Tony: I broke my foot today.
Peter: That socks.
Shuri: Oh shoe-t.
Tony: Thanks for your concern.
Tony: I broke my foot today.
Steve:*being a concerned mature adult* you those things can kill you
Bucky: *smoking a cigarette* I know
Tony: *downing a bottle of vodka* we are just trying to speed up the process
Peter and shuri: *eating a raw cookies and nods violently*
Peter: Incorrect quotes are just mini-fanfics.
Shuri: Oh my god they totally are!
Peter: Uptown Funk totally would’ve made it onto the Shrek soundtrack.
Shuri: Someone make a Shrek 5 just for this reason.
Shuri: Did you know that if you break a bone, typically it’ll grow back stronger?
Peter: So what you’re saying is that I should break every bone in my body, then I’ll be indestructible!
Shuri: No, I-
Tony: Peter, NO!
Shuri: my weave? Snatched.
Peter: your man? Mine.
Tony & T’Challa: a bitch? Tired.
Peter: Has anyone else noticed that July, August, September, October, and November’s initials spell the name Jason?
Shuri: Huh. So what do we do with this information?
Peter; Well, with a D for December, it seems obvious. It’s just Jason Derulo having a shout out to himself in the actual calendar.
Shuri, without missing a beat: *sings* Mmm whatcha say.
Shuri: Deadpool has 19 chimichangas and he gives-
Peter: wait why does Deadpool have so many chimichangas?
Deadpool: mind yo business, Peter!
Ned: tale as old as time-
Shuri: meme as old as vine
MJ: beauty and the-
Peter: I will buy America for two goat
Shuri: *walking in the room*
Shuri: no, no, that’s far too much
Peter: one goat?
Shuri: not even
Peter: so how much?
Shuri: like, a half a can of flat root beer, but even that’s a little generous
where’d the time go
(i’ve actually had this idea in my head for a while, thanks for accidentally sending a title that fits it lol)
One-shot, Fuck Endgame timeline, Peter and Shuri are all grown up and getting married! Tony and T’Challa sit together during their first dance and Tony just smiles and says “God, we’re old.”
And T’Challa gives him that Look that he does and says “What are you talking about? She is only my sister. That’s your son. You are old, I am not.”
And Tony kind of rolls his eyes but he’s still grinning and he gets all misty-eyed thinking about how Peter started as this awkward Spider-Kid and now he’s running SI, he’s saved New York and the world multiple times, and now he’s getting married? And one day he’s gonna have his own family, and Morgan’s growing up too, and God he’s old.
It’s worth the gray hairs though, to see Peter smiling and happy spinning his new bride around the dance floor wearing the tie that Tony had to help tie.
Also, May dressed for a royal wedding with the big hat and whatnot and she might be getting some looks from the Wakandans, but she’s having a good time (and is openly crying watching her baby grow up before her eyes).
Peter: roses are red, i’m going to bed
Shuri: violets are blue, damn bitch, me too
WAIT WAIT WAIT.
imagine,,, Shuri and MJ singing Truth Hurts jokingly to Peter (and maybe Harley too). THATS TOP TIER COMEDY RIGHT THERE. PLEASE SOMEONE WRITE IT I BEG YOU
shuri and peter.
thats all i wanted to say.
Colress. Kukui. Sycamore. Steven stone. Agent Looker (Handsome). Lysandre. Archie. And those are the few so far
spider-man 3 best be just shuri and mj making fun of peter and then everybody (including ned!!!!) watches tiktoks while out of nowhere peter reveals he can do the *bam bam bam d*ck* one (i hope yall kinda know what i mean???).
anyway if marvel wants to hire me i would not be opposed to it.
okay yall so ive been doing a lot of research cause my post is pRACtiCally viral…
shuris favourite tiktok trend would def be either that manchester/british girl one or the variations of simp nation where guys confident in their sexuality clown those making the og posts.
peter would first find the ww3 ones really funny and then start genuinely getting freaked out even though he is a fUCKING AVENGER.
citations: vibe check
mcu kids™ headcannon
(btw mcu kids to me means our precious peter, southern boi harley, queen mj, guy in the chair ned, meme lord shuri, and sometimes lila, cooper, cassie, morgan, and harley’s lil sis)
- they all share a playlist with their favorite songs
- they usually play it while hanging out together
- but though none of them admit it, they use it when they’re missing each other
- (especially since only pete, mj, and ned live in NY)
- this playlist definitely has Africa by Toto in it, along with Never Gonna Give You Up by Rick Astley
- it has pretty much every genre of music in existence in it
- this includes country, because harley’s a lil sh*t
- also added by harley is the song Idle Town by Conan Gray cause it reminds him of Rose Hill
- mj added a bunch of 80’s songs (Material Girl, Don’t You Forget About Me, etc) cause i absolutely love the hc of her having a retro aesthetic
- pete added a bunch of songs from musicals cause he’s a theatre kid at heart
- they also have 2000’s songs because face it they SLAP
- one time they were all in the lab, and tony walked into all of them screaming along to Poker Face (he just slowly backed out of the room with a scared/concerned expression)
- Hug All Ur Friends by Cavetown was added by Cassie cause she’s a sweetheart
- someone added Black Widow by Fame on Fire and nat found out and just smiled fondly uwu
- the playlist is named “the loser’s club” - y’all can NOT convince me that they aren’t diehard IT fans
- feel free to add on!!!!! <3