My March / April 2020 summed up in one picture:
Very problematic claim when there is a whole linguistic discipline developed after Labov for Discourse Analysis. This is an article from 2007 and there is a whole decade’s (90s) worth of literature for the linguistic application of Discourse Analysis/Critical Discourse Analysis/Conversation Analysis that they could have used that completely refutes this point.
In my opinion, this is why linguistic research should be left to or reviewed by linguists in their respective disciplines so as to give a piece of research an expert perspective. I had such hopes for this article.
🐾my momentary desk situation is not the worst
🐾working from the dining table with the kittens sunbathing
🐾trying my best at social distancing
🐾not getting any phd work done tbh, only work from my job
Staying at home: Day 17
April 4, 2020
Look how lovely the leaves have become! The changing weather installed a sense of calmness in me. I love rain!
Goals for today:
1. Try to wrap up project 1, add references and write the results section.
Got an email about discussing courses I can teach in the fall, asking if I wanted to recruit students for this upcoming year, and writing a blurb to put on the website and now it’s all so REAL ya know?
today’s a tough one, folks. I thought I was feeling better this morning, but after I decided to do a quick food shop (spoiler alert, it wasn’t fast!! it took 2 hours!!!) all of my motivation was just totally nuked. I suppose I could spend some time reading papers and coding this afternoon, but honestly I’m pretty wiped out after just 3h of running calculations and trying to get shit done. I’m 50/50 on whether I’ll take the rest of the day off (its 2:30 pm for me rn) or if I’ll just take a break to rest my eyes and try to come back to it. Either way, I think I’m gonna try and work on the weekend again, since I want to get some shit done for my meeting with my PI on Monday, but can’t do much of it now, since the calculations for it are currently running. UGH why did my motivation get totally nuked.
Just made actual progress on the dissertation! I might be turning a corner!
03.04.2020//“DO WHAT YOU ARE DOING”
I always feel so much better prepared for things when I have an extensive to do list in front of me. Now that I have some of my smaller assignments out of the way, I can move on to bigger and more important things.
My research is being shaped into something that can be presented at a conference (not that I was planning on going to any). For that, I have to finish updating my literature review and prepare a presentation. All of that material I’ll also be using for the short guest lecture I’ll be giving for Masters students in a couple of weeks.
I’m going to do some reading this afternoon (the human agency and naturalism I neglected yesterday, mobilisation of FFs 2012-2014, “Apocalyptic Faith and Political Violence”), but other than that I might take the rest of the day off.
Professors who don’t crop out their open tabs when they send you a screenshot of their browser know no fear.
no update today because my soul was sad, so I didn’t get much done. Just about 2 hours before I gave up and had a little cry then went to watch netflix. There’s stuff I should be doing. But. I just don’t have much energy. I don’t know why, since yesterday was fine but maybe I overdid it? this feels not quite like burnout. maybe a little bit like mild depression. idk if it’s the weather or the fact that I didn’t start work at 9 or what. or maybe i’m just having a mood flare.
ah the realities of bipolar. I guess it was only inevitable with all the dramatic changes rn. I just hope it passes quickly. Or that it’s not big enough to stop me from getting more work tomorrow. I feel like crying but not about anything in particular.
man, I miss the office and people and just. life. I was in the process of becoming a whole person again and this happens. it feels like the pieces that I was starting to pick up again and reacquaint myself with have just been blown away and I’m left standing with nothing. Again.
I just found out that I have been selected as a Fulbright scholar for next year!
(yes, the COVID-19 situation is giving me a lot to think about, since I’d have to go to Europe for the year and who knows what the full situation is going be like in 6 months… but when I applied last summer, I didn’t think I had a shot for the particular grant I applied for because of how selective it was, and here I am, having received it!)
Grad school turns two years into a decade.
Working from two laptops is great until it’s not (double the possibilities for procrastination!). This morning I submitted my fourth statistics assignment (ggplot2 can kindly walk itself off a cliff, thanks very much) and organised my data a little bit. I have so much data left to gather, but I’m trying not to think about it.
This afternoon and evening I’ll be drafting the introduction of a workshop paper, brainstorming a seminar I’m due to give soon, planning a section of a grant application, and reading about naturalism and human agency.
02/04/20: the past few days have been spent reading, gaming (AC:NH), walking, and trying to bake (scones!). Honestly, PhD stuff has been very slow. I’m not even distracted, just run out of ideas and my brain feels empty
Ugh is there anything worse than getting a late night email from your PI about something time sensitive enough that you break your no email after 7 policy??? This is the worst feeling ever but I know the discomfort of not doing the stuff would have been worse.
I got so caught up in the project I was working on that I forgot to post. I worked for 12 hours straight, because it was a topic I care about. My parents got worried. I finished one big module but I’m utterly exhausted and burnt out. I DO NOT recommend burning yourself out this way. I know sometimes you have to go into bunker mode, but it sucks your energy up and is no match for a consistent sustainable approach for preserving your mental and physical health.
As for today, I think I’ll take it slow. The main goals are:
1. Finish assignment for ML course, if I feel like it.
2. To get better and do something recreational.
So excited to finally be reading this!!!