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#perfect example that i wish to use more often in my writing of him
pinchofhoney · 6 months
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broken promises, part one
part one | part two | part three »
coriolanus snow x fem!reader
word count: 1.8k
warning: none
summary: In Snow's world, only one thing mattered more than his family's reputation—you. But that was before he met Lucy Gray.
a/n: coryo is the type of person i sincerely hate and i'm glad that there are no such arrogant people in my life, who think they are better than others and who in crisis situations only care about themselves and to save their own arse. but at the same time i'm aware that young snow could be someone i'd catch a crush on at school. so why shouldn't i hate him even more?
pages that may interest you: masterlist ♡ taglist ♡ who i write for
taglist: you told me to tag you everywhere, so i'm back to doing it again; @wolfmoonmusic
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gif is not mine, credit to the owner
The problem with snow is its tendency to melt, mirroring the way we once thought our feelings would endure forever. Yet, shouldn't emotions, particularly those nestled in our hearts, last longer?
You had known Coriolanus since childhood, and your families had always been close. You had grown up together, surviving the hardships of the war-torn Capitol side by side, and now, in the post-war era, you were still inseparable. There was an unspoken understanding between the two of you going above a simple friendship. Your connection ran deep, like the roots of the oldest trees in the Panem's forests.
Coriolanus was an intriguing character, a puzzle you had been solving together since you were children. He was the embodiment of Capitol charm, with his perfectly tailored suits, polished manners, and charismatic smile that could sway even the most skeptical of Capitol elites. But you knew that beneath that carefully constructed facade was a mind as sharp as a blade and a heart that carried the weight of his family's fallen reputation.
Yet, when he was with you, it was as if a different side of him emerged. The hard lines on his face softened, and his icy demeanor melted away. With you, he could be himself, unburdened by the expectations of Capitol society. It was a rare glimpse into the man behind the mask, and you cherished those moments even more than your favorite jasmine tea and the cat you found shortly after the war had ended.
You couldn't help but admire his intelligence, his quick wit, and his relentless determination to succeed in a world that often seemed stacked against him. His family's name might have been tarnished, but Coriolanus was determined to reclaim their lost glory. He was driven by a burning ambition that flickered like an eternal flame, and you were his unwavering support, the one who fanned that flame to keep it burning bright.
In your eyes, he was more than the sum of his flaws and ambitions. He was the boy you had shared secrets with under moonlit skies, the man who had held you when the world crumbled around you, and the person who knew you better than anyone else. With him, you felt safe, cherished, and loved in a way that no one else could replicate.
Your love for him was boundless, and you were content in the knowledge that you were his confidante, the one person he could be truly vulnerable with. Your relationship with Coriolanus was the envy of many in academy, a seemingly perfect match of two souls intertwined by fate and affection. You were the golden couple, a shining example of love and devotion in a world that often lacked both.
But you wished you had known sooner that it's often the things we love most that destroy us, as Coriolanus Snow's world was about to collide with that of a girl named Lucy Gray and you were not ready for it to happen.
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As the day of the tribute's arrival approached, you had been by Coriolanus's side more than ever. The weeks leading up to this moment had been filled with your unwavering support. You had reassured him countless times, sitting together in your cozy bedroom, his head resting gently on your thighs while you combed your fingers through his soft blonde curls. It was a calming gesture, one that had become a comforting routine. You listened to his concerns, his fears, and his ambitions, and you were sure that everything would be fine, that he would be just perfect as a mentor, and that his scholarship and dreams of continuing his studies at the university were within reach.
Your words were like a soothing melody to him, a reminder that he wasn't alone in this daunting new role. He would look into your eyes with his cold ones, filled with gratitude, and you could see the weight lifting from his shoulders, if only temporarily. And in those moments, you felt like his anchor, the one who kept him grounded amid the chaos of his own thoughts.
Now, you both stood at the nearly deserted train station, the oppressive heat of the day hanging heavily in the air. The scorching sun beat down relentlessly, casting shimmering waves of heat across the empty platform. It seemed that most of the Capitol's citizens had chosen to stay indoors, seeking refuge from the sweltering weather.
The only other souls present were a handful of stoic peacekeepers, their pristine white uniforms stark against the dull backdrop of the station. The silence was broken only by the distant hum of the city beyond, a reminder of the bustling Capitol life that lay just outside the station's borders.
Coriolanus tightly held a single white rose plucked from his grandmother's garden, a symbol of his intent to make a lasting impression on his tribute. It was a stark contrast to the vibrant colors of your academy uniforms. The simplicity of the white rose spoke of his sincerity and dedication to this new role as mentor.
With no clear timetable for the tribute train's arrival, the two of you stood patiently, pretending that the day's weather didn't bother you, the weight of uncertainty hanging over you like a heavy cloud. Coriolanus shifted his gaze between the tracks and the single white bloom in his hand.
You observed him closely, and when his gaze finally met yours, you offered a reassuring smile. “Remember, Coryo,” you murmured, “no matter what, you'll be the mentor she needs; your sincerity and kindness will shine through.”
“I hope you're right, Y/N,” he replied softly, his voice filled with a hint of doubt. “I need her to survive on the arena as long as she can,” he added, as if the idea of a group of vulnerable youths engaging in brutal competition in just a few days were the most ordinary occurrence in the world.
But that was precisely what it represented for the Capitol residents – the Hunger Games, an annual spectacle of entertainment.
Time seemed to stretch endlessly under the unrelenting sun, and the station remained eerily devoid of any signs of life. It felt as though hours had passed, but in truth, you couldn't be sure. Beads of perspiration formed on your brows, and you could feel the heat radiating from the platform's surface.
You and Coriolanus were on the verge of giving up and returning to the cool embrace of your penthouses when, at long last, the distant rumble of an oncoming train reached your ears. The sound grew steadily louder, and you looked at each other, exchanging tired glances.
Coriolanus's grip on the white rose tightened as he turned his gaze towards the approaching train. As he rose from the bench where you had sat, his anticipation peaked. You stood beside him, wanting to be his support, but you had no idea that your role was about to change very soon.
The train pulled into the station with a hiss of steam and the screech of brakes, billowing clouds of moisture and smoke into the scorching air. The two of you watched the machine in silent, your heart pounding in your chest. This was the moment when you would come face to face with people from the Districts, individuals whose lives were so far removed from the opulence and extravagance of your own. It was a rare and humbling experience, one that left you with a slight quiver in your step as you clung to Coriolanus, seeking solace in his reassuring presence.
For what felt like an eternity, nothing happened. The train's doors remained sealed shut, as if holding its cargo of tributes in a reluctant embrace. The only thing that reached you was an unpleasant stench wafting from the carriages, a stark reminder of the grim reality that these young souls were about to face.
Finally the impatient peacekeepers took matters into their own hands. They descended upon the train, their authoritative presence enough to scare the tributes out of their temporary sanctuary. One by one, they were herded onto the platform, their expressions ranging from fear to defiance.
And then, your eyes locked onto a figure unlike the others. A girl stood there, her presence a stark contrast to the muted palettes of others tributes. She wore a rainbow-colored dress that shimmered with vibrancy, a flare of color and individuality amidst the sea of old attire. You recognized her immediately from the television screens, a girl whose name had already become a part of your daily life even before this encounter.
Lucy Gray Baird.
The very name whispered in the hushed tones of Capitol citizens as they watched her on the screens, intrigued and fascinated by her enigmatic presence from the Reaping. Her gaze swept across the platform, and for a brief moment, your eyes locked onto each other's.
You couldn't help but break into a warm, welcoming smile. With a cheerful wave of your hand, you signaled to her that both you and Coriolanus were eagerly awaiting her arrival, hoping to ease the initial tension of this life-altering moment.
Lucy Gray's response was a hesitant yet appreciative smile in return. Her steps were slow and cautious as she walked slowly toward you, a palpable sense of curiosity radiated from her, her eyes flitting between the unfamiliar faces that lined the platform.
Your gaze briefly shifted to Coriolanus, a subtle expectation in your heart that his eyes would mirror the warmth you felt. But when you looked at him, you noticed something different. It was as if his eyes were magnetically drawn to Lucy Gray, locked onto her with a nearly unwavering intensity that bordered on fixation. Those eyes, usually so sharp and calculating, now held an expression you had never quite seen before. It was as though he had stumbled upon a priceless museum exhibit, left captivated, awestruck, and undeniably intrigued.
A soft, knowing smile played at the corners of your lips, silently acknowledging his reaction to the girl before you. You gently squeezed his hand, a gesture of affection and solidarity. You understood that this moment bore immense significance for him, that he was on the corner of a journey filled with unforeseen challenges. Lucy Gray was the keynote of this new chapter in his life, and you couldn't help but admire her from a distance, captivated by her unique presence and the aura that surrounded her.
Before you could utter a word, Coriolanus took a determined step forward, his eyes still locked on the girl. He extended his hand, offering her the pristine white rose he had clutched throughout the wait and with a subtle nod, he greeted her in a tone that resonated with formality and welcome.
“Welcome to the Capitol.”
part two »
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angelshadowsinger · 11 months
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oh my fucking god your work is incredible! holy literal shit balls i have never felt that entranced by a fanfiction until reading yours. thank u thank u thank u your azriel is PERFECT.
also i’m totally gonna need your thoughts on azriel sharing with his shadows 👀
re: ummmmmmm call me parmesan bc u got me CHEESIN!?!?!! that is literally sO sweet of you to say, i am touched 🥺 as a fic author you always worry if you’re making the character OOC and, it just makes me so happy to hear your praise!! thank you so much anon~ ♥︎ This HC is a bit more than what you’ve asked for, but it does includes it, so pls enjoy!
Azriel’s Shadows Around his Mate Headcanons
・ ゜゜・.。 ・ ゜゜・.。・゚゚・.。 ・ ゜゜・.。・゚゚・
ɴᴏᴛɪᴄᴇ: ʙʏ ʀᴇᴀᴅɪɴɢ ᴛʜɪꜱ ᴡᴏʀᴋ ʏᴏᴜ ᴄᴇʀᴛɪꜰʏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴀʀᴇ ᴏᴠᴇʀ 18 ᴀɴᴅ ɴᴏᴛ ᴀ ᴍɪɴᴏʀ. ᴄᴏɴᴛᴇɴᴛ ʙᴇʏᴏɴᴅ ᴛʜɪꜱ ᴘᴏɪɴᴛ ᴍᴀʏ ᴄᴏɴᴛᴀɪɴ ɴꜱꜰᴡ ᴛʜᴇᴍᴇꜱ. ʀᴇᴀᴅ ᴀᴛ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴏᴡɴ ᴅɪꜱᴄʀᴇᴛɪᴏɴ.
・ ゜゜・.。 ・ ゜゜・.。・゚゚・.。 ・ ゜゜・.。・゚゚・
In my eyes, Azriel’s shadows are a part of him. There hasn’t been much insight that Maas has given us with shadowsingers and their capabilities in general, but this is what I choose to believe~
Since Azriel’s shadows were perhaps the first of his powers, and the first entity to treat him with some kindness/obedience, I think he would be very in tune with them and he himself would consider them a part of him. He has had over 500 years to develop his relationship with them and therefore, I believe once he found his mate, his shadows would be just as captivated with her as he himself.
Obviously, Azriel is a total simp for his girl (but that’s another hc in its own), so that means his shadows are too. Honestly, it could be viewed as annoying how often at least a few of his shadows are constantly at your side. He’s used to having them totally loyal to him, so now that he has to share them with you… well, it’s not really actually that cumbersome, because he knows that even when you two are apart, he’ll be sure to know if you need him/his help. Though he has a couple less to send out on his spymaster business, technically, the ones with you are acting as his spies anyway. Just, with a far more interesting and important subject.
His shadows do a variety of things for you, making your everyday life easier and more pleasant. Just as their master, the shadows like to give you princess treatment.
For example, they go out of their way to help you with mundane things. If you’re making dinner and a tomato rolls off the cutting board, they’re pushing it back to you. When you’re putting on a dress, they’re helping you with the zip and clasp. If you’re writing something and your pen runs out of ink, somehow they’ve procured a new one that matches your exact preferences.
Both Az and his shadows notice the small things. They take notes of your likes and dislikes, what makes you giggle, cry, or provides you comfort.
At times when he’s away for a long while, and you’re missing him, they will deliver small gifts to you. A couple flowers tied with twine, native to the strange lands he’s currently working in. A special spice he knows you love to use in the foods you share with him. An especially-delicious pastry made with your favorite fruit/flavor. Though the shadows themselves do not find you gifts, they are happy to deliver whatever Az requests they send.
They also will take anything you wish to send him. Whether he’s in another country, or simply training at the House of Wind with his brothers, his shadows will deliver your every gift. Most of the time it’s little sweets or a lunch you’ve packed. Sometimes when you’re feeling cheekier, a receipt from the lingerie store informing him of your latest purchase. If you’re really feeling brazen, sometimes the panties themselves. His shadows are perhaps happiest to carry those items, either to get into contact with them or to see their master’s red cheeks as he shoves them out of his brothers’ view.
His shadows are your caretaker when he is not with you. When you’ve fallen asleep staying up for your mate’s return from yet another mission, his shadows will tuck you under your favorite blanket, taking off your reading glasses and ensuring your spot in the open book on your lap is not lost. Az nearly melts when he comes back to the sight, you dead asleep on the couch in front of the blazing hearth, his shadows perched dutifully there, guarding you.
However, they grow attached to you and even when he is with you, they will not leave you alone unless he commands them.
Azriel likes to take full advantage of his time alone with you. There is nothing he finds more comfort and pleasure in than being in your embrace. Sometimes that’s hard to do, though, when his shadows steal away your attention, or beat him to helping you with the zip of your dress.
It’s a very endearing sight to see him get jealous of his own shadows. He’d have a scowl on his face as he glared at them, silently ordering them to leave your side so he could have you all to himself. The shadows would melt onto the floor, gloomy in a way, whisper once more around your ankle before they go off to fulfill their master’s instruction.
Most of the time, you manage to guilt your mate into letting a few of them come back. And as soon as he calls them, they appear and shoot right for you. Az rolls his eyes but of course he understands. How could they not fall in love with you?
Azriel is actually very good with sharing. This usually applies to you when his shadows are involved, though sometimes he just needs to be alone with you. Whether it’s to have his way with you or just to snuggle up and bask in his mate’s presence. When he needs time like that, he will have his shadows guard your quarters and they will do so without question— fiercely protecting the only two beings they care for.
~spicy hc’s begin ;)~
Most of the time, Azriel will take the lead in pleasuring you— as he should, as your mate— but he’s likely to let his shadows watch or join his efforts if they play a supporting role.
For example, his favorite thing is to be between your legs, feasting on your sweet cunt and making sure you know you are his, while his shadows hold you down so you can’t move an inch. This way, you have to take the pleasure in the exact way he desires, unable to greedily chase your high or buck your hips or push him away.
Usually he plays with you for a while like this, teasing you and edging you a handful of times before he’s ruthless, unstopping even after you’ve come. He does cease his ravishing after you’ve come again, only to ensure he doesn’t overstimulate you before he’s had a chance to fuck you like you both want.
His shadows are happy to shackle you and render you helpless to his onslaught of pleasure; they love hearing your wanton cries and will dry away any tears of pleasure that escape with a cool, ghostly caress.
Speaking of their caress, one of his favorite uses for them is to soothe your skin when he’s done marking it up. Meaning, after every spank or particularly hard bite, the shadows will rove over the irritated flesh, kissing you with their cooling tendrils.
Since the shadows are slightly cold, sending them to curl around your nipples while he fucks you from behind is also another favorite. The temperature-play heightens everything— especially when they move down your curves to tease at your clit or your ass, depending on your preference…
Sometimes he lets them fuck you as part of your foreplay— usually while you’re sucking his cock. He just loves the surprise that flickers in your eyes when you’re choking on the length of him deep in your throat, how your lashes flutter when that familiar cool touch tickles your inner thighs and pushes your wet panties aside, how your moan feels vibrating around him when they thrust inside of you. He savors how your rhythm gets thrown, how you struggle to continue when his shadows are running over every sensitive crevice of your most intimate parts.
On rarer occasions, Azriel will let the shadows have their way with you. He’d sit back in a comfortable, wing-friendly armchair, darkened hazel eyes drinking in every movement before him— you with your eyes rolled back in ecstasy, the darkness holding your legs spread and fondling every inch of you— cupping your tender breasts, tweaking those pert, hard nipples… stroking your face, your hair, your hips and thighs… flowing over your puffy clit, slipping between your dripping folds and even wandering inside of you, perhaps just as deep as Azriel’s cock could reach. He would jerk his leaking shaft at the sight before him, lip held prisoner in his feral snarl. He wouldn’t be able to last very long, the sight before him too much for him to keep his composure.
When you’re both spent and panting for breath, the shadows will run up and down your moistened back, taking away the heat that lingers there and helping to lull you to sleep.
Only when you’re unconscious do they return to Azriel, curling around his shoulders in thanks. They know they are lucky to be the sole creature/presence with which he shares his mate, and any time spent with you is valued payment for the many services they provide their master with.
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nemirutami · 1 year
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I discovered you recently and was scrolling through your stuff when I fell in love with your Joker redesign. It’s just so Good! Not only is your art style perfect (for all your art, really) but the thought you put into it was just wonderful. My favorite part were the horns, they just fit so well! I’d love to see any other ideas you have, but really I just wanted to gush about how much I loved it. Thank you!
Aw, that makes me so incredibly happy!!!! As much as I rag on P5's story execution, I do adore all the potential there is to the characters and the potential in redesigns that better fit the character's personalities. I'll repost all the ones I've finished for funsies, but I think now is actually a good time to mention that I'm going to be compiling all my p5 redesigns into a little zine (a re-de-zine haha) with more detailed thought process behind what I was thinking when redesigning them (there wasnt enough blank space for all my notes, or my sketches)! I'll add some blurbs from the document I have in [these] brackets! I actually focused heavily on his mask, so I'm super relieved and excited that it's what you liked most about it!
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JOKER
[[Aside from Akechi’s prince outfit (which I think was flawlessly executed), I knew that I couldn’t allow myself to butcher Joker’s design- especially since I intended to remake his mask, despite his mask being perfect as it is (and was also my base for the Black Mask design before I decided to remake everyone else). // My main concern was to make the outfit represent all of PT’s, not just Joker, but I also wanted to highlight Akechi’s part in playing as his foil. As such, where Akira has a heart shape connecting all phantom thieves together by a silver string of fate, Akechi has a distorted red glow that extends chains to weigh him down as well as wings to show his ability to choose his own path.]]
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AKECHI [[I wanted to keep his face obscured, but add an option to show himself if he wished. So, a hood helped cover him up for me. It helped me make it feel as though it’s a “lost” part of Robin Hood that still clings on to his Black Mask design- a desire (though weak and decaying) to be a good person underneath it all for someone he once cared about. //
Akechi's chains (from his heart) symbolize his outlook on bonds, and how they tie you down, whereas Jokers symbolize the strength he has with his teammates. I felt like this was a little too sad to write on the concept page. Reading “Goro Akechi has no friends and it manifests in his Black Mask outfit” isn’t the most uplifting sentence you want to stumble across.]] ANN [[Ann was often forced to hold her tongue around Kamoshida in order to protect Shiho, and Shiho in turn tried to do the same to protect Ann. The whip I created for her is a play on the phrase “hold your tongue” showing a lion with it’s mouth open and its tongue hanging out- filled with thorns and ready to be used as a weapon to protect those that she values. One of her biggest weaknesses now becomes her force for change and success, and she ultimately uses her power as a thief to open the maw of the man that told her to be quiet- revealing all his ugly secrets with his own words.]]
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FUTABA [[This one doesn't have any notes I can share yet, but she took ages to design, so that's why, lmfao!]]
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MORGANA
[[ I wanted to make him blend in more with a classic SMT demon such as Jack Frost, but still distinct enough to stand out as “more than a demon”.
//
Since Morgana is the collective human hope, I think he can take any shape or form. I only retained his cat persona because I wanted to stay true to the original design concept of it being an animal. If I was allowed complete creative form over a “guiding light” however, I think I would base Morgana’s design on Anubis or psychopomps- guides of souls (souls of human hope). The interesting thing about psychopomps is that while Anubis is also an example of one, commonly, so are crows. Meaning, I would have to design Morgana to fit a canine in order to imply Akechi himself could have perhaps had a guide similar to Mona if he was not used to bring about ruin. However, Morgana’s cat aesthetic is tied into Joker’s own traits (sometimes down to mannerisms), so getting rid of the cat persona was not something I really wanted. That, and the fact the last protagonist was based on a loyal dog made it hard for me to choose canine. I would have liked to pull something out of zoroastrianism if possible, but I was not sure how far I could take it before his design became entirely unrecognisable. And the point of a redesign was not to entirely change them to become different characters, but just to play around with different themes to better fit the character and their backstory/feelings/traits.
]]
I really hope this content was fun to read!!!! The next design I have in my WIPS is Yusuke. Honestly, I find Ryuji and Yusuke are going to be super challenging, since I ADORE their designs and I genuinely do not want to just touch them up randomly without purpose and happen to downgrade them. Morgana and Ann were my easiest targets haha.
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cooki3face · 8 months
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spirit baby reading🍼
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I’ve felt called to do this reading this whole week and I felt called to do it again this morning so i figured id oughta do the reading since I’ve been pulled to do it more than once. I hope you find something special to keep with you in this reading! 🫧
Pile one:
🍼~ significant colors: green, blue, orange, red, yellow.
🍼~ the chakras that are represented by those colors may be significant as well.
Green: the heart chakra “I love”
Blue: the third eye chakra “I see”
Orange: the sacral chakra “I feel”
Red: the root chakra “I am”
Yellow: the solar plexus chakra “I do”
🍼~ angel numbers: 222, 444, 666 7891, 6466
🍼~ locations: Maine, Rhode Island, North Carolina, Washington, laguna Beach, Mississippi, Connecticut, Virginia, Louisiana,,
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Pile one is manifesting something. Manifesting a new life, manifesting pregnancy, long term commitments, relationships, happiness, success, abundance and so much more here. Very high vibrational energy coming through and I see all this coming through for you this is just being channeled alone from the heart space not even with the help of my cards yet. You could be needing to practice affirmations or write down affirmations using the proper openings aligned with the chakras. You could be building new routines in your life or in the process of trying to create a new reality. Lions gate portal is significant for this group. That’s to be august 8, 2023. Save the date. Someone’s getting married as well, “save the date.” Is often what we write on wedding invitations. There are many manifestations and desires coming through for you within the month of august pile one. By the end of the year your life will be completely different!! There are five months left in the year and the number five represents human perfection as well as prosperity and Justice as well as knowledge as well. You could be getting some news soon or something you’ve been hoping for or something you very well deserve is coming in for you. All those times you got your hopes up because you got messages that your wish fulfillments were coming in and they didn’t, this is not that time, this is not a drill. Wish fulfillments are their way to you and you don’t have to do shit. I’m hearing sit still. I haven’t even started reading the cards yet!!! Spirit has so much to say to you and so much they want to tell you. Top of the deck ace of cups, bottom of the deck nine of cups. Ace of cups talks about love, an outpour of it, many of you are about to receive the most beautiful, long term, and honest love. I see contentment and happiness with the nine of cups upright. I split the deck in the center, spirit has surprises for you, they don’t want you to know. Start working on those manifestations. The remainder of this week up into august 8 spirit wants you to write all of it down and start becoming familiarized with the new life you’re about to receive. Okay, okay, im gonna start with the cards!!
First card out here is the king of cups. A lot of you are feminine energies here the baby says the father is coming in and he’s being represented by the king of cups. Emotionally balanced, compassionate, honorable, diplomatic. He’s a real man, he’s a good man savannah!! He’s gonna support you, he’s gonna care for you and he’s gonna keep you safe. Some of you know this person already, this person is very protective of you. I’m hearing, “daddy is gonna keep us safe.” Some of you have daddy issues or father wounds that you’d been working through and healing these past years or months and I see this person really coming through for you and being the father you wished you had or the father that you’d want for your children or the father figure or divine masculine energy who is lead you in life or add to your life and improve your life and bring you peace, happiness and solace. I’m hearing “what a man, what a man, what a mighty good man.” Everyone is looking at him, he leads by example, this is big daddy right here.
Yea, some of you know this man already, this could’ve been someone you had a past relationship with or have history with in one way or another whether y’all were friends or lovers or y’all had a relationship that just didn’t quite get off of the ground for certain reasons but I hear spirit telling me that all you guys went through or the events that took place leading up to this moment was divine protection and divine timing and intervention all at play!! Girl, I’m screaming! All I wanna type is exclamation marks!!! ‼️‼️‼️ this king of cups dealt with a lot within his life, a lot of loss, a lot of betrayal, a lot of heart break but I’m hearing you loved him through it, you were gentle with him, you were supported, your heart beat for him while his heart wasn’t pumping. He’s healing. He’s healed. He’s ready.
Daddy is working hard here with this knight of pentacles in reverse, he could be business savvy or really good with money and financially intelligent but there’s something here about him working hard for you, to provide you with something, to bring you a gift. You could’ve been receiving messages about him coming in and he’s taking his time here but he’s working. I’m hearing he’s a hard man to get in touch with but when he comes in he’s going to make time for you in many ways, answering the phone while he’s at work, you want him to come home early, he doesn’t care, he’s coming home early. He could run his own business or something he’s a boss. The baby is so excited the baby is ready to come in too. Some of you could be manifesting pregnancy or manifesting a family and I see the father ready to give you that and the spirit baby is excited. He’s a little boy. He’s gonna enjoy both outdoor activities and nature but also enjoy quiet indoor activities as well. You know those babies people talk about that eat well, sleep through the night and never cry unless they need something, that’s the energy I’m getting from this child and I see him being very smart and articulate I see you and the father going out of your way to see it through he get a good education and is very well taken care of and happy.
You and this divine masculine could not come from much here or may find that you guys have and had a lot of generational curses to break within your family and I see those generational curses being broken and ending with the two of you. Some of you have a pet, he or she is young and will be spending the next 20-30 years with you and will be very good with the baby and with the children and is going to love your husband or your partner. This divine masculine or your person is really passionate about you. He’s coming towards you, he loves you.
I hear he’s finally learning his worth and you know yours. He could’ve spent a lot of time in the past with shitty people, around karmic energies and doing bad stuff or having bad habits as a way to cope or because he had unhealed wounds. He could’ve had an unhealed mother wound which affected his selection in women as well. But he knows better now, he loves himself better now and he’s not even worried about all of those other women or the type of woman he was surrounded by. For some of you there could be a third party interference or someone around him who sees him growing and wants to keep him but he’s not on any of that, he doesn’t fuck with that girl, he’s married. (To you) in spirit and soon to be in the 3D. He’s been working hard I see over investment in work and hustling.
Ace of swords upright, he could’ve finally had a breakthrough or he finally found mental clarity and this is bringing up so much success for him, I see him wanting to tell you, running to tell you what he’s found out or about how he feels and where he is in life. He’s excited and you’re the person he shares excitement and happiness with. I keep hearing “my wife, my wife, my wife, my wife”, this divine masculine could’ve had an issue here he could’ve struggled with depression, anxiety, addiction. All these entrapments of the mind that kept him down, energetically drained and unable to come through for you or show up for you but his mind is clear, he’s finally stepped into his power, he’s finally in his divine masculine energy. So happy for him.
I hear the baby, the baby says that his dad is manifesting you, if you feel him, if you’re communicating with him telepathically or you’re dreaming of him this is because his mind is open, his third eye is open, he’s in the right energy to fully connect with you and his conscious mind has been awakened to this as well. He could be on a spiritual journey or diving deeper into spirituality or learning more about himself and his souls purpose. This divine masculine could be destined for something, he’s protected by god, by your spirit guides and his own, his ancestors, your ancestors, I see everyone backing him and supporting him. He could be a prophet or have some type of divinely given gift here. You could have spiritual gifts of your own as well. I see you guys leading by example or showing people what divine love and what true power is. He’s the man. You know when guys are like “I’m him.” They’re not, this divine masculine is.
I’m hearing the child, it’s as if he’s saying “my daddy is coming and he’s going to set the world ablaze.” This child is very proud of his parents, very excited to be given to you, raised by you, taught by you. He could see you two as mentors, especially you. I hear the child saying that he’d been studying you, watching you all this time and he’s proud to be apart of your life and bring you happiness and joy. This could end up being a very talented child and a very well loved child as well. Bringing you more prosperity. There gonna grow up to do something and/or do something in their youth that will bring people happiness and joy.
I hear you bring your person or this divine masculine more power. I hear him saying “I’m connected with my intuition, I see all, but I am more powering with you.” He could be really withdrawn, he could not be talking to anyone right now and neither are you. I’m hearing you do your work or you use social media to do what you need to do and you get off. People are wondering where you are, they’re wondering where he is. He feels incomplete without you by his side you’re the missing piece within his life and all his prosperity and abundance. His souls purpose is to love you, all of his hard work, all of his abundance and love is to be shared with and given to you. It is not made for anyone else.
I hear he’s sitting on a lot of money here or he’s about to create something or develop something some time soon that may bring you two lots of money and abundance. Spirit is saying to dream big, stop thinking you won’t be able to afford the house or the wedding or whatever else you want or need because you will, this man has you. Stop thinking you can’t afford something or what if we can’t afford this or when you’re looking at inspo or looking at your mood boards and the type of stuff you want stop trying to be cautious and play it small just in case like you won’t be able to afford something cause that’s not a possibility for the two of you.
He’s taking his time cause he’s making his money, he’s reorganizing his life and getting himself right but he’s on his way. I keep hearing, “if you want me come get me/come see me” and he knows how you move so he’s coming. He comes baring gifts, good news, and an offer of long term commitment. And if you don’t like the ring he picked out, he’ll buy you a new one. I’m hearing or he’ll melt it down and make you a new one 💀 he’s an alchemist. He takes small things and makes them big. You could’ve been telling him he’s to be great for many years. You saw his power, you could’ve foresaw his future and success. Well he’s become who you knew he could be all along and he’s ab to come bless you.
Have the best day/night. Or whatever. Thanks for listening and getting a reading from me.
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pile two
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Hello! Hope you don't mind the random ask 🥺 You said after the newest episode that Mushitarou is one of your favorite BSD characters; could you talk a little about your thoughts on him/why you love him/his arc? He's one of my favorites too, and it makes me so so sad how underrated he is, because imo he's one of the most well-written and tragic characters in the entire series, despite how little screentime (pagetime?) he gets :' ) I wish more people would talk about him. Really hope that changes after the next episode 💚
I honestly almost screamed when I got this ask YES I CAN TALK ABOUT MUSHITARO. I CAN TALK ABOUT HIM ALL DAY.
Ok well first of all he is the poor little meow meow. Pathetic scrunkly man. I'm sorry but you can't deny that it's true. Even in-universe, it's like he's the BSD world's chew toy. He keeps getting kidnapped by different organizations with like. No breathing room in between. Give him a BREAK. Funnily enough, I enjoy and usually like to poke fun at these kinds of characters, but they're not typically my favourites. Mushitaro is, by far, an exception to my usual favourite character types.
Second, I am a lover of bittersweet tragic storylines. Yeah. Honestly, the way the storyline built to the slow reveal - I knew immediately after Poe mentioned the water droplets that they were his tears, and I was starting to suspect what was really going on, but the way it was unraveled was so, so painful and beautifully done. Even knowing it was coming today when I watched the episode, it still hurt.
Thirdly, Mushitaro's circumstances raise some intriguing questions we still don't have answered. He was captured by the Seventh Agency and made to work for them with his ability - he considers them a worse alternative to Dostoevsky and refers to them as tyrants. (We also know of another shadowy organization that takes on ability users with useful skills for nefarious purposes, V. V also somehow managed to not be discovered by either the government or Ranpo in 13 years. I'm not saying there's a connection there but... but... there might be. 👀) Anyways, point is, there's stuff goin' on there. And I wanna know. (Also I like the motivation parallels with Ango very much.)
But most of all, I fully agree with you - he is very well-written. What I love most about his character is actually the way his narrative showcases what I believe to be some of the series' character writing's biggest strengths - to excellent (and heartbreaking) effect.
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Characters are often revealed to be quite different than what their initial introductions would suggest. Later revelations serve to recontextualize earlier character cues - these early cues are often misleading but not outright lies.
To be clear, this isn't a hard or particularly unique thing in character writing - in fact, this is... kind of a minimum requirement. Your audience should be able to go back after the fact and notice new things about characters that you only get on re-read. But I find BSD is interesting for this because these initial impressions don't frequently tell you what these characters actually value - the "establishing moments" are often incredibly misleading. Mushitaro is an excellent example of this.
The best part of the perfect murder arc is the way it slowly unravels piece by piece - and as it unravels, more and more, we get to see the real Mushitaro. He starts off with these terrifying facial expressions, bragging and boasting about how he is the "detective killer" and how none stand in his way, cackling like a shallow cartoon villain. There's not much there to suggest a deeper character. Then there's the first flash to Yokomizo's murder, and Mushitaro appears to revel in it and the idea that he can't be caught. Another flashback shows him making these arrogant demands of a literal terrorist, like all his tableware being silver and porcelain and having access to a library of occult books for his study. Ok dude. This all paints the picture of a selfish individual, primarily concerned with expensive things and money and image - all things that perfectly fit Ranpo's initial conjecture as to the kind of person behind the Kindaichi murder. And just like Ranpo later says, it's a little too perfect.
The reveal builds slowly but surely, and Mushitaro's built-up image as a dramatic, remorseless murderer crumbles. Because he didn't kill out of hatred at all. He killed Yokomizo because Yokomizo asked him to do so. Because this, and the legacy of a mystery that transcended fiction into reality, was his only friend's dying wish. It was enough for Mushitaro to delay his escape just to fulfill it - what Ranpo refers to as a kind of willing self-destruction.
What Mushitaro ultimately values then is honouring the wishes of those he cares about and repaying those he owes. He will take the secret of Yokomizo's ultimate mystery to his grave. He used what he likely thought were his last moments alive to grab the transceiver and warn Ranpo about the danger the Agency was in. He only decided to trust Ango after Ango admitted his use of the Seventh Agency was to honour Oda's memory and wishes.
So, going back and re-reading his intro again, it becomes more clear that he was suffering from a kind of cognitive dissonance. "But wasn't he just playing the role he was supposed to?" No. He wasn't. The first flashback to Yokomizo's murder is much more violent and ends with Mushitaro cackling and going into a full villain monologue when there is no one else around but him. There's no one to perform this role for - except Mushitaro himself.
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Both the killing and the ensuing grief stemmed from the exact same source - Mushitaro loved his friend deeply. But there is, I believe, no small amount of bitterness too, for the way they argued frequently, and the way his friend asked this of him. It's practically irreconcilable in his mind, and so Mushitaro leans into his role as the evil perpetrator who hated Yokomizo to such a degree that I honestly think he started to believe it - Mushitaro, with two narratives in his mind running parallel to each other that are fundamentally conflicting, tried to make a monster of himself. Insisted on being the monster, at least until Ranpo made it impossible for him to deny the true motive behind his actions - protecting his friend's last wish.
Fittingly for the climactic reveal of a mystery storyline that blurs fiction and reality, Mushitaro's real-life grief was his perfect fictional role's undoing.
Is he boastful? Arrogant? A bit of a coward? Absolutely. But Mushitaro is no monstrous villain - he is a man unable to confront his grief over his friend's death, and who, ultimately, doesn't intend any real harm.
Because other than Yokomizo, revealed as an agreed upon assisted suicide - Mushitaro never murdered anyone.
2. Characters are not cured of their pain and trauma. They continue to struggle with it during their development and it actively impacts the way they view and interact with the world around them.
Mushitaro's story is heavily themed around grief and his consistent denial of it's effects on him. At first, he denies by embodying the role Yokomizo wanted him to play - it seems to the point where he legitimately started to lose it. He's slipping when we first meet him. In a weird way, for as much as Ranpo tore his perfect crime apart... I feel like he also saved him, in a sense. The dissonance he was experiencing likely only would've gotten worse if he had not been forced to speak the truth aloud.
After that point... the denial focuses solely on the idea that Mushitaro doesn't miss Yokomizo at all. That he's doing just fine and Yokomizo should be jealous (he's far from fine; he doesn't even see a point in going outside anymore now that he won't be able to see his friend) and that he hated him (he doesn't. he never did. but he has to. he can't deal with it.).
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Another thing I really like about his arc is that Mushitaro's grief also clearly stems from the entire thing being traumatic for him - but neither Yokomizo nor Mushitaro are demonized or victimized for this; rather the situation is just shown as it is. It's nice, that the story allows the reader/viewer to draw their own judgements. Both had their reasons for their actions - Yokomizo was already dying and wanted to go out in a way that was meaningful to him, while Mushitaro chose to fulfill this wish in spite of the cost to him. They both mutually self-destructed, in a way.
The narrative doesn't frame either as the villain. It doesn't fully frame either in victimhood either. It's a tragedy all the same.
Mushitaro continues to see and hear Yokomizo wherever he goes, not because he can't get rid of him... but because he never wanted him to be gone in the first place. Stabbing me would hurt less I think. :/
3. Characters often grow and change before they consciously realize it or have any sort of "epiphany".
This ties in a lot with the ongoing theme of uncertainty, and I above all really like this aspect of the series. BSD has characters grow and change and try to be better, do better by themselves and others... without being sure of the outcome. Sometimes before they're ready to consciously admit a change is necessary. There are few epiphanies. The characters are forced to slog through hardship and only then suddenly realize how far they've come - for better or for worse.
Mushitaro does change, even in the short span of time he is a focus character. I love the first little signs of it too - Mushitaro, who doesn't even like mystery novels, uses a trick Yokomizo told him about to help himself, Atsushi and Kyouka escape. Look at him :')
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Afterwards, he starts to wonder if he can see Yokomizo whenever he enters a locked room - as in, if connecting to the memory of his friend through what he loved in life will mean that he keeps that memory alive.
And as annoyed as he is with Poe's attempts to get him to write a mystery... a part of him is happy to be around people that he could start to consider his friends. Enough that the Yokomizo he hallucinates wonders if maybe he doesn't need him there anymore. And finally Mushitaro bursts.
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But this is actually good. He's finally past that denial phase, the part that had him talking about hate when really he missed him all along. Thing is, he'd already been developing and changing by this point, in that he needed the growth to come to terms with this truth, and it was not the truth that drove the growth.
In a sense, Mushitaro working through his grief and uncertainty led him to a brighter outcome, one where he has more friends and can start anew. He lost the closest person in his life. But his arc continuously asserts that in spite of the fact that he will always miss his friend, Mushitaro himself is still alive. And he should live that life - both moving forward and keeping the memory of his friend with him.
Odasaku believed that writing a novel was to write people. Poe was so insistent on getting him to write because it's a way of seeing the people we want to see anytime we want.
What a beautiful character arc, that began with fiction as an escape from real-life pain, and concluded with fiction as a means to work through it and with it instead.
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Plus he's just such a funky little dude.
I. Love. Mushitaro.
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septembercfawkes · 3 months
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**long post** A baby. Graduation. A new job. A just-booked vacation. Newlyweds. A blank canvas. New Year’s. I am convinced one of the reasons so many human beings love these things, is because we are in love with the concept of potential.
It’s exciting, a fresh start, with so many ways things could go and grow.
But sooner or later, we all grow up to be disappointments.
. . . I love New Year’s because I love a new year.
I love new beginnings—that fresh start and that blank slate.
But I also love old beginnings.
What do I mean by “old beginnings?”
Well, you know last year’s resolution that you abandoned after five months? After two months? After three weeks? And maybe it’s that resolution you’ve written down year after year after year?
And maybe, just maybe, you are courageous enough to write it down again this year?
That’s an old beginning.
And like anyone, I have my fair share of old beginnings.
Today, modern society often thinks of perfection as meaning something that is flawless—something that has no mistakes, ever.
So often, this is how people approach their New Year’s resolutions. “I’m not gonna have soda this year”—for example. And then, three weeks into it, they have a soda. “Oh man, I blew it. I always blow my New Year’s resolution. I’m a failure. Why do I even try? I’m never going to get off this diet coke.”
But I don’t believe that is the way God wants us to view failures and setbacks.
In fact, failures and setbacks, are part of His plan for us to become more like Him.
The word “perfect” comes from the latin word, “perficere,” which means to bring to completion. Or more accurately said, “to make or do to completion.”
While we usually use it today for something that has never had flaws, the word originally came from the idea of making something whole, complete, or I guess you could say, mature. To achieve its best potential.
I believe we all have a divine potential.
And it’s not a race to see who can fulfill it first.
What matters is that you are trying.
What matters, is that you are brave enough to try that old beginning again.
I’m not saying there aren’t things that we shouldn’t let go, that’s important too.
But don’t fall under the misguided spell of society that old beginnings are lesser than new beginnings.
We don’t become perfect at something by avoiding flaws and failures. We perfect something through proper perseverance, which comes from overcoming flaws and failures.
Disappointment is temporary, usually.
It isn’t about not messing up. It’s about eventually bringing something to completion. “To make complete.”
And ironically, in some sense, you have more potential to complete an old beginning than you’ve ever had previously. Because you have some experience now. You know what to expect.
Don’t give into the world’s dooming concept of perfect. I do not believe that is what the world was made for.
Instead strive for “perficere” perfect. And that is a state that is achieved at the *end* of a journey, not a game of chance to maintain flawless-ness from the beginning.
Divine potential doesn’t disappear. No one here is capable of messing up so bad, or being so far gone, it completely vanishes.
It is always there.
I hope this next year you will strive toward “perficere” perfect.
Best wishes, and Happy (soon-to-be) New Year 🥳🎆
(And if you actually read all that, I think you deserve brownie points 😆)
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valenshawke · 19 days
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Law & Order, Season 23, episode 5: "Last Dance"
Blah, blah, blah, rich tech mogul commits murder to cover-up that he's a sexual predator. Variation on a tried-and-true story that the show has used since time immemorial.
But they had to make it more complicated to write Jack McCoy off the show.
@albatrossisland and @monidon, this one's for you.
In Seasons 18 and 19, you had Governor Donald Shalvoy and he was very clearly a fictionalized version of former NY Governor Eliot Spitzer. I guess they didn't want to anger the current NYC Mayor, Eric Adams, by having a fictionalized version of him being corrupt. But in the era of #MeToo where formerly untouchable powerful men (for decades) got away with all sorts of sexually predatory actions, it strains credulity that someone would not simply cut their losses and distance himself from the suspect. But you need an antagonist, right?
I'm often not a fan of the criticism that something is contrived. A story is a story and the actions a character takes are written to lead to a certain point. Everything is contrived in fiction. It's how well you do it.
Since the show came back, the writers show they simply cannot do it well. Everything has gotta be a twist, curve-ball, or an absurd social commentary (and I'm saying that about a show that did social commentary since episode ONE). If anyone is wondering where my gripe is on that last one, it goes back to my bone to pick with Nolan "Spineless Coward" Price giving IMMUNITY to a SCHOOL SHOOTER so he could PROSECUTE THE FATHER for the shooting.
Now, do I believe (in certain cases) parents should be held responsible for the actions of their children in this case? Absolutely. The Ethan Crumbley case in Michigan is a perfect example! There NOT definite warnings signs: There were FUCKING FIVE-ALARM BELLS and red flags the size of football fields that something was seriously wrong with the kid and he needed help, not for his mother to buy him a fucking gun. Parents were charged without any immunity. I still hold that against the writers.
Rick Eid's run as show-runner has demonstrated a clear lack of knowledge of character history on the show (Jack in particular), a lack of even the loosest understanding of the law works in the show's universe, and a desperate need for actual lawyers as consultants or on the writing staff.
I'm also convinced that writers hate Hugh Dancy. The guy has acting chops, he was wonderful in HANNIBAL. But like… refer to my earlier description of Nolan Price.
Which brings us to Jack's sendoff and the overall story.
Mayor Payne? Yeah, that's certainly subtle.
I often think back to how Jack (and Mike Cutter) fought back against the GOVERNOR and they can't handle the freaking mayor? Writers, what the fuck?
I guess where the writers got something right was Jack believes in justice for the victim, regardless of who you are. And they gave Jack one last courtroom battle. And, on one hand, it is fitting. They wanted Jack to go out in a figurative blaze of glory. He was alone in the court, no second chair. I do wonder if he thought about all the second chairs he's had and how they helped him along the way (I am getting weirdly emotional writing this). And despite the fact he got burned, he managed to burn his enemies on the way out.
But this isn't the end I wanted.
Sometimes, a low-key ending is suitable for a character who worked (by my own calculation) 50-plus years in the DA's office (perhaps closer to 60 years). Who tried some significant cases, contributed to case-law that the show SHOULD HAVE REFERENCED, mentored each of his second chairs after Claire and Jamie. Mentored Mike Cutter.
Jack simply deciding just to retire and not run for re-election and spend the rest of his days fixing his relationship with his daughter, spend time with his grandson, write a book, maybe be a talking-head on legal shows (no, I can't see that), fine. But I wish they could have convinced Sam Waterston to finish out the season, maybe recording something so they show a goodbye party or SOMETHING to start next season, and then have the newly-elected DA introduced. That would have been more satisfying.
As for everything else about this episode. Couldn't the writers, I don't know, research and clarify their own damn show?
Ben Stone
Jack McCoy
Mike Cutter
All Executive Assistant District Attorneys. I know there was some debate on whether or not Nolan Price was actually an EADA. But now he's Deputy District Attorney? What? Writers, there are other EADAs in the DA's office. I realize that the writers have always played fast-and-loose on the hierarchy of the fictional DAs office. SVU had Chief Assistant District Attorney Charlie Philips who spoke of "assigning" a case to Jack McCoy, which I always took more as a administrative role versus a trial role, which put him above Jack in whatever hierarchy worked in the show.
But there were times it very much seemed like Jack WAS the next person in charge if the DA was unavailable until his own appointment.
And then you have the board shown in Season 21 where it seems they had dug it out of storage since it still hate Mike and Connie listed, with Mike being "Chief Assistant District Attorney" before they changed it to "Nolan Price" by the next episode.
I've always been frustrated with the sloppiness of the writing since the show came back and this just adds to the pile.
"It's been a hell of a ride."
It has. I started this show in September of 1998 and even in the periods I didn't watch it too much, there was some comfort that Jack was always there. And I delayed watching this because I just couldn't accept the end.
And now I have.
Memories of days gone by.
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mcybree · 3 months
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Scott's relationship with Jimmy and Pearl is interesting to me
Scott's LL and DL dynamic with Pearl is a bit clearer, where they both loved each other in LL while in DL Pearl began with love for Scott (why wouldn't she?), but Scott didn't share that love for her
Scott also clearly shows that he didn't like Pearl in DL, publicly rejecting her and spreading the story that's she's crazy
With Jimmy, it's interesting because... while I'm pretty sure Jimmy loved Scott, I am however not sure Scott loved Jimmy.
Scott tries to paint the picture that they were perfect together, but that just doesn't line up with how he behaves when it comes to Jimmy For example he extended sympathies to Tango in DL for being teammates with Jimmy, I don't think you would do that if you actually enjoyed being teamed with him in 3rd life
Now, the thing that gets me is that with Pearl, Scott tries to make up to her, because he saw he was wrong. With Jimmy, he still clings to that image of 'the perfect relationship' of 3rd life
I think at least, idk, I'm not Scott, I don't know what's going on inside his brain
I do wish I could understand Scott's motivations sometimes, I love him but he is so confusing to me
Anyways, sorry for writing a lot without actually making a point, I just need to share my thoughts with someone who has a similar 3rd life FH interpretation as me
Sidenote: I use the word 'love' here as the broad term for it, so when I say that Pearl and Scott loved each other in LL, I do not mean they loved each other romantically
hello hello so I dont actually have a lot to add to this bc I think a lot of us are all on the same page about this already buuuuuuut I do have some thoughts on this:
“Now, the thing that gets me is that with Pearl, Scott tries to make up to her, because he saw he was wrong. With Jimmy, he still clings to that image of 'the perfect relationship' of 3rd life”
There’s a few reasons for this (pearl is better at the game than jimmy, scott doesnt see the inherent worth in people and therefore scott doesnt really see jimmy as like. a person) but a really interesting angle to take on this is to examine the difference between how Scott views his platonic and romantic relationships. Granted this is a lot more speculatory than strictly citation based, the only things I’m citing here are Scott’s two perfect jimmy after life endings where the roles are very clear cut despite jimmy not really being. Like That. As well as Scott’s weird fixation on jimmy in particular in DL and beyond (but particularly how he goes about it in limlife + SL as DL is more just outright bullying than weird flirting).
While Scott is still weird about Pearl too sometimes, Pearl is more often the one to bring it up first and most the time I think Scott likes to pretend he doesn’t give a shit about her anymore. Because Scott puts romantic relationships up on a pedestal, he has more rigid expectations about how his relationship with Jimmy was supposed to have actually been like, so in retrospect he’s a lot more willing to glorify it and romanticize what they had than he otherwise would be. He needs to cling on to this whole hopeless romantic with a tragic love schtick as part of his identity or else he dies even though the only genuine human connections he’s made in his entire life have been platonic. He just likes the appeal of being a romantic in theory because he values dedication and loyalty in a way that resonates with the stereotypical storybook romance.
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astxrwar · 4 months
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some of the transmasc! mig hcs rub me the wrong way. ranting transgenderishly abt it. sorrie
1. why are so many ppl defaulting to giving him top surgery scars. look at his body shape, his hips are narrow and his shoulders are broad and he’s over 6’5 lmao. dude would have been on blockers then T as an early teenager. you don’t need top surgery then. unless you construct a narrative where he went off of T for like… at least a year (but probably longer) without getting a complete hysterectomy first then this makes no sense.
it just feels like ppl dont know that much abt transmasc experiences we r not all the same and top surgery scars r not just a thing you slap on to trans someone, not all of us require top surgery + cis guys get top surgery too? just giving uneducated
2. also the fact that it seems like it just doesn’t ever occur to ppl that trans men get bottom surgery. ig that’s an in general issue but why does it seem like every hc’ed trans man character always has a pussy. plenty of us have dicks bro it just feels fetish-y. plenty of us only pass on surgery bc it’s A Lot but it’s 2099 so that’s going to be less of an issue,,, specific to miguel like. why is nobody giving him bottom surgery scars like the fact that there’s not an equal or even rly existing rep for that in a world where getting it would be INFINITELY easier makes me uncomfy it’s rly giving ‘trans men as men-lite” energy
3. also for written content same deal why is nearly every trans guy hced as one who doesn’t get bottom surgery and why is there always SO MUCH focus on specifically using the word pussy. like bitch! an example of a common thing for transmascs: i dew naught even write fem!RC content using that word i avoid almost all fem-genitalia words bc they’re extremely uncomfy to me, and that phenomenon amongst trans men is even more common than trans men who have had bottom surgery. so we have an excess of content focusing on ‘guy with pussy’ and very little if any content even just recognizing a significant amount of trans men r not okay with that terminology n often do not even like engaging their natal anatomy beyond their dicks (significant number of us also use this word and not the other one! btw!!) during sex. n ppl don’t want to write abt this bc it doesn’t fit the fetish!! im doing murder!!
4. i saw someone ranting wrt trans!mig abt how ppl make male characters transmasc to make mlm ships “less gay” wrt: sex and its just like. im going to kill u too! trans men get bottom surgery bro trans men have dicks! plenty of the ones that don’t just straight up do not do PIV! way to hit the nail on the head wrt fandoms seeing trans men as men-lite lmao and way to miss the opportunity for criticism of fandom transphobia by just. validating that perception of trans men.
idk im just so tired where is my trans miguel no top surgery scars (bc he clearly got T at puberty onset) + with bottom surgery scars content :/ arm scar from the nerve + torso scar from the graft, it’s 2099 they’ve probably perfected skin expanders atp so it would just be like. one scar instead of the scar + stretched area but like. i digress. can we please have trans men with dicks content Ever? the abject lack of it kinda feels like left wing version of rw “c*ntboy” fetishism lol. im going to make some myself bc it is an outlet to deal with my Frustration abt this and explore how all trans ppl have different transitions narratively and counter the reductive fandom goggles perception of us. in general i wish the majority of ppl just didn’t do trans hcs until it stops just being a clear and obvious extension of fetishization and stereotyping. throttling ppl biting and maiming and tearing
also like there’s so many ppl who just think trans men who get bottom surgery r gross but won’t admit it and they especially shan’t see the light of heaven and should stop even thinking abt trans men at all <3
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ellerosie2332 · 2 years
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Honey Flower
Floriography – The Language of Flowers 
Andy Barber x Fem!Reader 
Summary: You knew that getting involved with a married man wasn’t the smartest choice. But the love you held for Andy made all the pain worth it. Wasn't it? 
Word Count: 7k 
Warnings: Fluff, Angst, Smut (P in V, Fem receiving oral), Cheating (Not on reader), Swearing, Drinking, Marriage problems, Divorce, Age gap (Specific ages not mentioned), Mention of pregnancy. I think that is all but let me know if I missed anything. This is 18+ only. Minors DNI. 
(A/N: This is my entry for @starryevermore's Welcome to Angst City™ Writing Challenge. I honestly don’t know how good this I so any feedback is welcome. Please do not copy my work. Reblogs are welcome. 
Prompts: How Do You Say ‘Fuck You’ In Flowers? + Fifth Floor + Chris’ Pretty Boys: Andy Barber) 
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***
You have always loved flowers. Believing that there is more to them that then actual blossom. The Victorians used to use flowers as a way of communication. They would gift each other flowers to send a message. You studied floriography from a youthful age. Fascinated by how flowers could mean so much. They weren’t just for romance. The yellow hyacinth meant jealousy, the orange mock meant deceit and the trumpet flower meant separation.  
Flowers could also be given platonically, between mother and child or between friends. Pussy willow meant motherhood, moss meant maternal love and freesia meant trust or friendship. Working as a florist was magical to say the least. You watched as people tried to woo each other. You saw how people begged for forgiveness. Being able to make different arrangements for different circumstances was always a joy. Weddings, proposals, begging for forgiveness. There were also some not so great, arrangements for example funerals or when one person was dishonest with another.  
You grew up in England, living in the countryside, near the fields where wild flowers grew. Your favourites being daisies, which meant innocence or gentleness, asters which were a symbol of love and ivy which meant wedded love. Marriage. Something you had always wanted.  
When you were in your mid-twenties you moved to Massachusetts. Your Grandfather was sick and was requesting your presence. You barely knew him and only had met him a few times as a kid, but who were you to deny a dying man his final wishes. Turns out your Grandfather was fairly rich. Nothing dramatic but when he did eventually pass on he left you enough to start your own floristry shop in Newton.  
Your parents were going to stay in America too, to be closer to the family you grew up without. So, you decided to accept the money and open your shop ‘Floriography.’ You sold all kinds of flowers, each with the meaning provided. You hoped that when people came in that they would appreciate the knowing what the flowers meant. There was a small apartment above the shop where you could stay. Everything was going perfect in your life.  
*** 
‘Floriography’ was popular. Many people came in for their anniversaries and were so impressed that they often came back. Every bouquet you made was made with love. No two were the same. You wanted to make sure that each bouquet was personal and met the customer’s needs.  
About four months after you opened, a man walked in, and you were instantly intrigued. He was tall with dark hair and a neatly trimmed beard. He walked with confidence in an expensive suit but there was some sense of calmness around him. You instantly felt intimidated by him he obviously held some kind of power. He walked up to the desk where you were standing, working on a bouquet of pink roses (perfect happiness) for an anniversary and was patiently waiting for your attention. 
You smiled up at him and asked him to just wait a second as you put the final additions on the bouquet before you gave him your full attention.  
“How can I help you?” You smiled trying not to give away your nervousness. 
“I just came in to have a look, you see my wife has been stressed lately and I wanted to get her something to cheer her up.” His voice was silky and calm.  
“Well, I can make you a custom bouquet for her if you like.” I offered. I had seen this many times a husband coming in to cheer up their partner. 
“Would you mind?” He asked hopefully. “I noticed that you have the meanings of each flower written down so I assume you would know how I can express my appreciation of her?” 
I was more than happy to help him. It reminded me of why I enjoyed my job so much. 
“Of course, well I could use a wild pansy, which means ‘you occupy my thoughts”? Or calla lilies which means ‘magnificent beauty’?” 
He interrupted you. “She does like calla lilies, and they have a great meaning.” His accent coming through strongly compared to your British one. 
“Well, they would look lovely with a little holly, which means domestic happiness. And forgive me if I am overstepping here, but as you are in my shop purely to cheer her up I believe that holly would be appropriate.” 
He let out a small chuckle. “You are not overstepping and yes I would like to this we live in ‘domestic happiness.’ Well, you’re the expert so I will leave it to you.” 
“That’s great. So, I will have these ready for collection tomorrow if you would like to collect them? If not fill out this card and I can deliver them for you.” I smiled at him. 
“I’ll collect them after work tomorrow if that’s okay. I think coming straight from me will mean more to her. Anyway, thank you so much for your help I really appreciate this.” He grinned at me. “I’ll see you tomorrow…” he looked down at the name tag on my apron “…Y/N” 
“I’ll see you then.”  
He walked out of the shop and back down the street. I let out a breath that I didn’t know I was holding in. Occupying yourself with getting ready to prepare his bouquet. 
*** 
The next day at around 7:30pm, half an hour before you closed, the man came in to collect his bouquet. It was calla lilies separated and decorated with a little holly, so not to take the attention away from the centre. You wrapped a light pink ribbon around it and tucked your small business card in the ribbon.  
The look on the man’s face was everything you hoped for. Working in floristry helped you read people’s emotions. Whether they liked your flowers or wanted an adjustment, the hopefulness that their significant other would appreciate them and, the least used one, whether they would want to come back again. 
“These are beautiful!” The man complimented me. I smiled in return and offered them to him. He took them in his large hands, admiring them.  
“I hope your wife likes them.” You grinned. It filled you with joy to see someone happy with your creation.  
“I think she will, thank you so much. I might just come back.” He looked at you as he spoke. He had an authoritative voice which intimidated you slightly, but you remained professional.  
“I hope you do. Enjoy your evening…” You smiled at him, hinting that you was yet to find out his name. 
“Andy. Andy Barber.” He said softly. “Have a good night.”  
I watched as he walked out of my shop again. You were intrigued and intimidated by him. He was obviously caring if not he wouldn’t have bought flowers for his wife. He also spoke to you in a gentle voice, he was appreciative of you despite your short encounters. However, you could tell he could be firm when he wanted to be.  
*** 
Andy came in often after buying his first bunch of flowers. Sometimes he used red chrysanthemums which meant ‘I love you’ or multicoloured roses which meant ‘you’re everything to me.’ Few times he had used tulips which symbolise love and passion. 
A few months later Andy came back but this time he had someone with him. It was Mother’s day coming up and Andy had brought his son Jacob in to buy some flowers for his mother. Your heart fluttered at the gesture. Even though you see this all the time, there was something about Andy bringing his son in. You now knew that Andy was the Assistant District Attorney. As you were from England, you weren’t entirely sure on the ins and outs of his job, however, you knew he was a lawyer and an important one at that. 
There was something about seeing Andy so domesticated that you liked. You had to admit to yourself that you were in fact attracted to this kind man. Despite your attraction you respected the laws of marriage too much to allow it to go any further than a crush.  
As soon as you looked up, your eyes met Andy’s. You smiled gently and moved round the counter to greet them. You noticed Jacob looking around at different flowers before turning to you. 
“Do you know the meaning to all flowers?” He asked, obviously noticing the labels you had set out. 
“Well, most of them I do. What are you looking for?” You asked him gently. He just looked around again not answering you. Andy spoke up instead. 
“Something for Laurie for Mother’s day” 
You nodded and had a think. Andy had bought bunches of flowers from you for months. You looked around as you did and started to imagine the different flowers as bunches. 
“How about some carnations. They mean love, platonic or romantic. They are often used for Mother’s day?” You suggested. You looked at Jacob who didn’t have a clue at what you was going on about. “Or just roses again they mean love and can often being used as gifts to Mums.” 
Andy looked at Jacob who shrugged his shoulders. “I’ll let you think about it. It’s an important decision to make.” You smiled at them and went back behind the counter working on a different bouquet. After a minute Jacob came up to me looking nervous. 
“Um.. can I have a bouquet of carnations please?” He asked.  
“Sure” You smiled back. “I’ll have them ready by tomorrow morning” 
“Thank you.” Andy came forward to pay before thanking me and him and Jacob went to exit. 
*** 
Two months after Mother’s day, you had just closed the shop and went upstairs for the evening. After a meal you sat on your sofa with a glass of wine. There was a movie on, but you couldn’t think of what the title was, you weren’t really paying attention to it as you were dozing off.  
When you woke up again it was to your phone going off. However, it was not your personal phone, but your work phone. Usually, you would turn it off after work, but you had been so tired that it slipped your mind. Getting up you go to look at the phone. It comes up as a random number, which isn’t surprising since it is the one on your business card. 
“Hello?” You ask, trying to be polite but looking at the clock you realise that it is gone one in the morning.  
“Y/N? It’s Andy.” You could tell he was drunk. His words were slurred, and he sounded upset. 
“Andy? Do you know what time it is?” 
“I know and I am sorry, but I don’t know what else to do.” he sounded vulnerable. 
“What’s happened Andy?” You barely knew the guy and he is calling you at stupid-o’clock in the morning. 
“It’s… Laurie has been cheating on me. For months now. Apparently, it’s my fault.” He choked out. 
“I’m really sorry to hear that Andy.” You tried to be sympathetic towards him, but you were still confused as to why he was calling you. 
“Y/N I know I am drunk, and I know you won’t believe me, but I am actually relieved. I am relieved because I think… I think that I am falling in love with you.” 
“Andy, you’re right, you’re drunk, and I don’t believe you. You need to get some rest. Do you have somewhere to stay?” You don’t know why you are worried about him; you hardly know him; and he just drunk called you to confess his love for you after his wife cheated on him. 
“No, but I am outside your flower store.” You ran over to the window and saw him standing outside of the phone to you. 
“Hang on, I’ll get some shoes on.” Staying on the phone to him, you got on some shoes and ran down to let him in. 
“Andy why are you here?” You asked. He started sobbing. You could smell the alcohol on him. 
“Why wasn’t I good enough? Why did she have to cheat on me?” He wrapped his arms around you as he cried uncontrollably. 
“I don’t know Andy, come on let’s get you inside.” You lead him up the stairs to the flat above. 
“I know I am drunk, but I mean it. I really like you Y/N, but I never wanted to do anything to jeopardize my marriage. I suppose now it does not matter anymore. I have nothing else to lose.” He confessed.  
When Andy walked into your shop for the first time you were unbelievably attracted to him but the minute, he mentioned his wife you backed off. Not allowing yourself the pleasure of letting your crush grow. However, now here he was, Andy Barber, standing in your living room after admitting he liked you.  
“Andy…” You sighed, “You’re drunk and hurt, and well within your rights to be both right now. So, I am not going to take your words to heart right now. Instead, I am going to get you a glass of water and some painkillers for the morning alright?” He nodded in response. 
You moved round you kitchen getting what you needed from there before heading to the airing cupboard to grab some extra pillows and blankets.  
“Okay,” You started as you went back into the living room, to see Andy sitting on the sofa head in his hands before you busied myself with sorting everything out. “I got you what you might need. My room is the one on the right if you need anything.” You looked towards him when I didn’t get a response. “Andy are you gonna be okay?” You asked. 
“I’m sorry Y/N, I shouldn’t have come here.” 
“What do you mean?” 
“I shouldn’t be here at this time, we’re not friends, you hardly know me, I show up at one thirty in the morning, confess that my wife cheated on me, confess my love for you and you are still being nice to me. Most people would have told me to fuck off by now.” 
“Okay, first of all I am glad you came here, rather than wandering the streets drunk off your arse in the middle of the night. Secondly, we might not be close friends, but we have met enough times for me to care what happens to you. Third of all, I don’t know if your love confession is because you are drunk or not but if you remember it by the morning we can talk about it. Lucky for you I am one of the few people that wouldn’t have told you to fuck off.” You smiled at him. He nodded in return before settling down on the couch. 
“Night Andy.” You turned the light off as you walked away, hearing a small ‘night’ in return. 
*** 
When you woke up in the morning you remembered that you had Andy Barber sleeping on your couch. Quickly getting up and ready for the day, you made your way to the living room where you saw him pacing the floor. All the blankets were folded neatly and put at the end of the sofa. Andy hadn’t noticed you come in yet and he was still pacing. 
“Andy?” You asked quietly, so that you didn’t startle him. It didn’t work very well as he jumped slightly as the sound of your voice. 
“Y/N. Hi” he breathed. He was clearly nervous, and you couldn’t work out if it were because he had no recollection of last night and he basically woke up in a strangers house, or if it was because he remembered enough from last night and was dreading the inevitable conversation. 
“I wanted to apologize.” Andy said. “I came he unannounced and uninvited at a ridiculous hour and I am sorry for that.” 
“You don’t have to be sorry Andy; you were in a right state last night and I am glad you came here instead of doing something you would of regretted.” I empathised with him. 
“It’s just, I didn’t know what else to do… you don’t want to hear about my problems.” He sat down from pacing, and you sat down next to him. 
“You can tell me Andy.” 
“I don’t have any family apart from Laurie and Jacob. When I found another man’s shirt under the bed along with her smelling of another man’s cologne, I had no one else to turn to. All my friends are Laurie’s, and I don’t want to have to put them in that position.” 
“I get that Andy. And I don’t blame you for not wanting to put your friends in between you two.” You took a second as you braced yourself for what you were going to ask next. “Do you remember what you told me last night?” You couldn’t look at him. 
“Yes.” 
“Did you mean it?” 
“Yes.” 
You looked up at him to find that his bright blue eyes were looking into you Y/E/C’s. 
“Now that I am sober I am going to tell you again. You are not going to avoid the question I ask this time.” He whispered. You could feel his breath on your face, it still smelt slightly like alcohol, but you could tell he was no longer drunk. 
“Y/N. I really like you. Do you have any feelings for me?”  
You nodded your head. 
“Words princess.” 
The nickname sent a shiver down your spine. 
“Yes. I do.” 
“I’m gonna kiss you now. If you don’t want me to, all you have to tell me is to stop.” He looked directly into your eyes as he leant forward even closer to you than he already was. 
You didn’t say anything as he brushed his lips against yours. He pulled away slightly evaluating your reaction before coming towards you again kissing you with much more force. 
He ran his tongue across your bottom lip, silently asking for entrance. You allowed him to slip his tongue into your mouth before yours started to dance with it. You wrapped your arms around his neck to bring him closer. His hands went to your hips and pulled you to sit on his lap. You kissed for what seemed like hours before you pulled apart. Both of you realising that oxygen was necessary. 
“God I have wanted to do that since the day I met you.” He confessed. He looked at you with vulnerability. 
“So have I Andy.” You had barely finished your sentences before his lips were on yours again. Kissing you with even more passion than before, he slid his hands under your thighs and lifted you up. He continued kissing you as he made his way to your bedroom.  
Once he entered, he laid you down on the bed, hovering over you as your mouths stayed connected. After a minute or two, Andy moved his lips down your neck, sucking on the sweet spot just below your ear, making you moan his name. 
“This doesn’t have to go any further than this sweetheart.” Andy reassured.  
“I want you Andy.” You whispered pulling Andy closer. You knew this was wrong, he was still married and had only caught his wife the night before, you didn’t even know if they were officially separated. Although, with Andy sucking on the skin of your neck, you couldn’t think clearly. Moving his lips down, you started moaning holding him by his hair. He sat up and pulled you up with him, he took his shirt of before lifting yours off as well.  
You weren’t wearing a bra, so your top half was completely exposed to him. You automatically moved your hands around your breasts, suddenly feeling self-conscious. However, he at once moved your hands and whispered a quiet “You’re beautiful” before laying you back down to remove your sleep shorts. You were now in your underwear, whilst Andy still had is trousers on. You moved your hands down and tugged at his trousers hinting at him to take them off. 
He understood what you wanted and wasted no time in taking them off. He hovered back over you, kissing up your legs on his way back up. Andy pressed a kiss to your clothed heat. Your breath shuddered as he did this and you lifted your head to see him smirking before repeating the action. 
Andy hooked his fingers in your panties before slowing removing them too. He moved back up and positioned his face back in front of your mound. “You ready Flower?” You let out a shaky breath at the nickname but answered with a small ‘yes’. That’s all Andy needed before he started eating you out like a starved man. Immediately you started moaning his name repeatedly. It didn’t take long for you to finish. The slight beard burn and Andy’s hands slowing rubbing you thighs is what sent you over the edge. You practically screamed Andy’s name as he carried on through you high.  
When you came down again you lifted your head back up and looked him in the eye as he crawled back up towards you. He kissed you hard again, teeth clashing and a mix of your release and saliva evidently present as you are desperate to be close to each other. You don’t even notice as he shimmies his boxers down his legs. You suddenly feel his hard length against your leg which causes your breathe to hitch for what seems like the hundredth time. Your lips parts but stay close together as you look into each other’s eyes.  
You feel him adjusting his cock and then slowly pushing into you. Your lips collide again, the kisses becoming sloppy as Andy waited a few minutes for you to get used to him. Eventually he moved. Slowly, moving in and out. 
“Harder, Andy please…” Your whispered breathlessly before moaning loudly. You hear him grunt as he picks up the pace. He moves his hands to cup your face and you wrap your legs around his waist. Loud moans of each other’s names and the banging of the headboard against the wall is all that can be heard in the room. Andy gets quicker and moves one of his hands down to your clit and starts rubbing it. 
“Cum for me Flower.” The name along with the hoarse sound of his voice sends you over the edge. Screaming his name repeatedly. Eventually, you come down from your second high of the morning he pulled out and released on your stomach shouting your name. Andy rolls off of you and lays next to you. He links his hand in yours as he looks over at you. Feeling his eyes on you, you turn your head. 
“That was…” He started. 
“Amazing? Yeah it was. But your married.” You sighed and looked away. Andy rolled on to his side and brought his hand to your cheek, gently tilting your head to face him. 
“Yes I am. I won’t be for much longer. You have nothing to feel bad about.” 
“You’re not going to try and work things out with Laurie?” You asked shocked. 
“I don’t think so no. It wasn’t a one-night thing for her. She had been cheating on me for months. I thought she was stressed with work, instead she was sleeping with someone else. For months I was buying her flowers, helping her out more, picking Jacob up from school, all to help her relax. In return she was using my kindness to hurt me. If she had a one-night stand then maybe, we could work something out. But now? No.” He confessed. 
“What about just now? Was that a one-time thing?” You asked. “I don’t want to be someone you used to get revenge on your wife.” You suddenly felt insecure. You couldn’t help the thoughts of being used. 
“I need you to hear me Y/N. I don’t want you to think I this was a one-time thing. Unless you don’t want this, then I’ll leave. I need you to know that I want you. Walking into your store was one of the best things that has happened to me recently.” 
You started tearing up slightly. “Of course, I want you Andy. I just don’t want to be a rebound or a revenge plan.” 
“I can assure you Flower that you are not a rebound or a revenge plan.” He smiled, thumb tracing over your lip. You gently kissed his thumb before leaning up and brushing your lips against his. 
*** 
For months, you kept your affair under wraps. Despite Andy’s constant promises that he was going to divorce Laurie, nothing ever happened. He kept telling you that he wanted to divorce her strategically, that he didn’t love her anymore and that he was just waiting for the right moment. 
However, it seemed like the ‘right moment’ never came.  
Apart from your secret rendezvous, you barely saw Andy. Every so often you would run into each other at the grocery store or outside the shop. But nothing more than a glance was ever exchanged.  
One day, you were finishing up in the shop and about to close when you heard the bell ring above the door. Turning around you spot Andy, although, before you are able to greet him you see a slightly shorter brunette woman standing next to him with her arm linked around his. Despite never meeting Laurie before you knew that she must be her. 
To make matters worse, she seemed really kind, and it took you a minute to stop feeling guilt for sleeping with her husband, reminding yourself that she cheated first. 
“Mr Barber, I was just about to close. What can I do for you.” You asked Andy. However, before he could respond Laurie jumped in. 
“Well, our anniversary is coming up and I just loved the arrangements you made for us before and had to come for myself.” Laurie said in a cheerful tone. You glanced one more time at Andy and noticed that compared to his wife, he looked utterly miserable. 
“Alright, so what kind of flowers were you thinking?” You asked her. Swallowing down the lump that had formed in your throat. 
“I think I’ll look around first. I noticed you have the meaning of each flower which is such a unique idea.” You nodded informing the seemingly happy couple that you had a few things to sort out in the back and that you would be with them in a minute. 
A you went through to the back room you couldn’t stop the tears flowing. You know that you had no right to be upset. You, after all, were the other woman. However, everything that Andy had told you over these last months, seemed to be empty words. Why else would he have brought his wife into your shop. 
You composed yourself and wiped your tears away. Checking yourself in a small mirror that you had hung on the wall. Luckily, the slight redness in your eyes could be explained away with tiredness. Going back out into the shop you saw the concerned look Andy you, but you chose to ignore it. Laurie had finished browsing and was waiting patiently by the counter.  
“So, I know it is a different idea but how do you think pink roses and lavender would go together?” Laurie asked you. You tried to envision it and if you were being honest, it would look amazing. It didn’t help that the meaning of the flowers were perfect happiness, for pink roses and loyalty and devotion for lavender.  
The whole bouquet would be a lie. But who were you to judge. So, you quietly agreed to make the arrangement for them and told them to come back the next day. You could tell that Andy had something to say but couldn’t say in in front of his wife, so they left the shop and left you to cry in peace. 
*** 
The next day, it was just Andy who picked up the flowers. You had decided overnight that you were going to end you affair with him. It hurt you to do so, but you knew it was the right thing to do. Never did you think you would be someone to get in between two people’s marriage. Thinking back now, you should’ve known he wouldn’t leave Laurie. They had a son together.  
As Andy walked into the shop he looked around first to make the place was empty, which it was, before walking over to you. He leaned down and pressed a kiss to you lips. As much as you wanted to push him away, you knew this could be the last kiss you shared with him. You wanted to be selfish. 
After what felt like hours he finally pulled away and cupped your face. 
“What’s wrong Honey Flower?” He asked you. He adopted the nickname for you one day after you told him it meant secret love. 
“We shouldn’t be doing this Andy.” You confessed.  
“Doing what?”  
“Doing this Andy. Being together.” you gestured between the two of you. “You’re married.” 
“I’m waiting for the right time Y/N.” 
“That’s what you always say. But just yesterday, I had to make an arrangement of flowers for your wife which means loyalty, devotion and perfect happiness. So, either the right moment hasn’t come yet, and you are continuing to lie to her, or you’re lying to me and actually trying to fix your marriage.” 
“Y/N I wouldn’t lie to you. Jacob told her about this place, and I had to bring her. I don’t want Jacob to get involved in all this.” 
“He’s going to get involved in it all Andy. His parents are both cheating on one another.”  
“Can’t you just trust me to pick the right time?” 
“I have been waiting months Andy. The longer I wait, the more I realise that actually, if you and Laurie don’t work out, it’s going to me my fault. I hate to be the one to say this Andy, but you can’t have both of us anymore. It nearly killed me watching her in here with you yesterday. As much as I love you, I have to protect myself too.” You took a deep breath and looked directly into his eyes. “I don’t expect you to choose me over your wife, your family. But if you do choose her please stay away from here.” 
“Y/N. I don’t want to lose you. I can’t lose you. Please.” Andy had tears streaming down his face. 
“Then divorce Laurie. This is all I have ever asked of you Andy. All I want is to have you without being the other woman. I love you so please. Please just choose.” You were choking on your own tears. 
“I don’t, I can’t… I” He stuttered. You nodded your head. He had been mummering empty promises to you along with the sweet nothings for months. He had long enough to make his decision. 
“Please leave. I’ll have the flowers delivered. Free of charge. Just please go.” You pleaded with him. 
“Honey Flower.” You shook your head. “Y/N don’t leave me.” You nearly broke at that. You wanted nothing more than to wrap your arms around him. But you knew you had to stand your ground. 
“You need to go.” You told him before turning round and walking into the back. You didn’t come out again until you heard the bell above the door ring and then the deafening silence. 
*** 
It had been four months since you broke it off with Andy. And it shattered your heart. You had had a few partners overtime and obviously you had separated from all of them, but none of them caused a pain like the one you were feeling now. 
You tried to carry on and take one day at a time. You would open the florist, go grocery shopping, meet up with  your parents every week. It helped that they didn’t know you were dating Andy, so you could blame you low mood on tiredness. Night times were reserved for crying. Hours upon hours of sobbing until you couldn’t anymore. 
Your mind was constantly on Andy. Did he mend his marriage? Did he think about you? Did he forget about you? What was he doing? Would he be happy to see you if you went back to him?  
You decided that all these questions didn’t matter anymore. He wasn’t yours; he never was. In fact, he probably was never going to be even if you didn’t end it. 
You were shopping for a new dress. You decided that in order to get over Andy, you needed to pick yourself up and start going out more. You were going to a bar with one of your friends, not that you had many in Newton. They decided that it had been too long since you went out. They didn’t know about you and Andy, however, you told them that you were seeing someone, and it didn’t work out. You told them that they wouldn’t know him and as heart breaking as it was, you weren’t at the stage where you would meet the family when you called it quits. 
You knew telling them parts of the truth, rather than lying was better for you mental health. At that precise moment, you need all the support you could get.  
So, there you were, shopping for a dress suitable for a night out when for the first time in a month, you caught a glimpse of the man that still owned your heart. To start with you forgot how to breath. Until, however, your cruel mind worked you started to feel a bit better. He looked terrible. A sick part of you hoped that it was because he was missing you. That he still needed you in his life. But the rational part of your brain knew that it could also be a case on which he was working. That his misery had nothing to do with you and that he had worked things out with Laurie and decided not to split his family up. 
You quickly turned your head and carried on. You could feel his eyes on you, and it took everything in you not to go to him. Soon enough, you felt his presence leave and you moved on still looking for a dress. You were glad your friend was taking you out for a drink because damn if you needed it now more than ever. 
*** 
That night you were sitting at the bar, talking with your friend about the shop and what else was going on in both of your lives. They were just discussing their job as an assistant to some lawyer. You were only half listening whilst chewing on the straw that came with your drink.  
You look up for a second and you see him again. It was honestly typical. You hadn’t seen him in four weeks and suddenly you see him twice in one day. It doesn’t take long for him to see you, but he never comes over. He just orders a beer and has a quiet drink.  
Eventually, you friend nips to the toilet and Andy sees this as the perfect opportunity to talk to you. He doesn’t talk for a minute, so you turned you attention back to your drink. 
“I got a divorce.” His hoarse voice makes you jump. It reminds you of the past-sex haze the two of you shared. He would talk in the same voice. You just looked at him for a second before looking down again. 
“I am so sorry I hurt you. I should have gotten one sooner.” He confessed. 
“You did what you had to do.” You muttered. 
“Look Y/N. I’m gonna be honest with you, I wasn’t ready for a divorce when we were together. And I am so sorry I lied to you about it. I miss you Honey Flower.”  
Your heart fluttered at the nickname. “I miss you too Andy.” You chuckled a little before looking at him. He had moved even closer to you. 
“Is there any chance of you wanting to give us a go? Properly this time. No more hiding, no more keeping secrets. You and me going on dates and having a real relationship.” Andy asked a glimmer of hope in his eyes. Before you has the chance to answer you friend came back. 
“Sorry I took so long, but the person in there before me really… oh hey Andy. What are you doing here?” They asked him.  
“Hi. I was just asking your friend out on a date. Just waiting to see if she’ll accept.” The double meaning didn’t escape your notice.  
“Yeah I think we could do that.” You answered. Your eyes never leaving his. 
“Well, I’ll leave you two to it then.” Your friend grinned before leaving you and Andy alone. The minute they were gone Andy reached out and grabbed your hand.  
“Shall we?” he asked. You nodded and he tugged you up before leaning into your ear. “We have a lot to catch up on.” He whispered seductively before dragging you out of the bar.  
*** 
A year and a half later the two of you were engaged to be married. Everyone knew about the two of you and Jacob had officially met you as his Dad’s girlfriend-now-fiancé. You were delighted when he accepted you seeing as you were so nervous, and he even told you that he had never seen his Dad happier. 
One morning about two months after you and Andy moved in together, you were sitting hunched up over the toilet. Andy had heard you get up and then heard you retching. He rushed to your side and moved you hair out of the way whilst rubbing your back. You counted back and realised that you missed your last two periods. Without a word to Andy, you stood up and went back to the bedroom. 
Finding your phone, you opened your app which confirmed that you had missed you period. Twice. Andy came through behind you with a shocked and confused look on his face. 
“What’s wrong Flower?” You could hear the worry in his voice. You didn’t say anything but turned your phone around. “I’ll be back soon.” Was all he said before pulling on some trousers and walking out. Leaving you confused and slightly hurt. 
True to his word, he came back twenty minutes later with five pregnancy tests. He had also stopped off downstairs and grabbed a glass of water for you. Grabbing the tests, you went to the bathroom and took them. You then joined Andy back in the bedroom and set a timer. You just sat in Andy’s arms whilst you waited. 
When it was time, you walked back to the bathroom and checked the tests. 
 All of which were positive. You and Andy were having a baby.  
You showed him the tests and he scooped you up in his arms. Once he put you down you pushed him on the bed, climbing on top of him you grinned.  
“I think this calls for a celebration. Don’t you think?” You asked him flirtatiously.  
“Definitely.” He whispered before pulling you down. He captured your lips in his as he gently started to caress your body. He moved his hands to your thighs then up to your arse. As he began to massage it you quietly moaned into his mouth causing him to smirk. Before you knew it he had flipped you both around and removed your sleep shorts and underwear. You then reached to his bottoms wanting to take them off, but Andy moved down. 
He started toying with your clit and landed soft kisses on the tops of your thighs. Slowly moving his way up, he replaces the tip of his fingers with his tongue. As much as you love him eating you out, you needed more in that moment. Quickly, you tugged Andy up by his hair and attacked his mouth with yours, tasting yourself on his tongue.  
“Eager I see?” Andy comments when you break to take a breath.  
“Oh, hush you.” You reached down and grabbed his already rock-hard length. Moving your hand up and down your position him at your entrance. He quickly takes the hint and pushes in. No matter how many times you two partook in this activity, it always felt like the first time. The burn of the stretch and the overwhelming feeling of fullness that you felt.  
The feeling only Andy can provide you with.  
You wrapped your hands around him, dragging your fingernails down his back. Making sure to leave marks. You slowly started thrusting your hips to meet his slow pace. You knew this was not fucking. This was making love. He was showing you how much he loved you. 
“Can you believe it. Our child is inside of you. Do you have any idea what that does to me.” Andy panted as he sped his thrusts up even more. 
“Fuuuckkk.” You moaned in response. ‘I love you’s and ‘you feel so good’s were shared between you as Andy carried on. You felt your climax bubbling in your stomach, but you tried to hold it. Never wanting the moment to end. 
“I know your close Flower, cum for me.” Andy whispered in your ear. 
“Not without you.” You managed to say back before a loud moan interrupted you. 
“I’m with you sweetheart. Come on cum with me. That’s it.” Andy moved his hand down he rubbed your clit at the perfect pace. Just enough to get you over the edge. Gripping onto him, you felt the comforting feeling of his natural paint decorating your insides. You both moaned in unison before Andy collapsed to the side of you, conscious of the little bean now growing inside of you. You turned to face him, caressing his beard as you both caught your breath. His piercing blue eyes looking into yours. You both fell asleep that night, excited for your lives together, lives started by your little flower shop. 
*
Chris Evans' Characters Taglist:
@hehehehannahthings
@bval-1
@dietmountainhoneydew
@tenaciousperfectionunknown
@cevansgurl
@gwenebear
@princess-baby18
@ccmarvelxx
@slutforchrisjamalevans
@mechixx
@booklover2622
@1-800-captain-insano
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dark--whisperings · 4 months
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16 and 17 because I am a nosy bitch! :D
Response for this ask game!
😜😜😜
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16. What’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever used as a bookmark?
... my cell phone. LMAO. And then I promptly forgot where I put my phone, and spent a while looking for it.
Weirdly enough, I don't usually use a bookmark! I typically just memorize which page I'm on... chaotic, I know. I'm the definition of ✨chaos✨.
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17. Talk to me about the minutiae of your current WIP. Tell me about the lore, the history, the detail, the things that won’t make it in the text.
OOOOH I LOVE THIS ONE. Again, I'm going to talk about 'Suffocate Me (I'm Still Breathing)'. Originally, this was to be written as a one shot, intended to satisfy my craving for Obi-Wan Kenobi, the mess(TM). Because I love me an Obi-Wan that is a hot mess. However, the more I started writing it, the more I started leaning into a deeper exploration of the mind of an addict and someone struggling with an untreated mental illness. What was intended to be dark and gritty, became dark and gritty and real. It became less about the more emphatic depictions of mental health and addiction that you see in the media, and more focused on the subtleties of the experience, ones that often go unnoticed.
When I started following this train of thought with this fic, I was really focused on the experience of the Clone Wars, and Star Wars in general. In this universe, shit is majorly fucked up. Everyone knows it, but we don't really delve into how the characters are affected by the atrocities that they experience daily. Instead, war is glorified. And, I think this really reflects the kinds of thing that get swept under the rug and overlooked by those who aren't experiencing it.
Which is why I really wanted to focus on Obi-Wan, and his experience. Time and time again, he's been hit with terrible loss and experiences that will change him forever. But he's become a notable hero in the galaxy. And by nature, he's the type of man that refuses to seek help when he needs it. Not because he perceives others needing help as a weakness. No, he only sees himself needing support as something to be ashamed of, because he's started to view himself as a tool to bring about change in the galaxy. I firmly believe that by the time the Clone Wars really started to ramp up, that he lost his sense of self, which leads him down a really dark path, one he walks alone.
So we have this struggling man, desperately wishing someone would notice what's going on, because he's learned that he can't verbalize this himself. Pair that with everyone else having put him on a pedestal, because acknowledging that their hero-like figure needs help means they have to acknowledge the fallacies of their own realities and perspectives... it's kind of the perfect storm.
All in all, I just really wanted to explore the silent struggle that many people fight on a daily basis, in contrast with a more overt struggle (that someone like Anakin experiences, for example).
*takes a breath*
Wow, that was a rambling stream of thought. 😅😅😅
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Keep 'em coming!
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absurdmageart · 2 years
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I adore your writing so much! You make all the characters seem so alive and it's just really amazing! You've really inspired me to get back into writing after years and all your updates give me so much happiness :D Do you have any tips for making characters alive and grounded? I really struggle with that so any knowledge you wish to share? :)
Thank you! I'm really glad you like it! As for knowledge hmm...
Character flaws are your best friend. I know that seems weird since why would you want someone to be flawed but that's what makes them relatable. It helps us connect with them because we're flawed as well. There's no such thing as a perfect person! It's the good qualities that come out around those flaws that make people endeared towards them. For example...
Black's kind of an asshole. He's snappy, blunt and he will absolutely call you an idiot at the drop of a hat, however every so often, you'll see that sadness he hides inside alongside the infinite kindness he holds. It might not even be directed at you but at someone else like Wolf but it'll show you that there's a gentleness inside him.
Giving the reader a reason to connect with the character is important. They need some sort of struggle something they can overcome or learn about themselves that in turn also endear them to us. Having someone have no struggle, nothing that makes them upset isn't going to have any reader interested. No one wants to read about the perfect character who never messes up or is never upset/just accepts everything going on around them, at least in my opinion. For example...
Money has demons in his past. He's quite ashamed of these. It's not so much the fact that he's a recovering drug addict but more how he'd treat Vi. He keeps that hidden and is so ashamed of himself to the point that it makes him sick. Accepting these things, talking to Vi and overcoming gives you something to root for even if it's small.
When I write a character or create one (Paradox, Rook, Akzidenz), I think of myself. I know that might sound odd but bear with me. I think could I have this flaw? Is it plausible? Does it make sense? Then I work out why they have this flaw in the first place.
Rook's hatred of humans comes from trauma in his past. When the humans in the tiny village he grew up in thought he stole food when he hadn't. They cornered him, dragged him to the ground, and carved the word R O O K into his fingers stating that he was nothing but a petty pathetic thief just like the bird. These humans were ignorant and it left him scared as well as bitter.
Paradox's manner of speech comes from a repeated head injury he suffered at the hands of Requiem (Wingdings, Sans and Papyrus's father). It's not something he was born with, it's something he acquired. This has also left him blunt and oftentimes, emotionless when talking to others.
Akzidenz is kind but oftentimes hesitates to lean on others or gets nervous when letting others help him. He takes on a lot and will work even when injured for fear of being replaced. This comes from the fact that at the age of twelve, Akzi spent his teen years in a foster home after both his Grandfather and Great Aunt died. Which instilled fears of having to be good or perfect or else he'd be sent elsewhere.
I think of how I'd react to those situations or how things might go for me then I put it into writing. Not everything is me of course as they are their own beings but sometimes putting a little of yourself into your characters can go a long way.
Quite a few of the Mage's Main 14 have pieces of me inside them, most notably,
Vi, Black, Coffee, Wolf, Stretch and Money.
That may seem odd but it helps me develop them into their own person. The others also have bits of me but those above I would say have the most.
Relationships are also important. Don't think of how others write the relationships between two characters. Write them how you want to. Think about how you interact with other people not what you think people want to read. It'll come easier to you or I hope it does!
And that's about all I can think of at the moment! I wish you luck!
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jerzwriter · 1 year
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(The first paragraph sounds like I'm judging, but I swear I’m not! I’ll explain better in the next one.)
I saw you said, “I couldn’t do that to them.” Meaning you couldn’t have Tobias and Casey not getting a happy ending together. And we’ve seen Ethan losing the girl more than once, sometimes is for some years, sometimes is forever. And, unlike Casey and Tobias, in some stories someone better for them does come along in time. In no way I’m judging YOUR decisions on YOUR story based on YOUR character.
But this is the perception I have from your work. T&C is the “fairytale” couple who always gets their happy ending, they love each other in every universe and there’s no one better for them than each other. While E&K/C feels more like a normal couple who can broke up/separate, find someone else and move on, or not, they can also find their way back to each other.
And there’s nothing wrong with it. I take it the same way of having T&C portraying the “big happy family” and E&K/C portraying the “small happy family”. Different approaches to different people.
That's why it makes me curious to know if this is made deliberate or just something your mind does unconsciously, and it jumps into your writing?
Because we know fucked up people tend to fuck up things more in life. And we know Ethan is the perfect example for that, given his complexity. So if someone is going to often lose love it makes sense it’s not the man with two loving parents, rich, handsome, with charm and a good heart.
And it’s something I admire from your stories, HC or AU, the characters tend to stay in the same spectrum of their personality. I think that’s why I see things this way? Like a collection of Ethans and Tobiases lol following a pattern of conducts. Hence my question! It's this something that just happened or you made it this way for a reason?
I hope this made sense :)
Ah, Nonny. I wish we could meet up someplace with a cup of coffee (tea for me) and a couple cookies and talk about love and all that goes with it for hours. I can go on and on about it.
The truth is love is a dangerous game. It shouldn't be, but it is. The greatest highs, the lowest lows... and precious few emerge unscathed. That's kind of OK, though, because I think it's from those scars that we learn who we are, who we want to be, and who we want to be with IF we want to be with anyone (because it's not a requirement).
None of my pairings will ever be permanently separated in my headcanons for them. That's where each is the other's perfect match, their soulmate, their forever. Not bringing irreparable sadness there.
In AUs, anything is game. The only time I permanently ended Tobias/Casey was in Till I See You Again, where Casey died. But it's not to say I never would. Although, after living through the after-effects of "hurting" a pairing, the idea of one couple being the one that will fall in love and stay together in any world is appealing to me. (Hi @liaromancewriter), even if I don't necessarily believe in this concept in real life.
I think all of us are a little broken. Tobias is not perfect, either. Sure, he had parents who modeled a loving relationship, but sometimes their relationship was so all-encompassing he felt like an outsider, even as a young child. Then there was the racial dynamics. Tobias didn't feel his father did enough to understand what it meant to be black in America. He certainly didn't think he did enough to understand what it was like for Tobias to grow up in our society, and he felt he tried to whitewash him. This led to their estrangement, and they didn't get to fully heal before his father's untimely death. His younger brother resented Tobias terribly at the time. He felt he left him to carry much of the burdens of the family alone, and he borderline hated Tobias for a bit, thinking he hurt their father and he had to die feeling that pain. All of this led to him making some seriously fucked up choices and could have permanently derailed any relationship.
Kaycee/Casey is really the most together - two loving parents who doted on her and supported her every step of the way. She has a secure base and knows she is loved unconditionally. Yet, her mother suffered a long-term illness and nearly died, and that had lifelong effects on K/C. She also had insecurities that did not stem from her family life which did impact some choices she made and could have derailed things easily.
Now let's jump out of OH land and go to WTD-land. Eli & Zoe are literally living in a zombie apocalypse. They've seen/experienced loss and horrors most of us can only imagine. The "broken-ness" is REAL for both, even though they process it very differently. Yet, in my mind, when they come together, they cherish what they share even more than others because of what they've endured. They know it's a precious gift, and they're going to fight for it. Beyond that, they love each other, scars and all, because there is an understanding. We've been through hell, it's impacted who we are, but I still love you completely. In some ways, it's the purest love of any pairing I have.
Ethan had his struggles, he had his damage for sure, but I don't think it's anything insurmountable. It only is when Ethan refuses to acknowledge it and move forward. Where he fights rather than accepts. I think there is so much beauty in his character because of the broken parts that are put back together so beautifully. In some worlds (DTI), he comes to a place of healing through terrible decisions and painful loss. In others (like HC), he comes to the same place through patience and love. But he is worthy of love, and I hope I always make that clear.
I truly love all of my pairings, I just love them in different ways, because they're so unique.
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dogicrimsonofficial · 8 months
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Shade Slayers - Harley Softpad
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Harley was often considered the softest of the Shade Slayers resident, permanent workers. It had only little to do with the fact that he was a tundra, and thus fluffier than most when taking on his draconic form - though he was perfect example of a friendliness tundras stereotypically had. It also had only little to do with the fact that he was the one looking after the communal sleeping quarters, and only a little to do with the fact that he was their best healer.
No, it had to do with the fact that he simply did not shout or snip at people, no matter how rude, irresponsible, or disrespectful. He merely smiled, proceeded with their business like normal, wished them a good day and happy travels.
Dragons - hunters and visiting commoners alike - considered him a spineless softie who was easy to walk over, too nice to get angry at you, too dumb to get he was being insulted.
That was why some got a little too brazen with him. Tried to haggle for better arrangements or payments. Tried to slink away without compensation. Attempted to sling an insult that would fly under the radar.
In most cases, they'd be right - Harley simply was too nice to get angry. That wasn't to say that he didn't, oh he got angry plenty often. It was just that no one could tell when it happened.
Except when they could.
"So, mister..."
"Talonstrike," the banescale muttered, wincing a little as the bandages were pulled tighter. "You sure you can't use any magic for this? You're a licensed healer, right?"
"Oh no no no," the tundra smiled, patting the bandaged wound with that small, friendly smile of his. "A big, strong, important dragon such as yourself, needing help from a tundra of all things? Perish the thought! I would not wish that kind of shame on you!"
Talonstrike wrinkled his nose, and narrowed his eyes down, staring daggers at the tundra. He was going to-
A shadow fell over him. And suddenly, he started to rethink what he was going to do, as a massive, looming form of Lula stood above them.
Damn this tundra and his amazonian wife.
We got Harleys scry - I actually finished it a lil while ago, but I had hard time figuring out what kind of story to write up. Feverish ministory was a go!
Harley, as you see, is the inn-keeper and healer, and is the husband for Lula. I love those two, and I can't wait to show you guys Lula (as soon as her scries are done, she's being designed by one of my friends :3)
Sadly Harleys breeding has to wait, we're officially doing 7 projects atm (which is almost half of the current planned dragons), 5 of those being organized by me :'D I don't have the spoons to keep track more of more than that sadly.
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classicschronicles · 2 years
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Hi lovelies,
So I was at work the other day, minding my business, when one of the kids there went, “Can I tell you about Satyrs?”. Naturally, I started panicking because it’s not a savoury story and I have no clue why this seven-year-old even knew about them, or how on earth I was meant to explain that to their parents later. Luckily the version they regaled was the PG one, but today I thought I’d write about the story behind Satyrs.
The Satyrs (Roman name- Fauna) were spirits of fertility, often compartmentalised with nymphs and were the companions of Dionysus. Satyrs were depicted as animalistic/ uncouth men with asinine horselike ears, snubbed noses, the tail of a horse, and erect phalli. As companions of Dionysus, they were often depicted as the perfect image of Dionysian excess (i.e. they were shown drinking, dancing, and associating with Maenads). The depiction of Satyrs changed from having equine-like features to features resembling a donkey during the Hellenistic period, which is why we have different interpretations of them. (Side note, the same kid also offered to draw a Satyr but with the whole erect phallus thing, it did not go down well).
The reason for two different presentations, and indeed names, has been explained by two rivalling theories. The first theory is that Silenus was the Asian-Greek name and the mainland name was Satyr (i.e. two names for the same mythical creature). The other theory proposes that the Sileni were part horse beings and that Satyrs were the part goat being. It is, however, important to note that neither of these theories fits all the examples of Satyrs in early literature and art. The name Silenus was used in reference to Dionysus’ foster father, which helps to explain the absorption of Sileni and Satyrs into the Dionysiac cult.
Within art, Satyrs are frequently depicted as wreaking havoc by attacking women and performing lewd tricks with wine cups. They could, however, be of use when Dionysus set them to work making wine. In myths, Satyrs are wine-loving, wild men, but also highly intelligent beings.
Okay, this next bit is a little confusing so bear with me. The most famous Satyr in literature is named Silenus. I know that earlier I said that ‘Silenus’ was a type of Satyr, but I’ll be honest, no one is sure if the use of the name is to refer to one Satyr or a type of Satyr, so if you see the name Silenus just pay attention to the context so you know which one is being talked about.
Silenus, the famous Satyr, was the tutor of Dionysus and was considered the father of all Greek Satyrs. Silenus was once captured by King Midas after Midas found Silenus in his rose garden after suffering a hangover from the night before. In another version, Midas purposefully set a trap for the Silenus so that he could gain some of the knowledge he was famed for possessing. Whether by luck or fate, Silenus spent five days in the company of Midas and imparted a fair amount of his knowledge. The king, grateful for his newfound knowledge, returned the Satyr to Dionysus and granted him a wish. Midas, famed for his greed, wished for a hand of gold so that everything he touched would turn to gold- and we all know the rest of this story.
Whilst Satyrs do play a part in many myths and legends, they are often backgrounded characters, and so other than Silenus there aren’t very many famous Satyrs. Unless of course, we count Rick Riordan’s Grover (<3). And there you have it, a quick rundown on the Satyr. I hope you all enjoyed this story, and I hope no more children ask me if they can draw lewd mythological creatures on my whiteboard! Enjoy your weekend!
~Z
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egg-emperor · 2 years
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Favorite voice actor for Eggman?
It might not seem like a very original choice when choosing both because they're the only two english voices in the games but considering all the different voices Eggman has had in other things, I'm only picking two out of the many. Anyway I can't ever choose between Deem Bristow and Mike Pollock!
I first heard both around the same time through Heroes, X, and Shadow 2005, and eventually went back to the older games to appreciate Deem's work in Adventure and SA2. I can't choose between them because they're both special voices to me, I have tons of fond memories and nostalgia with both, and they played a part in the many reasons I came to adore the character. Hearing both never fails to bring me joy and entertain more than any other English actors for the character.
Deem Bristow's Eggman is a delight, I love how energetic and theatric he was. His exaggerated pronunciations and emphasis of the simplest words and sentences is so funny and charming. I also like his quieter calmer speaking voice, as hard as it can be to hear where he uses it most in SA2 with music blasting over him lol. Listening to the clean audio though is beautiful, when he talks lower and quieter like that and makes threats with that tone, it makes me shiver hfjfjxbsndkgkdnhk 🥴
I also love how he has the perfect villain voice that really suits him, Eggman would constantly sound sinister no matter what he was saying. Deem delivered the angry threats and chilling darker moments brilliantly but Eggman would even say his casual lines for the menus and options and such so evilly too and it makes some of the lines that would sound innocent from any other character sound so ominous coming from him and I adore it. XD Man so evil his voice is evil too hfjdbskgksng
You could hear how much of a blast Deem had and how much he got into it and it's great, it emphasized how much fun Eggman has being evil too. It also made him sound funny and silly at times, they achieved the balance of evil and humor without even having to write jokes. There were other great actors in the cast but none performed quite like Deem, he stole the show and made every scene he was in. He gave Eggman the best English voice possible and no others before and after have come close in my eyes, aside from liking Mike Pollock's take equally.
I love Mike Pollock's take equally because he was a pretty solid soundalike at the beginning of X and hearing the progress of him gradually changing up his voice into his own thing from episode four and onwards was great. The peaks and valleys of his voice that were inspired by Jiminy Glick is really entertaining and once again suits Eggman and his energy. His range of pitch and tone makes him great for both humorous light-hearted moments and serious and evil ones when his voice can lower and get gruffer for it.
I like the unique gruffness that immediately slips into expertly and can record with for hours and how it's impossible to accurately replicate. Not to say Deem's being easier to replicate means it didn't take as much talent and effort, it's just that it fascinates me. People don't recognize the skill and undermine it when they say it's just Mike talking with his normal speaking voice, they're just used to hearing him sometimes use his natural voice in Boom. Listen to Langston Lickatoad in Viva Pinãta, where they wanted his actual voice and you'll see what I mean.
Game Eggman really isn't the same, he's much gruffer and older sounding lol. The voice suits his age but also how energetic and fun he is despite it. Mike can deliver both perfect funny Eggman moments and a brilliantly threatening evil ones, my favorite examples of the latter yet have to be Unleashed and Sonic and Tails R but it's always great. I love it when he gets really aggressive and angry and dark and I wish they'd allow for him to do it more often. He can be really charming and funny but also evil and threatening and chilling and all of it brings me joy 🥰💜
I couldn't help but ramble but anyway yeah I could never choose between Deem Bristow and Mike Pollock. And for me, no other English actor in any other media can even come close to them for all that they've done for the character, they really brought him to life and helping shape him into the perfect entertaining and lovable character he is in the games! 💕
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