#philza minecraft incorrect quotes
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AU where SBI are villains, and Kristin is the villain wrangler making sure all the kids who get counseling in her office get a chance to meet who ever they want, even if they’re wanted dead by the hero commission.
Cue meet-cute(?) between Kristin and Phil, where she spends weeks tracking down the infamous “ Crowfather, killer of heroes and hater of the system” because some little kid wanted see him, and she stands tall and totally not terrified (/s) on a rooftop waiting for him.
And Phil is faced with this woman who spent hours and hours researching his routines not to arrest him but to let a little kid meet him, and he just falls for her.
So they exchange numbers, and everytime from there on out when Kristin has a kid who wants to meet The Blade or Orpheus or Nemesis she just casually shoots THE TOP VILLAIN a message, internally screaming, while Phil is kicking his feet on the air like a stereotypical teenager everytime his phone dings with a personalized ringtone.
Hero!Dream: I have finally confronted you, doer of evil! Today, our fight will be legend-
Crowfather!Phil: wait pause mate- OMG ITS HER 🥰🥰
Hero!Dream: wait wha-
Technoblade: I’ll take it from here
And so begins her getting really casual about the fact she personally texts the top villain.
I’m imagining some side stuff where she meets Tommy, a sidekick in desperate need of help (which she’s happy to provide), and a few others who’s relationship evolves with her over time.
Kirstin when first meeting the Blade: hooooooly smokes this guy is Dangerous, but if the kid wants to meet him… I’ll be prepared
Techno: uhhhhhh (struggling to interact with the receptionist, holds kids and swings them around gently like planes, lets them win fake fights)
Kristin: ok wait he’s like seven shaking puppies built like a brick house
She and Phil talk more and more as the arrangement continues, about everything and eventually life, and things shift from there. The first time that a villain tries hurting one of the kids also shifts their relationship…. especially since Kristin handles it as efficiently as she does.
There’s more, but in this AU I imagine Kristin to have a super dangerous power of her own (unregistered because teehee) that motivated her to work with troubled youth in need of help and kids working with a limited lifespan. I want her to be OP but just friendly and downplaying her ability since she was never in a situation to use it to the full extant.
Also there’d obviously be a CrimeBoys plot and adoption of Tommy into the family (bye bye Dream) which leads to her getting invited over to like. Family dinners and stuff, where the interactions are all completely cute and normal but undercut by her perspective reminding her of crimes they’ve all committed. Like-
“Phil, who had the most beautiful eyes but hands stained with the blood of approximately 3,791 people, passed her the salad with a bright smile. His son(?) continued the story of how he met a new friend. Kristin wasn’t sure if the story was in or out of masks, and she was scared to ask at this point.”
I especially want her to and Phil to reflect the two main approaches to changing the world, where you could either completely destroy the system in place (villains, anarchy) and forcefully restart, or you could tackle an issue at its lowest (if the world is full of corrupt people, change the people from a young age)
#Kristin#sleepy bois inc#superpowers#superhero au#supervillain au#tommyinnit#mcyt#tommy mcyt#technoblade#philza#wilbur mcyt#wilbur soot#sbi#sbi incorrect quotes#crime boys#dsmp techno#dsmp fanfic#philza minecraft#dsmp tommy
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— incorrect quote from the incorrect quotes generator —
Philza: When was the last time you cried?
Missa: Uh 15 minutes ago, why??
Philza: really? That recent?
Missa: Yeah *voice crack* is that a issue? *starts crying again*
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Philza: You think I enjoy being a mother hen to you all?!
Tubbo:...You don't?
Philza:... Yes I do. Its like crack for me
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incorrect MCYT quotes!!
Phil: Why are you always trying to aggravate me?
Tommy: To relax.
Techno: Name a more iconic duo than my crippling fear of abandonment and my anxiety. I’ll wait.
Y/n: You and me!
Techno: tearing up Ok.
Tommy: What makes a bigger memory than a passionate kiss?
Tommy: A stab wound.
Y/n: I think we should have glow stick juice injected in our bones when we're born, so if we break our bones, we get a fun little surprise.
Phil: What's the surprise?
Techno: Blood poisoning.
Tommy, to Phil: I mean, I get complimented all the time-
Y/n: starts cackling
Tommy: I do!
Y/n: laughs harder
Techno: I have a bad feeling about this, guys.
Phil: Oh don’t worry, you’ll be fine.
Y/n: Yeah, what’s the worst that could happen?
Techno, being bailed out of jail the next morning: I hate you all.
Y/n: Are you busy?
Techno: Yes.
Y/n: Cool, listen to this…
Y/n: Family bonding should be 50/50. Phil cooks us dinner while I sit on the kitchen counter playing Mario Kart.
Tommy: Phil, Y/n keeps bullying me at school.
Phil: Ask your teacher for help.
The next day…
Tommy, to their teacher: Will you help me beat up Y/n?
Techno: Phil, I am nothing if not a man of principle.
Techno: Now let’s break into this apartment.
Tommy: Today, Y/n said a swear word, so Techno said that he was going to wash Y/n's mouth out with soap. Y/n replied, “It’s okay, I like the taste of soap”. Turns out, they’ve been putting soap on their lips to blow bubbles.
Tommy: School sucks.
Phil: I know, but you have to do it so you can get a job.
Tommy: What are jobs like?
Phil: They suck.
Y/n: accidentally eats something too spicy so their eyes start to water
Phil: Y/n, look at me. It's okay. I would die for you. I love you so much. You're the best person I know.
Y/n: I'm not crying?
Phil, hugging Y/n's head: Shush baby, it's okay. Techno is here too and he loves you with his whole heart.
Tommy: Can I get a waffle?
Wilbur and Y/n: fighting and yelling at each other
Tommy: Can I p l e a s e get a waffle?
Y/n, learning how to drive: What happens if I press the gas and the brake at the same time?
Tommy: The car takes a screenshot.
Wilbur: Please pull over. I’m driving now.
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March Incorrect DSMP Quotes 04
today's prompt:
all quote prompts are made by @accursed-worm
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Philza: You don't need my blessing to go kiss Wilbur. In fact, I was pretty sure you were already kissing Wilbur!
Y/n: Nope.
Philza: In that case, as the archbishop of Tubbo's fully awakened gaydom, I give you my blessing to immediately leave and rectify that as soon as possible! Go now, my child, and kiss Wilbur right on the lips!!!
#dream smp#dream smp x reader#dream smp x y/n#dream smp x you#dream smp incorrect quotes#philza minecraft x reader#philza x reader#philza x you#philza minecraft#philza#wilbur soot x y/n#wilbur soot imagine#wilbur soot x reader#wilbur soot#tubbo
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@felix-creations @felixs-spam this is your fault/hj
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SBI INCORRECT QUOTES #2
Tommy, in his big man age of 17 after Phil told him that he can't burn school and call it self defence: IM LEAVING
the Uber driver that Phil called cause he didn't want Tommy to go around at night alone: okay????
#tommyinnit#philza#philza minecraft#ctommy#wilbur soot#technoblade#sleepy boys inc#sbi incorrect quotes#sbi#sbi inc#wohoooo
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The feelings are violent have some mcyt Incorrect Quotes and feed the beast
Ok Ya’ll finances be wack right now. So it would be super awesome if ya’ll checked my pinned post out and go to my Moms store, linked just liking stuff helps. My mom’s hard work needs ya’lls gay little appreciation that would be cool of ya’ll (you can buy some of my painting on the ebay if you want)
anyhow buy stuff or no more quotes you silly ducks <3
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Ranboo: Wearing a tank top to bed like the out of control slut I am
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Wilbur:I’m a guy but i’m a wife you know. Marriage but in a “ he’s my wife” kinda way
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Wilbur *takes a swig out of his flask*: u want some of this
Quackity: sure
*takes a drink*
Quackity: is this soup
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Bad: Are you flirting with me?
Foolish: I’m trying
Foolish: I have no idea what i’m doing
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Skeppy about Bad: He's a walking talking curse to humanity, but I like to look at his boobs.
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Bad: If it's shiny and fits in my pocket it is mine. I am sorry for your loss
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Ranboo talking about Tubbo: Found a drawer of socks in my partner's room????? I’m scared, am I dating a centipede??!!
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Tommy: What is it called when you kill a friend?
Wilbur: Homicide.
Phil: Murder.
Techno: Homiecide.
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Foolish: I know what you're up to.
Bad: Really? Because I barely know.
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Tommy, T-posing in the doorway: Greetings, Father.
Philza, not looking up from their coffee: Good morning, problem child.
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Foolish: Trust me I know everything I just can’t form a coherent sentence
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Skeppy to bad: I’m here bae if you need oral support, I MEAN MORAL SUPPORT!!
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Bad: Ah i’m just being paranoid……………………..(squints) or is it my intuition
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Ponk about sam: I couldn't fix him, but I could fuck him
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Hannah, to Bad, pointing to a heart shaped cookie: look! This one’s a heart! That’s how I feel about you!
Bad: *sniffle* AAAAHHHHHHH
Hannah, to Antfrost, pointing at a Michigan shaped cookie: this one looks like Michigan! That’s how I feel about you!
Antfrost: what–
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Tommy: Tubbo told me Santa wasn't real. Well joke's on him because I'm at the mall right now and guess who's here?
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Quackity: Before anyone asks, Yes, I did ruin everything with my hubris
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Bad: I have vomited or coughed up blood and I like collecting flowers or growing house plants :)
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Bad: Slept miserably because i was tormented by terrible visions all night hope none of it was prophetic
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Skeppy: Are you crying?
Bad, drunkenly sobbing: I lost Skeppy
Skeppy: *takes off sunglasses*
Bad, smiling but still crying: I found you
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Skeppy: Girl you are bizarre and frightening and utterly demented. And probably not even a girl now that i think about it. Can I get your number?
Bad: My SCP number or..
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Phil: “Flirting with Death” fucking WEAK catch me sucking deaths dick in a burgerking dumpster at 3am
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Wilbur: They hate to see a boytoy winning
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Quackity about wilbur: This guy is such a loser I want him in my bed immediately
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Quackity: The hate me for being a slut tbh and maybe also the killings too but that’s unlikely
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Hannah to Tina: Sorry I unpacked all my trauma do you still want a kiss
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Sneeg: *hangs up*Skeppy: your lipstick looks great!
Bad: it tastes even better ;)
Skeppy: i know
Bad:
Skeppy:
Bad: Why.. why are your teeth pink?
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Ranboo: remember how I said Aimsey and I were going to have a calm night out for once?
Sneeg: yes
Ranboo: well, we’re in jail
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Foolish: You make me so angry so quickly. It's remarkable.
Bad: I literally only said 6 words.
Foolish: Yet here I am, boiling with hate.
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Tina: Does sea weed even taste good?
Puffy: Yeah, it does.
Hannah: It’s even better than regular weed!
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Tubbo, holding Eret by the shirt: Tell me one good reason why I shouldn't end you where you stand!
Eret, visibly afraid: U-uh... Niki told me to have a good day!!
Tubbo, lowering their fist: You make a good point...
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Phil: Describe yourself in one word.
Techno: Indescribable.
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Antfrost: So, what's it like dating Ponk?
Sam: Once, I asked them for water while they were pissed at me, and they brought me a glass full of ice and said "wait".
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Eret: On a scale from “damn Daniel” to “fre sha vaca do”, how are you feeling?
Tubbo: In between “it’s an avocado, thanks” and “how did you defeat Captain America”, but as a solid answer I would say “I don’t need a degree to be a clothing hanger”.
Tubbo: How about you,Eret?
Eret: Probably “road work ahead”.
Techno: I speak many languages, and this is none of them.
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Foolish: Go to Hell
Bad, tearing up: I wish I could
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Hannah: BEHOLD, the field in which I grow my fucks! Lay thine eyes upon it, and thou shalt see that it is barren!
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Wilbur: Hey Phil,
Phil: Yes?
Wilbur: Can a person breathe inside a washing machine while it’s on?
Phil:
Phil: Where’sTommy?
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Bad: So what’s for dinner?
Skeppy, staring at the food they just burnt: Regret.
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Bad: Wow, geppy, you want to hold my hand before marriage? How awfully lewd of you.
Skeppy: We literally slept together yesterday.
Bad: That's NOTHING compared to the lewdness of holding hands.
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Skeppy: I know what a prism is! It's where you put bad people.
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Antfrost: Why are you on fire?
Bad: This is just how my day is going.
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Bad: Hey.
Skeppy: *pissed off* You…complete…ASS, Bad! You show up here after WEEKS, and you say “hey”?!
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Techno: You’ll have a hard time believing this because it never happens, but I made a mistake.
~~~~~~~~
Bad, threatening Foolish with a paintball gun: Listen... Life comes at us fast. We don't know what life is gonna give us... And today, it's gonna give you... a paintball!
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Tommy: Welcome, fellow idiots
Ranboo: Hello, Tommy
Tommy: No, no, not you, you're not an idiot
Ranboo: You underestimate me
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Skeppy: Do you have any skeletons in your closet?
Bad: You mean literally or figuratively?
Skeppy: Honestly, the fact that I have to specify...
~~~~~~~~
Skeppy: *Stubs their toe* FUCK!
Bad: Mind your language!
Skeppy: What else am I supposed to say, “Woe is I”???
Bad:
Skeppy: You have to accept that swear words are necessary sometimes.
~~~~~~~~
Wilbur: I learned some very valuable lessons from this.
Tommy: I’m guessing they are all horrible distortions of the lessons you actually should’ve taken away.
Wilbur: Death isn’t real, and I’m basically God.
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Skeppy: need me a man with fat tits so i can put my head in there when i'm experiencing sensory overload. and also for lgbt reasons of course but that's a given.
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Hannah: i’m not wife material i would kill and eat you
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Bad: We can’t ibuprofen our way outta this one boys
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ok
*keels over and disintegrates*
0.o
#badboyhalo#badboyhalo and skeppy#dsmp bbh#skeppy#wilbur soot#ranboo#tubbo#tommyinnit#foolish gamers#landduo#skephalo incorrect quotes#skephalo#hannahxxrose#tinakitten#philza minecraft#technoblade#quackity#tntduo#amisey#sneegsnag#ponk#awsamdude#captain puffy#niki nihachu#eret#antfrost
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Wilbur: you know, Philza actually loves you a lot
Tubbo, scoffing: sure, we’ll believe it when pigs fly
The Blade: put me DOWN
Philza, absolutely sprinmnting and flapping his wings as hard as he can: I HAVE TO PROVE SOMETHING
#Yah the blade weighs 3 tons#Philza always has the strength to lift his Collected no matter what#Now give me awwws#incorrect mcyt quotes#wilbur soot#tubbo#philza minecraft#technoblade#fault au#something to nom on#incorrect sbi
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Techno: Tommy isn’t answering his phone.
Wilbur: I’ll call
Techno: Phil and I have both tried six times each, what makes you thi-
Tommy: Hello?
#sbi incorrect quotes#dsmp incorrect quotes#dream smp#dream smp incorrect quotes#dsmp#incorrect quotes#sbi#philza minecraft#philza#wilbursoot#sleepy boys inc#emerald duo#technoblade#techno the pig#dsmp techno#they're brothers your honor
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Tommy: Today at 7 am, Wilbur poured a Monster energy drink in his coffee, said "I'm going to die" and drank the whole thing.
Philza: I watched Wilbur brew his coffee with Monster instead of water. Three cups in two hours. I think he ascended into the astral realm. (again)
Techno: The survivability of the human race never fails to amaze me..
#Various DSMP#dream smp#dsmp#dream smp incorrect quotes#dsmp incorrect quotes#tommyinnit#philza minecraft#technoblade#wilbur soot#ctommy#cphilza#ctechno#cwilbur
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c!Tommy: Phil, I feel like you have the qualities that would make you a great dad.
c!Wilbur: Mate, he's our dad.
c!Tommy: Yeah, I'm aware of that, but technically he adopted me. I'm actually an orphan.
c!Techno, appearing from nowhere: What did you say?
#tommyinnit#wilbur soot#technoblade#philza#philza minecraft#they're brothers your honor#minecraft#dream smp#dream smp lore#mcyt#crimeboys#bedrock bros#sleepy bois inc#sbi incorrect quotes
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“i am bed bath and beyond disappointed in you son”
~Philza, probably
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Wilbur: Arson?
Techno: Arson.
Tommy: Arson!
Phil: Please don’t-
#SBI#incorrect quotes#source: twitter#sleepy bois inc#wilbur soot#technoblade#philza minecraft#tommyinnit#mcyt
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March Incorrect DSMP Quotes 03
today's prompt:
all quote prompts are made by @accursed-worm
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