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imlikepadfoot · 1 year

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Rebuild all that you’ve broken

Word count : 1520 It’s right after the prank Siirus pulled on Snape, and Remus is heart broken.

Warning: having your heart break. Song: Throne (Bring me the Horizon)

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Remember the moment you left me alone and – Broke every promise you ever made – I was an ocean, lost in the open – Nothin’ could take the pain away.

Funerals were more joyful than the atmosphere choking every one of them in the Hospital Wing that morning. Remus was in bed, merely awake but the lump in his throat was only confirming what he already knew. He could have hurt someone last night or worst, kill someone if James hadn’t intervened and dragged him out of the Shrieking Shack’s passageway.

His fingers were still oddly curled on themselves, and the pain was still burning him. But this time it wasn’t the transformation pain, it was the kind of pain that was invisible but still left a bleeding open wound. He knew that the wound would heal into an ugly scar that no matter how much time would pass it will never get to heal properly.

—Moon’ I – But Remus’s glare discouraged Sirius from going on with what he wished to say, and Remus wasn’t keen on letting him try to make some excuses from himself. He was the reason that the wound would never heal because nothing was worse than a betrayal.

—How could you, Black? Asked Remus with a cracking voice and Sirius would have had him yell or throw things at him, besides then calling him by his last name. Still, he took the blow, knowing he had deserved it. Knowing, now that the dust had settled, and the rage was gone that what he had done was unforgivable.

He couldn’t answer. He had wanted to say he was sorry, wanted to hug Remus, wanted to tell him that he had seen black and that it was the only solution he had come up with, to get rid of that person. He knew, he had always known since the worlds had slipped from his throat, telling him how to get past the whomping willow that what he was doing was literally murder, but he couldn’t have helped himself and the harm had been done.

—You should leave Sirius, Pet’ and I will take care of him, he needs rest. Added James who had been silent since the night before. His voice was hoarse, dirt was still splashed on his face and his hair was messier than ever. He was pale and for once, no glimpse of amusement could be seen in his eyes. Heart racing in his chest, fist clenched, Sirius could only nod as his eyes were stinging him badly. He could even have his best friend killed last night with his recklessness. So you can throw me to the wolves – Tomorrow I will come back – Leader of the whole pack – Beat me black and blue – Every wound will shape me – Every scar will build my throne.

A week had passed, and Remus hadn’t talked to Sirius since the full moon, and it had been terrible. The marauders were shattered, all gone in the blink of an eye because of the hatred Sirius couldn’t let go of. Even James had grown out of it, but Sirius was who he was and this time, he had proven he was indeed an heir to the Black family, Remus had thought bitterly.

He should have known better; he should have thought of the consequence and what will lead for the future. Now Snape knew, he knew and even if the headmaster had shut him up, Remus knew it would come back one day to haunt him. All he could do for now was to hold his head high and keep moving on, keep acting like he could turn the scar Sirius had left him into some kind of armor.

Two weeks, then three more had passed and James seemed to have forgotten the incident and was back to normal with Sirius. Of course, Remus knew it wouldn’t take long for James to run back to Sirius, but still, he had hoped he would have punished him a bit longer, especially since Sirius’s prank almost kill him or worst, could have made him a werewolf too.

This felt like a second betrayal to Remus and the wound had been bleeding a bit when he had seen James embrace Sirius and told him he would always be his brother, no matter what. It was true, but it was still hurtful and once again, like the first time he had come to Hogwarts, Remus felt like he was all alone in the world.

But this time, he knew what it felt to have friends, a family, and people to love and care for him, and to have been ripped from him was the most painful thing of all. James had told him he’d still care for him, and that maybe he should think about forgiving Sirius, or at least tried to, but it wasn’t that easy, and even though James was full of good intentions, he couldn’t understand. The sticks and the stones that you used to throw have – Built me an empire, so don’t even try – To cry me a river, ’cause I forgive you – You are the reason I still fight.

The next full moon was in two days and Remus could already feel it. Maybe because it had no clouds in the sky, or maybe because he has felt sick for the past month. He was lying in bed with a fever, shaking and sweating, and hoping to be able to get to the bathroom in time as nausea took over him. Merlin, it was awful, and it was the first time since his first year he had to undergo this on his own.

The boys didn’t know about him back then, but they still took care of him. He would have hoped and hoped was all he had done the past weeks, for James to come by and helped him get up, for Peter to rearrange his pillows, and above all else, for Sirius to wash away his fears and pain.

—You’re going to be sick, come. He heard a warm and soft voice whisper to him and before he could protest, groan, or even pushed him away, Sirius lifted him up and led him to the bathroom, patiently waiting while patting his back as he was vomiting all of his guts down the toilet. – It’s alright, it’s gonna be fine, we can already see the moon tonight, I guess it ain’t easy.

—It hurts … sobbed Remus, tears pouring down his cheeks as he was clenching Sirius’s arms, letting his head rest on his shoulder. – It hurts so fucking bad and you didn’t even care. He yelled. He couldn’t bear it anymore, he couldn’t keep inside his own rage, sadness, and his sorrow, he could bear it anymore, it needed to get out.

—I couldn’t look you in the eyes and asked for your forgiveness after what I’ve done. Sirius said, his voice breaking down. —I’ve wronged the two things I’ve always wanted to protect. I’ve exposed you, betrayed you coldly and I almost got James killed. I’m so sorry Moon’… I’ll leave you choking – On every word you left unspoken – Rebuild all that you’ve broken – And now you know (know) – I’ll leave you choking – On every word you left unspoken – Rebuild all that you’ve broken – And now you know – Every wound will shape me – Every scar will build my throne. Remus closed his eyes, bringing his face into the sun as he was lying on the grass with his book near the black lake. James was playing with his stolen golden snitch, Peter was trying to study, and Sirius was asleep, his head touching Remus’s thighs.

A full year had passed since that frightful day and Remus had glued back together, one by one, all the pieces of his broken heart. But like porcelain, even if it was now whole, it was still shattered, trust still tottering and the taste of betrayal hadn’t all gone away.

Sirius had made amends, had slowly, but surely atoned for his sins, rebuilding what he had broken with patience and without being annoyed by the time Remus had asked him. They had cried, a lot, yelled at each other, and hugged each other for hours.

It hadn’t been easy, but they had walked the path together, James and Peter helping him along the way and now, as their sixth year was near its end, he was confident that maybe, maybe the scars left by this story would fully heal and wouldn’t remain an everlasting open wound. Only time would tell, Remus thought before gently stroking Sirius’s hair, wishing upon every star he could never suffer another betrayal like this one because it would be the end of him.

So you can throw me to the wolves – Tomorrow I will come back – Leader of the whole pack – Beat me black and blue – Every wound will shape me – Every scar will build my throne.

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neyney2010 · 3 months

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Lily: Just try going on a date with him!

Remus: No!

Lily: But you said you wanted a serious relationship! he wants one to!

Remus: I said I wanted a Sirius relationship actually...

Lily: ...

Lily: Is that not what I fcking said?

Peter *Who was trying not to get involved*: ... oh fUCK MOONY!!

#harry potter #marauders #marauders era #sirius black #james potter #peter pettigrew #remus lupin #wolfstar #sassy peter pettegrew #platonic moonflower

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pickinglilahs · 6 months

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Sirius 'flirts with everyone' Orion 'to make Remus jealous' Black

Remus 'I'll never be good enough' John 'so at least he's happy' Lupin

#James 'these fucking idiots' Fleamont 'why do i love them?' Potter #Peter 'even i'm not this dumb' Oliver 'but at least its entertaining' Pettegrew #peter pettigrew #james potter #remus x sirius #sirius black #remus lupin #dead gay wizards #dead gay wizards of the 70s #maraders era #i cant with them #i cant with these two

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loveeari · 10 months

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lion man (my little lion man)

Chapter One

Peter Andrew Pettigrew wasn’t feeling the morning at all and was dozing off on a hazy morning at Hogwarts Witchcraft and Wizardry. His friends the marauders weren’t here at the moment and Peter knew where they were. James was on a date with Regulus and Lily while Sirius and Remus were still cuddling in bed.

Why was he awake this early?

Peter didn’t know the exact reason either, but he just couldn’t sleep for some reason. It was their 6th year, the year before n.e.w.t.s and everyone caught the love bug and then there was Peter—poor single Peter with no partner in sight which he didn’t mind.

He knew that he was a mess and didn’t want to drag someone into his mess at all. Peter had been dealing with his Anxiety, Depression, and an Eating Disorder since his third year and never breathed a word of it to his best friends.

Peter didn’t know how to bring that up so he just stayed quiet because what could he say about those topics? It was believed by everyone that Peter loved eating but they couldn’t be farther from the truth at all. Peter finally got up from the table without even bothering to touch his food at all and walked away too somewhere.

He was going to the forbidden forest to a little cave that was a ten-minute walk away from Hogwarts. Peter found that place in his second year when he had this horrendous panic attack and wanted to get out desperately.

Peter purposely made sure the cave wasn’t marked on the map and was a place he could when he felt suffocated by everything. Peter knew that his friends wouldn’t notice him gone for a while. As long as he made in the dorm by curfew they would be none the wiser.

He kept walking zoning out and the next thing he knew he was in the little cave. Peter actually made it comfortable by using runes and warming charms everywhere. He blocked out the cave and strung up some lights with runes. Peter was surprisingly not horrendous at runes as well as some practical parts of magic.

Peter sat down on the bed that he found in the room of hidden things. Something that no one knew about the marauders is that Peter didn’t become friends with them until the middle of the first year. Before that Peter was alone and only had house elves for company. They told him about the room of hidden things and sometimes Peter went there when he wanted a quicker escape from everything.

That’s where he got the bed from and used a shrinking charm which was impressive for a first-year but Peter wasn’t going to say anything about that. He brought out the sketchbook that he had hidden here for the very same purpose. No one knew that Peter loved to draw and that he was really good at it as well as painting.

There were a lot of things that people didn’t know about Peter Pettigrew and he was surprisingly ok with it.

He was sitting crisscrossed and humming a song under his breath. The time slipped away slowly and the next thing he knew his alarm went off again. It was his emergency alarm which he then realized with an oh crap expression on his face.

If he wasn’t back at his dorm in ten minutes, the marauders might throw a search party for him.

Peter prayed that they were too distracted with their significant others and they didn’t notice him at all. It has happened before and maybe it will happen again. Peter was definitely banking on that but he wasn’t always lucky.

He sprinted to the castle and thanked every deity that he was pretty fast on his feet and not unathletic. Peter, contrary to their belief, actually did exercise and was at a decent height. He just covered his physique with baggy clothing because of stuff.

He was panting heavily when he managed to reach the common room and muttered the password. He glanced at the time and winced at the late time which might get questions but fingers crossed he won’t be.

Peter crept into his room silently hoping that all three of his roommates were deep asleep. He wasn’t that lucky when he saw the lights were all on and Remus Sirius and James were staring at him.

Peter cleared his throat, “Hey guys”

James narrowed his eyes, “What were you doing out so late”

Peter shrugged his shoulders, “nothing serious”

Sirius scoffed, “Peter you’ve been gone the entire day”

Remus nodded, “And we couldn’t find you on the map”

Peter looked at them apologetically, “I was in the forest-”

James cut him off, “Doing what?”

Peter stopped the urge to roll his eyes hard, “Don’t worry about it, I just lost track of time I’m fine”

Before any of the three could say anything Peter speed walked to the bathroom. It was way too late to take a shower so he just brushed his teeth, washed his face, and took off his shoes. Peter crept back into the room and all the lights were off thankfully.

He climbed into his bed already awaiting another sleepless night. Peter stared at the stars he put up in his first year because he wanted Sirius to feel less alone. Peter spent all day pasting each and every single one the muggle way and found a charm that kept them glowing.

Sirius teared up and hugged Peter so hard that day but Peter never mentioned it. He was in a state of dozing off and staying awake neither here nor there until his alarm rang quietly. Peter was usually the first to wake up in the dorm and the last person to go to sleep. It’s how it was forever Peter assumed.

“Well this is just lovely” Peter grumbled after rubbing the sleep away from his eyes feeling worse than before. He grabbed his uniform and crept to the bathroom with the lights shut off and well he was used to navigating in the dark. Once Peter got into the bathroom he did his morning routine and put on his clothes after finally taking a shower.

He stared at himself in the mirror and noticed his turning an ashy gray and his blue eyes dimmer and dimmer. Peter could also see he was losing a lot of weight which was Not Good at All.

He wanted to groan but also did not want to face his roommate at all so he ignored it because pretending makes everything go away.

He then quickly walked out and made his way to the kitchens where he usually ate breakfast before he met up with his friends at the great hall and pretended to eat over there. Peter hated eating in front of people because it felt like tiny daggers piercing him with their eyes. Once walking into the house, elves crowded against him and Peter giggled along with them.

Peter absolutely loved staying with the house elves because one thing they didn’t do was judge. He could be just Peter with them and that’s the hardest thing to ever be.

He sat down on the ground because he liked to be at eye level with the elves because he didn’t like looking down at them. The elves have tried time and time again to make him sit on a chair but Peter was steadfast in sitting on the floor eating what meager food he managed to get through his throat into his stomach.

Since it was currently 6:00 in the morning and his friends weren’t going to be at the hall until 8:00 he had time to just sit here and breathe and talk with the elves.

Time passed and unfortunately, Peter had to leave them and he groaned dramatically while Mipsy looked at him dead in the eye, “Petie don’t skip class”

The other elves nodded in agreement and off he went just realizing that he skipped breakfast with his friends and there were now going to be more questions.

Peter hated this with a passion, why couldn’t he be normal and just not get panicky for no reason among other things? Since it was their sixth year in Hogwarts and Peter just loved torturing himself with work he decided on taking Ancient Runes, Arithmancy Charms Potions DADA, and Transfiguration as well as Herbology and unfortunately History of Magic

It was funny when people assumed that Peter was dumb which was kind of funny to think of. Just because Peter didn’t brag about his Academic strength didn’t mean he was stupid. His first class of the day was Ancient Runes which none of his friends took even Remus. They saw no use in the class but well Peter grew up with Runes and loved learning about them.

He wanted to be a curse breaker when he graduated from Hogwarts. In order to become that he had to get O’s in almost everything since it was very difficult to get a job with the goblins since they didn’t trust wizards a lot. He could do freelancing but he didn’t want to break curses for a bunch of rich pureblooded snobs.

Once he made it to class he sat in the middle of the class and doodled.

They weren’t doing anything at the moment since their professor had to do something else. Peter assumed she was catching up on her grading since well she took forever to grade and it irritated him to no end. She wanted all their work on time but she couldn’t grade it on time like what.

His next period came with Transfiguration which he unfortunately had with everyone else. He was going to pretend as if nothing happened which was a perfect way to deal with this situation. Once he walked in the room he could feel the burning gaze of his best mates which he swiftly ignored.

Peter eyed the room and noticed James' seat was suspiciously empty which was odd to say the least. James usually sat with Lily and Sirius and Remus sat together. Peter didn’t mind sitting by himself and told them repeatedly that he was ok with it.

Whenever there was group work Mcgonangall allowed Peter to work with Lily and James or Remus and Sirius which he was perfectly fine with. It wasn’t going to hurt him by being by himself and the positive side was that he could go at his own pace instead of being rushed or stared at whenever he did something faster than people expected him to.

The professors never mentioned it because Peter specifically asked them not but Peter was the top student of their year. People usually mention Lily or Remus but Peter was usually number one or always stayed in the top three in terms of academics and magical prowess.

Because of his demure demeanor and smaller size, people underestimated him and made him seem like some type of luck to his friends which he hated because Peter was friends with them because he was friends with them, he was not running after them for a morsel of attention.

He pretended like he never saw the empty seat by skimming the parchment paper in his hands and sitting where he always sat.

Way far back just like he liked it and he sat down burrowing his head into his hands. Today they were doing practicals about Bird-Conjuring Spells. Which was interesting so Peter knew the movements and he did them without a show. McGonagall never really came to the back and if she did it never was for Peter which he was fine with.

The less attention the better in his opinion.

He had two more classes left, one with his friends which was potions and the other with Remus which was Arithmancy

Peter was getting irritated because why were they starting to care right now? They’ve never cared before but one day he missed curfew without saying anything to anybody they got mad.

He never said anything ever but he knew that Remus was a werewolf and how James and Sirius turned into animagus in order to help him. He knew he was purposely kept out because they wanted to protect him.

Didn’t that leave a bitter taste in his mouth that he realized his own friends probably didn’t even trust him to help his other friend? So Peter did what he did best, ignoring that. He didn’t need to become an animagus and with his luck, he’d probably turn into something gross like a rat so he’ll just stay away from that mess.

He kept his head down in Arithmancy and resolved his fate of being grilled again.

“Why am I so dumb” Peter snarked at himself

After the class finally ended he was prepared to do what he did best.

Ignore it

When he was out of the room his three friends were standing there with narrowed eyes and Peter wanted to groan.

“Leave me alone” he whined to himself inside his head

He still couldn’t get why they cared so darn much but he walked towards them with his head held high.

“Hey guys” He muttered to them as they all made their way to the great hall trying to pretend like nothing was wrong because nothing was ever wrong.

“Peter seriously where were you” Remus asked annoyed

Peter groaned out loud, “Nowhere and it doesn’t matter, please let it go”

Sirius shook his head with his gray eyes burning brightly, “No it matters”

Peter rubbed his eyes with a headache already about to start, “Whatever i’m going to the dorm”

And Peter walked away with James yelling, “What about dinner?”

Peter scoffed, “Not hungry”

And he kept on walking without looking back because that’d be dramatic wouldn’t it? So Peter was walking away normally as one does with his friends seething in the background.

“They’ll be fine” He muttered underneath his breath

He was actually going back to his dorm to maybe attempt sleeping again. Soon he was curled up in his bed with the curtains drawn up close and Peter Pettigrew was still staring at the stars.

#harry potter #poly marauders #protective marauders #peter pettigrew #sad peter pettegrew #completelyau #the marauders suck a little #they get better #i hope

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transtoby · 1 month

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#Harry poter #the marauders #polls #Messers moony worm tail Padfoot and prongs #They’re all dead.#Quite sad #jily #wolfstar #starchaser #marlene mckinnon #Lily evans #lily evans potter #Regulus black #rab #sirius black #remus lupin #barty crouch junior

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remusremorse · 8 months

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A marauders type of love

C̺͆H̺͆A̺͆P̺͆T̺͆E̺͆R̺͆ O̺͆N̺͆E̺͆:

1st person

September 1st 11:15am

I spent the first 15 minutes of the train journey doing my prefect duties, making sure the first and second years got on bord safely and happily. I have been spending the last 5 minutes looking for my best friend Regulus Black. We are currently in our 7th year at Hogwarts, so we have NEWTs this year.

'Petal over here' I hear my name being called as I turn around, I realise its pandora rosier. As I followed her to our compartment, I finally saw Regulus. I tackled him as he didn't realise I was there. 'You sure you can catch a snitch if you can't even sense me about to tackle you. Captain Black' I bit back a cackle, but the others didn't, they just laughed with no regrets. 'I will have you know Captain Grindelwald that I am an amazing seeker you on the other hand are a one-of-a-kind seeker' Regulus snarked back in an incredibly posh sarcastic voice

'Don't talk like that you sound like Dumbledore or my father' came the voice of Dorcas Meadows. We all burst into a fit of laughter. 'Oi, come on don't compare me to my father he's an asshole' my voice rang through the compartment. Followed by murmurs of agreement by my closest friends. Soon we all defused into our own convocations. Me and Regulus reading whatever book we bought each other last Christmas, Dorcas and Pandora catching up with each other and fawning over there crushes on Marlene McKinnon and Lily Evans, Evan and Barty keep showering each other in compliments and kisses or are making out in the corner (them having been together since 5th year).

1:30pm

The lunch lady mrs Parkason I believe her name is came past and offered us food. I bought a chicken sandwich with mayo in as well as some cheese and onion crisps but there was also a lot of different sweets and chocolate. So being the expensive bitch I am I bought the honey dukes chocolate infused with fire whiskey. We all continued to chat while we ate and after descended into a comfortable silence despite the smack of lips from Evan and Barry.

6:00pm

It was peaceful and quiet most of us reading either a book or the daily prophet. When suddenly a loud crash and James potter, Sirius black, Remus lupin and Peter pettegrew came bounding in. 'What the fuck' me and regulus screamed simultaneously. 'Sorry to barge in but where hiding from the prefects' was potters response. Then he turned around and realised that had just walked into a compartment with 3 prefects one being head girl as well. 'Shit,fuck,shit,fuck' we heard potter, black and pettegrew repeat. The look on lupins face was just 'I told you so'. 'I will refrain from giving you all detention because I can do that know as head girl if you tell me who you where pranking and why and also you find out who the head boy is and tell me' is how I responded. The look of pure shock on there faces as to why I wasn't giving them detention was hilarious. That's when Black pipped up and said 'well we where pranking snape as he called Lily Evans a mudblood again also James here is head boy.' 'By the ancients, Merlin help me' I whispered under my breathe as they left.

7:45pm

I checked my watch for it to read 7:43pm. 'It's quater to 8:00 we should probably start getting into are robes' I said with tone of hurry. There is a ruffling noise and the all proceed to change( her uniform is the second slide) the only difference between mine and Dorcas was the tie,robe and jumper colours. Mine and pandoras are the same as we are in the same house and share a dorm.

Once we arrived as head girl I had to make sure all the first years got to Hagrid safely. The only problem was the head boy is potter so that sucks. You see for some reason he hates me, it could be because he's Gryffindor quidditch captain as well as chaser so naturally we would be rivals but he's hated me since first year for some reason unknown to me.

#fanfic #marauders #polyamory #poly!marauders smut #polyamarous #poly!marauders fluff #poly!marauders x reader #smut #animagi #slytherin skittles #poly!marauders imagine

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willow-marygreen · 7 months

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The last memory of a Flower

Whumptober 2023

Day 3 : “Like crying out in an empty room, with no one except the moon” | Journal | Solitary Confinement

Warning : Mentionned Character Death

Paring : Marlene McKinnon x female reader

Words : 1380+

“Harry, I found something!”

Hermione's voice calls the two boys to order. They abandon their exploration to come take a look at Hermione's find.

“What is this? A diary?” Ron asks, looking at the object.

It is in fact a small diary bound in brown leather. The cover is damaged and the pages are yellowed and curled, as if it had been lying in water for a long time.

Hermione dusts off the cover to read the name engraved on the leather.

“Y/N L/N’s diary.”

Harry frowns, sure he's heard the name before. Then as if enlightened, he grabs the photo frame from the shelf. The image comes to life, revealing a happy group of friends, albeit a little chaotic.

Harry points at a smiling young woman. Her head buried in the neck of a blonde teenager who holds her by the shoulders. They hug each other under the teasing gaze of Sirius Black.

“It’s her, right?”

Hermione leans over to read the names written under the photo: James Potter, Lily Evans, Remus Lupin, Peter Pettegrew, Dorcas Meadows, Mary McDonald, Y/N L/N and Marlene McKinon.

The writing on the frame indicates that the photo was taken during their sixth year. By elimination: the red-haired girl is Lily; the brunette with curly hair is Mary; and the dark-skinned one is Dorcas. Harry remembers Sirius briefly introducing them to him in an Order of the Phoenix photo during his fifth year.

“And the blonde girl is Marlene McKinon,” Harry concluded out loud.

Hermione smiles as the two teenagers laugh harder in the animated photo. “They seemed close...”

None of them are unaware that in this photo only two people survived.

Hermione turns the object in her hands uncomfortably. “Are you sure you want to read it...? This is the diary of one of the former members of the Order of the Phoenix. I don't think she has much to hide.”

Harry is about to point out that the diary was in Sirius's things, when Ron calls out to them.

“I found something else.”

He shows them a small wooden box, stored in the same drawer as the newspaper. He gently lifts the lid to reveal its contents: cut-out newspaper articles. Harry leans down to grab one.

Dorcas Meadows, murdered!

December 1981

It doesn't take more than a glance to realize that all of the articles recount the deaths of members of the Order of the Phoenix. A sad memorial to those who fought against Voldemort in the first war.

Below is the article discussing the death of Marlene McKinon. Murdered by Death Eaters with her entire family during July 1981.

The atmosphere is heavy but no one says a word to break it. Instead, Ron grabs another item. This one bears the name of the owner of the diary. He pushes the paper to the center of the table and everyone leans forward to read better.

The auror Y/N L/N, missing!

August 1981, a month after the disappearance of her close friend: Marlene McKinon. The young auror, just around twenty years old, set out on a quest for revenge. Witnesses claim to have seen her for the last time near Malfoy Manor at dawn on August 3. Patrols were launched but no trace of the young woman. It seems that the last heiress of the L/N’s is gone for good.

“August 1981…” Harry thinks out loud. “Hermione, when was the last page of the diary?”

The teenager grabs the notebook and opens it delicately. She turns the yellowed pages, taking care not to linger on the writings. Arriving at the last page, a hiccup of astonishment catches in her throat.

“Hermione?” Ron asks in a worried tone.

“August 4, 1981… The last page was written one day after her disappearance!”

All scruples gone, Harry and Ron in turn look at the diary to try to decipher the writing. There may not be any interesting information to be gleaned from this diary, but curiosity pricks them like a goad.

The writing is shaky. The black ink has smeared in certain places on the page. Lighter stains on the paper indicate the presence of tears, dried over time. The two pages are not completely filled out. The second is only a quarter of the way written. As if hypnotized, everyone begins reading.

August 4, 1981 (Malfoy Manor)

This is the last page of this diary that I will fill out. I wish I could have finished the next 100, but fate has not been kind to me.

If anyone ever reads this one day, allow me to introduce myself:

My name is Y/N, but Marlene calls me “Flower” because I remind her of the beauty of spring (according to her). I'm 23 years old, I have a group of friends and a diploma in my pocket. But in a few hours, that won't matter anymore.

They killed Marlene. Those damn Death Eaters took her away from me. My best friend, my confidante, the woman of my life. They took her from me last month.

And I've been in terrible pain ever since.

No matter how I turn the problem around, there is no future for me. Marlene was my horizon; a shoulder I could cry on; a marvel that I never stopped admiring; the person who introduced me to what “falling in love” meant.

We promised to stay together no matter what. After the war, we decided that we would fight so that people like us could get married. Then we would have a family together.

She wanted at least two children so that they would never be bored. If possible a girl and a boy. She had grown up with big brothers, she wanted our children to have the same life.

So I drew them. The day I learned she had died, I picked up a pencil and started drawing.

I drew her, the way I imagined her in ten years. I drew myself the same way. Then I painted a portrait of our children. I redrew them a good twenty times so that they corresponded to the image I had of them in my dreams.

When I was finished, I allowed myself to cry. I cried for a whole night. I cried for all the times I forbade myself.

And in the morning I had made my decision.

They say that to cast an unforgivable curse you have to want it from the bottom of your heart. And I wanted it in every cell of my body.

I have killed dozens of Death Eaters and not once have I felt regret.

There may have been teenagers in the group; Some who had only followed the crowd. But I didn't care anymore. I was returning the violence of the emotions that I had suffered the previous month.

I'm not proud of it but I'm not sorry either.

I wanted them to suffer like I suffered. I wished them death. I walked over their corpses. I didn't like it but I was too angry to realize it.

I continued until one of them stopped me. They locked me here, in the basement of the Malfoy Manor. I've been alone for an hour. Everyone who comes down here never sees the light of day again. I write by the light of the Moon. Tomorrow it will be my turn.

Narcissa promised to give this diary to Sirius. She gave me the pen with which I write. I think she feels sorry for me.

But I don't feel sorry for myself.

I regret nothing.

I did it for Marlene. I did it for what they took from me. I did it so that they would know the pain of losing a loved one in turn.

I haven't succeeded in overthrowing this stupid cult, but I have no doubt that someone will eventually.

So that one day my soul can rest in peace.

You who read this diary, I hope that this whole period is ancient history. Thank you for giving me your precious time.

Let me not let you forget me:

My name is Y/N L/N. I am 23 years old. I'm going to die tomorrow. But I don't regret it for a second.

To my dear wife; to the souls snatched by Death Eaters; to my friends ; to you dear reader. Signed: Flower.

#whumptober 2023 #day 3 #angst #female reader #gxg imagine #reader insert #xreader #harry potter #the marauders #marlene mckinnon #marlene mckinnon x reader #marlene x reader

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