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nadiestar · 4 years

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The Lie of Black and White: 3/?

The wedding changed things. The wedding led to Patton apologizing and Janus opening up. To Logan reminisce and Virgil to re-evaluate. And for the twins it - well for the twins it led to confrontation, hurt and facing the mistakes and lies they had made theselves and the others believe for far too long. (ca. 4700 words)

TW: Burnt skin! Please proceed with care.

Link on Ao3

@aprincehasgotoslay

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Janus was about to curse and jump right back through the portal, before the stupid twins could close it, as they finally came through.

Roman clung to Remus’s arm and his eyes were glued to the floor. Both brothers’ breathing was faster than usual and as much as Roman seemed to depend on Remus’s support one couldn’t be entirely sure that it wasn’t the other way round.

Patton stood next to Logan who had been so dishevelled when they had entered the room and was now hit with another wave of deep and complicated emotions. There was Roman and Remus. Or both. As of now their feelings seemed to overlap so drastically, he could barely make out what came from whom. Then there was Virgil. He had sprung up from the divan. He was anxious, angry, so, so worried and guilty before the twins had entered. But now there was rage. A loud unapologetic rage.

And that were only three of the six sides that were currently standing in Roman’s deranged room and that was far too much for Patton to register. He almost blacked out when Virgil jumped towards the twins, elbowed his way through Janus and fiercely went against Remus.

“What the fuck have you done to him!” Virgil screamed and made an attempt to grab Remus’s wrist.

Remus had no trouble dodging Virgil’s hand. Lightly he stepped to the side, still holding onto Roman, carefully putting himself in front of him so Virgil could not get to him. But Virgil was not about to stop and tried to reach for him just to be stopped again. Only this time by Roman, who somehow had wrestled his way in front of Remus.

Confused Virgil stared up at him, at the stony expression in Roman’s face and the visible exhaustion on his shoulders.

“And what is that-”

Roman didn’t let him finish. Tiered but determined he told Virgil: “Don’t put the blame on him. He’s literally the last person in this room you should blame for this.”

Virgil stared Roman in the eyes. Watched how certain the Prince was when he defended Remus. How could it be that he suddenly acted so loyal towards him? How did he all of a sudden trust Remus of all people?

“Why the fuck are you protecting him?”

Roman gulped lightly, blinked and refocused. In his answer lay regret: “Wrong question. Why wasn’t I protecting him from the beginning?”

And then Roman almost immediately slumped together and would have fallen on the floor, had Remus not caught him in time. Virgil hastily sprung back, while Logan and Patton were about to jump forwards to help, before they heard Roman mumble a thanks and decided to let Remus do the work.

Helpless the four other sides stood in the room watching how Remus helped Roman get his balance and the two quietly, quietly of all things they could be, bicker amongst another.

“Easy, easy tiger!” - “Sorry…” - “Spinning head?”

Roman groaned and put his arm over Remus’s shoulders.

“Neat! So, out of here?” Remus asked and observed his brother’s steadily more shaking legs.

Roman weakly whined: “Please!”

Remus nodded and thought for a moment. Everything hurt. It was of no use.

“Damsel?” – “Yeah”

And with that Remus picked Roman up like a damsel in distress and carefully walked towards the door to the hallway. Smoothly he opened the door with his foot and headed straight to the living room. The others finally came after him and Roman, as he left the room and had almost reached the couch.

Patton was closest to the brothers. He had found his composure again and decided to take on the next steps as he had realized that neither Janus nor Logan had a solid plan of what to do next. Also, there was the fact that Roman and Remus both sounded like they were in severe pain and he had to do something about that. As soon as possible.

Meanwhile Logan excused himself and split off from the group for a short detour into the bathroom. He needed to clean up his face from crying.

Virgil took a seat on the other end of the couch and watched Remus slowly letting down Roman and then both taking a seat. Patton placed himself in front of the brothers behind the coffee table and Janus kept some distance from the rest and stood next by the dining table.

Roman moved carefully. Careful to not let his back touch the backrest of the couch. Careful to not wince at the fabric touching his skin. Careful to not cry with relief when Remus took his hand and held it comfortingly.

In the corner of his eyes Roman saw Logan enter the room and take seat next to Janus, who still stood close to the dining table. The thoughts in his head still didn’t make perfect sense but Roman slowly realized, who had just seen his and Remus’s memory. Who now knew about his attempt to safe Remus. He gulped.

His head spun. Shakily, Roman lifted his hand and tried to focus and conjure a glass of water, but soon realized that he wasn’t up for it and was about to stand up and get one from the kitchen, as Patton pressed him back down into his seat.

“Slow down kiddo! What do you want? What can I get you?” Patton said softly with a smile.

Roman hesitated. His eyes darted over to Virgil, who frowned. Who pitied him. So far he had fallen, Roman realized and told himself a little more embarrassment wouldn’t make much of a difference anyway.

“Just a glass of water.”

Promptly, Patton had conjured one and handed it to Roman. Carefully, the Prince took a little sip. And then he gave it to Remus, who emptied it in one go. Relieved Remus sighed and mindlessly threw the glass aside, only for Roman to make it disappear with a snap before it shattered on the floor.

Roman looked over to Remus. His face wasn’t blank, it never was. Most prominently Roman saw a quiet ask in it. A simple please. It was so small and plain but so imperative at the same time that Roman wished it would be easier for him to oblige.

Patton stepped around the coffee table and both brother’s attention focused immediately on him. Patton was almost proud for not just stopping in his tracks, as the twins suddenly stared at him in complete union. As if they were one and not two.

With a smile Patton sat down on the coffee table and gave both a look, before he caught himself in almost calling Roman kiddo and refocused for a second until he finally said: “Do you think you can tell me what all of this is about? Roman? Remus?”

Latter looked over to his brother, while Roman just stared down in his lap.

“I won’t ask him.”

Roman let out a groan. It still hurt too much. Patton certainly felt it and Remus was in pain too. He needed to stand up for him. He needed to help him.

So Roman looked up over to Remus and pouted: “I’ll do it but you go first.”

“But you’ll let him do it?”

Remus sounded a little surprised by Roman’s willingness to get help but was ultimately just glad that there was a solution to their situation.

“Kiddos?”

Roman turned towards Patton. He looked a little concerned, a little confused but otherwise calm. Roman bit his lip. Patton was trying to keep it together, for their sake. For his sake? His head was spinning again. He needed to make it stop.

“I wanna explain but. You know- Yeah, you, especially you! You know – I", Roman babbled and pointed with his hands towards Patton, as if that would explain anything.

To everybody’s surprise Patton nodded and responded: “Yes, I do. You can’t explain because you two are in pain. What can we do about that?”

Roman swallowed and squeezed Remus’s hand a little. It was still comforting.

“Please don’t get mad at us for this!”

Patton frowned at the guilty whine and shook his head vehemently.

“Why would I be mad? Of course, I won’t be mad at you! I just want to help!”

Remus snorted and Roman sighed.

“Okay”, Roman gave in and started to explain, “but try to not freak out too much. So, uhm, the thing is, there are some stuff all of us can do, what actual people can’t do. Like conjuring stuff, shapeshift, teleport, sinking out, uhm-”

“And heal”, Patton added after Roman had broken off so abruptly.

“Well, yeah, but actually no.”

Patton frowned more and Logan shot up and immediately steadied himself on the table, as he suddenly felt a wave of nausea rush through him. Janus next to him shot forwards to the coffee table and hissed dangerously quietly: “What do you mean? What do you mean not all of us can heal themselves?”

Roman’s look fell again in his lap and instead Remus perked up and answered in his brother’s stead: “Ro and I can’t instant heal. When we get hurt, we need to give it time, like humans do. It does heal pretty quick and doesn’t leave as much scars as it would with people but it does leave scars and it does hurt.”

“Wait, what? And what were all those gruesome things I saw you doing to yourself?” Virgil protested with growing agitation in his chest.

Remus shrugged a little and looked from Virgil over to Janus while answering: “Illusions. That's the special thing we can do. I’m really good at them, too. You were always so mortified by the open chest one with the worms!”

Remus’s grin was wide and fake. He wasn’t sure why but it was the only way how he could tell them.

Janus was shaking. Remus had been hurt in the past. He had asked him to heal cuts, bruises little things. He never had mentioned that he couldn’t heal them himself and it had never crossed Janus’s mind that he maybe couldn’t heal them. He had just assumed that Remus wanted some sort of excuse so he could bother him. And now he had questions, a lot of them.

Patton on the other hand, hadn’t entirely understood what was happening. He was not sure how the explanation connected with the brother’s pain and why he would be angry at them for-

“Wait, Roman, you are in physical pain? You are injured?”

Roman didn’t manage to meet his eyes. He only nodded.

Patton shook his head. Roman looked fine. His hair, his face, his clothes, his hands, everything looked fine. Just like always. But he was in pain. In so much pain and he could not see a single scratch. How could Roman hide such pain with such ease behind an illusion? How could his boy do this?

“How did you get injured? How did you get hurt?”

Roman looked up. He thought about asking him again to not to get mad. He decided to not say it and just told him: “I set a fire in the imagination.”

Silence.

“What?”

“I didn’t want to, it – it just! It just happened when I went inside and- it's not so bad with me-”

“You sat in the fucking flames!” Logan shouted across the room but Roman just kept rambling to Patton.

“Fire isn’t so bad with me! I – I can stand it quite well and will heal good for me but. Uhm.”

Roman’s voice broke. He took a deep breath.

“It hurt Remus. He pulled me out. He got burnt because of me and I can’t help him and I – I will explain everything, I will – please just help him for – for me.”

Sadness. Patton had only now registered it. Concerned he turned his attention to Remus, who smiled despite wearing a great amount of grief in his heart. Patton cracked a smile towards the Duke and then patted Roman softly on the knee.

“Of course, I will heal you, Remus”, Patton said to him as calm as he could, “if you want me to. If you’d be more comfortable with Janus or Logan, I’m sure they would do it in a snap.”

Remus chuckled seemingly jolly.

“Oh, I think that won’t do. J’s a decent healer but he won’t be able to fix this. You’ll have to do it yourself, if you want to get Roman’s allowance to heal him.”

Patton wanted to protest and tell Remus that he did not heal hi so he could heal Roman, but because he wanted to, but decided against it. Neither of the twins seemed to be quite lucid and Patton chose to believe that the pain both felt was a reason for it. So, Patton took a deep breath, smiled to Remus and told him: “Then I’ll gladly heal you. Now, do you want to get somewhere else or are you all right with doing it here? Because I need to see where the burns are and I need to be able to directly touch them.”

“Oh, here is fine! I’m not prude!” Remus chirped and snapped his top away.

Being half naked in front of the other sides never was too strange for Remus. Especially not here in the mindscape, where they all didn’t look like the same guy. He was unashamed and liked the body he had here. He liked being a little buffer than the others, save for Roman.

Though now he realized that he had to let the illusion on his skin drop and let the others see all the little marks diverse accidents and fights had left on his body. And that he didn’t like as much.

“Also, the face, Ree. Don’t forget the face”, Roman reminded him and skid a little to the side.

Remus threw him a dirty look and just let the whole illusion drop. And there he sat on the couch, visible to all. Patton just stared at the few scars on his chest and shoulders, light on his brown skin, and some of them even looked like they had been stitched. Then his eyes darted to his forearms. Dark reds, blisters. The hands didn’t look any better.

Only then Patton found himself look up to Remus’s face. A small cut slightly parted his bottom lip, deep, dark circles under his eyes. And big, brown eyes filled with sentiment and exhausted energy. Just like Roman’s but at the same time not.

And then Patton decided to smile and motion for Remus to stretch out his left arm first. Remus didn’t hesitate and Patton slowly told him: “Very well. Then let’s get going! My hands will be pretty cold, so don’t be frightened.”

And then Patton began. Remus was fidgety, moving with no end. Not to disturb but to move along Patton’s touch, he turned and bend his arms just so Patton would get the patches that hurt him the most. His eyes were locked to the subtle sky-blue light emitting from Patton’s hands.

Roman stared in his lap while Patton silently continued to heal Remus. Those who observed him closely found that there were tears dropping down his face.

Logan had his back towards the couch. He silently counted backwards from four hundred in steps of three, with the intention to get his head out of here. He knew it wasn’t working but he didn’t stop trying just yet.

Virgil just gawked at the whole spiel in front of him. Listened to the small noise of Remus’s breath and remembered playing with Remus when they were still children. Or rather Remus playing with him. Or rather entertaining him. Caring for him when Janus was too wrapped up in another plan and told Virgil and Remus to not disturb him. He remembered the silliness in Remus’s voice and the utter and complete fascination with every single thing Virgil ever did. How he stood up when he fell. How he cried when something scared him. How he giggled because of one of Remus’s pranks. And for the first time Virgil felt guilty for treating Remus the way he did.

Janus walked towards them, as Patton began treating Remus’s left arm. Janus had known about the illusions. He can see that they are up, which was why Remus’s pranks rarely had any effect on him. But he couldn’t see through them and he had never come to question why some of them were permanently in his face. He had thought it to be make up nothing serious.

And as Janus mused about Remus’s scars, he shot a look to Roman. The Prince was the same. He usually had an illusion on his right temple. Was it a cut or a burn? But he lost the thought quickly, as he realized that Roman’s jaw, his whole neck and a huge part of his cheeks was covered from an illusion. The breath stuck his throat.

Gently, Patton lifted his hands from Remus’s arms and watched the Duke happily inspect the scarless flesh. Roman had been right. It was a lot harder to heal the skin than he had initially anticipated but, in the end, he had managed to undo the damage that had been done. At least one problem he could simply fix.

“Thanks Pat!” Remus said and with a snap conjured himself a t-shirt.

“Don’t sweat it kiddo”, Patton answered with a half grin and eyed Roman from the corner of his eye.

He wasn’t crying anymore and Patton had noticed how he had started opening and closing his hands over and over again. It was something he did since they were little, when he tried to build up courage, but he had rarely seen him doing it these days. But maybe he just hid it like all those other things he had found out about him today.

“Ro?”

Remus’s voice was surprisingly soft. His look was almost softer when he got Roman to look at him. The Prince winced and Remus tilted his head to the side and put his hand gently on his shoulder.

“It’s okay. Your pride’s being a bitch again, though. Shut her up.”

Roman almost snickered at that word choice and brushed Remus’s hand from his shoulder. Just like that he found enough energy within himself to look up to Patton and slid towards him on the couch.

“Okay. Uhm. It will look really, really bad. Trust me. But it will probably heal a lot better than you would think”, Roman said quietly and started to fumble with the hems of his sleeves.

Patton nodded kindly and Roman pressed his lips together. Patton cleared his throat and told Roman as he struggled to do anything next: “We can leave the room. It is no trouble at all.”

Roman shook his head. He knew Patton meant well and he wished he could just stand up or let one of the other teleport him away but if he had to move only a single inch more than necessary, he would start to cry out loud.

Instead Roman started to unbutton the prince top and delicately slipped out of it. Next, he pulled his undershirt over his head, while suppressing more wincing. He threw both pieces next to him on the couch, whit no care of how ruffled they would get.

For a second, Roman stopped and tried to regain posture. He was being stupid, he knew, but the act of undressing himself gave him the sense of a little control. And that was all he had at the moment.

Carefully he then stood up, stripped off his shoes and pulled his pants down. He felt the eyes burning on him, the questions unasked in the air but could not bring himself to care. Standing on his soles hurt and he gritted his teeth before he sat down and pressed his hands onto his knees.

Inhale. Hold. Exhale.

“I’m going to drop the illusion now. I will close my eyes. I will not open them again until you are finished, Patton.”

“Okay”, Patton told him without breaking eye contact.

At last Roman nodded and closed his eyes. And dropped the illusion.

Silence. A sharp inhale and the sound of breathing before somebody started to hyperventilate.

Patton quickly shot a glance to Janus, who couldn’t stand the look of Roman and immediately got where Patton was at. With big strife he walked over to Virgil and escorted him out of the room so he could get his breathing to normalize again.

With that only Patton, Roman, Remus and Logan remained in the room who all made an effort to be deadly quiet.

Patton took a moment to inspect Roman as a whole. The calves were unharmed as was the back part of the tights. Roman must have been kneeling, so that these parts could have been untouched.

Almost inaudibly Patton asked Roman to lift his feet and started with the burnt sole of his feet. Patton felt sizzling as the red skin, the burst blisters changed under the soft blue light of his healing powers. Roman instinctively gave into the touch like Remus had done, with the difference that he was far more controlled that the Duke had been.

Patton instructed Roman to move his toes. Carefully, Patton observed the look in Roman’s face as he followed his ask and then went on to heal the front part of his tights.

Remus had moved closer to Roman. Close enough for Roman to feel his body warmth without touching him. Closely Remus watched what Patton was doing, saw the red disappear on Roman’s skin and looked up. He heard Virgil and Janus outside of the room silently getting Virge through a panic attack and watched Logan stare at Roman. It seemed as if the logical side couldn’t help himself keep his eyes on him, just as if he was witnessing a car driving right towards a wall and crashing into a million pieces.

Logan was trembling, Remus noticed then. He was blaming himself for their state. He heard accusations and guilt forming in Logan’s head and found it strange. Without Logan they had probably failed to get to Roman at all. He turned back to his brother and watched him turn around as Patton instructed so he could work on his back.

Remus sniffed and brushed tears and snot out of his face. The pain was finally starting to lessen and a million thoughts came back into Remus’s head. He wanted to shout at Patton for always making Roman choose, for making Remus seem more dangerous that he was. He wanted to punch Janus for playing games with Roman, for comparing Remus to Roman.

But Remus knew better than that. He knew that now was not the time and he would be able to handle better later with Roman’s help.

Patton was now working on Roman’s hands. He was especially careful with those and tried to be as gentle as he could, since he knew how important they were for Roman to work with. He only managed to make slow process with them though. The skin was burnt off, some parts were raw flesh, which only now were being tended to and he felt how it was starting to get infected. His powers were strong enough to recrate the skin but it was a lot harder than it had been with Remus and the fact that Roman’s eyebrows were constantly twitching didn’t make it any easier for Patton to concentrate.

Eventually, Patton had done his best with the hands and got up to the neck. Roman shivered under his cold touch, but only for a mere second before he caught himself again. Patton tried not to think too much to it and carefully continued.

Behind him Patton heard Virgil and Janus re-enter. The healed skin under Patton’s fingers felt a little wrinkly. Janus whispered something and Logan answered. Patton laid his hands again on the wrinkly skin and let a wave of healing rush trough it. Virgil came back to the couch. When he sat down the couch slightly shook. The skin was still a little wrinkly and Patton had to force himself to move on with the rest of Roman’s burnt face.

“Please tilt your head a little upwards”, Patton instructed Roman who followed with an agreeing huff.

Patton hadn’t touched Roman’s face in a long time. The last time it must have been in their early teens and since then Roman had changed his form so many times that it didn’t compare at all with what Patton remembered. His jaw was angular and strong, nothing from the softness of a child remaining in it. It reminded Patton how strong Roman had gotten. How much he fought and carried them forwards while insisting he could carry them on his own. Patton had believed him. Well, he had let him do it, if he actually believed him, he had never asked himself but he saw the fault in that now.

Patton’s hands rested on Roman’s cheeks. He massaged his chin with his thumbs and watched how much he had managed to restore. It was a lot. Almost everything. But a little part on the neck that pushed up over his chin onto the left cheek. That part was wrinkly and darker than the rest of Roman’s skin. Patton knew it would fade with time but he wished he could have done more.

There were dark circles under Roman’s eyes. Some acne on his forehead. A scar on his right temple, which was so faint that it might as well be over a decade old. It didn’t look perfect. This wasn’t what Patton knew Roman to be. But it seemed to be Roman and he hated that he hadn’t seen it before. That he didn’t question it before.

That he never tried to love it before.

Patton took his hands away from Roman’s face and refreshed his smile. Softly Patton then told Roman: “I’m finished!”

It took Roman a moment before he opened his eyes. First, what he saw was Patton’s smile and next his hands, which he lifted to stare at them. He let out a relieved sigh and leaned against Remus. Swiftly, he snapped himself a red tank top and white shorts before lying back against the backrest and finally let his shoulders slump down.

Remus hands was again in Roman’s and both felt save. It was good to know where the other was, it was good to feel the other. It had been too long. Far too long.

Roman focused back on Patton. The smile on the Dad’s face was a tad to cheery and Roman tiredly grinned at him.

“You couldn’t restore everything, right?”

Patton kept smiling while pressing his lips together.

“No, I couldn’t.”

“It’s the face, right?” Roman inquired with a smile and reached for his face.

Remus slapped his hand away way from his face and scolded Roman: “Don’t! It’ll heal better if you don’t touch it!”

“Says the idiot who couldn’t stop picking on his fucking stiches!” Roman bit back but didn’t try to touch his face again.

Then Roman turned his attention back to Patton, whose guilt was all too visible to him and let out a sigh. It was not Patton’s fault that he had burnt himself. Neither that he hadn’t said anything before it was too late to restore all of it.

“It’s good padre. Thank you. Thank you so much.”

Patton’s smile wavered. What exactly was Roman thanking him for? Was it for the healing he got for himself or was it for helping Remus? Patton should know. Patton was supposed to know this; he knew Roman since they were nine. He had cooked so many meals for him and Logan. He had helped him with so many projects and so many relationships.

He was supposed to know what Roman was fighting for. And maybe he did. But he was also supposed to know why he was fighting for his brother, for his desires, for his recognition.

And he didn’t.

Patton drove with his had over his face and turned back to look at the others. They had a ton of work to do and no idea where to start.

This would get messy.

#sander sides #thomas sanders #roman sanders #remus sanders #janus sanders #virgil sanders #patton sanders #logan sanders #angst #brotherly creativitwins #The Lie of Black and White #also it would be nice if you could reblog it if you enjoyed the story

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mimssides · 3 years

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The Lie of Black and White: 3/9

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Janus was about to curse and jump right back through the portal, before the stupid twins could close it, as they finally came through.

And that were only three of the six sides that were currently standing in Roman’s deranged room and that alone was far too much for Patton to register. He almost blacked out when Virgil jumped towards the twins, elbowed his way through Janus and fiercely went against Remus.

“What the fuck have you done to him!” Virgil screamed and made an attempt to grab Remus’s wrist.

Confused Virgil stared up at him, at the stony expression in Roman’s face and the visible exhaustion on his shoulders.

“And what is that-”

Roman didn’t let him finish. Tiered but determined he told Virgil: “Don’t put the blame on him. He’s literally the last person in this room you should blame for this.”

“Why the fuck are you protecting him?”

Roman gulped lightly, blinked and refocused. In his answer lay regret: “Wrong question. Why wasn’t I protecting him from the beginning?”

Helpless the four other sides stood in the room watching how Remus helped Roman get his balance and the two quietly, quietly of all things they could be, bicker amongst another.

“Easy, easy tiger!” - “Sorry…” - “Spinning head?”

Roman groaned and put his arm over Remus’s shoulders.

“Neat! So, out of here?” Remus asked and observed his brother’s steadily more shaking legs.

Roman weakly whined: “Please!”

Remus nodded and thought for a moment. Everything hurt. It was of no use.

“Damsel?” – “Yeah”

Meanwhile Logan excused himself and split off from the group for a short detour into the bathroom. He needed to clean up his face from crying.

“Slow down kiddo! What do you want? What can I get you?” Patton said softly with a smile.

“Just a glass of water.”

Latter looked over to his brother, while Roman just stared down in his lap.

“I won’t ask him.”

Roman let out a groan. It still hurt too much. Patton certainly felt it and Remus was in pain too. He needed to stand up for him. He needed to help him.

So Roman looked up over to Remus and pouted: “I’ll do it but you go first.”

“But you’ll let him do it?”

Remus sounded a little surprised by Roman’s willingness to get help but was ultimately just glad that there was a solution to their situation.

“Kiddos?”

“I wanna explain but. You know- Yeah, you, especially you! You know – I", Roman babbled and pointed with his hands towards Patton, as if that would explain anything.

To everybody’s surprise Patton nodded and responded: “Yes, I do. You can’t explain because you two are in pain. What can we do about that?”

Roman swallowed and squeezed Remus’s hand a little. It was still comforting.

“Please don’t get mad at us for this!”

Patton frowned at the guilty whine and shook his head vehemently.

“Why would I be mad? Of course, I won’t be mad at you! I just want to help!”

Remus snorted and Roman sighed.

“Okay”, Roman gave in and started to explain, “but try to not freak out too much. So, uhm, the thing is, there is some stuff all of us can do, what actual people can’t do. Like conjuring stuff, shapeshift, teleport, sinking out, uhm-”

“And heal”, Patton added after Roman had broken off so abruptly.

“Well, yeah, but actually no.”

“Wait, what? And what were all those gruesome things I saw you doing to yourself?” Virgil protested with growing agitation in his chest.

Remus’s grin was wide and fake. He wasn’t sure why but it was the only way how he could tell them.

Patton on the other hand, hadn’t entirely understood what was happening. He was not sure how the explanation connected with the brother’s pain and why he would be angry at them for-

“Wait, Roman, you are in physical pain? You are injured?”

Roman didn’t manage to meet his eyes. He only nodded.

“How did you get injured? How did you get hurt?”

Roman looked up. He thought about asking him again to not to get mad. He decided to not say it and just told him: “I set a fire in the imagination.”

Silence.

“What?”

“I didn’t want to, it – it just! It just happened when I went inside and- it's not so bad with me-”

“You sat in the fucking flames!” Logan shouted across the room but Roman just kept rambling to Patton.

“Fire isn’t so bad with me! I – I can stand it quite well and will heal good for me but. Uhm.”

Roman’s voice broke. He took a deep breath.

“It hurt Remus. He pulled me out. He got burnt because of me and I can’t help him and I – I will explain everything, I will – please just help him for – for me.”

“Of course, I will heal you, Remus”, Patton said to him as calm as he could, “if you want me to. If you’d be more comfortable with Janus or Logan, I’m sure they would do it in a snap.”

Remus chuckled seemingly jolly.

“Oh, I think that won’t do. J’s a decent healer but he won’t be able to fix this. You’ll have to do it yourself, if you want to get Roman’s allowance to heal him.”

Patton wanted to protest and tell Remus that he did not heal him so he could heal Roman, but because he wanted to, but decided against it. Neither of the twins seemed to be quite lucid and Patton chose to believe that the pain both felt was a reason for it. So, Patton took a deep breath, smiled to Remus and told him: “Then I’ll gladly heal you. Now, do you want to get somewhere else or are you all right with doing it here? Because I need to see where the burns are and I need to be able to directly touch them.”

“Oh, here is fine! I’m not prude!” Remus chirped and snapped his top away.

“Also, the face, Ree. Don’t forget the face”, Roman reminded him and skid a little to the side.

Roman stared in his lap while Patton silently continued to heal Remus. Those who observed him closely found that there were tears dropping down his face.

“Thanks Pat!” Remus said and with a snap conjured himself a t-shirt.

“Don’t sweat it kiddo”, Patton answered with a half grin and eyed Roman from the corner of his eye.

“Ro?”

Remus’s voice was surprisingly soft. His look was almost softer when he got Roman to look at him. The Prince winced and Remus tilted his head to the side and put his hand gently on his shoulder.

“It’s okay. Your pride’s being a bitch again, though. Shut her up.”

Roman almost snickered at that word choice and brushed Remus’s hand from his shoulder. Just like that he found enough energy within himself to look up to Patton and slid towards him on the couch.

“Okay. Uhm. It will look really, really bad. Trust me. But it will probably heal a lot better than you would think”, Roman said quietly and started to fumble with the hems of his sleeves.

Patton nodded kindly and Roman pressed his lips together. Patton cleared his throat and told Roman as he struggled to do anything next: “We can leave the room. It is no trouble at all.”

For a second, Roman stopped and tried to regain posture. He was being stupid, he knew, but the act of undressing himself gave him the sense of a little control. And that was all he had at the moment.

Inhale. Hold. Exhale.

“I’m going to drop the illusion now. I will close my eyes. I will not open them again until you are finished, Patton.”

“Okay”, Patton told him without breaking eye contact.

At last Roman nodded and closed his eyes. And dropped the illusion.

Silence. A sharp inhale and the sound of breathing before somebody started to hyperventilate.

With that only Patton, Roman, Remus and Logan remained in the room who all made an effort to be deadly quiet.

Patton took a moment to inspect Roman as a whole. The calves were unharmed as was the back part of the tights. Roman must have been kneeling, so that these parts could have been untouched.

Patton instructed Roman to move his toes. Carefully, Patton observed the expression in Roman’s face as he followed his ask and then went on to heal the front part of his tights.

But Remus knew better than that. He knew that now was not the time and he would be able to handle better later with Roman’s help.

“Please tilt your head a little upwards”, Patton instructed Roman who followed with an agreeing huff.

That he never tried to love it before.

Patton took his hands away from Roman’s face and refreshed his smile. Softly Patton then told Roman: “I’m finished!”

Remus hands was again in Roman’s and both felt save. It was good to know where the other was, it was good to feel the other. It had been too long. Far too long.

Roman focused back on Patton. The smile on the Dad’s face was a tad too cheery and Roman tiredly grinned at him.

“You couldn’t restore everything, right?”

Patton kept smiling while pressing his lips together.

“No, I couldn’t.”

“It’s the face, right?” Roman inquired with a smile and reached for his face.

Remus slapped his hand away way from his face and scolded Roman: “Don’t! It’ll heal better if you don’t touch it!”

“Says the idiot who couldn’t stop picking on his fucking stiches!” Roman bit back but didn’t try to touch his face again.

“It’s good padre. Thank you. Thank you so much.”

He was supposed to know what Roman was fighting for. And maybe he did. But he was also supposed to know why he was fighting for his brother, for his desires, for his recognition.

And he didn’t.

Patton drove with his hand over his face and turned back to look at the others. They had a ton of work to do and no idea where to start.

This would get messy.

#roman sanders #remus sanders #brotherly creativitwins #janus sanders #patton sanders #logan sanders #virgil sanders #burnt skin #burns #panic attack #The Lie of Black and White #sanders sides fanfiction #eir writes #repost #angst with a happy ending

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