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stvrmwitch · 7 years

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Questions Tag!

Thanks to @the-fandom-potato, @onepage-atatime, @howlsmovinglibrary, and @twobrokegirlswithbooks for tagging me way back in the ice age. I’m finally dethawed and ready to do this!

So to make this simpler (or perhaps more complicated ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ time will tell), I’m changing up the format.

I’m going to now tag a bunch of people, and instead of me creating 11 new questions in four separate posts, you pick 11 from this list to answer. Under the cut I’ll be answering them all, so woof if you’re scrolling through my blog on mobile!

Tagging: @phoebzreadz, @pugs-n-books, @books-on-the-brain, @thebookrose, @cinnasbooks, @potionsandplants, @theboookowl, @quillbit-reads, @bookswithmichelle, @ravenclawlovestyrells, @veinslikefeathers, @thehungrylittlebookworm, @bookspectre, @heretherebebooks, @the-knights-who-say-book, @devilsmoonlightstroll, @sonderreads, @arkynn, @mermaidchasingbooks

I tried to mix in some new (and new-ish) followers, so hey y’all! If you’re tagged and not interested, no worries! If you’re not tagged and are interested, have at it friends!

Actual rules: always post the rules, answer the questions given to you, write 11 questions of your own, tag 11 people

Not entirely sure why but I alphabetized these but...

A book with a beautiful cover?

When Dimple Met Rishi -that cover makes my day whenever I see it!

A book you would love to see transformed into movie?

Hmmm. So many options. The one I’m obsessed most with at the moment is Ramona Blue. It’d make the perfect summer indie flick. All you need is a cast of young unknown actors because it’s a quiet story in the way that no one is really meant to pull focus.

A book you’ve read in the past two weeks?

Mockingbird, Vol 1: My Feminist Agenda

A fantasy world you would like to live in?

Harry Potter is such an obvious choice, but I love it.

A magical animal you would love to own?

Mer-goshdarn-corgi.

A movie that you wish had a different ending?

Bend It. Like. Beckham. SHOULDA BEEN G A Y

A skill you wish you possessed?

Literally any skills. I’m a dud of a human.

Best book crushes?

n/a

Day or night?

Morning????

Do you have a favorite mythological person or creature?

I do not!

Do you have a most owned book? (lots of editions of the same book)

Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone. Someday it will probably be me owning every edition of “The Importance of Being Earnest” which yes is a play not a ~book~ but still counts

Do you have any favourite bands or songs?

Little Mix (and their entire catalogue) is a staple atm.

Do you prefer science fiction or fantasy? (Neither?)

Science fiction!

Favorite genre of music?

??? Pop?? Rock??? That Indie Sound™????? Showtunes??

Favorite reading place?

I read the most at work, oddly enough

Favorite stand-alone book?

We Are Okay

Favourite booklr platform?

I’m not actually sure what this means tbh

Favourite genre for Winter?

Science fiction

Favourite genre?

Science fiction

Favourite reading weather?

Dark sky, light rain

Hardbacks or paperbacks?

paperbacks

Hogwarts house?

hiss hiss motherfuckers

If you collect something, what is it?

Books and debt.

If you could dress up as any character from books or other fiction (not taking actual costume making skills into account), who would you choose to dress up as?

I’m torn between Furiosa and Willy Wonka. There’s no inbetween.

If you could have any magical power, what would it be?

Teleportation

If you could rewrite any book, how would you change it and why?

Oh sweet niblets, there’s so many frustrating books that I correct as I go. Though for the most part it’s never as bad as wanting to fully rewrite it. I absolutely feel that way about Stranger Than Fanfiction though. It had such potential and was a letdown at every level. It’s not plotted well, characterization is weak, there are shitty tropes. And at first it’s like maybe they’re being set up for the sole purpose of being subverted but nope. Just a bad book. IMO of course.

If you had the chance to become the ‘chosen one’/hero of an epic story, would you take it? (PHENOMENAL COSMIC POWER vs. weight of the world on your shoulders/potential for extreme trauma).

Um, I mean no?? Like forced into it, ok. But would I go up and volunteer for that shit? Hell no. I’m so content to follow another’s lead on that. Like I’ll be ur sidekick character!!!

If you had to only read one author, who would it be?

Based solely on Strange the Dreamer, I’d say Laini Taylor. STrange is not nearly gay enough (is anything really??) but she’s got a great feel for character and pace.

If you play games (video, board, etc.), what’s your favorite one?

I still play the Sims when I’m in a Big Depressive Mood, and Tomb Raider is life to me. So those are my favorite two, though I don’t play a lot anyhow.

Least favourite book trope?

Young girls falling for their crusty ass male professors.

Recent favourite book/series?

When Dimple Met Rishi was a perfect summer read (though I still actually have like 50 pages to go rip me)

Tea or coffee?

#TeamHotCocoa

What character would you vote for to be president?

President of what? My fan club?? Jon Snow.

What fictional creature would you want to be your animal companion?

That little thievin’ ass platypus from Fantastic Beasts. Like we’d be villains but like. Robin Hooding it.

What is your favourite TV show/film?

Guy Ritchie at some point became my favorite director and The Man from UNCLE - tragically doomed to never get a sequel - is my fave movie. Ep for ep, Quantico is my favorite show.

What is your favourite dessert?

Fried ice cream

What is your ‘comfort food’ book, for whenever you’re ill/sad/tired etc?

Don’t quite have one. I turn to film and tv for that -usually Brooklyn Nine-Nine.

What movie is actually better than the book?

I’ve made the argument for Divergent a few times, which still stands but to change it up I’ll say Big Fish. The visual elements really capture the whimsy and wonder of that world.

Where is your favourite reading place?

As mentioned above, I like reading at work. I somehow pay more attention when I’m forced to read in intervals.

Which character/author would you make president?

This is also answered above and more seriously, I’d want Agnieszka from Uprooted in that kind of leadership role, because her concern with power is non-existent but she acts out of desire to protect all people. Plus she’s not here for your bullshit.

Which decade interests you the most?

Depends on what for really. 90s nostalgia because that’s when I grew up. 50s for fashion because what a damn look all the damn time. Um idk I like the music that came out of the 70s, but not much more than any later decade. All around, the current decade interests me the most because I have the most human rights within it. So there’s that.

Who is your favorite author?

Neil Gaiman maybe?? I’m bad at choosing one favorite thing.

Would you rather compete in The Hunger Games or The TriWizard Tournament?

Uh my pal I’m gonna go with the one where everyone is supposed* to come out alive on the other side.

*rip ceddie

You walk through a wardrobe, and you find yourself in a completely other world on the other side. Which world would you want to be in?

Wlw utopia. Nothing but wlw and smol animals. If you mean a pre-established fictional world, then let’s go with San Junipero. Like I wanna be where the immortal wlw are! I wanna see, wanna see them dancing!!!

#whoops belated #long post #sorry if you've already done this and i tagged u #tag game #times 4

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garden-of-succulents · 7 years

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I've taken some time to think over and process recent criticisms that people have made of me. Thank you to everyone for being patient while I took this time to reflect--I think that a brief review of my behaviour in the past has shown that I often respond poorly and clumsily in the heat of the moment, and these conversations benefit when I give them the thought and effort they deserve.

I am responding to people whose direct responses to me, or public commentary, seemed to indicate they wanted some sort of response from me. I hope I've addressed everyone; please let me know if I've missed anyone. I have also, as was requested, cleared out my OMGCP-related blocklist.

Briefly, about that: I have, in the past, blocked people for two main reasons. The first is that they're producing fannish content (fic, art, or meta) that triggers my anxiety, which my body reacts very poorly to; the other is that I have disagreed with them about something, but know that they are significantly younger/less privileged than I am, and blocking is one of the tools I use to make sure I don't impulsively strike up an unfair argument about something unimportant.

I would like to apologize for the distress and insult my blocking users caused them; it was not intended. I have been investigating ways to curate my online experience to what I can manage with mental health that varies from day to day, with less of a negative effect on other people and maintains their ability to draw my attention to important conversations.

Although I believe listening to criticism is important, especially on topics where I am privileged or ignorant, this is something I have to balance with my mental and physical health; I have to carefully budget time and energy to engage with it when I am capable of thinking clearly and deeply. Sometimes I'm able to seek out and read criticism, but sometimes I'm not. I miss conversations or misunderstand peoples' points. I know this is frustrating to people who do not have the luxury of ignoring or escaping these issues in their daily lives, and I'm sorry.

On a practical note, I am taking pains to make sure that people can contact me through my des-zimbits account, but I should make clear that unfortunately, I cannot accept anon messages and I am very unpredictable about seeing things written on blogs I do not follow; my friends are not in the habit of telling me about criticism made by third parties. There have been times that I only found out long after the fact that someone has put enormous amounts of time and energy into critiquing my behaviour on their blog, and become upset that I have not responded or changed. In those circumstances, I never saw the original posts in the first place. I don't have a complete solution for this, but I encourage people to tag me or message me a post they think I should see; if you don't want to deal with me thereafter, just say, "Don't reply."

I am making this apology not in hope that anyone will change their opinion of me or forgive me. I know that people of colour in this fandom are frustrated by white fans' inability to listen and respond in a way that makes things better, and I know that my own behaviour has contributed to that. My sincere desire here is to make it plain that I am willing to listen and try, and perhaps even make other fans feel that they can directly approach me with their frustrations and concerns.

I am beyond grateful to the fans of colour who have expended energy and time educating me, criticizing me, talking to me, and helping me. Your willingness to be open about your feelings and experiences, and to speak truth to power, have been unspeakably helpful in helping me see my blind spots, and understand the effect my behaviour has on other people. I know that it takes a lot of energy and courage it takes to speak about such a painful and infuriating subject. I want to thank the people who, despite my resistance at times, continue to engage me in these issues. Your feedback is valuable and appreciated.

@dexydex and @georgiapeche, re: this post

You’re right, I haven’t been responding correctly to your criticism. I’ve taken it too personally instead of taking a step back to consider your perspectives in a more nuanced and empathetic way. Thank you for all of the emotional labor you’ve expended up until this point trying to get through to me. I’m sorry that I’ve made it your responsibility to teach me what I’m doing wrong rather than go out and learn for myself. I’ve been complacent in the ways I’ve interacted with my own privilege. I’m sorry that my apologies have fallen flat time and time again. I’m sorry I haven’t done enough yet to unlearn my implicit racism. This is something I will increase my efforts to address and correct in the future. It is not your job to forgive me. It is not your job to absolve me of any ill will.

phillipsheabutter, re: this post

You're right; Kent's behaviour in canon is cruel and abusive, which Nursey's isn't. My response to them is very backwards the usual responses. I am especially sorry that my answer about him didn't address the word "hate", so I flatly said that I "hated" him, which is a strong and unwarranted negative assessment to make of his behaviour. This was especially wrong of me because the behaviour I was criticizing is a response many Black readers identify with, to the experience of having their emotional responses intensely policed and invalidated. It is a testament of my ignorance and prejudice that I felt this perspective was something I could choose to discard when thinking about him.

As to how I struggle to have empathy for one behaviour but not the other, I can't offer any excuse for my racism, but I can briefly explain: I’ve tried to articulate in the past that Kent’s narrative strongly evokes people and relationships that have been incredibly formative for me, and that I have dedicated years of personal searching and academic study to understanding Kent's kind of extreme behaviour and maintaining relationships with people who display it. My relationship to invalidating behaviour is still too raw and painful to talk about in detail, but in short, it was something I had powerfully negative experiences with when I was young, and as an adult I have found it deeply distressing when it was directed at me; I have embraced a career based around validating emotions. I hadn't yet truly realized the extent to which it is used as a coping mechanism by African Americans--the majority of Black people I have known have been first- or second-generation Canadians hailing from Africa or the Carribean, who have had expressed different cultural and racial experiences to me, and I haven't consumed enough American media to truly understand where Nursey is coming from. I struggle to relate to him as much as I do to characters like Ransom whose cultural experiences and coping mechanisms are more familiar to me.

In equating Nursey to generic white hipsters I encountered this behaviour from, I was erasing his Blackness in favor of pointing to an implied socioeconomic privilege that in no way makes up for or safeguards him from the experiences of being a Black man living in the United States. That wasn’t just wrong of me, it was careless and racist.

There’s a lot to his character that I’ve yet to explore and it was wrong of me to say I hate him when I haven’t done enough work to understand who he is or where he comes from. I'm going to work more to expand my knowledge and find deeper empathy for him.

@oluranurse, re: this post

You’re right, I keep making the same mistakes over again. I can understand how frustrating it feels when a larger blog says repeatedly that they will be different, and better, but the results are disappointing at best. I can only hope that by taking the time to listen, really listen, to your feedback, that someday I won’t have to apologize for my mistakes (because they will few and far apart).

I realize that as someone who doesn't have Borderline Personality Disorder, it is potentially problematic that I am so invested in its fictional depiction, especially given the extreme stigma against the disorder by members of my own profession. As I've explained before, however, it's a condition I've had significant personal experience with, and writing about mental health issues helps me build the skills that may let me someday write coherently about my own C-PTSD. What's more, I am not pulling these conditions out of nowhere or treating them lightly; I'm a licensed mental health professional, and I take a great deal of care to root my mental health headcanons in close analysis of the source material. The diagnoses I suggest for characters are by no means the ultimate truth about them and alternate perceptions of them are wholly plausible

I would like to talk more about your classification of BPD as "a mental illness that fandom likes to give to characters that have 'bad attitudes'," but on a separate occasion where that discussion doesn’t detract from the real conversation we’re having here.

In reference to the disagreement I had with brenbits, I still believe that the way they engaged me could have been more direct, and less heated, from the start. But I respect that other users confront issues they find problematic differently.

In reference to my post about dealing with criticism, I understand that the tone implied something much different than what I intended. I was attempting to be a resource for content creators who feel discouraged by discourse and offer show them how to respond to said criticism in a thoughtful and nuanced way. I realize how ironic that may sound considering some of my past responses. I know that in that post it sounds like I will apologize and defend every microaggression and racist comment that comes my way. That was never the case, but I’m sorry I did such a poor job of articulating that. Times that I have provided this service include helping writers find essays written by members of minorities about common difficulties or pitfalls in depictions of their experiences, or in helping them personally connect with someone who has the cultural competency to assess a situation, and is willing to expend the emotional labour of providing an author with a critique.

With regard to the time that I answered the question, "Are genderbends transphobic?" I shouldn't have answered, given that I am cis. I will make an effort in the future not to summarize trans peoples' opinions, and step back to amplify the voices of trans people who have already made their thoughts accessible.

I feel that the fandom should do more to support content creators and to talk through (especially with younger creators) what they could be doing better in terms of representation. I do understand, however, that doesn’t mean members of the fandom should have to stand for racist and stereotypical content and/or be grateful that it even exists.

You’re right, I’ve been complacent and racist in how I treat POC characters. I need to take a step back, consume more media and academic material related to the experiences of these characters. I need to immerse myself in the positive representations and transformative works this fandom already has for these characters. I need to make these already available transformative works more visible by interacting with them on my blog in ways that are supportive and enriching. I need do more to change my racist thoughts and tendencies because this is a comic made by a WOC that seeks to better minority representation and inclusion in the sports world. I need to be more present in how my behavior affects the experiences of others in this fandom.

I also concede that I do not understand the inherent danger that POC and trans people endure daily. I cannot take your concerns for granted just because I don’t understand them at first. It’s my personal responsibility to seek out information and understanding. I’m also sorry that I have focused more on my personal reaction to criticism rather than on the concerns raised about my behavior. I have many privileges in this fandom, I need to do a better job of utilizing them properly.

@eriquebittle, re: this post

You’re right, my apology focused too much on my feelings and not how my actions have hurt others. I was attempting to start a conversation I wasn’t ready to engage in properly. My apology was lackluster and nothing new at best. As I’m addressing in other posts, I am working on active change. From now on, I'll give the performative white guilt a rest and focus on listening and changing my behaviour.

@senor-lapin, re: this post

I meant what I said about doing my best. However, my apology was neither warranted in the way I handled it nor effective at articulating how I’m taking steps to fix my racist thoughts and actions. As I’ve addressed previously, I have removed the blocks I placed on other members of OMGCP fandom and will work in the future not to exclude them from the discussion. I will listen, research, and reflect for as long as I need to in order to understand my critics. That is the least I owe them.

@duanlarissa, re: this post

I was ineffective in trying to articulate or consider an intersectionality between neurodivergence and racial identity. The way I addressed Nursey and Dex’s relationship was very simplistic and downright racist. There’s a lot of nuance to their relationship that I haven’t begun to explore and shouldn’t have commented on. Nursey has every right to negotiate Dex’s behavior in a way that keeps him both mentally and physically safe.

@onethousandroaches, re: this post

It isn’t worse. You’re right.

In trying to dissect different aspects of his personality, I was not only minimizing his experiences and struggles, but othering and essentializing him. It was racist. I was racist. I need to consider and accept every part of his identity. I need to take a hard look at what I haven’t liked about him in the past, accept that I’ve been narrow minded and prejudiced, and unlearn those tendencies. I need to set a better example of how white fans should support characters of colour (especially Black characters in a fandom created by a Black woman). I need to use the privilege I have (as a white person, as a popular blog) to support this character and the people who enjoy him. All of him.

#race in fandom discourse #stuff i wrote

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blogdecjunior · 5 years

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A journey to remember

It was the afternoon of twenty third of May and cjunior sat down beneath the only gray ceiling fan in the second class waiting room.

The train was already half an hour late, which meant it was going to be very dark when he gets down at the capital city.

The rails were almost melting in the afternoon heat and the solitary safety officer walked across the platforms, analyzing the rails, candidly, as if he was wandering under the moonlight.

Soon, the announcement was made and the dozy people of the platform got up and readied themselves.

Cruising past everything before it, came the express train, dashing over the rail before cjunior, vehemently.

The hot wind from the train swept through the platform and the station.

My humble carriage,

What kind of fate awaits within you!

O, conjurer,

What destiny have you brought for me!

It had been a while since cjunior traveled on a train.

The smell of the leather chair and the omens of the sealed glass windows brought back many beautiful memories.

The person who sat across him was a young bloke in his twenties, with his hair perfectly cut, tucked into a black jacket, with his masculinity in full display.

He didn’t look like a guy who wanted to talk.

He was reading a book, The Commandment Of Auschwitz. A book that’s quite not something a twenty year old would read nowadays.

The stamp on the back of the book read “The Naval Academy Library”.

The haircut had hinted cjunior that he was from the defense, now the stamp reassured him.

After checking out a couple of equations and crappy theories for his upcoming test, cjunior talked him up.

“Quite a book.”

“Yeah, Rudolf Hoess.”

“What’s it about?”

“About how he ran the concentration camp at Auschwitz and killed almost a million people.”

"Wow, A peculiar book from a horrible point in history.”

“Indeed, his thoughts on prison and the psychology of prisoners are well worth reading.”

He smiled and his eyes fell on the rumpled pages of the old book again, back to his solemn feeling.

…

At the port city, along with the white collar techies and some toddlers, a very young woman walked in, gliding like a fowl.

ah, another lost soul swimming in a fish bowl!

Without much ado, she sat beside the mariner and put a book out: The Autobiography Of A Yogi.

Oh, the contrast!

The book of evil and the book about salvation!

cjunior’s eyes, tired of looking at the lush countryside, fell on the exotic necklace she wore. The alluring florescence of the crystal was captivating.

She scribbled something out in her pretty, spiral bound notebook from time to time, always after gazing through the window, like she was evoking her inspiration out of the pleasant afternoon wind.

Meanwhile, the mariner had struck up a friendship with two little kids at the next seat and had started playing cards with them.

Faces with smiles!

And an old woman from the other end started talking loudly on the phone, waking up even the sound sleepers.

…

Can’t you see the omen, young man?

The moment is now! …

"Hey, what are you writing?” cjunior asked casually, breaking the ice.

“It’s for a blog.”

She replied, after putting a little smile on her face.

“Lovely, and where are you coming from?”

“The hills. Munnar.”

cjunior actually wanted to know where her home was, but he nodded along.

“And, where to?”

“Varkkala.”

Ah, the pristine, golden sand beaches of Varkkala!

Thou shall soon be mine!

“I…”

She paused to think for a moment.

“I am Happy Shoes and I travel!”, she resumed and told him her story.

Once, on a cold November morning, she had quit her job. She turned away from the corporate realm to the hollows of the sky and miraculous horizon it displayed wherever one went.

In the cloudless azure sky, mystical nymphs appeared, holding their hands towards her.

“Come along, dear”, they whispered.

That day, she discovered what laid within her: The Spirit of Adventure.

The nymphs vanished.

She was reborn.

She started travelling.

…

cjunior kept listening to the traveler tell her story, completely amazed.

Letting go of everything, living with the Earth along with its wonderful cycles, feeling the rain, the sun and the wind, like the venerable ancestors did was all that he wanted to do.

Now, there she was. A person who works rather spent a night in a cave in Rudraprayag than Paris. He felt like he has so much to learn.

He looked over through the window at the sky, which was slowly gaining that crimson red tint, closed his eyes and thanked Providence for this.

…

Meanwhile, the old woman who had been talking loudly on the phone somehow managed to find her glasses from her handbag, flashed a smile at cjunior and started reading.

It was MT Vasudevan Nair’s Second Chance.

It spoke.

“The blessings of the lone warrior Bhima, I bringeth forth!”

…

“And what’s on your…” cjunior couldn’t help but ask pointing to her neck, brimming with curiosity.

“Oh this? Just a crystal. This keeps me away from the bad spirits and Karma. Sort of an energy wand.”

It had reminded him of Luna Lovegood’s butterbeer cork necklace from the Harry Potter series.

It sure didn’t look like it kept them Nargles away from her.

…

Perhaps after getting tired of losing deliberately, the mariner came back to his seat and his book, and casually blended into their conversation.

After talking about the contrast of the books on the table and he told them his story.

He was a kid who somehow got selected into the naval academy. The harsh rules forced him to change his lifestyle and almost drove him mad, but he didn’t give up. From his perspective, everything’s possible if you put your mind to it.

“There’s no good leader or a bad leader. Only a person and a job.”, he declared.

…

“And what’s your blog?”

“The Happy Shoes dot com. And yours?”

“Well, I’ve got three.”

“You write three blogs?” asked the woman, quite startled.

“Not quite, one’s for photos and the other’s for stories and all. I’ll… Ill write it out for you.”

And then he wrote ‘blogdecjunior.tumblr.com’ on her notebook.

“Is that?”

“French, yeah. Love the French. 'de’ means 'of’ in French.”, jested cjunior.

…

The train moved on through the trodden paths, like a long slithering serpent, spitting smoke.

Inside the train, it was three lost souls exchanging their bizarre stories.

Outside, the night laid repleted with darkness.

The mariner got off at a station near the backwaters, and Happy Shoes at the beach.

Soon, that journey will be lost in their memories, like a photo album inside an old wardrobe. But not these people they had met, never.

Like Karla of the book Hippie, she travels on to the corners of the world, wandering, looking for happiness and new experiences.

So, if you see a pair of happy shoes or a lonely mariner someday, you know what to do.

“Dear corner of the world,

What is our search worth?

What is our destiny?”

la fin

✨

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dwam-crack-blog · 7 years

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Beginnings

Given that I've randomly decided i could just use this place for blogging in general, I think I'm going to keep this first post relatively short.

I've been in the Ace Attorney fangaming "community" for several years now. I like to believe I've presented a substantial amount of content during those years when it comes to fancases. It's something I've personally, for the most part, enjoyed doing, and I hope the people who've played those fancases enjoyed doing so just as much. I also like to believe I've been around long enough to say I'm relatively experienced when it comes to witnessing how most projects -- both successful and unsuccessful -- are started, developed and ultimately concluded.

I'll be drawing attention to the unsuccessful ones here, for a moment.

Imagine yourself as a teenager. Maybe even a bit older. You've played a game you like. You really enjoyed it. Like, really enjoyed it. Something about it spoke to you. It got your imagination running. You kinda wish there was more of it. Then - lo and behold - you found out people have made an engine, maybe engines - that would allow you to create something like that. You check it out - you take a look at some of the stuff that's already been made with it. You think to yourself, "hey, that's pretty cool!" You maybe become a bit more familiarized with how the engine works, what it can and can't do.

Then -- you get this cool idea. It's a really good one. Like, so good you can practically picture it. It's a scene. Maybe even the final battle. You can hear the epic music. You can see the dialogue playing out. You can imagine the positive comments those other projects have gotten. Fuck it, maybe you even imagine an article in PC Gamer mentioning your game, claiming it to be a crowning achievement. You finally decide: "I'm gonna make it!"

So, you think it a bit more. You go to a forum dedicated to this sort of thing. You write out what will end up being your thread. You're careful to make sure you give just enough information about it. Too much, and it becomes a cluttered slog. Too little, and nobody will take you seriously. Chances are, you can't do art. But that's okay, you figure someone will help you out with that.

Granted, you're not entirely sure what you'll do if no artist comes along, or even if the project will be able to lift off the ground without it. But you're relatively sure it'll turn out fine.

So, you put the thread up. You get a few responses. Few people like the idea. Few people say they might consider joining, but nothing concrete. Someone asks you about how much you have so far. You tell them you're planning things. You give some arbitrary percentage - perhaps slightly larger than what even you feel is actually the case, but not like they'll be able to prove you wrong.

Eventually, someone comes along. It's an artist. They like the idea. They agree to work with you.

And thus, the project can finally happen. You're excited once more. The images of those cool scenes start coming back to you and you can't wait for it all to play out. The hype is real. More people are posting and expressing support. It's coming alive!

...But keep in mind I said "can happen".

In those aforementioned several years, I've seen this exact story play out many, many, many times. There are variations - sometimes the creator doesn't ask for help, says they can do it all themselves. Sometimes, they need even more than just an artist. Sometimes the project just ends up never happening exactly because there was no backup plan in light of there being no artist.

(Keep in mind, I am primarily talking about the perspective of an AA fangame developer, obviously things differ in other projects.)

There’s a lot of things that can happen here. But in the end, it comes down to one of these two conclusions:

The project lead plans everything out as promised, writes out the script and transfers what he has to into into the game, along with the artists' support. Everything seems to go smoothly, as if through a sheer miracle. Maybe there are some hiccups and hiatuses along the road, but fuck it, the job’s done.

More likely, however, the project dies for one or more of the following reasons:

The project never even leaves the planning stage. It turns out that the lead was far more interested in imagining all those fantastic scenes than actually making them a reality, always telling themselves: "ah, the means are there, it'll be done someday, now let me tell you about all these Japanese names I came up for my characters!"

One or more of the team's crucial members gets caught up in situations beyond their control and they're unable to do any work, slowing the project to a crawl, eventually killing it as others move on with their lives, as well.

The team members (most likely including the lead) don't understand the time and dedication necessary for something like this and are either unable to cooperate properly together, or simply cannot manage their time to make their work efficient. In other words, progress is too slow. Interest is significantly lost. Both from outside observers and within the team. Time passes and, very likely, my earlier point happens - where real life just catches up with them and the whole thing goes quietly into the night.

It just becomes boring to work on.

Now, to be perfectly clear -- I'm not saying there's blame to be found in any of these situations. Sometimes, things just don't turn out the way you want them to. It goes without saying that, if you gathered a team, that you’re not going to want to have their work go to waste. Most, if not all people, have that level of professionalism and courtesy within them to have the mentality of “I got you into this, I have to finish it”. Of course you'll want to get it done.

But you can't get blood from a stone.

And, frankly, you're in no position to claim you'll get anything done. Your determination, and your honesty, and your sense of responsibility be damned. Things change. Stuff just ends sometimes. Someday, you could wake up and realize you just don't want to do it anymore. What do you do then? Force yourself to work to make a half-hearted product? Pass your vision along to someone else and later be unhappy with seeing how that vision’s slowly being changed without your consent? If you’re working alone from the beginning, you can’t even do that.

Here's the common thread here.

People really like the beginnings of things. I don't mean that just with fan projects. It's like that with literally anything.

It's exciting. Makes your heart beat faster. Gives you the shakes. Feels like an impulsive decision that was somehow still calculated. Thinking about winning? Nah, no need. You’ve already won!

But in most cases - in cases where things end up not working out - it's actually exciting because the entire time you're thinking about the destination, not the actual journey. Or, maybe that’s not even it. Maybe you’re just so caught up in the moment that the idea of failure doesn’t even cross your mind, leaving you unprepared when things start going bad. You're young, and you're inexperienced, and you just tell yourself you can do it. And hell - you probably can!

...Thing is, at one point or another, you just don't want to. Maybe because more important things will start happening in your life. Maybe because you weren't honest with yourself about the commitment you were willing to pour into it. Maybe things were out of your control and, again, you weren’t prepared enough to fall back on anything. Maybe because... shit, I don't know. Could be any number of reasons.

My main piece of advice here would be -- before you do anything, anything at all -- get as much work done you yourself can possibly do. If you consider yourself a writer -- write out the script. Nevermind the art. If there's something in that script your artist can't do, you'll make a compromise.

If you're the artist, get art done so you can show it off to other people (who knows, if nothing else, might be a good way to hone your skills?)

If you can code - fuck it, code in some of the script! Even if you’re unhappy with the dialogue, at least have the structure set up. Find a way to speed up processes. Make things extremely fast for you when the time to act actually comes.

If you’re a combination of these three - well, answer should be obvious enough.

But do as much as you can so that when the time comes to make that thread where you either need help or you're just announcing the project to the world, you have something to show to people. To prove that you're in it for the long run. But more importantly, prove to yourself that you're in it for the long run.

That way, you:

Have people be able to trust you enough to apply for help

Have sped up the amount of time the team will need to create the project, since a part of the work is already done

Have a better understanding of your own project and what exactly you want from it; plus, are able to communicate your ideas way more clearly

Even then, there's no guarantee things won't fall apart. But you'll have done everything in your power to truly push yourself to make your dream a reality, and not just jumping into the fire, not knowing what you're doing.

This was probably a really roundabout fucking way of making this point, and I don't even know if half of this shit is comprehensible to someone who has never been in the kind of forum I'm talking about here, but I felt like ranting so, eh.

#ace attorney #aceattorney #fan project #writing

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shadowdianne · 7 years

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The question for writers, 1-50 ;)

Uhhh, you mean like all of them? xd This is going to be long…

Thank you for the ask anon. I hope you don’t get bored…

01: When did you first start writing?

I don’t have a clear memory of the moment I really started to write down my stories but I remember pretending to write when I couldn’t be more than six a story about a group of smugglers that were discovered by a group of children and therefore put in jail. (I read the whole series of the Famous Five and The three investigators about that age so I was quite influenced xd) However, my first story was when I was around nine in where I wrote a story about a girl that chatted with several greek deities… I don’t really remember how the story ended though xd

02: What was your favorite book growing up?

My favourite book is the divine comedy and has been for a really long time. I also loved (when I was a tween) The Phantom Tollbooth and several others… I think I would need a really long list to put them all together!

03: Are you an avid reader?

Yup! I love to read, reading is, as writing, something that is a part of who I am.

04: Have you ever thrown a book across the room?

Never xd I had the idea with my math’s textbook though because I sucked at them but a book I enjoyed reading? Never.

05: Did you take writing courses in school/college?

I did several courses back in school/high school and I’ve attended several short courses over my years at college, yes.

06: Have you read any writing-advice books?

Not entire books but I’ve always read about the worldbuilding of a world in order to make them more authentic, kind of phrases and character building. However, I tend to have the problem that I find that some of the books are very strong on the kind of rules they are trying to apply to one’s writing work and so even though I try to learn as much as possible I tend to not follow them as much as I should.

07: Have you ever been part of a critique group?

Nope. Not because I didn’t want but because the occasion never presented itself.

08: What’s the best piece of feedback you’ve ever gotten?

Uhm… I had a teacher when I was in my last year of high school that learnt that I wrote short stories in english xd He asked me to give one to him and I gave him one called Synopados in where I explored the idea of a girl looking at her emotions through a mirror as she fell in love with a girl. I still have the note he wrote me about how I had courage for writing that stories in a city like the one that is my childhood town. He told me I should keep writing, no matter what. I had already started to write fanfics but sparsely and almost everything in spanish so I’m deeply humbled and grateful by what he did.

09: What’s the worst piece of feedback you’ve ever gotten?

One in where I was asked to end my writing because it wasn’t good enough, never would be and it was a joke how I tried to be something when I couldn’t put one letter after the other.

10: What’s your biggest writer pet-peeve?

I can’t stand first POV(?) I mean, I’ve written some stories with that pov and I’ve read them as well but I always link that to roleplaying and not stories so in my head it doesn’t sound quite right.

11: What’s your favorite book cover?

There are too many lol But I think that one of the recent ones I like is Perdido street station from China Miéville

12: Who is your favorite author?

I don’t have one that surpases the others I’m afraid. However, one of the authors I deeply respect is Rowling so I will go with her and PD.James.

13: What’s your favorite writing quote?

If a story is in you it has got to come out. I believe it was said by Faulkner but I could be wrong.

14: What’s your favorite writing blog? c;

Hahaha, too many to count :P

15: What would you say has inspired you the most?

Reading. Without reading I wouldn’t want to create because I wouldn’t have the ideas of so many worlds and characters already in my head. There may be people who think otherwise but for me reading is a very big part of writing.

16: How do you feel about movies based on books?

That they tend to be an absolute disaster but not because of the general idea of “They didn’t put this scene in that moment.” but because they try to create a visual of abstract ideas sometimes the authors make the reader see by description that don’t necessarily need to be linked to a visual scene. The way that’s often presented make some ideas look cheaper than they are. There are some movies that got that beautifully though.

17: Would you like your books to be turned into TV shows, movies, video games, or none?

Mine? -looks down- I… would first need to believe that they could be turned into something xd However, I think I would like to see some of my ideas transformed into a game.

18: How do you feel about love triangles?

That they are boring and done again and again and again. I really don’t like them as well as most of the romantic tropes done so many times it’s impossible to escape them.

19: Do you prefer writing on a computer or longhand?

My handwriting is awful so I only tend to write the general idea of my stories instead of the full-fleshed thing because, otherwise, it would be a nightmare to understand it all.

20: What’s your favorite writing program?

I really don’t have one to be honest.

21: Do you outline?

For short stories I always have a general idea on my head of what I want to write. It’s on long stories in where I outline full plot points, dialogue ideas and characters.

22: Do you start with characters or plot?

Plot, always plot. I prefer to know where I’m going to put my characters in because then I know how to move them through that space.

23: What’s your favorite & least favorite part of making characters?

My favourite is their inner voices, how all of them has different ideas and how I can write that into the story is amazing. From movement to how they talk. The least one is their names when I’m making them from scratch and if I’m writing with already created characters the style of clothing I want to describe them in. xd

24: What’s your favorite & least favorite part of plotting?

My favourite would be almost everything that involves worldbuilding, searching information and creating. The least would be the “filler” scenes in where nothing happens but helps to create a more realistic pace for a story.

25: What advice would you give to young writers?

I’m still young! I’m still a novice! I don’t really know what I would say to them lol. Perhaps… write? Feedback will be sparse, bad words will stand out more than good ones and it’s okay to feel bad for that but writing and understanding how a story is created will help you greatly.

26: Which do you enjoy reading the most: physical, ebook, or both?

I have an ebook and I use it a lot but I prefer the physical copy of the book.

27: Which is your favorite genre to write?

Fantasy, Sci-Fi… and that taking into account all subgenres like cyberpunk, steampunk… I adore the new-weird but I don’t see myself writing that yet. It requires a level of expertise I don’t have.

28: Which do you find hardest: the beginning, the middle, or the end?

The end, but it’s also the part I enjoy the most.

29: Which do you find easiest: writing or editing?

-Groans- I prefer writing. Editing is a pain in the ass.

30: Have you ever written fan-fiction?

-snorts- Yuuup.

31: Have you ever been published?

Nope, I haven’t. I wish someday will be able to be good enough to even think about it tho’

32: How do you feel about friends and close relatives reading your work?

My relatives don’t so….. My girlfriend does it from time to time tho. It’s strange to see her read my stories but funny at the same time. Same goes with the friends that I manage to trick them into reading me.

33: Are you interested in having your work published?

As I said… yes. But I don’t know if I will ever be good enough.

34: Describe your writing space.

Almost everywhere. However I tend to prefer writing in my bed, with my pc propped up on my knees and a cup of tea next to me. Everything very instragram-ish.

35: What’s your favorite time of day for writing?

Night. I’m a night person.

36: Do you listen to music when you write?

Yup, otherwise I wouldn’t be able to focus.

37: What’s your oldest WIP?

Wow xd I think… The recognizable stranger is one of my oldest for this fandom.

38: What’s your current WIP?

Too many to count…

39: What’s the weirdest story idea you’ve ever had?

That I could write? nah, just kidding. (No really) I think it was the one about the mirror and the girl I said before. I’ve had weirded ones but I don’t really remember them as being impossible to tackle.

40: Which is your favorite original character, and why?

Samantha Somnos xd In fact, this character was written for a roleplaying community at twitter a few years back. Her avatar was Emily Blunt and she was this cold woman, effective on her job and lethal. She had a very convoluted relationship with a man on her youth… I loved writing for that character, not only her background but her history which I wrote alongside with my girlfriend. I adored how, at the end, she is just a bad person, one that doesn’t want to change but it’s that what leads the reader. I wish I could keep on writing her.

41: What do you do when characters don’t follow the outline?

I murder them… nah. I keep myself flexible. Some things need to be written down but others not so whenever that happens I redirect the situation using what the characters are giving me.

42: Do you enjoy making your characters suffer?

Not in a gore-way but I like making them suffer pain or loss. I like how creative I can get with that because I can work them inside and out and see how they can react to several things.

43: Have you ever killed a main character?

-nods- Several times.

44: What’s the weirdest character concept you’ve ever come up with?

An old woman whose imagination has kept her trapped into an ink cage from where she is able to see stories that are dreamt in the minds of those who seek sleep. She collects those stories in the form of ever growing chains around her wrists.

45: What’s your favorite character name?

I don’t really have one although I tend to prefer to choose names who have a hidden meaning for me, like a private joke.

46: Describe your perfect writing space.

As previously said I don’t have a preferred writing space since I write in almost everywhere so… perhaps a place in where I never felt cold?

47: If you could steal one character from another author and make then yours, who would it be and why?

By stealing them I would transform them in something different since I’m not the author that created them. However, since I write fanfiction as well as my own work I’m used to write characters that aren’t mine by default so… I would love to explore Katsa from Graceling. Or Alana from the Saga series.

48: If you could write the next book of any series, which one would it be, and what would you make the book about?

I’d probably transform it into a fantasy-driven book so… I will leave the series I would destroy as “not chosen” haha

49: If you could write a collaboration with another author, who would it be and what would you write about?

Currently I’m in love with China Miéville’s work so I will choose him. And taking into account what he write we would write a new-weird genre book lol-

50: If you could live in any fictional world, which would it be?

Perhaps Philip Pullman’s Dark Material’s world.

#anon

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