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#physical abuse

say what you will about abuse but, imo, I’d much prefer to be physically assaulted over being emotionally abused like I am currently.

with physical abuse, there’s marks and bruises and blood and hospital visits. there’s undeniable evidence that you’re being hurt.

with emotional abuse, it’s your word against theirs. it’s the loving, manipulative, “I’d never hurt a fly” abuser against the “selfish”, “ungrateful”, scared victim. some people don’t even believe it exists. I can’t take an emotional abuser to court and send them to jail because they hurt my feelings, even though it’s so much more than that.

I don’t know. maybe my stance would be different if I was physically abused. maybe physical abuse victims read this post and think I’m an ungrateful whiny bitch, which wouldn’t be far from the truth. who knows.

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“Tell it to someone who cares”

“Nobody cares what you think”

“Nobody wants to hear what you have to say”

“Nobody wants to be around you so learn to shut up”

“Go be by yourself because all you do is annoy everybody”

“You should learn to shut up because nobody’s listening to you”

“Oh well, nobody cares deal with it”

“You’re an idiot that’s all you’ll ever be”

“You’re the stupid one, not me” 

“Aw you gonna go and cut yourself? nobody cares”

“Everybody knows that you’re stupid that’s not news”

“I didn’t do anything it’s your own fault”

“I do nothing wrong, you just look for a reason to get angry”

You make me feel like the most worthless piece of shit on the planet. You make sure to remind me every single day just how small I am. You don’t hesitate to laugh in the face of my pain. You spit in my face, you are verbally abusive, you have hit me you have beat me, you have threatened me with harm if I tell anyone the things that go on behind closed doors, and when I try to reason with you, you tell me nobody cares what I have to say, you torment me until I lock myself in my bedroom out of your sight, for you know your job was accomplished. Once I am miserable, there’s a big smile on your face as you walk away proudly. You make me miserable more than any being on the planet. You make me feel so ashamed of the person that I am, you make me feel like the lowest form of scum that you just have to squash because somehow you seem to gain from it. I’m tired of fighting you, you’re supposed to be my brother, you’re supposed to be someone who I can talk to and spend time with we’re supposed to look out for each other and have a bond that lasts for life, yet you have abused me, and psychologically tormented me you have made my life a living hell for 22 years now, and I’m tired of fighting your abusive ways. You tell me if I try to fight back I’ll get what’s coming to me. Doesn’t even matter if I haven’t done anything to you, you’ll pull something out of your ass and find a reason to punish me and make me even more miserable than I already am. And for the last time, I am tired of fighting you, I am tired of the insults, the sarcasm, the threats, I am tired of being caused so much pain, I really wish I knew why you hate me so much, but I guess I’ll never really find out that reason. No matter what I do, you will always be there to knock me down no matter how hard I fight. I’m done.

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Fandom: Sanders Sides

Characters: Virgil, Roman, Patton, Logan

Ships: Platonic Prinxiety, Romantic Roman/Patton/Logan

Prompt: “Wait a minute, you’re not the devil!” “True, I’m just the guy he hired to deal with emo brats like you who think selling your soul is a good idea.” - Virgil and Roman

Trigger Warnings: Angst, physical abuse of a kid - mentioned, smoke, demon dummoning, Virgil is a hust kiddo in need of a hug and love, tell me if I forgot something!

A/N: So, I underestimated my own capability to make something turn angsty. I’d thought this would just be a fun shirt drabble, but halfway through, I accidentally turned it angsty. I apologise for that. Hope you have a good read, though.

Word Count: 1123


You’re Not The Devil!

Keep reading

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The words “I love you,” mean nothing to me anymore because of you. Always saying it as a question after you’ve hurt me. Do you love me? Say you do. Say it.

No. I always thought I was a monster because I couldn’t love you. Its supposed to be natural loving your parent. But I never have and now I understand why.

I won’t feel guilty anymore.

I don’t love you.

I never will.

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russell barkley tells parents there’s nothing parents can do screw up their children short of acquired brain damage and that’s harmful and validates not-so-good people’s feelings

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How you all just stood and watched,

Silent, stoic, stones where hearts ought to beat,

Stood in dumb circles as he pelted her with rage,

ground down her very bones, flayed her soul in broad daylight

and in your silence echoed his abuse,

power reverberating like an ocean of applause,

It still rings in my ears when I see the crowds flock to their spectacles,

All but drowning in the saliva that drips from blunt fangs, ever starved eyes

hunting to gorge on the pain of some other,

With what tainted fetid blood did your palms meet

to bind your souls and conscience

That with a flick of his wrist you bathed him in roses and her in shame?

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I tried my best to get my ex boyfriend to understand my point of view but it’s just not worth it for his small mind anymore. I gave him everything from the moment we got together and him treating me with disrespect or unkindness just pushes me away further and further. It wasn’t until the last straw that made me so utterly mad. After all the shit he talked about his ex, he goes running back to her and i know they fucked… actions speaks louder than words. It just showed me what kind of fucked up, cheating, lying, two faced son of a fuck he is… I was reading this Leo fuckin horoscope group on Facebook and seen what he wrote.. all but fuckin lies and ego. SMH.

I’m “slowly but surely” getting over it as I am getting over him. Thinking about him disgusts me. And he messaged me again tryna do what all narcissists do, “love bombing”.. fuck that, all it is, is scripted fake love… like c'mon boy.. You just sound pathetic. And people even said to you… dont do things that would drive ur girl mad… and look what you have done.

I said my farewell and there is no need to try and get him to understand the shit I’ve been feeling and going through. Because its all about him and his small little fuckin mind

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Tw; physical abuse

I just found out my extremely abusive, sexist, homophobic, transphobic, and racist ex from high school had a baby

My friends are most likely right, it’s been 7 years and he has probably learned a lot; I was pretty bad in high school and learned better for sure - but never had the beliefs he had. Just tolerated them because he forced me to. Like he physically trapped me in the relationship. Let’s just say I spent a lot of time learning how to cover up black eyes. So I have a hard time believing that he could be slightly better now, especially after trying to “make him a better person” after 3 years. Never laid hands on the man once. Cheated on me 13 times. Literally. I’m still traumatized from the psychological and physical abuse he put me through. I still have nightmares about it

He wanted to be a cop.

He threw me out the door onto concrete. He hid in my closet for 3 days because he found out I talked to my middle school ex when he broke up with me for 2 months while he dated the person he cheated on me with. He punched me in the face until I called the guy; he forced me to call him a stupid little f*ggot bitch.

He would sneak into my house to beat me when he was mad.

My parents were abusive and I was forced to move in with him as a teenager. That only led to further abuse. I had to put up with it or I would have been a homeless teenager.

That’s not even the half of it.

This man just had a child. Got married to a girl he dated for 1/6 of the time we dated (we dated 3 years, he dated her for 6 months).

I’m so scared for his wife and kid…..

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Have you ever wondered where your pain comes from? Have you ever stared at that tall, dark ceiling above you late at night or early in the morning, unable to sleep, wondering what the fuck happened to make you feel the way that you do?

Have you ever dissociated yourself from yourself? Felt like the best way for you to exist was to fill all of the questions and confusion and trauma that was inside of you with background noise in the form of loud music, drinking with friends, partying, over exercise, starvation, sleep… disconnection?

I have had to confront many things over this lockdown. Being forced to live with my alcoholic and mentally abusive, toxic mother has forced me to visit traumatic experiences I lived out as a child as well as living out new ones. 

It has also forced me to be truthful with my Father. Of how he abandoned me when I was only 5 years old, leaving me to deal with not only an alcoholic abusive mother but also a newborn child (my little sister)

There is a lot of pain and trauma that I have had to revisit during this time. I don’t want any action that I have taken since this acknowledgment of self to be judged, but I understand people judge you regardless and so it is only natural for people to maybe never understand your point of view. They have never lived your life, love.

But I am writing this for all of those people… kids, adolescents, adults… whoever, who feel guilty for finally saying “NO” or “fuck you” to their abusive parents.

Let me tell you the most crucial lessons that I have learned in life.

1. You do not exist to fix your parents or their mistakes

2. You are not responsible for anything that they did when you were growing up, nor continue to do now

3. Being a daughter or a son does not reprimand you to a life of service

4. You do not have to feel guilty for any way you choose to deal with your trauma

5. Getting therapy is OKAY and to be honest VITAL in any traumatic or abusive situation you have found yourself in

6. Asking for help is not a weakness, it is a strength

7. You are not your parents

8. You have control and say in your current life and your future life

9. Dwelling in the past never gets you anywhere

10. You are never alone. There are always people you can talk to, no matter wtf you have been through

I know to a lot of people this will not resonate, but if there is even one person out there who reads this and does resonate, my inbox is open. Let’s get better, together <3

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