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#peter parker incorrect quotes

Peter B: Everyone always asks me how do I handle this team?

Peter B: The secret is, I don’t. I have no control over them whatsoever. This morning, Miles called my name, and when I showed up to see what’s going on, Ham shot me in the throat with a nerf gun.

245 notes

Peter: Fuck capitalism. It’s a rigged system that keeps us poor and it isn’t fair. You shouldn’t need to work three jobs to afford basic necessities.
Peter, playing Monopoly: Sorry, if you wanted to win you should have tried not being poor.

65 notes

Peter: How do people not swear??? Like where does their anger go?? How do they show their enthusiasm??? What if they stub their toe??? Like saying golly gosh isn’t really going to cut it Barbara.

11 notes