers

DAY 19: tbh yesterday i had a happy meal

DAY 20: calorie counting or portioned eating cause diets are really hard for me

DAY 21 :

pants : medium or size 10

shirts : medium (but i prefer baggier stuff)

DAY 22: 7 pounds at birth ;) no but actually 100 pounds it was in 2019 i was in dance and i would dance 3-5hours a day and i did have distordered eating at the time and i gained due to my depression and binging

DAY 23 : a little... it didnt start it but it definitely helped

DAY 24: im not pro ana and i am definitely not pro mia, bulimia tears you apart so quickly its just sad especially when you do research on how it effects your body and how it only deteriorates you instead of making you thinner

DAY 25: i have unfortunately, it was rough i did it on occasion for about 2 weeks before i decided to do research and decided it wasnt for me

DAY 26: Wearing whatever i want and being less insecure. I cant wait till im skinny so i can just be happy with whatever i wear

DAY 27: I’m cool with food being infront of me I usually struggle most with it when its late or im alone cause thats when i tend to eat the most

DAY 28: It would be cool but its not what i want most i really want thinner arms and a tiny waist

DAY 29: unfortunately its mostly western beauty standards ( im part mexican and have very mexican features ) so its rough when i want the hour glass waist and a slope nose cause my body just hasn’t been able to do that

DAY 30: 10 facts about me

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#pro ana #th!nspo #tw ed relapse #ed trigger warning #ed rant

[blinditcms]

MONROE FLETCHER - COX on the cover of this week’s most recent tabloid! many say that the 29 YEAR OLD looks like EMMA D'ARCY, but i don’t really see it. while  the ACTOR is known for being GREGARIOUS my inside sources say that they have a tendency to be PESSIMISTIC i swear, every time i think of them, i hear the song REBEL REBEL –– DAVID BOWIE

BASIC INFORMATION:

name: monroe alexander fletcher - cox. nicknames: roe. pronouns: they / them. gender: nonbinary. age: twenty-nine. date of birth: july 8th , ‘93. place of birth: chicago , illinois. astrological sign: cancer. orientation: pansexual.

APPEARANCE:

height: 5 foot 7. hair colour: naturally light brown , currently bleached blond. eye colour: green. wardrobe style: primarily wears highly stylised outfits , following the latest fashion trends from the runway. when dressing more casually , they tend to go for bulky , oversized outfits for comfort and privacy. tattoos: a few small ones scattered across their body. piercings: ears.

HEALTH:

physical ailments: is 40% deaf in left ear. mental ailments: major depressive disorder. alcohol use: drinks socially. drug use: uses socially. addictions: smoking / vaping.

PERSONALITY:

positive traits: gregarious , uplifting , passionate. negative traits: pessimistic , impatient , blunt. mbti: INFJ-A.

ACTIVITIES & SKILLS:

skills: acting , screenwriting , rock climbing. weaknesses: most physical activity. languages spoken: english ( fluent ), french ( fluent ).

FAMILY:

father: ronald collins ( alive , fifty - three ) mother: kate collins nee waterman ( alive , forty - nine ) siblings: older sister ( alive , 30 - 31 ) , 8 younger siblings ( alive , 16 - 28 )

CAREER/LIFE DETAILS ( tw: child abuse, neglect , alcoholism , misogyny , homophobia , religion , heart attack ) :

monroe grew up in the suburbs of chicago illinois. their parents were high-school sweethearts , but that was where the cuteness started and ended. the collins’ owned a butcher shop in the city and as soon as ronald left high school , he started working for his father full - time. kate , pregnant and married at 17 , gave birth to their first baby when she had just turned 18 , monroe’s older sister. within a few months , she was pregnant again. the collins and waterman families went to the same church , and believed in traditional gender roles. however , when they had five children and monroe was 7 , grandpa collins died from a heart attack , and left the business to ronald. within two months of ronald being the sole owner and boss , the business was struggling financially. he’d always worked with the meat , but he’d never had to take care of the books.

their mother , kate , quickly joined the business , learning accounting as she went along. as soon as monroe and their sister returned from school , she would rush out the door and leave the 7 and 8 year olds to take care of their smaller siblings. initially , it was only for a few hours. however , the babies kept coming , encouraged by their church to build a big family , and soon , kate left all of the childcare to them.

grades started to drop , often having to start school late or skip school altogether to take care of their little siblings. monroe and their sister often took turns , making sure each of them got a somewhat decent education. however , as the church had their roots in the community and the school as well , cps was never informed. even when monroe and their sister started coming to school with bruises. as the stress of the business got worse , ronald and kate had both turned to the bottle , and when drunk , it took very little to tick them off.

living at home had become a hell. the first four siblings after them had been boys , to the parents’ delight , but they were often exempt from doing any work around the house and they held no respect for their elder siblings. their lives revolved around the church and monroe knew that whatever they felt inside , the dysphoria , the attraction to women and people who didn’t conform to normal gender roles ... they couldn’t express any of it. forced to wear skirts , not allowed to wear trousers except for gym shorts , they loathed every bit of themselves and developed depression.

as the children got older , some of the boys started to help out a bit more. instead of staying home to take care of their siblings , they got called to the shop every now and then , earning nothing more than pocket money , but saving every penny. their sister , like their parents , was married to a church boy the week she turned 18 , and moved in with his family. however , there was little talk about who monroe should end up with. after all , they needed help taking care of the smaller kids , and maybe even their parents knew that a traditional marriage would not go over easy with them.

however , the minute they finished high school , monroe turned tail and ran. abandoning their siblings. taking all their savings with them , taking a greyhound bus and travelling to new york city. they slept in hostels for a few weeks , before finding a job as a live - in nanny for a french family. during that time , they officially got their name changed to what it is now , found friends and for the first time in their life , felt alive. they went to drag shows and the theatre and fell in love. that’s what they wanted.

they started auditioning for small amateur plays , rehearsing as much as they could with their busy nanny schedule , but the family they lived with was supportive. soon , they started taking acting lessons and auditioning for larger companies , sending in self - tapes. it was a slow start , but they’ve hit their big break now. and they’re never going to let it go.

#* ☆ monroe fletcher-cox. | muse.

[manthrochap-blog]

well well well. look who finally figured out what email he used for his old blog....

so, hi. the last post on this blog was from december 2016, so... i’d expect most of my followers are inactive and the few people i follow who are still active probably unfollowed ages ago, unless they never cleared out their accounts... but i thought i’d make a little post here as a sort of update and finally offer a means of contact

so. i’m freshly 23 years old now (jesus CHRIST). i’m not using this blog anymore, so i won’t be updating my bio/about/whatever to reflect that, but i’ll note i exclusively use he/him now. while homestuck is still constantly in my periphery (more literal than that sentence should be, there’s a dave strider vinyl figure in a bin almost within eyesight of my desk chair...) i haven’t really engaged with it in... years... other than a recent look at its unfinished japanese translation, seeing as i started learning the language a few years ago and got curious. i still stan aradia hardcore, btw, nothing in life will Ever change that

as you can probably (hopefully) predict from the fact that i was 17 when i last used this blog (and 13-16 when i used it actively) and i am now 23, this blog, uh... would not be a great reference point for determining what kind of person i am now. i won’t write it off as completely detached from my present identity, and i’m not saying this because there’s some sort of “dirt” you could dig up from looking through my posts (there... really isn’t, just a whole lot of cringe), i’d just like to make it clear that judging the present me by whatever the hell was wrong with me when i was a teenager would leave you with a lot of inaccuracies about me. being a teenager sucks and you’ve got way more things wrong with you mentally than any other stage of your life and i’m happy to report many of those things wrong with me have resolved themselves with time, but also, the cringe. the cringe. my god the cringe, please for the love of god know that while i am still cringe i am not as bad as i once was

anyways, what i am trying to communicate is that while the person who ran this blog and myself may technically inhabit the same body, we’re not quite the same person; and yet, this is still my body, my face, my words, my thoughts, all contained here, even if i no longer understand those thoughts and feelings and words, no longer feel like the face depicted is my face. going through and making every single one of my old posts unrebloggable would be not only tedious but a ridiculous, gargantuan task, considering my post count is just short of 50,000 and no matter how many of those are reblogs that i wouldn’t need to alter, it took long enough just deleting a bunch of old selfies that i truly don’t think it would be worth it

thus, my request is this: my art is all fair game, but any (old) personal posts or selfies i'd like left alone. no likes, no reblogs, just let them be, please. while i've left a good portion of the latter up for posterity, i'd prefer you not even look for them. likewise, i've gone through and deleted all instances of my deadname; do not try to seek it out. or i may smite you in real life

other than all of that, i'm willfully leaving this blog up as an archive. please don't abuse that, please respect my requests regarding what i am and am not okay with being interacted with, and please keep a healthy barrier in your mind between who i was as a teenager and my new, adult self, because even i don't know what i was going on about back then

with all of that finally out of the way, if you're looking to contact me for whatever reason, you'll find my new blog in my next (and probably final, ever, for this blog) reblog. that post is a plea for a friend of mine who i miss and have completely lost contact with to come and talk with me again, if they'd like, so i'm hoping that posting this here and giving them a way of contacting me might help if they ever come back and look at this blog, which was the impetus for me hunting down my own log-in info to begin with, though not the sole reason (i really did want to purge this fucking thing of its evils even if only a little i've been meaning to do that for ages)

i don't intend to ever deactivate that blog just as i won't be deactivating this one, but as a failsafe, you can also email nisutitja @ gmail, because i don't really wanna just... put my discord where everyone can see it. that is not my main email, but i do own that address. might be a little late on the response but it should be reliable enough

#veeeery long post huh... and probably repetitive #but i was swapping between writing this and cleaning out my blog so my train of thought. was not completely on the rails the whole time #anyways. time to rb that post real quick

[eeveerevo]

I HATE BAKUDEKU. (I don't care about hate)

(By Portals and Therapy)

Ok. So I know Quora is basically the haven for fighting about things like this.

And, my answer is yes. (It’s why bkdk is bad, but some people are saying yes and no, so-)

I haven’t posted in a while so I may be a little rusty but I believe I can come up with a decent argument.

A simple response would say, “because Bakugo told Izuku to jump off a roof” or “10+ years of bullying” and I’m not saying I don’t agree, but people are going to come at you for that.

Bakugo never said anything merely close to wholesome for more than 300 chapters. Or, basically 10+ years of Izuku’s life. 10 years. I’m sure you all know even 1 year goes by slow. Izuku, on the other hand, didn’t show much depression or reaction out of this, but he did cry constantly as a kid. Just because Izuku doesn’t break down or start going bonkers when Bakugo says something rude to him for the millionth time, doesn’t imply they should be romantically shipped with each other under the fact that Izuku is okay with the bullying.

The romanticizing of the both of them is my real problem here. Platonically, I’d be somewhat alright with it.

Another reason, they are minors. At least 16 or 17. Not to say that two people can’t date around that age, but the shipping of two 16 year old teenagers who haven’t had any serious romantic relations is a problem. Fictional or not. I’ve seen sexual things about this ship, and it boggles my mind how people don’t realize how young they really are. This may be a silly metaphor, but this ship is like shipping a dog with a snake. It just doesn’t work. On so many levels. In this case, Bakugo is the snake while Izuku is the dog. Izuku is kind, and good natured, and hasn’t done much wrong or out of line in his life. He’s innocent and doesn’t speak out much unless it’s something he knows his way around. In terms of relationships, Izuku needs someone who matches his energy and someone who likes him the way he is. Now, tell me, where in description of Izuku, did Bakugo match? Bakugo is loud and outgoing, and won’t take criticism or people who are against him. He is constantly going head first into dangerous situations. Bakugo needs someone who can calm him, but at the same time, be on his side. As well as match his energy. Izuku may try to calm Bakugo down, but there are far better people who do a good job at it. Izuku might agree with and understand Bakugo, but when they disagree, it gets violent and dangerous at times. Thinking about it, if they were in a relationship, it might as well be abusive. Bakugo pushes people too hard, and hurts the people who he may not even want to hurt. So, from where I see it, Izuku would get worn out and maybe even depressed after dealing with Bakugo in a romantic relationship. It took them over 300 chapters to even merely apologize, so a relationship wouldn’t last.

I haven’t even gotten to the shippers yet. The BakuDeku shippers are probably the worst influences I’ve ever seen. A majority of them are way too toxic to even talk to. But, I will admit, some of them keep to themselves. The ship has such a major influence on them, that they usually shove the ship down people’s throats, even to the point where they send death threats to the author. The fact that they will go above and beyond to get someone to believe the ship, and expect that person to just come clean. I have dealt with lots of BakuDeku shippers, and frankly, the evidence they have seems desperate. To a misinterpreted eye contact, to the colors green and orange next to each other, they are desperate.

Keep in mind, this is all coming from a person who has been bullied in and out of depression for almost 3 years. I’m sure anyone who was bullied for multiple years can agree and say that the dynamic between the two characters is commonly relatable. I never had anything close to romantic feelings for him in the 3 years that he mentally traumatized me. And by the looks of it, Izuku doesn’t have any romantic feelings for Bakugo either.

I’m also very confused about why BakuDeku shippers continue to say it’s canon, even when joking. As well as targeting the author, Horikoshi, and saying he wanted this. My Hero Academia is a shonen manga. Focused on fighting and violence. Shonen mangas rarely ever have relationships, not to mention gay ones. Horikoshi is so infamous, I don’t think he even knows that people are romantically shipping them. Nor would he care. I don’t think he, or anyone helping him with the series, has any time for shipping or any other mostly American thing. It’s crazy how people actually make assumptions like that about him. He lives in an entirely different country.

And most of them will say “the character development”

Right, so the character development that had to wait 10+ years, and over 300 chapters? It’s not enemies to lovers. It’s about a kid without a quirk. The character development, that might have changed Bakugou’s actions, but still can’t justify them being shipped? As I’ve said before, the character development between Bakugo and Deku was bound to happen. The series would’ve been extremely boring and probably not as popular if it hadn’t. The character development doesn’t automatically imply either character is gay or have attractions to one another.

That’s why I believe it’s probably not the best ship to be a part of. It’s not the healthiest relationship, and even now, they are best frenemies. In short, I just don’t see why two very different minors are being romantically and sexually shipped after several harsh years of bullying. Thanks for coming to my ted talk.

(also, try not to severely spam the comments. I’m going to disappear for a while like I usually do)

#Bakudeku hate #Mha #Hate

[stormy333]

One Story Billions Of Possibilities

April 7, 2003 countless stories began but this is about one story in particular that started that day.

The story of a girl who had faith enough to stop hurricanes and the stubbornness of a mule. The story of a girl growing not only growing up with age but maturing with wisdom. The story of a hopeless romantic who loved and loved with all she had. The story of falling from the high horse, having your heart ripped out and breaking someone else’s. The story not of all sunshine and rainbows for to get the rainbows you must first have rain. It’s the story of a never ending war with occasional peace if you know where to look; Life is a hailstorm go with it. I have been trying my darndest to go by that saying for over a year now, and actually kinda sorta starting to succeed with it. Every birthday is a milestone. Our lives are books. Every year of our lives is a different chapter, every month is like a subchapter and every week like a paragraph and every day is like a sentence all in our book of life.

I’ve been through many different subchapters since beginning chapter 16 of my life. They feel more like different years so much has happened. So um I’m going to tell you 17 things I’ve learned about myself in my latest chapter of life and 17 goals for this chapter of my life. So here goes.

17 things I’ve learned about myself and in general during my 16th chapter

1.               Be careful who you give your heart to

2.               Put your health whether mental or physical or both first

3.               It doesn’t matter what others think of you and your decisions in the end you are the one that has to live with yourself

4.               I love rum (Great if you plan on dating a pirate;)

5.               I really am A LOT stronger mentally and emotionally than I originally thought.

6.               The pain from a tattoo needle is similar to the pain from a needle when getting blood drawn (at least to me) and I enjoy it

7.               I’m obsessed with the moon

8.               My moon sign is Gemini

9.               I have a type and well just big oof on my part

10.           Just because you think you know someone, well it doesn’t mean you do

11.            I am actually pretty good at identifying vehichales (mostly trucks)

12.            I’m homesick for a state I haven’t been in in 7 years

13.            My fascination with cryptids and the paranormal has grown billions and continues to grow

14.            The passion I had for animals as a child has lead me to being an extremely proud mother of multiple special needs animals

15.            My worth is not defined by anyone or anything

16.            People come and go, but the ones that can walk through hell with you and dance in the flames well they are the real ones

17.            I am a Queen, do I want a king? Yes. Do I need one? No, no I don’t. I am tired of wasting time and energy on guys that aren’t right for me. Call me crazy, lock me down, say what you want… But I KNOW there is someone who I am meant to be with, and when the stars aline, fate matches up and destiny crosses our paths it won’t be a fairy tale but it will all be worth it.

17 Goals for this chapter

1.               To have my GED either completed or half completed

2.               To continue the process of eliminating toxicity from my life

3.               I want to get a job

4.               I want to travel more

5.               I’m going to get to know myself better, instead of dating others, I’m going to try a bit of self dating, pouring my heart and soul into myself instead of someone else, thats not to say I won’t help it’s just saying I need to help myself for a while.

6.               I’m going to find new hobbies, I actually have a few in mind

7.               To find who I am, I know who I was and I know who I want to be but who I am is still a question

8.               To keep up with my physical therapy and infusions better, I want to be more organized in life

9.               Learn to drive a standard

10.           Being more open about my thoughts

11.            Being more assertive

12.            Forgiving things and people

13.            Learning to love people as they are

14.            Being confident as myself

15.            Learn a language

16.            Branch out a bit more in my exploration of life

17.            Discover more things I love

It’s a new chapter.

Until next time Loves

[suzythelie]

I posted 6 times in 2022

That's 6 more posts than 2021!

6 posts created (100%)

0 posts reblogged (0%)

I tagged 5 of my posts in 2022

Only 17% of my posts had no tags

#abuse survivor - 3 posts

#complex ptsd - 3 posts

#bipolar 2 - 3 posts

#mental disorder - 3 posts

#mental health - 3 posts

#ptsd - 2 posts

#bipolar mania - 2 posts

#stranger things - 1 post

#mental illness - 1 post

#bipolar disorder - 1 post

Longest Tag: 16 characters

#bipolar disorder

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Recovering from narcissist abuse,and severe ptsd. Im bipolar and im just barely hanging on. Some days go by ok and some days I hide and cry all day. I scream on the inside so no one hears me, I smile because I dont want anyone to know how bad I feel. The sun doesn't shine on me and the darkness is not where I want to be. I never want anyone to know how bad I'm hurting, but sometimes its to much. I feel so lost and um looking for something anything that makes me feel better. I dont want sympathy, I dont want to blame anyone, I just want to be able to stand on my own two feet and feel worthy of life.

0 notes - Posted August 24, 2022

#4

Today I hate myself! I slept to long, I are the wrong food, im gaining weight when I need to lose. My head hurts from crying, my knees hurt from praying to God to help me find peace. I want to scream and throw something breakable. I want so much to be ok and stop feeling this way. How am I so old and still so stupid. Why do I always choose to care. I let him hurt me over and over so many times that when he left for good I just knew he would come back. I took steps to make sure he would never hurt me again. Steps that I knew he would not be able to accept, I didnt want him back. I was to scared that I would keep allowing him to hurt me until he went to far.i didn't know he was a narcissist for sure. The day he told me he was marring a girl half our age it was like he took all of the air out of my lungs and held his hand over my mouth so I couldn't get more. Now she is his victim and im living in a nightmare. Im scared of the whole world. I cant ever be with someone like him again but everyone I meet seems to be like that. So it must be me. So what do I do. I put on a smile and I pray to God above please don't let me fall in love today everyday. It would kill me.

1 note - Posted October 19, 2022

#3

I want to write a book and I need some help. I dont even know where to start actually.

1 note - Posted August 19, 2022

#2

I had never heard the word "narcissist " before and I really didn't know what it meant. About six months into my relationship with him my daughter said to me" mom he is a Narcissist and he will only hurt you" I kinda laughed it off and I didn't really think about it again. When he beat me up and threw me out of his car in the middle of nowhere in the pouring rain only to come back and get me 45 minutes later, my friend at work told me he was a "narcissist " but I still didn't know what that meant. In today's society everyone has a label label. Im bipolar and i have ptsd, so saying someone is a narcissist didn't really bother me. Fast forward about 4 years. He had completely taken over my life. He gave me my medication because he had if locked in a box so I couldn't get it or even see what hd was giving me. I couldn't see my children unless he was with me. I felt empty and alone, but a narcissist? Maybe? Was he a narcissist or was I for wanting to have things my way for a day or two. Was it his fault or mine for letting him say whatever, do whatever and still believe he loved me. Whose fault was it? I honestly didn't know!

4 notes - Posted December 3, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Being a survivor means getting past the pain and hurt to a point that you can help people who haven't made it to that point. Hope and faith brings a person closer to living happiness again and never looking back to what happened wanting to go back. Its help you push forward and start over weather you're alone or not. Being alone is not a bad thing sometimes it make you strong so that you can let the person who is supposed to be in you life walk in and show you what real is.

7 notes - Posted November 26, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

[frenchtoastie]

Not rlly a post to pay attention to, just being bitter I guess

#just reminded especially today #like it’s a weird dichotomy of being a very romantic/daydreamy person vs knowing it’s probably something I’m never going to get or have #I really don’t think I’m an easy person to love in a romantic sense I’m too difficult to deal with #I just don’t get taken seriously as anything more than a friend not to mention I have so many problems someone would have to deal with once #they get to know me better #like the first part of that definitely stems from me looking and having energy that is much younger than I actually am #people really do think I look 16 or 17 and many think my mental age is about the same #like my coworkers spent four months thinking I was that age #and people my age aren’t looking for someone who seems so young bc they are sensible #and then the people who do show interest are strikingly obvious that they are into the fact I seem much younger #someone gave me their number before right after they said they couldn’t believe I was as old as I am and thought I was much younger? #they told me I had childlike energy? #and so many people see me as ‘adorable and sweet’ and ‘can’t see me as anything more than a friend’ #and it’s so terrible to watch people not taking me seriously at all #I’m not an adult enough for most everyone #and then that doesn’t even touch on any of my other problems #besides the whole mental age thing people wouldn’t get over just the way my brain is anyway is probably so hard to love #the adhd autism is just not practical for any other person to deal with and the ups and downs of everything I don’t want to put #someone through like they shouldn’t have to put up with me at my lowest #no one would want me at my lowest anyway #and then my whole lack of experience I just daydream all the time but I don’t really know what anything is like #I would be a terrible partner to anyone because I don’t really know things I only think I know things from what I’ve read in books and seen #in movies and those aren’t real and I can’t have anything real #and it’s just today that reminds me that it’s not something I get to have and nothings ever going to come close to it #and that really I don’t deserve it either #and no one talk to me about it bc you’re not going to change my mind #and nothing you say is going to make any difference or make anything better

[takiarte]

LONG POST!

And sorry for the English mistakes. ▶Léelo en Español aquí◀

A lot of time has passed in my angry hiatus caused by the Tumblr purge. Imagine it was like that: you're starting to do more 3rotic art and counting with THIS site to share it, but from one day to another, BOOM, bye-bye the opportunity. I still feel so betrayed, and more because in 2019-2020 I started a whole project (called Ambrosia, you will see it). See, this fanart of mine represents it all 😂 Before my hiatus here, I was very active as a player and fanartist in Mystic Messenger fandom. Yes, I said "I was".

I consider it important to make all points clear about this, because I have so many already old fanarts to upload about Mystic Messenger, and that doesn't mean I'm still on it. I'm even waiting for a moment when I have the animus to continue a lot of unfinished pieces, but I simply lost my love. Yes, the worst thing that can happen to you 😫 I lost my love for Mystic Messenger and for my favorite character, Saeran. Although that doesn't mean I don't love the memories I created in that fandom, with the game when I enjoyed it, with the beautiful fan arts I saw and artists I meet, and doesn't mean he's not my favorite anymore. He is. This is not the fault of the fandom nor the character's... but CHERITZ's fault.

So you are gonna see me uploading a lot of old art.

Almost FOUR YEARS of old art. And a lot of it (until 2020) is MysticMessenger related. I want to have this post as a reply to the question "Are you going to continue making MM-related things?" And the truth is, no. I may continue unfinished old things (as Ambrosia WIPs waiting for me), or share old things I still don't share, but I doubt I make something new (outside of, for example, commissions).

So...

WHY I LOST MY LOVE for Mystic Messenger?

Here comes the truth. This is all related to Saeran After Ending, so, WARNING!

⚠ SPOILERS, SPOILERS EVERYWHERE ⚠

I'm gonna put a list of Twitter links with numbers that show my reaction when I just played it. The rest of the text is below ⬇

0, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18.

(Also, look at this wonderful fanart that also describes my feelings -and that artist also felt betrayed by that AE-)

And here come the 101 reasons why. Angriness advertence! 🤬

As a veteran fan, I think I'm not the only one that wanted the Saeran route to be about Unknown since the start. ANYWAY, I didn't dislike the Ray/Suit!Saeran scheme, but the existence of Another Story opens new plot holes (especially related to how much time Saeran has "hated" Saeyoung, when did V and Rika really "adopted" them (what's their age?), since when Rika started the Mint eye thing, etc). With Saeran AE, they had a BIG OPPORTUNITY of closing a lot of these plot holes. But they didn't.

One of the main reasons I was disappointed is the OOC attitude of the characters, SAERAN INCLUDED (OOC = out of character). I'm not the only fan that felt as if the Cheritz creative writers changed and were all ignoring the character's personalities.

MC is treated as if she is a goddess, she fixes everything (while she is doing NOTHING more than be present). She is praised so much it gave me cringe. I also disliked the reply options we had.

Saeran FORGIVING his father after he almost killed him, is something really, REALLY inconceivable for me. It was the most ridiculous and toxic thing. Are you saying to me that a character that was in mentally ill chaos 'cause of the hate, just goes and forgives one of the persons that ruined his life the most??? NO. PLZ, NO. Yeah, forgiving is a healthy thing to do, but, you are NOT obliged to forgive a person that ruined your life. Just a little research of real-life people psychology explains that clearly.

The psychological accuracy failed, definitely. Saeran had a little of PSTD scenes, but not enough. He was now all bright and "I love you".

Speaking of the "I love you", I felt cloyed. I started to feel as if all was mere fanservice, very empty of the power of that words. He started to say it too much it lost its grace.

Oh, "THE POWER OF LOVE CURES IT ALL". Sorry, but I hate they used that excuse to fix everything. It was a lame shortcut to sum up the plot.

MC is just useless. And what made me most angry is that we are MC. The responses were so... ugh.

Rika, RIKA. She came out unscathed of ALL WHAT SHE DID. And the twin's father too. And I CAN'T FORGIVE THAT. I wanted JUSTICE.

The abuse of the twins during all the days of the AfterEnding was excessive in my opinion. GOOD ENDING? That felt like A NIGHTMARE for me.

The reunion between Saeran and Saeyoung was really disappointing. I wanted a process for them, I wanted to see Saeran progressively forgiving Saeyoung. Learning the truth, processing it, and DECIDING. Not it all happening in the middle of chaos where they were almost ENSLAVED.

Saeran was reckless, it hadn't sense. Where did all his security go? Where did went all that he learned while escaping prison as Magenta? He is supposed to have his personality finally unified, so he has the Suit!Saeran side in him... then, why does he refuse to fight that much? Why did he saw not forgiving as such a BAD thing?

The entire AE is like very dangerous and toxic advice that sounds like "you have to forgive your family because it's your family, it doesn't matter if they ruined your life and attempted to ERASE YOU FROM EXISTENCE since your whole birth". Do you know how many people end up in therapy with anxiety and depression or worst things because of a dysfunctional family? The messages Cheritz sent with MM as a game were (in general) good... until this happened.

Cheritz repeated again the formula of "the counterpart of the route is the enemy" with the V attitude. Although, I never thought of V as a good person.

For real, the only, ONLY things I enjoyed of the AE are that they showed V's true nature (I started to despise him very much in AnotherStory... it was sad for Jumin) and Vanderwood being very cool.

The writing repeats again and again what happened until it gets boring.

I WAS HOPPING Cheritz would remedy what they did in Secret endings, where they put therapy as if it was THE WORST THING in the world for Saeran. I was HOPING to see Saeran (and also Saeyoung) taking therapy and having finally a mentally healthy life. BUT NO, LET'S FIX IT ALL WITH THE POWER OF LOVE WUJUUU

Well. I know I spoke so much more with a friend on Whatsapp but it's gonna be impossible to find all that, and I think I said the most important points already. IT'S A LOT and could be more, I’m sure.

Trying to make me think better of this AE it's a lost cause, don’t even try it. It's been a time, and the strength of my disappointment was big enough.

Hope you get the point of why I was taken to such an extreme. If you are capable of still enjoying MM with the Saeran AE and all, good for you. But for me, it’s not.

Since then, it was never the same again for me. But anyway, I still have good memories and that is not gonna change. And I have so much to share with you. Step by step reviving this blog!

#MysticMessenger #Why I left MM fandom #TakiArte #vent post #Saeran after ending #AnotherStory #saeran choi #after ending #annoucement #Mystic Messenger #MM #otome #mm saeran #Cheritz #Ambrosia #V #Saeran #Rika #707 #Yoosung #Jumin #tumblr purge #SuitSaeran #Unknown #spoilers

[runephoenix6769]

Why Netflix aging up the Characters could spell disaster.

Ok, so I’ve tried to find confirmation that this is true and kinda found bubkiss so far.  But.... Zuko being aged up by two years does not bode well his motivation or Azula (or Sokka for that matter), narratively speaking and will massively change how their stories/character arcs hit.  It’s my belief that by aging up the characters they’ll kinda lose some of the soul of the show AND the poignancy of just how much pressure has been laid on the shoulders of Gaang and Azula's trio. The nuance of Children fixing a world broken by adults. (I shall preface by saying that anyone under 18 is a child and therefore even joining the military at 16 is still awful, but this post is being written within the context of the avatar universe, its societal norms and customs.)

Hear me out.  Within the show, all the main cast of children are supposed to be outliers and exceptionally skilled, even surpassing many of the adults in that world in terms of mastery of their elements and ability to execute strategy.   At 16/17 Rangi had her first commission after graduating from the Junior Corps in record time, to eventually become one of the youngest Lieutenants in Fire Nation Army service, during peace time.  400 years later we are in the midst of a global war, meaning the goal posts within the various societies would have shifted considerably. (Apart from the Earth Kingdom, they seriously need to get with the times.) Zuko is the heir to the throne of an imperial expansionist country, where military service is expected of many of the aristocracy. (If not every citizen doing something towards the war effort.) And has been since the reign of Sozin.  Being the heir, he would naturally be expected to take a military commission at 16/17, as precedent has been shown to us via Rangi. This would serve to foster loyalty from his soldiers, train him in ways of command to prepare him for taking over the Nation, etc etc.  Lets say that Netflix keep the rest of his story the same, so he is still ousted at 13 sent on a mission of folly as a cruel punishment. Well that just casts his 4 years at sea and his behaviour towards his men in an awful light. In four years he has not learned regard for the safety of his men? It makes the treatment of his men look callous instead of being a child who doesn't quite grasp how much his crew do for him, that they too have been ousted and separated from their loved ones! Four years of shite treatment would surely land a mutiny on his hands?  If anything, it serves to make him look whiny, and incompetently oblivious to the needs of others.  And what does it mean if they move the timeline of the Agni Kai up by two years, to 15?  It doesn't have quite the same impact. Remember what sits at the core of this show. It is ultimately about children trying the fix the world that the adults broke, violence, cruelty, child soldiers and the effects of war upon them, under intense pressure to succeed.  Zuko is supposed to be a child who hasn’t even begun to figure out what he wants.   His character arc in the show is supposed to be that journey!

Which brings me to Azula!  A child prodigy, who took down Ba Sing Se in a relatively bloodless coup at 14! Its meant to be an awe inspiring Herculean feat! A top notch military strategist, she is meant to be unmatched by any of her peers.  Her age in the OG show certainly explains her behavior, her not being developed enough in many ways. This contributes towards the deterioration of her mental health when she cannot reconcile the heavily cultivated sense of self with the reality culminating in the tragic and heart wrenching mental breakdown at 14! At 16/17, it makes it look like a huge ass hissy fit! OG Azula’s inflection moment begins in The Beach episode. She is begins to ask questions of herself in the form of small experiments. It takes the form of her hiding their identities on Ember Island.  It is as if she is trying to feel out if she is as witty and charming as she believes, but she comes to learn that she is woefully socially inept, people don’t like her for her, beginning the spiral of insecurity and self doubt. We are also told that Azula’s mother thought her a monster and she is massively hurt by that, though she plays it off as nothing.  This insecurity is blown wide open on the Boiling Rock cemented by Ty Lee’s betrayal and culminates in Azula, who is truly terrified that he might burn her in a way similar to Zuko, seeing her being sidelined by Ozai.  She takes as a form of punishment for her ‘failure’, a form of banishment, that she has been discarded like Zuko, when she had imagined being by her father’s side as they burned the world in celebration of their mutual victory rather than for what is truly is which is Ozai being a glory hog and reaping all the benefits from Azula’s hard work.  Which brings me to the suggestion by Azula to burn the world in the first place. A child suggesting that you ‘Burn the World’ smacks a whole lot differently when you think of it as a kid not quite grasping/understanding the ramifications of such a suggestion, but a 16 year old? Such a thing tips her from confused mentally unwell child with a crippling fear of failure raised without a lick of compassion to full blown villainy with nothing remotely sympathetic about her! The way the last Agni Kai is framed you are supposed to feel sympathetic towards her! Which makes me wonder if they are gonna paint Azula as unhinged straight from the get go? Her unravelling at the seams is supposed to be her journey!

Sokka.... at 17!  In the OG show, Hakoda does the right thing by telling Sokka to remain behind to look after the village because at 13 he is too young to go to war.  Why leave him behind at 15? Would that not serve to feed into feelings of inadequacy, that he was deemed too weak to leave and fight with the other men and boys of the tribe?  Now, I would argue that Sokka’s OG arc rivals Zuko’s redemption. He does feel inadequate and overcomes it. He also unlearns a shit load of misogyny! What 17 year old doesn’t take responsibility for his own clothes, in a tribe were adults are few and far between? What 17 year old expects his little sister to be his mother and bear the brunt of the domestic? How obtuse and unfeeling would that make Sokka? It would propel him to the side of boorish, lazy and entitled rather than the sweet teenage boy who grows to realise he has a lot to learn.  OG Sokka is humble as hell and not afraid admit when he is lacking! He will go and openly admit his flaws and learn from others who he had previously written off.  Suki gives him a glass of respect women juice and he keeps on chugging, only adding to the Sokka we know and love.  This is supposed to be his journey! 

OG Sokka is just as much of a genius as Azula!  They are both supposed to be exceptional. Having them sit at 16/17 figuring this all out within a war torn world were it would be totally normal for them to participate in the generational war machine kind of robs them of this. Their more child like behaviours, grappling with concepts and truly understanding their consequences is supposed to remind us that they are children, being asked to do something no child ever should! Aging them up casts these things in a whole other light, skewering the what makes this show so beloved!  If you change the core characters to the point their journey’s don’t make sense within the world they inhabit, or they become unrecognisable to the audience you’re trying to milk then really.....what’s the point?  

#avatar last airbender #atlab #atla #avatar the last airbender #prince zuko #princess azula #sokka #zuko #azula #rangi #rise of kyoshi

[fairytalesofthewind]

Can I request The Avengers with winged!male!reader, who is a new member of their team? Reader is a ball of joy and love, he's like everyone's kid, until he gets snatched by Hydra agents and later is found with one of his wings cut off, leaving a permanent and ugly scar on his back. After that he shuts down completely, lays in his bed all day long and doesn't talk to anyone : he became a wreck of the person he used to be.

I really would like to see The Avengers helping him cope and Tony coming up with some crazy idea, which lead to Reader receiving a prosthetic wing and once again becoming an official member of The Avengers.

Anon, you are a true genius!

warnings: hydra (so also torture, a bit of gore, and kidnapping)

+ implied Stucky 

I called the male reader Icarus, you’ll find out why ;) I may be a little bit too obsessed by mythology. Sorry that I didn’t write with ‘you’. 

wordcount: 2424

Requests are open!

Icarus was found by shield at age 15. He had been an experiment of hydra for 3 years. He remembered the day the Avengers had infiltrated the facility where the majority of hydra worked. He remembered hearing the explosions and screams while he was trapped in the many cells of the building’s basement. The only occupied cell what that of his.

He had felt his surroundings shaking, had felt the dust falling on him as the building was ready to collapse. And then the bombs stopped getting fired. The screams had stopped. Icarus had thought the fight had completely stopped and that the people were either dead or that the people had fled. Icarus had thought no one was coming for him, and that he was trapped in his cell, no way to escape.

But then he had heard a single loud bang. It came from the door leading to the basement. He saw that the metal door had an imprint of a fist in it. Then he heard another loud bang, and saw how the imprint expanded. After a few more hits, the door gave away and fell to the floor.

A man with a metal came walking up to him. Icarus knew who he was, emphasis on was. Because the man ushering towards him wasn’t the Winter Soldier anymore. That was what the agents had told him.

“Hey kid. Hang on in there, we’ll get you out as soon as possible.” He said and came closer and inspected the outside of his cell. More specifically, the keypad in front of it. “Hey Stark, I’m gonna need your help here with some tech.” Bucky came even closer to his cell and Icarus’ eyes widen as his hands neared the glass.

“Stop!” Icarus yelled. Bucky froze at the command, and dragged his eyes up slowly to the panicked boy in front of him. “You can’t touch the glass.” Icarus warned him, his tone a bit softer. “It’ll trigger the alarms and then gas will come out of the ceiling.” Bucky frowned looked up at the top of the cell. In each corner was a camera, along with a small metal tube coming out of the walls. He supposed that the gas would come out of there.

“Is the gas deadly?” He asked the boy, there were probably going to trigger the alarms trying to get him out. But they would have to find another way if the gas is really dangerous.

“No,” Icarus started, “it just makes me go to sleep.” Bucky nodded as stepped away from the glass container. They would have to wait for a few minutes until help – the help being Tony- arrived.

“So…” The boy drawled out, “Are you really a 100 years old?” He wanted to look at Icarus with a ‘are you serious’- look but as he saw the curiosity written on his face, he responded a soft smile.

“I’m 106 years old.” He felt a pang of amusement as he watched Icarus’ eyes widen.

“Isn’t that a bit weird?” Bucky tilted his head, silently asked the boy what he meant by that. “You know…with friends, and lovers. You’re much older than them.”

Suddenly Stark entered the basement and said: “Well, Bucky doesn’t have any problem with that seeing as his boyfriend is also a super soldier and also very old.” He strutted over to the keypad on his cell. Icarus stared at him with wide eyes because – oh my God this is The Tony Stark.

“Friday baby, tell me how to get the angel out.” He said. Icarus blushed a bit, most of the agents didn’t call him an angel because of his wings. But rather demon. He didn’t which one fit the best seeing as he had neither white wings, nor black, but brown wings.

Tony was quiet for a few long seconds. He looked concentrated, not that they could see his face through the helmet, but his head was tilted just a bit. He let out a loud drawn-out sigh and said: “Yeah, no can do, that’s going to take hours. I’m just gonna blast it.”

Icarus straightened up immediately, if he were to do that he would just trigger the alarms. It wouldn’t do much to the glass either, because it was made of something special. Before Icarus could let out a warning, he heard the zooming of Iron Man’s blasters and then he heard a small explosion.

The boy made eye contact with Bucky after he saw gas coming out of the metal tubes. Just before he slipped into unconsciousness, he picked up the curse words both of the men let out.

Only a few hours later did Icarus wake up. It was very quiet around him, but there was also an unfamiliar sound that he didn’t recognise that made him realise that he wasn’t in his cell anymore. Did the agents change their mind on waiting a few more months to send him on a mission? Did they suddenly decide to get rid of him? Did they-

“Ah, you’re waking up.” The voice was so much more gentle than he was used hearing. It reminded him of how his family used to talk to him.

They were dead now, by the way, with courtesy of hydra.

Icarus opened his eyes and looked to his right where the voice had come from. He recognised the man, he was the Falcon. Sam was still wearing his suit, with his metal wings. Icarus eyes fell to the said wings and frowned.

“You know, you guys are in big trouble.” The people around him straightened up. Already thinking of the possible things the boy could say. There was something you didn’t think about, this was just a distraction and now the shield base has been taken care of properly. You lost-

“These are copyrighted.” Icarus pointed to his own wings. “I could sue you for plagiarism.” Sam lowered his head in relief as he let out a little chuckle.

“I’ll pass it on to the boss.” He said as he looked to the other side of Icarus. The boy followed the line of sight and saw Tony sitting on the other side of him. He was immediately attacked with concerned questions about how he was feeling. Tony told him that they were going to bring Icarus somewhere safe, there were going to give him a home. But all Icarus could think about was, oh my God, this is The Tony Stark.

Icarus was 16 when he started his training. He was done basically living in the hospital wing of the tower. Apparently hydra had really taken a toll on him. Physically and mentally.

He had begged the captain to train him. But Steve had refused time and time again claiming that Icarus wasn’t ready yet.

Between recovery and asking for training, he became friends with Sam. Well, he became friends with everyone. You could even say that he became their family. But it happened with Sam the fastest. Sam took care of him from the start. He visited Icarus every day to check up on him. He helped the boy get comfortable. Icarus saw Sam as a…dad?

They would fly together almost every night. They would soar over countless buildings in New-York. They would stop on skyscrapers and talk about everything and nothing. Sam became his best friend, he became his family.

Icarus was 17 when he realised how much the Avengers truly cared about him. It was his first mission, and the Avengers were acting like overbearing mother hens. It wasn’t even a big mission, it was just to pick something up and bring it from place A to B. But due an unexpected rainstorm Icarus couldn’t fly back. He arrived hours later than he should’ve had at the meeting point.

And to say he had received an ear full about it was an understatement. For the next few days after that mission, he had heard one rant to the other. It was all the same: about how he was precious, about how bad it would be to lose him because he was their family. He was their ray of sun- no scratch that- he was their sun. He was their kid.

Icarus was 18 years and 2 months old when one of his mission went seriously wrong. Sam wasn’t there to support him in the sky. And Tony was needed on the ground. But as multiple planes left to escape, he had to go after them. There weren’t only hydra agents on those plane, but also innocent hostages. Hostages that would probably get used for the same purpose Icarus had been used for.

So he couldn’t just let the planes go. He went after the plane of which he thought was filled with hostages, but was only filled with agents. He had entered the plane just before it’s backdoor had closed. He realised his mistake as he was suddenly surrounded by a dozen men with guns.

One of the men closest to him raised his gun towards him and shot. Icarus felt a sharp prick on his neck and he already knew what was going to happen. Just before he slipped into unconsciousness, he picked up the curse words his family let out on the comms.

Icarus was 18 when he was recaptured by hydra.

Hydra had claimed they had no use for him. They already had a better reproduction of him.

But that didn’t mean that we are just going to get rid of you, no stupid demon boy. We are going to have a bit of fun with you.

Icarus was 18 years and 5 months when he lost one of the most important things of his life.

He lost of one his wings. That means that he not only lost one of his limbs, but he also lost being able to fly.

He wouldn’t be able to do the thing he loved the most, he wouldn’t be able to fly anymore.

Icarus was 18 years and 8 months old when the Avengers had to save him again from hydra. But the boy they saved wasn’t the Icarus that had been captured. He was missing something –besides from the obvious; his wing.  

From the moment Icarus had returned home, everything went just a bit worse day by day. He was unhappy, of course he was. Not only had he lost his wing, but he also had a very large scar where it used to be.

He felt terrible. He would spend almost every hour buried under the safety of his blankets in his bed. He didn’t leave his room, no matter how much his family tried to get him out.

One day Bucky entered his room, he brought some tea and breakfast with him. “Good morning, little angel…” The rest he said fell on deaf ears. Icarus had buried himself under his blankets himself.

A few seconds later felt the cold rushing over him. The bed dipped beside him, Bucky sat on the blanket so that Icarus couldn’t use them to hide anymore. But it didn’t really help much as the boy just turned his back to him, his one wing currently hiding himself.

Bucky cleared his throat. “Look, I know how much this sucks. I lost my arm, I know how it feels.” Suddenly Icarus had sat up, and was now looking at him with an angry face.

“You think you know how I feel?!” Icarus pushed him off the bed. They were now both standing with Icarus pointing a furious finger at him. “You just lost your fucking arm! I didn’t just lose my wing, no I lost the thing I loved the most! I can’t fly anymore, and you know whose fault is that?” Icarus kept walking closer and Bucky kept stepping further away from the boy.

“It’s my fault! I was overtaken by my giddiness of the mission and I got distracted, I was too overconfident.” Bucky was almost in the hallway with the way he kept backing up.

“And besides, James. You got a metal arm in return. You can still do everything!” Unlike Bucky, Icarus didn’t have another wing.

And that, had given Bucky an idea.

Icarus was 18 years and 11 months when Tony had dragged him out of his wing towards his lab. He didn’t give him any choice to struggle back, he was coming whether he wanted to or not.

Tony had covered his eyes just before they entered the lab. He had made him sit on a stool. He heard a few nervous coughs, so he knew that the other were there as well.

Tony granted his sight back after a few seconds of rambling something that Icarus was too tired to listen to.

“-and we hope you will like this…”

In front of him, on a stand, was a metal wing. It was a similar size of his own. He had thought: what is the point of a monument? But then Icarus realised that what he was seeing wasn’t just a metal wing, it was also a suit. He felt a few tears roll down his cheek and immediately afterwards felt someone’s arms going around him.

“Oh, it’s alright, angel. It’s going to be alright.” They let him cry his heart out, patiently being there for him.

It was a few days later that Icarus sat in the craftsman’s lab again. Tony was securing the many straps on his new suit. He explained him the rules of the new suit, of what it could and couldn’t do. “Now, Sam will help you fly again. He knows how the metal wing work. My advice for now is to not fly too low, or too high. You don’t want to hurt yourself.”

Icarus was 19 when he was given back the thing he loved most; being able to fly. He was able to be happy again. He picked up the nightly flights with Sam again. Sometimes staying away from the Tower until 5AM. He was almost back to his normal self; he was already back to being the most energetic member of the team, and he showed how grateful he was almost every second of the day.

This night he was sitting on a building with Sam eating his pepperoni pizza.

“You know, you’re in trouble, right?” Icarus looked up at Sam with raised eyebrows.

“These are copyrighted, and you know, I could sue you.” Sam pointed at his metal wings with a small smirk.

“Copyrighted my ass, you can’t beat the original.”

#marvel #marvel x male reader #stucky #angst with a happy ending #greek mythology #the avengers #avengers x reader #male headcanons #male reader #tony stark #bucky barnes

[sakura-83]

Things from Anne with an e that I feel like writing down

Season 1 Episode 6: Remorse Is the Poison of Life

1. Diana having to run through the dark with nothing but a lantern and quite reasonably tripping. I never really thought about how dark it would actually be out because there’s always light.., somewhere in a modern city. It’s dark but you can usually still see

2. Every time Anne and Diana are separated they end up reunited during some great tragedy and are like “I missed you so much!!” Like yeah that’s great but. Please focus

3. It’s terrifying how easily children could die before modern medicine. They still can die very easily and that’s still terrifying but back then there was no quick fixes or easily accessible help

4. “It’s an old wives tale.” “I might be one but not the other. Evidently one doesn’t have to be either thing to know it.”

5. Anne knowing how to treat croup because all of Mrs. Hammond’s sets of twins had it

6. “I was supposed to be a boy but when I wasn’t, they decided to keep and raise me.” “How extraordinary!”

7. Minnie May almost choking to death on her own phlegm and Anne ultimately saving her because there’s no way the doctor would’ve made it all the way from Soencervale in time

8. “I believe I need a brandy.”

9. It’s really interesting how much of the script comes straight from the book

10. “I’m so glad I live in a world where there are white frosts, aren’t you?”

11. John Blythe’s love for adventure and how Gilbert undoubtedly sees it in Anne

12. Eliza apologizing for how she misjudged Anne

13. “My darling Diana”

14. “I can’t tie myself down to anything so unromantic as dishes at this thrilling moment!”

15. “Even aunt Josephine said she’d like to see you again, and she doesn’t like anyone.”

16. “Shes disinclined to stay home alone since her companion passed away.” “Her companion?” “Her best friend forever and ever.”

17. “Aunt Josephine never married. Neither of them did, they lived with each other their whole lives.” “I’d live with you forever if I could. But I know you’ll leave me the date you get married to some wealthy and handsome gentleman. I hate him already.” “How’s Gilbert?”

18. “It’s very likely Gilbert’s father isn’t going to get well, so it’s more than possible that when Gilbert finally comes back to school… he’ll be an orphan.”

19. The cut from that conversation to John Blythe’s funeral

20. Matthew grabbing Marilla’s arm because he knows how much john meant to her

21. Gilbert watching the snowflakes melt in his hand

22. Marilla’s flashback

23. Young Marilla teasing john

24. Him giving her the same hair ribbon she later gifts to Anne

25. Anne and Gilbert being just like their parents, mirroring their romance and yet achieving the love Marilla and John could never have

26. Anne trying to make Gilbert feel better but making it seem like it’s about her. I often find it hard to articulate my relation to others in a way that does sound like I’m relating and not like I’m making it about me

27. Aunt Josephine on a stroll in the woods

28. Anne’s ranting about her “extensive knowledge of being an orphan”

29. Her calling Gilbert a dumb boy and refusing to think about him

30. “Romance is a pesky business. No sense to be made of it.”

31. “May I enter your humble abode.” About Anne’s run down little shed

32. “I couldn’t be less interested in Gil- that boy!”

33. “Let your ambitions and your aspirations be your guide.” “But I have so many!”

34. “I’ve always wanted to be a bride, but I don’t really expect to be a wife.” “Interesting!” “So you see the conundrum.” “I do. I have the following thoughts to offer. First, you can get married any time in your life, if you choose to do so.” “That’s true-“ “And two, if you choose a career, you can buy a white dress yourself, have it made to order and wear it whenever you want.” “Why didn’t I think of that!? I love that idea! I’m going to be my own woman!” “I’m a proponent for making ones own way in the world.”

35. “If you become a doctor, perhaps you can discover a cure for old age.”

36. Anne calling aunt Josephine her new role model, as well as Marilla and Matthew

37. “I’m going to be the heroine of my own story.”

38. Marilla finding an old letter from John

39. The theme Unrequited Love playing during this scene

40. It’s fascinating when you come to recognize the instrumentals by name, the names actually have a lot of double meanings in relation to the show. Fire in The Town not only plays when there’s an actual fire, but also when Anne’s rumors about prissy set the town ablaze

41. “If the key to a mans heart is through his stomach-“ “Which it is!” “Then, we have to make sure that this is the best shepherds pie that Gilbert has ever had.”

42. Anne wanting a boy to loved for her brain and personality rather than her abilities to keep a home

43. “Don’t you think Gilbert looks even more handsome now that he’s sad?” “I didn’t notice.”

44. I just noticed aunt Josephines mourning clothes, I know she was grieving but I didn’t put two and two together

45. “Take the boy the godforsaken pie before I suffer a mental collapse.”

46. Anne rambling excitedly about Jane Eyre.

47. Anne almost spoiling the book, just like Gertrude used to do

48. Anne suddenly breaking down over death. I’ve done that before, far more frequently in middle school when I realized that we all die someday

49. “It must be awful beyond measure to lose someone that you love deeply. In a split second, a heartbeat, they’re gone forever… and there is nothing you can do to change it or bring them back…”

50. “Anne? You’re crying on the potatoes.”

51. “There’s nothing wrong with saying ‘I’m sorry for your loss’, Ruby. And I’m going to say it because I am.” “You’re just going to make it worse if you say that. His father!! Just died!!!” “That’s what people say when someone dies.” “I don’t want you to upset him.” “He’s already upset because his father just died!”

52. “We hope you like shepherds pie.” “Everyone LIKES shepherds pie 😡. We hope it’s a comfort to you, Gilbert.🥰”

53. Anne telling “but I would make a terrible wife!” And running out.

54. Matthew offering to help Gilbert get his farm back in order

55. Gilbert not wanting to be a farmer but having an entire farm shoved off on him when his only family does, despite being… 14 at most? 15 maybe?

56. Matthew losing all his crops when the Dal Marie sank

57. Billy wanting Gilbert back to control the “ugly orphan” and Gilbert defending Anne

58. “She’s smart, deal with it.”

59. Gilbert telling billy to read a book for once

60. “I’ll give you a tip, okay? I’m not your bud. And if you ever hassle Anne again, you’ll regret it.”

61. “What’s your problem?” “Ask me that again. No, seriously. Go ahead.” “Why you gotta be like that?” “Ask me!” “…what’s your problem?”

62. Gilbert throwing his stuff at billy to preoccupy his hands and THEN punching him straight in his stupid face

63. The boys are fighting!!!! And rolling around in the snow too that’s kind of funny looking

64. Gilbert beating billy in that fight

65. Marilla telling Gilbert about his father

66. All of Gilbert’s siblings died

67. Gilbert’s father taking him to Alberta before he died, where Gilbert was born

68. “You resemble him in many ways.”

69. “He asked you to go?” I’ll always be grateful to him for thinking I’d be brave enough. Obligation… can be a prison.”

70. Anne trying to write a letter to Gilbert apologizing for what she said

71. Anne visiting aunt Josephine for advice and accidentally interrupting her grieving

72. “Emotion is rarely convenient and often intolerable, but I find at the moment that I don’t mind it.”

73. “Grief is the price you pay for live, you see. So it’s alright.”

74. “You and I are not the marrying kind.” “Ah, but I was, in my way. And we had a full and wonderful life together, and I gave no regrets. That’s all you really have to decide Anne, to live a life without regrets.”

75. Anne kissing aunt Josephine on the cheek and running off to live said life

76. No Matthew don’t make that loan deal!!!

77. Anne sprinting to Gilbert’s house bit for the first time of many to come, being too late to reach him.

#anne with an e #renew awae #awae #anne shirley cuthbert #gilbert blythe #josephine barry #marilla cuthbert #mathew cuthbert #diana barry