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sunderlust · 2 years

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this is me trying i (rooster x reader)

masterlist part 1 | part 2 | part 3 pairing: bradley 'rooster' bradshaw x reader synopsis: bradley bradshaw was the bane of your existence back at UVA - you practically burnt yourself out trying to outdo him. now, you’ve quit your big shot engineering job in search of something more meaningful - the wind blows you across the country and into fightertown, where a familiar, sandy haired jackass is crooning away at the stupid piano in some naval bar. And you’re not sure if you should wait for the next gust or plant your feet down. (enemies to lovers! angst! fluff! smut? lol) warnings: explicit language, mentions of alcohol consumption, later explicit sexual activity, lots of existential dread, no use of y/n note: once again huge shoutout to seasonsbloom and gretagerwigsmuse for beta-ing and inspiring some really good details and research. again these gals are incredible writers their input means the world to me and this fic wouldn't exist without them! plz check them out.

——

Oh, wouldn’t you just love to grab him by his big stupid balls and set him on fire.

There he is. Bradley Bradshaw. Playing piano in the middle of the Hard Deck - which you've now learned is some sort of Navy bar. You weren't one for theatrics (correction: you definitely were one for theatrics) - but you're convinced he's your arch nemesis. Ever since that first moment he sat next to you in Spanish 103 in your first semester at the University of Virginia, he's caused nothing but constant stress and mental turmoil.

And it's just like him to be at the center of attention in this naval bar, playing that same stupid song on the piano with everyone singing along and treating him like fucking royalty. He's no different than how he was in undergrad - just a little more built and now sporting a push broom on his upper lip. Idiot.

Freshman year at UVA. You showed up to SPA 103 as a hopeful computer science major with bright eyes and a can-do attitude. Already, you'd enjoyed your first data structures class earlier that day, and you were excited to explore the option of a Spanish minor as well; until a tall, sandy haired boy plopped down in the seat next to you with just a pencil behind his ear and a piece of paper he'd clearly grabbed from the printer tray last minute. Later in class, you had eagerly raised your hand to answer Señor Soto's question, and Bradley had the audacity to correct your pronunciation right after. And that was the beginning of an intense rivalry with Bradley Bradshaw. From then on, the two of you battled it out in every class you shared together - some of your Gen Eds and most of your Spanish classes given that he, too, was going for a Spanish minor.

It infuriated you to no end how easy classes came to him - you'd study your ass off for the Gen Chem exam and earn yourself a 95% only to catch a glimpse of Bradley's paper a row in front of you with a neatly circled 97%. You'd deliver a stellar presentation in your Spanish course on culture and cuisine - spoken flawlessly in the language - and Bradley would go out of his way to ask difficult questions just to make you stumble through an answer.

Most annoyingly of all, he was always the "cool guy" amongst all your mutual friends. Always breaking out in song if (god forbid) there was a piano, and pulling girls aside and making them giggle and never even sending a second glance your way (not that you wanted it). Although, there was that one time he had asked you to his frat formal. But you'd turned him down, knowing it was most definitely a hazing thing with how nervous and shaky he had been. As always, Bradley Bradshaw had a knack for making you feel small. Smaller than a tiny mouse.

Now, almost fifteen years later and he's sitting at that piano with adoring fans around and it’s almost like nothing’s changed at all. Well, nothing on his end. You, on the other hand, feel like a shell of your old self. You were lucky enough to land a lucrative new grad job offer as a software engineer from one of the most highly sought after companies on the east coast. But after working almost five years now at a well-known company in Raleigh, the days started blending together way too easily for you. And after one long commute home on a rainy Thursday evening, you had a huge revelation when you realized you couldn't even remember what you did that past Monday - aside from waking up, working out, going to the office, making dinner, and grinding out more work at your home office until you fell asleep. Was your career, your degree, worth such a sad, passive lifestyle?

With that, you quit your job. And right after that, you called up every last one of your connections in hope of finding someone who could help you figure out your next step. It was all dead ends - most of your friends' solutions were offering you the same exact position you had before, just at their company and wrapped up in shiny new job wrapping paper. But you weren't sure you wanted to go back. You couldn't. Not just yet.

Your saving grace came in the form of Camila - your old college roommate who was currently working as a data analyst with the US Navy in San Diego with their partner, Cher. The two had recently renovated their guest house, and upon hearing your predicament, Camila immediately invited you to take a sabbatical in Miramar. "You're kidding, right? If you hate your job, don't go back to it. Come stay here - our guest house is yours and we won't accept any rent from you. Just take it easy, girl. I'll say it now - you're fucking burnt out."

Within a flurry of days, you had quit your job, broken your lease, and flown over to San Diego to begin a new, uncertain chapter in your life. And in order to have something to do, you had picked up a barista job at a coffee shop starting in a few days. They'd asked you to take the early morning shifts during the week, which gave you plenty of time to collapse in the evenings into a puddle of existential dread in your new, fancy guest house that you now called home.

All that to say, you had no idea how long you were going to be stuck in this limbo for. Part of you was hoping you'd never have to find a way out of it - that you could remain suspended in this uncertainty for ages. Because as soon as you start planning for the future, a new wave of anxiety is bound to take over and stress you out unimaginably so, with hushed whispers of potential failure echoing through your brain. It's better to hide from the unknown than to try and combat it, at least for the time being.

Back in the bar, Camila leans forward to nearly shout in your ear. “I have to go pee!” they tell you, grabbing their bag and hopping off the barstool. They had insisted on taking you out for a drink at the Hard Deck before your first day at the coffee shop, but you regretted saying yes the moment you saw Bradley at the piano.

"Go piss, girl," you mutter in response, eyeing Bradley as he steps back from the piano with humble nods to his praise. He then makes his way over to the other side of the bar, and you can feel your blood pressure skyrocket. You focus on busying yourself with the straw in your glass and try hard not to make eye contact with the bane of your existence across the room. If you’re lucky, he won’t catch sight of you at all. Lord knows whether you can handle having to interact with him after almost such a long ti-

“I thought my eyes were deceiving me, but it’s really you! How's life, Buttercup?" Bradley easily squeezes into the empty chair next to you. He's wearing a signature toothy grin, accompanied by that mustache that he's somehow really pulling off (but you'll never admit that to him, or anyone for that matter). In addition, he's wearing a wife beater underneath an unbuttoned Hawaiian shirt that you're 100% certain he had back when the two of you were at UVA, but you remember it hanging more loosely around his chest and biceps. Not that you're looking.

Buttercup - jeez, it’s been years since that nickname was able to boil your blood instantaneously. Bradley coined it your sophomore year after a mutual friend's apartment party gave you access to unlimited tequila shots and a cheap karaoke machine that had the lamest song selection you'd ever seen. You don't remember much about that night, but Bradley's infamous nickname does a great job of reminding you that you still took it upon yourself to entertain the masses with your own a cappella rendition of Build Me Up Buttercup. Thankfully, it never caught on with your friends. But Bradley always knew how to milk a joke for way too long.

"Bradley," you answer curtly, taking a long sip of the melted remains of your drink; the straw gets stopped up with a stupid mint leaf. "Fancy seeing you."

"Whatcha doing on North Island?" he questions, sipping from his beer and sending you a mischievous side glance. "Last I heard you were down in Raleigh? Working for IBM or some other-"

"You keeping tabs on me, Bradshaw?" you interrupt, hoping desperately to wean him off the topic.

Bradley raises his eyebrows in amusement. "Word gets around. Seriously, you over here on vacation or something? Because the nicer tourist beaches are about 20 minutes north of here-"

"I'm about to start a new job," you rush out, stopping the rest of his jest right in its tracks. It's not a lie - your first shift at the coffee shop off of Orange Avenue is on Monday. "I'm staying with my friend Cam here for a bit during my time off, living in their guest house. Wanted to change up the scenery."

He doesn't need to know that you gave your two weeks notice on a whim in the middle of one of the busiest sprints ever for your team. He absolutely doesn't need to know that you have no idea what you're planning on doing with your life, that you're just hoping to stay still for the foreseeable future before you pluck up the courage to try something new.

“You're just treading water,” Camila had said to you. “There's nothing wrong with staying still and letting the tide take you where you need to go.”

Bradley bounces his head in a nod, still wearing those stupid sunglasses. "Well, welcome to Fightertown," he sends an easy grin your way.

You send a tight smile back. "What's going on in your life?" you ask. It pains your every nerve to try and feign interest in his life, but you power through for the sake of being polite.

"Ah y’know, this and that,” he says and waves a bartender over for another beer. “Another corona please, and whatever she’s having,” he holds his hand up to stop you from interjecting at him buying you a drink. “My treat, Buttercup. Anyways, I went to the naval academy after undergrad. Well- tried to." His face sours slightly. "Had some turbulence the first time around, but I enlisted."

“You’re in the Navy?” You ask dumbly, eyeing the rest of his friends behind him in their khakis and returning your gaze to his lack of uniform.

He chuckles. “Buttercup, did you keep any tabs on me at all?” The bartender returns with your drinks, setting Bradley's beer down in front of him and replacing your glass with a fresh minty gin and tonic.

You shrug and take a sip of your drink to hold off on responding. “I didn’t take you to be a sailor.”

Bradley lets out a hearty laugh that emanates from his chest and makes him catch onto the bar to keep from falling over. You're not sure what's so funny. “Sweetheart, I don’t drive the boats, I just land on them.” Your confused expression remains unchanged. “I’m a pilot. It's different from the Air Force - still part of the Navy. Like I said, we just land on boats in the middle of the ocean rather than land bases. Seriously, Buttercup, you didn’t figure this out from the naval air station on this island?”

He goes on, talking about various deployments and you are trying so hard to hide your growing annoyance at hearing him talk about his accomplishments. Yes, that makes you petty - you can blame it on the fact that you’re currently nursing your depression with your third gin and tonic of the night. “So what, should I call you Sergeant, then?”

His amused gaze never falters. "We don’t have Sergeants in the Navy. And I'm an officer - so that's Lieutenant Bradshaw to you,” he winks.

You nod your head slowly. "Amazing," you manage, feeling a pit form in your stomach that has nothing to do with the alcohol settling in. While you've been off on some crazy Eat, Pray, Love soul-searching adventure (minus the eat, minus the pray, and definitely minus the love), Bradley's more successful and popular as ever and living his best life. And you're not sure what else to say to that without letting on that you envy him, just as you always have.

"Well," he says after a few beats of silence. You shake yourself out of your thoughts. "It was great to see you - we should grab another drink while you're here! You're buying next time though, with your massive STEMinist paycheck and all," he chuckles. You try your best to hide your scowl - it almost sounds like he's mocking you. He drops a couple tens on the bar top and raises his beer bottle in your direction in farewell. "Take care, Buttercup. Hope you find... whatever it is you're looking for here."

Same old Bradley. Making you feel small. Smaller than a tiny mint leaf.

At the ass crack of 5AM on Monday, you start your first day at Java Roasters - and unlike the language, there is nothing functional about the shop’s operations. For starters, your mentor didn’t even know you were starting that day.

“Who are you?” A man with the name tag Todd looks over at you scrutinizingly. After you introduce yourself and pull up the long email chain with the manager on your phone detailing your employment details (as well as the confirmation that you were indeed starting today) - Todd takes a step back and bounces his head a few times, deliberating on what to do next.

"Yeah, Nancy mentioned something like this, I just wasn't sure how serious she was about me teaching you the ropes. I'm kidding!" he says, bustling around behind the counter to clear up some space. "Come behind here, I'll uh... show you around."

Todd walks you through some of the basics - where things are located, how to work the register, and where the brewed coffee was. Then, he decides to move onto the 'sinful art of drink crafting' - whatever the fuck that meant. “So here,” Todd spreads out a number of yellowed index cards with various recipes scrubbed on them in faded black ink. “By the end of this week, you’ll have all of these memorized!”

You look up at him with an unimpressed expression. He’s grinning and bobbing his head to some music that must be on a different frequency than the normal human hearing range, because it‘s completely dead silent in the shop. He stops suddenly and frantically looks down at his phone. “I, uh, I gotta take care of something out back. Don’t follow me! But uh, memorize these. Coffee’s already brewed over there.”

“Wait, what if someone comes in? I don’t know how to use these other machines-“

“You’ll be fine! It’s 6AM and we’ve just opened. No one comes in this early, not even the Navy guys. Pretty sure they’ve got their own shop on base. You’ve got this, kiddo!” He rushes the words out and disappears in a hurry. The door to the storeroom slams shut, and you're left alone to sit with the mess of note cards and the heavy smell of coffee beans. You sigh, praying that he won't take long and no one comes in-

The door swings open, the little bell over it tingling mockingly at you. Son of a bitch.

"Good morning!" you call out as cheerfully as you can, back turned as you survey the multiple recipe cards on the counter. Best case scenario, they order a large boring coffee and all you have to do is fill up from the already brewed coffee sitting on the back corner. Please, please be boring.

You turn around to face the customer. "What can I get... " you trail off, immediately recognizing the six-foot-nil mustachioed man in a Navy uniform (still currently sporting a fancy pair of Ray-Bans, might you add). "...You."

Rooster's eyes widen in surprise, eyebrows lifting over his shades.

"Buttercup?"

The familiar, stomach swooping anxiety descends upon you. This could not get any worse - not only are you stuck on this god forsaken island for who knows how long, but your arch nemesis is here and you're forced to take his order, make him coffee like you know how to, and do it all with a bright smile on your face.

Bradley's removed his shades now and he's looking at you with an incredulous expression, eyes darting down to examine your plain brown apron, then up to the name tag where Doug is scribbled messily. "You're working here now?"

You take a moment to compose yourself: regulate your breathing, banish the bad thoughts from your mind. You can go to the back room and cry the moment he steps out the door. No one has to know, least of all Todd. Fucking Todd.

"Yeah," you manage, taking a deep breath and plastering what you hope is a close match to your genuine smile on your face. "What can I get you?"

He looks up at the menu hanging on the wall behind you, furrowing his eyebrows at the tiny print. "Thought you said you were just here visiting?"

You shuffle your feet, crossing your ankles and holding onto the counter top for support. You're not sure you can handle having to explain to him the long version of your story. "Just taking a breather here for some time. As I'm between jobs."

He raises his eyebrows and nods slowly. “Okay. Uh… I guess I’ll have a cappuccino?”

Despite your best attempts to control it, your face falls, and you hurriedly turn around to try and locate the recipe card. “What size?” You try to keep your voice even and blink rapidly to keep frustrated tears from forming. This is humiliating. Stupid Todd probably dealing fucking pot in the back while you’re manning this ship all by yourself. Stupid Bradley ordering a fucking cappuccino like a pretentious dick.

“Um… small.” There’s no way you’ll ever admit to Bradley that you don’t know what you’re doing, so you continue searching through the cards. Briefly, you chance a glance back at Bradley. He's standing attentively, narrowed eyes trained on you with an unrecognizable expression written on his face. You turn back and start sifting through recipes faster.

“You know what,” Bradley says after a few seconds. You halt your movements to look over your shoulder again. He’s now looking down at his phone. “I have to head to base soon anyway - can you make that a small black coffee?”

You exhale in relief as quietly as you can - but you know your whole body relaxes immediately. For the first time ever in your life, you think thank God for Bradley Bradshaw.

“Sure,” you say and grab a small cup with a cardboard sleeve to fill up. “That’s, uh..." a quick glance up at the menu above tells you. "Two dollars.”

“Thanks, Buttercup,” he replies and you immediately scrunch your face in annoyance.

“Never gonna stop calling me that, huh?”

He shrugs shamelessly and laughs. “Feels like nothing's changed. You still make the same annoyed little face.”

“Definitely, nothing has changed,” you agree with a sigh. “You still take pleasure in annoying me so.” You snap a black lid on top of the drink and slide it over the counter. “Two bucks” you remind him.

He smiles easily and pulls a five out of his wallet, pushing it towards you and sliding his glasses back on his face. “Keep the change, Buttercup.” And with that, he raps his knuckles on the countertop and saunters out of the coffee shop with an annoying amount of swagger in his step. You eye the five dollar bill like it’s personally offended you, like it’s the reason you’re in this mess.

“Keep the change, Buttercup,” you mock aloud before gingerly plucking the bill and ringing up the sale in the cash register. What a fucking douche - you don’t need his stupid pity money and his smug attitude and his-

The door to the storeroom behind you opens up and Todd stumbles in, smelling very faintly of marijuana. “Alright. Did any customers come in?” He says, a goofy grin in place. You shake your head, not wanting to have to explain. “Excellent. Now let's start simple. Ever had a cappuccino?”

You're almost through a whole week at Java (you now affectionately call it). Once a different, less stoned employee named Britt comes in for her 10:30 shift, you have a much better time learning and picking things up. "Todd definitely doesn't know what he's doing," she had told you. "I don't know why you got stuck with him for training on your first day. Probably because he's the only one who offers to open up, but we all know it's so he can deal out back."

Britt's amazing - she takes one look at the mess of index cards and wrinkles her nose, choosing instead to walk you through making the drinks one by one and talking you through the similarities. You slowly start to get the hang of things, finally able to make a cappuccino without burning yourself on Thursday.

On Friday, Bradley Bradshaw comes sauntering in again at 6:10 AM with his stupid sunglasses and stupid mustache and stupid brilliant smile. As usual, Todd has left you to handle the first thirty minutes after opening by yourself. "Good morning, Buttercup!" he sings, pushing up his glasses and scanning the menu above your head.

You squint at him. "Hi. What can I get you?"

Bradley looks down at your apron, smile widening further when he sees your name neatly written on a clean, laminated name tag instead of Doug. "I see you're settled in."

You rock back on your heels, averting your eyes to look at anywhere but him. "Yep."

He bobs his head idly. "Small latte this time, please," he says, pulling his wallet out. "Piping hot too- Hey! You got any non-dairy shit? Milk makes my gut-"

"Bradley," you cut him off. "Seriously?"

He looks at you like he isn't being the most ridiculous man on North Island. "What? I need my caffeine!"

"What happened to just a regular black coffee?" you ask, still making your way over to the machines to prepare an espresso shot. "We have almond milk, but I'm not doing this extra hot bullshit. You have a Starbucks on base - go to them if you want to burn the roof of your mouth."

Bradley rolls his eyes and waves a hand dismissively as you begin heating up the milk. "They’re way overpriced. I figured you've had a week to warm up, wanted to come back here.”

You narrow your eyes, finishing off the rest of the drink with an abysmal attempt at a latte heart. Good. You don’t want to give him the wrong idea."What, so you took it easy on Monday and now you’re ready to really test me?"

He shakes his head defiantly. “No, no, I really was in a rush that day! But usually I like my drinks complicated - Todd once told me it’s all about the ‘sinful art of drink crafti’-“

“$5.60. And no ‘keep the change’ bs,” you tell him flatly, ringing up the sale and pushing the drink over to him. Bradley shakes his head in amusement and pulls a card out of his wallet instead of cash.

After he swipes his card, you pull the monitor back before he can choose a tip option (yeah, it’s petty to hold back on it, but it’s just one customer. And you don’t want to fuel his savior complex by letting him tip some egregious amount). Bradley hits you with a “See you around, Buttercup!” before exiting.

You bury your face in your hands.

—

On your weekend off, you binge the entirety of Stranger Things. Not just the newest season - you start right from episode one. You hadn't given yourself time to indulge in any movies or tv shows in the longest time, and after several awkward pauses in conversation with Britt and Todd regarding pop culture references, you took it upon yourself to educate yourself in your downtime (it also has the added benefit of keeping you from falling into a deep pit of depression).

Camila and Cher insist on having you over for dinner most nights during the week - you oblige under the one condition that you cook every now and again. It’s nice to have something social to look forward to in the evenings, and you’re especially happy to be reconnecting with Cam again. You lend an ear to Camila’s qualms about the sexist men at their job and a new hire that can’t seem to grasp the simple concept of pronouns, while the two of them listen to you recap your Stranger Things and Silver Linings Playbook thoughts, all your gripes about having to be in the same city as Rooster (“you’ve always given him such a hard time,” Cam had said to your unimpressed glare), and your deep-seated fear that you’ve made a horrible mistake quitting your job and working as a barista across the country. Typical easy dinner talk.

And it’s not like there’s anything wrong at all with being a barista. And it’s perfectly okay to be changing things up and taking a breather - Camila constantly reminds you that you’re just treading water, that a completely different job during the week might defog your brain. They're absolutely right.

But no matter how many times you tell yourself to just let things be, every night your fear of the unknown strikes deep anxiety in your heart. And every morning, you let the prospect of a new day wash away your worries, and take on your new life with determination.

You're treading water, floating in place in a peaceful ocean. You only hope no malicious rip current sweeps you by the ankles, drags you deeper, tears you away. Or like, a bird doesn’t shit on your face.

—

On Monday, your Bradley-free streak is tragically broken twelve minutes after Java opens at 6. This time, his request is an iced dirty chai latte - you vaguely remember making with Britt last week. You’re tempted to dump an extra scoop of ice into the drink when he interrupts your process with a cheeky “less ice, please!” Instead, you go a step higher on the petty scale and only toss in two ice cubes.

Unfortunately, Bradley finds your move to be downright hilarious as he chuckles the whole time while paying.

On Tuesday, he comes in to order a caramel macchiato - with a twist (the twist being a drizzle of chocolate syrup on top. That really should be an abomination).

After he pays, you spin around to busy yourself with the espresso machine to avoid being on the receiving end of his signature goodbye wink. But as soon as the door closes behind him, you turn back around and your eyes are immediately drawn to the tip jar that’s now five dollars richer. You scowl.

Wednesday, he's absent. And while you revel in your moments of peace, you still find yourself eying the door the whole time from 6 to 6:30. And even after that, but you tell yourself it’s just a matter of being vigilant.

Thursday, he’s back. And you have to say, it’s definitely your breaking point with Bradley’s most absurd request yet. “Hey sweetheart,” you’re not really digging the new nickname. “Can I do a large nonfat matcha latte with some caramel syrup and extra whip? Oh, I know you guys have almond milk but i was thinking of getting some soy action today-”

“Bradley,” you settle a very unimpressed glare on him. “What gives?”

He’s quiet for a minute - furrows his eyebrows in confusion with his hands on his hips. Then, he bursts out into laughter. “I’m sorry sweetheart, just wanted to give you a hard time.”

You level him with a hard stare. Same old Bradley, pulling the same shit he did in college. “You’ve been giving me a hard time. Seriously, are you trying to humiliate me? Is this some kind of sick joke-”

“What are you talking about? I figured it’s just some light hearted teasing between old friends-“

“We’re not friends,” you hiss, gripping the edge of the countertop until the wood digs into your palms uncomfortably. You’re barely containing your anger - it’s just like him to play things off like it’s nothing.

Because it’s important to note that no matter how standoffish you were, no matter how insistent you were on not even giving him the time of day, Bradley still treated you like you were old pals. He did in undergrad and he continues to do it now.

He cocks his head at you. “Wha- I mean… maybe not now, it’s been a while, but we were cool back at UVA!”

You bristle. “No, we weren’t. I hated you then - you made me miserable!”

Bradley’s amused smile drops. Oh fuck - yet another reason you resent Bradley Bradshaw: he’s mastered the Puss-in-Boots look. “You hated me?”

You wave your arms frantically in the air, trying to ignore the sinking feeling his sad expression gives you. “Of course I did! I - fuck! You beat me out in half of our classes, you gave me such a hard time during Spanish presentations, you asked me to formal as a joke. Need I go on?”

“Spanish presentations, I didn’t… what? Formal?” Bradley sputters. You sigh and clench your fists, landing your gaze firmly on the empty tip jar between the two of you.

“Bradley, even now you’re giving me such a fucking hard time just by ordering stupid little drinks that you probably dump the second you step out of here. And I can’t stand all these fucking jokes to just humiliate me and give me a hard time at this new job like you’re making a mockery o-or a fool out of me! Yeah, go on! Laugh it up at the failed engineer!”

Bradley’s mouth hangs slightly open in shock. “Wait, did Apple or whatever fire you or something?”

You feel your heart clench painfully as his words hit. Was it that easy for Bradley to assume there had to be some foul play in your career for you to be standing in front of him at a completely different job? After losing half of your academic battles, after losing the tour guide exec position to him (oh yeah, you still resented him for that, too), after every time he told you to loosen up and “get the stick out of your ass” during frat parties you had been unceremoniously dragged to by your friends - did he think - no, did he always secretly expect - that you were just destined for failure?

You feel small. Smaller than the stray coffee bean that’s sitting on the counter between you two.

Anger has always come easier to you than pain; you throw your hands up in the air and let out a loud groan of frustration. “Oh my fucking god! Bradley! I say this with the utmost sincerity: you were the bane of my existence at UVA. Quite possibly my arch enemy. We were never friends. And I’d really appreciate it if you’d quit making my life so miserable right now!”

He’s staring at you, completely slack jawed now. Then, he picks it up. His jaw muscle tenses slightly. “Fine,” he says tersely. “I’ll leave you be.”

And with that, he gives off a two fingered salute (the audacity, you think furiously to yourself), and makes his way towards the door.

Fuck Bradley Bradshaw.

—

part ii here

Note: full disclosure this fic is kinda inspired by the bs I'm going thru rn but I tried to make it as generic as possible - at the very least I think we all can relate to just pushing ourselves so hard and burning ourselves out and maybe stagnating at one point and wondering where the fuck are we gonna go now??

#rooster x reader #bradley bradshaw x reader #bradley rooster bradshaw #bradley rooster bradshaw x reader #topgun maverick #top gun maverick fanfiction #mine

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wisteriagoesvroom · 5 months

Text

unnecessarily specific headcanons for college!AU f1 drivers, part 2

part 1 available here

(and now with more gender diversity because it’s my AU and why not)

pierre

- major: entrepreneurship

- attending on a sports scholarship. is on the diving team

- birth name Pascale but she hates it, someone called her Pierre years ago as a joke (after the founder of the modern olympics) and it stuck

- met charles as a kid on a highscool exchange scuba diving trip and they’ve been best friends ever since

- has made a habit of introducing herself as “from Rouen, not Paris”, so much so that the rest of the gang groans and says it for her every time someone new arrives and she has to make an introduction

- has bars of chocolate stowed in random places. literally all sorts. it’s her bad habit. she and Lando become friends because she hoards good Belgian chocolate (“the real stuff not this Americane or Britishe nonsense”)

- got into a huge disagreement with max over a second year group project. people could hear the dispute from several rooms down in the library. they were called into the dean’s office and let off with a warning

- claims not to be a good cook but regularly bashes out amazing French home cuisine that has half the dorm in tears

- somehow also finds time to snowboard and run half marathons during summer and winter breaks

yuki

- major: he doesn’t go to the university but is in the city culinary school. he is Pierre’s friend and shows up on campus mostly on Fridays and weekends

- the origin story of their friendship changes all the time because they lie about it. it becomes a running gag and nobody knows the actual truth (the truth is they both swiped right on tinder in freshman year, but actually worked out to be better friends than a couple)

- disgusted by most campus food. will bring his own bentos to eat on the quad. can magic up dishes out of seemingly nothing. famous for a hack that somehow involves making omurice in a rice cooker. also does a killer savoury soufflé pancake, and deep fried chicken which the gang request every time they get too sloshed. Yuki obliges because he enjoys cooking for people

- actually enjoys anime but gets annoyed when people ask him about it or when people use weeby topics as a conversational opener with him

- learned English from stage-ing in local kitchens and thus swears like a sailor and knows cuss words in three additional languages (Spanish, Italian, French)

- scar on leg in shape of a cow from falling off a skateboard once

- everyone thinks he and Pierre have something going on but at this point it’s purely platonic

- will start a fight if drunk and people make fun of his height

lando

- major: psychology

- openly nonbinary

- performs well in their field of study but is determined to finish their degree so they can fully focus on their budding career in esports. esports alias is quadrant

- dyes their hair different colours constantly, depending on mood. had a phase where it was really orange when they were mad at an overwatch match that ended badly

- self-taught in three different instruments (guitar, piano, recorder for the shits and giggles). is a better DJ than charles and stops charles from taking the aux chord at parties to play his charlie sadboi mixes all the time

- best Instagram stories of the gang. somehow really well curated but authentic at the same time

- will do standup one day for kicks and absolutely murder the set, and then never touch it again

- shockingly good at the game twister. maybe was a gymnast in highschool but doesn’t like to talk about it possibly due to the gender trauma

- is a little bit abrasive and will tease/clown everybody for their shenanigans. but when shit hits the fan is the first person to show up with a big bowl of soup and some tissues and check if the other person is okay and “do you want to talk about it”

guan yu

- major: software engineering

- always seems on the cusp of some academic disaster but pulls through surprisingly well

- rides an e scooter around campus

- people think he’s in the architecture or design school because he always turns out immaculate fits

- is the person to ask everyone during study sessions if anyone wants bubble tea. (he wants bubble tea. he will order for everyone. he has a phone note with everyone’s favourite order. he judges charles for wanting a jasmine tea flavour but with milk. he will patiently explain to max what a bubble tea is, then it becomes one of max’s favourite drinks.)

- despite his academic ups and downs, already has unconditional offers from at least 3 Silicon Valley late-stage startups and all 4 Chinese big tech firms

- will one day do something so revolutionary with AI and visual design, like the next great CAD system or something, that he never has to work again

carla

- major: history of art

- many aliases. aka Carlita. Kylie. Kiki.

- THE it-girl on campus. manicure always immaculate and always in shades of red. boys (and girls, and even the TAs) always want to talk to her but are sooo intimidated

- always posting Instagram photos of her on a plane or holiday even though she’s studying in her room. never lets people know her next move

- people clown her for her major but she is actually really knowledgeable about art and takes it very seriously. her study notes are extremely organized, whether it’s her macbook or flashcards. she is in general good favour with the profs if she would only stop texting in seminars

- dad’s name is on one of the library wings. everyone realises this on the first day and she’s like “yes… i am a nepo baby. anyway where are we meeting later, i have an in with the promoters at this club if we want to go there”

- secret guilty pleasure is playing first person shooter games on her switch and absolutely decimating people. it is her outlet for aggression. she may also have beaten quadrant/lando at overwatch once but won’t tell anyone because playing overwatch messes with her party girl image

- starts a side hustle doing events and ten years after graduation will be extremely successful in this venture

- stress cries often but pulls it together. prone to scream-singing sad Spanish ballads when drunk. surprisingly knows every single word to a decade’s worth of Pitbull songs

#yukierre #pierre/yuki #pierre gasly #yuki tsunoda #carlos sainz #lando norris #f1 imagines #f1 fanfiction #formula 1 rpf #f1 rpf #f1 rpf fic #wisteriaHCs

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hot-take-tournament · 9 months

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one thing about the vocaloid take that really bothers me is how the submitter clearly knows nothing about the vocaloid scene. the quality vocal synths have improved So Much over the years, and with that, so many new producers have emerged with unique styles and takes on the classic vocaloid sound.

saying that vocaloids lack any distinct vocal techniques and sounds is just flat out wrong. if you take a look at any popular producer nowadays, they all have their own special way of tuning using different techniques. two different producers can make the same vocaloid sound extremely different, in the same way that any two composers will have a different way of arranging pieces for the piano, and every singer has a unique tone to their voice. one of my favorite examples of that is this video.

^ this song is an arrangement of a vocaloid song called ‘dance robot dance’, originally by nayutalieN, featuring 14 different vocaloid producers all covering the song with their own signature tuning. it shows so much creativity and is a clear example of how vocaloid music is not all repetitive.

it also completely ignores the fact that these producers are multitalented to the extreme. not only do they have to learn to compose music and play/tune a new instrument (because that’s what vocaloids ARE), but they also often write their own lyrics, make their own art and music videos (most common in smaller producers who may not even be getting PAID for their work and are doing it out pure love for the medium and creative passion), learn music software in order to mix their own songs, and oftentimes self-cover their own songs which requires vocal training and talent as well.

this person is acting like vocaloid is lifeless and bland, when it is really the exact opposite. people make vocaloid music because of their overwhelming love for the producers who came before them. it’s a community all about creativity and love, and oftentimes a way for people to find others they can relate to through music. a lot of vocaloid songs touch on topics of mental health, societal issues, and other heavier topics that people can find a sense of comfort in, and it has helped so many people. whether these stories are told through the form of a fairytale, or a down to earth explanation of how the writer is feeling, people can connect to them and continue the cycle by covering these songs and creating new ones for even more people to enjoy and relate to.

it can’t get much more human than that.

#asks #not a poll

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snailmail-codes · 1 year

Text

Introduction<3

I wanted to start this blog so I could track my progress of the materials I learn as well as to motivate me to really get into coding. I’m so focused on coding for college that i’ve never taken the time to explore programming on my own. So the purpose of this blog is to help me explore that by sharing my experiences.

About Me:

My name is Heather

Age: 21

Pronouns: she/her

I’m a college student studying computer science

Learning French (and maybe Spanish or German)

INFP

My Hobbies & Interests:

Making playlist on my spotify for every scenario & genre

Reading

Learning to cook/bake new recipes

Games (Roguelikes, sandbox, and indie games)

Plants

Learning the piano and guitar

What I Post:

I’ll be posting about my programming and coding journey throughout my uni/personal experiences then hopefully one day post my time as a software developer. I’ll post some hopefully useful resources, info, and such that can also help others. As well as codeblr/studyblr challenges. Mostly though i’ll be posting to motivate myself and be productive.

(I’ll probably post something off topic once in a while such as just general updates, a langblr post, or a new playlist I made.)

Goals:

These are my current long-term goals that I would like to achieve. I’ll post my more specific goals and their status in other post.

- Programming

HTML, CSS, JavaScript

Python

C++

Java

- Personal

Get accepted to an internship

Continue learning french

Become more involved with college activities

Get a job as a software developer

I also wanted to mention these accounts who inspired me to start this blog and expand my learning. 💚

@xiacodes @anndcodes @web-dev-with-bea

#about me #intro post #studyblr introduction #codeblr #studyblr #progblr #programming #computer science #code

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averytirednerd · 24 days

Note

I saw in your blog you do music stuff, what kind? cause I write and play, I wanna see what other people are up to ^^

Oooh, interesting question! Let’s see…

I play the trumpet (my beloved <3), piano, and acoustic guitar.

I can play some other brass instruments (tuba, euphonium, french horn, mellophone) but I don’t like…actively play them.

I’m also in the process of learning bass and electric guitar, and I hope to try out drums if I can get my hands on a drum kit.

Also also, I write sheet music (+ occasionally lyrics too) from time to time. It’s fun but sooo time consuming.

I would like to find a good piece of software that allows me to do all that digital stuff with music because it’d open up a whole new world of possibilities, so if you’ve got any suggestions… 👀

This was fun, thank you for asking! When given the chance, I will always talk about music, lol.

#answering asks #Lachlan rambles #music stuff #my post

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shimmerloid-ai · 1 month

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Preliminary Considerations - Which Vocal Synthesizer Software is Right for You? - Free Softwares

Although this blog puts a major emphasis on the VOCALOID 4 editor, it, or VOCALOID in general, is not the only vocal synthesizer that exists. There are tons of other software that have the same function and a variety of different voicebanks, with some being cheaper and of higher quality than VOCALOID, or even free! That’s right, there are quite a few free vocal synthesizers out there (however the lack of frills may come at the expense of some missing features or difficulty of usage), which I recommend trying out before pouring your hard-earned savings on a program that you may not even use. What if you learn that you do not enjoy tuning or do not have the time to use the software? It would be a huge waste of money that could be invested in other stuff, such as basic necessities (GOOD FOOD) or other leisurely items, like video games, clothing from your favourite bands, art supplies, or merchandise. In addition, there has been a rise of a lot of smaller companies coming out with vocal synthesizers with incredible UIs that not only look appealing but are easy to navigate, and voicebanks that sound far too human and advanced than hATsUnE mIKU (don’t worry, I love Miku with all my heart, I am just trying to prove a point here). There are also some really sick features that you may not find in the franchises with bigger names.

In this post, I will be describing the features of different free vocal synthesizers and their advantages and disadvantages so you can find the one that meets your vocalo-p needs. Please note, I do not own all of these synthesizers, some of these are from reviews on Reddit and VocaVerse Network. In addition, some cons like lag could just be a me problem and better computers may not experience such issues. Also , I will not be covering every single singing synthesizer in existence, just the well known ones and those with proper UIs because there are so many. I am omitting NEUTRINO because it does not have a UI despite having such high-quality vocals, along with ALTER/EGO, as it does not have a piano roll.

UTAU

(Song: Meltdown by iroha(sasaki); UST: Tanjiro Taidana)

UTAU was designed to be the free sister software to VOCALOID. Not only can you use it without spending a cent, but it allows you to make your own voicebank as well! There are tons of popular voicebanks out there, including the Vipperloids, Gahata Meiji, Kohaku Merry, Matsudappoiyo, Denatsu Sora, Shuu Mawaine, and my personal favourite, SUZU.

Pros:

Almost every single voicebank is free to download

Different types of voicebanks (CV, VCV, CCVC; Monopitch vs. Multipitch; Power, Weak, Soft, Whisper, Growl, Screamo; tons of languages)

Can make your own voicebank right in the software

Pitch bending on the piano roll instead of a parameter box!

Variety of job plugins to make usage easier

Credited for its growl and vibrato handling

Cons:

EXTREMELY dated, UTAU has not been updated since 2013

Not friendly for beginners, especially due to its old UI

Need to change your system's locale, and installing voicebanks can be frustrating

Most voicebanks (namely Japanese) can only read Hiragana phonemes and not Romaji ones; but job plug-ins can fix this issue

youtube

Open Utau

(Song: The Lost One's Weeping by neru; UST: Tanjiro Taidana)

If UTAU is the sister software to VOCALOID, then Open Utau is the younger sibling to normal UTAU. Open Utau is an open-sourced vocal synthesizer on GitHub with every feature in the original software while being easier to use.

Pros:

Dark mode with a sleek, easy-to-navigate UI!

Pitchbend with a click of a button; piano roll tuning is still consistent

Splice tool; useful for note-bending

No need to switch locale to Japanese

Easier to get the hang of

Frequent updates

Can use VSQXs and svps. without needing to convert them into USTs

Cons:

No Defoko…

Choppier and buggier than classic UTAU

Slow with rendering wav. files and launching the software

Phonemizers are tricky to work with, you don’t always get the same output as the same phonemizers in normal UTAU

External resamplers can cause overheating and slow down the software

Tuning is more dependent on job plugins than the original UTAU

Many users claim that otoing is easier in classic UTAU

youtube

SynthesizerV Studio Editor R1

(Song: Tengaku by Yuuyu; VSQx by Adam Edmond)

This preliminary edition of SynthesizerV was a major breakthrough for the vocal synth community when it was first released. With its realistic-sounding voicebanks and minimalistic aesthetic, this software has changed the game by a landslide for synth users. Although it's quite limited, R1 was an amazing start for what will become a godly program in the future. Pros:

Pitch bending on the piano roll and in the parameter box (very smooth, I experienced no lag when using it nor did I have to make pitch points or pause while editing the parameters)!

Voicebanks sound quite human

MIND BLOWING GLOTTAL EFFECTS (nine different growls, two screams, and a vocal fry that do not sound robotic!)!

Really simple UI, easy to pick up, great for beginners!

Cons:

Outdated; is no longer being updated by Dreamtonics

Needs a recording license for commercial use (though I highly doubt it is still being upheld)

Only four voicebanks are available; Eleanor Forte, Yamine Renri, GENBU, and AiKO - who is paid and an outdated version of her R2 voicebank (R2 versions of the same voicebanks sound much cleaner and realistic)

A little too minimalistic; aside from the addition of glottal effects and the typical pitch deviation, loudness, tension, breathiness, voicing, gender, and vibrato parameters, there is not all that much you can do in this edition of the editor

youtube

SynthesizerV Studio Basic

(Song: Antibeat by Deco* 27; UST: Mayu Sama Desu)

Also known as SynthV R2, this is the free edition of the software that is currently being updated, despite having fewer features than its complete, paid version.

Pros:

Ready to play with as soon as it is installed

Twenty-five free voicebanks; sixteen Japanese, seven English, and two Chinese; all with unique sounds

AI voicebanks!

Instant mode; allows you to automatically tune the pitch of an entire track with the press of a button, although it may make the voice sound too pitchy

Waveform that allows you to see the volume and pronunciation of certain notes

Can use paid voicebanks in the free editor!

Just as easy to figure out as SynthV R1!

Cons:

Can only have a maximum of three vocal tracks in a single svp. file

Pitch bending is a lot more finicky compared to SynthV R1

Lite voicebanks sound mono-pitch

Lacks a ton of features that are available in SynthesizerV Pro; scripts, auto-pitch tuning, rap vocals, cross-lingual synthesis, vocal modes, alternate phoneme choices, and many other features are not included in the basic edition (even paid voicebanks can not use cross-lingual synthesis, vocal modes, etc)

The glottal effects parameter that was in SynthV R1 is sadly not included in both the Basic and Pro editions of the current program

youtube

VoiSona

(Song: iNSaNiTY by Circus-P; VSQX: Cirty_09)

Previously named “CeVIO Pro”, VoiSona is a vocal synth that uses AI technology to create beautiful vocals with characters that originated from a variety of other vocal synthesizers (such as VOCALOID!) and are created with the recordings of talented singers and voice actors. CeVIO project has also launched a trial speech vocal synthesizer called “VoiSona Talk” for their first anniversary.

Pros:

Users get Chis-A’s full voicebank upon downloading the synthesizer!

The program itself is entirely free to download

AI technology makes tuning easier

Piano roll pitch-bending

Has some features that are missing in its sister software, CeVIO AI

The “husky” parameter is great for making whispers

Can be used as a VST plugin in most DAWs or a standalone editor

Cons:

All other voicebanks are paid; either you purchase the entire voicebank once, or get a subscription to use all of them

HEAVY LAG; the program is quite slow with processing commands

Free-hand pitch-bending is not as easy to perform compared to UTAU or SynthesizerV; can be quite sensitve and the AI may not always yield the desired result

youtube

DeepVocal

(Song: New Darling by MARETU; UST: Mimisan15)

The successor to the Sharpkey Galaxy software, this vocal synthesizer was designed for Chinese voicebanks. Its UI is a combination of VOCALOID4 and UTAU, giving it a sense of comfort and familiarity. Speaking of which, you can create your own voicebank in DeepVocal as you can in UTAU and OpenUtau, and there are some pre-made voicebanks of popular UTAUs, including Namine Ritsu, Inari Akane, and Kuro Bousuka. In addition, there is also a Kiana voicebank commissioned by MiHOYO and based on the protagonist of Gun Girls Z and Honkai Impact 3rd!

Pros:

Ready to use as soon as its out of the box

Great engine for Chinese voicebanks

Can create your own voicebank

Runs smoothly

Has all of the necessary parameters needed to create songs and covers

Cons:

Voicebanks can be kind of shaky, choppy, and more sensitive to pitch changes compared to other engines like UTAU and VOCALOID

Pitch bending can be quite clunky

Voicebanks may have difficulty reading certain phenomes from converted USTs; you may need to edit them if you don’t want lyrics being read as “a” or “ra”

youtube

These were all of the major free softwares I found, but if I come across another vocal synthesizer in the future, even if it is not talked about in the vocal synth community much, I may make a post about it.

I know there are a ton of cons I found for much of the vocal synths on this list and they sound like nitpicks on my part, but as I stated at the start of this post, some of these issues could be a Shimmer Thing™ and they may not arise for you when using these softwares. I won't be surprised if you read through this post and are now feeling thrown off by the various features and pros and cons of these programs, so here's my two cents on what I think beginners should go for:

If you like realistic voicebanks and want a very simple software to start with, get either SynthesizerV Editot (R1) or SynthesizerV Studio Basic (R2). If you would like to experience them (spicy) glottal effects and very kind pitchbending (like it does not make you want to bash your head against the wall because Renri won't cooperate) along with unlimited vocal tracks, then try out R1, and if you want more features, voicebanks, and continous updates, go for R2. Or even better, try out both and decide which one suits your interests better.

If you have a preference for robotic voicebanks, would like a variety of vocals to play with, and find plug-ins interesting, then UTAU may be for you, especially if you want VOCALOID but you can not afford it at the moment. Although I shitted more on Open Utau than I did on regular UTAU, I recommend the former over the latter as it is still being updated and the UI is signifcantly easier to navigate, along with its phenomenal pitchbending function.

Finally, please take my words with a grain of salt. If you like the voicebanks or are interested in a specific software, or discover one that is even better than any of the listed vocal synthesizers, by all means, go for it! This is just a surface guide by an idiot who spends most of their time trying to make Fukase not sound like a computer dying, and I have not used any of these softwares as much as I have messed with VOCALOID. Plus, my computer is an absolute bitch, so you guys will probably have much better luck than me.

I hope this guide was of use and provided a better insight on the various engines out there. My next post will compare different paid vocal synthesizers, including CeVIO AI, Piapro Studio, and of course, the various VOCALOID softwares. Don't worry, I'll get to the actual tutorial bit very soon.

Also, feel free to ask any questions about vocal synthesizers, or... literally anything! I'm practically starved for asks-

Thanks for reading!

#long post #vocal synth #vocalop #utau #synthesizer v #vsynth #open utau #synthv #deepvocal #voisona #chis a #kasane teto #eleanor forte #tanjiro taidana #vocal synthesizers #vocaloid #vocaloid resource #i know this is long im sorry for wasting your time

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