The exact moment that Phupha realized he was wrong, that he'd made an assumption and a mistake, that he'd almost sent his love away on another lie... His eyes, his panic, the pain...
It's the dawning horror of what he might have done. Phupha knows how fragile Tian was in that moment. He saw his face, he saw the tears and the broken eyes.
He knows how much of that is his own fault, his poor choices, his pain lashing out.
The worst part is that Phupha knew half the story and still never told them.
How much of his pain and his anger at Tian is because he's also been lying to the villagers and knows it was wrong?
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Both Phupha and Tian are seeking connections, seeking intimacy. They’re just at different stages of seeking and coming from very different places to the same goal.
Phupha is coming from a place of familiar loneliness, of being calmly alone and in danger, of knowing that he made a choice to be alone.
Tian is coming from knowing that nothing lasts, from a place of pain and fear and feeling alone in a crowd, of all his choices out of his control except the ones that don’t seem to matter.
Phupha is chosen loneliness, the quiet of the forest, the whisper of stars at night.
Tian is standing in a crowd and knowing that they only see your mask, the art of dying, the tallest skyscraper’s single light glimpsed from a plane window above the clouds.
They’re both seeking something so much more and they can find it together.
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