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The Fleeting Little Life of Peter Wright (2015) dir. TimH and Sammy Paul

Kill Peter Wright if you have to, but don’t kill yourself. Jump on the next Eurostar to Belgium. Leave all this behind. Pursue a life as a chocolatier in the rural tranquility of Derby. Learn a new language. Marry the local barmaid with the massive tits and grow old at a thatched cottage. Can you imagine? Your grandkids would love you. You’d be like Willy Wonka to them or something. 

No, but I’m serious. Is that not better than dying? 

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Okay okay… Okay okay… I have to catch my breath here…. Did the writers of Only You like have a vision that I, yes me, would one day exist and they decided that they’d make a movie about exactly everything I’d ever want to happen to me???? In Italy, my favorite place, where they played two Eros Ramazzotti songs, my favorite singer, and falling in love with Robert Downey Jr (well, Peter Wright, but still), my favorite man alive who I love with every fiber of my being. I am being personally attacked, and it is not okay. Catch me digging to find a Blu-Ray or DVD version of the movie and watching it every day for the rest of my life

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Peter Wright became the first victim of an upset at this year’s World Championship as the 2014 runner-up was beaten 3-1 by Toni Alcinas.

Third seed Wright staged a fightback having found himself two sets down to the Spaniard, but Alcinas held firm.

Meanwhile Dave Chisnall also ran into trouble as he too was left facing an early exit, after opponent Josh Payne stormed out the blocks.

Payne averaged over 100 in the first two sets, but could not maintain that level and twelfth seed Chisnall turned the tie to progress to round three with a 3-2 victory.

Taking part in his 23rd championship, crowd favourite Paul Lim was unable to repeat heroics from previous years and was defeated 3-1 by Ross Smith.

Matthew Edgar fell to the same scoreline against fellow debutant Darius Labanauskas, who became the first man from Lithuania to both play and win at Ally Pally.

Also booking places in round two were Gabriel Clemens, William O’Connor, Brendan Dolan and Luke Humphries with 3-0 victories over Aden Kirk, Yordi Meeuwisse, Yuanjun Liu and Adam Hunt respectively.

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