#person b: *continues unreasonably bitching*

[thespoonisvictory]

Hamilton Hot Take: A Hamilton that kept in the deleted songs and workshop versions tell a superior story (So Broadway vs Off-Broadway version). And, no, I’m not just talking about Congratulations (although that one should’ve also been kept).

A significant part of Hamilton’s narrative focuses on the relationship between Burr and Hamilton. From the beginning, their ideologies and the way they get ahead are completely different. Burr keeps his true opinions and thoughts close to his chest. He never reveals anymore than what will make him most agreeable to others. His persona is one of inoffensively likable. Hamilton is quite the opposite. He is never indecisive, always shooting off his own opinions. He takes risks in order to grab at better opportunities, but often this leads him to gathering more enemies. And despite these differences, Hamilton and Burr remain good friends who have a lot of mutual respect (and envy) of one another.

Until the second act that is. And the second act is also unfortunately where things start getting cut and rewritten.

As the dsmp fandom would put it, Broadway A. Hamilton is made “smooth” compared to his original counterpart. He’s much calmer and more reasonable. He’s pride and short temper have been stripped away. And Burr, in comparison, is stripped of much of his more sympathetic traits. Aside from Dear Theodosisa (Reprise) and really any mention of his family being entirely cut, he’s made to be far more malicious and villainous in other songs, compared to their original lyrics.

Take for example, Schuyler Defeated. Both versions start on Eliza and Philip finding out about Eliza’s father being challenged for his seat in the senate. In the Broadway version, Eliza is very unconcerned with this development and she and Philip leave the song as quickly as they entered, happy to go and meet the new senator. The original, in contrast, starts out with a panicked Eliza, desperate to find Alexander because she knows exactly how he’ll take this. Hamilton’s characterization also vastly changes depending on the version. Broadway Hamilton is very calm, innocently asking about Burr’s change in party affiliation. Meanwhile, og Hamilton comes out swinging, already furious, he demands to know when Burr changed parties. Hamilton is far more personally offended in this version, framing Burr running against Schuyler as an attempt to “make a fool of [him],” compared to to the Broadway version where he seems more offended on behalf of his father-in-law. The only thing that stops Hamilton from doing anything stupid for what is essentially just running for senate AND not the personal attack Hamilton views it as, is Eliza and, later in the deleted song “Let It Go,” Washington talking him down from it.

Another example is the Broadway vs original versions of “Your Obedient Servant.” The Broadway version is undoubtedly framed in a deeply negative light. He is furious, unable to understand Hamilton’s support of Jefferson, viewing it as an attempt to keep him from winning, as something done to spite Burr specifically. Meanwhile, the original Burr is more calm in level headed in explaining his feelings. In both versions, Burd makes accusations towards Hamilton. In the original, he backs up his claims with a source in the form of a private letter sent in confidant, while Broadway Burr makes accusations of Hamilton calling him “amoral [and] a dangerous disgrace,” which is never said by Hamilton anywhere and has no basis. This combined with Burr already suggestion they can name a time and place I’d they have a disagreement, makes Burr come across as far more petty and eager to start a fight. Faced with accusation with no basis, Broadway Hamilton responds fairly reasonably, saying he would need to sight a specific source for him to be able to disavow those words, and provides his own list of disagreements with. Original Hamilton, however, is very flippant of the accusations, being incredibly petulant in denying Burr’s accusations, mocking the wording of them. And yes, while both Burr’s escalate the conversations to threats, the Hamilton’s responses show just how different these versions. Broadway Hamilton stands by what he says and defending himself by saying that everything he said is true and that Burr stands for nothing. Which is completely true, so Burr then challenging Hamilton to a duel makes Burr seem unreasonable and angry that Hamilton pointed out how his own ideology screwed him over. While original Hamilton makes the whole disagreement incredibly personal, for no reason, bringing up Burr’s dead wife to mock him. It’s only then that Burr challenges Hamilton to a duel, to which Hamilton agrees to almost immediately, showing how rash the original Hamilton is, compared to the Broadway version who thinks the challenge over for a few seconds before agreeing.

And finally, “Ten Things, One Things,” really shows how far their friendship and understanding of each other has fallen off. Burr’s perspective shows how much he wants Hamilton to apologize and back down from the duel, only realizing at the 8th count that this is a serious duel, and Hamilton won’t be backing down. Meanwhile Hamilton goes into the duel considering the possibility they might die, but as the counting continues he becomes more and more convinced he and Burr will survive. He is specifically is assured of this by realizing it’s not in Burr’s political interests to kill him. While Hamilton scrutizes the area, Burr’s own fear and paranoia takes hold, convinced Hamilton will shoot, Burr resolves to kill Hamilton first, so his daughter will not orphaned. All the while, is so assured of his safety that he starts to think about going to back to his house to see Eliza awaken. Neither one of them are able to fathom the possibility of the other outside of the image they’ve created of each other. Hamilton cannot see a Burr that wouldn’t wait, and Burr cannot see a Hamilton who would throw away his shot.

Far more emphasize is placed on Hamilton’s violent anger in the original, while in the Broadway version this is lost and Burr is pained more as the unreasonable instigator in their deteriorating friendship, when the original makes it so much more complicated than that. Broadway is so much more Black and White in the story it tells, where the villain Burr shoots our hero Hamilton, rather than the far more interesting story of a friendship between two men based on mutual respect, admiration, and envy and how that friendship ultimately changed both until they could no longer understand each other and how that inability to see how the other had changed, led to their ultimate falling out in the form of final duel.

I’m not saying the workshop versions of songs are better musically (I know jack shit about music) but they make Hamilton’s characterization and relationship with Burr so much richer and that’s why the story they tell is so much better to me.

TLDR; Hamilton is less of bitch in the Broadway version and it makes me >:(

I hope this makes sense, I started to ramble

^^^

god damn this is so good idk what to do with this other than nod and tell you to run my blog for me

also- this reminds me of what happened to off broadway orpheus vs live broadway orpheos, bc ob!orpheus is a self confident bitch who was charismatic and funny and I like him so much, and b!orpheus is a awkward little rat creature who doesn't make as much sense both as a character and in the narrative. he got smoothed

#asks #spoon talks musicals #I could talk a lot about the orpheus comparison

[dialovers-translations]

Diabolik Lovers GRAND EDITION for Switch ;; More, Blood ー Mukami Prologue

Monologue

ーー I asked him for eternal life.

As he looked back at me with a straight face,

a sudden laughter erupted from his lips and he spoke.

Rather than living peacefully as a pig,

I would rather suffer as a human. (1)

With a feeling of satisfaction, I gazed back at him.

I did not even have to say,

that this was exactly the answer I was looking for.

He continued.

I want you to watch over the entirety of the human world.

Since my life will soon to come an end.

I nodded while laughing.

Despite its casual, hasty nature,

I was strongly aware of the fact that,

our promise was more important than anything else.

I shall become his eyes and keep watch.

Until the end of time...

How people and those who are not human meet,

and continue to mingle with each other.

Without a doubt, this must be my duty, as someone who was given eternal life.

Taking the place of he who has set his mind on menkind’s knowledge,

seeking out the ultimate truth and therefore has chosen,

to live as a human...

???: However, I am in despair.  By this feeling of loss.

What has been lost? I do not need to give the answer...

As the person who ate the apple...Continued to live on...We lost something truly valuable.

Everything degenerated, rotting away, falling victim

to what is known as corruption... (2)

*Tick tick*

???: There is no other way. Our new Eve...I shall leave everything in your hands.

*SHATTER*

Yui: ...!?

( Something made...an incredibly loud noise just now...? )

ー Yui awakens in her room

Yui: ...!?

( It sounded incredibly close...As if something got destroyed...But nothing seems to be wrong...? )

Am I just imagining thi...Eh? Waah!?

Ayato: Zzー .... Zzー ... The octopus...The octopus is...Its legs...

Yui: A-Ayato-kun!? Why are you here? ...Wait, octopus!?

( I should have been alone when I fell asleep yesterday...Wait, huh...!? )

Laito: Nfu...~ Bitch-chan...Come on...My mouth’s right ・ over・ here~ ♪

Yui: Laito-kun as well...

( On top of that...He seems to be having a weird dream. ...I don’t even want to imagine it... )

Kanato: Uunnー ...Teddy...I can’t...eat no more...Mm...

Yui: Kanato-kun too...

( Haah...I thought I was having some kind of strange dream, but at some point, these triplets muts have snuck inside my bed... )

*Rustle*

Yui: ( I’ll quietly sneak out...Trying my best not to wake them... )

Ayato: ... ーー Hold it.

ー Ayato moves on top of her

Yui: Eh...!?

Ayato: Where are you trying to go, leaving me behind? Chichinashi.

Yui: ...Ayato-kun...Y-You were awake...?

Ayato: ‘You’re awake’, my ass. (3) Answer my question.

Yui: Where...? ...Well...I’m a little thirsty so...Could you get off me?

Ayato: Don’t wanna.

Yui: B-But...I’m just...gonna go have a sip of water...Promised.

Laito: ーー You’re such a naughty girl, Bitch-chan~

Yui: Laito-kun...!?

Laito: Instead of you...We are the ones who are truly parched, you see~? Fufufu...

As your owners, soothing our parched throats should come first, right? Nfu...~

Yui: Y...You may say that but...

Kanato: Exactly...I figured you would get the gist by now, without us having to actually say it out.

Yui: Kanato-kun, you too...!?

Kanato: ...You are ridiculing us. It seems like you were wrongly assuming that you can act of your own accord just because we were asleep.

Yui: That’s not...

Kanato: Admit it...!

Yui: No...Even if you ask me to admit it...

( This is bad...By this point, it’s already too late to complain about their unreasonable requests so it can’t be helped, but...At this rate... )

Ayato: Oi, Kanato. Who cares ‘bout that bullshit. Move. I just woke up and I’m totally parched.

Chichinashi, let me suck you...

Yui: ( ...! Of course it turns out like this! )

*Rustle*

Ayato: ーー Hehehe...Keep still.

Yui: W-Wait...!!

Laito: Geez, Ayato-kun. You can’t hog her for yourself, you know? Nfu~

Did you forget about our gentlemen’s agreement which states Bitch-chan belongs to aaaaall of us~?

Ayato: Idiot. I’m not keeping her to myself or anything. It just means I get to suck her first.

Laito: I don’t like that excuse of yours...

Kanato: He’s right...Please don’t decide that by yourself.

Ayato: Shut up...Then why don’t we just all suck her at the same time!?

Laito: Nfu~ That’s what I like to hear! ...Aah, Bitch-chan writhing around in pleasure...

While being ganged up on by three Vampires...Just by imagining it...Haah, it gives me chills...!

Yui: ...W-Wait...That’s...

Ayato: What’s the matter? ...Aah? Aren’t you happy? You lewd woman...No point in still hiding it, we all know you love this. ...Don’t you?

Kanato: Fufu...Exactly. You love being toyed around with like this...almost if we’re treating you like a little doll.

Yui: That’s not true...!

Laito: Haah...No point in talking back when your cheeks are flushed like that...I’ve pretty much reached my limit...

Please give me your...delicious blood~ ♪

*Rustle*

Yui: ...!!

( A-At this rate, all three of them will...But...!! )

*Thump*

Yui: ...Not right now...!!

( My body...won’t move as I want it to. )

Ayato: Hehehe...Haah...Only your blood is of the finest quality, Chichinashi...

ーー Here I come. I’ll trust my fangs right into you...Deeply...Pushing the limits...

Kanato: Haah...Hey, look this way...Look at me...

Open your eyes wide, and watch from begining till end, okay? ...Fufu...

Yui: I can’t...!!

Reiji: That’s enough!

Yui: ...!?

Reiji: Haah...You lot, are you truly trying to have your fill in such a way first thing in the morning?

Not only is it shameful, but it shows of no manners. Honestly, you should be ashamed of yourself.

Yui: Reiji-san...

( T-Thank god...! )

Ayato: Che...What’s your problem...? Things were just ‘bout to get good...You should just join us too, Four-eyes!

Reiji: In your dreams. Furthermore, I wish you’d refrain from using said nickname.

Come on, you too. Don’t just stand there with that dumb expression of yours and come over here.

ー Reiji pulls her closer

Yui: Ah...!

Reiji: Those fools snuck into your bed because you carelessly exposed your sleeping figure to them.

Yui: I...I’m sorry...

Reiji: Haah...I cannot help but doubt whether you are truly reflecting upon your actions or not.

Yui: ( I did lock my door before going to bed though... )

Reiji: Well then, you lot should stop lazing around and get up as well!

Laito: Haahー ...When your delicious snack gets confiscated right in front of your eyes, it’s hard to find the motivation to do so.

Kanato: My thoughts exactly...If I collapse at school, it’ll be yours...and Reiji’s fault, understood?

Yui: But...!

Reiji: Kanato. I am more than aware that your body is much more sturdy than it looks like.

You too, Laito! This ‘movation’ you speak of something that only shows itself in front of women, is it not?

Laito: Nfu~ Seems like you know me veeeeery well...Haah...

Guess it can’t be helped. Guess I’ll go and kill some time at school then...

Reiji: I will not take responsiblity if you get expelled again. Father warned you that there will be no second chances as well.

Laito: So scary...Nfu...~

ー Laito steps out of the room

Ayato: Che...Oi, Chichinashi! If you think you’re getting away with this, you’re gravely mistaken!

ー Ayato leaves as well

Kanato: Exactly...! Until I’ve had your blood...This anger inside of me will not settle down, so brace yourself!

ー Kanato steps away at last

Yui: Phew...

Reiji: It’s too early to sigh in relief. You should reconsider your own position as well.

Do you understand? That your blood...

ー He moves closer

Yui: ...!?

Reiji: Is more special than anyone else’s...

Yui: That’s...I’m trying to understand to the best of my abilities but...

Reiji: If you understand, don’t you think you should be a little more careful? ...Of me.

...Why are you turning your head away?

Yui: N-No...Well...Your face is awfully close so...Besides...

Reiji: Furthermore...?

Yui: Y-Your hands are on my hips...

Reiji: This is to lecture you, making sure you properly understand the situation you are currently in.

Yui: ( Uuuu...Reiji-san’s kind of...silent and scary... )

Please let go...

ー He steps away

Reiji: If you understand now, please take into account your current situation a little more, would you?

It feels as if the finest of feasts has a ribbon wrapped around it, wandering freely and up for grabs, so to speak.

It is a nuisance, frankly speaking. Although the other brothers do not seem to realize that.

Reiji: I am not the kind of person to lunge at and greedily devour a meal as soon as I lay my eyes on it, nor do I wish to do so.

However, if you continue to be this defenseless, even someone as myself will no longer be able to suppress my instincts with reason.

See, like this...

*Rustle*

Yui: ...!?

( E-Even Reiji-san...!? )

Yui: S...Stop...!!

ー She closes her eyes

Reiji: You truly are a fool.

Yui: ...Eh!?

W-Were you teasing me?

Reiji: Please do not ask me questions when the answer should be obvious.

Are you disappointed? That you didn’t get your blood sucked by me...?

Yui: That’s not...

Reiji: Well then, get ready already! The limousine will be to pick us up in twenty minutes.

Yui: Yes...

ーー Ah, furthermore...How is your heart’s condition?

Yui: Eh...!?

Reiji: Fufu...Well then...

ー Reiji leaves the room

Yui: ( Somehow...Reiji-san seemed very to speak some very profound words just now... )

Haah...Better get ready...

Monologue

Almost one month has passed since I came to this Sakamaki Manor,

after my father, a Priest at the Church, had to relocate abroad for his job.

It might be rude of this to say all these things,

considering they are looking after me. However, the people living here,

are somewhat strange.

The ones sleeping in my bed earlier were the triplets,

Ayato-kun, Kanato-kun and Laito-kun.

The person who came to warn us midway,

is the second eldest son, Reiji-san.

I have yet to interact with them today,

but there’s also the eldest son Shuu-san,

and the youngest child Subaru-kun. The six of them are living here.

This may sound like a made-up story, but they are ーー

A family of six Vampires.

Furthermore, I’ve been told that I possess special blood and a special heart,

so I am being observed as their prey.

putting me into a position where I cannot run away.

I usually get to lead a fairly normal lifestyle,

attending the night school for students with special circumstances,

known as Ryoutei academy, however...

Yui: ( Haah...I’m living with a bunch of Vampires and on top of that, they are feeding off my blood. This can’t be called ‘normal’ at all... )

( That being said...I wonder why Reiji-san suddenly asked about my heart...? )

Monologue

...I only found out about this after coming here,

but apparently my heart has been transplanted inside of me,

from Cordelia, who conincidentally happens to be the mother of the triplets.

I do not know the details either,

but a person called Richter who is their uncle,

transplanted the heart inside of me, or so they say.

On top of that, as the daughter of the Demon Lord,

Cordelia is from a special bloodline, so as long as her heart remains intact,

it would be possible to ressurect her.

The reason why my blood is special as well,

can be attributed to Cordelia’s - the daughter of the Demon Lord - heart,

which has been buried inside of me...

Yui: ( However, it is weird how it is acting up only now, right...? Am I just imagining things? )

*TIMESKIP*

Yui: Okay, I have to get going soon.

( If I run late, I’ll be scolded by Reiji-san again. )

ー Yui leaves her room and steps outside into the hallway

Yui: Uhm...I didn’t forget anything, right...? If I recall correctly, today it’s Japanese (5), maths and English...Did I leave my dictionnary at school?

Ah, I have to return this one book to the library as well. I believe the return date is either today or tomorrow...

ー Yui trips over something

*Rustle*

Yui: ...!? Eh...?

Shuu: Ow...

Yui: S-Shuu-san...!?

( While lost in thought...I accidentally stepped on him... )

Shuu: I was asleep, you know...? Waking me up by stepping on me, huh...?

Yui: I-I’m so sorry...!!

( B-But...Sleeping in the hallway is kind of... )

Shuu: Haah...Che...I’m wide awake now...

Yui: I’m sorry...I really am.

Shuu: Nothing will change even if you apologize.

Yui: But, what should I do then...?

Shuu: What a pain...Do you really not get it unless I spell it out for you?

Yui: Eh...!? Kyah...!!

ー He pins her against the wall

*THUD*

Shuu: Blood, of course? If you want to make it up to me...That’s the only pausible solution, right?

Yui: ...No way...I do feel bad for stepping on you, but...

Shuu: If you feel bad...There’s something only you can do, right?

Yui: ...!?

Shuu: Beg for me to suck your blood. ...That’ll make up for it.

Yui: ( N-No way...That’s just asking for too much...! (6) )

Shuu: ...Seems like I haven’t disciplined you quite enough yet...

Yui: ...!!

Subaru: Oi, you’re in the way.

Shuu: ...Ah?

Yui: ...Subaru-kun...?

Subaru: Don’t make a fuckin’ fuss in the middle of the hallway.

Shuu: Don’t interrupt my breakfast...

Subaru: Che. Don’t go latching onto her first thing in the morning!

Shuu: ...Shut up. ...Whatever. Just go already and take her with you.

Subaru: ...Che. Let’s go.

Yui: Ah...Y-Yeah...

ー Yui leaves with Subaru

Yui: ( I wonder if...Subaru-kun saved me just now? )

U-Uhm...Subaru-kun...Thank you for ear...

*THUD*

Subaru: Cut it out already!

Yui: ...!?

Subaru: Do you even know your own position!? ...Stop wanderin’ round while giving off that sweet scent!

Yui: Y-You may say that...but...

Subaru: I won’t stop you if you wish to to run into trouble like that. However, if you don’t, then use that brain of yours already.

Yui: ...I’m sorry...Reiji-san told me the same thing earlier...

Subaru: Che. Then be more careful! I’m sure even you know what kind of fate lies ahead of a prey who carelessly loiters inside a beast’s cage.

Yui: Yeah...Sorry...

Subaru: Hmph. Don’t apologize to me, it’s annoying. Actually...Why did you choose to remain here despite the circumstances?

Yui: Why, you ask...?

Subaru: Have you never considered living by yourself if you don’t have any other place to go to? You do have a head sitting on top of your shoulders, don’t you?

Yui: Mmh...

Subaru: Haah...Fuck! Why am I this irritated!? I don’t get it!

Reiji: ーー Everyone! The limousine has arrived!

Subaru: ...Hmph. Whatever.

ー Subaru walks away

Yui: ( ...Haah...He left. )

Monologue

Subaru-kun’s reasoning is flawless.

If I desperately tried to run away,

it might just have been possible.

Yet, the reason I’ve decided to stay here is...

Honestly, I can’t explain it very well myself either.

Of course, the fact they threatened to kill me if I run plays a part in it too.

However, regardless of that, I feel like something inside of me,

is telling me that I should remain here.

I also figured that because my heart has been transferred inside of me,

from Ayato-kun and the other’s mother, which is what eventually led to me,

wanting to stay here.

However, just maybe...

Staying here and having them suck my blood,

might just be something I wish for myself,

is what I find myself thinking.

Yui: ( I can’t just blame this heart of mine. I just don’t get myself anymore... )

*TIMESKIP*

ー Everyone is sitting in the limousine

Reiji: Good grief...I am impressed by you guys’ skill to make such a ruckus over something as simple as who sits where.

Ayato: But it’s hella important? This girl’s blood belongs to us all, right?

Kanato: Exactly...I have to keep a close eye so she doesn’t get taken from right underneath my nose...

Yui: ...

Subaru: ...Oi, Yui. What are you spacing out for?

Yui: ...

Laito: Nfu~ Seems like she’s lost in thought. Hey, I know that you just can’t keep your mind off me but...~

Subaru: ...Is it my fault?

Shuu: She’s just sleepy, right?

Subaru: She’s not you, you know!? ...Oi, Yui!

Yui: Eh!? Ah...

Kanato: ...I’m surprised you still have the nerve to be lost in thought in this situation. Right, Teddy? ...This girl is so awfully inconsiderate...

Yui: I-I’m sorry. Did you try and talk to me?

Subaru: ...Che. Not really.

Yui: R-Really...?

( No good...I can’t get what happened earlier off my mind... )

( Once I started thinking about why I haven’t ran away... )

ー The car suddenly comes to a halt

Yui: Eh...!?

Ayato: Woah...!?

Laito: Heeh? What is happening...!?

*CRASH*

Yui: Kyaaaaaah...!!

ー The screen fades to white

( W-What on earth happened...? Was that an...accident just now? )

???: Have you awakened, Eve?

Yui: Eh...!? You are...?

???: Me? Are you interested in knowing who I am?

Yui: Of course I am...Actually, where am I...!?

???: Fufu. Eve is quite curious it seems. You, who does not fear losing something...You are the very definition of Eve.

Yui: U-Uhm...My name...isn’t Eve. Aren’t you mistaken me for someone?

???: ...To tell the truth, I am just a little embarrassed, knowing I should not to be doing this.

However, you have kept me waiting a little too long.

Even though I counted on your strength, waiting for the apple to ripen naturally...

The apple rotted away instead...It simply can’t be helped, so I have summoned you back here.

Yui: U-Uhm...

???: What do you think caused its degeneration?

Yui: Eh...?

???: I suppose you don’t? ...Very well. The next time you meet, I shall have you know...

ー The mysterious man fades away

Yui: ...!? W-Wait...!!

Ayato: Oi, Chichinashi!

Yui: ...!?

Kanato: Ah, seems like she has awakened...Geez...Don’t scare us like that.

Yui: Who was that man earlier...?

Laito: The man from earlier? Who are you talking about?

Reiji: I wonder if she is confused by the shock of the accident. Good grief...Don’t cause us trouble.

Yui: Accident...? Ah, right...What happened...? I...

Shuu: Geez...You’ve been unconscious.

Yui: Eh...!?

Reiji: While it is a relief to see you are unharmed...We were just walking about where the culprit has run off to.

They sure have guts, pulling a hit-and-run on us like that.

Ayato: Do you think a human is behind it?

Reiji: Our car is being driven by a familiar, you know? I doubt this is the work of a human.

Laito: Hmー Then it would have to be someone from the Demon World...Or a blood relative of one of the creatures of the dark, I suppose?

Kanato: That seems very pausible, don’t you think?

Subaru: Well, our family has plenty of enemies after all. I wouldn’t call this unusual.

Shuu: Ahー ...This sucks. Honestly, I don’t give a damn...Haah...

Reiji: Either way, let us step away for now. We can leave the clean up to the familiars.

Yui: I-Is it okay for us...to just leave like that?

Reiji: If we stay behind, it will only cause more trouble, I’d assume. Or would you perhaps like to stay here by yourself?

Yui: N-No...

( ...I wonder what happened? Is everything really okay...? )

( Who could be targeting them? Besides...Who is that person...Who appeared in my dream earlier...? )

( Am I just...overthinking things? )

ー The scene shifts to a back alley

???: ...Seems like it was a success.

???: Fufu...Those guys...They realized Vampires were behind it. Is that okay?

???: Keh...! Who cares...Our cover will be blown soon enough. Nothin’ to worry ‘bout.

???: ...So that girl is...Eve.

???: Hmph. She looked as if she had completely submitted to those guys...Yet she is supposed to be Eve? ...Don’t make me laugh.

???: You think so? I don’t dislike girls like her. ...They’re worth playing around with, you know?

???: If you wish to turn her into your toy, then go for another girl. That man seems to have taken a liking to her after all. Let’s go.

???: Rogerー ...Haah...

???: She kind of...has the same scent...

*TIMESKIP*

ー Yui has arrived at school by now

Ayato: ーー But you know, it’s been a while since we’ve gotten directly targeted like that, right?

Laito: Good point. Honestly...Ever since that guy made a name for himself this world (7), we haven’t been caught by surprise. Nfu~

Yui: Did those kind of happenings...occur often before?

Kanato: ...They did, every now and then. We’ve been targeted plenty of times.

Yui: How come...?

Laito: Nfu~ ...Because this world is full of fools, I assume? They never stop trying to try and steal that man’s throne. They should just give it a break.

Yui: ( ‘That man’ is their father, right...? The politician, Sakamaki Tougo... )

( To think that someone whose name was not foreign to me would turn out to be a Vampire... )

( I haven’t noticed, but there might actually be quite a few people who are not human in this world... )

???: Ah! There you are!!

Ayato: Haah? The fuck are you...?

???: Eh? Me? I’m Reinhart. The school doctor.

Laito: Hmー? The school doctor...That’s odd. I’m pretty sure we had a female school doctor up until now...

Reinhart: Ah, she is currently on maternity leave, so I will be taking her place from today onwards.

Laito: ...Hmmー ...I see...

Yui: U-Uhm...Sensei. Is something the matter?

Reinhart: Ah, right. I’d actually like to have a talk with you.

Ayato: ...Oi, you bastard...I don’t get what you’re suddenly here for!? The fuck are you planning?

Reinhart: Aah, my bad. When I spotted you bunch earlier, I realized she looked a little pale...

Yui: Eh, me? I don’t really...feel bad or anything...

Laito: Why not? Let’s go to the infirmary. That’s much better than continuing to listen to those boring lectures in class.

Ayato: Laito, you jerk...I won’t let you hog all the fun for yourself.

Laito: Don’t accuse me of such things. I’m not doing any of that. Nfu~ They call this ‘skipping’.

I consider this a humble gift by Bitch-chan, which I shall gladly accept. Why don’t you two do the same?

Kanato: Laito does have a point. ...Let us go. Sensei, do there happen to be any sweets over at the infirmary?

Reinhart: ...Seems like have a bunch of weird ‘knights in shining armor’ surroudning you, huh?

Yui: R-Right...

( ...They’re all Vampires though, so ‘knights’ doesn’t exactly fit them... )

ー They all head towards the infirmary

Yui: That being said, I’m surprised you were able to judge by condition from so far away, sensei.

Reinhart: Hmー ...Your aura seemed a little...

Yui: Aura!?

Reinhart: Hahaha. I just end up spotting those. Ah, but I might just have been a mistake on my part.

Yui: ( Auras...Can you really tell someone’s condition by that...? )

Laito: Hey hey, sensei~ What color is this girl’s aura? My guess would be a vibrant pink.

Reinhart: Hahaha. It’s kind of difficult to attach a color to it...However, if I had to pick...Mouse grey (8)...?

Yui: Mouse grey...!?

Kanato: Mice? Fufu...That fits you perfectly. You look exactly like a common rat after all...

Reinhart: It’s a vague color which hasn’t quite become black, yet cannot be called white either. The aura of someone who has a lot of doubts in their heart.

Ayato: Heeh, Chichinashi. Do you have any worries other than the fact that you’re flat as a board?

Yui: T-That’s horrible...! O-Of course...Even I have...plenty on my mind...

Reinhart: ...

Yui: Sensei?

Reinhart: How are you feeling? Are you really okay?

Yui: Ah, yes...Thanks to you...

( If anything, I’m in better shape than usual! It’s like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders... )

Reinhart: ーー I see.

Yui: ...?

Ayato: Geez, humans really are so weak and useless. Oi, teach, at least offer us something to drink.

Reinhart: Oh dear...Classes will resume soon. Let’s postpone our tea time to some other occassion.

Ayato: Aah!? What did you just say?

Laito: I’d love to stay in this bed a little longer though. Come on, Bitch-chan, you should join me as well. It’ll be fun~?

Yui: I-I’m going to class!

Kanato: ...I’m not going. Right, Teddy?

Reinhart: Come on, don’t say that. Here, I’ll give you a candy.

Kanato: ...Heh. I see you are trying to bribe me with your puny candies. However, I’ll be so kind to accept it.

Yui: Sensei, thank you very much!

Reinhart: No need to thank me. If you’re in trouble, feel free to drop by any tim.

Yui: Yes!

( He’s such a nice person, looking out for the students who seem to be in bad shape... )

( Lately I’ve been surrounded by nothing but those kind of people, it must have affected me... )

ー They leave the infirmary

Reinhart: ...

ー The scene changes back to the hallway

Laito: ...Don’t you think that sensei was a little suspicious?

Yui: Eh?

Ayato: You do have a point. ...How do I put it...He smelled really fishy.

Yui: Y-You think so? I think he’s normal though...Aren’t you just being paranoid because of what happened earlier...?

Kanato: ...That’s not it!!

Yui: ...!?

Kanato: That guy...is definitely fond of you...

Yui: Eh!?

Laito: Nfu~ Did you think so too, Kanato-kun? Exactly. So suspicious~

Yui: That’s not true...!

He’s the school doctor after all, I’m sure he’s just looking after the physical health of the students, for sure.

Ayato: Aren’t you being a little too cheeky for a Chichinashi, aah?

Yui: ...

( I don’t like where this is going...I feel as if things would go south if somebody were to spot us now... )

W-We’ll be late for class, you know!? Let’s go!

ー Yui runs away

Ayato: Ah! Oi!! Wait!

Yui: ( If I get too deeply involved in them, no amount of blood will do! )

*TIMESKIP*

*Ding dong - Ding dong*

Yui: Uuー ... Somehow today...I’m even more exhausted than usual, I feel...

Female student A: Ah, Komori-san. Sorry, but could I ask you for a favor?

Yui: What’s wrong?

Female student A: I have to hurry home you see. Can you take over my cleaning duty? (9)

Yui: Yeah, I don’t mind.

Female student A: Really!? You’re my savior! Thank you!

ー The female students runs off

Yui: ( Well then...The limousine got destroyed today, so I doubt it’ll come and pick us up...I’ll head home after everything is spick and span...! )

*TIMESKIP*

Yui: Phew...This should do.

( Come to think of it...Where did Ayato-kun and the others run off to? )

( Usually they’d wait here in this classroom for our ride to come pick us up... )

Oh well, I’m sure they’ll return eventually? I’ll go take out the trash.

*TIMESKIP*

ー Yui has moved to the back garden

Yui: And now I’m done...

???: Is it okay for a livestock such as yourself to leave its master side and wander around by themselves?

Yui: Eh?

( Who’s this? I’ve never seen him...An upperclansman, perhaps? )

???: Fuck off with your stupid ‘Eh?’...! My ass!!

*THUD*

Yui: Eh!? What are you doing...!?

???: We were finally...able to talk to you...Eve...

Yui: ...Eve!?

( Actually...The person I met in that dream also called me ‘Eve’, did he not...? )

???: Hey, hey~ No need to be so frightened. ♪ You should become friends with us as well, M-neko-chan ♪

Yui: ( Maso kitty...!? )

...Be friends but...When a stranger suddenly calls me by such a name, I can’t possibly...

Besides, my name isn’t Even. You’ve got the wrong person.

ー She tries to step away but gets stopped by Yuma

???: Hold it.

*Thud*

Yui: Kyah...!! L-Let me go!

*Rustle*

???: Che...Behave already...Fuck...You stupid sow...!

Yui: !?

( S...Sow!? )

ー Ruki joins in and inspects her face

???: Hmph.

Yui: ...!?

( What’s wrong with these person...He suddenly grabbed hold of my chin... )

???: Oi, Yuma...Make sure to restrain her. I feel as if this livestock would not hesitate to bare her teeth even at her master.

???: Rogerー

???: ...

Yui: ...! P-Please back off...Don’t bring your face...so close...

???: Not only are you a dimwit, but you are strong-willed as well. I fear for the future.

Yui: The future...What the heck is you guys’ problem!?

Ruki: Hmph. I have yet to name myself, right? I am Ruki...Mukami Ruki.

And the guy who is keeping you in check your right now is...

Yuma: The name’s Yuma.

Kou: I’m Kou! Nice to meet you!

Azusa: Azusa...Haah...My heart is still racing...

Yui: ...Uhm, so, did you need something from me...?

Kou: Fufu. We just transferred to this school today, you see~

Yui: Transfer students...? But, what does that have to do with it?

Ruki: ...Don’t you think you are being a little condescending? ...That is not the right way to talk to your seniors.

Yui: ...!?

Ruki: Don’t turn your head away. If you are that feisty, you should look me right in the eyes.

Yui: ...

Shuu: ...What are you guys doing?

Yui: ...Shuu-san...!?

Shuu: Haah...I ended up running straight into trouble...

However, if I leave things as if, I guess it’ll only get more troublesome...Could you let go of her?

Ruki: Hmph. ...The eldest son of the Sakamaki’s, huh? ...Oi, Yuma.

Yuma: Che. Fine. I just need to let ‘er go, right? ...Scram!

*Rustle*

Yui: ...!?

Shuu: ...

( ...That guy...? No...I must be imagining things. )

Yui: Shuu-san...!

Shuu: Just when I was wondering where you had wandered off to...Honestly...Could you not create more trouble?

Yui: S-Sorry...

ー Reiji walks up to them

Reiji: What is this ruckus about? ...Hm? You lot...

Ruki: You guys, let’s go.

Azusa: Eve...See you later...Let’s hang out again, okay...?

Kou: Bye bye~ ♪

Yuma: Che...Honestly...This pisses me off...Geez...

ー The Mukami brothers walk away

Subaru: ...Oi, the fuck was that?

Yui: ...! Subaru-kun!

Honestly, I don’t really know myself...They suddenly started talking to me...I felt as if they were mistaking me for someone else though...

Reiji: ...

Subaru: Che...

ー Laito and Ayato arrive as well

Laito: What’s this? This awkward mood...Did something happen?

Ayato: We passed by some new faces earlier, don’t tell me you...

Yui: I’m okay, Shuu-san arrived just in time...

Shuu: I haven’t really done anything.

Ayato: Next time I see them, I’ll crush them. Those creeps...

Kanato: ...Their...scent...

Subaru: It stinks...

Reiji: Hm. I see...

Yui: Reiji-san?

Reiji: ...We’re all gathered here now, so let us head back. The car is waiting for us.

Yui: Did the limousine get fixed?

Reiji: No, I arranged a different one.

Laito: Nfu~ This time for sure...I’m sitting next to Bitch-chan!

Reiji: Whatever floats your boat. Hurry up and get inside.

Yui: Ah! But my stuff...!

Reiji: A familiar will fetch it for you. Come on, hurry!

Yui: Okay...

( I wonder who those people from earlier were... )

( Do I have a doppelganger who goes by the name Eve or something...? )

( However, they seemed to talk so confidently for that to be the case... )

( ...I wonder if this is somehow related...to that person from my dream? )

*TIMESKIP*

ー They are inside the limousine

Subaru: ーー The happening when we were heading to school...

Shuu: Aah?

Subaru: Don’t you think those guys could be behind it?

Yui: Eh...?

Kanato: Probably...It is...rather fishy...

Ayato: Yeah. It reeks.

Yui: Scent? I didn’t notice that at all though...

Laito: Bitch-chan~ If you don’t stop playing dumb, I’ll punish you, okay? Not that kind of smelly. (10)

Seems like...those guys aren’t pureblood Vampires.

Yui: ...!? Those guys are Vampires!?

Reiji: You are the only person stupid enough not to realize...Good grief...After I warned you so many times.

Shuu: ...Those guys...Are they gonna attend that school from now on...?

Yui: They did tell me they were transfer students...

Shuu: On top of that, seems like they’ve already got their eye on you.

Laito: Nfu~ Shuu, you actually don’t seem relaxed for once. Are you...jealous, perhaps? Nfu...

Shuu: Shut up...I’m in a bad mood right now. My music got ruined because you guys won’t keep your damn mouths shut.

...The fact you even think of bringing up the concept of jealousy says more about you than about me...You fake pervert.

Laito: ...Do you have a death wish~?

Shuu: Hmph...Go ahead?

Yui: ( ...Everyone seems to be on the edge. I’d say I’m used to it by this point, but I guess they aren’t amused by the fact they’re being targeted. )

( I hope nothing happens... )

( Those guys might have approached me as a way to get in touch with the Sakamaki’s. )

( I don’t really understand why they called me Eve though... )

( Haah...Honestly, today really was exhausting...After taking a shower, I’ll hit the hay early today... )

*TIMESKIP*

ー Yui finds herself in an unknown room

Yui: (Eh...? )

( Where...am I? )

???: Hello there...And so we meet again.

Yui: You are...

???: I’ve casted a nifty little spell on you.

If this does not succeed, rewinding time will have been for nothing.

Yui: ...?

???: ーー Daughter of the Demon Lord, I’ve come for you.

*Thump*

Yui: ...My heart...

???: If you are there, the apple might rot again...? Well then...Come here.

*Thump*

Yui: ...!?

( His fangs are...against my neck... )

W-What are you...

???: Don’t be scared. ...Come on, close your eyes...

I have a very good reason for doing this. ...Well then, keep still. ...Nn...

*Thump*

???: Nn...

*Thump*

Yui: ( He’s...drinking my blood...? )

Sto...p...

???: ...Phew...

*Thump*

Yui: ...

( All strength is...leaving my body...What is happening? It kind of feels like...I’ll die at this rate... )

???: This should do...

Yui: ...!?

???: Fufu, seems like it worked wonderfully.

*Thump*

Yui: What did you...?

???: Fufu. Eve really is a curious girl. You should fear what lies ahead at least a little.

Well then, Eve. Now you are ready. Everyone is waiting for you.

Yui: What was that just now...?

???: Fufu...You will eventually reach the answer. ...No need to rush.

Yui: H-Hold on...Please wait! Who are you...!?

ー Yui wakes up in her room

Yui: ...!?

???: ...!

Yui: Who are you...?

???: What did you do...?

Yui: ...Are you Richter-san...?

( If I recall correctly, he’s everyone’s uncle... )

Richter: Answer me truthfully! What did you do to my dearest?

Yui: Eh...!?

Richter: Answer me right now. If not, I will rip out your heart from your body!

Yui: What are you...talking about...?

Richter: Ever since last night, her...Cordelia’s presence disappeared.

Yui: ...!?

Richter: Didn’t you pull some cheap trick!? Answer me!

ー He grabs hold of her throat

Yui: ...Stop...It hurts...!

ー Richter tightens his grip

Richter: ...!?

Don’t tell me...No way...

Yui: ...Cough...Cough cough...

ー Ayato bursts into the room

Ayato: Oi, Chichinashi. What was that just no...Huh!? Aaah!? Richter...The fuck are you doing?

Yui: A-Ayato-kun!

Richter: Ayato...Have you...realized?

Ayato: Haah? What are you talking ‘bout, for real? Are you half asleep?

Richter: No way...Brother...Kuh...I see...Not only did he know about all of this...

ー He walks away

Ayato: Oi, Richter! Where are you going!?

Richter: ...

Ayato: What’s his problem...? Oi, Chichinashi...

Yui: ...

Ayato: Chi-chi-na-shi!! Are you listening, hey!?

Yui: Ah...Yeah, I’m listening...Thank you, Ayato-kun.

Ayato: Aahー ...Fuck. ...I was finally dozing off but this totally threw me off...Pwaaah...Sleepy...

Oi, make sure to lock up properly before going to bed. If you wake me up again, give me your blood.

Yui: Yeah, goodnight.

ー Ayato leaves the room

Yui: ( What was that about just now...? )

( And once again, I saw that strange dream... )

My neck...There are bite marks after all...Are these from that dream earlier?

( Richter-san seemed very surprised to see these...Furthermore, he seemed to be grieving very strongly about something... )

ー The scene shifts to Yui’s bedroom

Yui: Ever since yesterday, it’s been one strange happening after the other...What is going on...?

Selection

→ Get some rest (S Prologue)

→ Get up (M Prologue)

Yui: Guess I’ll sleep one more time...Haah...

*Rustle*

Yui: ( But...However, I’m still shaken up from what happened earlier, I feel wide awake. )

( What should I do...? )

*TIMESKIP*

Yui: ( Haah, it’s no use...I really feel wide awake...Guess I’ll just stay awake today. )

ー She gets up from the bed

Yui: Pwaah...

( I’m not tired even though I’m yawning but for some reason, I feel really out of it... )

I’ve gotta get a grip now that I’ve decided to stay awake.

ー The scene shifts to the garden

Yui: It’s been so long since I stepped outside at this time of day...Hmm, it feels nice.

( The sun’s shining brightly and the greenery looks so refreshing...The breeze feels nice too... )

( Perhaps I should visit the garden during the day more often by myself from here on o... )

...!?

Yui: ( Dizzy spells...Am I lacking sleep after all...? )

ー It suddenly goes white before her eyes

Yui: ...!?

ー A flashback shows Yui a scene of the young Mukami brothers plotting to escape the orphanage

Yui: ( Eh...? Where is this place...? )

???: Let’s run away.

???: ...Don’t make it sound so easy! How can we escape when the adults are always keeping an eye on us?

???: Sneaking past the guards is an easy feat. All we need is money.

???: ...Are you...sure?

???: Good or bad...That doesn’t matter. For one, there really is no reason for us to stay locked up in here.

???: That’s true but...

???: The two of us will cause an uproar. We’ll set fire to the surveillance room.

???: Then use that as an opportunity?

???: ーー We’ll escape this Hell. No matter what it takes.

???: ...

???: When are we putting this plan into action? 

???: Tomorrow evening. We won’t take any luggage with us. Leave everything behind. Understood?

???: Yeah!

???: Roger.

???: If you guys...say so...

ー The flashback ends

Yui: ( ...!? What was that...just now? )

???: ーー This place is Hell.

Yui: ...!?

( What was that just now...? A daydream of some sorts...? )

( A group of children I don’t know were trying to escape from someplace...? )

...

*Rustle*

Kou: Found you~ ♪

Yui: ...!? Y-You are...

Kou: It was nice meeting you yesterday.

Yui: Mukami-san...

Kou: The name’s Kou. What’s wrong? Why are you spacing out?

Yui: Uhm...This is reality, right?

Azusa: ...It is.

Yui: ...!

Yuma: Oi! Don’t just stand there spacin’ out! Ya hit yer head or somethin’? Aahn?

Yui: ...Why are you guys here?

Ruki: ...Isn’t that obvious?

Yui: ( ...!? )

Ruki: ーー We’ve come to get you.

Yui: When did you get behind me...!? 

Ruki: Hmph...Oi, you guysーー

ー The other three brothers grab hold of Yui

*Rustle*

Yui: ...!? Don’t touch me...!

Kou: Sorry? They’re Ruki-kun’s orders after all...Fufu.

Yuma: Pipe down!

Yui: Let me go!!

Azusa: ...Don’t struggle...

*Rustle*

Ruki: Why do you fight back?

Yui: I-Isn’t that a given? I’m being restrained by a bunch of strangers against my will...!?

Ruki: That is definitely true...However, do you not wish to escape this place?

Yui: Eh? This place...?

Ruki: This manor. You should have been through hell and back over here.

Those Vampire brothers are using you for their own comfort, as you’re being forced to share the blood running through your body with them...Am I wrong?

Yui: Well...

Ruki: Like livestock.

Yui: ...

Ruki: They will use you as they please...Then once they’ve grow bored of you, toss you aside.

I wonder if you’ve already fully committed to being a livestock, considering you have not attempted to run from this place despite those circumstances.

Yui: ( I can’t prove him wrong... )

Kou: Say, even if you were to awaken as a Vampire, you’d pretty much just be degraded to being a monster.

Yui: Awaken as...A vampire...

Azusa: ...You know, don’t you? That it’s possible to become Vampire...If you continue to have your blood sucked by one...

Yui: ...

( I’ve heard of said possibility before but I... )

ー A flashback ensues

Subaru: Hmph. Don’t apologize to me, it’s annoying. Actually...Why did you choose to remain here despite the circumstances?

Have you never considered living by yourself if you don’t have any other place to go to? You do have a head sitting on top of your shoulders, don’t you?

ー The flashback ends

Yui: ( Actually, why have I never attempted to escape? I don’t quite understand myself... )

( It’s not as if I’ve never had any chances to. )

( However, if they were to catch me...I’m sure I’d get killed... )

( Of course, that scares me as well, but...even more than that... )

Yuma: You’ve got the hots for them, huh?

Yui: The hots...?

Ruki: Hmph. ...In that case, I can only call you foolish. Harboring feelings for a Vampire...Your Master will never see you as anything but a prey.

Open your eyes.

Yui: ...!

Kou: Or are you perhaps a true masochist in heart and soul? Fufufu...You really are an ‘M-neko-chan’~

Azusa: That might be...possible. She...looks like one of us to me...Isn’t that right? Fufufu.

Yui: ...E-Even if I were to run...I wouldn’t go with you guys.

I’ve heard that you all are Vampires too after all...

Ruki: Yeah. We are Vampires. However, I do not want you to group us together with them. We have certain standards we keep to.

Yui: N-No way I would believe that...!

( Exactly. If I were to run, I’d...Go somewhere without any Vampires, by myself. )

Kou: You might claim not to believe us but when it comes down to it, do you truly believe you can succesfully escape on your own?

While you may not know it yourself, but your scent is pretty unique.

To put it into words, you’re basically screaming ‘I’m here’...!

Yuma: Even if ya were to run, they’d catch ya in a second and you’d go back to your merry piglet life. Heh...Pathetic.

Azusa: Or perhaps...They’ll brainwash you...Making you unable to think straight...?

Ruki: Don’t you think her current state is a perfect example of that already?

Yui: Brainwashing...? That’s not true, I...

Azusa: ...Justin...Seems like there really is something wrong with this girl...

Yui: ( Justin...? )

Ruki: Either way, we will not treat you badly. Come with us.

Yui: I...

( ...I obviously can’t trust these guys, but more importantly... )

( Why didn’t I try harder to escape...? )

( I’ve barely had any good moments, and I should have suffered much more. )

( Even though I know that if I remain here, I’ll either die or awaken as a Vampire... )

( Am I being brainwashed after all? It’s strange... )

Kou: What now? She went silent. Ruki-kun, you’re gonna take the word?

Ruki: Don’t speak to her. I assume we should give her some time.

Yuma: Keh...Is there really anythin’ to hesitate ‘bout? I can’t believe her!

Azusa: ...From her point of view...We are...unknown Vampires after all...So it can’t be helped, right?

Kou: Ahー I’m starting to get irritated. Hey, M-neko-chan, cut the crap already, will you?

If you think we’ll always be nice...You’re gravely mistaken!

Yuma: Oi, oi, Kou! That’s gonna have the opposite effect! Altho, I get why you’re upset.

Yui: ...Either way, I won’t go with you guys...! Even if escaping is impossible...

If I’m gonna run anyway, it’d be pointless unless I do it by myself...! So let me go!

Ruki: ...Oi, Yuma.

Yuma: Che...Guess it can’t be helped. I don’t usually raise my fist at chicks but...Yoh!

ー Yuma knocks Yui out cold

*Thud*

Yui: ...!?

Kou: Woah...! Catch!

Ruki: We’re taking her back home. Carry her.

Kou: Fine, fine. Geez, you’ve always been such a slave driver, Ruki-kun.

Yuma: Anyway, those Sakamaki’s sure are careless, huh?

Azusa: ...We’ve made it all the way to their garden after all.

Ruki: Hmph. Try putting yourself in their position. You live in a world without any natural enemies. Do you believe a wild animal kept in a cage at the zoo would still be cautious of its surroundings?

Yuma: Ahー ...Well, I guess so. If anythin’, they’d just carelessly snooze away exposin’ their belly right in front of the enemy...Lame!

Ruki: ーー It is typical of humanoid creatures to only realize how precious something or someone is to them, after they’ve already lost it.

Monologue

ーー I wonder what I mean

to everyone...?

Just a prey? A convenient woman? 

I’m no family, nor a friend.

Then what exactly am I?

Does the fact that I can’t state it myself,

prove that I have been brainwashed after all?

I no longer understand myself. 

I don’t even know how I want them to think of me.

Or what I want to be to them. 

Or which answer they are longing for.

It should be something trivial, yet for some reason

as if the answer remains shrouded by mistーー

I can never reach a conclusion.

ー The scene shifts to the living room in the Mukami manor

Yui: Uuーー ...Where...am I...?

Azusa: This is our home...Eve...

Yui: ...

Ruki: So you’ve awakened? How do you feel?

Yui: ...Not good, obviously. How dare you take me by force...

Yuma: Hmm? I held back a lil’ tho? My bad if it leaves a mark.

Yui: ...

( An insincere apology like that doesn’t make me happy at all... )

Kou: Oh come on, don’t be sulking like that~ You like this kind of stuff, don’t you, M-neko-chan?

Yui: ...This kind of stuff?

Kou: Being forced to do things against your will, or being oppressed? 

Yui: I-I don’t like that...!

Ruki: Either way, you’re already here so give up. We don’t plan on letting you go back.

Yui: ...A-Are you guys...after my blood too...?

Yuma: Oi, ya for real after everythin’ we told you? What other value do ya think ya have?

*Rustle*

Yui: ...

Ruki: Yuma. Don’t hurt her.

Yuma: I won’t punch her or anythin’. I just acted on instict.

ー Yuma lets her go

Ruki: Either way, your blood is most definitely our objective. We cannot deny that.

ーー Your blood is absolutely vital to this project.

Yui: Eh?

Ruki: Fighting over a prey is ridiculous. It isn’t what I truly desire, but we simply couldn’t let you stay with them.

At this rate, that man’s efforts would have all gone to waste.

Yui: Who are you talking about...?

Ruki: That is something you do not need to know. Either way, we’ll have you obey us here at our manor from now. Understood?

Yui: No way, I don’t get a say...? 

Kou: Fufu...Even though you like it when people force things upon you~ You really always say the opposite of what you mean, don’t you? (12)

Ruki: Don’t try and contact them without permission. Furthermore, you are prohibited from stepping outside.

Azusa: ...I’ll watch over you...I’ll keep an eye on you...day and night...

Kou: Ehー? You say that, but aren’t you actually just trying to get ahead of us, Azusa-kun?

Azusa: ...I mean...This person is one of my kind after all...You like being hurt...Don’t you?

I’m sure of it. Mmh...

Yui: ...

Yuma: Oi, Azusa. You’re gettin’ way too close to her.

Azusa: ...You can punch me if you want...?

Kou: Oh come, you two.

Ruki: Haah...Good grief, what a troublesome existence she is. If left unattended, she might even strain our good relationship.

Yuma: It can’t be helped, right? Only her blood is special, possessing a kind of power, right?

Kou: Besides, when you’re told that something is extremely delicious...It only makes sense you’d want to have a little nibble, right? 

Azusa: Let’s...do something painful together...Okay...Eve?

Ruki: ...Oi, you.

Yui: ...The name’s Yui...

Ruki: ...I am aware. Yui, choose one of us.

Yui: Choose...?

Ruki: Or would you rather have several Vampires gang up on you like before?

Kou: Fufufu...That sounds like trouble. Taking all four of us at once.

Ruki: Oi, Kou.

Kou: I know, I know. That was dirty, huh?

Ruki: Since you are Eve, you should be able to correctly choose your partner.

Yui: Uhm, what does this ‘Eve’ thing mean...? He’s been calling me ‘Eve’ this whole time too, but I’m...

Kou: You are Eve. Without a doubt.

Ruki: Exactly. You do not need to know what exactly that entails though.

Yui: But...

Ruki: Come on, choose your Adam. Just follow your instinct, and whisper the name you see fit.

Yui: ( Adam...? What is he talking about...? I really don’t understand... )

( However, even if I try to run from here, I’m sure they’ll catch me again... )

( But... )

Yuma: Oi, Sow! Hurry up! Who do ya choose!?

Yui: ...I can’t pick...

Ruki: ...

Kou: Eeh!? What do you mean? Wasn’t her instinct supposed to guide her?

Ruki: Just as I thought, huh...? I suppose it can’t be helped then. We’ll have to decide...with these.

Azusa: What are...those cards?

Ruki: They’ve got our four names written on them. Pick whichever one you like.

Kou: I see. ...M-neko-chan, pick me! I won’t treat you badly!

Yui: ( Even if he says that, the cards are facing down so I don’t know which one is which... )

...

( ...I’ve got no other choice. Either way, they won’t let me know unless I pull one, right...? )

Selection

→ Far left (Ruki)

→ Second from left (Kou)

→ Third from left (Yuma)

→ Far right (Azusa)

ーー TO BE CONTINUED ーー

Translation notes

(1) The verse 豚となりて楽しまんより、人となりて悲しまん or ‘buta to narite tanoshiman yori, hito to narite kanashiman’ is an old verse which originates from the Greek philosopher Socrates. It literally means ‘Rather than having fun as a pig, I would rather suffer as a human’ In these times, it was assumed that animals are incapable of experience pain and agony and therefore led peaceful, happy lives without any worries.

(2) He says 堕落という名の椅子に深く腰をかけている or ‘daraku to iu na no isu ni fukaku koshi o kaketeiru’ which literally means ‘to deeply sit down on the chair that goes by the name of ‘corruption.’

(3) He repeats Yui’s words, adding the particle の or ‘no’ after the sentence to turn it into a ‘noun’ so he can add the negation じゃない or ‘janai’ to it.

(4) Yui says 自分なりに or ‘jibun nari ni’ which is a common expression to refer to ‘in my own way’ and it is often combined with verbs like ‘trying your best’, ‘thinking about’, etc. In this case, Yui is not a Vampire, so the value of (her) blood is a difficult concept to grasp.

(5) The subject ‘Japanese’ is actually not called 日本語 or ‘nihongo’ as one may suspect. Instead, they call it 国語 or ‘kokugo’, which literally means ‘language of the country/nation’.

(6) Literally she calls his actions ‘tyranny’ or ‘oppressive’.

(7) Laito is most likely referring to the fact that their Father, Karlheinz, also is active as a politician going by the name ‘Sakamaki Tougo’ in the human world.

(8) In Japanese, no distinction is made between ‘mouse’ and ‘rat’ since both are referred to as ネズミ or ‘nezumi’. However, I went with mouse in this case because it is a little less insulting. xD

(9) At Japanese high schools, it is common to have a 掃除当番 or ‘souji touban’, which involves the students having to clean the classrooms and sometimes even hallways after class.

(10) Just like the expression ‘smells fishy’ in English, in Japanese, the verb 匂う or ‘niou’ can be used in two different ways. Either to refer to something that actually smells (strongly), or to imply that something is suspicious about someone or something.

(11) 外道 or ‘gedou’ literally means ‘outside of the way/path’ and refers to those who were non-Buddhist (and therefore unpure) originally. However, it can also be used as a synoniem for ‘demon’ or ‘fiend’. 

(12) I found あまのじゃく or ‘ama-no-jaku’ as both ‘pervert’ or ‘contrary person’, but the latter actually makes sense in this case because Yui keeps denying the fact that she enjoys what the boys do to her, even though she ultimately finds some pleasure in it as well. 

#diabolik lovers #dialovers #shuu sakamaki #reiji sakamaki #ayato sakamaki #kanato sakamaki #laito sakamaki #subaru sakamaki #ruki mukami #kou mukami #yuma mukami #azusa mukami #diabolik lovers translation #more blood #mbmukamiprologue

[phoebehalliwell]

could I just ask you ALL the questions? (minus any you've already answered of course)

lksdajglaks hell yeah bro (i'll also be skipping the ones require like fill in the blanks)

Has fandom ever ruined a pairing for you?

no again like the charmed fandom isn't really like hella active so there's no like mass swarming 2 drive u mad which is nice

Have you received anon hate? What about?

like i'm sure i have but like idk about what prolly just like what i said was wrong or incorrect or something idk i usually just delete

Most disliked character(s)? Why?

i mean i never really liked cole :/ like he was fine in the beginning but i was never big on phole which was his big thing and then of course they tanked him so :|. like whatcha gonna do. i can respect the concept tho n julian does have some really good moments. i also don't like kyle bc he bugs the shit outta me but also i find him like So Fascinating like. like he's so interesting just the way he interacts with people like it's so. i personally have a headcanon that he really has trouble like connecting with people / like reading emotions or social cues which is why you know like he dropped that magic bomb with darryl and sheridan and had like no qualms about it and he has like this. it's not quite charm but he has like this. god i can't describe it but you know this kind of light playful tone with an underlying malice that he tends to present with most people upon first meeting but in like relationships he has skin in he's just like a lot more stiff i personally think there's not the same swagger that we see initially Which I Think is because again i don't think he can read people well and his early attitude is actually his impression of like. the leader of the evil kid gang he fell in when he was younger. someone who was a cool sauve leader who was afraid of nothing but people were afraid of him something that a young kyle who was like still like really afraid reeling from the trauma of the death of him parents really kind of worshipped as the perfect mask of strength and masculinity that then proceeded to really sail him through law enforcement you know so it is like his most comfortable mask but it is at the end of the day just some impression of a school bully. but of course this is just my own lil brain in canon kyle's like a bitch

Is there an unpopular character you like that the fandom doesn’t? Why?

jack sheridan my beloved <3 also richard montana. i literally see a lame ass male character go is anyone gonna project onto that guy n then i don't wait for an answer. but like fr. he is literally me <3

Is there an unpopular arc that you like that the fandom doesn’t? Why?

um continuing in the same vein calling it an arc might be generous but i fucking Love prue/jack so unreasonably much like. they're so fascinating. like. but beyond that i also liked paige's temp jobs which i think were kinda unpopular

Unpopular opinion about your fandom?

i mean again n/a bc this fandom's just so like chill. because the shows been off air. for like. 15 years. that being said. i do hate when people like. maliciously hate any the sisters. like you can just leave if ur having a bad time??

Unpopular opinion about the show?

i mean like. i don't think this is like. Unpopular per se. but like. it's gotta be said. like this wasn't really like a ""good"" show. like obvi we all love it but like some of it was like. really bad (lookin at u l8r season phoebe arcs 😡😡) idc tho bc i still fucking love this show. so much. but like. has 2 b said.

If you could change anything in the show, what would you change?

ah jesus like just one thing? hmm. i guess if i get only one move it'd probably be to save prue idk how that would work per se because i love paige and piper's arc in s4 but killing off prue was just So Cruel it breaks my heart.

Does not shipping something ‘popular’ mean you’re in denial and/or biased?

i'm gonna level w u i think the phrasing of this q is so funny bc hell yeah ur biased it's called like having an opinion lol. but again in regards to charmed specifically it's So Fuckin Old that being in denial really no longer applies just because. like what's done is done and cannot be undone. that being said bianca didn't die lmao she n chris r fine

What is the one thing you hate most about your fandom?

😐. idk. some people read the text different then me & i'm all like no!! u don't see it the way i see it!! what the fuck!!!! but like. at the end of the day. i really don't fuckin care?? like u can be wrong and that's fine it doesn't affect me. & ik a lot of people probably feel the same way about me like you know i'm out here like pruejack <3 piperkyle <3 paigeleo <3 pruecole <3 like. i've got bad opinions. so at the end of the day it's really whatever. i'm really grateful that this fandom is like p quite and you know not insane and vicious and cutthroat bc liek bro calm down it's literally just pictures on a screen? but yes. some people have like. Wrong Opinions. but i let it go. zen.

What is the purest ship in the fandom?

that's a good fuckin question. paigeleo? lol. in canon and ik a lot of people probz won't like this but phoebecoop.

What are your thoughts on crack ships?

depends on how u define like crackship because like i get none of them are going to happen but if a crackship is defined as something i think is funny but i would never wanna actually see happen then i have like zero of them bc i am like dead serious about like damn near all my ships idc how stupid i'm like hell yeah i wish this would have happened in canon. piperkyle my beloved <3 that would have been so fuckin funny to go canon. like. like. so fuckin funny. would have loved it lol

Popular character you hate?

prolly cole bc he is popular and i just never loved him as much as everyone else i just never really liked what they did with him there are some episodes where i'm like hell yeah (see: the good the bad and the cursed) but for the most part i really don't care that much about him and the narrative Really Wants Me To Care

Unpopular character you love?

once again. richard & jack. <3

most shippable character?

tbh i feel like piper. just because we get so many sides of her in the show like she has a lot of character growth and that's really fun to work with that. beyond that i do love paige and she's usually my go-to for gay pairing bc look at her. she's gay.

#woot woot #charmed #💌

[saharamae21]

Never Ran Smooth (Part 14)

Hey guys! Thanks for all the love and support! I loved writing this chapter and couldn’t wait to post it... Enjoy!

-------------------------------------------------------------------

For you, in my respect, are all the world.

The night past quickly and the next morning, we got straight to work. I sat next to Pope as JJ and Kie bickered back and forth. I smiled at how cute he looked while he annoyed her. Love really blinds you quickly.

“You guys are sickening sweet,” I heard Pope groan as he looked back and forth between John B and I. Both of us looked like lovesick puppies, staring at their love like no one else was there.

“Have you ever thought about telling Kie how you feel?” I asked giving him a quick shove with my shoulder.

“That doors closed,” Pope said. “Before you were around JJ tried really hard to open that door. Even John B tried. She just doesn’t see us like that.”

“You never know until you try,” I said and looked back at JJ. “I never thought he would like me. I’m part of a whole community that he’s grown to detest, yet I can’t help thinking that he’s in love with me.”

“Thinking?” Pope questioned me.

“He hasn’t said I love you,” I said back, thinking about the first time I said it to him. “To be fair, we just started dating and maybe he doesn’t feel that way yet. I’m not in any rush for him to tell me.”

Pope gave me a small smile. I could tell he was happy for JJ and I. Everything I had said was true, I was in no rush. This was the first time that I had ever felt this way and I wanted to savory and draw it out as long as possible. JJ noticed me smiling at him and gave me a little wink. Even that was enough to make my heart flutter.

After everything was prepared, we filed into the van and took off for a pawn shop. I listened to JJ continue to fight with Kie, even after we were out of the van.

“Hell of a job melting it down, Dr. Frankenstein,” JJ said with an attitude.

“Like you could've done better,” Kie retorted, both of them clearly upset with each other.

“I could have. I took a welding class,” JJ said, both of them getting in each others faces. I grabbed JJ’s hand to calm him down. John B helped to diffuse the situation at hand and we made our way inside. “How did I get this job anyway?”

“'Cause you're the best liar,” Pope said as we opened the door. Then someone caught my eye. I said I would join them inside in a second. I saw Topper’s mom walking up to me from across the street. What was she doing over here?

“Savannah!” she greeted me.

“Hi Mrs. Thornton,” I said.

“You really need to stop hanging out with those lowlifes,” she said, eyeing the van. “I can’t believe your dad paid off that deviants restitution for ruining our boat. Keep hanging out with them and your whole family will go bankrupt.”

“I’m sorry, my dad did what?” I asked, thinking I must’ve misheard her or something.

“He paid for our boat,” she said. “I thought you knew?”

My heart swelled for a minute as I told her I had just forgotten. Why would my dad do that? I said my goodbyes and made my way into the shop. I watched as JJ tried to pawn off the melted down piece of gold. The clerk argued back and forth for a while, running a series of tests while JJ sassed her. I watched as JJ gave her this sob story about how his mom tried to melt the bar down. She walked away to talk to someone about what they could offer us and finally settled on 70k. They sent us out and on our way to the warehouse because they didn’t have the cash laying around in the store. We all filed back into the van and I sat down next to JJ. We drove a few miles and I let out a yawn before laying my head gently on his shoulder, zoning out while the others talked.

“So they keep money out here?” Pope asked skeptically.

“That's what she said,” JJ said in response. Then he let out a small chuckle. “That's what she said.”

“You’re such a child,” I said with a giggle. I closed my eyes and felt JJ play with a strand of my hair.

“How are you so tired?” he asked me, ignoring everyone else in the vehicle. “You slept all night.”

“I don’t know. I sleep so nicely next to you,” I muttered back. In reality, I was tired, but I was also confused. Why would my dad do that after everything that’s happened? He’s planning something. I opened my eyes to see him glancing down at me affectionately. Everything seemed perfect at that moment, until I heard the siren behind us. I sprung up and helped JJ hide the gold and his belongings. Why are we even getting pulled over? Why was there a cop all the way out here? Then it hit me. We’re being set up.

Everything began happening so quickly. A gun cocked and we looked forward to see a man pointing a shot gun right at John B’s face. He told us all to put our hands up. He told John to get out and let all of us out. I could feel my heart beating in my chest as I got out of the van. I watched as JJ told the dude to calm down. I was shaking as he pointed the gun at JJ. We all got down into the ditch and laid there. I was so scared and as the man dug around in the van. Then John B got up slowly. We begged him not to be a hero, but he got into the robber’s backseat and waited. The man found the gold and walked slowly back to his car, threatening us the whole way. Once he got in, John wrestled him for the gun. As soon as he got the gun, JJ was up and running. I got up quickly after him, wanting to help, but more importantly wanting to protect JJ. I watched him get punched down and went in swinging. I landed a few punches before getting nailed in the ribs. I fell hard, but the fight was over quickly. There was six of us and one of him. He didn’t stand a chance. Pope got the gold and then we pulled his face mask off. “I know this piece of shit!” JJ yelled. A rage overtook him as this became personal.

“Listen, I couldn't hurt any single one of y'all-” before the man could finish his sentence, JJ beat him with the butt of the gun.

“JJ!” I yelled grabbing his arm, but he shook me off roughly. He proceeded to grab the man’s license and inspect it thoroughly.

“We got one last stop,” he said and stormed back to the van. “Let's go see where this son of a bitch lives.”

The man threatened us over and over as we got into our van and drove off. JJ drive quickly and even recklessly. We pulled up to this rundown trailer home. I watched as JJ stormed out of the van and into the house, John B following closely behind. I wanted to go after him too, but Pope told me not to. This was a new side to JJ that I had never seen before. He was so overcome with rage that I was scared for what would happen next. When they finally came out of the house, I ran up to him.

“All right, so we're looking at five grand each for reparations for putting us through that bullshit. Sorry about that, y'all,” JJ said nonchalantly. I watched as everyone instantly realized what JJ had done and tried to talk some sense into him. Then John B and JJ instantly got into it. JJ got into the van and waited for us. He looked at me and waited for me to follow suit, but I couldn’t. This was wrong. He got out of the van.

“We're sick of your shit,” John B. said firmly.

“Oh, my shit?” JJ asked.

“Yes. Your pulling guns on people shit,” Kie said.

“You acting like a maniac-” Pope tried to add.

“Okay, Pope, I took the fall for you, man! Know how much I owe because of you?” I listened to him demand Pope pay him back now. I listened to him become unreasonable.

“JJ!” I yelled getting his attention. “You don’t owe any money, I handled it. It’s done! Stop treating your friends like this!”

“I don’t need your money, princess!” he snapped at me. My heart sank as princess became an insult again. “God, everything is the same with you kooks. Money, money, money!”

“That’s not true and you know it,” I said, tears filling my eyes as he lashed out at me.

“I could’ve handled it! You look at me like I’m something to fix!” he screamed at me. “I’m not a project for you Savannah! You don’t get to just fix me because your bored and have no friends!”

“JJ!” I yelled, tears streaming down my cheeks. I began to get mad at how he was treating me. I couldn’t control my emotions and finally yelled back at him.“Is that what you think of me? Is that what you think I’m doing? Does I love you mean nothing to you?”

“You may think you’re in love with me, but you’re just like every other kook. You look down on us. I don’t need your money. I don’t need your help. I certainly don’t need your pity. I’m not some mistake you can just fix,” he said coldly. “And because you treat me this way, I will never love you.”

He turned his back on us and walked quickly away. He went off on his own. I sank to my knees and let out little sobs as Kie wrapped her arms around me. I just crouched down with my face in my hands and bawled.

After I composed myself a little, we got back in the van and went back to the chateau. Everyone was silent as we parked the car and got out. I forced a smile onto my face and decided that it was time to go back home.

“I’ll head out first,” I said, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear nervously.

“Are you going to be okay?” Kie asked. I could see in her eyes that she was genuinely worried about me. I nodded, fiddling with my thumbs a little.

“I’ll see you all soon,” I said and walked to my car. I gave them all a small wave and began to mentally prepare myself for what was to come.

The drive home was shorter than I remembered. The driveway no longer seemed so long. I stared up at the mansion I lived in and let out a sigh. I turned off the engine and checked my appearance in the mirror. My eyes were red and puffy. I looked like a mess. Still. I gathered all the courage I had and got out of the car. I opened up the front door and walked in.

“I’m home,” I said in a hoarse voice. My mother came running into the entrance. She hugged me so tightly and cry. She begged me to never leave like that again. I felt bad for everything I put her through. Then my dad walked into the room. I walked up slowly and began to apologize for my actions, but before I could finish them my cheek burned. I fell to my knees and let some tears slip out.

“You embarrassed us. You disappeared. You cost us a fortune. Get your shit together Savannah,” he said. “I didn’t raise a failure.”

“I didn’t do anything wrong,” I talked back for the first time in my life. Then he said the only words that could make me want to die inside.

“And because you believe that, I will never love you.”

--------------------------------------------------------------

Tag List : @jjmaybangme @thebendslikebendover @jellyfishbeansontoast @justcallmesams

#jj imagine #outer banks jj #jj maybank imagine #jj maybank #obx jj #jj #jj maybank obx #jj maybank fanfiction #jj maybank fanfic #jj mayback x reader #jj x reader #kie fanfic #kie imagine #kie #kiara carrera #kiara #kie obx #kie outer banks #pope #jjpope #pope obx #pope heyward #john b outer banks #john b routledge #john b obx #John #John b #outer banks fanfiction #outer banks imagine #outer banks

[morgana-ren]

Unnecessary Trouble IX

Summary: Overworked and underpaid, you're the lead administrative assistant working under General Hux. Between overbearing bosses, lack of sleep, and insufferable colleagues, you're not entirely opposed to resistance attack if only to catch a break. Well, lucky you, you've been chosen to work directly with the temperamental Commander Kylo Ren while he temporarily oversees operations on StarKiller Base. His tantrums and poor disposition aren't exactly a secret, and you know it's only a matter of time before your big mouth gets you in trouble.

Pairing: Kylo Ren & Reader

Rating: Explicit/NSFW (Please see AO3 mirror for all warnings and tags)

***

Part of the human experience is becoming acutely accustomed to emotion. Happiness, sadness, anger, confusion. A parade of onslaughts that characterized your condition as human.

Years and years of growing accustomed to various feelings ranging from childishness to unreasonable hormones to stress. Growing, learning, and eventually coming to understand and then manage these things were vital to becoming a happy, successful adult.

However, nothing in the nine hells or beyond could have prepared you for the blind fury you felt in that moment. You thought ‘seeing red’ was just a saying.

It wasn’t.

You thought blind rage was a saying as well.

It also wasn’t.

You didn’t exactly remember leaving Hux’s office. You did, however, remember the bright shade of red his cheeks turned as you began incoherently mumbling, tearing at your hair, and hissing out expletives, several of which you weren’t entirely sure Hux even knew existed before your arrival.

He hadn’t reprimanded you however, and neither did he stop you. In fact, he seemed to relax his stance, allowing you to continue on your hateful tirade. Either way, you weren’t concerned with his body language, or even him at all, for that matter. You asked for permission to leave, and he immediately granted it, allowing you to clomp out of his office in a whirlwind of vitriolic anger.

Unbelievable. Un-fucking- believable. You stormed down the halls, only one destination in mind. One person, more accurately. You were going to find Ren, and you were going to tear his fucking head off. Supreme Leader’s bitch or no, he had meddled in your life one too many times.

You approached the main desk of command center B, heels clicking angrily as you stomped across the tile. That enough garnered the attention of the secretary, who peered up from his datapad pensively only to be met with your wrought iron fury. His brow creased, preparing himself for whatever hell you brought with your presence.

“I need to see Commander Ren. I need his coordinates.” You spoke, barely holding back your contempt. He moved to give a programmed response, but you spoke again, leaving no room for argument. “Now.”

He grimaced, typing in a few things on his datapad before turning back to you. “Commander Ren is busy presently. I can send a message if you have the clearance.”

You leaned onto the desk, pushing your face close to his. “You tell Commander Ren that his personal secretary wants a word. Immediately.”

The man’s brows furrowed in confusion. “Commander Ren doesn’t have a personal secretary.”

“He does now.” You hissed, lip twitching.

***

You can read the rest HERE if you like what you read

Part I, II, III, IV, V, VI, VII, VIII, 

#Kylo Ren #kylo ren x reader #Star Wars #Unnecessary Trouble #Reader Insert #Huh I need to rewrite the earlier chapters #I don't like them at all #Sorry if ya'll aren't into Kylo Ren but feel free to blacklist Kylo Ren x Reader or even just his name and you won't see these anymore #YES I know it's StarKiller not Star Killer but I didn't know at the time lmao just ignore it

[girlbookwrm]

Bah! Bah! Bah da-dah. Badabadabadadah bah dah dah! (<-- this is the iron man song)

THE MIGHTY ENDGAME REWATCH CONTINUES: PART THREE

(parts one and two are HERE)

The Gal Pal has joined us, so tonight we are three (@goteamwin is the Roommate and @pegasuschick is the Gal Pal.) This time we ALL pregamed with booze and cookies. 

Further note: It Has Been Years and I Still Miss The Old Marvel Logo

The Gal Pal: For a second I thought this was Lord of the Rings

THIS WAS A GAMBLE. I have to remind myself of this every time I watch this movie because this was a hhUUUUUGE gamble starring a recovering addict and directed by a nobody using technology that had been tested in Transformers, a franchise known for it’s kwality filmmaking (not u bumblebee i’m sure you’re g r e a t)

(the roommate would like it noted that they probably stipulated in RDJ’s contract that he wouldn’t be fully paid until he finished the movie because he’d flaked out on previous filming commitments for. you know. getting arrested and going to jail.)

This is a solid opening. A Super Solid Opening, in fact. Quality flashback. Actually TFA, take note. This is how you do a flashback, TFA

WELL THAT ESCALATED QUICKLY

comedy moment with the stark missile here. 

Howard Stark Mark I. (of three. Never forget. that there are three howard starks)

Oh No it’s Wrong Rhodes. Rhong Wrodes? just Wrodes?

Obadiah Stane? Really?? who thought he was a good guy??? although I love how easily he does this “getting on the stand to accept an award for Tony” thing. like he’s done it a thousand times before. because of course he has.

GOD THEY'RE ALL SO YOUNG

no da Vinci his a fair comparison, actually, given that Da Vinci apparently designed loads and loads of Very Deadly Things. 

At this juncture, the Gal Points out:

Not to be super gay here, but I would observe that the later Iron Man movies get hotter lady extras. Just a note.

she is not wrong. 

You're better than this journalist lady.

actually wait is she only sleeping with tony for the purpose of snooping?

SHIT SHE TOTALLY IS.

on the one hand DAMN PEPPER I HOPE CHRISTINE GETS MEDICAL ATTENTION FOR THAT BURN but on the other hand BOO GIRL ON GIRL CRIME.

Tony your music is bad

why isn’t it the iron man song

what band is it that does the iron man song

black sabbath, said the Gal Pal and The Roommate in unison.

tony i thought you weren’t a painter how do you even know who pollack is

The perpetual question with this movie: Was the script That Good or is RDJ Just That Good?

Will We Ever Truly Know

WRONG RHODES HAS A POTATO FACE RIGHT RHODES HAS A GREMLIN FACE. YOU NEED CORRECT GREMLIN POTATO FACE PAIRING.

Things that Date This Movie:

Tony’s suits (the fabric ones)

The phones (ohhhhhhhhhh my god flip phones oh my gooooooooddddd)

the fact that the hero is a new york billionaire with his name on the side of a building and people actually like him

Wait is Obie fucking someone? NO DON'T MAKE ME THINK THAT

I hate this part NOSE NO THANK U. GROSS. GROSS. NO I DON’T LIKE IT. NO. i came here for an ACTION MOVIE not a BODY HORROR MOVIE HELP PLS

Yinsen is v well dressed. like. Yinsen is SO dapper wtf Tony looks like a bum by comparison. And his chemistry with Tony is Un. Paralleled (except by pepper.) He fucking NAILS THIS ROLE. Ho Yinsen, International treasure

sub note YINSEN’S FIRST NAME IS HO. YOU ARE ALL VERY WELCOME.

sub sub note: The Roommate spent like fifteen minutes calling him Jensen. This Seems Racist. She points out that I am being racist for thinking that. She may be right. 

the ten rings IT IS LOTR

“I don't watch Iron Man that often, it's always a surprise when I enjoy it” - The Roommate

I THOUGHT YOU SAID YOU WEREN'T A PAINTER TONY. THOSE ARE VERY GOOD DOODLES FOR SOMEONE WITH NO ARTISTIC INCLINATIONS.

I love/hate that it’s like: Oh no this bad guy speaks English NOW WE'RE IN TROUBLE.

THAT. SEEMS. RACIST.

“Yes I would like a delivery date” says the roommate, someone very accustomed to working with clients that do not provide a coherent delivery date/schedule.

every time i see this scene i am reminded of that interview where Cevans is like: tthHHAT’S RDJ?? and then he licks his lips like the thirsty little bitch he may or may not be.

army recruitment - avengers - dick swinging contest - dumpster fire <-- this is literally the note i made for myself, i don’t know exactly how we got onto this particular sidetrack but look here’s the story:

the pentagon subsidized the early marvel movies, but then they stopped. that was a fun fact that I knew

the gal pal looked it up and it is Very Real. She was explaining to us that they STOPPED subsidizing marvel movies after the avengers because SHIELD. ‘Does the army answer to SHIELD or does SHIELD answer to the army?’

Me: SO ARE YOU TELLING ME. THAT THE ARMY. A REAL LIFE ORGANIZATION. STOPPED FUNDING MARVEL MOVIES. BECAUSE THEY GOT INTO A DICK MEASURING CONTEST WITH SHIELD AND MIGHT HAVE LOST????

yes

the answer to that question is yes

the military industrial complex is a dumpster fire.

32 minute mark and Tony has more time with yinsen than anyone else

I cannot believe it took them them THIS LONG TO FIGURE OUT SOMETHING WAS WRONG. No one thought to question that glowing thing in tony’s chest, just like: Nah that seems right. That’s part of the missile building process, right? They're working. this seems fine

It's still a horror movie but now Tony is the monster 

he was always the monster

YINSEN WE HARDLY KNEW YE

Tony Tedward Stark you're literally the only person in the world who didn't know Yinsen’s family was dead. “I’ll see them when I leave here?” THEY’RE DEAD TONY. THEY’VE ALWAYS BEEN DEAD.

also: YINSEN IS AN INTERNATIONAL TREASURE

Tony, at the end of this fight scene, is A) deaf from all the bullets pinging off his suit. B) very badly burned, and C) has broken every bone in his body.

All Jameses in the MCU come with an innate Bullshit Detection Sensor. “Steve’s in trouble” “What’s that explosion? probably Tony.” JAMES POWERS ACTIVATE.

40 minutes in and this is the first time I buy Wrodes as a pal. Maybe

Tony Stark: BRING ME BURGERS. YINSEN TOLD ME NOT TO WASTE MY LIFE

oh hey phil is here!

Tony you have PTSD ---- aaaand you also have a burger stashed in your sling? that’s the best thing. THAT’S THE BEST THING.

UGH GOD OBIE’S ON A SEGWAY GROSSSSS (as if we didn’t already know that he was evil just from his NAME)

The Gal Pal, re Tony vs his PTSD: of course he builds himself a suit of armor. we're lucky he didn't end up in a gimp suit.

me, internally: bold of you to assume he doesn’t.

I refuse to even imagine this movie with Tom Cruise it would be so Wrong. (For those who don’t know, the studio really wanted Tom Cruise  to play Tony, Jon Favreau really went to bat for RDJ against the studio, you know. on account of the whole. addiction getting arrested thing.)

TONY THIS IS A LABORATORY, WE WEAR OUR SHOES AND BUTTON OUR SHIRTS.

Mad money really dates this too. Add that to the list of things that date this.

Tony: Pepper you’ve got small hands, right? get down here.

 Now is the perfect time to remind you all that comics tony has canonically been pegged by Gamora.

You Are Welcome

A) pepper is great. B) Tony is definitely not really going into cardiac arrest. C) I’m remembering that they were my first Marvel OTP and I love them.

Re: Rhodey and the whole “Manned vs unmanned flight” and Tony coming in like “What about just the pilot with no plane” or whatever QUICK QUESTION ASKING FOR A FRIEND WHEN DOES THE FALCON PROGRAM HAPPEN

RDJ and his big sad brown cow eyes. 

The Roommate: I know I wasn’t into it at the time, because I was a youth and he’s like forty and I was like “No, he is Not For Me.”

Me: PAST YOU WAS A MORON.

The Roommate: Yeah i know that NOW.

Tony built his own keyboard that's so extra

Yikes generic ten rings bad guy you should put a bandage on that

ROBOT ABUSE, but also, can we talk about how much I love DUM-E, U, and also this entire sequence?

U is getting real fancy with the camera zooms

At this point we got into a discussion of whether the arc reactor gives Tony powers:

Me: Please. He’s a glorified normie. He’s the Batman of the Marvel Universe.

The Roommate: Yeah! He’s the Batman of marvel with out the...

Me: The what exactly? 

The Roommate: The dead... no his parents are... the car-- no he’s got lots of fancy-- The pearls. He’s the Batman of Marvel without the pearls.

now we have to wait until Civil War to see if Maria Stark is wearing pearls when she dies.

PIZZA. Obie is like the stepdad with that pizza. “I’m taking the pizza back. Nah go on take a slice.” G R O S S

Paul Bettany! You're better as a disembodied voice. 

The Roommate: I do not care for your purple robot form. I know Wanda does but--

Me: Listen. We’ve all made mistakes and bought an unreasonably large purple dildo

The Gal Pal: And we’ve all gotten attached to non-human characters. 

The Roommate: Like the fox from Robin Hood!

The Gal Pal: Exactly. And hey, maybe he just keeps going, you know? like the energizer Bunny.

Me, Upset: NONONONONONONO

The Roommate: now hang on a minute that’s interesting.

Tony, i feel like you didn't think though. But seriously, what is this scene? Why is there a Ferris wheel? Are those the director's kids?

YOU’RE DOING GREAT, DUM-E.

Tony, quick question, did you cut holes in all your tee-shirts? Why? There’s no need for it? It’s Literally? Just for the dramatic effect? Tony?? WHy??? ARe YoU LIke THiS????

they are literally titty windows

these shirts are probably very expensive

sToP

oooo the bad guy (side note, put on a bandaid my guy. get some neosporin or something) has the iron man 1.0 suit and waaaIT A SECOND ARE THERE BULLET HOLES IN THE CROTCH ARMOR??? DID THEY SHOOT TONY IN THE CROTCH?

First of all, Jarvis is a treasure, I’m sad they ever got rid of him, second of all I love that Tony can just show up unannounced at a Very Important Party and no one questions it, third of all:

Poooterrrrrr

Oh hey Phil is here!!

Oh Pep. You are so on top of things, you basically run SI, you know your fear about the deoderant is just paranoia. You applied twice and you have an extra one in your purse and you’re wearing perfume. You smell like roses and victory.

O! T! P!

Christine, why do you have these photos where have you been keeping them why don’t you just pull them up on your phoneOHHHH RIGHT THIS IS THE PAST THERE ARE NO SMART PHONES YET FFGHSSJJSJSDKDKD I FEEL OLD.

Tony is standing on a higher step than Obie for this. The Smolest Avenger.

This is the first full iron Man moment but all I can think is:

Toe socks Tony? really?

~Cool guys don't look at explosions~

SOMEONE REALLY NEEDS TO TELL MARVEL THAT MORE VILLAINS =/= BETTER VILLAINS.

Rhodes sees the boom on the screen and is like but… Tony is here. in the US. I know he's here. I'm 99% sure. 98%. (explosion #2) I’m 95% sure. (by explosion #5) I’m 42% sure that Tony is in the US.

Definitely the worse thing that Pepper saw was him cutting titty windows in his tee shirts

MARVEL! MORE VILLAINS ARE NOT BETTER VILLAINS!!

beeteedubs We All Hate the way Obie says “data” and “manufacturing.” Dah-tuh. Man-uh-fact-ering. U G H.

YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND PEPPER I HAVE A NEW JOB NOW AND IT'S SAAAAVING THE PLANET

every movie ever: Is this hacking? Is this how hacking works?

Obie’s frankenstein vein and the way he slllluuuuurrrrps his whiskey. GROSS.

Oh Hey Phil Is Here!!!

What other applications?

WAIT WHAT OTHER APPLICATIONS ARE THERE FOR SHORT TERM PARALYSIS?

NO DON’T TELL ME I DON’T WANT TO KNOW

Hhhhhhow does Obie already have a specially designed arc reactor extractor?

TONY WHY DON’T YOU GET ON THE SCOOTER INSTEAD OF SHOVING IT AWAY? WOULDN’T YOU GO FASTER?

DUM-E IS A TREASURE

Re Pepper:

The Roommate: Pepper’s superpower is calling the right authorities and making sure the right people get arrested.

Me: so what I’m hearing is that Pepper’s superpower is being a responsible adult???

This Seems Accurate.

“Anything else I can do?” says Terrence Howard. “yeah, you can turn into don cheedle” say we all.

Where's the water in this creepy underground lair. Whyyyyyy are there water light effects? WHERE? IS? THE WATER???

OMG look at that cgi wowwwww he’s just coming up through the concrete and it is Definitely CGI.

dear obadiah stane: YOU DO NOT FIRE PEPPER POTS SHE IS ESSENTIAL. IF YOU FIRE PEPPER POTTS YOUR COMPANY COLLAPSES LITERALLY THE NEXT DAY.

Hey Obie. Did you put the Batman voice modulator in yourself orrrr... 

Holy Cow Digital Hand is Very Digital.

HANG ON ISN'T THIS EXACTLY WHAT ANT MAN DOES TO TONY IN CIVIL WAR???

Blow the reactor, he says. JUST DO IT, he says.

The Gal Pal: Shhhh you can hear Howard Stark rolling over in his grave

oh hey Zuul is coming

OH HEY PHIL IS HERE!!!!

The roommate: THAT'S NOT TRUE SMALL AIRCRAFT ARE VERY SAFE

WAIT WAS CAPTAIN MARVEL PHIL’S FIRST RODEO? *need to see Captain Marvel Intensifies*

“Girlfriend who worries about me” Tony says. It's Rhodes. Right? I mean. He already has a girlfriend who worries about him. It’s Colonel Rhodes. 

tony is so bad at lying

which is cute and all but FORREALS do you remember seeing this movie for the first time? whether you like Iron Man or not, whether you like MARVEL or not, this is fucking cinematic history happening here. this is the first franchise of its kind, it opened the door for so many others and it is so weird to remember that.

BAH! BAH! BAH DA-DUH. BADABADABADADAH! BAH DAH DAH!!

we have spent literally the entire movie waiting for this song to play

wow Jarvis u ok

THERE HE IS. Lookit him. with his eyepatch. he’s Seen Things. he’s Done Stuff. him and phil. geeze.

Me: I really wish I had just seen Captain Marvel 

The Gal Pal: I feel like that every morning

i mean i don’t want to harp on this given that we’ve already moved on from the incorrect hulk but WHY WOULD TONY STARK BE RECRUITING ROSS?????

#the mighty pre endgame rewatch

[breakyrlegs]

The 80 Best Albums of 2018

80. Beware the Book of Eli- Ski Mask the Slump God

For someone who has spent so much time living in the shadow of everyone’s (least) favorite Soundcloud rap quasi-martyr, Ski Mask the Slump God is one of the more audacious technical virtuosos out there. There’s no time to lose on Beware, so every second is a product of Ski anxiously shredding through ways to get your attention. There is no flow he’s afraid to try, no sound he won’t make.

79. 7- Beach House 

Beach House have monopolized a space in the indie-rock sphere for about a decade now. Their dominance is no fluke, but after a few hard-hitters, I was worried that they might make the same album over and over again. However, just a week after the almost too obvious Depression Cherry, they dropped Thank Your Lucky Stars, a more lucid affair. It marked a new chapter. 7 sees them continue to be done with making dream pop for sweet, peaceful dreams...they’re now making music for all dreams, especially the ones that linger into the morning, the ones you have to ask around about to make sure they weren’t real. Corny? Maybe, but it’s nice to see a stubborn band add even more dimension to their seasoned sound.

78. El Hombre- El Alfa

What does it mean to be “el hombre”? There’s no straight answer but if I had to take a crack at it, I’d say it‘s when you spearhead an entire genre so hard that when you venture out of said genre, people complain about it, even though the song features Cardi B. It also could be when you make yourself sound like the most obnoxious cartoon mouse imaginable, yet still manage to spit out a slapper. He may be the king of dembow, but El Alfa can’t be pigeonholed. Whether his voice is a sputtering tour-de-force or a comically nasal squelch, this album is a celebration of the ridiculous. In the end, the best songs are peak dembow, where a cloying sample of El Alfa’s voice works itself into a tornado and thumps for what could be forever.

77. 777- KEY! & Kenny Beats

Kenny was a prodigal son who left hip hop with dollar signs in his eyes and his tongue sticking out, tempted by the call of #REAL #TRAP #SHIT. Key! was an artist who had existed on the periphery of the scene, paying his dues while earning the most visibility when tacked onto the end of a Father song. They are the type of match that would slip under the radar until you realize that not only do they bring out the best in each other, but they also tap into something quite glamorous. The beats bump, the melodies stick, the energy is so high, and Key! treats this like his magnum opus. He’s expressive, dynamic, and Kenny lets him do it without any gimmicks. 

76. Soma 0,5 Mg- Taconafide

Maybe I’m a little biased, but I can’t understate how much this means to me. A Polish rap album that doesn’t draw on trends that fell out of favor eight years ago? One that is building its own lane and not just tangentially existing on the sidelines of the American scene? One that has not only one moderately funny song but a whole pack of well-thought out, extremely catchy bangers? No way. It’s too good to be true. Taco and Quebonafide carry themselves like they know that this is the album of a generation, that millions of Polish kids living their lives peering across the pond finally have something that is distinctly their own, and, more importantly, distinctly Polish. Dawaj dawaj! 

75. Shadow On Everything- BAMBARA

It’s hard to talk dirt on an album that has all its instrumentation down to a tee. Sure, you can’t get by on technical efficiency alone, but when bellowing drums translate into something so menacing and a flurry of guitars create such a haunting ambient presence, you take no detours when you’re propelled into the darkness. These songs are packed with enough action to tell stories but really, they just set scenes. That’s for the better. BAMBARA circumvent all the pitfalls of making post-punk in 2018 by putting passion into everything, ramping up the chaos as much as they can.

74. Doomsday Clarion- Airport

The world of fragile, noisy Soundcloud electronic collages is a pretty funny one, but rarely does the humor feel as sharp as it does on Doomsday Clarion. Miranda Pharis compiles sounds that never cease to keep me amused, intrigued, and, most importantly, spooked. They also find a way to tie them together so that it feels like non-stop commentary. Halfway through this thing, when we are exposed to a tangent about how one of the songs excels at putting an unnamed Youtube commenter’s rabbit to sleep, at first it’s like “LOL random”, but then it starts to feel like a snarky dissection of underground culture performativity...and it makes me wanna keep reaching as hard as I did there. It’s the type of record that wants to make you sound like a fool, yet Pharis doesn’t scoff as much as they embrace and pay homage. These turbulent compositions are all the more essential for it.

73. Nasty- Rico Nasty

There’s a few things you learn on Rico Nasty’s thunderous entrance. Apart from her sixth sense for broke boys and fake bitches, the observation that hits the hardest is that she’s pretty...well...nasty. She’s also not even close to being interested in apologizing for her fame, and anyone who thinks she should because she’s done it by making extremely aggressive (and borderline mean) bangers is full of shit. If Nasty proves anything, it’s that nobody is going quite as hard as this, and even though that would be enough merit to rest on, she’s not going to stop there. The more tender and spacious tracks here are shockingly the ones that bite the hardest. For an album that builds so much tension from brash exclamations, that’s quite a flex.

72. Negro Swan- Blood Orange

For Dev Hynes, the transition from indie’s best networker to its most multifaceted social commentator has been a successful one. However, I feel like that label minimizes him, because his albums are not trying to tell you anything, instead acting as abstractly pointed containers for ideas and chunks of culture that mold together into something triumphant. His albums have always been celebrations that cut deep into the complexity of blackness, queerness, and history. Negro Swan is his most on-the-nose and also his most unapologetically happy. However, it’s not the concise statements that make the album but the gorgeous, subdued melodies that take charge before you can even touch them. It might lack the explosiveness of Freetown Sound, but there’s hardly a moment on this record that isn’t radiant or holds back on any of its charm.

71. In Another Life- Sandro Perri

It doesn’t take long until the title track on this album finds the groove that it will spend the next 24-minutes delicately unraveling. It is a dainty, sweeping groove based on a simple keyboard arpeggio that invites every other sound in the vicinity to flourish with it, like it’s hosting an open picnic. It paces around, disintegrating and advancing with time, but by the end, it’s exactly where it started. That’s the beauty of Perri’s work; to say he can milk an idea is an understatement. He can milk an idea to the point where you can’t even tell an idea’s being milked, silently highlighting the beauty that emerges with prolonged exposure. 

70. Aura- Ozuna

It should come as no surprise that the most stacked summer album came courtesy of reggaeton’s most profitable powerhouse. It’s not even the extent to which these tracks go, but the sheer force with which Ozuna can continuously spin out them out, over and over again, like it’s absolutely nothing to him. For over an hour, it sounds like he’s doing no more than acting on his impulses, tapping into non-stop melodies and rhythms with confidence that it will all stick. Of course all these songs exist in the same vein, but there’s no comparing the twinkling romance of ‘Ibiza’ with the glitzy flexing on ‘Única’ or even the thumping pulse of ‘Sigueme los Pasos’, where he gloriously joins forces with reggaeton’s other king. There are 20 bangers on here, and the album only kinda drags. It can’t be this easy.

69. Famous Cryp- Blueface

It’s actually hilarious watching people get worked up about Blueface. “He can’t even rap on beat! How hard can it be to rap on beat?” Lmao, if you think rapping on beat is a prerequisite to making hip-hop, you’re as bad as the people trying to keep the impressionists out of art galleries just because they weren’t making hyper-realistic Jesus art. Yeah, I said it. Blueface is rap game Renoir. For real, it’s so much easier to rely on conventional technical ability than to tap into something that actually expands on a style of rap that should’ve been out of ideas a long time ago. Most importantly, if Blueface is such a hack, then how come he makes it sound so fucking good? How does he manage to rap like he’s racing the beat to the end of each bar, with his voice cracking every chance it gets, and still churn out songs with so much momentum? Why the fuck would he rap on beat? So he can sound like every wholesale G Perico/YG out there? Smh.

68. ASTROWORLD- Travis Scott

It would almost be irresponsible to leave the most quintessentially 2018 album of 2018 off this list. If you didn’t hear ASTROWORLD within a week of it dropping, you might as well have been watching telemarketing that whole week while 60,000 feet under the ground with no phone service. For all its lyrical gaffes, lack of personality, and unreasonably quiet NAV features, this album is pretty sick. We always knew Travis Scott was something of a curational master, with a taste for crafting rap albums that aren’t about him as much as they are apexes of the mainstream scene. However, when he came off as hollow before, ASTROWORLD has such an abundance of quality that you can’t even deny it. His ambition is easy to poke fun at until you find yourself returning to these songs again and again, marveling at each extravagant beat change or “STRAIGHT UP!” like it was your first time hearing it.

67. SR3MM- Rae Sremmurd

Just a note, I’m not referring to two solo albums that came with this (sorry Swaecation) because for all their charm, those were a bit harder to vouch for. Instead, I’m talking about the nine-track banger platter that got overshadowed by all the noise surrounding the “triple album.” Somehow, SR3MM was stealthily the well-rounded, adventurous album the boys had been promising us this whole time. Perhaps it’s because it is filler-free or because both of them (Swae Lee especially) have become absolute masters of their craft, having made so many seductive, irresistible tracks that at this point they could do it in their sleep. Or maybe it’s because there are so many imitators and it’s nice to have a burst of authenticity. There is hardly a moment on this album that isn’t an integral part of a refined rap song. They have so much more fun together. Sure, Swae is eclipsing, but I really hope they don’t break up.

66. Loma- Loma

When Cross Record established themselves as sublime folk masters on Wabi-Sabi, I didn’t think they needed the not-so-trendy and very, very normal input of Shearwater’s Jonathan Meiburg. I guess I was wrong. Turns out where they were once comfortable soaking in the hushed splendor, they are now compelled to be a bit more ambitious, to venture into louder places with more confidence. Thankfully, the newfound grandiosity does not come at the expense of any beauty; the vocal acrobatics sink into the spectral sheets of instrumentation just as smoothly as they did before.

65. Pastoral- Gazelle Twin

Gazelle Twin is a hard sell. There’s really no reason this uber-spooky electronic project where a woman in a mask chants and roars over industrial beats should be good. The look is cool and all, but this shit can be really off-putting if you’re not willing to have a little fun. Thankfully, the vibe is backed up by the production, which seems custom built to fill these songs with the bloodcurdling energy they project. If she’s not pounding her shrillness into you, she’s catching a sample at its most disorienting and looping it into further oblivion. It’s overwhelming yet so effective.

64. QUARTERTHING- Joey Purp

Now, I'm no purist who lives their life cowering under "DEATH TO MUMBLE RAP" bullshit, but if the status quo of hip-hop today can be critiqued for one thing, it's monotony. In a time where Drake can drop a 25-song album with, like, only ten songs where he actually sounds interested in what he's saying, it's refreshing to hear Joey Purp attack each verse like it's his last, with each hook falling into its groove like he was told at gunpoint to think of something catchy. If Joey Purp makes a song about something, he's going to approach the topic with purpose, almost likes he's aiming to make the definitive song about that thing. Here, he uses this essentiality to flex his versatility. QUARTERTHING is a record of confident experiments, songs that wander into unknown territory with purpose, capturing lightning in a bottle most of the time.

63. Le Kov- Gwenno

Gwenno is the type of vocalist who gets swept up by her songs rather than situating herself at the eye of storm. Her voice is a soft whisper most of the time, but the reverb on the drums accentuates each snare with a room filling quality while every dash of organ lingers and sustains. It’s baroque, it’s timeless, and, most importantly, it’s in Cornish, which I definitely thought was an extinct language. She could rest on that monopoly and still be fine, but she indulges instead. It’s an ideal combination of originality and refinement of an age-old style.

62. Drip Harder- Lil Baby & Gunna

When they’re not together, Lil Baby and Gunna aren’t that good. All of their solo albums at this point have been coated in filler, and when there’s a standout track, they usually both show up. That’s why it’s not surprising that the Young Thug proteges find their niche on Drip Harder, but it’s still shocking just how sharp, cohesive, and vital this sounds. The duo are moulding expressive, abstract melody-driven hip-hop in a way that hasn’t been as notable and of-the-time since Thugger and Rich Homie Quan did it in 2014. That pairing was more unlikely and exciting, but this one is more natural. Every moan, confession, and groove on here is impossible to resist, and the beats are some of the most intoxicating of the year. RHQ and Thugger crashed hard as a duo after they peaked, but I hope these two either stick together or use this as a launchpad for artistic growth. There’s so much room for it to grow, but for now, it’s more than enough to watch them carry each other’s weight.

61. Another Life- Amnesia Scanner

The hyper-saturated industrial dance music of Amnesia Scanner has now turned into hyper-saturated industrial pop music. As bizarre as that is to say about songs that are almost all led by grating synthetic vocals on the brink of becoming a deafening screech, there’s something conventionally attractive about the way these hooks form. Whether it comes in the form of a stuttering refrain or a massive #drop designed to elevate any scrapyard rave into the impending cyber-apocalypse, the pleasures here are simple.

60. Magus- Thou

It’s getting harder and harder for fans across the metal spectrum to agree on a canon. So much metal is being churned out at such a high rate, it’s becoming more of a task to pick out the gold from the clutter. Thou make a name for themselves with unmistakable grandiosity. Their sound isn’t the most challenging; the snarls have a soothing, ASMR-esque texture to them and the riffs are clean-cut, progressing with grace. For a band this prolific, it’s notable when they come out with something this refined. You can hear the effort in every idea, the precision in every new path they take. Magus might be the best entry point for metal’s most consistent stalwarts, a band who are much more interested in perfecting their distinct ambiance than embarking on well-meaning but slightly muddled genre-fusion.

59. abysskiss- Adrianne Lenker

As if Big Thief weren’t intimate enough. Adrianne Lenker takes her band’s prime descriptor (either “intimate” or “delicate,” depends on the day) and sees just how far she can push it before it gets uncomfortable. The staring contest that ensues on abysskiss is what you’d expect from one of the most hushed, intricate vocalists breathing into your ear with no more than a guitar backing her up. She definitely has the talent to get away with a mood piece, but no, abysskiss is home to some of the most devastating songs in her arsenal. At her best Lenker is lulling you into woozy trance, with songs that pack the visceral explosion of secrets. Such a sparse record has no right to be this intoxicating.

58. FM!- Vince Staples

You wouldn’t trust an elegant craftsman like Vince Staples to actually make an album that’s “no concepts, no elaborate schemes, just music.” He’s rap’s smuggest pundit, as well as the brains behind some of its most captivating music. So even though FM! is brief and blunt at its core, it still can’t resist being super clever. For starts, although Vince’s albums are often personal, they are seldom embedded with this much unshakable geography and West Coast inside humor. FM! is designed to sound like it’s playing on FM (get it) radio, and every time he cashes in on the gimmick with a new Tyga or Earl Sweatshirt snippet, his grin becomes more radiant. FM! thrives as a reminder that Vince can hop on any slender beat and ride it with ease, his listenability being the spectacle with the observations fattening it up.

57. Cellar Belly- Wished Bone

Those who know me might be shocked that a lo-fi twee album of any kind made it on this list, but Wished Bone are onto something. Sure, I’m a sucker for those staticy, soothing vocals and the delicate clicks and hisses that adorn them. If you’re going to celebrate the whimsical, you better make a full send. However, the beauty of Cellar Belly is not just the alluring sound but the amount Wished Bone are willing to do with it. There’s a sex jam called ‘Pollinate Me’ where they literally go “I am a flower, you are a bee.” Elsewhere, when ‘Seed’ abruptly turns into an itchy swing jam, I’m floored. Shouts out to delicate phantasmagoria; this is haunting in the cutest way.

56. mouth mouse maus- emamouse x yeongrak

This album is a colossal headache. Of course, anything that picks from the most lo-fi strains of nightcore and 8-bit is likely to make you feel a bit queasy, but mouth mouse maus is actually mesmerizing with the extent to which it sounds like a malfunctioning carousel in clown hell. Sure, this album is difficult to listen to and if you’re tuning in casually it’ll probably sound like erratic sludge. Yet there’s something heinous about just how fun it is. It’s not just fun in the random, unpredictable way but more so because it has you on the edge of your seat. This album tests you but you’re going to want to keep going, just to catch a glimpse at whatever tomfuckery comes next.

55. Elysia Crampton- Elysia Crampton

Although she likes to keep it short, nobody has epitomized the vanguard of electronic music in the past few years as confidently as Elysia Crampton. It’s like her sound is caught in this furious web where everything collides, with snippets of trap tripping over sturdy breakbeats that are embellished with a whiff of punk. It’s like an information overload themed fever dream that creates a world so dense it hurts your brain to think about. But it sounds so good with no frills. It’s a language so tempting to imitate, but even her peers can’t come close to this breathtaking chaos. This time, the grooves are as adventurous and subtle as they have ever been. It’s just as easy to be drawn in and just as hard to look away.

54. Freedom- Amen Dunes

Freedom is one of those rare sonic wonders that seems removed from any modern trends yet pushes the envelope far too much to be shrugged off as revivalism. Sure, Amen Dunes have influences and many of them come from a clearly defined school of rugged, classic Americana. However, Freedom is too musically nuanced and personal to function as any sort of nostalgia trip. It’s the album where a mastermind songwriter fully finds his voice after nearly a decade. Damon McMahon has made great albums before, but none of them have the urgency of Freedom. In that sense, it feels like it came out of nowhere, even though that couldn’t be further from the truth. The loudness with which he projects, this unmistakable need to be heard is what’s new; Freedom is an album that screams self-acceptance, magnifying the affirmative catharsis that comes after years of internalized trauma. You can’t deny the power of that, but even if you do, you have more than enough splendid melodies to gawk at.

53. Chris- Christine and the Queens

I get too close to putting Chris in a box. Impulse has me wanting to write about how this a masterclass in “queer pop,” because it’s so easy to oversimplify queer artists and bunch them together under the same umbrella. Although identity is at the core of her art, Chris is not an embrace of an identity as much as it is a rejection of the need to clearly articulate your identity or to have an identity that pertains to a set of rules. Chris finds eroticism in confusion, and in that sense, it is a stellar non-statement, with each sentiment drilled into your heart via Chris’s enveloping voice and the record’s colorful, addictive production. Vulnerability is rarely this convincing.

52. Now Only- Mount Eerie

On the surface, Now Only feels like six leftovers from the most gut-wrenching musical diary entry about death ever made. That would be fine, but this is so much more. Now Only exhibits a new lens with which Phil Elverum views his devastation. He knows he will never accept it, but allowing himself to grieve helps him approach a semblance of peace. The confessional approach is just as tear-jerking as it was before, but instead of lingering in Genevieve’s ghost, we are hearing someone who has found deeper meaning in this therapy. Musically, Now Only is more vast and ambitious, but the sentiment is just as awe-inspiring. It takes a lot of genuine pain to pull off songwriting like this, and after the mass catharsis that touring A Crow Looked at Me must have been, it’s fascinating to witness the depth and growth of some of the most intense emotions one can ever feel.

51. Only Love- The Armed

Maximalism and enigma is a tricky cocktail to pull off, but if there’s a place for it, it’s definitely in the hyper-saturated world of metalcore. There’s only a few ways in which these types of outbursts can go down, but when you’re doing as much as The Armed, it ends up being pretty spicy. This album is a non-stop catharsis where everyone is putting all the effort they possibly can into whatever noise they’re making. It seems spontaneous and turbulent, but there’s no way something this constantly earth-shattering isn’t carefully orchestrated. I would call this all-over-the-place, but all the action is streamlined and compressed so that, for all its shrieking and pounding, Only Love ends up being a pretty nice listen. That’s only from a sonic perspective though, because as an emotional experience, this is gut-wrenching, borderline hard to sit through. If you give it the attention it demands, Only Love’s childlike expression defies trends and subverts expectations.

50. Rich As In Spirit- Rich Homie Quan

What do you do when you fall off? It happens to pretty much everyone eventually. I don’t judge those who decide to cash in or rely on publicity stunts to get back into the public eye or even those who just stop trying. But Rich Homie Quan made one promise to us, didn’t he? He goes in on every song. He’s still goin in. He will never stop going in. Rich Homie Quan has been eclipsed by most of his former peers, but on Rich As In Spirit, he does exactly what he needed to do; stop worrying and hone his craft. You can hear the effort and emotion on just about every song. Rich Homie knows he’s gifted and doesn’t need to prove it. He’s always had a vastly underappreciated melodic grip and a penchant for churning out the most energy-fueled, heartfelt bangers. Rich As In Spirit magnifies that. Putting in effort doesn’t mean overdoing it. It’s refreshing to hear someone sound so much less jaded than his contemporaries, quietly outshining them in the process.

49. X 100PRE- Bad Bunny

Bad Bunny’s bellowing baritone used to be a couple things, but now it’s everything. As one of the most potent voices in pop music, his debut album was liable to slap, but X 100PRE concisely shows off the versatility that his singles hinted at. To say he stays in his comfort zone would be irrelevant because his comfort zone is so wide. He came up off the Latin trap wave, but now his prowess shines strongest on his ballads; the inspired optimism of ‘Estamos Bien’ or the sensual nocturne on ‘Otra Noche en Miami’. When he links with Diplo on ‘200 MPH’, it is just as mammoth as you’d expect, not because of Diplo but because the refrain is so fucking sticky. Even the songs where he does the most are far from tacky; the seamless switch on ‘Solo de Mi’ and the hilarious entrance of El Alfa on ‘La Romana’ show his curational eye. It’s one thing to have great ideas but it’s another to execute them so tastefully. Bad Bunny is Puerto Rico’s improvement of Travis Scott; his albums have the same sights and sounds, but twice the personality.

48. A Whole Fucking Lifetime of This- American Pleasure Club

You never know what you’re going to get from a Sam Ray project. One of the great gifts to have comes with the passing of time is the bleeding of Ricky Eat Acid’s mesmerizing ambient music into Ray’s lo-fi emo outlet Teen Suicide, which has now rightfully rebranded as American Pleasure Club. The cynicism has shed off with the name; A Whole Fucking Lifetime of This is still despondent and stressed out (I mean what do you expect with that title), but it’s a lot more genuine and the thrills it holds are a lot more heartfelt. It’s hard to think of a way to channel your emotions that Ray won’t try. This album mostly consists of illustrious sad ballads made from ingredients so delicate that it seems like the foundation could collapse at any time. That’s not to imply that it is unsturdy but rather that these sounds are strong enough to break free from the glue holding them together. Elegance has become Ray’s forte, but he makes sure every goosebump is earned.

47. KTSE- Teyana Taylor

The last and least anticipated of Kanye’s Wyoming albums ended up being the easiest one to love. Teyana Taylor had been sitting on a bed of potential for years before this dropped, but her most visible moments came in the form of uncredited features, reality TV, and Kanye music videos. Kanye’s gold mine of minimalist, sample-based production feels most at ease when it’s elevating R&B, and Teyana has the ideal disposition to lead the charge. She’s confident, unashamed, and empowered. These songs articulate pleasure in a way that is proudly hyper-sexual, but even though its lyrics read like erotic literature sometimes, the result is tasteful. Taylor composes herself on this album like a star waiting to burst, her raspy yelp stealing the show every chance it gets. But this album will forever be associated with Kanye, and in fairness, that’s fine. He saved the most sultry, glimmering beats in his arsenal for this, and it pays off on an album that unravels with masterful pace.

46. Kwaidan- Meitei

I haven’t heard anything else like this and I promise I wouldn’t say that if I didn’t mean it. Kwaidan is an anomaly, an album that orchestrates the most befuddling atmosphere without getting lost in its abstraction. Rhythms emerge from dust and the spoken-word croak (you’ll know it when you hear it) rides them with the grip of an MC. The juxtaposition of ancient and futuristic emerged when Meitei moved to Kyoto, a city where he knew nobody, and wandered around until the mood overwhelmed him. The bite of Kwaidan is rooted in this immersion; there’s no way you can make music this precise, creative, and original without fully buying into your surroundings. Many artist have tried (and failed) to capture the oh so fetishizable “Lost Japanese” aesthetic. Kwaidan epitomizes exactly what they were chasing. It’s hard thing to do right, but holy shit, it is rewarding.

45. Nothing 2 Loose- DJ Healer

There are three types of tracks on here. First, there are the more standard ambient ones, where lonely synths tread through densely layered pops and crackles. Then there are the ones which are led by a melting vocal sample (often a vocoder) channeling something disorienting and alien. However, the big guns come out when the record takes an absurd sample, whether it be a melodramatic melody or some ridiculous rambling about how “this is God’s creation...isn’t it beautiful,” and loops it over some equally theatrical breakbeats. This shit can be so funny, and it’s hard to tell if the hyper-spiritual aesthetic is tongue-in-cheek or completely earnest. Either way, it drills itself into the record enough to justify whatever it is trying to be, regardless of whether it’s a punchline or naked sincerity. This is one of the more haunting, incisive ambient techno albums in recent memory, built on ideas that are not only clever but extremely immersive.

44. Grid of Points- Grouper

Nobody has spent this decade cultivating a more distinct, mesmerizing aesthetic than Liz Harris. Grouper has become one of the most reliable operations in modern music. You know that you’re going to get little more than reverb-soaked piano and breathy vocals, but you also know that the wave of emotions will be overwhelming. Harris records these songs in a room alone, and I don’t think it could be done any other way. It’s astonishing how she is able to consistently do so much with so little, and I know that’s a cliché but fuck it. The warmth and comfort that radiates from these songs is priceless. Grid of Points is not as haunting as past Grouper, but it’s more ethereal and, as a result, more conventionally pretty. This type of allure is a undeniable fit. It shows a new angle of a simple formula that will suck you in with every last breath and smother you with its seclusion.

43. Daytona- Pusha T

Who is the 2018 Clipse? Rae Sremmurd? (lol I like this analogy already) Let’s ride with it. Daytona is like if Swae Lee, 12 years down the line, actually found a more compelling way to sing about going to the Bahamas and dunking a girl in a pool. Obviously, in this case, the Bahamas and pools are replaced by selling coke, but you know what I’m saying. Basically, Pusha T has every right to have peaked already, but instead his coke aficionado character has only grown stronger with age. Like, I can’t believe it took him this long to come up with the line “fuck it, brick for brick, let’s have a blow off.” However, it’s not really Pusha T’s words that form this album’s backbone; as the entry point to Kanye’s prolific (and pretty great) Wyoming Sessions, the real catch is how Pusha T is able to merge with these stuttering, soulful backdrops to turn coke-rap into razor sharp poetry. Pusha’s dedication to developing one thing over the course of his career has made his imagery as potent as ever; but the brevity and minimalism here will not waste a single moment. In a year where he temporarily took down pop rap’s radio Jesus, his true legacy builder was far more modest but much more premeditated. 

42. Golden Hour- Kacey Musgraves

You ever think about, like, how there’s northern lights in our skies, plants that grow and open our minds. It’s kinda crazy that in Tennessee the sun’s going down and in Beijing they’re heading out to work. This is a real thing. Kacey Musgraves writes lyrics like she is a child realizing  everything for the first time and marvelling, jaw agape, at how it makes her feel. All cynicism aside, it’s refreshing to hear someone so enthralled with it. Golden Hour is a collection of earnest meditations on the most simple phenomena, shit we take for granted. And while it’s easy to poke fun at the parts of this album that sound like earnest marijuana-fueled banter, it’s a lot harder to escape when the music is so beautiful and the sentiment is so genuine. There are moments on here where Musgraves underlines things like temporality of our most cherished relationships or how euphoria is always dissolved by the shock that it’s all going to end. This is some of the purest lyricism that exists, an album that frees itself from the alienating shackles of its country aesthetic to become one of 2018’s hardest things to argue with. 

41. Slide- George Clanton

If you openly exploit the “vaporwave” tag for Soundcloud plays while lightly disowning the genre, you must be quite a cunning fucker. You better make sure that the music you’re making is not only post-vaporwave but a capitalization on the aesthetic that resonates with millions but earns the scorn of the critical masses. Slide is just that. It feels grand and important, like it’s the apex of the more cyber-persuaded strain of electro-pop lurking around the memescape. George Clanton is a meme god, an artist whose ambition justifies the more eye-roll inducing, needlessly fetishistic aspects of the subculture. The motifs in this album are not just extremely well thought out but all the more effective when they emerge in the form of blustering, explosive melodies. It’s very hard for them to fall into the background not just because they are beautiful but because you can tell he’s having fun. Slide ensures that there’s a wholesome time hiding behind every cloud of reverb.

40. Momentary Glance- Lisa/Liza

During a phase of grief, any creation is worthy of praise. The lore of Momentary Glance is clear-cut; overwhelmed by tragedy, Liza Victoria persevered through a biting winter to record these six songs. The despondent trance she falls into as she strums and chants is hypnotic, not just because of the prolonged intimacy but because the compositions are presented with all their raw imperfections, embellishments that suck you in instead of taking you out. Victoria’s vocals on this album act as a well of hope in the face of despair. There’s no right way to cope and no glory in suffering, so praising this album’s open wounds seems counterproductive. But when an aspect of your livelihood is snatched from you forever and you can’t bear how much you miss someone, an album that gets it like this is a warm blanket in a freezer, a beacon of empathy in the face of debilitating turmoil.

39. KIDS SEE GHOSTS- KIDS SEE GHOSTS

I’m not sure who needed this most. Was it Kanye, eager to balance out his ugly, legacy-ruining 2018 by making people finally talk about his music again? Or was it Kid Cudi, the tortured autotune godfather whose albums over the past decade had ranged from forgettable to holy shit i don’t even wanna think about it? Either way, KIDS SEE GHOSTS was the apex of the Wyoming sessions. It’s as if all the urgency spun into one concise project, where every segment showcases two genuine masterminds trying to bring out the best in one another. Kid Cudi especially treats this like the album he was destined to make, exhibiting warbles so seductive that you forget they were ever grating. He lends this album its emotional cruciality, with skyrocketing hooks that ache so hard and a tone so spot on it’s like he was saving it all for this.

Kanye takes this as an opportunity to showcase his curational genius. For a seven song album, many of these tracks feel like interludes not because they shrug off responsibility but because they take a form so unconventional that it’s almost distracting. Even the boldest ideas on here leave a great taste in your mouth, but in the end the dearest pleasure is Kanye’s rapping. Every time he opens his mouth he does so with vitality, something we haven’t seen to this degree since Yeezus. 

38. 2012-2017- Against All Logic

Nicolas Jaar is a sonic virtuoso. While he’s proven many times that he can twist and fiddle through his most complex compositions, simplicity bears the most genuine rewards. As you may have guessed from the title, this is a compilation of sorts. It suggests that Jaar has been taking a crack at more conventional house music on the side for most of this decade, and needed an outlet to release it without disrupting the much darker, denser expectations of the Nicolas Jaar brand. It’s no surprise that he pulls it off. It’s hard to think of another producer who has a more nuanced grip on how grooves work and how to find glory in texture. That being said, I did not expect something this casual and accessible to reveal itself as Jaar’s forte. Jaar really is one for the intersection of soul and house. These songs all follow a similar formula where an old-school sample gets worked into a modest yet riveting pulse. However, what he taps into suggests that some of these sounds are much more compelling with the context flipped around. For the scribblings of a mastermind, this is unreasonably presentable.

37. Stadium- Eli Keszler

The moment on Stadium that has me sold iss not one of the ingenious blends of shuffling percussion and jittering plucks that come to define its sound. It’s at the end of a song called ‘We Live in a Pathetic Temporal Urgency’ (lol), where the thuds dissipate and we are left with a natural sound recording of what sounds like pop music playing on the speakers of the mall. It’s like it is beaming from a different planet, simultaneously grounding the album and inverting it into a much stranger endeavor. Keszler has orchestrated a platter of ear candy, sound porn disguised as psycho-jazz. Sure, the odd time-signatures and abundance of texture might grab the headlines, but the real kicker here is the lull that actively rests behind the music. I wish all glitzy technical showcases doubled as ambient mood pieces. 

36. The Recurrence of Infections- bod [包家巷]

There’s an ennui that not enough people make art about. Nicholas Zhu (aka bod) would call it “the quiet hours of laborious coping that fall into the areas between work and sleep,” but I’d probably call it “chill time”. The Recurrence of Infections is a lot of high-strung aesthetically driven gobbledygook, but it’s fucking awesome. I actually buy into it pretty hard. Forget the fact that it’s a masterclass in sound design and think about what “laborious coping” would sound like. You probably can’t think of much, but that’s because you can’t realize your vision as well as Zhu can. Pianos that turn into crashes that turn into distorted growling that turn into robotic warbling...these are not the type of things you remember, but can easily relax with, if you tune out the real pressure. It’s a joy to watch this album unravel. It’s the type of thing you’ll want to tell people about without being able to explain why. But that’s ok. Come hang sometime.

35. The Invisible Comes To Us- Anna & Elizabeth

Anna & Elizabeth make musical period pieces. It doesn’t take long until you realize that this isn’t just a folk throwback; these are actually old folk songs, shit that was popping off in, like, the 40s. While the whole “old songs for new audiences” thing is wholesome, the magic is in where they go with it. The Invisible Comes To Us is exhilaratingly strange to listen to. Adorned by a seemingly ancient aesthetic, you’d think a modernization could get away with slapping some synths and beats on there and calling it a day. However, Anna & Elizabeth are interested in how this music would sound if its spirit was still alive today, if people still had good reason to write lyrics like “tell me jovial sailors, tell me true/does my sweet William sail among your crew?” but had the technology to throw some electronic embellishments on there. Every song sees a comically traditional tune come to a screeching synthetic halt, and even though that combination should wear thin, the execution is passionate enough to be chilling.

34. Whack World- Tierra Whack

The strongest gimmicks are usually the most frustrating. Whack World is a harsh epitome of this; it’s a project that suffocates itself with originality, but would it really ruin the illusion if some of these songs were a couple minutes longer? It doesn’t matter, because this album and the visual spectacle that came with it was enough to fit right into our zeitgeist and run laps around anything less casually ambitious. Of course, part of the appeal was seeing Tierra Whack trimming a poodle, prancing around a cemetary with muppets, and snipping the strings of balloons while snarling in a Southern accent. However, an album’s stellar presentation doesn’t always translate into such addicting songs. Whack World is fifteen great ideas taken at face value so that they never lose momentum. These tracks seem designed to get stuck on repeat, always finding a groove and savagely leaving cravings unfulfilled.

33. Twin Fantasy- Car Seat Headrest

It’s weird to throw this on here because these songs have existed for such a long time. However, newer resources sparked an overhaul we didn’t even know we needed, and boy, did it work out. Twin Fantasy is one of those records that is so painfully personal you feel almost uncomfortable. Immersing yourself in its tales of infatuation and self-awareness to the point where you’re basically watching Will Toledo gut himself and everyone around him shouldn’t be this fun. It doesn’t gain a new audience by straying away from the lo-fi, but rather by accentuating the musical and conceptual turbulence. The best songs on here are eager shapeshifters, growing bigger and bigger until they pop, or in the some cases, they reach the ten minute mark and start gyrating. Eventually, he’ll start doing things like convincing himself that he can’t be evil, not because he’s good, but because “evil” is a phony construct. It’s a drastic leap from fondly recalling Skype calls to declaring that he is incapable of being both human and inhuman. Or is it? Car Seat Headrest has mastered the smug grin that does bad job of holding back the tears, hitting you with enough unhinged emotion to justify its performativity.

32. Sorpresa Familia- Mourn

Mourn have had a lot of burdens to shake in the wake of Sorpresa Familia, and it almost feels like they could only have made this album with something to prove. It makes sense as the product of a fight for financial justice, as it also sees Mourn viciously slithering away from the buzzwords people use to define them and the marquee names writers like me automatically liken them to. However, they don't do this by changing their sound, but by upping the ferocity in their energy, the complexity of their arrangements, and the stickiness of their melodies.

The commitment to quality makes it easy to forget the label drama that birthed this record. However, Sorpresa Familia would not exist in this form without the rage and hunger for justice that marked its creative process. "At 19 years old we're signing our divorce," they growl at one point. Anyone who has gone through it knows divorce often becomes a blissful catharsis for the victim. Sorpresa Familia doesn't merely mark this catharsis; it proves that Mourn needed to loosen the shackles to make the most fully-formed record of their career.

31. Lush- Snail Mail

It’s odd to hear someone younger than me (I’m 20) rock a style that shouldn’t have too many ideas left in the tank. That being said, it’s especially wild when they do so with such grace, sounding like a seasoned vet in their prime. Lush isn’t brimming with new sounds, but somehow it manages to be the most refreshing indie rock record in recent memory. Maybe it’s because the songwriting is simple at heart but captures something so universal and captivating. Lush dissects the ambiguities of young love, both the frustrating rush of being swept away and the strength it takes to realize that the exasperation may not be worth it. It resonates with me, and I can’t imagine these sentiments falling short on anyone, at least when they are delivered by Lindsay Jordan’s absolute powerhouse vocals. The more emotional bits come in like a sustained avalanche, knowing exactly what to emphasize and what not to overdo.

30. Devotion- Tirzah

We’ll talk about Tirzah in a second, but let’s take a minute to gawk at Mica Levi. It takes a seldom-seen skill set to create some the most weirdly accessible pop records of the early decade and then go on to get an Oscar nod for a movie about Jackie Kennedy. Yet now, having produced Devotion, she’s ready to give her tasteful, haunting minimalism the charismatic voice it has always deserved. Mica Levi was never the best frontwoman, so enter Tirzah, with a sultry, conversational voice that can mutter and howl in the same breath. This is a partnership that has been bubbling since early childhood, and you can tell just how well these two understand each other’s creative boundaries. Mica will take a sparse loop and spread it wide enough for Tirzah to spit out vulnerable bars like nobody’s watching, like she’s catching herself in a scary moment of candor and embracing it.

29. Sweetener- Ariana Grande

Ariana Grande’s music had always one-upped her public person. She had been in marquee relationships before, but none as inescapable as this. It’s weird to look back on Sweetener, which was dropped during peak Grandsonmania, as this happy, beam of light sticking out after she witnessed a bonafide tragedy unfurl at her now-infamous Manchester concert. It was the sound of an icon in full control of her narrative, choosing to show resilience and overdose on bliss. Instead of being distracted by her newfound spot at the top of the A-list, she was inspired by the spotlight. That being said, context doesn’t make Sweetener. Ariana Grande has always had a penchant for the most irresistible, immaculate pop masterstrokes, and Sweetner is home to so many of them. Her vocal capacity has become practically superhuman at this point. Whether she is howling on ‘breathin’ or unleashing a phantasmagoric coo on ‘R.E.M.’ it’s hard to imagine a delivery that would suit these songs better. She has perfected the ballad, but she has also perfected the bop, and Sweetener shows that she can effortlessly blend the two.

Of course, tragedy struck again in the death of her ex-boyfriend/best friend Mac Miller. She broke up with Pete and unpacked everything with her biggest song yet. However, Sweetener will always stand out as one of the most crucial and enjoyable bubblegum pop records of our time, one that, for all its lore, continues Ariana’s tradition of putting the music first.

28. New Bodies- Tangents

I’m never one to judge an album primarily by its capacity to make me go “whoa!”, but if I was, New Bodies would probably top this list. Simply put, this is a technical masterstroke. The type of music Tangents make is pretty hard to classify; its sprawling instrumental flexing suggests jazz but the ingredients are electronic. It’s impressive enough to pull off something so unorthodox but to do so in a way that manages to summon emotion while simultaneously dropping jaws...that’s a whole new level. New Bodies rejects the need to find a groove, fidgeting and sputtering to a point where it can either unravel or chase a massive crescendo. More often than not, it chooses both. This album flaunts its pace, but the real calling card is the texture, which is product of rattling percussion that manages to stay so varied and complex while providing a sturdy backbone. It shouldn’t be possible to scatter strings, cymbals, beats, and samples so haphazardly onto each track and come out with seven genuine odysseys. 

27. Galapagos- Wednesday Campanella

Wednesday Campanella aren’t quite subverting stylistic norms. Galapagos is chock full of drops, albeit interesting ones, and the songs rely on tried-and-tested formulas to drill the melodies in. However, skipping experimentation lets Wednesday Campanella to get straight to the point: unadulterated sonic bliss. Also, please don’t get me wrong. Wednesday Campanella don’t really sound like anyone else, even in the far-reaching, dense world of J-Pop. It’s hard to find any band that is so adamant on cramming this many glistening sounds into their music yet so capable of dodging busyness or being busy in the right way. Yet, for a group that does so much, it’s wild that they manage to have each element crafted with precision, whether it be a glittery synth sound shooting out of a vibe that would have never have called for it, or the vocals, which are always so high up in the mix that each breath is magnified. Sure, it’s not the most uncanny, but Wednesday Campanella stay surprising you with their audacious choices.

26. Room 25- Noname

Room 25 is birthed out of an entirely new set of circumstances. While Telefone was a Chicago album through-and-through, Room 25's namesake comes from the geographic ambiguity of two years spent living on the road. She sums it up nicely on "With You" where she raps "shared my life on Telefone, room 25 and 306, and 809 became my home.” Being thrown into the cutthroat touring process for two whole years is a unique and inherently transformative experience, and Room 25 captures this transformation in all its push-pull nuance, without sacrificing Noname's sharp eye for her surroundings. In this sense, Room 25 is excitingly personal. In the past, Noname the character has taken a passenger seat to Noname the narrator. Now she opens things up and focuses on her journey, and there's a lot of growth to be exhibited. It's an album with purpose, a moving snapshot of a coming-of-age worthy of all this great music.

Yet, for all the personality and reflection that comes out on Room 25, Noname's eloquent observations make for some of the stickiest moments on this album. When she ponders the hypocrisy of eating Chick-Fil-A "in the shadows" on ‘Blaxploitation’, she doesn't do so with a stern finger-wag but an onomatopoeic overcoming of sensation -- "mmm, yummy, tasty" -- kickstarting a flow that unwinds with her confronting the "thinkpiece" nature of her music head-on. However, these songs aren't thinkpieces. These are acute contemplations from someone with a lot to chew on. Room 25 sees a brilliant writer finding her outlet, taking in the world around her, and spinning it into her own extraordinary web.

25. Safe in the Hands of Love- Yves Tumor

Yves Tumor never seemed interested in stepping out of his mystery bag approach to making albums, mixing 8-minute long exercises in ambient noise with simple, concise soul jams. However, nothing he ever tries is derivative. Safe in the Hands of Love has too much distorted screaming to be labelled his crossover lunge, but now he seems ready to take his sonic ingenuity and apply it to something less abstract. Maybe that’s what happens when you get picked up by Warp, or maybe that’s just what Yves Tumor was planning this whole time. Either way, it doesn’t sound like any compromises are being made. Even the more anthemic songs like ‘Noid’ or ‘Lifetime’ reek of despair and restlessness, and the orchestral overtones that give the tracks their oomph aren’t exactly inviting either. More electronic tracks like ‘All the Love We Have Now’ and ‘Economy of Freedom’ are nods to past successes, but for all their electrifying grooviness, they embrace the same menacing grandiosity. The notion that nothing is off the table is all these songs abide to. Either way, these are some of his best.  

24. OIL OF EVERY PEARL’S UN-INSIDES- Sophie

Sophie never seemed that interested in feeding into the consumerism celebration/critique/caricature her PC Music contemporaries so loudly owned. For every robotic bubblegum pop hook she crafted there was an avalanche of emotion bubbling underneath. OIL takes that emotion and puts it front and center, revealing the dynamic human behind the once elusive machine. Sophie is no longer milking the hyper-synth + squeaky balloon + pots & pans combo into oblivion, but when it shows up here, it’s stronger than ever. ‘Ponyboy’ and ‘Faceshopping’ make previous career highs feel staticy, and there is now a lot more space and fluidity in Sophie’s barrage of beats. While these tracks will pounce on you, the real glory emerges in the most fully-formed moments of Sophie’s career. ‘It’s Okay to Cry’ will wind you with its earnest sensitivity, ‘Is It Cold in the Water?’ is built off a synthline that is borderline heavenly, and ‘Immaterial’ illustrates her identity with elegance that can only be described as career-defining. Music can be a lot of things, but at its very best it is an outlet to channel your truest self. OIL epitomizes this phenomenon, amping up the excitement as Sophie continues to explore.

23. The Smoke- Lolina

When you first hear the tuneless, off-kilter wobble of The Smoke, it becomes clear pretty fast that this album isn’t that interested in sounding “good.” Inga Copeland sounds detached from the music, her voice approaching a mumbling groan while the plodding keyboards and beats don’t sound especially happy to be there. It’s about nothing, it feels nothing, and it doesn’t want you to feel anything either. But, *surprise*surprise*, it’s fascinating. Unlike her close collaborator Dean Blunt, Copeland doesn’t rely on confusion to make the gag work but uses it to carve out a world for her tracks to awkwardly flourish. The first two songs are basically weed out tracks, testing even those most committed to adventure. Once you’re sucked in, the real drama goes down. The husting, solemn ‘The River’ has such a firm grasp on its momentum it practically feels like a set up. The next two songs are particularly stunning, stepping outside of the pervasive flatness to embrace something far more delicate. It’s hard to find an album that rejects aesthetics so much but transcends being just kinda interesting. In that respect, The Smoke is a rare success.

22. Veteran- JPEGMAFIA

Peggy comes close to wearing out his welcome a few times on Veteran. Instead, he just exasperates you, like a jester who bites and claws before he scampers away. It’s hard to even know where to begin with his music, but the elevator pitch is in the instrumentals. They frequently tease you with stomach-churning samples that seem borderline impossible to turn into a beat until they hit their stride and become obvious. On ‘Real Nega’, it’s a guttural sample of Ol’ Dirty Bastard croaking and on ‘Baby I’m Bleeding’ it’s a echoey computer crash of a stutter that paces around for a whole minute before turning into the banger it is. 

JPEGMAFIA ensures that listening to him is like tripping down an Internet rabbit hole, issuing somewhat agreeable hot takes about how Morrissey/Tom Araya/Varg deserve to die, how Pitchfork supports abusers (until it wasn’t cool), and...well...how he wants a bitch with long hair like Myke C-Town. He toes the line between sheer abrasion and accessibility, and the songs that do this best (‘Thug Tears’, ‘Macaulay Culkin’) seem destined for crossover success, because when he’s not hollering, he can sing about as well as anyone in Brockhampton. However, the most exciting thing is the notion that Peggy is a rapper who reflects music meme culture as much as he is a product of it, erasing the wall between the lurkers on 4chan and the artists they stan. #Edgy? Definitely, but I dare you to turn it off.

21. Joonya Spirit- Jaala

The most notable quotable I have read from Jaala is that the 4/4 time signature can go “fuck a dead donkey.” You’d think such a blatant contrarian might try a bit too hard to hit you with compositional gymnastics, and while there’s definitely some of that on Joonya Spirit, there’s a lot more passion. It’s rare to see something this proggy get caught up in such visceral vulnerability, with songs that confront anguish as the snide beast it is. One song has Cosmia Pay drained, wound up after being pet “like a dog.” Another takes the bare facts of a break-up and transforms them into a swaying hook. But between these outbursts, Jaala try to find the most convoluted way from A to B, constructing a self-imposed obstacle course. The journey bears gifts, to say the very least. While this can be a hard album to track, it’s elevated by an understanding of how to make the most out of its detours, with the complexity becoming a tool rather than a distraction. 

20. Cocoon Crush- Objekt

Electronic music is progressing so that the machine engages in a tug-of-war with the human. Some artists even use their platform to pitch a manifesto where there’s no reason humans should make better music than artificial intelligence. It’s a valid point, but it undervalues a virtuosic understanding of sound as a sensory experience, as if an algorithm can spew out music that is meticulously crafted to make you feel. Texture isn’t all it takes, but when Objekt’s music spreads itself out like the satisfying percussive ASMR it is, I nut. It’s not like his music is milking its benevolence, but it brims with life. The callbacks, the vividness, the rattling fiber...it’s designed to evoke. As an album that fully appreciates the artistic potential of technology, Cocoon Crush rejects techno’s anatomy and builds its own habitat.

19. The Wolf of Grape Street/God Level- 03 Greedo

It’s much easier to think of 03 Greedo’s output as this flurry of spontaneity, surfacing in eagerly explored ideas and a landslide of hard work and charm. Nobody has earned his spot on this list more than 03, an eager poet who packs all the turmoil he’s ever experienced into each nasally, autotuned whine. He’s also shockingly talented. Amidst the nearly 50 songs on these two projects, which are admittedly super bloated, there are really only a few duds, all of which suffer on the basis of being undercooked, not misguided. What makes up for it even more is the notion that the excess is probably the point. Greedo makes bangers that range from the devastated (‘Prayer From My Lost’) to the needy (‘Bacc to Jail’) to the combative (‘Basehead’) to the absolutely savage (‘Run For Your Life’).

It’s all infectious enough to shock you with its productivity, and that’s probably for good reason. Shortly before God Level was released, Greedo was sentenced to a maximum of 20 years in jail. It was technically on gun and drug charges, but it felt like he fell victim of a system that always put him last. Seeing him pour his heart out so urgently can only tug at the heartstrings.

18. Double Negative- Low

Not gonna lie, I would have never put my money on Low to craft an album that sounds so ahead of its time. Maybe I was ignorant...when you spend your whole career being the face of your own niche, especially one as fragile and poignant as slowcore, you can only waltz towards perfection. Double Negative may be just that. It’s ambitious, creating most of its backbones from waves of static. But how the fuck do you sound so relevant after years of sounding so worn down? Where did this need to deeply innovate and challenge come from? Whatever they did, Double Negative discovers a whole new language within its glitches.

Low have completely overhauled their sound, but only emphasized their essence. The vocals cast themselves like heavenly beams of light onto these suffocating drones, the type of clash that is built to overwhelm. Double Negative takes strokes of such vehement abrasion and tweaks them until they sound exquisite. It’s hard to find an album so unique yet so logical, obscurely branching off from an exhausted genre towards a practically euphoric display of textural understanding.

17. Compro- Skee Mask

It’s not easy to penetrate the traditional IDM canon these days, especially now that Aphex Twin is still active, but fuck me if Compro doesn’t try. This doesn’t position itself as one for the purists; instead it’s a confident progression of an age-old form, an album that knows what ingredients make this experimental techno shit work, but has no interest in indulging. A Skee Mask song will set itself up with a gravity-shaking rhythm that bulges with enough texture so that when a groove comes to nest, it is punctured and complex, even if its beauty comes in conventional forms. The twinkle of the melody on ‘Rev8617’ or the icy, distant synth on ‘Soundboy Ext.’ are cast over ripples and breakbeats. It doesn’t feel like he’s creating a juxtaposition as much as he is balancing these sounds out, as if their splendor is highlighted with containment.

16. Cold Devil- Drakeo the Ruler

It shouldn’t surprise you that someone who has been taken to task by law enforcement based on the perceived authenticity of his lyrics prides himself on his intensity. It’s hard to keep up a shtick for this long, rambling about apparently miscellaneous characters like Mr. Mosley and Pippi Longstocking, while never forgetting to underline how you have your dick out like a “pedophile” or how you’ve been strangling snakes and you bathe with the apes. All the while, you end pretty much each track with a minute-long tirade where you take in your surroundings. It’s a lot, but for an album of seemingly low-stakes shit-talking, Cold Devil packs a ton of depth.

Crafted during an 11-month jail stint, Cold Devil projects the charisma, isolation, and precision that can only arise from such introspective circumstances. Yet, while tapped into ultra-realism, the most captivating part of sees Drakeo’s imagination running wild. It’s like he used the time to construct his own emotional lexicon, and while it’s the type of bogged-up conceptualism that you can’t really articulate, he’ll be fucked if he doesn’t try. What comes out is a whirlwind of ideas, each flourishing, albeit concisely, through a swamp of imagery and excellent rapping. Anyone who views this as a confession must be kidding themselves; it’s a vivacious expression that even the most observant couldn’t untangle.

15. You Won’t Get What You Want- Daughters

Anger, despair, dejection...these are all emotions that might sound contrived, especially in a context where they’re almost taken as given (*cough*cough*noise rock*cough). Fortunately, nothing feels fake about Daughters. Spreading their wings after eight years of silence, You Won’t Get What You Want sounds like the pinnacle of a decade of anguish rolled up into a ball and fattened up to sound as big as possible. You’ll notice a few things right off the bat: the drums sounds massive, the vocals are almost always approaching a scream, and every instrument seems to have the color tuned out of it. Daughters play like they are making themselves dizzy, launching into climaxes with brute force. Yet for all its density, it’s a wonder how music this outwardly menacing can transcend the bluntness of its elements to become somewhat inviting. That being said, there is nothing wholesome about the darkness that dominates this record, but Daughters make sure to tweak their pain into the most suffocating beast they can so that it’s almost conventionally beautiful. It’s hard to find a record that executes its niche so perfectly, an ambience that can only be approached after years of marinating in your ache. 

14. Some Rap Songs- Earl Sweatshirt

It makes perfect sense to make music that sounds like what your friends’ make, but when the long-awaited Earl Sweatshirt album came out sounding like a logical follow-up to MIKE’s recently released Renaissance Man more than the sequel to I Don’t Like Shit I Don’t Go Outside, it was a little confusing. However much Earl may drown in his modesty and aggressively try to understate the potency of his music, his brand of cooped-up gloom comes with a midas touch. It’s hard to say whether Earl was hard at work for these past three years, or whether he spun out these 15 vignettes in a stroke of manic genius, but it doesn’t really matter either way. They’re here and it’s captivating as fuck.

Earl the operation is an outlet for Thebe the person, who is still easing himself into stability after an adolescence where he became something of a martyr to millions of kids (#FREE EARL). Of course, this is punctuated by the death of his estranged poet father, a disconnect that Earl has always struggled to grapple with. However, Some Rap Songs is wary of romanticising anything for the sake of a narrative. Instead, it jumps from dusty beat to dusty beat, a flurry of understatements that rarely stay around for longer than two minutes. Earl has always been eager to find his niche after a couple of regrettable teenage choices that risked contaminating his artistry. Even if the inspiration he takes is obvious, his energy can’t be channelled by anyone else.

13. The Whole Thing Is Just There- Young Jesus

For a band who could easily be described as a “philosophy bro jam band,” Young Jesus make it pretty easy for you to like them. This is a controlled exercise in pensive, intellectual emo, an album hellbent on making sure each groove throbs like it’s had its young recently ripped from its arms. The riffs don’t emerge as hooks but rather weave themselves through tunnels, fueling each crescendo. At the apex of it all is a shuddering plea for attention. Young Jesus channel the same catharsis as the emo revivalist except they don’t take the easy way out; their forte is their creativity and their pulse is their sensitivity.

All six songs here manage to fit in both moments of anthemic infection and utter disarray (the glorious kind). The segments that accentuate this album are defined by their space and tenderness, taking poignant philosophical observations and highlighting their consequence with emotional outbursts. It takes a style bent on nostalgia and pushes into an entirely new place, a feat that very few artists can pull off, especially with such volume and precision.

12. Have fun- Smerz

Smerz are like if an artist with talent, charisma, and pop smarts was approaching a fork in the road where they could pursue Top 40 glory or use their resources to lead the vanguard and make challenging, deconstructive electronic music. Guess which one they choose? The melodies that soar over the gritty, distorted beats could have been lifted from the bridge of a #1 R&B hit. Instead, they are spread over a tattered landscape, like a safari where you’re not gawking at animals but taking in an exhibit of quirky synth sounds and samples of speech that sound like they are lifted from a 3 AM drunk voicemail.

Have fun bounces between ethereal dizziness and stark percussive minimalism, but when the two combine, it’s a goosebump-inducing juxtaposition. Floating above the instrumentals-- which honestly could have been released on their own and still have made the lower-end of this list-- is either a deadpan cheerleader chant or a fluttering vocal harmony. Whatever Smerz do, they can’t stop creating music that the words “haunting” and “hypnotic” must’ve been invented to describe. They construct such an exclusive bubble where experimental techno and pop intersect, a fusion that needed to happen, that other artists have tried to do and came-out contrived. It pulsates with mystery, which is funny because most of these songs are about getting fucked up or, as Smerz would put it themselves, “basic bitch problems.” Their ominous gaze turns this charm into a manifesto. And why shouldn’t it? Music this serious yet unpretentious is a rare delight.

11. Honey- Robyn

Everything Robyn does, she does with conviction. She’ll look back on the empty spaces her lover has left behind without fearing her resentment. She’ll invite you to a beach party with casual assurance (“come thru, it’ll be cool”), but boldly winks to suggest that it might be the most transcendental night ever. She’ll demand forgiveness without begging for it, embracing submissiveness while knowing the absurdity of her demands. Is forgiveness even real? Is nostalgia hollow? Is it OK to be heartbroken? These are the types of issues Robyn deals with on Honey, an album that packs eight years of growth into 40 minutes, as if Robyn has been contemplating the scope of her influence and brainstorming the next best step.

Of course, Honey isn’t that calculated. It’s a record of audacious sensitivity, dissecting the simplest phenomena and matching them up with the perfect backdrops. The sex song (‘Between The Lines’) skips with a seductive sway, like a lab-constructed aphrodisiac. The club song (‘Beach 2k10’) is an anomaly, but walks with the confidence of a nightlife staple. However, the best tracks are the most fully-formed, tracks like ‘Honey’ and ‘Human Being’ feel like quintessential Robyn on steroids. It’s astonishing how good she is at this, and even when the record treads new water with suave, captivating disco cuts, Robyn owns whatever space she’s in.

10. Vibras- J Balvin

J Balvin is not the most emotive, distinctive, eccentric reggaeton artist, nor does he have the best voice or the most dominating presence. But he might be the most ambitious, and the most adept at making effortless smash hits, a thing he does on Vibras pretty much every time he tries. In a world where the top tier of Urbano Latino can get billions of views on YouTube and compete internationally with the biggest American superstars, J Balvin is the artist most excited to lead the movement, the most well-versed in its potential.

As the title suggests, Vibras is a record of concrete vibes. J Balvin is aware that a lot of his listeners will not go through the trouble of translating his lyrics, so he makes sure that even people who didn’t take Spanish in high school will grasp what he’s trying to do. All you need to know about ‘Mi Gente’ is found in the now-iconic stuttering vocal sample that starts the song, and the crux of ‘Cuando Tú Quieras’ is a similar sample being flipped into something sultry and seductive, functioning at just as high a level. Vibras seems masterfully curated, even if lots of the songs are anomalies. However, these anomalies don’t just stand out but elevate the power of the straighter, simpler reggaeton songs. ‘En Mí’ is a lovelorn ballad, ‘Brillo’ finds an unlikely pairing with ROSALÍA, who is at the peak of her melodic prowess, and ‘Machika’ ends the album with an almost overly lit EDM crossover. Everything works and it’s wonderful.

9. Bark Your Head Off, Dog- Hop Along

When Frances Quinlan unleashes her raspy, crackling yelp, you know important shit is about to go down. Hop Along have always specialized in a very particular type of drama. They have a penchant for telling stories with a candor that makes it feel like you’re eavesdropping, like you’ve stumbled upon a goldmine of gossip that you shouldn’t be hearing but are far too morbidly curious to plug your ears. The juiciness can come in the form of bureaucratic academia scandals, sexual overtones in the Bible, or the ever-so-relatable struggle of watching Watership Down expecting a kid’s movie, but observing a bloody festival of rabbit slaughter instead. The twists and turns are spot-on and frequently hilarious. If Bark Your Head Off, Dog’s ideas were expanded into prose, it would be a top-tier collection of short stories.

Amidst all the motifs surface nine expertly crafted rock songs that worm around with the utmost purpose, with each chorus/bridge/coda packing enough zest to fuel the whole track. Quinlan’s grip on these melodies is first-rate, as if she’s being swept up by something bigger yet going to painstaking lengths to ensure every tonal phase is spot-on. Bark Your Head Off, Dog is consistent to the point of near-perfection. It doesn’t take long for it to sink in that every song is a highlight, a beacon of emotion that capitalizes on every glimmer of melodic brilliance. Yet somehow, it’s impossible to predict where these songs will go. Often, strings or screams will emerge from out of nowhere, other times are doused in pure, saccharine pop music. Hop Along have mastered spontaneity to the point where nothing feels tacked on. There are so many dimensions to their sounds/stories that you’ll unpack something new with each listen.

8. Nothing Is Still- Leon Vynehall

Leon Vynehall is a practical musician. His last album was, literally, “designed to dance”; a myriad of songs at a streamlined, club-ready BPM that progressed with the pace of a night out. His fascination with multi-dimensionality in house music is abundantly clear. He’s always going to find a new way to be inventive, always ready with a brand new purpose.

Nothing Is Still tests house music’s limits with biography, each song representing a “chapter” or “footnote” in the life of Vynehall’s grandparents, particularly their emigration from England to New York City in the 1960s. Of course, this music is instrumental, so the introspection is all atmospheric, a hard thing to pull off. Thankfully, Vynehall comes up with some sky-scraping, impassioned music, channelling something very vivid. The ambient pieces on this album are textured and passionate. They must be immediate illustrations of the flood of emotion Vynehall experienced in the wake of his grandfather’s death, when he was fully gripped by the narrative, and decided to go down the rabbit hole. It’s oddly tangible, and even without the backstory, the distant grooves on this album could overwhelm you. It’s a bold feat to try and soundtrack something you didn’t directly experience, but the emotional depth packed in this electronic period piece can only be the result of extensive research and nights of curious catharsis. Taking your craft seriously is one thing; creating a record that brims with such sensitivity and personal importance without saying a single word is something else.

7. Harutosyura- Harunemuri

Whatever is being fused on Harutosyura, whether it be pop-punk and rap or hardcore and electronica, yields intense results. It’s not your standard foray into J-pop; Harunemuri are sure to make compact bubbles that writhe and spin before they burst, leaving behind a barrage of glitzy choruses and whines that sound like they’re at the end of an exhausting a potentially lethal chase. It’s chaos, but it’s also rich and entirely unique. Some songs will wear out a stunning riff before collapsing in a fit of aggression; others prefer to reach a screeching halt out of nowhere, only to come back stronger than ever to provide a new angle on their beauty. They will confuse you with the effortless strides they hit, especially because they sound like they are trying to cram every emotion they’ve ever experienced into one note. It’s too dramatic not to be entertaining and too action-packed not to constantly revisit. Even the most animated could only dream of channelling the flux of Harutosyura.

6. A Brief Inquiry Into Online Relationships- The 1975

It’s been steady growth for The 1975. In their early days, they were a subtly good indie-rock boy band who mostly sang songs designed to get teenage girls a bit too excited. I probably hated them without having heard any of their stuff. Then, they became this overly ambitious 80s glam-rock monster, packing many standard pop bops on their sophomore album, but filling the space between them with tracks that sounded like shoegaze/post-rock/gospel parody (to be clear, I thought it was brilliant). Now, they are one of the most outspoken, monumental bands of our generation, still silly, but absolutely drowning in good ideas. Without hyperbole, I think they are the most exciting thing to happen to the band format in a long time.

Their main thing is that they do the most. Even when the pleasures are simple, Matt Healy is yelling a bit too close to your ear, throwing out commentary that masquerades as ill-fitting until you realize it’s actually super clever and eloquent. The main draw, however, is how every time they turn the page, they land on a song that immediately traps you. Additionally, all these ideas are fresh and essential. The centerpoint is ‘Love It If We Made It’, a tabloid-esque collage of cultural commentary that woos you with its timeliness as Healy throws his entire voice towards a scream of “modernity has failed us!” The rest of the singles range from the best 80s-movie pool party throwback of the year, a rainbow of soothing horns and romantic ennui, a finger-wagging burst of 29-year old wisdom, and a smugly confused radio song. Deeper in the album lie cautionary tales on Internet death told by a robot, Bon Iver-ian swaths of autotuned warbling transformed into high-tier experimental techno, a nocturnal barroom jazz track...I could go on like this for paragraphs lol. The point is, everything they try works and everything that works sticks with you. For an album where a bunch of millenials spend an hour obsessing over the “digital age,” A Brief Inquiry has too much charm.

5. Knock Knock- DJ Koze

If I have to hear someone call DJ Koze some variation of “house music’s biggest prankster” again, I swear to god (haha). I know he can be pretty goofy, and there are many moments on Knock Knock that project this goofiness. Some of the vocal samples (“I need a little light here!”, “I know the future better than you know the past”) are kitsch for sure, but there is no understating this man’s profound talent. He will find a sample, find another sample, and mix the two into something hypnotic. I don’t know if he stumbles upon these grooves or if they are vastly premeditated through some process where he hears an old record, his ears perk up and, poof, a full-fledged house banger surfaces in his mind. He’s always been willing to push the envelope, but on Knock Knock he fully embraces his versatility and distinctiveness. Even the most random sounds he throws into the blender make absolute sense in the sugary, hyper-charged context they’re presented.

Not all of this will sink in quickly, but there are some clear hard-hitters. ‘Pick Up’ floods into the mix like a warm embrace from a long-lost friend, creating a vibe that could and should continue forever. Yet all it does is chop up two 70s soul songs and loop them into oblivion, carrying such a heavy emotional load while staying relatively stagnant. The fat, throbbing bassline on ‘Bonfire’ makes Justin Vernon sound dreamier than he ever has before. ‘Illumination’ is a steady build to an ultimately glorious release, a masterclass in the sly emergence of its drop. It’s all so glistening and nostalgic. There’s sniffs of rap, folk, R&B, techno but none of the paths diverge from the cohesive sonic wonderland. Some prank lol.

4. Aviary- Julia Holter

When do you decide to make your magnum opus? How do you figure out that, after your most accessible album and a whole decade of building your own distinctive take on baroque, your next project would be 90 minutes of the densest, most sonically ambitious music you’ve ever released? Aviary is the type of album you wouldn’t want to put out until you are totally ready. Thankfully, Holter has every reason to be confident in her abilities. She knows when to sustain a wall of noise and when to interject with a mutter or an instrumental collapse. She knows how to pile reverb-drenched choirs onto light orchestration and how to let her voice soar while maintaining the necessary space. To pull off a sprawling, abstract project like this, you need to be some kind of genius. I don’t use that word lightly.

Aviary is meditative. Crammed with songs that linger for as long as they do without hitting a conventional stride, the dynamism is contagious. You genuinely have no idea where each song will go and there is such an abundance of feeling that it’s practically impossible to take it all in. It’s a world that you can untangle, plowing deeper and deeper into it and getting lost in the spectacle. At one moment it’s stressful, and in the next, it’s meditative. The declarations are profound. It’s a rejection of cynicism, and a full-fledged embrace of the simplest, most overpowering emotions, taking pride in the capacity to be swept away. Have you ever fallen in love? Sometimes love can be bitter and toxic, but other times, it is something worthy of a welcome parade, something that will make you loudly weep while you’re clutching onto it. That’s the scope of Aviary, a record that has no qualms about melting into gibberish, as long as it is fully evocative.

3. Be the Cowboy- Mitski

Mitski writes songs with such a penetrating, inhospitable gaze that she practically begs you to feel uncomfortable, even if she radiates warmth and empathy. She’ll come thru with a track about how much she loves her non-existent husband, how for all of eternity it will just be the two of them together, how they are doing better...it goes on until you’re pressed to think it’s a joke, but if it is, then why are you on the verge of tears? Then you sit, ponder, and start considering what it means to “be the cowboy.” Is cowboy swagger one that swoops in on a literal horse, becomes an all-or-nothing imposition of hyper-dominance, and carries itself like it’s the only thing that matters? Or is the one that takes you to a diner after years of silence, Blue Diner to be precise, and suffocates you with a lull while quietly reminding you that it will always keep a part of you? Vulnerability is Mitski’s forte. Whether it’s cloaked in sarcasm, painfully earnest, or deeply internalized, hers is a narrative so potent that you can’t help but unload all your emotional burdens alongside it.

Be the Cowboy is the moment when you’ve revealed so much about yourself to someone that for a second, it’s actually terrifying how quickly and easily they could undermine your whole existence. It’s naked but unconcerned, taking pride in its ability to crumble. Somehow, there’s nothing forced about the painstaking introspection; Mitski is fully committed to baring her soul without simplifying it or suffocating in self-righteousness. It’s equal parts defensive and dejected. You can only be reminded about the impossibility of idealization so much before you start to get confused. But when it’s as outrageous and tortured as this, it stops being a statement and becomes a full-fledged celebration. It painful to to watch, but it hurts even more to turn away.

2. El Mal Querer- Rosalía

Sometimes an album comes along feeling like such a pinnacle of a movement while deifying any categorization. It’s like Rosalía as a concept has been around forever, taking in influence from so many times and places and feelings...but nothing has ever really sounded like this. “Flamenco-pop” is a feeble label for something that so frequently whirls into a trance, belting out unhinged cries of fervor and then, on the next song, lifting a melody from Justin Timberlake. It’s like everything is being re-contextualized on here, and the result is a record that exists in its own time and space, refusing to branch out in favor of planting its own garden.

Rosalía lives for melodrama, which could be cloying if she didn’t justify it so well. It’s like her voice is always on the cusp of breaking out into a 30-second howl, which holds even when she coos a top nothing but a faint drum or a car engine noise. It takes a deep appreciation of your culture and history to be able to sound so universal without simply pining for an older vibe. Rosalía is constantly finding a way to go beyond that, subtly slipping autotune into a crevice that traditionalists would leave uncontaminated, developing sticky hooks without basing the whole song around them. When your core is a developed movement like flamenco but your crowd is the Spanish mainstream, you need more than a pinch of experimentation. El Mal Querer goes beyond that, not leaving any strand of its influences unexplored. Rosalía examines the age-old beauty of the form from every angle she can, shaking it up and seeing how it explodes.

1. Die Lit- Playboi Carti

What does it take to be the album of the year? Well...clearly not lyrical substance, or curt editing, or biting social commentary. The prerequisites for quality are getting harder and harder to pin down. All I know is that Die Lit feels like the album that all the over-saturated glut was building up to/the culmination of the ideas set forth by boundary pushers like Future or Young Thug/the logical conclusion to the intersection between lean-soaked hedonism and fine art. Don’t quote me, but we might not do any better than this. At the end of the bloated tunnel, there’s Playboi Carti squawking into oblivion, deconstructing the style that birthed him over beats that could’ve been produced by, like, Oneohtrix Point Never or Ricky Eat Acid or something.

Playboi Carti is a trailblazer. The most common critique of him is that “all he does is ad-libs, he honestly can’t even rap, and what’s good with all that autotune?” Back to my point about this being the logical conclusion of trap; removing the filler between the ad-libs is a fucking genius idea, an assured embrace of what you do best. I mean, imagine if Migos just went “uhh!” and “mama!” and didn’t have Quavo’s uninspired autotune weighing them down...it happens sometimes, and it’s beautiful. Carti’s ad-libs can be as simple as “what?” or “bih!”, and they are usually presented like a highly calculated flick of emotion, like the mechanics for a precise accentuism. Plenty of guests show up on Die Lit, and none of them have any trouble carving a space in Carti’s world. This makes sense when it’s Thugger or Travis Scott, but it is especially potent when it’s Nicki Minaj and Bryson Tiller, people who rarely delve into this type of experimentation on their own. Carti is so infectious that everyone is eager to step in his space and explore how they can dismantle their own form.

All of it is a daring experiment, especially in the moments where Carti tests the limits of his style, seeing how long he can hold the silence before getting swept into a verse, measuring how layered his voice can get before it crumbles and melts. Give Carti credit where credit is due, but Die Lit would be nothing without its producers, especially Pierre Bourne, who constructs a hazy, awe-inspiring fever dream whenever he hops behind the boards. Not only does this steer hip-hop into the direction it needed to go; it takes notes from the masters of ambient techno, blending snippets of overwhelming synths or vocals into beats that any lesser rapper would have no idea how to ride. When you’re on the forefront of the most widely consumed genre, it’s a lot of responsibility. Die Lit is one of the most forward-thinking statements in the hip-hop yet. At this point, Carti and his team are incapable of producing a song that doesn’t test boundaries or warp seasoned assumptions about what works.

[holden-norgorov]

A seriously angry recap of all the things I hated in the finale.

Because I had to write down all the disappointment and outrage that I have inside, otherwise it will consume me until I die. I had to give vent to everything that disgusted me in a less-detatched, more personal way than the unemotional one my objective thoughts usually are expressed with. If you want to read highly pissed-off complaints for healing purposes, this is your post. 

Implying that discovering that your mother is also your step-sister is a more validating reason to commit murder than being yourself a victim of physical and psychological abuses for years during your childhood. Offensive, short-sighted, self-erasing. By suggesting that Wolfgang killed his father and uncle out of this revelation, the writers nullified the character’s self-worth, depth and integrity.

“I’m not worth it”. “Wolfgang, you are!” It turned out he wasn’t worth it at all because things didn’t change. Nobody had any kind of conversation and the result was that Kala was portrayed as happy staying in the loveless, unhealthy marriage she was already in and that Wolfgang kept being the “lover” who wasn’t worth being chosen. Rajan became suddenly so important that an entire two-seasonal storyline of the most epic love story of all time had to be thrown out of the window just to please him? Who the fuck cared about him? He was selfish and sexist for two seasons, and a lame, uninteresting character with no personality beyond being a kiss-ass.

Capheus being a clown for all the episode irritated the fuck out of me. He had always been particularly joyful, but 1) not at this ridiculous, over-the-top level, and especially 2) not under these circumstances. This is war. They are all risking their lives and could be found and killed in any seconds. He is risking his whole political career and has left all his loved ones home alone. One of his clustermates is imprisoned in a BPO facility and likely being tortured. This is possibly the worst you could get: this episode was not meant to feature lighthearted, careless people joking around and being idiotic. His behavior is completely inappropriate and disrespectful of the situation. Someone with a brain, in those circumstances, would have slapped him in the face. What the fuck.

Nomanita getting an entire scene exclusively used to provide a last-minute backstory capable of justifying Lana’s selfish decision of taking Paris from Kalagang and giving it to them out of nowhere and with no apparent reason. I am so mad about this, it almost seems deliberate from Lana. Paris was a turning point for Kalagang, a pivotal moment that represented their first and only chance in all the show to be finally happy and together. Nomanita already had it all. Nomanita have always been the healthiest, happiest couple. They could have married literally anywhere else and it would have changed nothing in their relationship, because they had already had 24 episodes of domestic and happy moments. Why Paris of all cities? This was an intentional betrayal to Kalagang fans and storyline.

Lito’s freak-out about the carbs is beyond any fucking comment. It vividly looks like they all are on camping, or taking a funny, enjoyable trip. The writers should be ashamed of themselves for cheapening such a beautiful show and such wonderful characters with stupid moments like this and so many others (such as: Nomi’s coffee moment, Wolfgang jokingly pointing the rocket launcher on Capheus, Rajan asking Kala to teach him to use a gun as if they were not in a dangerous, life-or-death situation but just having fun, Puck with Sun’s hair and so on: there are a lot).

Sun and Mun being OOC as fuck and acting as if they were old acquaintances was just ridiculous and forced to an exponential level. This is entirely the writers’ fault and has nothing to do with time constraints, because the writing was just cheap and the characters unrecognizable. They had only met twice before this phone call (and both times by mistake). Sun here was weirdly intimate and emotively open despite having been closed and guarded of her interiority for two seasons sometimes even with her other selves. Mun was the very definition of cringe. “I think those two words might have made getting shot worth it.” Give me a fucking break. Who are these people? And don’t even get me started on the inconsistency with the line “I am not very good with words” that goes directly against the very reason why Sun was interested in him in the first place (i.e. the passionate way he talked about her to her teacher and the cautious but accurate analysis he provided of her psychology while fighting in the graveyard). Here they were odd and extremely cliché to the point of contrasting with their very essence.

Capheus greeting Rajan in that way was so wrong and insulting both to attentive viewers and to all the people in this world unable to obtain proper medications for themselves or their loved ones. It disregarded and destroyed everything about Capheus’ character and almost made me vomit. Rajan embodied all the socially powerful people directly responsible for Shiro’s improved sickness that almost caused her death in S1. Rajan’s unethical business was the very reason why Capheus had to be involved with Silas Kabaka in the first place, resulting in all his S1 storyline that almost led him to his death. Do any of you remember Capheus and Kala’s expressions when Rajan revealed this? Both of them had never been so hurt and incredulous during all the show. Capheus’ blind forgiveness of someone who was the ultimate reason of one entire season of his suffering and fighting for survival left me utterly speechless and offended. The writers turned all of this into a joke, especially considering Capheus storyline in S2: he had decided to politically represent his country, his own people, exactly because of the injustices they had to face on a daily basis because of poverty and unfair hierarchy. Welcoming Rajan, the symbol of this hierarchy that basically made his whole life a living hell, in that way was incredibly unbelievable. I was seriously shocked by this.

Kala’s behavior when Rajan arrives in Paris can be explained only in two ways: a) either she was on drugs all the time, which means she was capable of making them using her knowledge as chemist and then taking them because she was so desperate for Wolfgang that she wanted to be high, or b) she was just under a love spell. These are the only explanations to the way she behaves here; in both cases, she clearly wasn’t herself. Logic, continuity and coherence were all non-existent. The facts: Kala had made promises to Wolfgang both in 2x10 and 2x11 and the only reason why she hadn’t explained things to Rajan yet was that he had shut her off and sent her away without giving her the opportunity to do so. But her mind was crystal-clear and she was finally ready (in fact, her entire storyline had been built in order to make her brave enough to finally make this decision). But in here, she betrayed every promise she had made to Wolfgang and basically became a lying coward, erasing all the character development she had been through. She acted as a bitch. This confrontation was unavoidable at this point. She let Rajan believe that the real problem in their marriage was her nature as a sensate, which actually has never been a source of conflict at all (she didn’t want to marry Rajan even before realizing what she was). I wanted to slap her for how she acted in this whole episode. She also really felt under a love spell because for 23 episodes she had never spontaneously kissed Rajan before out of sincere will. In 1x02, Rajan kissed her and she didn’t even return the kiss (the only reason why she didn’t break it was that they were at their engagement party and it would have been highly inappropriate); in 2x01 she kissed him out of pity and guilt because she felt responsible for breaking his dick and ruining their honeymoon. And that was it. So, witnessing her starting a kiss to a man she spent two seasons being uncomfortable with (especially physically) and feeling objectified by felt really wrong and unexpected and utterly unreasonable. She seriously looked like she was on drugs, I was in disbelief.

Aunt Kirsty overtaking a whole team of BPO soldiers supposedly using her unknown superpower ninja abilities was so ridiculous and cheap that it was like the writers themselves wanted to prove us that they could do everything they wanted and ruin all the show’s credibility as they pleased. Seriously what the fuck was that. Sense8 became a cartoon for kids and we didn’t know? God.

The complete lack of Wolfgang’s PTSD was absolutely unforgivable and unrealistic. We are talking about a man who spent all of his life building several walls to protect himself from the outside, trying to keep everyone at distance exactly because of the traumas he experienced since childhood that he couldn’t recover from. He has always been emotionally secretive and unavailable to everyone except Kala (and she took two seasons of serious efforts to make him finally open up and expose himself). He was tortured daily several times when he was under BPO’s captivity: he had and needed to show both physical and psychological scars in the aftermath. PTSD was a natural response that inevitably had to happen and be shown both for credibility and for a matter of character’s coherence and integrity. Wolfgang being rescued from this severely traumatizing condition and not showing the slightest consequence of it was beyond idiotic. And worse: from that moment he actually started acting more carefree and behaving in the exact opposite way than the one that should logically be expected from someone with his personality going through an experience like that. He started joking around and taking everything lightly and in a more emotionally invested way than he had ever done even before this imprisonment. It was like watching a fairy tale of stupid bullshit. What a fucking mess.

Rajan’s evident privileged treatment from the writers was so obvious and cheap that it ended up being nausea-inducing. He was literally everywhere and for no reason at all since he had no abilities. In the club, he is the only sapiens being close to the physical exchange. Why on this planet should this be safe or acceptable or even convenient since he is incapable of doing anything? Every other non-sensate was far away, even members of the Cluster such as Lito who could have been useful through sharing. Instead Rajan was on the front. Ok. And the idea that Wolfgang, a taciturn man who spent two seasons being jealous of Rajan, would spontaneously approach him and thank him for doing absolutely nothing is hilarious. Rajan didn’t save Wolfgang. Kala was the one who intervened to prevent Lila from shooting him. Rajan stepped in only to save Kala and was able to steal Lila’s gun just because she was already being attacked. And as soon as that happened, she took the gun back because Rajan obviously didn’t have a clue on what he was doing (which is acceptable, because he just wasn’t suitable for that situation: the mistake was including him there in the first place). Daniela herself had been previously shown to be comfortable in using a gun. Why not exposing her to the physical place of the exchange instead of Rajan? I seriously don’t get it. Which advantage could Rajan provide to the situation? The writers were so transparent. The same can be said with the Napoli’s scene. Rajan is the only sapiens entering the camorra building without any reason or combat skill. WHY. Not only he is untrained and incapable, but he also doesn’t even know the plan (Kala has to explain it to him while already inside and targeted by enemies!). It’s like they did everything in their power to include Rajan everywhere and let him be some kind of saver or hero that he clearly is not. The writing was insulting. Rajan mistakes a taser for a gun but then uses that same taser to save Kala’s life? How stupid do the writers think we are, exactly? Not to mention that Wolfgang being unable to treat Kala’s stomach wound was completely OOC, but then again, Kala and Wolfgang were both RAPED as characters in every way possible in this episode. Wolfgang was able to canonically treat a much worse wound when Felix was almost killed despite being in evident pain. This was all ridiculous. And what about Lila shooting Kala in the stomach? In this very episode she was able to shoot dead five people at a great distance without even trying when stealing Whispers. She was a hired gun, and here Kala was literally in front of her. Nothing in this scene makes the slightest sense, I swear.

The scene where Will asked where Sun was, as if he wasn’t able to mentally connect with her was absurd. And Nomi actually taking five minutes to visit her was just a cheap way for the Sun x Mun exchange to happen and was incoherent. “I found Sun” doesn’t make sense because they are telepathically connected and Nomi shouldn’t need to find her. Cheapness for everyone.

Kala spontaneously kissing Rajan again when she finally has the occasion to physically be with the love of her life after he was tortured and nearly killed is probably the most absurd and embarrassing moment I have ever seen in television. It’s beyond any rational comment at this point. I was about to throw something at my screen. And Wolfgang accepting this despite probably believing that Kala and Rajan had already talked things through was incoherent, unthinkable and hysterical. WHO-ARE-THESE-CHARACTERS. This moment destroyed me more than I can convey with words. It was a betrayal to two seasons of marvelous Kalagang growth and development. I could ramble about how much I hate this moment for pages, but I already wrote a post about it and it would be better for me not to stop too much on this because it literally broke my heart and enraged me more than anything else ever did. Kala and Wolfgang were entirely different characters.

Jonas and the Mother talking like walking encyclopedias contrast so heavily with the cheap writing of the episode that their scenes end up being really laughable and impossible to be taken seriously.

The song sequence was completely useless, pure fanservice garbage that stole real usable time that was very much needed since many storylines were left entirely open without justifications. The “What’s Up” moment in 1x04 became iconic because it conveyed a precise message that was the core of all the show, was a set up for everything that came after and had also the purpose to show the ability of each character to connect all together for the first time. Instead, the song sequence in this episode was obviously insert only because the first one really gained a huge success in the fandom and they simply wanted to reply it for fanservice purposes. But this was entirely pointless and the very definition of a waste of time. The characters felt very much like the actors themselves goofing around, and there were also completely avoidable coherence mistakes (Felix and Rajan on the train) that cheapened the already-compromised credibility of it all. The editing of all the episode was bad, especially in this scene.

Other time gets wasted showing characters eating pizza without a tie to the plot or anything at all. Were the writers deliberately trying to make the worst choices possible? They basically did everything wrong and handled the time horribly.

I already talked about the bullet scene, but Kala being able to visit Wolfgang while unconscious was another cheap mistake. I’m particularly angry because for 23 episodes Sense8 was able to be almost flawless in coherence, but this episode is just a giant mess. This moment is OOC and simply wrong on every aspect, and who wrote it surely must have been a stranger to the show.

The last half-hour of the Special is so weird. It’s like the writers suddenly forgot that the main characters are sensates. Will asking Kala what she wants was another ridiculous moment that was so incoherent with their scene in 2x08 that I seriously considered this to be an intentional way for the writers to let us know that they willingly fucked up with Kalagang. The main peculiarity of their interaction in 2x08 was that Will was able to read Kala’s emotions without asking and state out loud what she was afraid to admit to herself: that she loved someone else. Their interaction in 2x08 was based on clarifying that Kala was not suffering from a feeling indecision but a morality struggle, and that Will exactly knew what she wanted. Their moment in 2x12 disregards everything about it. Will acts like he doesn’t already know what she feels and asks her questions as if he couldn’t read her emotions, and Kala is supposed to show signs of romantic indecisiveness despite her troubles were never feelings-related? In 2x08 Kala couldn’t stop talking haphazardly (as she always does when concerned about something) and here she just silently shrugs? This moment is beyond laughable and goes against everything established before, and the characters are frankly unrecognizable.

It’s unbelievable the idea that two whole seasons of perfect Kalagang development led to a conclusion where Kala holds hands with Rajan and Wolfgang sits behind them as a complete stranger. It feels like a nightmare. I am homicidal about this. They really destroyed them, both as a couple and individual characters.

 Amanita clearly states in 1x07 that she is afraid of and hates fireworks because they symbolize war and are a failure. So why is she perfectly happy here when they are used during her own wedding? It wasn’t that hard not to be OOC. The writers really wanted to discredit the canon in every way, I’m incredulous.

The conclusive physical, actual orgy which includes also non-sensate characters sends a horrible message. First, it goes completely against the symbolical meaning of the previous orgies (which were meant to show the sensates’ ability to share sexual arousal every time someone in the Cluster was having actual sex; it was nothing physical or carnal but purely abstract and metaphorical). Second, it’s highly offensive to asexual people, because sex is conceived here as the highest expression of love and the only way to resolve untouched confrontations (instead of having actual conversations). Third, it provides sexual erasure to Lito (canonically gay), Nomi (canonically lesbian) and Kala (canonically demisexual). Fourth, it goes against the well-praised theme of inclusivity and diversity of the show because everyone at the end turns out to be the same (pansexual), thus erasing every single representation provided in the previous episodes. Fifth, it portrays an unfair and insulting view on how sexuality actually works. The idea of a man — whose entire storyline is built around the fact that he is completely, exclusively gay and couldn’t manage to even fake a relationship with a woman — willing to have sex out of the blue with someone of the opposite sex is gross and actually sick. Sexuality is highly intimate and personal: it’s not about open-mindedness, but about self-comfort. It’s disrespectful to think that a gay man would be okay to get laid with a woman, because he just is by nature not comfortable in that situation. I am a straight guy and I could never picture myself with another man, it would make me unhealthily uncomfortable with myself. This applies to everyone’s very own sexuality. The same can be said for Kala, who here is depicted as a promiscuous woman willing to share her body with the very same man who she couldn’t bring herself to feel comfortable with for two seasons. Kala was a very moral person described as demi-sexual and she could only be comfortable in a sexual scenario with Wolfgang because they are sensates and their level of trust and connection is unparalleled. If Wolfgang and Kala hadn’t been sensates inside each other’s heads and feelings, Kala would have never slept with him: she needed that kind of intimacy and closeness to open up sexually. The Kala who pulls Rajan down and gets almost hungry of being used as a sex object here is not the usual Kala from the first 23 episodes, it’s another character entirely who sends a conservative and sexist unacceptable message.

Wolfgang’s sudden bisexuality is not representation, nor something to be proud of: it’s just an offensive, out-of-nowhere twist created only for shock value. One of the first traits that we understand about him in the show is that in order to avoid opening up emotionally, he constantly sleeps around with women only. This is canonically confirmed in two occasions: first, in 1x04, when he and Felix talk about their teenager adventures, nothing is mentioned about them being open to relationships with other boys (and if Wolfgang had been bisexual, it would have surely been pointed out in this moment); second, in 2x01, we canonically see him picking up girls using a date-app which features women only. This highly indicates that he is not into men, because if he was, he wouldn’t hide it at all. Also, if he had really been sexually attracted to men, he would have surely fallen for Felix because of how close they are, and this didn’t happen. This is not to say that sexuality is permanent or unaffected by change. But if Wolfgang’s character arc had really been about a sexuality struggle, an appropriate path of self-discovery should have been shown and developed carefully. People just don’t wake up and decide to change sexual orientation out of the blue. These things require internal process and self-questioning. This sudden twist is a joke to people who really have to face a complex self-examination in order to understand whether their sexuality is changing or evolving.  

Wolfgang touching Rajan’s lips before kissing him is a slap on the face of Kalagang’s fans because that was THEIR intimate gesture, and theirs alone. 

Wolfgang and Rajan barely know each other. Wolfgang would NEVER perform that private gesture with anyone but Kala, and the idea that he would make love to her with her husband included is pure nuts. This was the ultimate bullshit from the writers who managed to annihilate everything about Kalagang. It’s almost as if Lana had personal reasons to sabotage them in every way possible, because the result is just too heavy-handed and transparent not to be intentional. I seriously hope that she didn’t feel the need to ruin them just because they are a straight couple, because that would make her discriminatory and petty as fuck. This moment was seriously unwatchable and unbearable. I don’t have the proper words to describe the utter disgust I really experienced.  

#sense8 #sense8 special #amor vincit omnia #i needed to give vent to my hurt feelings #and to expell some rage that is consuming me since june 8 #i'm grossed out #lana fucked up so hard I lost the respect I had towards her as a writer #this is beyond insanity #kalagang #anti rajalagang

[cometthespacechinchilla]

🔥 about any LI from any story

*whispers* I didn’t like Helena’s S1. And trust me, I really wanted to.

It’s been over a month, so my memory may have altered some things post processing, but I do know during the entire thing I didn’t really feel... like her story was all that compelling. I felt they hinted at too much and didn’t show enough, the romance between MC and Helena felt rushed, and it was usually the last route I would read when it was released. They already had a good model for her personality and story, and I felt that it didn’t come through nearly at all.

What made Helena so compelling and interesting as a character in Atlea’s route, for me, was her struggles with her relationship with the Witch Queen, and I felt it was massively glossed over, rushed, and could have been handled better. In Altea’s routes, I was rooting for her, I wanted her redemption, I wanted her to have a chance to really be happy. MC didn’t treat her all that differently in each route, but her reaction was different. The fact that Helena chose MC so quickly, even facing down her abuser, after days didn’t fit. Especially because in Altea’s route, it is shown as a slow process where she learns she doesn’t have to take her shit and that she can redeem herself. Yes, Helena had a lot more contact with MC in her route, but still. Days.

When the Witch Queen sent soldiers to kill Helena, she didn’t act surprised or upset. She expected it. And yeah, she obviously didn’t let them succeed, but that’s Alain’s thing, not her’s. But I think that if MC hadn’t and continued to be a positive presence in her life (someone who definitely had reasons to want nothing to do with her), she would have still tried to find a way back to the Queen. Because she is nothing if not loyal.

I know they only have a certain amount of time to get from point A to point B, and they had to match up with Alain’s route, but I think both of them would have benefited by extending to S2 (like with the other routes) before dropping the Witch Queen bomb. I think her story was done a disservice with the speed, but that’s just me. 

Alain’s quick turn gets less judgement from me, because he had the memories of Witch Queen/MC before she turned all blue and evil. Speaking from experience, I would go over to the nice version in no time (once I verified that it wasn’t some sort of trick). Sure it was still fast, but they at least had the background, plus in his S2 already I can tell that the abuse has followed him even now, given how he interacts with MC. It has less of the blind loyalty, but it still feels like he’s unreasonably worried about disappointing her and probably would roll over the moment MC got mad. 

Helena only knows blue and evil Witch Queen, so a kind and gentle version would be completely foreign to her. She has a set way of understanding their relationship, she didn’t have to adjust to a new woman like Alain did. And he did reveal that he for a long time didn’t give up hope on returning her to her old self. In fact, he literally told her that MC had finally exorcised the evil bitch in S2. This was more or less what he wanted.

Not sure how Helena’s S2 will go, but I will be interested in how the MC-Helena-Witch Queen dynamic continues.

Woooow, this was long. But then again beyond a couple posts I hadn’t spoken much of it. Others may have had similar complaints, but I think most people liked her route. At least, I have yet to see anyone say otherwise. And this is not to say that I hated it, I just didn’t like it. My feelings fall somewhere on the scale between “eh” and *so-so hand gesture*.

#helena klein #love and legends #disclaimer: all of this is opinion #i may also have forgotten parts of her route that explain her behavior better #feel free to add your thoughts #I normally wouldn't be this candid about a fan favorite #but y'all tend to be chill as a rule #so i feel i won't get yelled at #giulia2372 #a question!

[cassidvs]

☆ · ˚ . ✦ . ˚ { DOMINIC SHERWOOD, 23, HE/HIM } spotted! CASSIDY BARNES making their way down the streets of the ues. i swear, every time i hear SMOKING SECTION by ST. VINCENT, i think of them. the MALE is currently a SOCIALITE. though everyone knows them for being RESILIENT & FAITHFUL, page six says they could be ANTAGONISTIC & BULLHEADED. according to gossip girl, HE SPENT THE LAST 10 MONTHS IN PRISON IN LONDON, but that could be a rumor.

/re: history — the eldest son of a politician slash business man w/ his hands in foreign trade. a lost cause , dubbed ‘ wayward ’ by the polite and ‘ dirtbag ’ by the less so. 

a hellion in high school ; always talking loudly & ignoring teachers. someone who promised fun , but you would never , ever trust. as dangerous & ill - behaved as a feral dog , but with important parents & a heavy credit card. known almost exclusively as ‘ THAT ONE ASSHOLE ’.

forgoing college , cass hung around the same old haunts & continued to bruise knuckles & start fires. disappeared suddenly a week after his 22nd birthday and spent a year getting into trouble and then ??? prison !

now he’s back nd ready 2 party.

/re: personality — cass is a puppy whos always getting into trouble bc he has  waaaaaay 2 much energy...... its either FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT or hes passed tf out on a stranger’s bed. his actions seem random & reckless , warning signs of a wildly capricious ruffian. but hes less jejune and more stalwart : not a jester , but a powder keg. 

comes across as terribly apathetic or unreasonably aggressive. stubborn to the extreme -- its his way or the highway. ( & either way , he really doesnt care what you choose ) hell fight with u just for fun , & then forget about it a second later. 

his bullheadedness combined with a tricky temper makes him formidable : he wont back down , and fury makes him careless. hes never been the type to think too hard about what he says , he believes actions speak louder than words , and acts accordingly.

he doesnt give a shit abt anyones opinion -- their motivations , goals , thoughts -- they mean nothing to him. his own standards are golden , the only ones that matter. 

the type of person who u want to like u , even though u dont like them very much. intimidating at first , bc resting bitch face & a tendency to call bullshit when he smells it. difficult to impress -- impossible to ///BUT ? cass is also down for almost anything , & loathes responsibility. 

despite his penchant for discord , hes weirdly dependable ? if u call , hell be there. loyalty is ingrained into his very being. also hella honest ; lying just isnt his jam. 

hes lost , forever feeling restless. so hes always fucking around , causing trouble , trying desperately to find something that makes him feel WHOLE & not so fucking useless. good luck buddy !

this is barely coherent nd idk what im doing so basically : cass is an ass , but hell make u laugh nd embarrass u but have ur back in a fight. 

/re: connections — ideas can b found HERE . * present means it’s a current relationship , & they most likely didn’t know each other back in hs. * past + present means they’ve known each other for a while , & they have a past. if u don’t like any of those / they don’t fit ur muse , i’m always down 2 brainstorm ! 

HMU ANGELS !!!!

(im bunny btw she+her / pst)

#ueshqsintro #UMMMMM i forgot to introduce myself........

[dialovers-translations]

Diabolik Lovers GRAND EDITION for Switch ;; More, Blood ー Sakamaki Prologue

Monologue

ーー I asked him for eternal life.

As he looked back at me with a straight face,

a sudden laughter erupted from his lips and he spoke.

Rather than living peacefully as a pig,

I would rather suffer as a human. (1)

With a feeling of satisfaction, I gazed back at him. 

I did not even have to say,

that this was exactly the answer I was looking for.

He continued.

I want you to watch over the entirety of the human world.

Since my life will soon to come an end.

I nodded while laughing.

Despite its casual, hasty nature,

I was strongly aware of the fact that,

our promise was more important than anything else.

I shall become his eyes and keep watch.

Until the end of time...

How people and those who are not human meet,

and continue to mingle with each other.

Without a doubt, this must be my duty, as someone who was given eternal life.

Taking the place of he who has set his mind on menkind’s knowledge,

seeking out the ultimate truth and therefore has chosen,

to live as a human...

???: However, I am in despair.  By this feeling of loss.

What has been lost? I do not need to give the answer...

As the person who ate the apple...Continued to live on...We lost something truly valuable.

Everything degenerated, rotting away, falling victim

to what is known as corruption... (2)

*Tick tick*

???: There is no other way. Our new Eve...I shall leave everything in your hands.

*SHATTER*

Yui: ...!?

( Something made...an incredibly loud noise just now...? )

ー Yui awakens in her room

Yui: ...!?

( It sounded incredibly close...As if something got destroyed...But nothing seems to be wrong...? )

Am I just imagining thi...Eh? Waah!?

Ayato: Zzー .... Zzー ... The octopus...The octopus is...Its legs...

Yui: A-Ayato-kun!? Why are you here? ...Wait, octopus!?

( I should have been alone when I fell asleep yesterday...Wait, huh...!? )

Laito: Nfu...~ Bitch-chan...Come on...My mouth’s right ・ over・ here~ ♪

Yui: Laito-kun as well...

( On top of that...He seems to be having a weird dream. ...I don’t even want to imagine it... )

Kanato: Uunnー ...Teddy...I can’t...eat no more...Mm...

Yui: Kanato-kun too...

( Haah...I thought I was having some kind of strange dream, but at some point, these triplets muts have snuck inside my bed... )

*Rustle*

Yui: ( I’ll quietly sneak out...Trying my best not to wake them... )

Ayato: ... ーー Hold it.

ー Ayato moves on top of her

Yui: Eh...!?

Ayato: Where are you trying to go, leaving me behind? Chichinashi.

Yui: ...Ayato-kun...Y-You were awake...?

Ayato: ‘You’re awake’, my ass. (3) Answer my question.

Yui: Where...? ...Well...I’m a little thirsty so...Could you get off me?

Ayato: Don’t wanna.

Yui: B-But...I’m just...gonna go have a sip of water...Promised.

Laito: ーー You’re such a naughty girl, Bitch-chan~ 

Yui: Laito-kun...!?

Laito: Instead of you...We are the ones who are truly parched, you see~? Fufufu...

As your owners, soothing our parched throats should come first, right? Nfu...~ 

Yui: Y...You may say that but...

Kanato: Exactly...I figured you would get the gist by now, without us having to actually say it out.

Yui: Kanato-kun, you too...!?

Kanato: ...You are ridiculing us. It seems like you were wrongly assuming that you can act of your own accord just because we were asleep.

Yui: That’s not...

Kanato: Admit it...!

Yui: No...Even if you ask me to admit it...

( This is bad...By this point, it’s already too late to complain about their unreasonable requests so it can’t be helped, but...At this rate... )

Ayato: Oi, Kanato. Who cares ‘bout that bullshit. Move. I just woke up and I’m totally parched.

Chichinashi, let me suck you...

Yui: ( ...! Of course it turns out like this! )

*Rustle*

Ayato: ーー Hehehe...Keep still.

Yui: W-Wait...!!

Laito: Geez, Ayato-kun. You can’t hog her for yourself, you know? Nfu~

Did you forget about our gentlemen’s agreement which states Bitch-chan belongs to aaaaall of us~?

Ayato: Idiot. I’m not keeping her to myself or anything. It just means I get to suck her first.

Laito: I don’t like that excuse of yours...

Kanato: He’s right...Please don’t decide that by yourself.

Ayato: Shut up...Then why don’t we just all suck her at the same time!?

Laito: Nfu~ That’s what I like to hear! ...Aah, Bitch-chan writhing around in pleasure...

While being ganged up on by three Vampires...Just by imagining it...Haah, it gives me chills...!

Yui: ...W-Wait...That’s...

Ayato: What’s the matter? ...Aah? Aren’t you happy? You lewd woman...No point in still hiding it, we all know you love this. ...Don’t you?

Kanato: Fufu...Exactly. You love being toyed around with like this...almost as if we’re treating you like a little doll. 

Yui: That’s not true...!

Laito: Haah...No point in talking back when your cheeks are flushed like that...I’ve pretty much reached my limit...

Please give me your...delicious blood~ ♪

*Rustle*

Yui: ...!!

( A-At this rate, all three of them will...But...!! )

*Thump*

Yui: ...Not right now...!!

( My body...won’t move as I want it to. )

Ayato: Hehehe...Haah...Only your blood is of the finest quality, Chichinashi... 

ーー Here I come. I’ll thrust my fangs right into you...Deeply...Pushing the limits...

Kanato: Haah...Hey, look this way...Look at me...

Open your eyes wide, and watch from begining till end, okay? ...Fufu...

Yui: I can’t...!!

Reiji: That’s enough!

Yui: ...!?

Reiji: Haah...You lot, are you truly trying to have your fill in such a way first thing in the morning?

Not only is it shameful, but it shows of no manners. Honestly, you should be ashamed of yourself.

Yui: Reiji-san...

( T-Thank god...! )

Ayato: Che...What’s your problem...? Things were just ‘bout to get good...You should just join us too, Four-eyes! 

Reiji: In your dreams. Furthermore, I wish you’d refrain from using said nickname.

Come on, you too. Don’t just stand there with that dumb expression of yours and come over here.

ー Reiji pulls her closer

Yui: Ah...!

Reiji: Those fools snuck into your bed because you carelessly exposed your sleeping figure to them.

Yui: I...I’m sorry...

Reiji: Haah...I cannot help but doubt whether you are truly reflecting upon your actions or not.

Yui: ( I did lock my door before going to bed though... )

Reiji: Well then, you lot should stop lazing around and get up as well!

Laito: Haahー ...When your delicious snack gets confiscated right in front of your eyes, it’s hard to find the motivation to do so.

Kanato: My thoughts exactly...If I collapse at school, it’ll be yours...and Reiji’s fault, understood?

Yui: But...!

Reiji: Kanato. I am more than aware that your body is much more sturdy than it looks like.

You too, Laito! This ‘motivation’ you speak of is something that only shows itself in front of women, is it not?

Laito: Nfu~ Seems like you know me veeeeery well...Haah...

Guess it can’t be helped. Guess I’ll go and kill some time at school then...

Reiji: I will not take responsiblity if you get expelled again. Father warned you that there will be no second chances as well.

Laito: So scary...Nfu...~ 

ー Laito steps out of the room

Ayato: Che...Oi, Chichinashi! If you think you’re getting away with this, you’re gravely mistaken!

ー Ayato leaves as well

Kanato: Exactly...! Until I’ve had your blood...This anger inside of me will not settle down, so brace yourself!

ー Kanato steps away at last

Yui: Phew...

Reiji: It’s too early to sigh in relief. You should reconsider your own position as well.

Do you understand? That your blood...

ー He moves closer

Yui: ...!?

Reiji: Is more special than anyone else’s...

Yui: That’s...I’m trying to understand to the best of my abilities but...

Reiji: If you understand, don’t you think you should be a little more careful? ...Of me.

...Why are you turning your head away?

Yui: N-No...Well...Your face is awfully close so...Besides...

Reiji: Furthermore...?

Yui: Y-Your hands are on my hips...

Reiji: This is to lecture you, making sure you properly understand the situation you are currently in.

Yui: ( Uuuu...Reiji-san’s kind of...silent and scary... )

Please let go...

ー He steps away

Reiji: If you understand now, please take into account your current situation a little more, would you?

It feels as if the finest of feasts has a ribbon wrapped around it, wandering freely and up for grabs, so to speak.

It is a nuisance, frankly speaking. Although the other brothers do not seem to realize that.

Reiji: I am not the kind of person to lunge at and greedily devour a meal as soon as I lay my eyes on it, nor do I wish to do so.

However, if you continue to be this defenseless, even someone as myself will no longer be able to suppress my instincts with reason.

See, like this...

*Rustle*

Yui: ...!? 

( E-Even Reiji-san...!? )

Yui: S...Stop...!!

ー She closes her eyes

Reiji: You truly are a fool.

Yui: ...Eh!? 

W-Were you teasing me?

Reiji: Please do not ask me questions when the answer should be obvious.

Are you disappointed? That you didn’t get your blood sucked by me...?

Yui: That’s not...

Reiji: Well then, get ready already! The limousine will be here to pick us up in twenty minutes.

Yui: Yes...

ーー Ah, furthermore...How is your heart’s condition?

Yui: Eh...!?

Reiji: Fufu...Well then...

ー Reiji leaves the room

Yui: ( Somehow...Reiji-san seemed to speak some very profound words just now... )

Haah...Better get ready...

Monologue

Almost one month has passed since I came to this Sakamaki Manor,

after my father, a Priest at the Church, had to relocate abroad for his job.

It might be rude of me to say all these things, 

considering they are looking after me. However, the people living here,

are somewhat strange.

The ones sleeping in my bed earlier were the triplets,

Ayato-kun, Kanato-kun and Laito-kun.

The person who came to warn us midway,

is the second eldest son, Reiji-san.

I have yet to interact with them today,

but there’s also the eldest son Shuu-san,

and the youngest child Subaru-kun. The six of them are living here.

This may sound like a made-up story, but they are ーー

A family of six Vampires.

Furthermore, I’ve been told that I possess special blood and a special heart,

so I am being observed as their prey.

putting me into a position where I cannot run away.

I usually get to lead a fairly normal lifestyle, 

attending the night school for students with special circumstances,

known as Ryoutei academy, however...

Yui: ( Haah...I’m living with a bunch of Vampires and on top of that, they are feeding off my blood. This can’t be called ‘normal’ at all... )

( That being said...I wonder why Reiji-san suddenly asked about my heart...? )

Monologue

...I only found out about this after coming here,

but apparently my heart has been transplanted inside of me,

from Cordelia, who conincidentally happens to be the mother of the triplets.

I do not know the details either,

but a person called Richter who is their uncle,

transplanted the heart inside of me, or so they say. 

On top of that, as the daughter of the Demon Lord,

Cordelia is from a special bloodline, so as long as her heart remains intact,

it would be possible to ressurect her.

The reason why my blood is special as well,

can be attributed to Cordelia’s - the daughter of the Demon Lord - heart,

which has been buried inside of me...

Yui: ( However, it is weird how it is acting up only now, right...? Am I just imagining things? )

*TIMESKIP*

Yui: Okay, I have to get going soon.

( If I run late, I’ll be scolded by Reiji-san again. )

ー Yui leaves her room and steps outside into the hallway

Yui: Uhm...I didn’t forget anything, right...? If I recall correctly, today it’s Japanese (5), maths and English...Did I leave my dictionnary at school?

Ah, I have to return this one book to the library as well. I believe the return date is either today or tomorrow...

ー Yui trips over something

*Rustle*

Yui: ...!? Eh...?

Shuu: Ow...

Yui: S-Shuu-san...!?

( While lost in thought...I accidentally stepped on him... )

Shuu: I was asleep, you know...? Waking me up by stepping on me, huh...?

Yui: I-I’m so sorry...!!

( B-But...Sleeping in the hallway is kind of... )

Shuu: Haah...Che...I’m wide awake now...

Yui: I’m sorry...I really am.

Shuu: Nothing will change even if you apologize.

Yui: But, what should I do then...?

Shuu: What a pain...Do you really not get it unless I spell it out for you?

Yui: Eh...!? Kyah...!!

ー He pins her against the wall

*THUD*

Shuu: Blood, of course? If you want to make it up to me...That’s the only plausible solution, right?

Yui: ...No way...I do feel bad for stepping on you, but...

Shuu: If you feel bad...There’s something only you can do, right?

Yui: ...!?

Shuu: Beg for me to suck your blood. ...That’ll make up for it.

Yui: ( N-No way...That’s just asking for too much...! (6) ) 

Shuu: ...Seems like I haven’t disciplined you quite enough yet...

Yui: ...!!

Subaru: Oi, you’re in the way.

Shuu: ...Ah?

Yui: ...Subaru-kun...?

Subaru: Don’t make a fuckin’ fuss in the middle of the hallway. 

Shuu: Don’t interrupt my breakfast...

Subaru: Che. Don’t go latching onto her first thing in the morning!

Shuu: ...Shut up. ...Whatever. Just go already and take her with you.

Subaru: ...Che. Let’s go.

Yui: Ah...Y-Yeah...

ー Yui leaves with Subaru

Yui: ( I wonder if...Subaru-kun saved me just now? )

U-Uhm...Subaru-kun...Thank you for ear...

*THUD*

Subaru: Cut it out already!

Yui: ...!?

Subaru: Do you even know your own position!? ...Stop wanderin’ round while giving off that sweet scent!

Yui: Y-You may say that...but...

Subaru: I won’t stop you if you wish to run into trouble like that. However, if you don’t, then use that brain of yours already.

Yui: ...I’m sorry...Reiji-san told me the same thing earlier...

Subaru: Che. Then be more careful! I’m sure even you know what kind of fate lies ahead of a prey who carelessly loiters inside a beast’s cage.

Yui: Yeah...Sorry...

Subaru: Hmph. Don’t apologize to me, it’s annoying. Actually...Why did you choose to remain here despite the circumstances?

Yui: Why, you ask...?

Subaru: Have you never considered living by yourself if you don’t have any other place to go to? You do have a head sitting on top of your shoulders, don’t you?

Yui: Mmh...

Subaru: Haah...Fuck! Why am I this irritated!? I don’t get it!

Reiji: ーー Everyone! The limousine has arrived!

Subaru: ...Hmph. Whatever.

ー Subaru walks away

Yui: ( ...Haah...He left. )

Monologue

Subaru-kun’s reasoning is flawless. 

If I desperately tried to run away,

it might just have been possible. 

Yet, the reason I’ve decided to stay here is...

Honestly, I can’t explain it very well myself either.

Of course, the fact they threatened to kill me if I run plays a part in it too.

However, regardless of that, I feel like something inside of me,

is telling me that I should remain here.

I also figured that because my heart has been transferred inside of me,

from Ayato-kun and the other’s mother, which is what eventually led to me,

wanting to stay here.

However, just maybe...

Staying here and having them suck my blood,

might just be something I wish for myself,

is what I find myself thinking.

Yui: ( I can’t just blame this heart of mine. I just don’t get myself anymore... )

*TIMESKIP*

ー Everyone is sitting in the limousine

Reiji: Good grief...I am impressed by you guys’ skill to make such a ruckus over something as simple as who sits where.

Ayato: But it’s hella important? This girl’s blood belongs to us all, right?

Kanato: Exactly...I have to keep a close eye so she doesn’t get taken from right underneath my nose...

Yui: ...

Subaru: ...Oi, Yui. What are you spacing out for?

Yui: ...

Laito: Nfu~ Seems like she’s lost in thought. Hey, I know that you just can’t keep your mind off me but...~ 

Subaru: ...Is it my fault?

Shuu: She’s just sleepy, right?

Subaru: She’s not you, you know!? ...Oi, Yui!

Yui: Eh!? Ah...

Kanato: ...I’m surprised you still have the nerve to be lost in thought in this situation. Right, Teddy? ...This girl is so awfully inconsiderate...

Yui: I-I’m sorry. Did you try and talk to me?

Subaru: ...Che. Not really.

Yui: R-Really...?

( No good...I can’t get what happened earlier off my mind... )

( Once I started thinking about why I haven’t ran away... )

ー The car suddenly comes to a halt

Yui: Eh...!?

Ayato: Woah...!?

Laito: Heeh? What is happening...!?

*CRASH*

Yui: Kyaaaaaah...!!

ー The screen fades to white

( W-What on earth happened...? Was that an...accident just now? )

???: Have you awakened, Eve?

Yui: Eh...!? You are...?

???: Me? Are you interested in knowing who I am?

Yui: Of course I am...Actually, where am I...!?

???: Fufu. Eve is quite curious it seems. You, who does not fear losing something...You are the very definition of Eve.

Yui: U-Uhm...My name...isn’t Eve. Aren’t you mistaking me for someone?

???: ...To tell the truth, I am just a little embarrassed, knowing I should not to be doing this.

However, you have kept me waiting a little too long.

Even though I counted on your strength, waiting for the apple to ripen naturally...

The apple rotted away instead...It simply can’t be helped, so I have summoned you back here.

Yui: U-Uhm...

???: What do you think caused its degeneration?

Yui: Eh...?

???: I suppose you don’t? ...Very well. Then next time we meet, I shall have you know...

ー The mysterious man fades away

Yui: ...!? W-Wait...!!

Ayato: Oi, Chichinashi!

Yui: ...!?

Kanato: Ah, seems like she has awakened...Geez...Don’t scare us like that.

Yui: Who was that man earlier...?

Laito: The man from earlier? Who are you talking about?

Reiji: I wonder if she is confused by the shock of the accident. Good grief...Don’t cause us trouble.

Yui: Accident...? Ah, right...What happened...? I...

Shuu: Geez...You’ve been unconscious.

Yui: Eh...!?

Reiji: While it is a relief to see you are unharmed...We were just walking about where the culprit has run off to.

They sure have guts, pulling a hit-and-run on us like that.

Ayato: Do you think a human is behind it?

Reiji: Our car is being driven by a familiar, you know? I doubt this is the work of a human.

Laito: Hmー Then it would have to be someone from the Demon World...Or a blood relative of one of the creatures of the dark, I suppose?

Kanato: That seems very plausible, don’t you think?

Subaru: Well, our family has plenty of enemies after all. I wouldn’t call this unusual.

Shuu: Ahー ...This sucks. Honestly, I don’t give a damn...Haah...

Reiji: Either way, let us step away for now. We can leave the clean up to the familiars.

Yui: I-Is it okay for us...to just leave like that?

Reiji: If we stay behind, it will only cause more trouble, I’d assume. Or would you perhaps like to stay here by yourself?

Yui: N-No...

( ...I wonder what happened? Is everything really okay...? )

( Who could be targeting them? Besides...Who is that person...Who appeared in my dream earlier...? )

( Am I just...overthinking things? )

ー The scene shifts to a back alley

???: ...Seems like it was a success.

???: Fufu...Those guys...They realized Vampires were behind it. Is that okay?

???: Keh...! Who cares...Our cover will be blown soon enough. Nothin’ to worry ‘bout.

???: ...So that girl is...Eve.

???: Hmph. She looked as if she had completely submitted to those guys...Yet she is supposed to be Eve? ...Don’t make me laugh.

???: You think so? I don’t dislike girls like her. ...They’re worth playing around with, you know?

???: If you wish to turn her into your toy, then go for another girl. That man seems to have taken a liking to her after all. Let’s go.

???: Rogerー ...Haah...

???: She kind of...has the same scent...

*TIMESKIP*

ー Yui has arrived at school by now

Ayato: ーー But you know, it’s been a while since we’ve gotten directly targeted like that, right?

Laito: Good point. Honestly...Ever since that guy made a name for himself in this world (7), we haven’t been caught by surprise. Nfu~ 

Yui: Did those kind of happenings...occur often before?

Kanato: ...They did, every now and then. We’ve been targeted plenty of times.

Yui: How come...?

Laito: Nfu~ ...Because this world is full of fools, I assume? They never stop trying to try and steal that man’s throne. They should just give it a break.

Yui: ( ‘That man’ is their father, right...? The politician, Sakamaki Tougo... )

( To think that someone whose name was not foreign to me would turn out to be a Vampire... )

( I haven’t noticed, but there might actually be quite a few people who are not human in this world... )

???: Ah! There you are!!

Ayato: Haah? The fuck are you...?

???: Eh? Me? I’m Reinhart. The school doctor.

Laito: Hmー? The school doctor...That’s odd. I’m pretty sure we had a female school doctor up until now...

Reinhart: Ah, she is currently on maternity leave, so I will be taking her place from today onwards.

Laito: ...Hmmー ...I see...

Yui: U-Uhm...Sensei. Is something the matter?

Reinhart: Ah, right. I’d actually like to have a talk with you.

Ayato: ...Oi, you bastard...I don’t get what you’re suddenly here for!? The fuck are you planning?

Reinhart: Aah, my bad. When I spotted you bunch earlier, I realized she looked a little pale...

Yui: Eh, me? I don’t really...feel bad or anything...

Laito: Why not? Let’s go to the infirmary. That’s much better than continuing to listen to those boring lectures in class.

Ayato: Laito, you jerk...I won’t let you hog all the fun for yourself.

Laito: Don’t accuse me of such things. I’m not doing any of that. Nfu~ They call this ‘skipping’. 

I consider this a humble gift by Bitch-chan, which I shall gladly accept. Why don’t you two do the same?

Kanato: Laito does have a point. ...Let us go. Sensei, do there happen to be any sweets over at the infirmary?

Reinhart: ...Seems like you have a bunch of weird ‘knights in shining armor’ surroudning you, huh?

Yui: R-Right...

( ...They’re all Vampires though, so ‘knights’ doesn’t exactly fit them... )

ー They all head towards the infirmary

Yui: That being said, I’m surprised you were able to judge my condition from so far away, sensei.

Reinhart: Hmー ...Your aura seemed a little...

Yui: Aura!?

Reinhart: Hahaha. I just end up spotting those. Ah, but it might just have been a mistake on my part.

Yui: ( Auras...Can you really tell someone’s condition by that...? )

Laito: Hey hey, sensei~ What color is this girl’s aura? My guess would be a vibrant pink.

Reinhart: Hahaha. It’s kind of difficult to attach a color to it...However, if I had to pick...Mouse grey (8)...?

Yui: Mouse grey...!? 

Kanato: Mice? Fufu...That fits you perfectly. You look exactly like a common rat after all...

Reinhart: It’s a vague color which hasn’t quite become black, yet cannot be called white either. The aura of someone who has a lot of doubts in their heart.

Ayato: Heeh, Chichinashi. Do you have any worries other than the fact that you’re flat as a board?

Yui: T-That’s horrible...! O-Of course...Even I have...plenty on my mind...

Reinhart: ...

Yui: Sensei?

Reinhart: How are you feeling? Are you really okay?

Yui: Ah, yes...Thanks to you...

( If anything, I’m in better shape than usual! It’s like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders... )

Reinhart: ーー I see.

Yui: ...?

Ayato: Geez, humans really are so weak and useless. Oi, teach, at least offer us something to drink.

Reinhart: Oh dear...Classes will resume soon. Let’s postpone our tea time to some other occassion. 

Ayato: Aah!? What did you just say?

Laito: I’d love to stay in this bed a little longer though. Come on, Bitch-chan, you should join me as well. It’ll be fun~?

Yui: I-I’m going to class!

Kanato: ...I’m not going. Right, Teddy?

Reinhart: Come on, don’t say that. Here, I’ll give you a candy.

Kanato: ...Heh. I see you are trying to bribe me with your puny candies. However, I’ll be so kind to accept it.

Yui: Sensei, thank you very much!

Reinhart: No need to thank me. If you’re in trouble, feel free to drop by any time.

Yui: Yes!

( He’s such a nice person, looking out for the students who seem to be in bad shape... )

( Lately I’ve been surrounded by nothing but those kind of people, it must have affected me... )

ー They leave the infirmary

Reinhart: ...

ー The scene changes back to the hallway

Laito: ...Don’t you think that sensei was a little suspicious?

Yui: Eh?

Ayato: You do have a point. ...How do I put it...He smelled really fishy.

Yui: Y-You think so? I think he’s normal though...Aren’t you just being paranoid because of what happened earlier...?

Kanato: ...That’s not it!!

Yui: ...!?

Kanato: That guy...is definitely fond of you...

Yui: Eh!?

Laito: Nfu~ Did you think so too, Kanato-kun? Exactly. So suspicious~

Yui: That’s not true...!

He’s the school doctor after all, I’m sure he’s just looking after the physical health of the students, for sure.

Ayato: Aren’t you being a little too cheeky for a Chichinashi, aah?

Yui: ...

( I don’t like where this is going...I feel as if things would go south if somebody were to spot us now... )

W-We’ll be late for class, you know!? Let’s go!

ー Yui runs away

Ayato: Ah! Oi!! Wait!

Yui: ( If I get too deeply involved in them, no amount of blood will do! )

*TIMESKIP*

*Ding dong - Ding dong*

Yui: Uuー ... Somehow today...I’m even more exhausted than usual, I feel...

Female student A: Ah, Komori-san. Sorry, but could I ask you for a favor?

Yui: What’s wrong?

Female student A: I have to hurry home you see. Can you take over my cleaning duty? (9)

Yui: Yeah, I don’t mind.

Female student A: Really!? You’re my savior! Thank you!

ー The female students runs off

Yui: ( Well then...The limousine got destroyed today, so I doubt it’ll come and pick us up...I’ll head home after everything is spick and span...! )

*TIMESKIP*

Yui: Phew...This should do.

( Come to think of it...Where did Ayato-kun and the others run off to? )

( Usually they’d wait here in this classroom for our ride to come pick us up... )

 Oh well, I’m sure they’ll return eventually? I’ll go take out the trash.

*TIMESKIP*

ー Yui has moved to the back garden

Yui: And now I’m done...

???: Is it okay for a livestock such as yourself to leave its master side and wander around by themselves?

Yui: Eh?

( Who’s this? I’ve never seen him...An upperclansman, perhaps? )

???: Fuck off with your stupid ‘Eh?’...! My ass!!

*THUD*

Yui: Eh!? What are you doing...!?

???: We were finally...able to talk to you...Eve...

Yui: ...Eve!?

( Actually...The person I met in that dream also called me ‘Eve’, did he not...? )

???: Hey, hey~ No need to be so frightened. ♪ You should become friends with us as well, M-neko-chan ♪

Yui: ( Maso kitty...!? )

...Be friends but...When a stranger suddenly calls me by such a name, I can’t possibly... 

Besides, my name isn’t Even. You’ve got the wrong person.

ー She tries to step away but gets stopped by Yuma

???: Hold it.

*Thud*

Yui: Kyah...!! L-Let me go!

*Rustle*

???: Che...Behave already...Fuck...You stupid sow...!

Yui: !?

( S...Sow!? )

ー Ruki joins in and inspects her face

???: Hmph.

Yui: ...!?

( What’s wrong with these person...He suddenly grabbed hold of my chin... )

???: Oi, Yuma...Make sure to restrain her. I feel as if this livestock would not hesitate to bare her teeth even at her master.

???: Rogerー

???: ...

Yui: ...! P-Please back off...Don’t bring your face...so close...

???: Not only are you a dimwit, but you are strong-willed as well. I fear for the future.

Yui: The future...What the heck is you guys’ problem!?

Ruki: Hmph. I have yet to name myself, right? I am Ruki...Mukami Ruki.

And the guy who is keeping you in check your right now is...

Yuma: The name’s Yuma.

Kou: I’m Kou! Nice to meet you!

Azusa: Azusa...Haah...My heart is still racing...

Yui: ...Uhm, so, did you need something from me...?

Kou: Fufu. We just transferred to this school today, you see~

Yui: Transfer students...? But, what does that have to do with it?

Ruki: ...Don’t you think you are being a little condescending? ...That is not the right way to talk to your seniors.

Yui: ...!?

Ruki: Don’t turn your head away. If you are that feisty, you should look me right in the eyes.

Yui: ...

Shuu: ...What are you guys doing?

Yui: ...Shuu-san...!?

Shuu: Haah...I ended up running straight into trouble...

However, if I leave things as is, I guess it’ll only get more troublesome...Could you let go of her?

Ruki: Hmph. ...The eldest son of the Sakamaki’s, huh? ...Oi, Yuma.

Yuma: Che. Fine. I just need to let ‘er go, right? ...Scram!

*Rustle*

Yui: ...!?

Shuu: ...

( ...That guy...? No...I must be imagining things. )

Yui: Shuu-san...!

Shuu: Just when I was wondering where you had wandered off to...Honestly...Could you not create more trouble?

Yui: S-Sorry...

ー Reiji walks up to them

Reiji: What is this ruckus about? ...Hm? You lot...

Ruki: You guys, let’s go.

Azusa: Eve...See you later...Let’s hang out again, okay...?

Kou: Bye bye~ ♪

Yuma: Che...Honestly...This pisses me off...Geez...

ー The Mukami brothers walk away

Subaru: ...Oi, the fuck was that?

Yui: ...! Subaru-kun!

Honestly, I don’t really know myself...They suddenly started talking to me...I felt as if they were mistaking me for someone else though...

Reiji: ...

Subaru: Che...

ー Laito and Ayato arrive as well

Laito: What’s this? This awkward mood...Did something happen?

Ayato: We passed by some new faces earlier, don’t tell me you...

Yui: I’m okay, Shuu-san arrived just in time...

Shuu: I haven’t really done anything.

Ayato: Next time I see them, I’ll crush them. Those creeps...

Kanato: ...Their...scent...

Subaru: It stinks...

Reiji: Hm. I see...

Yui: Reiji-san?

Reiji: ...We’re all gathered here now, so let us head back. The car is waiting for us.

Yui: Did the limousine get fixed?

Reiji: No, I arranged a different one.

Laito: Nfu~ This time for sure...I’m sitting next to Bitch-chan!

Reiji: Whatever floats your boat. Hurry up and get inside.

Yui: Ah! But my stuff...!

Reiji: A familiar will fetch it for you. Come on, hurry!

Yui: Okay...

( I wonder who those people from earlier were... )

( Do I have a doppelganger who goes by the name Eve or something...? )

( However, they seemed to talk so confidently for that to be the case... )

( ...I wonder if this is somehow related...to that person from my dream? )

*TIMESKIP*

ー They are inside the limousine

Subaru: ーー The happening when we were heading to school...

Shuu: Aah?

Subaru: Don’t you think those guys could be behind it?

Yui: Eh...?

Kanato: Probably...It is...rather fishy...

Ayato: Yeah. It reeks.

Yui: Scent? I didn’t notice that at all though...

Laito: Bitch-chan~ If you don’t stop playing dumb, I’ll punish you, okay? Not that kind of smelly. (10)

Seems like...those guys aren’t pureblood Vampires.

Yui: ...!? Those guys are Vampires!?

Reiji: You are the only person stupid enough not to realize...Good grief...After I warned you so many times.

Shuu: ...Those guys...Are they gonna attend that school from now on...?

Yui: They did tell me they were transfer students...

Shuu: On top of that, seems like they’ve already got their eye on you.

Laito: Nfu~ Shuu, you actually don’t seem relaxed for once. Are you...jealous, perhaps? Nfu...

Shuu: Shut up...I’m in a bad mood right now. My music got ruined because you guys won’t keep your damn mouths shut.

...The fact you even think of bringing up the concept of jealousy says more about you than about me...You fake pervert.

Laito: ...Do you have a death wish~?

Shuu: Hmph...Go ahead?

Yui: ( ...Everyone seems to be on the edge. I’d say I’m used to it by this point, but I guess they aren’t amused by the fact they’re being targeted. )

( I hope nothing happens... )

( Those guys might have approached me as a way to get in touch with the Sakamaki’s. )

( I don’t really understand why they called me Eve though... )

( Haah...Honestly, today really was exhausting...After taking a shower, I’ll hit the hay early today... )

*TIMESKIP*

ー Yui finds herself in an unknown room

Yui: (Eh...? )

( Where...am I? )

???: Hello there...And so we meet again.

Yui: You are...

???: I’ve casted a nifty little spell on you.

If this does not succeed, rewinding time will have been for nothing.

Yui: ...?

???: ーー Daughter of the Demon Lord, I’ve come for you.

*Thump*

Yui: ...My heart...

???: If you are there, the apple might rot again...? Well then...Come here.

*Thump*

Yui: ...!?

( His fangs are...against my neck... )

W-What are you...

???: Don’t be scared. ...Come on, close your eyes...

I have a very good reason for doing this. ...Well then, keep still. ...Nn...

*Thump* 

???: Nn...

*Thump*

Yui: ( He’s...drinking my blood...? )

Sto...p...

???: ...Phew...

*Thump*

Yui: ...

( All strength is...leaving my body...What is happening? It kind of feels like...I’ll die at this rate... )

???: This should do...

Yui: ...!?

???: Fufu, seems like it worked wonderfully.

*Thump*

Yui: What did you...?

???: Fufu. Eve really is a curious girl. You should fear what lies ahead at least a little.

Well then, Eve. Now you are ready. Everyone is waiting for you.

Yui: What was that just now...?

???: Fufu...You will eventually reach the answer. ...No need to rush.

Yui: H-Hold on...Please wait! Who are you...!?

ー Yui wakes up in her room

Yui: ...!?

???: ...!

Yui: Who are you...?

???: What did you do...?

Yui: ...Are you Richter-san...?

( If I recall correctly, he’s everyone’s uncle... )

Richter: Answer me truthfully! What did you do to my dearest? 

Yui: Eh...!?

Richter: Answer me right now. If not, I will rip out your heart from your body!

Yui: What are you...talking about...?

Richter: Ever since last night, her...Cordelia’s presence disappeared.

Yui: ...!?

Richter: Didn’t you pull some cheap trick!? Answer me!

ー He grabs hold of her throat

Yui: ...Stop...It hurts...!

ー Richter tightens his grip

Richter: ...!?

Don’t tell me...No way...

Yui: ...Cough...Cough cough...

ー Ayato bursts into the room

Ayato: Oi, Chichinashi. What was that just no...Huh!? Aaah!? Richter...The fuck are you doing?

Yui: A-Ayato-kun!

Richter: Ayato...Have you...realized?

Ayato: Haah? What are you talking ‘bout, for real? Are you half asleep?

Richter: No way...Brother...Kuh...I see...Not only did he know about all of this...

ー He walks away

Ayato: Oi, Richter! Where are you going!?

Richter: ...

Ayato: What’s his problem...? Oi, Chichinashi...

Yui: ...

Ayato: Chi-chi-na-shi!! Are you listening, hey!?

Yui: Ah...Yeah, I’m listening...Thank you, Ayato-kun.

Ayato: Aahー ...Fuck. ...I was finally dozing off but this totally threw me off...Pwaaah...Sleepy...

Oi, make sure to lock up properly before going to bed. If you wake me up again, give me your blood.

Yui: Yeah, goodnight.

ー Ayato leaves the room

Yui: ( What was that about just now...? )

( And once again, I saw that strange dream... )

My neck...There are bite marks after all...Are these from that dream earlier?

( Richter-san seemed very surprised to see these...Furthermore, he seemed to be grieving very strongly about something... )

ー The scene shifts to Yui’s bedroom

Yui: Ever since yesterday, it’s been one strange happening after the other...What is going on...?

Selection

→ Get some rest (S Prologue)

→ Get up (M Prologue)

Yui: ( However, I haven’t slept enough yet and we have school tomorrow...I should get a little more rest. )

( I might calm down a little after getting some shut-eye... )

*TIMESKIP*

ー Yui wakes up

Yui: Hm....Huh...?

*Rustle*

Yui: Evening...? I see...I fell right asleep afterwards...

( I was afraid I might not be able to sleep from being shaken up by everything, but I actually slept soundly... )

*Knock knock*

Reiji: ーー Good morning. Are you awake?

Yui: Ah, yes! I’m awake!

Reiji: I see. In that case, there is something I would like to talk about before we head to school. Please quickly get changed and head over to the living room.

Yui: Okay.

( A talk? I wonder what it could be...? About yesterday, perhaps...? )

*TIMESKIP*

ー Yui arrives in the living room

Yui: Sorry for the wait.

Reiji: Good grief...Don’t you think you take a little too much time getting ready?

You are the last one. Come on, take a seat.

Yui: ( It’s earlier than usual but everyone has gathered here...Is this talk that serious? )

Shuu: ...No energy...Sleepy...Pwaah...

Ayato: ‘Cause of Chichinashi...I didn’t get enough sleep...Honestly...What did Richter come here for...?

Laito: Thank god I was sound asleep...If I had to watch uncle’s face on top of being woken up...

Yui: ( Everyone looks totally exhausted... )

Kanato: ...Zzー ... Zzー ...

Yui: ( Kanato-kun’s holding onto Teddy, he might as well be asleep still... )

Subaru: ...

( Subaru-kun’s standing with his eyes closed...Is he asleep? )

Reiji: I’ve brewed a strong tea perfect to combat exhaustion. Please drink this and wake up.

Subaru, wake up!

Subaru: Hah...

Yui: ( He was actually sleeping... )

Reiji: The reason why I’ve had you all gathered here should be obvious. 

You...After our uncle visited you last night, why did you not report to us right away?

Yui: ...! M-My bad.

Ayato: Ah? You’re talking ‘bout Richter, right? I stepped in so who cares?

By the way, if that’s the reason why you dragged us out of bed so early, I’m not letting that slide, got it?

Reiji: Hmph. That’s not the only thing. Although it might be related to it as well.

Yui: Eh?

*Cling*

Reiji: Uncle is not the one I want to talk about. It’s about yesterday’s accident and those people.

Laito: Ahー ...That, huh? ...Those non-pureblood fellows...Is something the matter with them?

Reiji: I assume that yesterday’s accident was most likely set up by them.

Shuu: Well...I assume that’s most likely the case.

Kanato: ...It would be impossible for anyone who doesn’t have powers at least similar to ours after all...

...So, you gathered us here to talk about those guys...?

Reiji: That is not all.

Yui: ...?

Reiji: I would like to ask everyone’s opinion on their goal, no...their ‘target’.

Subaru: Ah? Target...? Isn’t it that? ...Haven’t they come to murder us in cold blood?

Ayato: Yeah...Exactly. It’s ‘cause that shitty old man keeps on messing around...

...Geez...

Yui: ...I’ve wondered about this for a while but...What kind of person is your Father...?

Reiji: I feel like we’re drifting away from the topic at hand here, but I shall teach you just in case.

Our father is someone who has held the title of head of the Vampires for over 2000 years...

Yui: T-Two thousand years...!?

Laito: His speech is totally old-fashioned too. His words just reek of mold.

Shuu: Well...It’s true that he’s a pain in the ass...

Kanato: On top of that, our Father is a shape-shifter. He can turn into anything, whether a man or a woman...

Ayato: He’ll show up with a different appearance every now and then. Honestly, not even we know what he really looks like.

Reiji: He is a man shrouded in mystery.

Yui: ( He’s...even more impressive than I thought... )

( I kind of get why everyone is so scared of him now... )

Laito: Well, the fact us siblings are here today is probably because he got bored after being alive for so long...I suppose?

Yui: What do you mean...?

Laito: Our mothers. He courted all three of them and had them bear his children.

Yui: ( I see...Shuu-san and Reiji-san, the triplets and Subaru-kun, they all have different mothers after all. )

Ayato: In the end, the only one who really caught his attention was Christa, right?

Subaru: ...

Shuu: Oi...Shut up. ...It’d be a pain if Subaru were to wreck the house again...

Reiji: You lot, we’re returning to the previous topic. About those guys’ target.

Kanato: ...Their ‘target’...? To destroy our household, for example...?

Reiji: I spent the entire night thinking...And I think their true motive may lay somewhere else...

Ayato: Aah? What do you mean?

Laito: Nfu~ ...It’s Bitch-chan, isn’t it?

Yui: Eh!? 

Reiji: Haah...Laito, when it comes to women, you suddenly become very sharp, don’t you?

Laito: Can I take that as a compliment?

Reiji: I am disappointed. ...Well, you are right though.

Yui: I-It’s me...!?

Reiji: Yes. You were directly cornered by them yesterday, were you not?

Yui: Cornered is a little...

( They called me ‘Eve’ or something...But I was confused and didn’t really get what they were talking about... )

Wasn’t that to create an opportunity to get in touch with you all, because I am involved with this household?

Reiji: I considered that as well. However...

If they were targeting us, they could have easily done so much sooner.

Subaru: You do have a point...This never happened before you came here.

Shuu: Well...That’s true. I think a few years have passed already since we started living here.

Yui: ...But, why me...?

Kanato: I see...They’ve come to target you...Of course they would. Your blood is delicious after all...

Yui: Blood...?

Ayato: Well, your looks are not worth mentioning, nor do you have any tits. ...But well, your blood really is top quality.

Reiji: Well, I am fairly certain that is what they are about...

Yui: No way...

Subaru: ...So, what are we gonna do?

Reiji: What do you want to do? Drive away these pests?

Yui: ( Pests he says... )

Subaru: Without her, we won’t have any blood.

Blood tastes disgusting if you don’t suck it directly from the source...You should stay here.

Laito: Nfu...Agreed~

Well, whatever other guys may do to you, I’d still be able to enjoy it though.

...But in the end, I can’t let them have your fresh blood.

Ayato: If you’d like to leave, I won’t really stop you.

Yui: Ayato-kun...

Ayato: However...Your blood belongs to me, isn’t that right?

Kanato: Who decided that? It is mine as well so don’t just decide that on your own.

Ayato: Keh...Chichinashi, if you’re leaving, make sure to come supply us every day, ‘kay? I’m happy as long as I can suck your blood.

Kanato: Agreed...However, I don’t like those guys...

I can’t allow them to have their way with you...Even though you belong to me.

*Shatter*

Ayato: Well, it doesn’t feel good for sure.

Reiji: I understand how you feel, Kanato. However, please don’t break the cups. Good grief...

Laito: What about you, Reiji? If some other guy were to have their way with her, that is?

Reiji: Even if you ask me that, it should be obvious that I shall not simply watch from afar if my possession were to be stolen from me.

Laito: Oh? This is new. What about you, Shuu?

Shuu: Aahー Well...I agree with you guys for the most part...

...Having those guys do as they please pisses me off...

Ayato: Chichinashi, you agree as well, right?

Yui: Eh? If you suddenly ask me that...

Ayato: In that case, we just have to beat them to pulp, right?

Yui: ( He’s not even listening... )

Reiji: Wait a minute. Is that the only solution you can come up with? (11)

Ayato: Aah!? Then what are we gonna do?

Reiji: For starters, what do you hope to accomplishing by playing right into their hands?

Kanato: Their hands? 

Reiji: Most likely, they approached her yesterday to agitate us.

If we pick a fight with them, I’m sure they would happily come and take her away.

Subaru: ...What are we gonna do?

Reiji: We have no other choice but to watch over her. For now, at least.

Subaru: Haah!? Watch over her? Lame! The fuck you talking about...

Ayato: Shit! You’re making us go through this trouble...Even though you’re nothin’ but a Chichinashi...

Laito: In that case, I’ll keep a close eye on you 24/7~ That way I’ll be able to take proper care of you, right?

Kanato: She does not belong to you, Laito! Don’t just decide that on your own!

Shuu: Ahー I have a suggestion. One of us will monitor her...Then if she’s caught, that guy takes the blame.

Reiji: I don’t like how that good-for-nothing suggested it, but I do believe that is the most logical solution.

Shuu: Oi, you.

Yui: Yes...!?

Shuu: Pick one of us. Hurry up.

Yui: Eeeh...!? Me?

Shuu: ...Do you want all of us to flock around you?

Yui: I’ll...pass up on that...

Reiji: Then hurry up and make your decision. The chosen person will take responsiblity and watch her from today onwards. Understood?

Ayato: Haah...Guess it can’t be helped. Come on, Chichinashi. Take your pick.

Laito: Hey, Bitch-chan~ Pick me! I’ll watch you from head to toe, okay?

Kanato: ...I’m looking forward to seeing who you will choose...Right, Teddy?

Subaru: ...Hurry up already.

Yui: ( I’m glad they’re willing to watch over me so nothing happens but... )

( Being asked to pick one puts me on the spot... )

( What should I do...? )

[ Choose Shuu ] [ Choose Reiji ] [ Choose Ayato ]

[ Choose Kanato ] [ Choose Laito ] [ Choose Subaru ]

ーー TO BE CONTINUED ーー

Translation notes

(1) The verse 豚となりて楽しまんより、人となりて悲しまん or ‘buta to narite tanoshiman yori, hito to narite kanashiman’ is an old verse which originates from the Greek philosopher Socrates. It literally means ‘Rather than having fun as a pig, I would rather suffer as a human’ In these times, it was assumed that animals are incapable of experience pain and agony and therefore led peaceful, happy lives without any worries.

(2) He says 堕落という名の椅子に深く腰をかけている or ‘daraku to iu na no isu ni fukaku koshi o kaketeiru’ which literally means ‘to deeply sit down on the chair that goes by the name of ‘corruption.’

(3) He repeats Yui’s words, adding the particle の or ‘no’ after the sentence to turn it into a ‘noun’ so he can add the negation じゃない or ‘janai’ to it. 

(4) Yui says 自分なりに or ‘jibun nari ni’ which is a common expression to refer to ‘in my own way’ and it is often combined with verbs like ‘trying your best’, ‘thinking about’, etc. In this case, Yui is not a Vampire, so the value of (her) blood is a difficult concept to grasp.

(5) The subject ‘Japanese’ is actually not called 日本語 or ‘nihongo’ as one may suspect. Instead, they call it 国語 or ‘kokugo’, which literally means ‘language of the country/nation’. 

(6) Literally she calls his actions ‘tyranny’ or ‘oppressive’. 

(7) Laito is most likely referring to the fact that their Father, Karlheinz, also is active as a politician going by the name ‘Sakamaki Tougo’ in the human world.

(8) In Japanese, no distinction is made between ‘mouse’ and ‘rat’ since both are referred to as ネズミ or ‘nezumi’. However, I went with mouse in this case because it is a little less insulting. xD

(9) At Japanese high schools, it is common to have a 掃除当番 or ‘souji touban’, which involves the students having to clean the classrooms and sometimes even hallways after class.

(10) Just like the expression ‘smells fishy’ in English, in Japanese, the verb 匂う or ‘niou’ can be used in two different ways. Either to refer to something that actually smells (strongly), or to imply that something is suspicious about someone or something.

(11) Reiji uses the proverb 馬鹿は一つ覚えか? or ‘baka wa hitotsu oboe ka?’ which literally means ‘can a fool only remember one thing?’. It means that someone always resorts to the same method to deal with a situation.

#diabolik lovers #dialovers #more blood #shuu sakamaki #reiji sakamaki #ayato sakamaki #kanato sakamaki #laito sakamaki #subaru sakamaki #diabolik lovers translation #mbsakamakiprolog

[mogdaze-blog]

Midnight Rendezvous - Short Story for Halloween

It’s hard to make a good living as an actor. Unless you’re an A-lister, chances are you’ve probably got a second job on the side to make ends meet while you try to live out your dreams. That used to be me, too: a plucky little kid eager to take on any role he could get. I was more than willing to bust my ass in the meantime if it meant getting to do what I love, knowing that all the long hours and back-breaking work would be worth it in the end. When I got my big break.

Life has done a great job of beating that enthusiasm out of me since then.

Now, I’m a graphic designer. The work is interesting, don’t get me wrong, and it puts bread on the table, but it was never my real passion. Ever since I was a little kid, all I ever wanted to do was play pretend, and it’d been my greatest goal since then to do it professionally - even though I hadn’t scored a real acting job since the Nineties.

That’s why, when in mid-October I was contacted by my old agent, Sean Harrell, for the first time in a decade, I didn’t hesitate to pick up the phone.

“Travis! You son of a bitch, you!” He said in the cheerful, endearing way only a talent agent could get away with calling someone a son of a bitch, “shit, what’s it been, eight years? God, it’s crazy how time flies.”

“What do you want, Sean? I didn’t even know I still had you on retainer.”

“Once your agent, always your agent, baby,” he said with a laugh, “if you’re wondering why I’m so chipper, it’s because I just got handed a big, juicy opportunity for you, my man.”

The last alleged “big, juicy opportunity” Sean had gotten me was a commercial for breath spray running on a few major networks back in the day. I couldn’t get a date for a few weeks afterwards, thanks to my newfound reputation as “Man With Halitosis Number 3.” Sean was one gift horse who was occasionally filled with bloodthirsty Trojan soldiers, so I’d learned to look at his offers with a healthy sense of scepticism.

“What’s this big opportunity?”

“You’ve been offered a guest spot on a major talk show,” he said, giddy as a kid on Christmas morning, “I’ve been speaking to the reps all morning, they’re practically begging to have you on.”

I scoffed and shook my head, though I knew Sean couldn’t see it. Even when I was acting, it was cult stuff - B-movies and little indie films where the work was varied but the pay was crap; none of them ever broke out of the indie circuit and made it big. In short, it was all nothing that Conan O'Brien or Jimmy Fallon would give two shits about.

“What talk show is this?” I asked.

“Midnight Rendezvous, with Julie Forrester. It goes out live to a few million people every week.”

“Never heard of it.”

“That’s funny,” he said, “because the reps told me that if I mentioned the name, you’d know it immediately.”

“Well,” I said, feeling irritated, “I guess they’ve got the wrong guy. Why would they want me, anyway? I don’t even act anymore, it’s not like I’ve got anything to promote.”

“Apparently,” Sean said, speaking uncharacteristically slowly, as though trying to choose his words extra carefully, “don’t get mad, but they want to talk about The Red Weekend.”

“Shit.”

“Yeah, I kinda figured you’d say that. They’re recording on the 31st.”

“Halloween? Oh, for fuck’s sakes, Sean. Could it get any tackier? Look, if they call again, tell them I don’t wanna talk about that stupid movie, and if that doesn’t get them to shut up, tell them they can take their offer, and shove it up their–”

“The pay, Travis. Let me tell you about the pay before you get all…heated.”

“What are they offering?” I grumbled.

“Fifteen thousand, for just a couple of hours on set. Still feeling crabby, Trav?”

Yes, I was, but I didn’t feel I could show it. Fifteen thousand for a few hours sitting on a couch in a studio, being asked questions about some stupid B-movie I starred in when I was in my twenties, seemed like a deal only a proud idiot would turn down. I may have been proud, perhaps unreasonably so, but I was no idiot.

“You sure these guys are legit?” I asked, not wanting to say yes right after hearing the number, “they’re not just gonna lure me out to some vacant lot, beat me over the head, and harvest my organs?”

Sean groaned into the phone. It was like we’d never stopped speaking. Truth be told, I’d missed the slimy bastard. At least he gave it all to you straight. When you spoke to Sean Harrell, you knew what you were in for.

“Look, Travis, there’s no way to ever really be sure they’re not organ traffickers - hell, I’m sure Kimmel fenced a kidney or two when he was starting out - but I can give you at least a strong 80% certainty that these guys are the real deal,” he said, “I spoke to the host for a little while, uh, Julie! She seems nice, you know, a personality. I’m sure you two will get along just fine.”

“You said the exact same thing about that Fairweather woman, but that fell through, too. How do I know this is gonna be any different to that?”

“Oh, come on, Trav, that’s not fair. You know the Fairweather thing couldn’t be helped. Besides, it was ten years ago. This? This is now, and now I’ve got this offer on the table for you and you only. Do you think I would have called if I thought this was just gonna be bullshit? Hell no. So, what’ll it be, buddy, you in or you out?”

I gave a reluctant sigh, before finally saying, “fuck it, why not. Sign me up.”

“Great! I’m so glad you said that, Travis, because truth be told I’d already said yes on your behalf.”

“Jesus Christ, Sean.”

“What? It’s my job to make decisions in the best interests of your career, even if you don’t. I’ll keep in touch and feed you the details in the next couple days. It’s shaping up to be a real happy Halloween, Mr. Norton.”

“Don’t push it. Speak to you later, Sean.”

“Later.”

He hung up after that, and I was left with nothing but silence and my thoughts.

The Red Weekend. It’d been a while since I’d heard that name, and that was no accident. It wasn’t an exaggeration to say that it was the movie that destroyed my credibility, and my acting career, so just thinking about it made my blood boil. Plot-wise, it was nothing special. Just a derivative 1985 monster movie cashing in on the slasher formula that was so popular at the time, with a few stolen shades of “Creature from The Black Lagoon.” A bunch of hapless teenagers decided to spend a weekend in a cabin on the edge of a lake, only to have their fun spoiled by a creature rising up and slaughtering all of them except one - who then goes on to turn the tables and slay the monster, avenging the fallen. Simple, cheap, and cheesy.

I played the creature from the lake, affectionately dubbed by the cast, crew, and all five-or-so fans of the movie as “The Bog Man.” If I took the role today (which, by the way, I wouldn’t) I’d have gone uncredited and collected my pay check, before moving on with my life. But I was star-struck, by the one person on the production team with what you might call genuine prestige.

Richard Upton Pavlović, the most iconic special effects artist you’ve never heard of. All the greats - Savini, Baker, Rambaldi, and a laundry list of others - all studied under Pavlović at one time or another, since he immigrated from Croatia in the forties. But he was a famously private man: nobody outside the business had ever heard of him; he was one of B-cinema’s best kept secrets. While the number of special effects artists who’d studied under him was vast, he only chose to work on a handful of different films personally: one of which, for reasons I doubt I’ll ever understand, was The Red Weekend.

The reason I took the role, and the reason I chose to be credited, was that in playing The Bog Man I’d be working one-on-one with Pavlović in the makeup room. It was my only chance to really interact with a living legend, before his death from a sudden heart attack back in 2007. Pavlović was a man with extraordinary vision. His one condition for working on a project was full creative control over creature designs, because he needed to be unstifled to truly work his magic. And it was magic: he could string together blood and gore with the best of them, sure, but when it came to monster design, Pavlović was the master.

When I met him in person for the first time, in a makeup trailer during a bitterly cold day in September, I was surprised by how small he was. Pavlović was a squat, wiry man with a silver horseshoe of hair and thick half-moon spectacles, looking like a cartoon shrew from a mid-30s Disney short. His design for The Bog Man was assembled in a thick stack of papers he carried in the crook of his arm, and started pinning around the makeup chair I was sitting on.

“Have you been under heavy prosthetics before?” He asked, with a soft, frail voice that still carried the echoes of a Croatian accent.

“No,” I said, “but I’m open to new experiences.”

Pavlović gave a quiet, good-hearted chuckle at my naïveté and continued pinning up his pictures. They were all hand-drawn pencil illustrations, some of parts of the creature, others of the entire thing. It was a huge amphibian, a little bigger than a human, with features somewhere between an axolotl and a triceratops, with the addition of a long, whipping tail. It was a hunched, slimy, pot-bellied creature with green skin and long arms ending in six thick claws. There was a strangely childlike nature to its head: wide and flat, largely smooth and featureless, with beady black eyes and three horns sprouting from either side of its head. In the illustrations with its mouth closed, it seemed more like a frog, with its lipless gob stretching from one set of horns to the other. When the mouth was open, it reminded me more of a shark, with multiple rows of switchblade fangs.

“What is this thing? I’ve never seen anything quite like it.”

“It is Rugoba,” Pavlović replied, gravely, “haunter of shadows, devourer of man.”

“Did you draw all these yourself?” I asked, “the detail is incredible.”

“Some I drew, yes,” he said, unpacking his equipment now, “others I inherited, from family members back in the old country. Creatures in the movies these days, they’re too tacky, too homogenised. I like to draw inspiration from older sources. It looks better, don’t you agree?”

I nodded in agreement, not knowing what else to do.

What followed was nothing short of gruelling. Seven hours in the makeup chair every morning and every night, and layer after layer of paint, putty, latex, slime, and false skin was packed onto me, until I felt like I’d been shrink-wrapped. Pavlović was a perfectionist, and I can’t imagine anyone ever felt that better than me. The head was a mixture of latex and animatronics that I wore like a helmet, with extremely limited visibility. My hands and feet were bound and fitted with claws, and a multi-jointed wire wrapped in latex became my whipping tail, that moved of its own accord.

For all the layers they’d packed onto me, it didn’t do anything to insulate. During the shoot - a lot of which I spent emerging from water and chasing down drunk, horny morons - it was a miracle I never came down with hypothermia. Day after day after day in Pavlović’s makeup chamber of horrors, all for a film I knew nobody was going to see. It was only when I got the chance to see the first proper cut of the film that I started to truly understand all the mythos behind Pavlović’s supposed mad genius: when I watched the film, waiting to see myself in a hokey monster costume, prancing through the woods, I never got what I wanted. When I was on screen, there was no recognising me, because I was not there. It was only the Rugoba, as if it’d been ripped straight from Pavlović’s nightmares and spat onto the screen, hunting its prey.

I remembered performing all the actions I’d see on screen, but I couldn’t - no matter how hard I tried - see myself doing it. Pavlović had turned me into his monster, and he’d done it flawlessly. The movie, as anticipated, was hot garbage, with plotting and characters as thin as wet toilet paper, unbearable dialogue, and thoroughly incompetent cinematography. But the Rugoba? That, I think I can say without a doubt, was the greatest, most realistic monster to ever grace the silver screen.

However, there was another element of the Pavlović legend which made him a little less desirable to work with. Actors, in one regard, are a lot like football players: they’re a superstitious bunch. The little superstition that Richard Pavlović carried around his neck was that he was cursed: any film he chose to work on was doomed to fail, and if you were unlucky, that failure would spread its tendrils out to the cast and crew as well.

Ian Barker, one of my co-stars, once told me in confidence that he felt the whole production just reeked of doom to him, like some invisible axe was hanging over all of our heads, just waiting for the right moment to drop. Thanks to being in full Rugoba makeup for almost my entire time on set, not many of the cast interacted with me - I was the amphibian social leper - but Ian was different. He was at least someone I felt like I could talk to, even if most of what we discussed was Pavlović’s curse.

To me, it was all stupid, baseless hokum, but towards the end of the shoot, I started getting worried. Maybe it was the fear that rattled me, but after The Red Weekend, I never nailed another audition: not for movies, not for TV, not for Broadway. Sean netted me a few commercials after that, but for all intents and purposes, my serious acting career was kaput. Looking back, I probably never had the nerve for stardom anyway, but just thinking about that movie had the power to leave a sour taste in my mouth.

And this Julie Forrester wanted me to talk about it on live TV. Part of me, honestly, was afraid of what I’d say, under pressure, and under the intensity of all those studio lights. My best guess for what they were trying to do was a Halloween retrospective on the life and work of Richard Pavlović, monster movie maestro, and seeing as I was the last actor to officially work with him, my experiences held some weight.

In the end, if I could take home fifteen grand for a talk show appearance a couple decades after my fifteen minutes of mild fame were up, who was I to complain?

Sean got back to me a few days later, saying a chauffeur paid by the studio would be taking me from my bungalow on the edge of L.A. to the studio. It all felt a little much, considering my credentials, but Sean just encouraged me to put my feet up and enjoy it. After all, I didn’t know when I’d get another experience like this, if I ever did. Might as well soak it in while I still could.

It was about eight at night, and trick-or-treaters were already prowling the streets, when a black BMW parked in front of my home and dimmed the lights. It felt less like a talk show valet and more like a mafia hitman, but I walked up to the car nonetheless, and the driver rolled down the window. It was a woman who looked to be in her mid-forties, wearing a classic chauffeur hat and a wide, inviting grin.

“You Travis Norton?” She asked.

I nodded.

“Hop on in, Sir. I’m Mary, I’m gonna drive you down to the studio.”

The car was comfortable, and there was a small bottle of champagne in a little icebox on the seat next to me, with a smiling jack-o-lantern painted onto it. The temptation was there, but I didn’t touch it - probably wasn’t wise to get loaded before a TV interview. Once I was belted up, Mary fired up the ignition and drove.

“Everything okay back there, Mr. Norton?” Mary said.

“Oh yeah,” I replied, “it’s wonderful. I feel bad for making you come out, I could have driven down myself.”

Mary laughed to herself in the front seat.

“Nonsense, Mr. Norton,” she said, “I’m honoured to have you in my car. I never thought that I’d be in the company of the star of The Red Weekend. If it’s not too unprofessional of me to ask, would I be able to have your autograph when we arrive? I’d just like to show my kids.”

“You let your kids watch The Red Weekend?” I asked, remembering its plethora of gory death scenes.

“Are you kidding?” Mary said with another hearty laugh, “it’s their favourite movie. They’re crazy for it.”

For the rest of the journey, I remained largely silent. Mary seemed nice at face value, but the more you spoke to her, the more you realised something was off about her. But it wasn’t just Mary that was a little odd: the car, upon closer, more sustained inspection, was strange too. The back windows were so tinted you could barely see out of them, and before I knew it, I was hopelessly lost. I’d lived in L.A. for most of my adult life, but the neighbourhoods Mary was driving us through felt totally alien to me.

The studio was like an anthill, pulsing with life, and dotted with more rictus pumpkins. Assistants and stagehands shuffled to and fro in steady streams, the pumping lifeblood of the whole big, complicated affair, as Mary pulled us into the parking lot. I got out of the car, gave a small, reluctant autograph in her pocket book - dedicated to her kids, of course - before being ushered away by another little detachment of stagehands. The place seemed to run with almost military efficiency, with everyone around me constantly checking their watches before moving at a quickened pace.

It was this aspect of a life in show-business that I never missed.

“Mr. Norton,” said a shrewd-looking studio rep who’d materialised from a crowd of scurrying assistants - he’d never be on camera, but his suit looked far nicer than mine, “I’m Michael. Splendid to see you accepted our offer. Please, follow me, I’ll see to it that you get to Miss Forrester.”

Ten years out of the media, and here, I was a babe in the woods. I blindly followed Michael further into the bowels of the studio, away from packed crowds of excited guests being corralled into queues. Most had won contests to be here, and the rest had probably paid their way in. They’d be the ones watching me, reminding me that I was being watched, not just by them, but by millions of others who’d all tune in to a show I’d never even heard of. It’d been a strange and eventful Halloween.

Before I knew it, in the haze of yelling directors and baking studio lights, I was backstage. They ushered me into a makeup room, where I was given the most minimal makeup job I’d ever seen, even more so considering my work on The Red Weekend for comparison. I was about half way through deciding whether it was a compliment when the door opened behind me, and a strange, kinetic energy seemed to fill the room, as though someone had just turned on a generator.

“Travis Norton,” said a shrill, excited voice coming from a shape I could only just catch in the corner of my mirror, “you have no idea how long I’ve waited for this. I feel like I need someone to pinch me.”

Julie Forrester, like most television hosts, was a font of untapped energy, constantly bubbling beneath the surface. She was a little shorter than me at about 5"8, decked out in a tasteful grey suit, with a broad smile that seemed to flash the majority of her paper-white, perfectly-aligned teeth. She’d been prepped and polished by countless stylists and makeup artists, because I couldn’t for the life of me tell you how old she was - you could peg me as a middle-aged bum at a glance, but Julie seemed to stand outside age, just looking in and smiling at the rest of us. Her hair - black, silky - was cut fashionably short.

“Hey Julie,” I said, with the awkward, feigned familiarity of meeting TV personalities, “thanks so much for having me on. I’m incredibly grateful for the opportunity.”

She gave an excited little squeak, like a teenager at a boyband concert. This was all feeling more and more like a big, sinister practical joke. Trick or god damn treat.

“Hearing you say my name is so surreal,” she said with a laugh - no, a giggle, “young me would have exploded at just the thought of it. You should know, I don’t normally do this, but with you I just couldn’t resist. You’ve been a hard man to track down, you know? Extraordinarily private, for a celebrity of your stature.”

I laughed back, acting like I was in on the gag.

“Yeah, well,” I said, “I have always been pretty low-key.”

“Are you a fan of the show?” She asked, clearly hoping the answer was yes. Julie reminded me of the kid in class who was always trying to impress the teacher - searching for some kind of validation from someone she perceived as an authority figure. You don’t get into this line of work unless validation is part of what drives you.

I’m ashamed to admit it, but I thought about lying, about humouring her. It was only when I realised there might be a follow-up question that I decided to give her my slightly-sanitised version of the truth.

“I’m sorry,” I said, “but I don’t really watch much TV. But Sean, my agent, he told me this show was excellent, so I jumped at the chance to be a guest.”

Julie’s face fell slightly, as though my words had wounded her, but she stayed positive. Outwardly, at least.

“In that case, Travis, you are in for a real treat tonight,” she said, “I’ve got some great questions lined up, there’ll be a brief Q&A with some audience members - don’t worry, it’s all screened, so there won’t be any curveballs - and we’ll have a few fun little segments mixed in to break stuff up. Is this your first time doing a live TV interview? My researchers couldn’t find much footage of you online.”

“No, uh, this is my first time. I’m a little nervous, actually.”

She gave a friendly, comforting chuckle and patted me on the shoulder.

“Don’t worry, you’ll be just fine. You can pretend it’s only you and me, if that helps, but everyone out there loves you, Travis. They’ll be hanging off your every word.”

“I never knew The Red Weekend had such an ardent fanbase.” I said, trying to play off all the uncomfortable praise that seemed to be bombarding me from every angle.

Julie laughed again, as though I’d said something funny and missed it.

“Don’t be so modest, Travis, everyone remembers their first time watching The Red Weekend, it’s a rite of passage,” she said, walking towards the door, “if you need to do any last-minute psyching yourself up, now’s the time. You’ll be on in ten.”

The sudden, strange realness of it all hit me like a haymaker as Julie closed the door behind her. What the hell was I doing? I wasn’t an actor, not anymore, I designed logos for small businesses and occasionally made a poster or two. The freakish contrast between the world I’d known for the last two decades and the world I was being pulled back into was jarring. It barely felt like I had time to blink, when Michael, the rep, was knocking on the dressing room door.

“We’re ready for you now, Mr. Norton, do come out and join me. Recording will begin soon.”

I gulped down my final misgivings like cheap scotch, and gave a long sigh. It was now or never, but truth be told, even for fifteen grand, “never” was looking more attractive.

The set was, in a word, generic. A large red couch sat across from a wide desk, bearing the title “MIDNIGHT RENDEZVOUS” in large but tasteful lettering. The background was the standard plywood fare covered in a large facsimile of the L.A. Skyline up in lights. Julie sat at her desk, beaming, while a skinny warmup comedian stood centre stage, making anodyne jokes about West Hollywood traffic to the softly-laughing studio audience. They sat in near-darkness, compared to the bleached whiteness of the set, but the longer you looked at them, the more you could make out all their shapes.

I took a seat across from Julie, not wanting to upstage the comedian, but the second I entered the view of the audience I felt a hundred pairs of eyes pierce me. For whatever reason, I was the centre of attention.

“This will be over soon, and we’ll get started,” Julie said with a wink, “this might be my most anticipated episode. No pressure, though, you’re gonna nail it.”

The warmup comedian was finishing his set, his brow now dotted with glistening beads of sweat, like the damp patches glaring through his cheap suit. None of his stuff was particularly funny - all broad observations and reheated takes, the TV dinner of comedy. Most of all, he just seemed surprised and giddy to be there.

“Thank you!” He said, “you’ve been a wonderful audience, but now I’m gonna hand you over to Julie and Travis, who I hear have got an excellent show for you tonight! Have a happy and safe Halloween, guys!”

He laughed as the crowd cheered, and then started to head for the exit, when Julie called to him.

“Josh!” She called, “you did a great job, really awesome stuff. Would you mind sticking around a few minutes longer? There’s a few last little things we need to do.”

Josh nodded politely and returned to centre stage, delivering a few more inoffensive little quips to the crowd, and receiving small bouts of friendly laughter in return. I didn’t notice at first, but Michael the rep had appeared at Julie’s side, and I caught the tail end of their conversation.

“Is the perimeter secure?” She asked him.

“Yes, ma'am,” he replied, “we should be all good to go, when you’re ready.”

She nodded, and Michael disappeared backstage. Seeming to just arbitrarily come and go was Michael’s whole thing, I gathered, but before I could think about it any longer, Julie stood up and joined Josh, centre stage.

“It’s looking like we have a beautiful audience tonight!” She said, with the practiced, theatrical flair of someone who’d said this a million times, “and how appropriate, because I think tonight we may have my favourite guest of all time. Do I even have to say his name, folks?”

There was a cheer from the crowd. I gave an awkward smile, and Josh just stood there dumbly, next to Julie.

“I have been informed by the producers that all the perimeters are secure now,” she said, “so, with that in mind, it’s time to change.”

It happened so quickly, but it felt like it took a million years. The hue of Julie’s skin began to change from a pale pink to a deep, murky green, as her shape began to shift, bloat, and elongate. But, it wasn’t just Julie: the camera men, the stagehands, and the audience began changing too, all slowly warping themselves out of humanity and into something else entirely. Six claws, those big amphibian faces, those long, whipping tails and terrible jaws full of thousands of teeth.

If I wasn’t almost entirely sure it was all fake to begin with, I would have screamed until my lungs burned up into prunes in my chest cavity, but as it was I couldn’t summon a single sound. The host, the crew, the studio audience: they weren’t human, not even close. They were Pavlović’s monster. They were the Rugoba.

All of them except Josh, who stood next to the seven-foot-tall monster that Julie had become - still somehow wearing that sleek grey suit over her freakish new body. He was quaking in terror, only letting out occasional whimpers of fear. Both were standing in front of me, so I couldn’t get a good look at their faces, but beyond them I saw a legion of grinning Rugoba filling the stands. All here to see me.

“But, before we get this show on the road,” Julie said, her voice startlingly similar to when she still seemed human, “some free concessions for the first few rows. Remember to share!”

With a huge, clawed hand, Julie gave the quaking Josh a push. He pitched forwards, screaming, into the midst of the studio audience, and they set upon him in an instant with claws and teeth. Ripping, tearing, devouring. Those panicked yells soon just become bloody gurgles, and then nothing but the sounds of feasting, and of Julie’s laughter. When Josh’s head came away from what was left of his body, several Rugoba seemed to fight over its contents.

Had I not have been desensitised by spending my young adult years working in crappy, exploitative horror movies, I’d have thrown up. Instead, I just sat and watched, feeling like someone was taking a weed whacker to my soul. Human beings weren’t meant to witness things like this, and now, I was the only one here.

“Settle down, folks,” Julie said with a good-natured chuckle, “we’ll have more snacks distributed throughout the show. Everyone ready to begin? If you are, give me a big cheer!”

And she got one. The creatures that’d eaten a man alive a few seconds before just took their places, all looking as excited as their inhuman faces seemed to allow. The better part of me knew that I should have tried to run - I wasn’t paralysed by fear or anything like that, no, I just knew that if they were eating Josh but sparing me, there had to be a reason.

A Rugoba director, wearing an abnormally large headset to fit around his horns, called lights, camera, action.

What I assumed must have been the theme tune began to play, as Julie turned to me, a look of confusion spread against her wide, froglike face.

“Why haven’t you changed, Travis?” She asked.

That’s when it all hit me: why I was here, what all this was about. Pavlović - that mad, genius son of a bitch - his makeup job wasn’t just good, it was utterly flawless, a perfect representation of a creature his family always knew truly existed. The costume was so good, it even fooled Julie and the others. For all these years, they genuinely thought I was one of them.

“I can’t.” I said, without thinking.

“Why?” She asked in a harsh whisper.

I could tell the theme song was drawing to a close, and I needed to spin good enough bullshit to not get eaten by a talk show host. It wasn’t my best work, in hindsight, but what I said was:

“I’m a method actor, and I’m playing a human in my next role. I don’t want to compromise the integrity of the character.”

What I expected was getting a face full of gnashing monster teeth, but no, Julie just laughed and smiled at me. As the theme song played its last few notes, I breathed a sigh of relief, knowing she’d bought it. And with the audience’s undivided attention, Julie began her little monologue.

“Welcome, welcome, welcome to the good people at home! You know me, I’m Julie Forrester, and this is Midnight Rendezvous - the most popular talk show on Rugoba TV!” She said, before presenting her middle claw to the camera, “so pogo on that, Morning Chitchat. And boy, do we have a special guest for you tonight, folks, a guest quite unlike any other. You know him, you love him, it’s the one and only Mr. Travis Norton!”

The studio audience exploded into deafening cheers and applause, like none I’d ever heard in my lifetime. The response was so overwhelming, I nearly forgot I’d just seen them all eat an innocent man alive.

Julie walked back and squeezed herself behind the desk, making it look comically child-sized now.

“Now, Travis, I’m thrilled to have you on.” She said, leaving a pause for me.

“I’m thrilled to be on,” I said, my voice quivering, “sorry, I’m not used to all this attention. It’s a little overwhelming.”

She laughed again, and said, “now, in many ways, you’re a guest that needs no introduction - but I’m gonna introduce you anyway, because that’s how I make my living.”

The crowd laughed, and I decided to join in. Slime was dripping in liberal dollops from Julie’s massive jaws, coating the top of the desk. It’s a miracle I didn’t relieve my bowels just looking at her.

“I know I’ve been a fan of you for a long, long time, Travis. Having a Rugoba celebrity on the show is nothing new, of course, we’ve had plenty here: Björk, Kanye West, Ryan Reynolds…but Travis, you, to this day, are the only Rugoba in living memory who’s had the guts to show their true form on film,” she said, a genuine note of pride in her voice, “and I think that deserves another round of applause, don’t you, folks?”

More applause, and I forced a smile. It was becoming clear to me that this whole thing was just a tightrope act: I was a folk hero to them for now, but the second they realised I wasn’t one of them, I’d be devoured, just like Josh. In that moment, I wished that Richard Upton Pavlović was alive again, so I could have a go at beating him to death myself.

“If you’re wondering why Travis is looking so tasty tonight, folks, it’s because - and this is a Midnight Rendezvous exclusive - he’s going to be starring in a new movie soon. How exciting?” Julie said, playing up every word for the eager crowd of monsters just beyond the edge of the set, “he’s a method actor, so he’s trying to stay in character. Can you tell us a little about the film, Travis?”

Great. I was on the spot again, one lie leading to another. A good piece of advice to take to heart is that when you’re already in a hole, it’s best to stop digging, but I was already half way to China.

“It’s called Mirrors: Reflecting,” I said, completely pulling it out of my ass, “it’s a comedy-drama about a has-been actor who ends up getting way in over his head in a situation he doesn’t understand. It’s in pre-production.”

“Oooooh,” Julie said, “sounds exciting. Now, I’ll start with the question I think we’ve all been thinking since we first saw The Red Weekend: how did you find the willpower to never eat any of your co-stars?”

The general rule seemed to be that anything I found morally repugnant would get a big laugh out of the crowd. The Rugoba sense of humour seemed to be mainly based around terrible things happening to humans, so I chose my words as carefully as I could, given the circumstances.

“It’s, uh, it’s all about self-control,” I said, “you’ve just gotta tell yourself to stay in the professional zone, and that you can’t eat any of them, because it’ll, uh, compromise the production.”

“God,” Julie said, “check out this guy here, making me feel like a slob. You’ve gotta give me the number of your dietician after this, Trav. I ate mine last week.”

I laughed out of politeness, but I genuinely wasn’t sure whether it was a joke or not. For my own sanity, I chose to believe the former. The crowd found it hilarious, either way.

“Did any of your co-stars know the truth? You know, about who you really are?” She asked.

“No,” I cut in, worrying that revealing the truth would be a secret death sentence, “those dumb humans believed it was all just makeup. You know what people are like, easy to trick.”

Julie slammed a claw down on the slimy desktop and gave an over-the-top laugh.

“So true, Travis, so true!” She cackled, “in fact, half of the folks at home are probably enjoying a trick or treater as we speak. Halloween, what a holiday, it’s like getting free home delivery - and they bring your dessert in a bag with them! So considerate - who says humans aren’t good for anything?”

How many of these things were there? How many facets of society had they invaded, if they had their own TV shows? Sean said this show went out live to millions of viewers, and surely not all of them would be watching. There must have been Rugoba everywhere.

“Now, a couple more serious questions, before we get to the fun stuff,” she said, licking the slobber off her fangs with a long, purple tongue, “your filmography has some strange gaps. You get plenty of work in the eighties, and a little going into the nineties, but then a huge episode of silence until now. Why the return to film?”

It probably shouldn’t have rattled me, given what was going on, but it did. Somehow, the fear of failure ran even deeper than the fear of monsters, and Julie had opened the floodgates.

“It’s not been for lack of trying,” I said with a laugh that undermined my sadness, “it’s hard to make a good living as an actor. Unless you’re an A-lister, chances are you’ve probably got a second job on the side to make ends meet while you try to live out your dreams. I’m a graphic designer in my spare time. Just lately, I got lucky, and was offered another big break. It wasn’t what I expected, but I’m trying to play it out as best I can.”

The crowd gave a sympathetic “awwww” that felt good in spite of them being a horde of carnivorous beasts. Julie seemed similarly sympathetic, looking at me with those big, black shark-eyes that somehow communicated a warm depth of compassion you couldn’t imagine coming from a creature like her.

“Well,” she said, trying to reclaim the room, “I’m sure I speak for everyone in this room when I say that we’re glad you’re getting work again, Travis, you’re a talent like no other. That’s why I thought I’d get you a fun little Halloween treat.”

All the lights around us began to dim, as several excited “oooooohs” issues forth from the crowd. I could hear sudden movement backstage, and the scraping of metal against metal.

“But,” Julie said with glee, standing up from her desk and trotting to centre stage, “one person’s treat is another person’s trick, quid pro quo, that’s the way the world goes. Travis isn’t the only special guest we’ve got tonight, courtesy of some fine work from our producers.”

A group of Rugoba in dark uniforms dragged a huddled, chained figure onto the stage. He’d been either beaten or drugged, but whatever the case, the guy was totally out of it. Half-naked, covered in scratches where his handlers had been too rough. It’d been so long, but after a moment or two, I recognised who it was.

Ian Barker, my old Red Weekend co-star.

“As you all know,” Julie said, addressing the crowd, “the one blemish marring the perfection of The Red Weekend is the downer ending. The rest of it is such an uplifting story of Rugoba conquering and devouring humankind, as nature intended, until the character played by our new guest Ian Barker here slays our champion!”

The crowd entered a state of vicious booing, all directed at Ian, who was too dazed to even respond. He remained on his knees, with a heavy metal collar bound around his neck.

“But, today, as a Midnight Rendezvous Halloween special, we’re going to right that wrong, folks!” She said with a laugh of shrill, sadistic excitement, “our dear friend of the show, Travis Norton, will devour Ian Barker live for you and the folks at home, and all the wrongs will be right again. Is everyone excited?”

As the volume of the cheering went up, my heart sank. Before I could even think to stop myself, or formulate a plan, I was up on my feet and charging towards Julie with an excuse.

“Julie, you don’t understand,” I pleaded, “I have to stay in character, I need to seem human.”

Julie scoffed and shook her head - more for the audience than me.

“What? Humans eat other humans all the time! Jeffrey Dahmer, Andrei Chikatilo, and a whole bunch of others,” she said, “you don’t even need to change back. The producers got you this handy little tool.”

A fourteen-pound framing hammer was forced into my hands, crushing my last attempt at an excuse. Everyone but Ian was looking at me, as I stood there with the hammer, all grinning and egging me on with their eyes.

“You only have to eat some of the brains, it’s the best part anyway,” Julie said, “I’d hate to break you too far from character.”

Then the chanting began: kill, kill, kill. I don’t know who started it, but now there was no stopping it, not until I’d made up my mind. I gripped the hammer, hard, and looked at the back of Ian’s head. If I fessed up, and told the truth, would they kill him and me anyway? Did it make more sense to just kill him and get it over with, then try to live with the guilt afterwards?

Maybe it did make more sense. But that’s not what I did.

“Stop! I yelled, the hammer clattering to the ground, "and please listen!”

The room fell silent, and Julie started looking at me like she knew something terrible was about to happen.

“I have a confession,” I said, “you’re not gonna like it, but you have to listen to me, and hear me out. I’m not one of you, okay? I’m not a Rugoba. I’m a human being, it was all a big god damn lie.”

Julie stared at me, devastated, and said “wait, Travis, what do you mean? The Red Weekend…”

“The Red Weekend is a shitty movie that ruined my life!” I blurted out without thinking, “it was all special effects makeup, none of it was real. The guy just knew about you, somehow, and you’re what he based his design on. I was never a Rugoba. I’m sorry for misleading you all like this, it’s just a huge misunderstanding.”

In an instant, the crowd devolved from low, worried murmurs to riotous shouting. Julie tried in vain to comfort the yelling crowd, to stop them baying for my blood, but it was too late. I’d taken one of their greatest living legends, and torn it apart in front of them. I’d gone from being a hero to the devil himself.

Running was the first thing on my mind, but before the thought even properly formed, something had struck the back of my head - and everything went black.

***

When I finally came to, I was staring out of thick, iron bars into the furious amphibian face of Julie Forrester. The room was dark, so I could barely see beyond her, staring into the cage and mugging at me. She’d lost her grey suit, and was wearing a white outfit with a skirt instead, her whipping tail protruding from the back, lashing at the air.

“I bet you feel really clever right now, Travis, well done,” she said, her voice devoid of the lightness and humour I’d known it for, “you made me look like an absolute clown on my own show. I trusted you, I invited you on, and you just humiliated me.”

“I’m sorry,” I said, my thoughts still returning in brief snatches, “I really am, Julie, I didn’t mean for it to happen like that. Aside from the whole ‘eating humans’ thing, I like you as a person. I wouldn’t want your credibility to take a hit.”

She ran her claws across the bars of the cage, and shook her head.

“Too little, too late, I’m afraid,” she said, “but you can still make it up to me, in other ways.”

“I want to, Julie, I really do.”

Julie pulled back from the bars a little and seemed to pace around the cage, her footsteps heavy and wet, but as regular as the ticking of a clock’s pendulum. It’d drive you mad if you listened for long enough.

“What you said earlier about the entertainment industry is true, Travis, even if the rest was all lies,” she said, her tone gravely seriously, “if you want to make a good living, one job won’t cut it. You need to be a real polymath to put bread on the table. Thankfully, I’m a Rugoba of all trades: Midnight Rendezvous is just one of the shows I host.”

“What’s the other one?” I asked, out of morbid curiosity.

She stopped, pressed her terrible amphibian face against the bars, and grinned.

“You’ll see,” she said, “you’ll see real soon, Travis. I’m gonna make you into something so much better…”

As Julie started to walk away from the cage, one by one the studio lights began to turn back on, cracking into life. The couch and L.A. backdrop was replaced by a homely-looking kitchen, fitted with a gorgeous array of utensils and hardware. Julie produced from the front pocket of the white apron she was wearing a long and magnificent chef’s hat, and placed it onto her huge, slimy head.

The words “COOKING WITH JULIE!” were emblazoned across the front of her kitchen unit.

My fear had already passed, all that remained now was that kind of dissonant, slaughterhouse calm that sets in when you already know you’re finished. All that’s left to do is wait. But, I took a strange comfort in knowing that this Halloween night The Red Weekend would finally be coming to an end.

I closed my eyes and exhaled, as the director called “lights, camera, action.”

#stories #horror #halloween #funny #monster girl

[laurakinneywrites]

BUNNY WHITMORE;

fc: evanna lynch | counterpart: the white rabbit from alice in wonderland

full name: rebecca whitmore goes by: bex, becky, bunny, bun, etc birthday: february 25th 1992 sexuality: panromantic asexual parents: jeanette lawrence (mother), richard whitmore (father) pets: tweedle dee (white rabbit), tweedle dum (brown rabbit) occupation: circus performer; acrobat/clown/trapeze/unicyclist/etc

Rebecca Whitmore was never your 'average' student. In fact, she was never average at anything. Very ambitious from a young age, Rebecca knew from the minute that her feet touched the ground that she wanted to become an Olympic gymnast. Training from the minute she could walk, she worked herself to the bone, never letting anyone deter her from her dream, and always driving herself forward, well past her limits at times. From a family of four other siblings, she always strived for the top spot in all aspects of her life. She fought for her parent's approval, thriving off of their attention and the way that they fawned over her, watching her excel through life and come home, week after week, with a new medal or trophy to add to her growing collection.

Rebcca was the exact kind of girl that continually had crowds at her disposal, girls at school wanting to be her, boys wanting to get her into their bed, and sometimes a little bit of both. She was the ultimate Queen Bitch, using her high status within the school to her advantage at any given moment. She was cruel, thoughtless, often picking on the kids she didn't like. She easily worked her way onto the cheer squad as a Junior in high school, not only impressing the older girl's, but finding that even as a youngster she still managed to have a hold over them. She was smart, tactical, manipulative, but with talent like no other. Sailing through High School on her looks, and her domineering personality, Rebecca often found herself butting heads with absolutely anyone that crossed her path – but none like Bailey Blue. Bailey and Bex butted heads from the second they met: both of them Queen B's trying to charge their way to the top, intent on taking over the role of Captain of the cheer squad, bitching and bickering their way through high school, clashing at any given moment.

The kind of girl that had everyone falling at her feet and following her every word, whether it be fashion tips or just who to like and who not to like (ahem, Bailey), Bex had her fair share of enemies and fans, an even split down the middle. Never one to shy away from conflict, she always stood her ground and, on more than one occasion, sent people running from class, or even cheer practice, crying and cursing her name. She wasn't a nice person, and she didn't care who she hurt along her road to victory. She was not only ruthless with her words, but by nature in every way possible. A strict keeper of time, Bex wouldn't tolerate anybody messing with her schedule, not in any capacity. With an irrational desire for everything to be perfect, Bex has exceptionally stern rules that she follows through all aspects of her life. Between her unyielding sense of cleanliness and the tip-top condition of her room, her flawless handwriting and painfully tidy school work, her prim and proper outfits, and pristine routines and workouts, without so much as a foot out of place, Bex has no time for imperfections of any variety. She was diagnosed with a very mild case of OCD during her teen years, and was told that with the right attention that it would eventually pass, but with her drive and her determination she pretty much ignored any and all advice she was given, and so her anxieties and all her nervous ticks, as well as her little habits, grew tenfold and became a little unmanagable, while also being one of the driving factors in her success and her endless immaculate records. If anything is ever remotely out of place, or behind on schedule, it'll mess with her entire day and she'll find herself seething.

One girl in particular that Bex did have a soft spot was Alice Liddel, who was a couple of years younger than herself. While they mightn't have always shared similar interests, the younger girl seemed to admire her – as many did – and so Bex found herself attached to the girl, feeling a fierce sense of protectiveness over her. Should anybody mess with Alice, Bex would take it as a personal attack and take them down.

As well as all of the above, Bex always had a great love for bunnies, even to the extent that it became the reason behind her very nickname. All through high school she was referred to as nothing but Bex, or Bunny – nobody ever called her Rebecca. Where plenty of rich, uppity, trust fund kids tended to veer towards horses and other unreasonable animals, Bex always preferred bunnies. That same love of them carried over to holidays such as Halloween, where she would be the cliché, token Sexy Bunny every single year, and if anyone so much as dared to wear the same costume as her, or something similar, she'd have them blacklisted from every party, and every social gathering, and would bring down her wrath on them so hard.

Passing every class with flying colours, representing the school at Gymnastics competitions not only across the State, but across the Country, Bex was well on her way to attending an Ivy League University, one step closer to her dream. With a scholarship at her fingertips, she had nothing to lose.

One day, however, there was a huge part to celebrate the end of the football season. Bex was one year away from graduating, the cheer squad had just won gold at nationals, and throughout the course of the year she'd won a whole plethora of gymnastics trophies and medals. The squad were holding their annual party, and Bunny was attending. Bunny didn't drink, smoke, or do drugs of any variety – her record was spotless, and she had no intention of ever harming it, never wanting anything to get in the way of her training. All the boys at the party were all over her, as they always were, and trying their best to have their way with her. Over the course of the years and her time at school, Bunny had solidified her reputation and was known not only across the campus, but throughout other districts, too. But one thing that was particularly notable about her – to the boys on the team, at least – was that she never put out. She was the girl that everyone wanted a piece of, and yet she was impossible to get into bed. Bunny hadn't ever know the term asexual, but she was very firm on the way that she felt, and had no intentions of ever climbing into bed with any of them. While she excelled at stringing people along, this was one instance in which she was firm and wouldn't waver, not for anyone.

At this party, one boy in particular was especially pushy, and the end result was that he spiked her drink and sexually assaulted her while she was unconscious. Bunny was afraid and devastated, and understandably traumatised, and so she never told anybody of her r*pe. She withdrew and became incredibly depressed, her anxiety doubling, tripling, quadrupling, and she became unrecognisable. She started drinking as a means to cope with everything, and eventually turned to drugs, too. It started out light, just her looking for pills, and weed, and anything that was considered 'mild' or 'harmless', until she started turning to heavy drugs, injecting herself, and staying out partying every night. She lost herself completely – her reputation was in tatters, she was the school joke, people thought of her as trash, and were ashamed to see her. She was kicked off of the cheer squad, her grades dropped and she was kicked from her Gymnastics programme – losing her scholarship, as well as any hopes of seeing the Olympics. Her detour onto the drug scene took a hard hit, and she lost all of her friends, bar Alice. Alice remained on her side, though unfortunately it was for the worse, as Bunny lead the younger girl astray and introduced her to a life of drugs too, her influence a terrible one on her fellow blonde.

After her inevitable fall from the top spot in all walks of life, Bunny's family were furious, disgusted by her behaviour, and they cut her off. With no trust fund to support her addictions, she was kicked out onto the street by her own family, who were unwilling to help her – not wanting her to tarnish the family name. Alone on the streets, her descent into the drug scene only grew grimmer, and she found herself broken, weak, and close to death. Eventually, she was taken by surprise when she was approached on the street, found laying in a gutter, soaked through from rain, shivering from withdrawals. She thought the stranger was going to take advantage of her, or at least provide her with more drugs, but instead they took her in, taking her some place safe, cleaning her up, and helping her get the help she needed. She was admitted into rehab, and soon found that her saviour was a member of the local circus, and their whole 'family' of performers gave her a roof over her head, offering her food, clean clothes, and a bed to sleep on until she was recovered and ready to make her way back out into the world. In the end, Bunny decided to stay, finding a place and a comfort within them. The circus and its intricacies endeared to her, their kindness and their wholesome, unwavering love with no want or desire for anything return drew to her like nothing she'd ever felt before, warming her heart substantially. She joined up with them, putting her skills in both acrobats and gymnastics to use, while also exploring other fields.

Though still a stickler for time, and with her own anxieties and problems, Bunny is a lot happier than she had been in the past. She's a recovering alcoholic and addict, and has found a much deeper compassion within her that she never knew she was capable of. While the old her still has moments where it tries to unleash itself, a part of her wondering if, in a difficult situation, it would be easier to lash out, the level headed side of her wins over. Her fellow performers taught her what it was like to be compassionate, and understanding, and kind, and to have an open, loving heart to absolutely anybody. She found a new walk of life with them in all aspects.

She still suffers in a lot of degrees from both the trauma of her rape, as well as her drug abuse, however. Fidgety and with a tendency to hop around – something akin to a bunny – she's often perceived as weird by outsiders, and certainly by people that knew her in the past. Her moods can vary from her being incredibly hyperactive, smiley, and forthcoming, to her withdrawing, and becoming incredibly nervous, always needing to be doing something with her hands, for the desire to keep them steady, and in need of projects to keep her mind active and busy when in need of a distraction.

If she should find anything out of place, of her own belongings, it'll certainly set her on edge. After her fall from the top, even the slightest change can unsettle her. If it's so much as an out of place tube of lipstick, or a performance being delayed by just one minute, she'll find herself disorientated and slightly erratic. She likes to have a control over her time, and her belongings, as best as physically possible, feeling a sense of power in being able to handle some aspect of her life, where she failed miserably to regain her control in the past. The parts of her life that she can take the reigns on and make sure fall into place exactly as planned are where she's most comfortable, as she finds herself put out by situations that she can't pull the strings on, and can't predict the outcome of. Her aversion to being late, and her obsession with timekeeping, means that you could very well be deep in a conversation with her, and she might cut you off entirely out of the blue, and inform you that she has precisely 17 minutes and 6 seconds to reach her next destination, and that she certainly can't be late.

She struggles, at times, with touch, though she has grown better. Where people like Jay, and little Grace, have remained in her good graces (no pun intended) and kept her steady – Jay's own recovery, and grief, from his addiction having been an anchor of sorts for Bunny – she finds herself at home, finding in him an older brother figure with whom she can relax around. She finds Grace, and her childlike manner, a comfort, and will accept a warm hug from the little girl when she's in a good place. Jay also remains one of the sole people who knows just how to calm her down in a bad situation, with the capability of holding her and containing any of the anger, fear, and grief that often fights to unleash itself.

Now she's trying her hardest to live her life with a smile on her face, as often as she can. It remains hard, and the good days and the bad days are like a switch with which she has no control over – her mental health overpowering her in a way she'll never be able to get a grasp onto. She has a much more open heart, and has the capacity for kindness, and has no room for bullies and nastiness, feeling utter shame and disdain towards her past self. There are still days during which she blames herself for her own attack, wondering if all her life decisions lead up to it and whether she deserved it. Of course, that's not the case at all, but she often has a hard time processing it.

Bunny has alternated between three different lifestyles, all three of which warranted a whole different sense of fashion, with which she's now merged as one. Pre-addiction, she was very comfortable in her gymnastic leotards, her bunny costumes, cheer costume, as well as having a proclivity for waistcoats, berets, and pencil skirts. Her fall from status lead to a few looks that she'd never have seen coming for herself– adopting much darker colours, with one short stint into dyed hair (varying from blue, to black, to green, and so on – thank you Cher, for that). She wore lots of blacks, torn tights and jeans, with heavy black boots, painted nails, and so on. After her recovery, and after delving into the exciting, quirky workings of the circus industry, and their bizarre sense of fashion and exciting wardrobe, she found a comfort in larger, puffy, dresses in which she could drown herself in, bunching up the fabric around her and often likening it to sitting in a cloud. All of that, coupled with Jay's own bizarre sense of fashion, meant a delightful mixture of a whole array of fashion senses, meaning she had a tendency to look either very well matched, or entirely out of sorts completely – a perfect representation of her own personality.

#tw: drug addiction #tw: alcoholism #tw: rape #character bios; #c: bunny whitmore #THIS IS THE LONGEST BIO IN THE WHOLE ENTIRE WORLD

[violecentstrs]

Memories of Us - Chapter 10

A/N: I’m sorry for the little delay, but hey, it’s still Wednesday right? Heheh. Anyways, I hope you guys enjoy this one too!  Thanks for reading! 

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader Warning(s): Blood and fluff Word Count: 3,363 Summary: Soldier Reader looks exactly like Linda, a woman Bucky used to love. Little by little, she uncovers his past with Linda and what had happened between them through her visions. As she does, her feelings for Bucky grew as well. But, one question remains: if Bucky returns her feelings, will it be for Reader or for Linda?

<< Previous Chapter  ☀

★ ★ ★

• • •

“How the hell did another of our base camp get taken over?! The units under your command are useless! You were supposed to protect that! Now they have the location to five of our weapons factory! You’d be better off dead like the others too!” My father yells at a sergeant. 

He stands in silent. The poor man is covered in dust and blood. He just managed to escape the attacks with the rest of his man and found their way here. Blood is seeping through his clothes from his wounds.

“You don’t deserve your title as a sergeant! You don’t deserve your medals!” He yells again while slamming his fist down on the table.

“I should have you killed for betraying our country!” He yells at the man again. This is ridiculous.

“Father, that is quite unreasonable.” I quickly say while standing up. The sergeant looks over at me before back down to the floor.

“Quiet, Linda! You have no say on this matter!” He yells at me. I grit my teeth before making my way to the man.

“I most definitely do! I may be a woman, but I do have opinions of mine own. I think that you are taking this too far. The units of that camp was clearly outnumbered and even if you were there, the Nazis would have been able to get those information. Maybe even more since you are the General. If you’ll excuse us, I have to tend to the wounds.” I say while grabbing onto the man’s arms. He looks at me surprised as I start to lead him out towards the door.

“You insolent child!”

Before I could process anything, I felt myself being pulled backwards. My father’s rough hand lands on my cheek in a harsh manner. I fall down to the ground from the force. I could taste the blood in my mouth. The sergeant looks at me horrified.

“You dare to think yourself as higher than the General? What have you contributed into this war, Linda?! What makes you think you can do as you please?!” He yells at me. The tears threaten to spill from my eyes.

“That is no way to behave, General.” Colonel Phillips walks into the room unannounced. Peggy follows behind and helps me up to my feet. My father looks at him surprised before clenching his teeth.

“This is family business, Colonel. You have no say in this.”

“It doesn’t matter. I have another business to discuss with you. Please leave us.” Colonel Phillips orders me. Peggy helps the sergeant and me out of the room.

“Treat his wounds Linda. Then treat that cheek of yours, all right?” She orders me. I nod in silent. I lead the sergeant into the medical tent.

My father had slapped the words out of me. My cheek is burning and the metal taste of blood in my mouth is getting stronger.

“I apologize, Miss. You were hurt by the General because of me.” The sergeant says quietly. He didn’t look much older than me. I doubt it was his fault that the camp was taken over. He must’ve fought his best to protect it.

“Of course not. It’s not your fault.” I say. We didn’t say anything to each other after that. He was exhausted and injured. I was broken and upset. My own father had slapped me. I can feel my cheek getting swollen now.

“It’s Charles McDarrow.” He says quietly. I look up at him.

“My name is Charles McDarrow.” I smile.

“Linda Rothwell.”

I rest the sergeant down on the bed before cleaning up the supplies after treating his wounds. Tan skin, green eyes and brown hair. Quite the attractive guy after all of the blood and dust was cleaned off. I grab an ice pack and head back into my tent. I needed to lie down. My head is spinning.

When I walk in, my heart jumps into my throat. Bucky is sitting on my bed, reading through a book I had placed on it earlier. I wasn’t expecting him in here. I originally wanted to avoid him until the swelling had reduced. If he sees it, I know he’ll get worried. And I don’t want that since he already has so much on his mind.

“Interesting book. You love literature, don’t you?” Bucky chuckles while flipping through the pages.

“B…Bucky.” I stutter. He looks up at me. His expression changes and he drops the book on the floor of the tent. He shoots up towards me and holds me.

“Linda! What happened??” He asks while grabbing onto my chin to examine my cheek. I yelp in pain when his thumb brush over the red and purple part of my cheek. Eyes were filled with concern. I knew it.

“N…Nothing. Just a little—”

“Don’t lie to me! Who did this to you??” His voice getting dangerously angry. I shiver in fear. I didn’t know what to say.

“Linda!” He yells again at me. The tears are spilling out now. I was overwhelmed. The anger from my father, and now from Bucky. Guilt falls over his face.

“I’m sorry… I’m sorry.” He says while holding me tightly in his arms.

I gasp into his shirt. His hand is gently stroking through my hair. I shiver at his touch. I close my eyes and let the tears spill. When I was done, he sat me down on my bed before pressing the ice pack against my cheek. I hiss in pain, but it did relieve the heat and throbbing sensation of the bruise.

“What happened?” He asks again before planting a soft kiss on my head. I look down at his hand in mine. I brush my thumb over his lightly.

“Father. He was being unreasonable towards a sergeant and I stepped in.” I say simply. Bucky sighs out and pulls me into him.

“You shouldn’t do that, Linda. I know you want to help out, but you shouldn’t. See? Now you’re the one that’s hurting.” He says. I sigh out before pulling away.

“What can I do? Sit and watch my father torture the poor man? He was injured and tired. The last thing he needs is to hear the insults from my father. I needed to do something.” I say. Bucky lifts up my chin before kissing my lips gently. I blush at the touch before pulling away quickly. It was sudden.

“Your kindness and generosity is admirable, but think about yourself too next time, all right? I don’t want to see the person I love getting hurt.” My heart drops. My breath caught in my throat. My eyes widen. Did he just said that?

“What?” I ask carefully while looking at him. He smiles before pulling me in for another kiss.

“I love you, Linda. And I want you to always be safe and away from harm, okay?” He says quietly against my lips. My heart is pounding within my chest. My stomach is twisting and my mind is blank. I didn’t know how to respond to his statement. I was surprised and happy to hear that coming from him. He pulls me into his arms to hold me tightly.

Just like that, the throbbing pain of my cheek and sadness had faded away into thin air. I was replaying his words in my mind again and again. I had forgotten what had just happened to me because of how happy I was to hear that from him. I take a deep breath before sighing it all out.

“I love you too, Bucky.”

• • •

“Steve! Cargo is leaving on the ship named Flora Maria by the Southern Hera Port!” I say into the mic.

“Copy that. I’m riding there now.” Steve replies before ending the transmission. I loosen my grip on the man’s bloody shirt. I watch him slip down the wall with a loud grunt. I pick up my blade off the ground before wiping the blood on his shirt.

“The police will be here soon to pick you up.” I say simply before tucking the blade back into the sheath. A floor board creaks outside of the door. A gun fires towards me, but I duck down quick enough to avoid it. The bullets follow me down to the table. They are piercing through the wooden frames.

I push the table up with all of my might towards the gunner. He lets out a grunt when the table hits against him. I jump up on the underside of the table to pin him down to the ground completely. He yells out in pain.

“Where’s Naim Barakh?” I say, pressing the edge of the table against the man’s chest. He coughs out and looks up at me.

“Get off me, stupid bitch!” He yells out, pushing the table up to move me. I keep my balance and break edge off the table with my shoes. I press the broken piece down against his neck, enough to suffocate him.

“One more time. Where is your boss, Naim Barakh?” He coughs and struggles underneath the table. I keep my other leg planted hard on the table so I won’t lose my balance.

“Go to hell!” He yells through his choked voice.

A vision flashes through my mind. I was sitting in another room, watching Steve interrogating a Nazi soldier with Bucky. Bucky holds the gun to the soldier’s head as they continue to pester him for information. When nothing was said, I watch as Steve nods at Bucky. I stood up and ran over to the other room when I saw Bucky’s finger on the trigger.

I hear a cock of a gun behind me followed by a gun shot. I had spaced out because of that vision. I gasp at the painful sensation of the bullet grazing my arm. I lost my balance and fall backwards, hitting the back of my head against the chair. I pull out my blade and throw it towards the man’s hand.

He yells out in pain when the blade pierces right through his hand, disabling it. The other man gets up from underneath the table and points the gun back at me. I quickly push his hand upwards as he shoots before pulling out my other blade from the strap around my calf. I shove the blade deep into his shoulder to disable his whole arm. He cries out in pain before I throw him towards his comrade. They crash against the wall, knocking out both of them.

“Y/N! Found him. Tenth floor! I need some help!” Natasha suddenly yells into the earpiece, scaring me. She sounds like she is struggling. I reach down to pull out both of my blades out from the men.

“On my way!” I yell into the mic before putting my blades away. I pick up the rifles from the floor and make my way up to the tenth floor to end this mission.

~

“Not bad, Y/N. You’re active, quick and smart during this mission. I don’t doubt that you’ll be great for the A.C.T.I.S. (Avengers Counter-Terrorist and International Security) special unit.” Steve compliments while brushing his fingers through his hair. His helmet had caused for him to sweat a lot underneath all of that heat.

“Not quick enough.” Natasha teases. I chuckle while wrapping bandages around my arm and thigh. Thank God the blood had finally stopped.

“Hey, I still managed to get that guy off you, didn’t I?” I say with a smile. Natasha chuckles before looking back into the file.

“Yeah, well good job.” She says. Wow, Natasha praised me.

After we reported ourselves to the board, we make our way back to our respective gear rooms. Now we’re waiting for their approval of me be as one of the candidates for the new commander of A.C.T.I.S. I clean out the dried blood from my blades. I had lost one of them during the fight.

“How was the mission?” A familiar voice says from behind me. I look over at Bucky. He’s leaning against the door frame. I smile over at him.

“Good. Managed to capture the drug lord, knocked out about thirty bad guys with Natasha and Steve also stopped the boat from delivering the drugs into Mexico.” I answer while slipping the guns into their compartment.

I hear footsteps approaching to me. Bucky turns me around while his eyes shift between my thigh and arm.

“You got hurt.” He exclaims with a worried expression. I blink before shifting my attention down to my bandaged arm and thigh. His concern really touched me, but at the same time surprised me.

“Just flesh wounds. Nothing too serious.” I say while carefully pulling myself away from him. My heart is pounding madly inside of my chest.

“What happened?” He asks. His tone sounds so worried. Why is he so worried? He should know I would come back with some scratches here and there from the mission. It does involve guns and knives after all.

“A bullet and knife scraped against my skin. Like I said, nothing serious.”

“No, we need to get yourself checked. Did you disinfect the wound?” He asks while grabbing onto my arm again.

When I look up at him, his features changed. Only this time… it wasn’t a young Bucky, but Mike. I look at him mildly horrified. I gasp and pull my arm away immediately. When my vision clears out, Bucky is holding the same expression that Mike did.

Right… that one time when I got those flesh wounds after being trapped underneath a flipped car during a rescue mission. He wasn’t there, but when he saw those bandages, he was so worried that he didn’t let me go until I got those wounds properly treated.

“Y/N?” Bucky’s voice pulls me back into reality. I blink and shake my head.

“N…Nothing.” I say while closing the doors to the wardrobe. I hear a sigh.

“You need to watch out for yourself.” He says.

“We’re out on a mission. We’re bound to get scratches here and there, Bucky.” I say while removing the gloves from my hands.

“Yes, but you’re a woman. You are a little more delicate. You need to take care of yourself.” That comment somehow offended me a little. I know he is just concerned for me, but what makes him think I can’t handle myself?

“I think I’ll be just fine regardless, Bucky.” I shoot him a look. It was enough to make him regret his statement before.

“You don’t always have to be so strong. You know that.” I raise an eyebrow. A shiver up my spine. I’ve heard those words before. But where?

“I choose to be, Bucky. I need to be, in fact. In the real battle, you need to be. You know that.” I say while crossing my arms over my chest. I was getting irritated, but at the same time, touched at how concerned he is about me.

“Yes, but sometimes you’d go and help others without thinking. It puts you in dangerous situations without you realizing.” He says.

I was taken aback by that. I don’t know what he meant. That mission with Steve and Natasha was the first I’ve had with them. How would he know that? He wasn’t even there. Unless…

“Bucky, I’m not Linda.” I protest. I’m getting angry now. He’s thinking about her again isn’t he? The guilt that brushes over his face is more than enough to confirm that.

“N…No. I’m not. I’m thinking about you, Y/N.” He attempts to cover up.

“Bucky, I’m not her. I know I look like her, but I’m not her. Can’t you understand that? We’re different. She may have been a lady then, but I am a soldier. I was brought up to be a soldier. Raised as a soldier. I know the value of one’s life and mine own. You don’t have to worry about me running blindly into a battle without thinking of a way to get us all out alive. I’ve done that before many times. Even you know that from my teammates.” I say again while turning around and taking my jacket off. I dust it off and wiped out the dried blood from the torn sleeve.

I’m hurt that he’s still mixing me up with Linda. The only reason why he would care or worry about me is because I look like his ex-girlfriend, or something. He must’ve wanted to repair what was broken a long time ago, but I’m not the one. I’m Y/N L/N, not Linda Rothwell. Why can’t he get that straight?

A sudden feeling of anger boils up inside of me. This feeling was out of nowhere. It threw me off. I was angry at him, yes, but this was a different feeling. A feeling of anger directed towards me. I blink once to try and brush the feeling away. It did. Just as quick as it surfaced, it disappeared.

“At least get yourself checked again before, okay?” He says finally. Within that tone, I can hear a mix of worry and fear. My heart aches a little at the tone. I sigh out in defeat. At least he’s genuinely concerned.  

“I’ll be fine, Bucky. Don’t you worry, all right?” I say while looking up at him. He gives me a weak smile before nodding. His hands brush over my arms for reassurance. We stood in silence for a few moments with his hands lingering on my upper arm.

Slowly, Bucky leans down towards me as his hand snakes down to my waist. It was so sudden, but familiar. I didn’t react, I stayed still and watched him. I can feel that familiar warmth of his body pressing close to mine like it did that morning in the graveyard. I gasp quietly. My heart beats wildly when his eyes shift down towards my lips. I can feel them quivering as much as Bucky’s.

His arms wrap around my waist to lift me up just a little. Just as our lips are about to touch, we hear heavy footsteps down the hall. We both immediately pull away from each other and turn away. I hang my jacket on one of the hooks. What was that? It felt like I wasn’t in control of my own body.

“Y/N, have you seen— Oh, Bucky. I was looking for you.” Steve’s voice echoes a little in the room. I can feel shivers up my spine at his voice. I turn to look at him and give him a nervous smile.

“Yeah, he was just checking in.” I say.

“I wanted to see how she did.” Bucky continues with a hint of nervousness in his tone. I clear my throat and smile at both of them.

“She did amazing, Buck. I don’t doubt that the board will choose her as the new commander.” Steve says excitedly while tousling my hair. I smile at him.

“I don’t doubt it either.” Bucky smiles back at me.

“So, wanna get some dinner? I’m starving.” Steve says while nudging Bucky’s arm. I chuckle at them.

“Sure. Wanna join us, Y/N?” Bucky asks me. My body shivers when he directs the question towards me.

“Ah, you guys go ahead. I have some work to do after this.” I say a little painfully. Steve sighs out before nodding.

“Okay, well, I’ll see you tomorrow, then. I hope we hear the good news! Let’s go, Buck.” Steve says while heading out the door. I look up at Bucky to find his eyes were glued on me. My heart skips a beat at the sight before I look away nervously.

I hear a soft chuckle followed by a gentle stroke through my hair.

“I’ll see you later, Y/N.”

When he left me alone in that room, my mind was swirling with so many emotions. I don’t know how to feel about this. He almost kissed me. No, we almost kissed. My body moved on its own. It wanted to be close to Bucky. It wanted to hold Bucky. It wanted to feel the love from Bucky.

But it didn’t feel like I was the one in control of it.

★ ★ ★

☀  Next Chapter >>

A/N: Yay~ Another close love-like encounter between Bucky and Reader! 

Readers: “Author, please make us kiss already. I cannot hold back anymore! I must love Bucky!!”

Be patient, children. You shall get the guy soon. Mmkay? Huehuehue 

I hope you guys enjoyed that nonetheless! Don’t hesitate to leave a like/comment on this chapter. <3 They are much appreciated. Thank you so much for reading and much love! <3 

Tag(s):  @shamvictoria11  @munsurieya  @inumorph  @38leticia  @anbrax5553  @queenayles  @inspirevato@zxcorra  @bucky-barnes-pls  @soymikael  @summeralexander  @ninjayjumper  @alphaaddict@buckybarnesbestbabe  @elaacreditava  @tchillx

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #the winter soldier #sebastian stan #sebastian stan x reader #captain america #captain america fanfiction #natasha romanoff #black widow #steve rogers #memories of us #mou

[lovethediseasedkillerpuppy]

Dean’s 2 talks with Mary:

Lemme freak out over this scene before I dissect it line by line. I replayed this stuff a good 10x bc I was so damn elated that Dean stuck up for himself & Mary sure as hell needed to hear these things. Jensen did a phenomenal job. I loved every second of it.

Mary: Just hear me out, please.

Dean: wow, just wow.

Mary: Dean, what the BMOL are doing, what we're doing, it's a better way. Look, I'm not blind to who they are or what they've done but…

Uh yeah actually ya are blind to what they've done bc you don't know all the people they've killed & ignorance isn't an excuse. You got in bed with these guys, you should have looked into 'em. You don't want to know bc it'll mess with what you want. 

Sam: When? When did you start working with them?

Mary: Before the lake house. It wasn't Wally. They brought me that case.

Try a lot before the lake house. Y'all were pretty damn cozy by then.

Dean: You were running an errand for the brits, you kept it from us. Cas almost died.

Sam: A hunter got killed.

Mary: You think I don't know? I'm the one who burned his body. I'm the one who told his wife. I watch him die every night.

Dean: Good.

Actually Dean, you ALL almost died. That prince of Hell was abt to take you all out bc of your mom's sticky fingers. Cas was just the one who got seriously hurt. What happened to your explaining, Mary? This shit sounds like defensive justifying your actions, making it abt you & trying to garner sympathy. As Dean said, good. Any guilt you're having is well earned.

*scene intermission *

Mary: I'm doing this for you. I'm playing 3 decades of catch up here.

But what does the former have to do with the latter? Again you're straying from this promised “explanation” & trying to manipulate the convo to gain pity for yourself. And I’ll leave Dean to deal w the 2nd part of that bullshit.

Dean: And we're not? How do you think this has been for us? We're your sons. And you've been gone, our whole lives. You've been gone. You said that you needed time. No, you said you need space. So we gave you ur space, but you didn't need just space, no you needed space from us.

DEAN FUCKING WINCHESTER KEEPING IT REAL

Mary: That's not true. Dean I'm trying...

Ok so ur just gonna totally ignore his question, cool. Dean isn’t gonna push the issue it seems but I still wanna know. How do you think it was for them? Have you even thought abt it? Do you give a shit?

Dean: How about for once you just try and be a mom!

And BOOOOOM there it is!!! Your benefit of the doubt adjustment time was waaaay long enough, mother Mary. Abt damn time someone said it. All the bonus points that it was Dean who got to.

Mary: I am your mother but I am not just a mom & you are not a child.

It's interesting to me here how Mary differs from what Dean said. Dean told her to try being “A” mom, implication being act like a mom/do motherly things. But Mary says I am “YOUR” mother, implication that she birthed them. There's a fuck ton world of difference b/t being a mom (as Dean requests) & being a mother (that Mary answers back with) Birthing children makes you what Mary is defending herself to be. Actually being there for them & loving them is what makes you a mom, what Dean is, perfectly reasonably, asking for.

Now onto the 2nd part which is several levels of ridiculous. Who the hell said anything abt her being JUST a mom? Stop putting words into his mouth. And telling him he isn't a child...now THAT sounds very childish. But again, stop putting words in his mouth. Also how fucking dare you, bitch. You have your beloved John's journal & you KNOW Dean didn't even get that chance when he WAS a child.

Dean: I never was.

THERE IT IS. Thatta boy. Call her on her shit. You’re still being too easy on her, but ur a better person than me so...

Dean: So b/t us & them…

Mary: It's not like that...

Dean: Yeah Mary, it is. And you made your choice. So there's the door.

Oh how much I LOVED him calling her Mary. Being called mom shouldn't be smth just expected no matter what. Bitch hasn't earned that. Gah, ik how much it must have hurt him to do but seeing Dean kick her ass out was satisfying as fuck.

Onto talk 2...

Dean: It's not your job to make my lunch...kiss me at night. We're adults. You're gonna make your own choices even if I don't like 'em. Even if I really really don't like 'em. So that's just smth I'm gonna have to get used to.

Alright, there's a lot to be said abt this. I've seen a lot of anger over “Dean apologizing again” I understand why it's being looked at that way. Don't get me wrong, I'm pissed off abt this dialogue too but I'll get to that. To me, this wasn't an apology in the strict sense of the word. It wasn't him saying he was sorry, it was him laying things out there, making it completely clear what he meant before abt the mom thing. (since apparently she is that dense so he needs to spell it out for her) 

Now the reason it infuriates me & why imo it's being dubbed an apology is this; as per fucking every single time it is DEAN who has to be the bigger person. As always it's DEAN who is having to smooth things over. As always it's DEAN putting it out there that he's willing to accept & love someone unconditionally. Don't get me wrong, these are things that make up the big beautiful heart this boy has & I never want him to lose that, but as someone who loves him it PISSES ME OFF. Dean won't be petty so allow me. Why does it always have to be Dean? Why does he always have to swallow the shit? Why does he never get to just freely express his thoughts & feelings w/o needing to back track/suck it up later? Why is it always Dean who has to see & understand everyone else's point of view but nobody bothers to do the same for him? Can't we have that for Dean even ONCE? Of all the times this shit has happened you would think the ONE damn time it could've happened would be from his mother, but no, he can't even have that. So while I don't see it as an 'apology' I'm still just as damn enraged over him even having to give this little speech at all. MARY was in the wrong. MARY should have been the one to patch things up...and not to mention bc who expected Dean to get an I’m sorry but Ima do it anyway; WHERE IS MARY’S I’M SORRY??? HUH? And we’ve had enough damn examples of Dean ‘I will love everyone unconditionally’ Winchester. It’s beyond over damn due that we get some examples of him getting unconditional love back ffs. On the plus side at least Dean still stood his ground that he didn’t like her choice. He won’t do it, but we can give a huge I TOLD YOU SO later when this goes to shit.

Onto a different side of this rant. The fact that what Dean said is just utter nonsense. WHERE did this shit even start? Sam has said similar. I've seen some fandom say similar. The show is obviously trying to push it but WHY. It isn't black & white, all or nothing like the writers are trying to portray it. Oh either Mary is cold, distant, abandons them or she stays home, bakes them cookies & wipes their snot. Where the hell does that reasoning come from? Who even thinks it's reasonable to think that's what Dean would want? It's one of the more asinine things these writers have done & that's on a list of a LOT of competition. They're ridiculous. They're going so far 'this' way to try to show how oh so not sexist they are by having this bad ass career woman, kids be damned, & we are inclusive of the ladies but all it's doing in reality is making Mary look like a cold hearted selfish bitch. Of course she isn't just a mom. Nobody's expecting that. But she isn't even being a mom AT ALL. She's awful & the fact that the show is trying to have the narrative be in HER favor & making her sons just deal w it & see it her way & making THEM seem like the unreasonable ones (mostly Dean) is srsly sending a terrible message to the younger viewers.

Children plz, listen up, you do NOT have to love & accept your parents just bc they're your parents. If they hurt you you have every right to express that & call them out on it. If they disregard your feelings & continue to hurt you, you have every right to show them the door. Parents do NOT have the right to treat you like shit with the justification “I'm your mom/dad so I can treat you however I want & ur supposed to allow it” Blood does NOT make you family. That's complete truth. You DO need to earn that by being there for & loving someone. “They're family, they're supposed to make you miserable” IS WRONG. If 'family' truly makes you miserable it's called a toxic relationship & you need to srsly think abt whether it's worth it to keep the r/s going. If you hope it's salvageable & want to change it then go for it & try but if not then there is nothing wrong with cutting ties with blood family members. As heart breaking as it is, the truth is some of us are born to parents that are lives are better WITHOUT. Allowing them to continue to abuse you, be it mentally or physically, by brushing it off with “they're my mom/dad” can & will cause lasting damage./psych rant.

#supernatural #dean winchester #spn meta #season 12 #anti mary winchester #rant #thoughts #12x14 #the raid #DEAN DESERVES BETTER #dean needs a hug #my psych brain leaking into the post #writer fail #JENSEN IS A GOD DAMN GIFT TO THIS SHOW #jensen ackles

[dmsboi]

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You ain't been sober an entire day since Nixon was still on the teet" and she'll be like "you'd drink too if you had such a shitty family" and I'll be like "maybe if you didn't have so much side wang pop-pop wouldn't have moved to Reno" and she'll be like "he moved to Reno because Schenectady was getting overrun with Mexicans" and I'll be like "Nana that's racist" then she'll say "then why don't you move there." This goes on until I'm done hosing her off, at which point I take her back inside, but her in front of a TV playing Diagnosis: Murder reruns, and give her a box of wine with a straw. Old people need the routine. forgive english, i am Russia. i come to study clothing and fashion at American university. i am here little time and i am very hard stress. i am gay also and this very difficult for me, i am very religion person. i never act to be gay with other men before. but after i am in america 6 weeks i am my friend together he is gay also. 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