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nebulaafterdark · 5 months
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Exile (Part 3)
Summary: Y/N Undersee thought the games were over after becoming a victor. Unfortunately, life outside the arena has become just as dangerous. Prequel to Moves & Countermoves
Trigger warning: forced prostitution, explicit sexual content, alcohol abuse and other mentions of trauma. 18+ ONLY
Part 2
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Days turn into weeks and they fall into a routine. Y/N and Haymitch lead different lives for the most part. He likes to stay in, she needs to go out. To see people. To prove to herself that the world didn’t actually change, only she did.
“My father wants you to come over for dinner.” Y/N tells her husband, upon her return from town.
“He wants me?” Haymitch frowns.
“Well, it’s a family dinner,” Y/N shrugs. “You haven’t really met my family.”
“I know your family.”
“I didn’t mean…” Maysilee.
“You said your mother struggles,” Haymitch remembers their conversations. Every word she’s ever said. “I don’t think it’s a good idea for her to see me.” The boy who won, the year her little sister died.
“My dad wouldn’t have asked if he thought it would be too much for her. He’s very protective of my mother.” Sometimes at the expense of his own daughters. “It would mean a lot to me.”
“Fine.” Haymitch takes a long swig from his glass. “We can play happy family, why not?”
“I don’t want you to feel like you have to put on a show. Just be yourself.”
“If I didn’t know any better I’d almost think you like me.” Haymitch smirks.
“Good thing you know better.” Y/N grins, turning away from him.
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“Well, Haymitch, it’s good to see you again.” Mayor Undersee claps the other man on the back as he steps over the threshold into Y/N’s childhood home.
“Nice to see you too.” Haymitch forces a smile.
“Please, come in and make yourself comfortable at the table. Dinner will be served momentarily.”
Y/N gives Haymitch’s hand a squeeze, kissing her father’s cheek, in greeting, before leading him deeper into the house. If Haymitch could even call it a house. More like a mansion, similar to the ones they occupy in victor’s village.
Madge and Mrs. Undersee are waiting for them at the dinner table. The girl glares up at him from her seat. She’s younger than Maysilee was, when Haymitch met her in the arena, but it’s still like seeing a ghost. It hurts to look at her.
“Madge pie, this is Haymitch.” Y/N smiles at her little sister.
“I know who he is.” Madge bites out. Y/N never had many nice things about him, until a few weeks ago when she up and married him.
“Y/N talks about you all the time.” Haymitch tells Madge. “All good things.”
Madge scowls, and says nothing.
“I understand that this is confusing for you. I know he and I don’t have the best track record.” Y/N sighs. “But what I need you to know is that Haymitch is good to me; he’s so good to me and he’s…important to me.”
Haymitch stares at Y/N, snapping his mouth shut as Madge huffs, but agrees to drop the subject.
He was important to her? Haymitch stews on it, through dinner. He couldn’t be important to her, he isn’t good enough. It’s his fault they’re in this mess to begin with.
But Y/N seems…happy. Happy with him and her family all together. Happy to make him part of her family.
Perhaps things have changed for her too.
The Undersees are nice enough, but they make Haymitch long for his own family. To have people he could bring her home to meet. His mother would’ve loved her. His little brother. His father was a man of few words, even still, Haymitch is sure Y/N could’ve pulled a smile from him.
When they are stuffed from their meal, the table disbands. Waving Y/N and Haymitch goodbye, from the doorway.
The victors set off, back to their village. Their foot steps falling in tandem atop the melting snow.
“I think they like you.” Y/N says, after a moment of silence.
“Your kid sister wants to string me up.” Haymitch chuckles.
“Madge will come around. She just needs time.”
Haymitch nods. “Well, they invited me for an encore next week. So at least there’s that.”
“You can tell them no, you know?” Y/N reminds him.
He shrugs, “happy wife, happy life.” You’re important to me too.
They manage to make it home, to the new couch in the foyer, before they’re a mess of lips, tongues and wandered hands.
“I want you.” Y/N breathes, staring up at him above her.
“You have me.” Haymitch assures her.
“Please?” She is prepared to beg. Because surely that wasn’t allowed.
They haven’t…not since their wedding night. Never just for them. Never just because they wanted to. Mostly, they exchanged a few words and then did this; kisses and heavy petting.
“Angel,” he sighs. She couldn’t possibly want that, she must want comfort and to be close to him. “This is enough, I’ll stay right here.” With her legs wrapped around him like a vice. “We don’t have to do anything else.” He nuzzles her nose.
“I want to. Just for us. Unless you don’t-”
“Oh believe me, I want.” His cock is hard and pulsing between them. “But only if you’re sure.”
Y/N nods. “I’m sure.”
Haymitch kisses her then, letting her set the pace. Their clothing hits the floor and Y/N keens as he slips a hand between them. She’s so wet.
“Please.”
“Anything you want, anything you need.” Haymitch murmurs, lining himself up with her entrance and easing inside.
“Fuck,” Y/N says. He angles her hips upward, hitting that spot with each pass.
“Is that all you want, angel?” He hums, cupping her breast in his hand. “I’ll keep you full of me and make you cum until you can’t think straight. Is that what you want?”
Y/N nods.
“Oh, sweet girl,” he all but growls. Leaning back on his heels, driving into her faster. “I want that too.”
He can’t avoid her like this, or feign a shred of indifference. All he can do is love her and love her and love her. Fuck, how he loves her. Even though he isn’t supposed to, even if he’ll only admit it to himself when he’s balls deep. Haymitch is in love. In sinking, festering, all consuming, inconvenient, love.
Y/N kisses him reverently, because Haymitch makes her feel things. He’s one of the few people who can, after the games. Like parts of her went numb in the arena. She feels nothing at all. But he sets her ablaze. Sometimes with rage, other times with passion, but she’s never felt this way about anyone before.
It is real, so very real.
The coil in her belly goes hot, impossibly tight. What is he doing to her? “I-” she begins to protest. “Uh!”
“You’re ok.” Haymitch assures her, pressing his hand to her lower belly, adding to the sensation.
“Oh god,” Y/N gasps. It’s unlike anything she’s ever felt before. Building and building… “Haymitch!” She claws at his forearms, in warning.
A rush of wetness greets him. Her cheeks heat up, but Haymitch won’t allow her to be embarrassed. “I want you all over me- make you cum on every piece of furniture in this damn house.”
Y/N whines, lost in him. His words, his touch, his eyes, boring into her soul as he ruins her. Until there is nothing left but him. All of him and all of her, splayed out for the other to see.
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Things are different after that. Haymitch becomes very…attentive. Bringing Y/N little gifts. Anything from books he found at the hob, to flowers he’d found growing around the back of their house.
Because it has become theirs now, not just his. Little pieces of her are everywhere, twining themselves into his DNA.
Y/N takes an interest in fixing his favorite meals, watching his face light up.
“Went down to the hob today.” Haymitch tells her, lying his latest offering on the dinner table.
Y/N turns away from her pot on the stove, flipping the burner off. “Oh?”
“Funny enough, they asked about you.”
“Haymitch-”
“Whatever you’re doing down there,” supplying them with things to sell, bringing money back into the district, “is grounds for execution. Even for a victor.” Haymitch reminds her. “So you’re gonna stop doing it.”
“I can’t stop, Haymitch. Those people, our people, they need that money. They’re starving!”
“I’m taking over. You supply the goods, I’ll pitch in some things of my own. But you stay away from the hob. Peacekeepers can’t see you there, nobody can see you there.” Haymitch continues.
“I’ve been doing this for years.” Since before the games. “I haven’t been caught.”
“You got lucky.” He reasons, “or maybe you didn’t.”
“What?”
“What are the odds that the mayor’s daughter gets her name called at the reaping? You didn’t have to take tesserae, so your name was in there once? That’s some incredibly bad luck on your part. Or maybe somebody did know that you were trying to help the people in the seam.” Haymitch lifts a shoulder.
“My aunt’s name was in there once. Just one time. It can happen and it does.” Y/N crosses both arms over her chest.
“Look, I don’t want to fight. I know this is important to you, but I can’t have you there. It’s too much of a risk. I’ll be the middle man.”
“Fine,” Y/N sighs. Reaching down for his glass and taking a swig. The liquid is foul, burning her nostrils and throat, causing her to sputter and gag. “Is that fucking rubbing alcohol?”
“That’s the hard stuff, angel.” Haymitch claps his hand against her back as she continues her coughing fit. “Should’ve started off with wine or champagne.” Something sweet for his sweet girl.
“It tastes different when…” Y/N’s eyes dart to his lips. “When it’s on you.”
“Interesting,” Haymitch muses. Suddenly he’s having her for dinner.
Part 4
Taglist: @spideysimpossiblegirl @ancientbeing10 @1-800-styles @l3xi3luv @lam-ila
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wistfulweaverwoman · 1 month
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💌
thank you for the ask anon!!
💌share something with us about an up-and-coming work (WIP) that has you excited!
Here's a bit from the next chapter of The Apothecary's Daughter, but fair warning, it's raw and unedited:
After, we lay tangled, clutching each other. We still haven’t spoken a word to each other, not in three days. My cheek presses against  his chest. Listening to the wild beating of his heart I speculate if this is how we will survive; avoiding the other during the day, only to collide together within the sanctuary of night. The warm late morning light is pouring through the threadbare window coverings when I stir, alone. While I know it’s for the better, I can’t help the disappointment that I’m not supposed to feel. I know I should be relieved that he seems to understand my position. I’m not. Instead I long to see his bright smile and the eager glint in his eye.  For far too long I stay abed, languishing in self pity. It’s only the rumbling of my belly that forces me upright. There is no plate of food waiting for me, but another marriage basket, the cloth still tucked close over the food. Within are several brown paper wrapped bundles of beef from the butcher, a fine cheese, butter, a bottle of cream and a pint of strawberries from the grocer, and good bakery bread and a pie from the bakery. I am almost certain this basket came from Madge. The hamper is heavy and I have to rest it against my hip as I make my way down the stairs into the shadowy cellar. It’s small for the size of the house, but there are several doors, indicating it’s much bigger than it appears. I heft the basket on to a table in the middle of the room and spy the wedding cake under a glass cloche.  Bringing the whole platter back upstairs, I cut myself a slice. While it still seems moist, it tastes like ash in my mouth, each bite sticking in my throat. Every forkful reminds me of what I could have had. I don’t know why I continue to force myself to eat. I tell myself it wouldn’t do to waste food, but that’s not why. By the time I’ve managed to swallow every bite I’m sobbing.  As I set the kettles to boil I’m still weeping, though I can’t pinpoint why and attribute it to a general melancholy. I wash what I can reach in the dining and sitting rooms, shifting the furniture around that might still be usable as I scrub the floors, the tears finally fading with the activity. A sofa,  with springs sprouting like mushrooms from its cushions is too heavy for me to move outside alone and I eye it every now and then, wondering how difficult it might be to fix.
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thanksforthedinosaur · 5 months
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december 2023
brye - recover
addison grace - pessimistic
ixaras - sprouts
rosie tucker - unending bliss
hana eid - between your teeth
marika hackman - slime
katy kirby - table
michelle - agnostic
klee - mutual symbiotic relationship
tinyumbrellas - zombies
madds buckley - paper and ink
rainbow frog biscuits - clean
julia cooper - sweet n sour
bel - read the room
holly humberstone - lauren
elio - sorority
devon again - still can't dress myself
savana santos - idk the title of this cause i’m not calling it ‘vibin’
exxy - afternoon depression
king mala - bug
emei - 711
towa bird - drain me!
lia lia - angst
madge - tall grass
zoe ko - baby teeth
ko aka koala - sorry in advance
griff - vertigo
chloe george - outward
dounia - space (528hz)
quinn xcii - georgia peach
emily vaughn - invented it
misha - keep on
julia wolf - burning house (i wanna kiss you)
raffaella - rowan
searows - collector
laura veirs - swan dive
madilyn mei - cryptid
isabel pless - practice erotic
gregory and the hawk - for now
sun june - get enough
alice phoebe lou - shine
eliza mclamb - anything you want
the beatles - now and then
penelope scott - over the moon
meljii - frog and toad
savoir adore - when it rains
mini trees - push and pull
blond in car - short hello and a long goodbye
hazel english - heartbreaker
ellis - forever
middle kids - dramamine
ian sweet - emergency contact
drizzly. - bitter to see you
pearly drops - get well
los campesinos! - avocado, baby
hovvdy - jean
chloë doucet - stormy blue
momma - sunday
pony - peach
time spent driving - milligrams
hot mulligan - shouldn’t have a leg hole but i do
teenage halloween - lights out
weakened friends - awkward
blink-182 - anthem part 3
nai harvest - missing summer
awakebutstillinbed - adapt
alkaline trio - blood, hair, and eyeballs
tigers jaw - constant headache
eyedress - separate ways (feat. the marías)
sunmi - 덕질 (call my name)
oohyo - i give you love
yaeji - easy breezy
sumin - human theater (feat.sunwoojunga)
baek a yeon - lime (i'm so) (english ver.)
seventeen - god of music
talitha. - apple pie
slayyyter - makeup (feat. lolo zouaï)
tkay maidza - out of luck
satica - show up
loony - counting thunder
kennie - cool with your girlfriend
trella - taxi driver
aurora - your blood
perc%nt - roller coaster
caroline polachek - dang
vtss - steady pace
vacationer - resemblance
tusks - artifical flame
alaina castillo - running water
venbee - messy in heaven
ivri - inversion
nia archives - that's tha way life goes
juliet ivy - bestfriend
piri - bluetooth
pinkpantheress - another life (feat. rema)
elley duhé - reborn
baby tate - lollipop
l.ucas - l(in)ve
love-sadkid - out of body
r u off - jordan
enny - charge it remix (feat. smino)
sampha - suspended
mxmtoon - cliché - revisited
emhahee - time travel
august greenwood - taroko
laufey - from the start
sushisingz - dissociated
tiffi - lucky (bonus track)
justin nozuka - twyn https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3iyQUu7rpOvkTdnW8pOuaF?si=c887c6eeb415481a
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phtalogreenpoison · 10 months
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MBS WIP! part 4 folks!
And while Milligan does come to the conclusion that he really likes Moocho, he decides that he wants what is best for Kate first, which first means focusing on his relationship with his daughter and THEN working on a romantic relationship.  (and obviously Moocho would agree to this too and is just a huge green flag for the both of them 😊)  So he’s relatively worked out this crisis and has a plan for how to approach this, but then he worries again like oh no what if my daughter is homophobic because of just general society in early 2000s and 2010s, here specifically in 2009-2010 for between the first adventure and The Perilous Journey (as myself someone who is very queer and was at the time homophobic because I was a child who absorbed all the shame and religious and societal guilt surrounding queerness).  So because he wants to check, and perhaps broaden Kate’s perspective because he knows she is a very accepting and loving kid, Milligan discreetly talks to Moocho who responds to all these convoluted fears with a simple, “nah the circus was gay as hell no way is she uncomfortable with that.”  While Milligan realizes he may have overthought this, he still resolves to answer any lingering questions for her about sexuality because he wants to be there for her as she discovers herself and wants to teach her to be open and supportive, whether that is towards herself or others.
So after getting advice from Moocho (yet again), Milligan gives Kate the talk (this is all happening in the six or so months to a year after they’re all reunited and they’re settling down by the way, so in between books 1 and 2).  I think it’s hilarious that it keeps cropping up that whenever Milligan doesn’t know what to do as a parent, he asks Moocho’s opinion.  This is not in a pressuring way, he just cares what Moocho thinks as they’re pretty much co-parenting Kate at this point. 😊
Finally, Milligan talks to Kate, and she of course is like ugh awkward, especially because come on, she’s like 13-14 in this, she already KNOWs, but being herself, she does find it practical.  (There’s also a quiet part of her that starts to warm up because it’s something A Parent does for their kid, and she gets that now too.)  And she really likes being a girl!  But sometimes she wants to be something more… like just a person? Just a performer? Someone who’s capable and looked at for their talents, not their gender?  Cue confused Milligan noises, as he was prepared to look into sexuality stuff, but not gender because that just didn’t cross his mind at the time he was planning this. Though if he thinks back, he does remember one time he met someone openly trans while training for his job, and he also remembered Moocho mentioning someone more androgynous.  So they do the research as a family!  Both into nonbinary identities, particularly genderqueer and gender nonconforming (what would later be known as demigirl because that term was first used in 2010), and what Kate eventually settles on for the time being is she/they, they/she, they/them, or she/her as her pronouns!  Of course, it’s a growing process, but they totally all bond because of this.  There are many late nights of hot cocoa or apple pie over which these discussions occur, with Moocho falling asleep on the couch every time while Milligan and Kate are still wide awake chatting.
ALSO unrelated, but Milligan and Moocho totally plot together to get Kate her falcon Madge because Obviously they are discussing presents for her birthday (or missed birthdays 🥺) and they want to be the Cool Dads TM.  Moocho knows Kate has her license, and Milligan has a contact who connects him to a falconer.  Perhaps Madge was initially injured as a chick, but was nursed back to health, but became slightly too tamed to be released into the wild.  SO, Madge is the perfect bird for Kate to care for because they have the space, time, and knowledge available to take care of Her Majesty the Queen. :)
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deaneverafter · 2 years
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Flesh and Blood
Intial reaction:
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More coherent reactions to follow 🤣
I really loved seeing a little bit of Beau on his day off, literally the cutest 🥺💟
Something I really love is the small moments they have to show how much he cares about protecting and helping people. It isn't just about the mystery or the case, at the core, it's about people. The way he got so mad that someone got stabbed, he took that personally, and that's just another reason I love him, it shows how much he's really concerned and caring about everyone. And this, this is his town now, and he's going to do everything in his power to protect its residents 🥺💘
I also loved seeing him take charge. He came in, so immediately organizing the operation, and it was a subtle thing, but how smoothly things ran, I just love seeing more of how effectively he's been running the department. Clearly, he was on his way to places before the Event™️ in Texas took place, he is incredibly good at his job 💯
Another thing that was done particularly well was the chase scene, I absolutely love how they combined an action scene, with Beau on a motorcycle, with him using his observational and investigative skills, to catch the perpetrator. I love a multitalented Sheriff 💘🥰😌👏🏻
Another thing that struck me. The moment in the bar when he says "All relationships have to be a two-way street. Even blood. Maybe especially blood." Babe- 💔😭 Please let this be the moment Beau starts to realize he doesn't have to run after people who don't care, that if they want to be his family, they have to put effort in too.
Every episode I think I love him as much as I could, and then every next episode, I love him even more ♥️ He's so kind and caring, thoughtful and funny, intelligent and competent, and the handsomest man to have ever walked on the face of this earth. That's it, it's over for the girlies. It's me, I'm girlies (but, dare one hope, it's also Jenny Hoyt?) 💘
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Let's talk about Beau and Jenny this episode. I have so many thoughts and feelings!
Jenny's cute little smile when Beau called her, it was subtle but it was there and it made me so happy 🥺💕 (before she found out there was trouble 😱)
One of my favourite moments, the way Beau told Jenny that it was going to be okay is so sweet 🥺 And how he manages to make her smile when she's sick with worry says so much, as does the fact that she let her walls down enough to ask him for reassurance and comfort, even if indirectly, asked him to tell her that the deputy would be okay 💓
Their hug was so beautiful and wholesome (and also, a little bit intense 👀) 💘🥺 How he leaned down and enveloped her in his arms, his sturdy support, how she clung to him and her little smile, and how his arms stayed around her and lingered, a moment longer of support, his hand trailing down her arm before letting go 🥰😌 (as if he didn't want to let go). Let them be together already! My heart literally skipped a beat that scene, they are everything 🥺💘
These two would've just stood there holding on to each other if Madge hadn't shown up, and I just love that for them and I love that for us 🤗🤣
Madge @ Beau and Jenny:
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You know what else I want? A scene of the other police officers at the precinct like, taking bets, slipping money in the hallways, putting down money on how long before these two get together, because everyone can see there's something there 🥺💝🤣👌🏻
You guys know what the cutest thing is? How ever since Beau has been in the picture, his vocab rubbed off on Jenny, and now she calls the deputy "Pop" too ☺️
Beau and Jenny pranking Deputy Pot Pie together, can they get any cuter?! 🤗🥺 And I adore how in sync and in touch with each other they are. She literally started a mini prank, unplanned, and he just caught on and went with it 🥺💖
The way Beau is looking at Jenny just before asking her if she's okay, you cannot tell me he isn't feeling something tugging at his heartstrings 💓 Complete and utter adoration is the only way I have to describe how Beau is looking at Jenny here 🥰🥺💕💖
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Another thing I loved and is so soft is how Beau is so aware of Jenny and her emotional landscape, that he asks her how she's doing, even though it means a certain level of vulnerability, for her sake 🥺 And I love that Jenny let Beau in, shared her feelings, and he knew exactly what she needed in that moment, a lighthearted joke about robbing a bank, to ease the tension, before genuinely reassuring her 🥺💟
I feel so terrible, she's been hurt so many times over and over again, and this latest time, it's her mother again 😭💔 But I also love that this is something that's being explored, and I love that she's allowed to have feelings without being seen as weak, that she can be a badass, take down the bad guys, be a fighter, and still be shown to have feelings, show vulnerability and let people in, that neither cancels out the other, that feeling isn't seen as synonymous with being weak. This is how you show female characters who are strong and caring and wonderful and real. And so very human.
"I hate it when you do that," said she, with the utmost love in her eyes 🥺💖
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And him stuttering at her compliment 💝 They're so sweet and perfect, they belong together 🥺
We saw Jenny teasing Cassie about Cormac, now girls' night where Cassie returns the favour and interrogates Jenny about Beau happening W H E N ?
Speaking of which.... Cassie and Cormac's chemistry just gets more and more intense, and I'm so excited to see where things are going to go!
And Mark, poor backpacker. He didn't just get run off the hill and then spend a day in agony, before finally it ended. That all happened, and then his body got buried, unmarked in the forest and then dug up again, and then randomly left out for the vultures 😭
At the campsite, Donno & Tonya going undercover for their illegal activities, *chef's kiss*. I love that I first got my Sheriffs OTP undercover and all over each other "for the op", and now I'm getting my other ship also undercover, bickering like an actual married couple 🤣
Carla and Emily flaunt Avery's money in front of Beau to embarrass him, is what I've gathered from the motorcycle scene 😒 And the fact that he feels like the only way he can be worthy to his daughter and make her happy is by buying her expensive gifts shows exactly how much she loves him 😒 And can Emily [Insert Avery's undisclosed last name here] get any more obnoxious? It's looking like an exponential growth, with no limit in sight. And her mother 🤦🏻‍♀️ "We can call Beau". Um, go away, Carla 🙄 You already left him and broke his heart, leave him alone now. And she really said, let's possibly sacrifice Beau in order to satisfy Emily's curiosity about where Paige is. Truly, I cannot stand this woman 😒
Walter and Paige, I have to be honest, I think it could be an interesting and very, very creepy and very appropriately messed up situation to throw Stockholm Syndrome into the mix 🤔👀
Sunny, last episode, I really thought she'd one day end up killing Buck. Now, I don't know, it might end up being Walter. But, it might also end up being Sunny and Walt killing Buck together. Mommy and Me killing team 😱🔪
Here's to flesh and blood then 🥂 And maybe here's also to recognizing that sometimes, it can be your downfall 😥😨
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sylvieeee5 · 1 year
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it's finally time...
for episode 3!!!
please pardon my lateness- I had family over last week, and then I got the second booster shot and it knocked me out for a couple days!
But we're BACKKKK
And here's a Sonic for your troubles :)
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Oh! And if you'd like to support my poor time management skills, I would greatly appreciate if you'd consider donating to my Kofi! haha. i'm. broke
!Warning!! Book/show spoilers ahead!
1:27
"Welp, guess they jumped overboard. Alright, back to dinner, everyone!"
2:38
How'd you get that figure? Did Kate tell you?
"Alright gang, stay calm, we don't want them to hear us. By the way, we're 120 feet over the ocean, so uh... don't look down."
2:47
Down? Shouldn't you have gone up??
3:12
...do you think constance has a evil plan pre-formed in case she ever decides to go rogue?
3:17
she hopped on the ruse train :)
y'all ever hear a good word and decide hm! nice word! i will use it Always from now on
3:47
what do you mean
4:55
Number Two's plan B is biological warfare!! love that for her
5:00
HDSGDJWAKYGASYDGAKDAGK
5:43
I think you can be as judgmental as you want when it comes to his second mind control scheme in as many years
6:12
fambly,,,
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6:25
ahahahaaaaaaaa
ha
7:07
UNBOTHERED Q UE E N
8:08
????????????????????
noland HUH
8:20
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babies-
9:05
JKUCAKYCAIUCKUICQHWXKKHGAJCSH DACAJHSHASGSAASU
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constance wants a taste
9:59
gambling montage hell yeah!!
10:27
смерть или слава.
i absolutely love that they made her russian vsjdaskdf
11:45
GIRLBOSS
i know nothing about gambling so that was. interesting to watch with no context jasfkjs
11:58
please let the pie truck be connected to moocho in some way please pl
12:41
"I'm highly concerned about the lion in this cave. Oh, what's that? I've stumbled upon a pile of meat and am being invited to sit on it? Well, why not?"
12:54
no it ain't, nathaniel
13:57
roll credits kinda!
14:20
YES TRUEEEE
impromptu parenting seminar with ms perumal. we love to see it
15:23
hehehe! same. haaaaaaaah
16:13
gfhjhgfhgh
okay but how is that considered cheating?? it's a strategy!
16:24
and NO SHAME
17:22
i mean... true enough
then again i somehow doubt this is a legal operation so if you're stealing from criminals, two wrongs make a right! /j
17:43
GIRL PLEASE
17:56
kinda thought this guy was risker when i saw the trailer. guess not!
18:25
Ahhh, you can totally take him. You just have to make it outside and them sic Madge on 'im! Just... don't look.
19:25
oh right, international waters. no laws! don't look that up, i promise it's true
19:47
the earnestness of that line awwww
Good job, Reynie. Applejack would approve!
20:04
Those "water polo" players are lucky Martina's not here. You do not besmirch the name of sports in her presence- unlike Kate she won't hesitate, bitch.
20:24
........?
20:35
SURRENDERRRRRRRRRRR
i love cannonball oh my god
21:28
...that line, and referring to his followers as "family" is.... really reminding me of my own experience in a similar organization. Man.
22:14
...excuse me a second
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22:19
NO WE DON'T ENLIGHTEN US PLEASE
22:52
.... given what we know about constance that somehow seems competely plausible
23:32
Not so "equal in weight", huh, Atalanta?
rip milligan's luggage :(
23:57
DFKUFUAKJHJKASDGSJSKDAHJASDGKJGFYJSAYGGFSEY
THAT LINE DELIVERY
BLESS YOU FRED MELAMED
24:16
these are children you two
24:28
OOOOOOOOOH
she just called your ship sad. with class!
love that kate really is expanding her vocab- she didn't lie to milligan in ep 1!
25:30
do they not have passports?? did they leave them behind with the adults?
25:37
yoink
25:53
What happened to "Nicholas, I've moved on?"
26:02
if you're going through the grieving process simply say "no"
26:33
Unlike last season, the bright yellow is actually very effective camouflage in a lemon grove!
(also, little bit of trivia- coastal Italy does have the ideal climate for growing lemons!)
26:48
free snacks for the road ayyy
27:02
they sound like they're looking for their lost dog shakjdsl
27:21
sebastian's brokennnnnn
27:54
UH OHHHHHHH
28:03
UH OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
28:48
the engineering on that luggage cube must be insane because the ones on top are essentially floating
29:08
which was not very from your perspective! was that a diss?
29:23
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and now i'm laughing bc i'm thinking of the chekhov's gun bit from the goes wrong show s2 ajaskhjh
29:46
And there's an example of one right there!
30:05
"But today I learned that morality is relative!"
so has reynie's "oh no humanity might be evil" arc been replaced with a "humanity's evil so i'm gonna lean into it lmao" arc?
30:31
constance over there like "oh? really? yes a completely figurative saying imagine that"
30:50
highly, highly accurate
and also
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31:13
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31:40
jeffers was in curtain's drama club in college and curtain couldn't stand him but he was on board for the evil scheme stuff so what can you do.
32:13
aaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAA???
32:46
more evidence for the drama club theory. gotta pose dramatically before even attempting to hail one of the numerous nearby cabs to follow them! you go king.
Alright! That was episode 3: A Gold Bar in Fort Knox. I feel like this was sort of a transitional episode, and I'm... not sure how I feel about that. The Shortcut and the people on it were a huge part of the book's journey, and here... it's just used to get from point A to point B, rather than being an interesting stop of its own. With that, I'm gonna have to give this one a 7/10. I really hope they do more with Noland and Cannonball down the line... But I am fascinated to see where the brainwashed Mr. Benedict plot goes...
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See you all shortly for episode 4!
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manilafm · 1 year
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mw characters?
So, there aren't a lot of taken characters in this RPG at this time, but our members would absolutely love to see Harry Potter, Ginny Weasley, Ron Weasley, Hermione Granger, Daphne Greengrass, Astoria Greengrass, Pansy Parkinson, Luna Lovegood, Andromeda Black, Katie Bell, Cho Chang, Marlene McKinnon, Neville Longbottom, Molly Prewett, Fleur Delacour, Narcissa Black, Angelina Johnson, George Weasley, Percy Weasley, Charlie Weasley, Bill Weasley, Romilda Vane, and Albus Dumbledore from Harry Potter ; Kirk Cameron 'K.C.' Guthrie, Mia Jones, Craig Manning, Sean Cameron, Jenna Middleton, Zoë Rivas, Clare Edwards, Paige Michalchuk, Fiona Coyne, Darcy Edwards, Imogen Moreno, Emma Nelson, Lola Pacini, Holly J. Sinclair, Manuella 'Manny' Santos, Anya MacPherson, Eleanor 'Ellie' Nash, and Katlynn 'Katie' Matlin from Degrassi: The Next Generation / Degrassi: The Next Class ; Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, Rarity, Princess Celestia, Princess Luna, Spike, and Discord from My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic ; Archie Andrews, Betty Cooper, Veronica Lodge, Cheryl Blossom, Jughead Jones, and Toni Topaz from Riverdale ; Timmy Turner, Denzel Crocker, Timmy Turner's unnamed mother, Timmy Turner's unnamed father, Wanda Fairywinkle-Cosma, Poof Fairywinkle-Cosma, Cosmo Cosma, Anti-Cosmo, Anti-Wanda, Sparky, Trixie Tang, Chloe Carmichael, Chester McBadBat, A.J., Mark Chang, Vicky, Chip Skylark, and Britney Britney from The Fairly OddParents ; Katniss Everdeen, Annie Cresta, Madge Undersee, and Clove Kentwell from The Hunger Games ; And we would absolutely love to see Brittany S. Pierce, Lucy ‘Quinn’ Fabray, Santana Lopez, Sam Evans, and Finn Hudson from Glee !! But if you have any specific fandoms in mind, please send us an ask with the full name of the fandom that the characters are from !!
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xpiester333x · 1 year
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No pie.😭 the last of us is so good. At least the game don't know much about the show. But it's so good in my opinion. So emotional. Shouldn’t be compared. But I don't blame you for what the walking dead did. It just ended up dragging. It has fast fungus things called clickers if that helps.🥺 anyway I get you.
I'M SORRY ANON.
To be fair I haven't actually played TLOU. I knew it had zombies in it and that was enough to make me MADGE D<. But I did watch my brother play enough to know the characters had a lot of depth so I'm sure in that regard its a great game.
Also this is all the opinion of a crusty zombie hater screaming into the void lol. Never to be taken too seriously and definitely no hate 💜
0 notes
everlarkficexchange · 3 years
Text
Everlark Fic Exchange. PROMPTS
Springtime Edition 2021.
These are the prompts we’ve received so far.
Crossed out prompts have already been selected and are being turned into fics!
A huge ‘Thank you’ to everyone who’s taken the time to come up with an idea and send it our way. Your prompts are the heart of the Exchange. Without them, our authors wouldn’t get to write all those beautiful fics. So, please, keep them coming!
You haven’t sent anything yet? Don’t worry, there’s still time. We’ll be receiving prompts until March 7.  Don’t be afraid to inspire us!
Prompts:
Prompt 1: “No, I noticed just about every girl, but none of them made a lasting impression but you.” (Peeta’s pov of the girls who made impressions that didn’t last and the ones Katniss made that did.) [submitted by @567inpanem]
Prompt 2: “Luck Is What Happens When Preparation Meets Opportunity” - When they are assigned to the same group in middleschool Home Ec class, Peeta seizes the opportunity to pursue Katniss using all his well-honed family bakery and salesmanship skills. [submitted by @567inpanem]
Prompt 3: I would like to see some everlark where Finnick walks in on them or Johanna and the there victors make fun of them for what they heard [submitted by anonymous]
Prompt 4: Trope: Jealousy Katniss. Modern AU Katniss Everdeen sees his ex boyfriend as the date of one of her coworkers in the company party. She shouldn’t care, because she broke with him, one year ago and still.... when their song plays, against her better judgements, she finds herself dancing with him. [submitted by @alwayseverlark]
Prompt 5: Peeta and Katniss were both rescued in the arena and Peeta shares a bunk in D13 with Finnick - Finnick was sleeping and Peeta and Katniss doesn't see him there in the dark hours while they are tangled in lust and desire - either when everlark is doing it and realizes finnick is there or maybe finnicks POV as he is listening silently or even telling Johanna about it the next day - maybe he even stops them mid fuck with a snide sarcastic remark it's up to you [submitted by anonymous]
Prompt 6: Modern AU. High School or College Everlark. Make the “booth Kiss” but Everlark! Peeta is the big brother of Katniss best friend, and she never imagined rule number #9 would become a problem. “Rule #9: Relatives of your best friend are off-limits.” [submitted by @alwayseverlark]
Prompt 7: Prompt: Butthurt emotionally immature Peeta acts the asshat manwhore around Katniss when, in misinterpreting her, he believes that she thinks he’s not good enough for her. [submitted by @567inpanem]
Prompt 8: Age gap. Peeta and Katniss are cast as the romantic leads in a show (tv, film, stage, or even a commercial). Of course they cast someone half his age. Peeta can’t help falling for her anyway. [submitted by @567inpanem]
Prompt 9: Canon-Divergent/ In Panem D12 “I waited for you” he said but she dint’t reply. He pressed for an answer he knew he deserved, “under the rain, Katniss. I waited for you, under the rain... why would you do that?” / “I can’t do this anymore, Peeta” / “Bullshit, you can but you just don’t want. I thought you were brave!” he yelled at her looking for any reaction that will give some hope. His tears threatening to run down his face. / She didn’t move, and she didn’t correct her, so he ran away and slammed the door behind him. / “I love you” Katniss said to an empty room. [submitted by @alwayseverlark]
Prompt 10: Canon Divergent. When Peeta is rescued from the Capitol and brought to D13, he’s forgotten everything related to Katniss. The Capitol has erased his memories: no Valley Song, no bread, no games, ... nothing. It’s the perfect opportunity for Katniss to let it go, it’s what every tells her... but she still kisses his pearl goodnight. [submitted by @alwayseverlark]
Prompt 11: Prim is marrying before starting her dream job as a pediatric surgeon in another district. 30-something Katniss is proud, thrilled, and yet bereft when her entire life was lived for Prim. She’s never even dated. Has Peeta been waiting for this moment to make his move? Or do they meet at the wedding? Or when her friend drags Katniss out of her slump to a party or on a wild vacation after convincing her to quit her jobs and start a new life? [submitted by @567inpanem]
Prompt 12: Fae Katniss. She’s been with him his entire life, so Peeta simply accepted that no one else could see her, thought other people had their own Katniss. She’d been called his imaginary friend and later a crutch, a figment of his imagination, a delusion. Dr. A asks him to make a “real” friend, ignore Katniss, try going on a date. But Katniss won’t be ignored. And a jealous Katniss is a force. [submitted by @567inpanem]
Prompt 13: Katniss is “just one of the guys” and the only girl in school who’s never been asked for a date by any of these guys. One day she’s “discovered” by a modeling agency and whisked to the Capital. She returns 3-months later with a new look, new found confidence, and cash. How will Peeta deal with the new Katniss and all the attention she gets from everyone?  [submitted by @567inpanem]
Prompt 14: Peeta is 17 when it comes out the only thing his mother ever cooked was the books; he loses his home, his family, his roll in the community. Katniss is 17 when she loses her only reason for living. What brings them together? How do they help each other survive? What forces work against them? When do they accept the other as ally, as friend, as lover? Canon divergent. [submitted by @567inpanem]
Prompt 15: 16-yr-old Peeta’s family moves away. 10 years later he returns and buys a foreclosed upon fixer-upper. When does he learn it belonged to Katniss’s family? She still lives there and hides from him, observes him, haunts him, and ruins all his romantic dates when he’s trying to impress women by making them dinner. Does she learn all she needs to know about him and fall in love before he discovers she’s real and living with him and the one who’s been ruining his love life? [submitted by @567inpanem]
Prompt 16: canon divergent, arranged marriage. Many, many years after the rebellion, old victor and mockingjay Haymitch living alone finally starts accepting help, hires teenagers Katniss to bring him liquor and pick up packages and Peeta to bring food and do some chores. The old man sees how the 2 could be good for each other, and being strategic, manipulative, and an old romantic fool with regrets over “the one that got away,” he writes a will leaving his huge fortune to Peeta and Katniss on the condition they have a big romantic wedding within 30 days and live in his mansion caring for his Effie Rose Garden (“Creamy buds unfurl to reveal a memorable heart of buttery yellow, dusty apricot and zesty orange. From a cupped bloom, Rose Effie gradually opens to a perfect rosette, showcasing her splendor.”) And geese.  [submitted by @567inpanem]
Prompt 17: AU, supernatural. “The Monkey's Paw" retelling - 3 wishes are granted (to the owner of the monkey's paw, either Katniss or Peeta) but the wishes come with an enormous price for interfering with fate. Will the last wish make things right? [submitted by @567inpanem]
Prompt 18: enemies to lovers. Katniss ruins Peeta’s relationship or his shot with a super hot woman. Peeta ruins Katniss’s shot at great job or security with potential fiancé. Other series of embarrassments and cockblocking type events? Will they start sabotaging each other for revenge? Will they have angry sex or will it dawn on them that they’re actually attracted to each other first and make everything awkward before they instead have a sweet vulnerable moment and slow reverent love-making? [submitted by @567inpanem]
Prompt 19: based loosely on retelling of biblical Jacob and wives Rachel and Leah in that polygamist Peeta is husband to both Katniss and Prim. [submitted by @567inpanem]
Prompt 20: Peeta works in ER or long-term care facility. Katniss called in from next-of-kin list and has to decide whether to pull the plug on Prim. They argue over value and meaning of life, over spiritual beliefs and doubts of afterlife, over everything. What will she do? Will this event in this one room be the only thing they ever share, or will the bond they forge through this emotional event be the beginning for them? [submitted by @567inpanem]
Prompt 21: Graduating senior Katniss finally accepts an invitation to one of Madge’s wild, unsupervised parties completely unprepared for what goes on in them. Everyone at the party notices her for different reasons from jealousy over the way she looks to suspicion that she’s going to tell parents about the activities to desire to ruin her good girl reputation. Peeta has never missed a party - how does he react to seeing her there? [submitted by @567inpanem]
Prompt 22: Their creative writing assignment is to write a short story or poem and to illustrate it as a sketch, painting, animation, with puppets, anything goes. Classmates Katniss and Peeta base their works on the exact same shared experience! (such as the burnt bread, the dandelion, the meadow at sunset, something else entirely). Reaction? People think one of them copied the idea off the other or that they worked together. But Katniss and Peeta realize that the other one remembers, and it meant something to them, too! Will they finally talk? [submitted by @567inpanem]
Prompt 23: social media type craziness enemies to lovers. Katniss and Peeta each host a YouTube channel rapidly growing in popularity, Peeta focuses on baking and Katniss on wild game cooking, a competition for audience share becomes personal after they both bake a meat pie recipe, viewers begin to rabidly support their favorite or to ship them together hard, they start to hate each other without ever meeting, maybe they get forced into interacting for a charity benefit, things get ugly, maybe one or both has significant other who react badly to the shipping hype? [submitted by @567inpanem]
Prompt 24: While no one expected Katniss to show up to graduation right after her mother passed away and her sister died, they were surprised that she disappeared completely, and even more stunned when she reappeared years later to claim the town’s only apothecary as the last living family member. What compels her to take it over? Where has she been? What kind of welcome does she get? How does she feel about returning and about town life? What’s been going on with Peeta, is he the baker, is he single, a dad, how’s he been all these years? Will talking with him be awkward? Has he changed? Who has Katniss become? Does she seem different? Will she stay? [submitted by @567inpanem]
Prompt 25: Katniss is the new girl at this school, transferred to get a better education. Everything about her is alluring, even more so because she doesn’t see the effect she has. Seems everyone is in a clique. She learns that some people are mean and compete like it’s a fight to the death. How does she survive this new arena, learn to identify friends, and stay true to her values under this pressure to fit in? [submitted by @567inpanem]
Prompt 26: MJ canon divergent: Prim was not killed. Gale and Katniss attempted to get back to how they were before the war, but he realized he already lost Katniss' to Peeta - heart, body and soul. Any POV. [submitted by anonymous]
Prompt 27: Everlark in a Tangled!AU, with Katniss as Eugene, and Peeta as Rapunzel (without the super long hair...he has lovely, curly blond locks that heal when combed along to the song...but boy uses a rope to get people in/out of the tower!) [submitted by @albinokittens300]
Prompt 28: Modern AU: Bestfriends!Everlark took their shot at being lovers. But Katniss introduced Peeta as her "bestfriend" to a guy in a party (she was not used to calling him boyfriend yet). He was furious. [submitted by anonymous]
Prompt 29: I want to request a fic where Katniss and Peeta almost lost their first child and it just made their love and relationship even stronger. [submitted by anonymous]
Prompt 30: Peeta is Katniss’ tantric yoga teacher. She joins the class on a dare from Johanna and is committed to attending for 3 months. She hates it...at first. Smut happens. [submitted by @mrspeetamellark]
Prompt 31: Peeta Mellark, breakout star and heartthrob has just been cast in the newest highly anticipated fantasy epic (think like Jon Snow in GoT....or whatever because this is just a prompt) His character is highly skilled with a sword and absolutely lethal with a bow. Him and the rest of the cast have to do three months of intensive training prior to production. How will that go with him having a massive crush on Katniss Everdeen, weapons expert and fight choreographer? [submitted by @nightlock-89]
Prompt 32: Katniss Everdeen, famous musician hates posing for photoshoots whether it's for an album or a magazine with the exception of celebrity photographer Peeta Mellark who seems to always know the way to get the best shots. [submitted by @nightlock-89​]
Prompt 33: Based off the movie The Vow except it's Peeta who wakes up to find out he's married to his childhood crush Katniss Everdeen with no knowledge of them ever even dating. [submitted by @nightlock-89​​]
Prompt 34: Modern AU where a forty year old Katniss has shut herself off from the world from fear of getting hurt. After her sister dies she realizes how isolated she is and now wants to open herself up to love, but hasn’t a clue where to begin. Everlark HEA - the details of how they meet and what Peeta’s been up to are entirely up to you. :) [submitted by anonymous]
Prompt 35: Katniss and Peeta tet to have a date night but the babysitter calls for some "disaster" at home (a burst pipe or something, nothing serious). [submitted by @booksrockmyface]
Prompt 36: Katniss and Peeta are both single parents. They meet while chaperoning a field trip. The rest is up to you! [submitted by @mrspeetamellark]
Prompt 37: Forbidden romance AU: Katniss is the school principal. Peeta is a new teacher fresh out of college. Age!gap Everlark. Smut happens. [submitted by @mrspeetamellark]
Prompt 38: Both Katniss and Peeta are rescued from the arena, and Peeta’s entire family makes it safely to D13. How does everyone get along? (Perhaps the older Mellark brothers have a “chat” with Gale? Or the Hawthornes, Mellarks and Everdeens meet up for the first time at dinner and a fight breaks out? Does anyone have anything to say about the beach kiss?? Prim? Rye? Gale? Will Katniss stick by Peeta or avoid meeting the expectations she set with that beach kiss and declaration of “I need you”?) [submitted by @567inpanem]
Prompt 39: Katniss has been bumping into the same stranger (Peeta) for months. When they get stuck in an unfortunate situation together, she decides to be the first to say hello. [submitted by @eiramrelyat]
Prompt 40: Katniss is finally, after a long fight with infertility, expecting their second baby. She plans to share this news with Peeta in a big way. Just some sweet, happy Everlark excited for their second toastbaby! [submitted by @albinokittens300]
Prompt 41: based on high school musical. katniss as gabriella, the smart, great singer and shy girl who starts a friendship w the football star player of the school peeta mellark after singing together at a new year's day's party. could be based on the events of one or all three movies. just some light, fluff high school romance and a very hea. [submitted by anonymous]
Prompt 42: Group of friends. Economic disaster, no jobs; eventually in desperation someone in the group suggests making a porno for $, the idea takes off, as they work on a script and put out ideas, alot becomes clear, like who has kinks, who has tried a lot, and that one is an inexperienced virgin. Does the writing experience have consequences to the group dynamic, will they actually film and sell it, will they stay friends? Are any couples or siblings part of the group? Are secrets revealed through brainstorming? [submitted by @567inpanem]
Prompt 43: After getting her to agree to be his girlfriend, Gale calls Katniss frigid for not being ready for more than handholding and chaste kisses. In effort thaw her faster, he makes an appointment with a team of sex experts, Mellark, Mason, and Undersee (offering MD diagnostics, individual and couple counseling, sex surrogacy help). The professional team breaks under strain of dealing with jackass Gale. Katniss breaks all ties with him and learns in working with the team that she wants sex and just how she likes it. (Is it M/F, F/F, 3-way...) [submitted by @567inpanem]
Prompt 44: First-date Everlark. How do they know each other? Who asked who? How do they prepare? Where do they go? How old are they? Does the first date end with a kiss? Pancakes? Request for another? Is it perfect or a disaster so epic they actually have fun and agree to a second first-date? [submitted by @567inpanem]
Prompt 45: Peeta works security (peacekeeper? police?), Katniss is a protester (rebellion? BLM?) or a civilian (rebel?) or a local translator in her village. Do they know each other at all? Work together? Fight on opposite sides or meet at common ground? What threatens them? Are their feelings real? [submitted by @567inpanem]
Prompt 46: They really do toast privately in CF - katniss wearing an orange dress for peeta and peeta making cheese buns for katniss. They wanted something their own. No one knows about it and there’s no baby (as far they know) but how would this change their relationship? How they make their decisions? Would anyone actually believe they’re married when she gets to district 13? [submitted by anonymous]
Prompt 47: Katniss and peeta have a secret semi-relationship prior to the 74th games resulting in a child. Katniss’ family hides it was her pregnancy and pretends its mrs everdeens - assuming katniss went to cray or something. What happens when both katniss and peeta are reaped? Will peeta learn of his child? Will anything change during the games? [submitted by anonymous]
Prompt 48: Mrs. Mellark survived the bombing of district 12 because she was squatting at Peeta’s house. How does this event change her and how does this effect Everlark? (Does this count as an eligible prompt? I just think it would be a great dynamic!) [submitted by anonymous]
Prompt 49: Age gap. Peeta is a kid in love, driven to enlist, returns as amputee, expects no woman will have him, let alone Katniss. She has become a skilled healer, comes to care for him. He makes her heart full again, she renews him. Age becomes irrelevant. [submitted by @567inpanem]
Prompt 50: Fae Peeta or some other supernatural. Mellarks are secretly fae and Peeta meets his mate *Katniss* on the first day of school. katniss is human and it’s dangerous for them to interact when they are so young still. Peeta is forbidden to interact with her until the 74th games - where he will do everything he can to save her. [submitted by anonymous]
Prompt 51: Katniss and Peeta unknowingly have super powers. Anything beyond regular human is rare or unheard of in Panem. For some reason it manifests in both of them and comes out as they both fight to protect each other’s lives in the games. [submitted by anonymous]
Prompt 52: An AU based on Casper The movie from 1995 (just rewatched this movie, it gaves me so much EverLark vibes^^). Katniss comes to live in an old house alone or with family. Peeta is a ghost staying in this house for who knows how long. He doesn't remember much of his living life. The house is full of secrets. They try to discover the story of Peeta and of course they fell in love ! How can it be a happy ending ? 😉 [submitted by @dreamingreaderuniverse]
Prompt 53: Peeta has a harder time after the 74th games then anyone realizes. PTSD, the virtual abandonment of his family, and Katniss’ lack of interest in him, he’s in a bad place. He puts up a front when around Katniss and Haymitch, but things come to head when he gets an anxiety/panic attack while on the victory tour. Katniss is there for him. [submitted by anonymous]
Prompt 54: Madge has hosted “Beach Week!” ever since her family acquired the multi-dwelling retreat years ago. Katniss never had the $ to go, but with Madge relocating to Paris, Katniss lets Madge cover her share of the expenses with the promise to make it the best! week! ever! Katniss assumes Madge means taking a turn at karaoke or *gulp* going skinny dipping by moonlight. She learns that Madge and her many guests shed all inhibitions, especially with this being their last chance to go wild. [submitted by @567inpanem]
Prompt 55: Arriving in D13, it’s quickly discovered that Peeta will never be the same. Mixed with a failed high jacking, and a brutal beating, Peeta’s brain will never be the same. He’s childlike and mostly nonverbal, but Katniss still sees her Boy with Bread and will protect him at all costs.[submitted by anonymous]
Prompt 56: Peeta wasn’t highjacked in MJ. He was tortured, but not set against Katniss. After Peeta’s warning to D13 he receives the punishment for treason: he becomes an avox. [submitted by @kiinghanalister]
Prompt 57: Girl Scout Cookies come to D12: real world trackerjacker venom to a proud 4th generation baker. Is his own daughter a new scout? Is he asked to lead the fundraiser? Does troop leader Katniss come by with her scouts asking to set up a sales table in front of Mellark Bakery? [submitted by @567inpanem]
Prompt 58: Katniss’s grandchild is full of questions: why does grandpa walk funny? why is your yard have only dandelions when everybody else only has grass? why can’t I pick the prim roses - they’re yellow, too ... did you know I could eat this many cheesebuns? [submitted by @567inpanem]
Prompt 59: Katniss dad is a victor he won his hunger games and is a mentor. Peeta is reaped for the games and Katniss begs her dad to help him win the games. [submitted by anonymous]
Prompt 60: Quote prompt: I can see in his eyes what I've done is unforgivable ... "Who can't lie, Peeta?" (Maybe Katniss and Mrs Mellark manipulate situation to get what they think is best for Peeta, sacrificing relationship and destroying trust? Does he leave for years? Does she ever apologize enough to renew a friendship? Was he forced to live a different life than what he wanted? Or does he live his dream life but without Katniss? Is he happily married with kids when she sees him a few years later? Or is he an old bitter man who never loved or trusted again?) [submitted by @567inpanem]
Prompt 61: The Hunger Games is real - you can go home with your winnings to live HEA. Katniss and Peeta celebrate with sex. Unfortunately, the beauty treatment chemicals stimulate the gonads, and Katniss finds she’s carrying not just one Mellark baby but eight. They’ll need more $. Haymitch suggests a reality tv show. Everyone must play a roll to earn a salary - Mrs Mellark plays the loving grandma (off camera, she’s still a mean bitch), who else will take on a tv persona? They jam in many ridiculous product placements. They slap their logo onto anything they can sell to capitolites. How far will they go to keep those baby butts in clean diapers? [submitted by @567inpanem]
Prompt 62: Katniss is the football team’s new kicker and the league’s first and only female player. It’s their first road trip. She’d heard stories about what goes on from head cheerleader Madge and piccolo player Delly. Katniss deals with locker room issues, getting respect she earned for her skill, handling the culture of drinking and casual sex, dealing with possessive girls jealous of her time with the guys or others influencing her to change her look or her attitude, finding what makes her happy and what is real. [submitted by @567inpanem]
Prompt 63: Enemies to lovers; Katniss and Peeta are rival business owners (located right next door to each other). A blackout during a snowstorm pushes them together and they are forced to face their true feelings. Do that really "hate" each other, or is their intense desire for one another manifesting itself in other ways? Before the night is over, they find themselves locked in the other's arms. [submitted by @ameliaodair]
Prompt 64: Katniss and Peeta are in a scary car accident - bring on the angst! With happy ending of course :) [submitted by anonymous]
Prompt 65: 74th games - Katniss is being cornered by a male tribute (whoever you want) early on in the games. She doesn’t have her bow and he’s larger and stronger. He quickly over powers her but he’s not looking to kill her - he has more nefarious ideas. Peeta finds them and doesn’t hesitate to tackle the tribute off of Katniss and kills him in rage. Katniss doesn’t leave Peeta’s side after this moment. How does this change Katniss and the rest of the books? [submitted by anonymous]
Prompt 66: A story told in pictures. Like, Instagram of their stuff only, as Katniss and Peeta get in to college, change roommates, suffer loss, move on, eventually see their stuff together when they cohabitate, or maybe start there and go through drama of breakup until find way back together. (Like the supposition that your garden looks overgrown is a clue that your husband is having an affair type of idea). [submitted by @567inpanem]
Prompt 67: 🌈❤️🦋Katniss and Peeta are the cutest couple!🌸❤️🦄Everbody hates them. Everyone tries to break them up, for their own reason, using their own methods. Damn it, it only makes their love stronger! It ends in some triumph, like celebration of their golden anniversary or other great fortune. [submitted by @567inpanem]
Prompt 68: Katniss always wanted to be a mother, she just never wanted to admit it with the Games hanging over everyone’s heads. So when the war is over and everything is real for Katniss and Peeta, she’s wants to start a family with Peeta. Only- Peeta has never wanted kids. [submitted by anonymous]
Prompt 69: It’s the start of the holiday shopping season. The Hunger Games Victors’ big public event is attending the grand opening of a huge new toy store where they are presented with hottest must-have new toys: action figures of themselves. Afterwards, they start playing with their dolls. Johanna’s is quickly naked. Is Finnick’s anatomically correct? Anyone jealous of Katniss’s doll coming with the Cinna Collection accessories? [submitted by @567inpanem]
Prompt 70: Everlark AU Where the Heart Is (movie) - heavily pregnant Katniss is abandoned at a Walmart in the middle of nowhere by her baby daddy. Homeless and with nowhere to go, Katniss secretly bunks at Walmart each day. One early morning she goes into labor and is discovered by the blue eyed and kind employee Peeta who immediately jumps in to help. Admitting to having no one or place to go to Nurse Effie, Katniss finds herself and her baby the reluctant charge of Haymitch Abernathy. [submitted by @kiinghanalister]
Prompt 71: Magic of Ordinary Days AU: 1940s, Katniss is a single pregnant girl. Desperate for her daughter not to have a child out of wedlock, Mrs Everdeen contacts a priest who in turn knows a young man who just may be willing to help. Sweet, kind and shy Peeta stayed home to take care of the family farm when his beloved brother went to war to never come back. He’s always wanted a family but rural small town life gives little chance to court. He hears of Katniss’ plight and graciously offers to marry her and raise the child as his own. He does everything he can think of to make a home for Katniss and the baby. How does Katniss take it? How does their relationship develop? Will they fall in love? [submitted by anonymous]
Prompt 72: Post MJ Everlark Parallel to the CF Scene that takes place after the jabberjay hour. [submitted by anonymous]
Prompt 73: Katniss looses a baby before they have Toastbaby one [submitted by anonymous]
Prompt 74: Con man Peeta has an elaborate operation fleecing money out of unsuspecting wealthy victims. Why does he do it? Is it a Robin Hood type operation to redistribute money to the underprivileged and marginalized people? Or is it more selfishly oriented? He can’t do it alone and hires Katniss as a “research assistant.” Authors choice as to what exactly her role is. Does she help select the victims? The recipients of the funds? Or is she involved in planning and executing the cons? Does she help him discover the errors of his ways if he’s doing it for himself? Whatever the plan is, falling in love is not part of it and when you lose focus of the plan, bad things happen. [submitted by @katnissdoesnotfollowback]
Prompt 75: Black swan style AU with Peeta as Odette and/or Odelle. [submitted by @katnissdoesnotfollowback]
Prompt 76: Vignettes from a mother’s eye. Everlark through the eyes of Mrs Everdeen, Mrs Mellark, Mrs Hawthorne. One of them or any combination of the three. Canon compliant or any AU. [submitted by @katnissdoesnotfollowback]
Prompt 77: Married Everlark are coworkers and their marriage is on the rocks. They’ve been sleeping in separate rooms. Divorce looks inevitable. On a business trip, there is *dramatic pause* only one bed. Does the forced closeness lead them to really talk for the first time in months or does it drive them further apart? Smut not required. [submitted by @katnissdoesnotfollowback]
Prompt 78: Everlark in their twilight years. What do their relationships with the toastbabies look like? Are there grandkids? [submitted by @katnissdoesnotfollowback]
Prompt 79: This holiday is dumb, Katniss says every year even as Peeta goes all out with the traditions, decorations, themed baked goods, cajoling Katniss to partake in activities. Now there’s a toastbaby on the way and for some reason, Peeta doesn’t do any of the things he usually does for the holiday. How does Katniss react? Relieved? Or does she realize she actually loves his zeal and tries to spark the spirit back into him? Writer picks the holiday and level of cheesy fluff. [submitted by @katnissdoesnotfollowback]
Prompt 80: How does that work? They were roommates and best friends. When they meet a couple who has a common law marriage, Everlark starts to wonder if it applies to them too. Go angsty or fluffy or crazy, wherever the muse takes you. [submitted by @katnissdoesnotfollowback]
Prompt 81: Shakespearean style AU in the vein of Still Star Crossed. Katniss and Peeta were not the famed star crossed lovers. Someone else was. But while the deaths of their best friends are still fresh, Katniss and Peeta find themselves in an arranged marriage to hopefully heal the rift. Tell me their story. Any time period or setting welcome. [submitted by @katnissdoesnotfollowback]
Prompt 82: Everlark + Taylor Swift. I'll make it easy. Any song, write a fic based on it. Are Katniss or Peeta the songwriter, or the ones living out the ending? [submitted by @archersandsunsets]
Prompt 83: Katniss gets stung by tracker jackers post mj, Peeta take care of his wife [submitted by anonymous]
Prompt 84: Elementary School - the beginning of having a “girlfriend/boyfriend” - Katniss’s best friends (Maggie and Gale) are the “it couple”. She really doesn’t care - she can sit with her friend Jo at lunch and hangs out on the monkey bars alone. Until a new boy comes to school! [submitted by @winegirl65]
Prompt 85: Arranged Marriage!Everlark. (Not medieval necessarily but ‘old time’ setting) Peeta and Katniss have been betrothed since they were children, but have only seen each other through portraits/paintings. Both grow resentful of their arranged marriage, and act up against it; K being as wild and unladylike as possible: hunting, wearing trousers, riding bareback; P being a rake, silver tongue con artist, etc. A month before their wedding, they meet at a The Hub (black market/pub/whatever disresputable place you want it to be) and bet at arm wrestling against each other. Is it love at first sight? Do they armwrestle each other? Do they recognize one another? Will there be smut because ‘hey, we’ll be marry in a month anyway’? Writers choice! [submitted by @alliswell21]
Prompt 86: Katniss is married to Gale, but they have an open marriage. Gale sleeps around and has other girlfriends, but Katniss is only intimide with her best friend, Peeta - extra brownie points if Everlark have toast babies or Kat leaves Gale for Peeta. Thank you! [submitted by anonymous]
Prompt 87: Katniss is desperate for a job. She applies for a job with the following description, even though she isn’t fully qualified: We are looking to hire a Data Analyst to join our data team. You will take responsibility for managing our master data set, developing reports, and troubleshooting data issues. To do well in this role you need a very fine eye for detail, experience as a data analyst, and a deep understanding of the popular data analysis tools and databases.Peeta’s just doing his friend a favor, applying for a job he’s definitely not qualified for in order to keep an eye on his friend’s crazy uncle.What happens when Katniss and Peeta are the only applicants for the job of data analyst to Supervillain Haymitch? Will they find a way to both get what they need? Do they stick to the job description or discover that there’s much more to the phrase “Others duties as assigned”? What about Haymitch? His nefarious plans always go awry, and actually don’t seem all that evil, but perhaps with the help of his two questionable new data analysts, he can finally expose two-faced Superhero Coin for the dastardly villain she is. [submitted by @katnissdoesnotfollowback]
Prompt 88: Peeta designs “toys” for his adult shop. He hires Katniss to test his products, she has to fill a questionnaire for feed back or something of the sort. One day she comes in complaining that one of the toys doesn’t work; Peeta thinks she’s not using it properly, so he sits in to watch her try it once more... “to take notes”. She is indeed using it wrong, so he steps in to show her the correct way. [submitted by @alliswell21]
Prompt 89: If Prim and Peeta are never reaped, and Mrs Mellark and Prim die after the 75th Games, and widower Mr Mellark marries widow Mrs Everdeen, what would happen to Katniss? We know from the book that her mom would leave her. And, what would Peeta do? [submitted by @567inpanem]
Prompt 90: The Olympic committee is selling sponsorships and heavily advertising the upcoming games. The most photogenic of each sport is asked to pose for pics and attend functions, film commercial together, do some interviews. What sports represented by Katniss, Peeta, others? Required to look cozy? Animosity behind those smiles? Competitiveness? Banter? Any secrets? Do they have a “breakfast club” ending? [submitted by @567inpanem]
Prompt 91: Katniss senses something is amiss before the bakery door opens: chaos as Mr. Mellark incapacitated (throws out back?) on one of their busiest days! Mrs M never acknowledged K before, but they desperately need kitchen help, now! And K is more than capable of working hard. A bargain is struck to clean up and follow all other directions thrown at her in exchange for bread and coin. Hard negotiations? Peeta’s reaction? Is it Katniss and all 3 boys in the back? Do the older 2 know her? Any talking? How does the long day go? Does it end well for Peeta? [submitted by @567inpanem]
Prompt 92: Years later, the blocked mine shaft is finally cleared, and the bodies are recovered. Will recovery of her father’s remains help Katniss or make things worse? Will the community do anything to honor the men? Will the Everdeens get any personal effects, did he leave a message for Katniss? Will there be evidence that leads to prosecution and $ settlement? Will Peeta, Gale, community, mom, Prim be there to support K? Who can she talk to? Is she changed? [submitted by @567inpanem]
Prompt 93: Mr Hawthorne doesn’t die in the mine explosion. It’s he who Katniss meets in the woods and becomes her hunting partner, and eventually a father figure when he starts offering advice on what to do once she graduates. He sees how the baker’s son acts, but he has 3 sons who need strong, hard-working and skilled wives, and he saw Mrs E leave town life behind. Peeta never sees K with Gale - what impact does that have on him? Does Mr H speak of rebellion or does he stay quiet on the subject? Does Katniss see the Hawthorns happily married and modify views on marriage if not on raising a family? [submitted by @567inpanem]
Prompt 94: Chris Pratt was a “kick ass” door to door coupon salesman. That could be Peeta! Vacuum cleaner sales, and he has to come in for a demonstration! He’s charming, but does his pitch earn him a sale? Does his cleaner choke on all the cat hair from buttercup? Does the powerful unit suck up something of value? Is it even her house or is she house sitting and wasting his time? [submitted by @567inpanem]
Prompt 95: Peeta is also rescued or ah least when he is saved from the capitol he isn’t hijacked which leads to katniss and peeta finally dating - Johanna and finnick still make fun of the happy couple about being so “pure” and one day they have enough - either they purposely do the deed loudly or something in front of them or whatever it is, make it steamy! Or.......peeta exxagerates and tells finnick and Johanna what they have done together in an attempt to prove how unpure they are and Katniss overhears and finally does all the things peeta was explaining [submitted by anonymous]
Prompt 96: The Games ended with the rebellion years ago, but now you can “experience all the excitement for yourself at Disney’s newest theme park The Hunger Games! Take a wild train ride into a real replica arena! Experience the thrill of virtually racing to the 3-D weapons pile then trade your kill count tickets in for arcade prizes! Flex your muscles swinging real replica axes and swords! Try on costumes, or enjoy a spa day at Beauty Base Zero! Enjoy an all-you-can-eat meal at The Cornucopia Buffet!” So, who wants to go? Or, who works there? [submitted by @567inpanem]
Prompt 97: Everlark cuddling. That’s it. That’s the prompt. [submitted by @katnissdoesnotfollowback]
Prompt 98: Toned, nubile, athletic Katniss and Peeta are hired as stunt and body doubles for a couple of famous film actors who have been liberally airbrushed for the promo pics. The $ is good. No one can know. A lot of nudity. No dialogue, just well timed grunts and groans. One talks a lot when nervous between takes. Some embarrassing moments. Friendship and trust built over time. When it’s over, can they walk away? [submitted by @567inpanem]
Prompt 99: I want a smutty filled fanfic in d13 if Peeta wasnt hijacked and or captured. Are they in a relationship? How does this change Katniss’ relationship with Gale? What does Johanna think of it all? Does Finnick make fun of them but slap Peeta on the back? Does Mrs. Everdeen have an awkward conversation with Katniss about birth control? Does anyone overhear or walk in? [submitted by anonymous]
Prompt 100: Can be modern canon compliant divergent or whatever but with Johanna and Finnick and or Haymitch talking about Everlark and what they have or haven’t done yet. They all make a bet to see who is right and how far the star crossed lovers have taken there physical and emotional relationship. Extra points if Finnick knowingly smiles at Peeta or Everlark tells them who is right. [submitted by anonymous]
Prompt 101: Artist Peeta’s niche: option 1: pets - portraits dressed in period costumes with or without owner, or perfectly painted on sugar cookie, other medium? Does Prim want it, or does Katniss surprise gift it to Prim? Buttercup or Lady? In studio or outdoors? Is K indulgent or exasperated? option 2: uptight Katniss discovers that Prim had erotic boudoir photos taken of herself, and neither she nor photographer Peeta told her! She would have stopped Prim. Who is Peeta to katniss? Is Peeta insulted by what she spews out about his job and art? [submitted by @567inpanem]
Prompt 102: Peeta and Katniss are both made to wait outside the principals office. One of them in trouble for getting into a fight. The other ? Conversation started by the one not seething. As the hour drags on, they discover common ground and attraction. Suddenly, principal opens office door, and the moment is gone. Do they find way to each other at school? Or in big high school, do they happen to see each other years later under very different circumstances? [submitted by @567inpanem]
Prompt 103: Nonhijacked Peeta in d13 needs advice from Finnick about well, you know, how to fuck a girl. And well Katniss goes to Johanna or Annie for the same thing. Will Finnick and Johanna and or Annie tell each other about Katniss and Peeta asking advice? Will they purposely sabotage Everlark by giving them funny bad advice? Will they purposely and awkwardly talk about it at lunch with Gale there? Up to you but make it funny and hot [submitted by anonymous]
Prompt 104: Everlark before the quell starts to get intimate, when it dawns on them that Katniss doesn’t want to get pregnant and frankly, either does Peeta however this is something they want to experience. So what do they do? Ask Panem’s biggest heartthrob Finnick for some condoms. Hopefully when the victors have training the next day at lunch, Finnick hasn’t told anyone. Hopefully....😏 [submitted by anonymous]
Prompt 105: Katniss is lucky enough to be upgraded to First Class on a flight home to visit her mother and younger sister. Little does she know that onboard is one of Panem’s most important, and consequently, most handsome men, and he takes a shining to her. [submitted by @mandelion82]
Prompt 106: Peeta is a pearl diver/diver/oceanographer. He’s been looking for the perfect way to propose to his longtime girlfriend, Katniss, and thinks he’s found it when he discovers a rare pearl under the sea. The problem is, Katniss isn’t the only one who appreciates his find. [submitted by @mandelion82]
Prompt 107: When her boyfriend cheats, Katniss gets her revenge by making a pass at her boyfriend’s greatest enemy. She only intended to flirt with him to piss off her cheating ex, but things spiral out of control, and they wind up in a dangerously passionate entanglement. [submitted by @mandelion82]
Prompt 108: Everlark fall for one another over a blood transfusion. It happens not once, but twice. His blood runs through her veins, and now hers runs through his. What are the odds they would save each other’s lives? [submitted by @mandelion82]
Prompt 109: Haymitch as a matchmaker. Nuff’ said. His matches are always disasters, but one time, he gets it exactly right when he sets up his neighbors, a stoic girl with a braid and a lonely, blond baker boy. [submitted by @mandelion82]
Prompt 110: A group of bachelorettes/bridesmaids kidnap groom-to-be, Peeta Mellark, in order to convince him that he's marrying the wrong woman, and that he should, in fact, be with their friend and fellow bridesmaid, Katniss Everdeen. [submitted by @mandelion82]
Prompt 111: Peeta is a struggling post-graduate art major. He finally finds a place he can afford because the landlord cuts him some slack on the rent. One day, his landlord becomes ill/injured and his daughter/niece takes over. Peeta's instantly smitten with her, but she insists on the full rent. Will Peeta find a way to pay his sexy landlord? Can he also win her heart? [submitted by @mandelion82]
Prompt 112: Katniss's family owns a Mexican restaurant. Peeta and his friends come in, and he's immediately captivated by her. He keeps coming back, hoping to win her over, but he makes the mistake of inadvertently insulting her/her family. Can he make amends? Will she ever go out with him? [submitted by @mandelion82]
Prompt 113: she’s the man au featuring katniss and gale as the twins, peeta as duke, and madge as Olivia. [submitted by @thegirlwhowokethedreamer]
Prompt 114: Inspired by THIS picture I found - finnick understands Peeta and katniss' love for one another in his point of view [submitted by @everlark-always]
Prompt 115: Post mockingjay, everlark picnic in the meadow, with child or without whatever you feel I just want happy thriving everlark post war [submitted by @everlark-always]
Prompt 116: Hades Peeta and Persephone Katniss fanfic. Maybe Katniss is being abused or needs a reason to leave Olympus and Peeta provides that for her or Peeta just takes her. Peeta may bit of a douche or even dark!Peeta but the two warm up to each other eventually. [submitted by anonymous]
Prompt 117: Dark!Peeta fanfic where he is a stalker, kidnapper, or serial killer. But he does all of these things because it’s his way of protecting Katniss and ensuring they will be together. Katniss finds out in the end and chaos ensues [submitted by anonymous]
Prompt 118: Under the Tuscan Sun AU: Reeling from the breakdown of her marriage due to her partner's infidelity, and struggling to follow up a successful book release, Katniss's friends book her a trip on a bus tour through Tuscany, Italy, to try and help her move on. When she accidentally ends up buying a villa in the Tuscan countryside, she finds not only new inspiration but a new chance at love in the form of her blonde-haired contractor, Peeta Mellark. [submitted by @thelettersfromnoone]
Prompt 119: what if Katniss and Peeta didn't get interrupted by finnick that night on the beach in the quell? Would they have kept going? Would the outcome of the night change since that new relationship step where they absolutely would have refused to be seperated? [submitted by @everlark-always]
Prompt 120: In the blast in THG, Katniss loses hearing in BOTH ears - she's miraculously able to hear the announcement of the 2 tributes from the same district (maybe it's just super muffled??) how does katniss handle the rest of the games without her hearing? how is peeta able to communicate with her? [submitted by anonymous]
Prompt 121: Secret lovers!Everlark, aged 20s: They've been a group of friends with Gale and Finnick. Katniss has always been "one of the boys" and seemed uninterested with boys... until Peeta and she had this drunken confession night and they've been hiding kisses and touches since. Summer in a few weeks, they want to go officially together to their annual beach trip, and they start planning how to break it to their friends gently... especially to Gale whom she turned down in college. [submitted by anonymous]
Prompt 122: a day in the bakery with Peeta and Katniss ... could be modern or in Panem ... I’ve just been watching a lot of Korean cafe videos and I need detailed descriptions of cake and cute couple moments 🍰 [submitted by @rosegardeninwinter]
Prompt 123: wholesome late 1700s Austen-esque romance with local country pastor Peeta (a la Henry Tilney) and his pretty, windswept parishioner, Miss Katniss Everdeen (a la any Austen heroine) with the angelic singing voice and dandelion trimmed bonnet [submitted by @rosegardeninwinter]
Prompt 124: The war is over, Peeta has been home for 6 months and things have been gradually better between him and Katniss. Just as Katniss starts to realize how much she needs Peeta things begin to fall apart and he is quick regressing into the tortured Capitol mutt. The Doctors say there is no hope. Katniss convinces Beetee to break into Peeta's medical files and discovers things about Peeta's mother noone knew, especially Peeta. Can this new information be the key to bringing her Peeta back or will it destroy both of them. [submitted by @emazura]
Prompt 125: Peeta Mellark has just started school with a disability (physical, metal, etc.). How will his best friend, Katniss Everdeen, help him through the year and navigate bullies? [submitted by anonymous]
Prompt 126: The Wedding Year AU. K & P meet and start dating. Early on, they learn that between the both of them they're invited to a lot of weddings (for friends, coworkers, family, whoever), even in the wedding party for some. They decide which ones they'll attend, and these weddings are spread throughout the year. The thing is K has commitment issues and isn't sure if she's even the marrying type, so how does this year of weddings play out for her and P? [submitted by anonymous]
Prompt 127: AU - Peeta is has two older brothers, a loving but weak father, and an abusive mother. How can the older boys comfort five year old Peeta after his mother’s attacks? [submitted by anonymous]
Prompt 128: broken katniss post mockingjay - super depressed about everything and the weight of what she went through is finally sinking in with no war to distract her. Peeta comes back and takes care of Katniss - either Peeta Katniss or even Haymitch’s points of view [submitted by @everlark-always]
Prompt 129: AU Inspired by the Greek and Roman mythologies, where the Games take place in an amphitheater/arena turned into a labyrinth. How often do the games occur? Are there mythological beasts/mutts? How do Katniss and Peeta survive? Or do they not? What happens after they leave the arena? [submitted by @katnissdoesnotfollowback]
Prompt 130: Sheep herder Peeta and quiet seamstress Katniss. That’s it. That’s the prompt. [submitted by anonymous]
Prompt 131: okay well somebody’s gotta do the inevitable Everlark/WandaVision crossover ... but it’s gotta end happy or I’m gonna be very upset [submitted by @rosegardeninwinter]
Prompt 132: Katniss and Peeta are musicians writing songs about one another unbeknownst to the other. Specifically Taylor Swift's cover of Untouchable, Katniss writes about Peeta. Peeta writes Jump then Fall (maybe change it up a little) about Katniss. Please & thank you! [submitted by @lovely-tothe-bone]
Prompt 133: The victory tour is live-streamed and mandatory viewing for each district. What no one expected however, was for Snow to know Peeta was the words behind Katniss - the one he couldn’t control. When peeta starts talking about rue and thresh in D11, snow issues the command and everyone is shocked when a bang rings out and a red spot starts rapidly spreading on Peeta’s chest. Reactions and the aftermath! [submitted by anonymous]
Prompt 134: Katniss and Peeta in an FLR marriage, Peeta is bisexual and so Katniss has a lot of boyfriends like Cinna, Thresh, Gale, Finnick with whom they have sexy times. [submitted by anonymous]
Prompt 135: Princess Katniss Everdeen was forced to marry King Snow's son Cato, to ensure that the people in her kingdom didn’t die due to famine. Too bad she falls in love with Cato's personal sex slave, Peeta Mellark. But his time in the royal harem and that with the prince has made him too broken to even consider about love. Will Katniss be able to soothe his bettered soul? What happens when the king finds out? [submitted by anonymous]
Prompt 136: Katniss Everdeen never had a student as unruly as Peeta Mellark. She wants to spank the hell out of him. What happens when he finally submits himself to his hot and sexy bio teacher? [submitted by @everlurked]
Prompt 137: Millionaire Katniss Everdeen is a porn film maker. Too bad she has to hire, watch and edit two of the sexist man on earth Peeta Mellark and Finnick Odair having sex when she finds out that she might be having a huge crush on Peeta. But she thinks that they are in a relationship. Will she take a chance when Peeta tells her that he is bi and actually Finnick and him are friends, comfortable with each other to do such intimate things for money and not so subtly hints that he likes her too? [submitted by anonymous]
Prompt 138: Katniss realizes her feelings for Peeta on the train back and is honest with herself and Peeta about how real it was for her - the beginning of a real relationship after the games [submitted by @everlark-always]
Prompt 139: Young Katniss discovers a wolf cub caught in one of her traps while hunting with her father. They bring him home to heal and Katniss falls in love with his gorgeous blue eyes. He joins the family and becomes Katniss’ new hunting partner. As he grows, Katniss discovers the orphaned wolf’s secret. Werewolf!PeetaBonus: Jealous Gale (As friend? Hunting partner? Your choice) [submitted by anonymous]
Prompt 140: The west side of the village is surrounded by a vast forest that no one dares to enter. There’s a legend that states anyone who enters will die in the hands of the wolf that can’t turn back into a man. Katniss doesn’t believe this but when she reads a book, the curiosity gets to her and the only one that she could trust is the drunk man of the town. Witness her encounters this cursed being and how everything in this town isn’t what it seems. #werewolves #magic [submitted by @animekpopxx]
Prompt 141: Okay. So texting is wonderful, isn’t it? Katniss is thrilled that she can talk to people without actually talking, especially across the room when that one person you want to talk to is in a different conversation/group than you are. (This can just be fluffy, but as an added bonus, maybe it’s also a way for someone to get *flirty* - or more - with their convo, making her blush like crazy, and the people in her group wanna know what’s going on, why are you blushing..... Or even reversed where Peeta ends up blushing at something she sent. Though he would probably just grin and look up at her unabashedly, which she chided him for later because it’s a dead giveaway. OR! Katniss receives an unwanted text/set of texts from someone - named or not idc - and someone like Finnick or Jo, Gale, maybe Prim, or even Peeta - beast mode activated - sees it over her shoulder and loses their shit and starts taking over the conversation in a ridiculous and hilarious way, unbeknownst to the person responding, and to Katniss’ chagrin. Maybe even as a group, and Katniss just cannot get her phone out of their hands. (I feel like Haymitch, Cinna, and Effie would add their hilarious two cents here and there but also I have no idea how that would work. Idk. This is also known as “The prompt for something I want to write but I don’t write sexy because I’m an awkward turtle but I still want to read this”. You know. Thank you in advance to anyone who read this and/or takes it on.) [submitted by @everybirdfellsilent]
Prompt 142: An Eon ago, the powerful seer got sent a prophecy that shook the world where it stood. "The joining of the purest soulmate will bring the gift that will change the world." (Can be changed to sound so much better)Throughout the years, the prophecy has been misconstrued and manipulated to their owe benefit. Is Katniss the child, the prophecy warned or is there more to that? #Magic #Soulmates [submitted by @animekpopxx]
Prompt 143: Katniss moves into a new town for her new job when she catches the eye of the VP of the bicker gang. How long can she resist him and can she truly fit into his life? #HotPeeta [submitted by @animekpopxx]
Prompt 144: She has a night of fun before the start of the semester. She meets this guy, they hit it off that they sleep together. But when she shows up to her class the next day, she sees the guy again. But he’s her professor and he’s way older than she originally thought. #olderPeeta [submitted by @animekpopxx]
Prompt 145: She moves in with her aunt and uncle when her parents dies in a small town. After suffering through trama, Katniss slowly starts to get better with the help of her family (aunt, uncle, cousin) and the Mellark brothers. But when things starts happening to her and the people around her, it’s revealed that she and almost everyone in the towns are apart of the werewolf pack and that one of the Mellark brothers is her mate. #werewolves [submitted by @animekpopxx]
Prompt 146: Katniss and Peeta Mellark as the "Biggest Family of District 12!" #allthetoastbabies [submitted by @animekpopxx]
Prompt 147: An Everlark fic inspired by e.e. cummings poem I Carry Your Heart [submitted by @lovely-tothe-bone]
Prompt 148: When a wolf pup runs towards Katniss while in the forest calling her Mama, she doesn't know where they came from and how can she understand them? Is she going crazy? Who's the father? (Its the hot hunk that she meets a day later) #werewolves #toastpups [submitted by @animekpopxx]
Prompt 149: An Everlark fic based on the real life story of a kitty becoming best friends with a neighbor (I will post the video link in the comments of the answered ask). Is Peeta depressed? PTSD? Grieving? (Please no divorced/widow/single dad storyline though unless it's like adoption). How does Katniss ultimately bond with Peeta and be a healing light for him in addition to Buttercup? Tension tension tension. [submitted by @lovely-tothe-bone]
Prompt 150: Katniss + Peeta idiots to lovers, modern au best friends secretly pining for one another. Ever the dynamic duo and short on cash, they decide to participate in a couples study. Who's the therapist? (Haymitch?) At what point does the therapist assigned to them realize they aren't even together? And does the therapist realize one or both is in love with the other? Big bonus points for a "It's you. It's always been you." moment. [submitted by @lovely-tothe-bone]
Prompt 151: Pandemic!Everlark. It's their first zoom date and stressed out, overworked Katniss FALLS ASLEEP (maybe they were watching a show together?) Peeta stays on the line and draws her. What happens after Katniss wakes up to a sheepish Peeta with a breathtaking portrait of her? [submitted by @lovely-tothe-bone]
Prompt 152: Enemies to lovers modern au. Katniss emails her group of new hires the training guide to review before they start on Monday. Monday morning just before she's set to meet with the group of trainees Katniss finds an email from new hire Peeta Mellark, attached is the training guide. Completely edited and rewritten. Lots of fuming in their first meeting and total tit for tat hijinks ensue. Torture us with the rivalry please. [submitted by @lovely-tothe-bone]
Prompt 153: Best friends!Everlark who have always been in love with one another. Katniss is in a pretty serious accident, of course Peeta visits her every single day. He notices that every time he enters the room her heart monitor beeps due to elevated heart rate. He notices and finally mentions to a mutual friend (Madge? Finnick?) how it's sweet that she gets excited to see her friends, said friend rolls eyes and is like uh yeah ok "friend". Peeta's all what? Cue suspicion so next time he visits her he takes it a step further and gives little touches (brushes her hair back, strokes her cheek, grazes her arm? LET IT BURN) to see what happens. Sure enough her HR skyrockets. Tell us all the sweet and suspenseful details :))) [submitted by @lovely-tothe-bone]
Prompt 154: Soulmate au where your soulmates injuries and scars show up on your body tinted in their favorite color. Katniss through the years as she discovers new marks, pondering what it could possibly be, finally figuring out that her soulmate is being hurt way too regularly and in very specific places. Do her parents figure out Peeta is being abused? How do they find and "rescue" him? Or does Peeta live his whole childhood being abused before turning 18? Does he runaway? How do he and Katniss find their way to one another? [submitted by @lovely-tothe-bone]
Prompt 155: Just a really sweet meet cute of skateboarder!Peeta wiping out the first time he sees Katniss. Bonus points for her being a skater too.[submitted by @lovely-tothe-bone]
Prompt 156: Post MJ: Toastbabys perspective from in the womb throughout pregnancy. Bonus points for post birth moments. [submitted by @lovely-tothe-bone]
Prompt 157: Miscommunication. Katniss texts Peeta that she needs some 🥖. Peeta thinks the breadstick is a euphemism of her asking him for sex. How do things play out? [submitted by @lovely-tothe-bone]
Prompt 158: CF AU: Peeta gets drunk with Haymitch after the quell announcement. [submitted by @lovely-tothe-bone]
Prompt 159: High school au with popular girl, valedictorian, great at sport and then there is Peeta Mellark shy, awkward, sweet but not so good in academics with a huge crush on Katniss. Will she even look at him when she already has tall, dark and handsome Gale by her side? Typical high school drama ensues. [submitted by @everlurked]
Prompt 160: Katniss witnesses a potential crime in progress and gets in contact with law enforcement. Thanks to her tip, a travesty is adverted. But why did the perpetrator seem to recognize Katniss? And when did the baker’s boy become a head FBI agent? [submitted by @kiinghanalister]
Prompt 161: Katniss is texting back and forth with her older boss (who is hott and recently divorced) about a deadline. She's also bra shopping and taking photos to send to Johanna to get her opinion when she accidentally mixes up the recipients. She notices that she just hit send on the photo to Peeta by mistake (her boobs look amazing by the way, bonus points if it's sunset orange) Mortified she texts "shit, wrong person" What happens the next day at the office. Does Peeta think the pics were for a boyfriend? What's he thinking about during the staff meeting? Will Katniss be able to show her face? [submitted by @nightlock-1989]
Prompt 162: Peeta is actually the Mr. Mellark Mrs. Everdeen left behind to marry her true love when they were 18. They parted on good terms but Peeta just had to get out of town never knowing Mr Everdeens first or last name. 22 years later he returns and falls in love with frequent customer Katniss (who is of age) He brings out the playful side in her and she makes him feel young again. Katniss, who doesn't have a great relationship with her mother, doesn't tell her about the older man she's dating. While running errands, Mrs. Everdeen bumps into Katniss and Peeta, who happen to be engaged in a playful game of grab ass. Shock sets in for everyone. Does Mrs. Everdeen think Katniss is Peetas midlife crisis? Does Katniss' young age begin to nag Peeta? Huge bonus if Katniss freaks out because she realizes Peeta has fucked both her and her mom. [submitted by @nightlock-1989]
Prompt 163: Golden Age of Hollywood AU: Songbird Katniss finds herself signing a contract with The Capitol Productions, a major force in the studio system, after a casting agent hears her singing at a nightclub. Her first project is a musical with a handsome Capitol film star, Peeta Mellark. But while they agree to an engagement as fodder for film promotion, the fine print on their contract never covered the relationship becoming real... [submitted by @thelettersfromnoone]
Prompt 164: Peeta is a handsome prince, fleeing his evil stepmother, who has stolen his rightful crown. Katniss is a skilled tracker, taking bounties to send the money back to her struggling family. Will the well-respected hunter make good on the bounty, or will her heart have a different plan? [submitted by @thelettersfromnoone]
Prompt 165: Peeta gets with another girl after the war, while him and katniss are trying to be friends, thinking katniss doesn’t want him, but instead it only makes her insanely jealous. When she falls ill does Peeta come to her rescue or does he keep his distance to please his new gf [submitted by anonymous]
Prompt 166: Peeta moves into a new town. It’s a small town but so lively but things starts getting weird when he starts encountering dead animals on his back porch. Looks like someone found their mate and is trying to empress him. #werewolfKatniss [submitted by @animekpopxx]
Prompt 167: He knows where she is at all times. What’s she’s doing and who’s she’s with. But lately she’s been hanging out with that guy for his liking and he needs to teach her and show her that she belongs to him and no one else. Her whole mind, body, and soul. !DarkPeeta #psychological #thriller #angst #mightnothaveanicehappyending [submitted by @animekpopxx]
Prompt 168: One thing that sets this community apart from the others is that is a matriarchy. But a lot of surrounding communities want to get in. When it is Katniss’s coming of age ceremony, the prophet tells her that she has the opportunity to choose a first husband from the neighboring community. Katniss was set on Gale but he became the third husband of (whoever you choose). Will she stick to her community’s men or branch out and get new blood? #olderpeeta [submitted by @animekpopxx]
Prompt 169: A Capitolite veiwer perspective on the 74th games, maybe running right up to the first day of the Quell. Do they notice Katniss or Peeta at first, or is it one of the other tributes they like. How do the Starcrossed lovers creep up on them. Maybe reactions to Rues death, or the victory tour ( if you want to go that far) [submitted by @darkhorse-javert]
Prompt 170: Superhero/Catburglar AU: The jewel-thief Mockingjay has evaded The Capitol's superhero, Captain Strong, for long enough, and the Merchants of the city have started putting pressure on the hero to bring the thief in for justice. The only problem? The Captain is the alter-ego of teenager Peeta Mellark, and his elusive nemesis is his high school crush, Katniss Everdeen. [submitted by @thelettersfromnoone]
Prompt 171: IndianaJones!Katniss and JiltedLover!Peeta [submitted by anonymous]
Prompt 172: Secret Agent Everlark. Peeta and Katniss are undercover partners on a case in Istanbul (or what have you). They take names and kick ass. [submitted by anonymous]
Prompt 173: Peeta's POV in THG when he wakes up in the cave after Katniss injects him with the medicine to cure his blood poisoning, finding her in a very scary pool of blood. His perspective until she finally wakes. Canon compliant please. [submitted by @lovely-tothe-bone]
Prompt 174: Victory tour AU/deleted scene, Peeta and Katniss walk along a beach in District 4, in a brief moment where they are alone, and Katniss tells Peeta why her favourite colour is green, and anything else you think would fit nicely into that conversation. Basically just Katniss opening up a little more. Either Peeta or Katniss POV. [submitted by @emilia206]
Prompt 175: Katniss hits the force field in CF instead - Peeta’s reaction [submitted by anonymous]
Prompt 176: Peeta absentmindedly calls Katniss “love”. She doesn’t mind. [submitted by anonymous]
Prompt 177: Canon compliant Peeta's POV in MJ when the bombs go off in front of the president's mansion. [submitted by @lovely-tothe-bone]
Prompt 178: A story based on THIS tweet. [submitted by anonymous]
Prompt 179: Prompt based on the korean drama “Lovestruck in the City”. Peeta as Jaewon and Katniss as Eunho and the rest is up to you [submitted by anonymous]
Prompt 180: Capitol didn’t know hijacking but they left Peeta broken. He was sexually assaulted many times by Capitol buyers, both men and women. Will he be able to recover? How does it affect Katniss and Peeta's dynamic. Also Finnick plays a very important role in Peeta's recovery. [submitted by anonymous]
Prompt 181: After her parents death (possibly small pox?), Katniss goes to live with her mothers family. They accept beautiful blonde Prim instantly, but Katniss looks far too much like her Native American father. They sell her as a slave at auction to the Mellark Plantation. Even though she always works to the point of collapse, she is treated terribly by Peeta’s brutal mother. Does he help her keep in contact with Prim? or take care of her when the slave masters beat her? Does Mrs. Mellark sell her again? [submitted by @hope4hea]
Prompt 182: Canon Divergence Katniss gets caught hunting and whipped [submitted by anonymous]
Prompt 183: Katniss is really pregnant in CF and forced by Snow to get an abortion [submitted by anonymous]
Prompt 184: Horror-love story. Locals tell legend of “La Dame Mellark” who practiced Dark Arts, caused her family’s ruin, and haunts decrepit, facetiously-named “Mellark Mansion.” What if ghostly figure sometimes spotted in window and unexplained occurrences not her ghost but actually Peeta who survived fireball explosion with physical and emotional scars? Years later, Katniss new in town, either seeks shelter there, maybe looking for her sister’s missing cat? Is Katniss trapped or injured or on the run? Does her singing soothe Peeta when he slips from shy to explosive personality? Does he free her? Do locals storm property looking for her? Is Katniss the delusional crazy dangerous one who repels the attacking horde with explosion, then is soothed by gentle Peeta who promises to care for her because turns out Prim died long ago and Katniss never faced truth? HEA for them, maybe not for townsfolk. [submitted by @567inpanem]
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awhiskeyriver · 3 years
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AMELIAAAAAAAA, I have some more questions for Nightlocks (since you're still pretending that you enjoy answering them)
1) Which couple is the most likely to stay up talking until the sunrises?
2) Which character has the most distinctive laugh? (Like the sort that you hear across the room and go, yep I definitely know who that weirdo is 😂)
3) Which character holds onto Tupperware that is missing pieces because they're hopeful that the missing lid/bottom will just show up one day?
4) Who likes to rename their wifi and who keeps it with whatever it came as?
5) This one is for you: FML for each of the boys and the girls (or however you want to mix it up LOL)
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Fear not, friend because after that last question I can thoroughly say I DO NOT enjoy these hahah (just kidding, all are super cute except for the last >_> )
So hmmm let's see...
To be honest, I think all of the couples have definitely had nights where they wound up talking all night and then were like oh shit is that the sun rising? But to answer who is MOST likely....I think Katniss and Peeta. Madge is a huge talker so she was a strong contender, but Gale is not someone who can go without sleep so I don't see this happening enough to make them the couple who does it the most. Finnick and Annie are both pretty disciplined people when it comes to their sports so they also aren't pulling many all-nighters. But I can see Peeta and Katniss staying up to binge their favorite show that they're ONLY allowed to watch together, and then it slowly turns into talking and then they're laughing and talking until the sun comes up, haha.
Number two is easy--Madge. It's loud and when she really gets going she snorts. Any of her friends can instantly pick her out in a crowded room when she laughs because it is very much Madge™
Katniss is for sure the Tupperware hoarder, whereas Annie is the complete opposite and if one part of the set goes missing she immediately wants to throw it out, so Katniss has to convince her not to, lol.
Finnick would have a stupid but also hilarious name for the boys WiFi that makes both Gale and Peeta roll their eyes because they are very much "whatever, keep it as is" people. Madge and Katniss are also re-namers whereas Annie couldn't care less and would keep it as-is if it was up to her.
Okay...here's where I'm pleading the fifth because you're crazy if you think I'm killing off one of my precious babies! Smdh at you, @roxys-turing-machine haha
For the boys, I think it's a given I'd marry Peeta haha, he's such a sweetie pie how could I say no? And to be perfectly honest, Gale and/or Finnick would be a great lay so I'd fuck either of them.
For the girls, I'd definitely marry Madge. I love her, haha. I would fuck Annie because the girl is flexible and probably knows a lot of cray moves...but just because I didn't pick Katniss to marry or fuck doesn't mean I'd kill her!!!! haha
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seasonsofeverlark · 3 years
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Pumpkin Pie and Cheese Buns
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Author: @evestedic​
Prompt: Hard working coming home for thanksgiving. Stops at the store on the way to pick up the dessert she didn’t bother to make no one will notice anyway and runs into their ex lover. Tries to leave fast but has to take the walk of shame back to grab the cranberries too. Arrives home not just with the cranberries and pie…  [submitted by anonymous]
Rating: T
____________
“God damn it!” Katniss was not happy. 
It was Thanksgiving, which meant she was being forced to spend time with people she didn’t even know.
Why?
Because they’re family, Katniss.
She could hear her Aunt Martha’s voice. 
Why should she care that her cousin was getting married?
Or that her nephew had gotten into college? 
Or that her godfather was slipping her a 20 buck bill while winking an eye at her? 
She wasn’t a total bitch, so she bore with it, but this was people she saw one fucking time per year! 
If it wasn’t for Thanksgiving, she was sure she wouldn’t see them again as they never even called. Nor did she.
But, be that as it may, Prim loved big gatherings and the attention; she was, after all, quite cheerful. Her father also bore with it, although better than her. 
However, who knew? This year her mother was coming with her new boyfriend. 
Ugh, puke… 
And that was why she was there, November the 26th, coming back from work and on her way to Aunt’s Martha’s house. 
Katniss was not happy. 
She had already left the store not five minutes ago, but something kept nagging at the back of her head while she accommodated the bags in the back of her car. 
Of course, being who she was, she had forgotten dessert. The pumpkin pie with maple whipped cream. Sighing and fuming, she went back to the absolute chaos of the aisles. If she arrived at her aunt’s without dessert…well, she would rather face a biblical plague. 
After perusing the dessert stand and seeing everything was completely wiped out‒not even crumbs were left‒she gave up and thought about getting some canned peaches and cherries.  That’s when she heard it…   
“Is that you, Katniss?” 
That voice. 
She had loved it at one point. Now, it was just nails on a chalkboard. 
Turning around, she set her eyes on a huge blonde guy; he had a perfect gym advertisement body, a smirk on his face, and his arm around a blonde girl with the same perfect gym advertisement body. 
“Cato.” 
“Buying for Thanksgiving?”
“No, just came because I was craving some peaches.” 
“Oh.”
Seriously? It was the most direct sarcastic answer ever, and he had actually believed her? 
Katniss rolled her eyes and was about to turn around when the Barbie clone spoke. 
“Is this the one, babe?”
“Yes, baby, that’s her.”
“Oh, I thought she’d be…I don’t know, prettier?”
“She never wanted to put in the effort, baby.”
“She is standing right here. And if working out turns you dumb, I’m glad I didn’t do it.” 
Katniss had gone out with Cato for two years when they were nineteen. Back then, he had been a kind guy, funny and perhaps a bit silly, but very nice, normal. He had asked her out after a college party, and she accepted; the rest was history. 
However, after one year of being together, he began frequenting the campus gym and suddenly started to change. All he could talk about were diets, exercise, and protein. Katniss was all in for a healthier life; hell, she knew if she kept on eating Greasy Sae’s food every other night, she was going to clog her arteries by the time she was 35, but Cato was relentless. He got rid of all of her comfort food and she had been forbidden to eat chicken and meat ever again. Only turkey and fish were allowed, vegetables, no dairy or eggs, no sugar! She was going crazy; Katniss had reached the obscene point of hiding in the bathroom to eat a Snickers bar, only to quickly brush her teeth and rinse with Listerine at least thrice so that her boyfriend wouldn’t taste any trace of chocolate when he kissed her. It was that night when she knew she couldn’t do it anymore. She no longer recognized the guy she had agreed to date or herself, for that matter. So, Katniss decided to end it right then and there. She skipped her next class and went to their dorm only to find him banging the very same Barbie girl who was in front of her in the canned aisle right now. 
Quickest breakup ever. 
He had said it was her fault for not ‘putting in the effort,’ and she hated him for it. 
“Jealousy doesn’t fit you, Katniss. Well,” Cato gave her a once-over, “I doubt anything does. Have you gained weight?” 
“If I have, that wouldn’t be any of your fucking business. What are you doing here? Came to buy something for dinner? I think there’s a celery and mineral water pack on sale.” 
“Still salty because I chose someone better?” Cato shamelessly licked the girl’s ear, making her giggle in an obnoxious way that made Katniss want to gag. 
She didn’t have to stand here and watch this; she-
Was that a hand on her waist?
“Hey, sorry I took so long. I literally had to wrestle this from an old lady.” 
That voice. 
Peeta Mellark was holding onto her waist and smiling that charming smile that could probably tame a wild animal, while proudly presenting a ham to her.
“Um…” Eloquent as always. 
“Oh, sorry. I didn’t know you were with friends.” 
“Yeah, no…Not my friends.” 
“Aren’t you the baker guy? You’re slumming it with the bakery employee?” Cato laughed while Barbie‒Katniss really couldn’t care less about her actual name‒looked at Peeta appreciatively. 
“I haven’t introduced myself,” Peeta said, extending his right hand but not letting Katniss’ waist go. Cato immediately took it, flexing his bicep as he did so, but his expression faltered when he shook Peeta’s hand. “Peeta Mellark, owner of ‘The Cake Lair’. Have you guys ever been?” 
Katniss was confused. 
It wasn’t as if she and Peeta were actually friends. They had talked, yes. She simply loved the pastries he sold, and because of how she had raved about his cheese buns, well…the double entendre put her in an uncomfortable position, but he had only laughed and thanked her for the compliment, as he had, in fact, baked those himself. 
Peeta always made sure to set aside at least two cheese buns for her prior to the end of the day. 
And okay, yeah, they had exchanged numbers and texted from time to time, but nothing deep. It was always things about the weather, the cheese buns, or how Prim was. Did that qualify as being friends? 
Katniss was awful at being a good friend, hence why she only had two: Gale and Madge. Her sister and father didn’t count; they were family. 
Shaking her head, she returned to the present to find that arm still around her and Cato’s face getting red. 
“Just let go, dude.  You’re about to pop a vein.” Peeta chuckled. 
Katniss directed her gaze at their hands; she could see they were both squeezing the hell out of each other. Cato probably thought he could scare Peeta off with his muscles, but he clearly hadn’t seen Peeta shirtless on a hot day, hauling 100-pound flour sacks onto his back as if they were light cargo. Peeta was strong, like ‘I could iron clothes on your stomach’ fit; he just didn’t flaunt it, and Katniss appreciated that.
Cato huffed and let go, and Peeta smiled once more and winked at Barbie, who was giggling like an idiot. 
“So, we should be going soon if we want to make it, Katniss. You know how Aunt Martha gets if we don’t get the groceries in time for her.” 
So yeah, she had told him about her hellish weekend to come last week, but Katniss didn’t think he would remember. 
With his hand still on her waist and her still not shrugging it off, they made to pass Cato and his doll, but, of course, the bodybuilder felt the need to use the sole neuron in his brain. 
“You know you’re just a replacement, right? I mean, she went and looked for the next guy that kinda looked like me because she clearly can’t forget me.” 
Tuck your thumb over your middle finger to make a proper fist. If you wrap your fingers around your thumb, you’re likely going to break it. 
Her father’s words and the boxing lessons came back in a flash, and before Peeta could hold her back, Katniss pivoted on her left foot, momentum aiding her, and connected her first with Cato’s jaw. She wasn’t an expert boxer or anything of the sort; she just liked the exercise, and she was strong. But Katniss must have been lucky enough to hit the sweet spot because Cato dropped to the aisle floor, unconscious. 
“Babe!” Barbie girl screeched, and suddenly, two more gorilla-looking guys were coming to her aid. 
Friends of his, no doubt. 
“Tell your boy toy, next time he wants to bully me to think twice, lest he finds himself beaten up again by a woman,” Katniss spat at the blonde girl. 
“You did this?” A broad and tall black guy asked. He was actually pretty scary, but Katniss held her ground and managed to nod. To her surprise, he chuckled and sort of bowed to her. “He’s an ass. I bet he had it coming. We’ll take care of him.” 
“Thresh! He’s your friend…” Barbie girl actually had tears in her eyes. 
“He’s not. We’re just in the same weightlifting class. And don’t cry; he’ll come to soon. Finnick, help me bring this idiot back.” 
“You must have a mean right hook, hon,” the guy with reddish hair and perfect teeth told Katniss. 
“I do.” She jutted out her chin proudly; her dad had taught her well. 
“Nice to know you have it all sorted out. Katniss, should we go?” Peeta was pulling her a bit, and she let him, both soon finding themselves out in the parking lot, having decided to leave behind the cans and the ham. 
Once they were in front of her car, Katniss did something she rarely did. 
“I’m sorry I cost you your ham.” 
Peeta seemed surprised, but he simply smiled. “That’s okay. There are a lot of hams left, actually; I just needed an excuse to walk up to you.” 
“Why did you do that?” 
“That guy was an ass, and I know you could’ve handled it on your own, but…,” he leaned in a bit and whispered, “doesn’t it feel good to let him know you’re with someone much better now?” 
Katniss couldn’t help it, she laughed. “You’re full of yourself, Mellark!” 
“Hey! I’m a catch, I tell you. Owner of his own bakery, hard-working; I know how to cook and bake, and I’m easy on the eyes, too.” 
“Not to mention, tons and tons of humility.” 
“That, too.” He smiled, and Katniss rolled her eyes, but she really didn’t feel angry with him. She hadn’t needed his help, but he had offered it freely without expecting anything in return. “So, I guess this is where we part ways.” 
“What are your plans for tonight, Peeta?” Katniss suddenly asked, and he was surprised as well. 
“Uhhhh, not much. Bake something? Eat it while watching TV, nothing exciting.” 
“You can come to my Aunt Martha’s, if you want. Prim would love to see you, and this way I can repay your ‘act of kindness’.” 
“Really? You sure it wouldn’t bother you?” 
“If it did, I wouldn’t have asked.” 
“Sure, I’d love to.” 
“Okay, but before that, there’s something I need you to do for me.” 
“What is it?” 
“Can you drive? My right hand is killing me.” 
                                                °•. ✿ .•°
“Why couldn’t you just buy it?” Katniss whined.
“Because I actually enjoy baking. You should know this already.” Peeta chuckled as he handled the mixer. After a few more turns, it seemed everything was ready. “I just need to flour the containers now.” Peeta patted his hands on his apron and went back to the pantry. 
Katniss took her chance. 
She slowly inched her hand forward, her eyes not leaving Peeta’s back, just in case. 
Two more inches and-
“I swear, Katniss, if you’re reaching for that dough I won’t make any cheese buns for a week.”
“You wouldn’t dare!” she exclaimed, shocked. That wasn’t fair! Peeta hadn’t even turned around, but he knew what she had been about to do. 
“Try me, love.” He then approached the table again, watching a grumbling Katniss cross her arms. “You know you can’t have raw dough while pregnant.”
“That’s a stupid rule. I bet it’s invented. How did women manage centuries ago, then?” 
“Oh, I don’t know. They sometimes died intoxicated, so no biggie.” Peeta was serious now. 
“I wouldn’t die over a bit of dough…” She said it under her breath, but he heard.
Peeta sighed, and Katniss felt a pang of regret. Damn him. “Katniss, do we really have to discuss this again? It’s Thanksgiving, and I’d bet my bank account Aunt Martha would come down here and force you to go to the party if you weren’t so-” 
“Go on, finish what you were going to say.” Katniss knew she was so big she might be in need of her own postal code. 
“-tired. You’re carrying twins, and that’s not an easy feat. The only thing she asked for was the pumpkin pie with maple whipped cream.”
“Every fucking year.” 
“She indulges during the holiday.”
“Why not just get one from the bakery?”
“She wants it fresh.” 
“Why doesn’t she come down here and get it herself?”
“You really want your Aunt Martha here? Right now? Today?”
“…No.” Why did Peeta have to be so logical? 
“I know you’re crabby and your feet are probably swelling. Let me put this in the oven, and then I’ll massage them with some of that lavender cream your mother gave you.” 
“And a bath.”
“A massage and a bath, you got it.” 
Peeta, of course, fulfilled his promise and left Katniss so relaxed she fell asleep and didn’t even notice her husband had gone and come back from the Everdeen’s annual Thanksgiving gathering. 
By the time she opened her eyes, he was sitting next to her, reading a book. 
“Hey…did you all get a proper rest?” Peeta put a hand on her belly, smiling. 
“I think so, yeah; they just started moving.” 
“I can feel. Here, let me help you up.” Peeta’s strength was no joke. He could single-handedly lift her up, yes, even when she felt like a whale, and prop her on the bed so she could sit comfortably. “That okay?” 
“Yes, perfect.” 
“Happy anniversary, love.” He presented her with a huge cheese bun, making her laugh.
“Peeta, just because we fucked for the first time four years ago today, doesn’t mean it’s an anniversary.”
“For me it is! Come on, I bet you didn’t think we’d end up doing it in the bathroom that night.” 
“I seriously didn’t.”
“But here we are, and that’s all that matters.” 
Her husband really was the cheesiest person alive, but she secretly adored that part of him. 
“Shut up and let me enjoy my cheese bun.”
“Your wish is my command.” 
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theaudacitytowrite · 2 years
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You're such a cutie pie, Madge!!! 🥰
You know what that means? You can (and have ☝️) to be proud of yourself as well! Just as proud as I am of you 😌
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Responses from the Opera Screencaps Captioning Quiz
Hello, everyone, and thank you for taking my quiz! I had SO MUCH fun reading your captions-- there were several times I literally started crying from laughing so hard at the amazingness of your work! With that in mind, the captions (which I will continue to add onto as more people take it):
(also, thank you to @dichterfuerstin​ for translating the German captions I got)
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originally taken from: the Wiener Staatsoper’s 2020 production of Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart’s Die Entführung aus dem Serail, featuring Regula Mühlemann (center) as Blonde, Michael Laurenz (right) as Pedrillo, and an unnamed extra (left) as the Grim Reaper
Responses:
(Backstage warm-up) “ok so someone dropped the pulse”
me and my friends watching the fire burn after doing arson
Introducing the polycule to the parents
*boom* ... did...you guys hear that too?
Ma Signor !
Knight in whinging armour gone wrong, look at how he holds the egg. Polyamory with weird knight and death.
the father, son and the holy ghost are very gay
the gays meeting for brunch, 2021, colorized
chicken lady forces death and a very flamboyantly homosexual anthropomorphized pink bird to be parents of her egg (they dont want to be)
That’s just me and my friends on our night out (before covid rip)-- closest
A Good Friday night
good omens (2019)
["the pocket guide to boy/girl/mischief" meme] who's the boy and who's the mischief though????
Papageno and Papagena take their first-born egg trick-or-treating
Angry Birds - The Musical. A pig stole an egg and the bird unites with death to take revenge.
I love my bird wife
Someone got murdered during the funky chicken dance
throuple murders child and steals sibling of said child
When you and your friends have widely different tastes in literature
angel leading twink to his rightful place (hell)
draco malfoy from a very potter musical and a death eater are very much in the wrong show
What have I gotten myself into
Mlm/wlw solidarity but I’m not telling who is who
A woman stands with a pink dipshit with an egg and a reaper.
A bird-couple makes a pact with Death, sacrificing their first-born bird-child in order to bring good luck upon their unborn bird-baby
There are three types of people on Halloween:
Uh oh, I don’t think the mother hen is very happy about this...
oh god, they’ve invented seussical. It’s too early!
gay brunch
Three little maids from school are we
guys maybe if we dress gay enough we can distract everyone from the dead flapper bee in the back
those three killed a duck for her egg and are facing the conswquences.
Duck has egg with human, shocked and upset due to biological impossibility
When you bout to make a banging omelet so you invite your fellow queers
"No mortal man could pass that egg, but heaven shall repair your rectum."
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originally taken from: the Salzburg Festival’s 2007 production of Hector Berlioz’s Benvenuto Cellini, featuring Maija Kovalevska (left) as Teresa Balducci, Laurent Naouri (center, in chimney) as Fieramosca, and Burkhard Fritz (right) as Benvenuto Cellini
Responses:
“In this same interlude it doth befall That I, one Snout by name, present a wall; And such a wall, as I would have you think, That had in it a crannied hole or chink, Through which the lovers, Pyramus and Thisby, Did whisper often very secretly. This loam, this rough-cast and this stone doth show That I am that same wall; the truth is so: And this the cranny is, right and sinister, Through which the fearful lovers are to whisper.” - a midsummer night’s dream, act v scene 1
"ah yes a prime specimen. see here, right in this box is our one of a kind hob goblin that can be all yours for the low low price of your soul"
what, YOU don't have a special eavesdropping chimney window?
Hänsel und Gretel plotting against the witch
man takes a wrong turn and ends up in a chimney, catches his girlfriend cheating-- closest
when you end up third wheeling the straight couple
lady cheats on her leather jacket wearing scummy boyfriend and when he unexpectedly comes home she hides the lover in the chimney
A straight girl and her gay best friend gossip about stuff idk
Idk Shakespeare?
experimental couples therapy feat. the chimney mf from mary poppins
Area Couple Inadvertently Traps Santa-in-Training in Chimney as they Attempt Rooftop Flirting
Landlords laugh over student renter's misfortune
I never asked for this
Ay yo lil mama lemme whisper in your ear
voyeurist listens to sandy and Danny from grease
Psssst! Did you hear about Susan? You won’t believe it!
lady and the tramp meets beauty and the beast?
human trafficking
And for just $30 you too could have your own tiny brick cage!
Psst I’m wearing assless chaps under this dress
A couple tortures a man in a box.
It's all fun and games being stuck in a chimney until your greasy uncle steals your crush from right above you-- okay ngl this could actually be a great Don Pasquale concept
Taking eavesdropping to the next level
Will you two stop being lovey dovey and let me out? SUMMER LOVIN, HAPPENED SO FAST— 
overhearing how people talk about you when they think they're alone puts you in the shithouse 
Does he know we can see him?
dear god, i am so fucking hungry, yall please just do whatever heterosexuals do so i can go eat a popsicle 
the human version of the trash man from sesame street is realizing that those two are going to fuck on his trash can 
Tmw you capture an angry short dude and start trashtalking him where he can hear 
Omg what if we kissed but we actually kissed the lil goblin man under us
"Remember, don't feed him after midnight"
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originally taken from: the Théâtre de Capitole du Toulouse’s 2017 staging of Giacomo Meyerbeer’s Le prophète, featuring Leonardo Estevez (right, on fake horse) as Le Comte d’Oberthal
Responses:
“When I said we needed to drain the swamp I didn’t think there were people actually living there”
horse? what horse? no sir i dont know what horse youre referring to.
definitely don't have a napoleon complex going on
King stole La Scala‘s Lohengrin set
king breaks all his horses, has to use statue dragged by servants as transportation because he’s too kingly too walk
Emperor Söder and his subjects on a carnival procession
man on horse makes a big deal out of being on a horse
That’s not Zeffirelli because the horse is not alive
Who the fuck put a horse on the stage
isn't this that picture of napoleon on the horse
Area Count Thinks Citizens will be Intimidated by his Extremely Fake-looking Horse Statue-- closest
Everyone wants their turn on the giant plaster horse. Police are there to make sure everyone waits their turn.
Night out with the lads
Local royalty horrified at the state of his own damn kingdom
gay army fights different gay aesthetics-- hi author how does it feel to be the funniest fucking person on this quiz
Well at least I LOOK badass
ceasar if he hadn't gotten stabbed (colourised)
some soldiers jumped out of my kindergarten fairytale collection book to burn the don carlos flemish deputies at the stake
It’s just a model
Is that how you feel pulling up in your Honda Civic, Madge?
Someone rides a horse statue in public.
Just a normal party with the bros.
what is this, some kind of crossover episode? 
Terribly sorry for all the fuss, it’s just, that is, my horse is afraid of neck ruffles. I’ve tried to talk to him about it, but he’s—whoaaa there—he said he was a french courtier in a past life and he’s allergic to English fashion 
Horse seller, listen to me! I am riding into battle. I need your strongest horse. - We have horses at home. - The horses at home: 
All hail Incitatus the king 
we are not ripping off shakespeare’s henry viii. what the fuck. this is about lenny xi you uncultured swine, go drown in a pit of your own farts 
oh god is that hamilton 
Guy Removed From Art Museum For Sitting On Statue, more at eleven 
Gay <3
Officer: This horse... is a virgin! Crowd: *cheers*
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originally taken from: the Parma Verdi Festival’s 2017 staging of Giuseppe Verdi’s Stiffelio, featuring Maria Katzarava (left) as Lina and Luciano Ganci (right) as Stiffelio
Responses:
That One kid in class
its a mEntAL BreAkDowN *final countdown but kazoo*
*record scratch* yeah, that's me. you're probably wondering how I got here-- closest
Dad keeps monologuing, teenager is done
left: all of my concerned friends, right: my emo ass having a very public mental breakdown
the demons in the corner of my room when im just trying to sleep
lady gets mansplained to (do i need to say more, we've all been there)
It’s probably an area baritone telling off an area soprano-- sorry; it’s a tenor. soprano is right though.
That was a fake horse in the last photo right?
child comes out as gay to father at a particularly bad time
dissociation solves everything
I can't believe it's not butter
Honey we talked about this
My sleep paralysis demon is Crowley from supernatural
child has nightmare of boring job
When you start dating a singer but he won’t stop practicing at night
just an average day in a hetero marriage
what do i do my wife's having period cramps again
Stop having an existential crisis. It’s time to sing!
“No son of mine will kin Gomez Addams under MY roof”
Crowley stares into space while a teen has post nut clarity.
When he wont stop reciting jordan peterson monologues!!
Do you realize how effed you are?
Ugh, not this lecture again! Dad’s Practicing For His Experimental Indie Band Again 
asking your parents for help with your own personal situation and them just ranting off about what they went through instead of helping in any way 
Will he shut up already!
no one tell him he’s yelling in the wrong direction, no one tell him plnsbdjddhdj 
this kid is tired of his dad listening to rush limbaugh (a man who claimed to be pro life but died anyway) 
Me internally vs externally 
Daddy issues
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originally taken from: the Grand Théâtre de Genève’s 2020 staging of Giacomo Meyerbeer’s Les Huguenots, featuring several chorus members
Responses:
It’s the deadly eye Of Poogley-pie. Look away, look away, As you walk by, ‘Cause whoever looks right at it Surely will die. It’s a good thing you didn’t … You did? … Good-bye. - shel Silverstein
why the fuckith? my good sir, i beg of you to put your pants back on
I hate this itchy hat
Titanic Extras hear that they have to do extra hours
people waiting to board the titanic watch someone fall off the plank
pov: you’re a time traveler
guy in the flatcap is embarrassed by patriotism and pathos
No idea. For some reason Le Marseillaise comes to mind
Is this from Harry Potter?
disneyland main street usa workers on strike
local tries to hide behind Newsies cap to avoid unpleasant but inevitable conversations. meanwhile, some very fashionable ladies look on.
"Thank fuck, 2020 was just a dream after all"
“We gather here today because this bitch got exactly what she deserved” “heaven!” “Stfu Stephanie she’s going to hell and we all know it”-- not quite but this basically happens later on in the opera (and act) so yeah (except the person in question very much Did Not Deserve It)
dc movie filter on bridgerton
america?
looks like my history teacher paused the prohibition documentary again
Who still wears page boy hats bro?
Coming out to a room of people who Already Knew That
Bitches are relieved at some party.
Several drunk people exiting getting off the subway attempting to seem sober and rational but realizing they have somehow lost all of their possessions
How tf do I act natural in this situation-- closest
“do you think any of them noticed that I don’t know the pledge of allegiance” 
It's too fucking hot outside for this outfit 
?
when hyyh yoonkook ending just hits different 
pedestrians watch in horror as the triangle shirtwaist factory burns and the workers throw themselves out of the windows from a dozen stories up 
Starting the pledge of allegiance be like 
He's having a heart attack oh no oh god oh fuck
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originally taken from: if I remember correctly, the Semperoper Dresden’s 2018 semi-staging of Johann Strauss II’s Die Fledermaus, with Jonas Kaufmann as Gabriel von Eisenstein
Responses:
“William Shakespeare wrote: "To thine own self be true And it must follow, as the night the day Thou canst not then be false to any man" I believe this wise statement best applies to a woman A blonde woman Over the past three years she taught me And showed us all That being true to yourself never goes out of style Ladies and gentlemen Our valedictorian: Elle Woods!” - legally blonde the musical
eat ass, suck a dick, and sell drugs
woooooorrrrd
Finally Jonas has graduated! It’s about time, considering he’s an international star.
what my professors think they look like
Prof. Dr. Dr. When someone tells him there are more than two genders
'and since you've now graduated high school, you'll be entering college etc. blablabla' .........meanwhile, there's a whole row of graduates daring each other to chug the cheap vodka one of them has brought in gallons (yes that happened at my graduation, lol)
Jonas darling baby <3-- can’t argue with that
I just realized I have no idea what the actual fuck happens in an opera
ok this one is just what jonas kaufmann always wears you can't fool me.
"as valedictorian i will share with you the importance of loving the floor"
"Yes, mother, my art degree will make me money!"
Graduation speakers are out, singers are in
Senior year takes a new meaninbg
mansplainer professor explains the concept of feminism to women
Your Prof when you finally turn in that missing assignment be like
younger boris johnson (derogatory)
jonas kaufmann retires from opera and takes up motivational speaking
What a fine graduation evening we’re having today
-70 points for slytherin you all have no swag
A man with a college hat sings.
An obviously greying actor trying to play a university student in a low-budget porn parody
How it feels to graduate high school after being held back for years
East High is a place where teachers encouraged us to break the status quo and define ourselves as we choose. Where a jock can cook up a mean crème brûlée, and a brainiac can break it down on the dance floor-
I may not have been "cool" in high school, but in ten years you will all be working for me!
I finally got my GED!
that one guy in ur intro to cultural anthropology class who mansplains to the professor somehow fucking graduated
he;s just graduating and taking his speech too serously idk
Graduation speeches with that one dude who got held back 3 times
Smrt
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originally taken from: the Metropolitan Opera’s 2011 staging of Gioachino Rossini’s Le Comte Ory with Joyce DiDonato (left) as Isolier, Diana Damrau (center) as Countess Adèle, and Juan Diego Florez (right) as Le Comte Ory (disguised as a hermit)
Responses:
There is something very [disturbing grunts] About polyamorous couples - polyamorous, Chris Fleming
jinkies
femme fatale (including to herself)
I’ll have a threesome soon !
Hot guy walks by, everyone swoons.
thirdwheeling friend does not realize the other two are having sex
When your girlfriend had „just two beers“ again
jesus is exasperated about having to drag the two ladies towards doing what he needs them to do instead of purple dramatically declaring suicidal intent over the smallest trivial matters and red being equally dramatic about declaring that it's not the way! stay alive! i love you!!
The throuple is thriving
Get off the milf
orgy
my last three braincells because im a horny slut
countess receives too much love and is confused on how to react
Rasputin's lesser known romp with a much older czarina of russia
Woman's soul leaves body
Jesus and co. are worried after another woman gets pregnant without having sex
bisexual looks at photos of celebrity couples
When you go to the party to socialize with new people but your weirdo friend group starts getting clingy
Jesus cumming
one of those weird church christmas pageants but everybody's drunk
What have I done
Hozier??????????
Jesus assfucks some purple lady being hugged.
This time, the chick IS the magnet
An affair/threesome gone awry (2019 colorized)
What do you mean they canceled GLOW?
“I TOLD you it was cashmere!”
Are you wearing the - - The Gucci dress? Yes I am.
It's not what it looks like!
jesus is fucking that one cheerleader who grew up to be a suburban mom with one (1) super cool dress she stole from her kid who is desperately hugging her middle begging for it back because the spring fling is coming up and jason might actually make eye contact with her for more than three seconds.
jesus and mary magdaline and some other bitch
I’m at a bar and these drunk girls are flirting with me, do I lOOK GAY?!
Shrek 5, jesus's return
c. 2025 First attempt of an Officer and his Wife with a Handmaiden (colourized)
just about all of these are close lol
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originally taken from: the Bolshoi Theater’s 1993 staging of Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky’s The Maid of Orléans, featuring Nina Rautio (left) as Joan of Arc and Vyacheslav Pochapsky (right) as Thibaut d’Arc
Responses:
Don’t look, I’m still pooping
yall, the audacity of this man. he fuckin talked to me
*i can't even tell you how wrong you are* *it would be insulting to ME*-- closest
Cospeto!
„No I’m not talking to you, you keep cracking bad jokes!“ - „But I got another!“
when you’re mad at him but he says he’ll buy you food if you cheer up
When I’m wallowing in self-pity but my friends won’t comfort me
right: wanna fuck ;) left: yeah, fuck OFF lmao
Her face is screaming “don’t tell me what to do”
Yeah I got nothing
gay man tries to hit on a lesbian bc he thinks she's a twink. she's not amused but she's watching this happen anyway
me tired of MET's bullshit and them organising a Netrebko, known blackface apologist, a recital during Black History Month. (sorry im still fucking salty lol)
"stop smiling at me like that I'm trying to pout over here"
"I got fleas, you got fleas... wanna fuck?"
I have the best idea!
Haha nooooo don’t hit me with that bat you’re so sexxyy
lesbian is bothered by dilf
Me trying to flirt
if call me by your name was hetero and set in america
how many more dad jokes can i take before i explode
So. You’ve gotten yourself in a little pickle again.
What if we fought in the Russian revolution together ✨???????... unless??
Two people flirt in a poor place of town/
"If you ask me what I've got under this dirty, shapeless tunic one more time I swear to god I will kick your rotting teeth in"
You look like ur gonna kill me but ok
Really? You again?
Okay, I’ve been sitting here for 20 minutes, do you think it’s safe to—oh god, he’s still there.
Have you seen Godot?
she is tired of everyone’s shit. she has done so many derivatives it physically pains her to see a variable. dont test her. ur icarus rn.
idk pick better pictures-- I HAVE DIED THE SHEER AUDACITY AND HUBRIS I LOVE THIS
200% done with your crap 
Homeless man has fucking legs of steel n is gonna show off his Russian dance moves
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originally taken from: the Théâtre de Capitole du Toulouse’s 2019 staging of Paul Dukas’ Ariane et Barbe-bleue, featuring Sophie Koch (right) as Ariane and I don’t remember who the person on the left is rip me
Responses:
The knight who wore this into battle sure was swaggy
dear god its hiddeous
Capitalism
Knight in shining armour gone even more wrong.
ghost contemplates the safety of spiky motorcycle helmet
„Stop! He feels bullied!“
'this is my newest take for jesus's crucifixion crown ...... what do you mean they already put him up'
That’s probably a really expensive magic helmet idk. IDK-- closest
Omg I love the adventure zone!
minesweeper (windows xp)
"Okay whatever you do don't touch the shiny spiky ball" "It's so shiny I wanna touch it"
Taking down the trash way too late
IT'S NOT A PHASE MOM
Darth Vader got stuck in the freezer.... again. Leia isn’t happy
Star Wars 2030
“And here is the very latest in motorcycle helmet trends” “Look, I only came to the mall for a pair of socks “
futuristic kkk
long-suffering jewelry store attendant really wants to retire
Put it down put it down put it down
“Hmm no you should see a doctor about that”
A weird ass crown is presented
The creation of sars-cov-2: an experimental Eurotrance nightclub art piece gone horribly wrong
How it feels to want something that u cant have
AND WE WILL CALL IT—SPIKE MAN actually do you think that’s too obvious?? Because of the—yeah, because of the spikes?? See, that’s what I’m worried about. I want it to be SCARY
I know it's risky but... lube me up
?
use the force luke.
that is a weird fleshlight
When you get an ugly gift and need to find a way to get rid of it, so your family member/friend offers to smash it
Touch the orb
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originally taken from: the Opera Vlaanderen’s 2019 staging of Fromental Halévy’s La Juive, with Nicole Chevalier (left, with bottle) as Princess Eudoxie, Enea Scala (center, under table) as Prince Léopold, and Roy Cornelius Smith (right) as Éléazar
Responses:
When no one comes to your birthday party :(
fantastic, day 487 of mischief and they have yet to find my masterful hiding spot
i really wonder who he thinks he's playing footsie with
Marriage crisis. Reason sits under the table-- closest but not in the way you think (after all, the man under the table IS a tenor).
the last supper afterparty after jesus left
When you order the last supper on wish
espionage at the Politischer Rosenmontag
Probably the wrong opera but is that Leporello under the table
Now THIS is a Good Friday night
this was every birthday party i went to between the ages of 5 and 11
that awkward moment when you drop your fork under the table but when you re-emerge everyone else has left except one drunk lady and the guy trying to deal with her
After the last supper
Tfw you arrive to the dinner party too early and have to hide until a more fashionable hour
When the cishets aren’t home
waiter hides from customers
Nobody: My dog every time I’m eating:
what's left of the homies Jesus had dinner with
university chem lab experiment gone terribly wrong
I’ve been under the table FOR 30 MINUTES
Set your friends up by tossing them off under the table, they’ll think it’s each other n fall in luv
Someone hids under a table
"You're about to see an surreptitious-under-the-table-dick-sucking master at work"
5 yr old me trying to eat the desert under the table without my parents finding out be like:
They never invite me to their parties!
Just another girl’s night in
Oops! Didn’t notice you the table.
dionysus - bts (2019, colorized)
just a normal episode of eric andre (eric is the one under the table)
Just a normal day with the boys
Thievery
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originally taken from: the Théâtre de Capitole du Toulouse’s 2017 staging of Giacomo Meyerbeer’s Le prophète, featuring Kate Aldrich (left, surrounded by women in white) as Fidès and John Osborn (center, looking like a Jesus doppelganger) as Jean de Leyde
Responses:
Hold up, is that Eggman above Jesus?
holy disco
Looks like Tannhäuser. Our lord and saviour Richard Wagner. Now I need to be saved from that.
catholicism
me defending pineapple on pizza (THANK YOU)
jesus but hes about to be abducted by the alien ufo above him
Emmmmmmm Heaven? Idk
Lord of the rings?
ewww christianity gross
"behold, I am Important"
"Seriously?? It's not ACTUALLY pyjama day? Fuck you guys!"
Jesus at the Disco
Jesus Finds The Molerat People Who Live Under Bethlehem
disco is heaven
Want to join my new religion?
the kkk
church christmas pageant where everyone's sober but it's based on the director's fever dream
Am I the only one who sees the giant demon? Just me? Okay...
“Oh god I think I’m starting my period”
A party is held with a priest in the middle
"Let's get this secret Vatican sex party rolling!"
The new avengers endgame set is looking great!!
You know, guys, I try not to be a bother but...I can’t help but feel like I missed a dress code memo for this wedding??? It’s cocktail, right??”
Jesus visits Hogwarts
I must really stink if no one will even come close to me
the extra ass funeral i DESERVE
star wars life day
A cult at it’s best-- closest
Shrek 5, Jesus is still there I guess
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originally taken from: the Royal Opera House, Covent Garden’s 2013 staging of Giuseppe Verdi’s Les vêpres siciliennes, featuring Bryan Hymel (left, standing) as Henri, Lianna Haroutounian (center, kneeling in the black gown) as Duchess Hélène, and Erwin Schrott (kneeling to her right) as Jean Procida
Responses:
When the director’s like “great rehearsal guys, just a few notes before I let you go” but it’s already 9:13 and your mom’s waiting in the parking lot
loyalist of subjects
bow before your queen
They forgot to take down the stage boxes after the Vienna opera ball but the show must go on.
somebody forgot to book chairs for this funeral
Me sharing God’s (Hayley koyoko) word on the discord server
mass execution bc the oboe solo sucked ass-- closest
That’s too many black suits I can’t see shit
I can’t even tell what’s going on here
8th grade school assembly about how it's uncool to shit on the walls at school
let's all get fancy so we can go to the opera and sit on the stage (idk this one's hard lol)
"Yes i am a time traveller, now don't freak out"
Tfw you forget to pay your lighting bills
White guys make decisions that will benefit them and screw someone that’s not a white guy over-- OUCH but that is too real (although not really in context here)
dead man gives speech at his own funeral
brotus and the boys ??? last meeting before the stabbing
high society social function ends in mass murder-- right opera, wrong scene
Someone walks into the talent show stage with a dog
Black-dressed bitches worship a man.
Worst school assembly of all time
POV:You're the window in the classroom and someone said "its snowing"
When the conductor shows up fashionably late to the orchestra concert
That's what you get for choosing the cheapest ticket option, get back in the mud where you belong
?
theyre just trying to jump into a grave at a funeral leabe them alone this is normal
oh my god he really whipped his dick out in front of everyone, this is just like in 1776 guys, except some women are actually in the room this time,
A funeral, stop wearing so much black
I want to slap their bald heads like rice
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originally taken from: the Teatro Real Madrid’s 2018 staging of Gaetano Donizetti’s Lucia di Lammermoor, featuring Roberto Tagliavini (right) as Raimondo
Responses:
Crowd “haha!! Looks like someone missed the all-black memo!! Now it’s laugh-in-your-face time! / Guy on the floor (whispering to guy against wall): go, save yourself! I’ll hold them off...”
if i leave now i wont be a witness and can tell the police i had no idea
it was the best of times, it was the worst of times
Guy in the back pretends to help but is to far away to even know what’s going on.
priest walks in on beginning of an orgy, contemplated joining but is too scared-
when someone brings up capitalism but you’re just trying to play minecraft
lol lets trample this guy while the judge isnt looking
Again. Too many black costumes
Loved this Dostoevsky novel
i would know if opera directors were more creative with clothing choices ngl
me on parties lol
"imma just sneak out of here while everyone else is distracted"
"Where did he get this flooring!? Amazing!"
Everyone act normal!
The tell tale heart but they got REALLY drunk
man tposes to ward off vampires after being caught undercover
boys ???? night
the priest really shouldn't have visited the insane asylum-- closest
He’s FINE everyone’s been hit by a car before
Something happens in a room.
Perks of being a wallflower
There's always that one person in the fight whos trying not to get involved when they really wanna
Oh good, they’re all posing for a Rembrandt painting, I can just sneeeeaaak out the back here...
The gamer livestreaming Resident Evil + everyone watching the stream ? waiting for him to open the door just knowing it will trigger a chase scene
Quick!
the guy t posing in the back is regretting his every decision.-- also accurate
the us senate jumps ted cruz, some other wack ass gop senator is trying to sneak away
...I spoke too soon, however this is a James Bond mission
Queers help fellow queer do math but it's a struggle
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The Dance of the Color Guard, Op. 64 Ch. 4
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Katniss and Peeta used to be best friends when they were kids, but now in high school, they're barely on speaking terms. It isn't until they are forced together as the titular star-crossed lovers for their marching band's field show that they will have to face their past mistakes and try to get along if they ever hope of defeating the notorious Capitol Height's Imperial Marching Crusaders in competition.
It's all about winning and if that means pretending to be in love with Peeta Mellark, so be it.
A/N: Thank you to @rosegardeninwinter​ for editing and helping push me to finish! You are the best and any mistakes found are mine. :) 
Start at the beginning on Ao3: X
Ch. 4 Ao3: X
June
“Peeta really isn’t that bad,” Madge said for what felt like the millionth time. Katniss rolled her eyes and flipped the page of her magazine. Ever since learning that Peeta was going to be the Romeo to Katniss’ Juliet, Madge had been defending him every chance she got. “He’s really not. And he’s so smart, Katniss. Picks up on things real quickly. So all this moping around you’ve been doing all week is stupid.”
Katniss frowned and shoved her sunglasses further up her nose, preferring the screams of the children running around them on the pool deck to Madge defending Peeta Mellark to her once again. Was she being overly dramatic about this? Maybe. Was Madge right that Peeta wasn’t as bad as she made him out to be? Perhaps. But it still sucked and she couldn’t stop complaining about it.
“I know you’re Team Peeta,” she sighed, “but would it kill you to see things from my perspective just this once? Isn’t that what girl friends are supposed to do? Side with their other girl friends?”
“Maybe if you were right about him being a bad person, I would,” Madge sniffed, picking up her own gossip magazine to flip through. “But as of right now, you’ve provided me no evidence in support of your claim.” It was times like these Katniss wished her friend wasn’t the daughter of a prestigious lawyer.
“Gale sides with me,” she argued, pointing at her tall friend standing in line between two twelve-year-old kids for their slushies. “Doesn’t that count for anything on my behalf?”
“Gale’s an idiot.”
“An idiot you’re dating.” Madge stuck her tongue out at that, unable to refute her long-standing relationship with Gale and Katniss smiled. Of all the relationships she’d seen throughout the years—and band romances had provided plenty of weird, random romances, the weirdest being Johanna Mason and Melinda “Cashmere” Hewitt—Madge and Gale’s was the only one she saw that made no sense on paper yet made complete sense in person. The spoiled rich girl with a heart of gold and the rough-around-the-edges boy from the bad part of town? She never used to buy it in the movies, thinking the concept too ridiculous, but Madge and Gale proved her wrong time and time again.
Even when they had broken up sophomore year, claiming they were just too different, Katniss was still proven wrong because they couldn’t shut up about each other—griping about how she just didn’t understand and he always has to be right and I can’t believe I lost my virginity to that, a fact Katniss could have gone her whole life not knowing. When they got back together, it was hard to say who was more thrilled about it: the happy couple or Katniss.
“Come on, Madge,” she sighed, flopping back in her lounge seat. “Why must you always be the diplomatic one?”
“Someone has to be between your impulsiveness and Gale’s anarchy attitude.
“Did someone say anarchy?” the anarchist himself joked, handing Madge her lime-flavored slushie with a kiss on the lips for a tip. He handed Katniss her watermelon one and jokingly asked where his tip was. Katniss threw her three dollars at him with a “Keep the change” rebuttal. Gale laughed and pocketed the cash, lifting Madge’s legs up and over onto his lap so he could sit.
“So what did I miss?”
Madge snorted and offered her boyfriend a sip of her slushie. “Here’s a hint: it’s Katniss’ favorite subject.”
Gale rolled his eyes and accepted the drink. “Mellark again?” He took a large sip and winced at the sudden brain freeze, handing the large cup back. “God, I’m so sick of hearing about that guy. Katniss, get over it and move on already.” Even Gale was getting sick of her talking about it? Somehow, that hit lower on the pathetic scale. Gale was her complaining companion. Her bitch buddy. The person she reserved all her annoyances for because she knew he’d have his own trivial things to complain about. Hell, their friendship was founded upon complaining, starting in 8th Grade Science when their teacher kept giving them busy work to cope with the very public scandal of his wife sleeping with their school principal. They complained about everything with each other.
And now even Gale had said enough.
Well this sucked.
“Fine,” she said, not really feeling fine about it. “I won’t talk about it anymore.” Her friends looked doubtful. “I mean it! No more talk of Peeta Mellark and how my whole summer is practically ruined because I have to have extra practices to teach him how to dance on the field. And I’m not going to talk about how that cuts into my shifts at Aunt LuLu’s store, which means my spending money is going to be next to nothing by the time school starts. So if you two ever want to do anything more fun than hanging around the school parking lot, I guess you’re shit out of luck.”
Gale smiled sweetly at Madge. “I’m so glad she’s not talking about it anymore.” Katniss scowled and gave them the middle finger, causing them both to laugh.
“I think you both are very biased over this whole thing,” Katniss said after a while. Gale and Madge didn’t say anything, too focused on tanning and summer reading homework. That didn’t seem to stop Katniss from continuing. “You’re both too friendly with him because of classes and band. He’s gotten to you.”
“One of us is biased,” Gale said, “and it’s not us. It’s you. You’ve hated him for as long as I’ve known you.”
“With good reason!” she huffed, crossing her arms. They didn’t ask her to elaborate on that, already making it clear they were done talking about Peeta Mellark and all the annoyances he brought to her life, and she hated the fact that she did want to keep talking about him. About marching band. About the whole stupid situation. But she kept her promise and kept her mouth shut. 
No one said anything further until Madge declared herself starving and Gale suggested they stuff their faces with greasy burgers and fries at Sae’s.
**********
Sae’s Diner was packed with its usual lunch crowd—men and women from the factories nearby on lunch, sitting at the worn pastel-colored counter; a couple of kids they recognized from school goofing off in the corner booth, shooting straw wrappers off the straws; and a book club filled with women in their fifties discussing some brick of a book over coffee and Sae’s famous blueberry and cream pie sitting in the center of the small diner. The old woman herself smiled warmly at them when they’d walked in, asking if they were wanting the usual. 
“You’re the best, Sae,” Gale thanked as they waved and headed to their booth next to the front door. 
As they waited for their cheeseburgers and chocolate milkshakes, Gale chatted about some war movie he and his brothers saw that sounded god awful boring, no matter how much he tried re-explaining the plot to them. Madge and Katniss rolled their eyes and told him if he wanted to see the movie again so badly, to go see it by himself. “I’m not going to the movies by myself like some weirdo,” he scoffed, taking his hands off the table as the waitress deposited their plates of food and drinks. 
“Why not?” Katniss asked, picking up a french fry to dip into her milkshake. “I do it all the time.” 
“Because you hate people.” 
“So do you.” He shrugged, not having much to argue there, and picked up his burger. 
“So what time is Trinket summoning you tomorrow?” Gale asked, changing the subject completely, and tearing into his burger. Grease dripped down his hands and Madge tossed a pile of napkins at him. He accepted with a smile and slid his side of pickles over to her, something he purposely ordered more of because he knew how much she liked them. Madge happily bit into one, her eyes gazing at him with such adoration, Katniss rolled her eyes. Their coupling was too much for her sometimes. 
“I thought you didn’t want me talking about marching band,” she said innocently enough, taking a bite into her own burger.
“I didn’t want you talking about Mellark,” he said pointedly, wagging a fry at her. “Marching band is different. Less annoying and less boy drama. So what time does Miss Cream Puff have you coming in?”
It irritated her that Gale simplified her great dislike for Peeta Mellark as mere boy drama because it was far more complicated than that, but there was no point trying to explain it to Gale. He understood a lot about her, but when it came to Peeta… Well, it was best to let him believe whatever he wanted. “Eight a.m. sharp,” she said sourly, dipping another french fry into her milkshake.
Gale winced. “That sucks. Why so early?” 
“Peeta couldn’t get out of working his afternoon shifts and it was either that or not have a single weekend off until November.” She was still bitter about the change in schedule. Originally Miss Trinket wanted them twice a week outside of color guard’s normal rehearsal times, but with Peeta’s work schedule not being as flexible as Katniss’, she’d decided to make it morning rehearsals and make those shorter, which forced them to add another day of rehearsal to make up for the cut time. Now instead of having rehearsal four times a week, Katniss had five with her weekends full of shifts at Aunt LuLu’s shop for the extra cash she desperately needed. This summer was going to blow.
“I still think you should’ve been picked for Juliet,” Katniss told Madge teasingly. “You and Gale, maybe?” she cooed. “The true star-crossed lovers of Athens Ridge.” 
Gale scowled. “I’d rather drop dead than have to deal with Trinket when she’s in choreographer mode. She’s a total tyrant.” 
“She’s not so bad once you get used to her.” 
“Tell me what you think after dealing with her for a whole season, oh captain, my captain.” 
Point taken.
Much like at the pool, they talked for a bit about things going on in their lives—Madge taking some online French class because her grades last semester weren’t great; Gale’s successful find for parts with Thom in the junkyard. Katniss didn’t say much as she munched on her burger and fries, afraid Madge would lecture her again on Peeta Mellark and her inability to let things go with him. That and she promised she was done talking about him. But outside of marching band and him, not much was going on in her life. She felt a bit pathetic about that. 
Conversation picked up when Sae came over, asking how things were doing. The three smiled at the old woman, happy to fill her in on all the small details of their lives. Sae was the unofficial grandmother of the Seam. Always there to show her support for her kiddos. Her small diner was covered with pictures of sports teams she’s sponsored over the years, pictures of her and kids dressed in dance gear, holding certificates. 
“Did you hear the news about Katniss, Sae?” Madge asked when the topic of marching band came up. Sae was always interested in that, loving watching her talented kids play as they wove around the field. “She’s going to be our Juliet this year! Isn’t that exciting?” 
Sae’s grey eyes warmed, turning to Katniss. “Is that so? Captain and the lead part?” She shook her head in astonishment, her salt and peppered colored hair coming loose from her hair tie. “You were always so talented with those flags. I’m not surprised. Who’s your Romeo?” 
“Peeta Mellark.” The name felt lodged in her throat, but thankfully, it squeezed out without too much of a squeak in her voice. 
Sae didn’t know all the kids on the west side, but she definitely knew Peeta. He would often tag along with her and her dad on their trips to the woods, stopping at the diner after for hot chocolate and pie. In fact, his picture was one of the first ones you saw coming in—Sae and six-year-old Peeta smiling at the camera, her arm around him as he proudly held up his lost baby tooth. Her dad had taken the picture, she remembered, and if the camera’s lens had shifted a little more to the right, it would have also captured five-year-old Katniss pouting on the side, upset that he kept losing his baby teeth when she’d lost none. It was a picture her gaze avoided whenever they visited Sae’s, unable to stomach the sight of an old friend turned asshole, the memory of her dad’s laughter as he took the photo. 
“Oh, Peeta,” Sae chuckled, the familiar twinkle she always got in her eyes when he was around. The old woman doted on him when they were kids and he ate up her attention like there was no tomorrow. “How is that boy? Staying out of mischief, I hope?” 
Gale and Madge looked to her with knowing smiles, wondering what she would say. Katniss cleared her throat and looked down at her half-eaten plate for a moment. “Fine, I guess. We don’t hang out anymore. You know that, Sae.” 
She did know that, but it never stopped her from asking whenever he came up. “Aye, girl, I do. I suppose you aren’t happy with Effie Trinket’s choice, then?” 
Gale snorted. “Happy? More like obsessively pissed. She hasn’t shut up about it since May.” She glared at her friend and he shrugged, popping a fry in his mouth. “What? You haven’t.” 
Sae gave one of her warm, crooked teeth smiles. “Maybe this is the push you kiddos need to kiss and make up.” Katniss’ cheeks warmed at the mention of kisses, remembering Leevy’s comment how they were so going to have sex by the end of the year. She still hadn’t fully forgiven her friend for that suggestion.
“I’m afraid that’s impossible, Sae,” she said, her voice still a little strained. “We’re just too different.”  
“Ah, well. I suppose we grow in different directions sometimes,” the woman sighed with a shake of her head. A woman from the book club table called for her and Sae gave them a parting wave and smile. “Tell Peeta ol’ Sae misses her boy and that he needs to come in more. I haven’t seen him in ages.”
Katniss pointedly avoided Gale and Madge’s amused smirks, focusing on the burger in front of her. “I’ll be sure to pass the message along,” she muttered, taking a big bite of her food to avoid continuing this conversation. She loved Sae. Thought of her like a grandmother. But there was no way in hell was she telling Peeta that. No way. Then he’d think she was gushing about him to anyone who would listen, thrilled to be his Juliet, a role many girls at school would kill for (Probably. Maybe. She thinks.), and then his stupid ego would just get bigger and he’d be even more obnoxious to deal with. No, best not to mention anything and lie next time she saw Sae. 
A small part felt guilty at that, though, because Sae was like a grandma who wanted the best for her, and Peeta too, she guessed, but again, Sae didn’t know what happened between them. And Katniss wasn’t going to fill her in on their broken history six years too late. 
Her phone next to her plate vibrated, signifying a text message just came in. Wiping her greasy hands, Katniss frowned, picking up her phone. Who was texting her? Everyone who’d text her was either sitting right across from her or were busy at work or camp. The little text message lit up at her touch, showing it was from an unknown number, and her frown turned into a scowl as she read it. 
Hey!!!!!!!!!1!1111!!!!!!! the message read with a thousand typo-filled exclamation marks. God, who text like that? Trinket gave me ur ######## Hope thats cool. Thought Id give mine!!!!!!!111111 🤗 Ill see u  Mon dearest Juliet ��️❤️❤️❤️!!!!!!!!!!!!111!😘😘😘😘!!!111!!!!!! 
For the briefest of seconds, Katniss swore her vision blacked out. One moment she was staring at her phone. The next, darkness. Like her brain couldn’t process the simple text on her phone and chose to shut down instead. When her vision cleared, the message was still there, glaring brightly at her with those thousand exclamation/number marks. 
Peeta Mellark texted her. He had her number.
         Her stomach churned and now she feared that what her mother always warned about Sae’s greasy food would come true now and she’d throw it all up. 
Peeta Mellark texted her. It was truly official. He had her number and she had his and they were partners now. If she had any doubts about this whole thing before—as if she had dreamt the last four weeks of her life—they were wiped clean now. Replaced with this typo-filled text message from the very boy who hurt her. 
“You okay?” Madge asked.
Katniss nodded and clicked out of the message, tossing the phone into her bag. She’d deal with it later.
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keelywolfe · 3 years
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FIC: Welcome to Backwater ch.12 (spicyhoney)
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Summary:  Stretch has some wheels now and he has directions, now he only needs to start down the path!
Read ‘Down the Garden Path’ on AO3
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Read it here!
~~*~~
Stretch’s good mood lasted right about as long as it took to get back to the store. Not that he replaced it with a bad mood, nah, he was still pretty darn cheerful. But now that paybacks were done, it was time to put on his working hat, so to speak. To begin with, his new bike needed a thorough checking over; a skeleton could not travel on wheels alone, not unless he went back for roller skates. He needed to make sure the rest of the bike would get him to where he needed to go, too.
There was a ramshackle garage squatting behind the store, the siding a grungier match to the building up front and the cracked windows too filthy to peer inside. The roll-up door was rusted shut, but the side door was unlocked. Stretch opened it a crack and dared to look inside, braced for anything. Bats, rats, creepy crawlies, who the hell knew what grew inside the sheds in a town with possibly man-eating corn.
If there were any beasties, crawly or otherwise, they stayed hidden behind the wispy cobwebs or in their holes. What he did find was a lot of junk, piled in heaps, spilling out of bins and stacked on shelves. There was enough crap that if Red wanted, he could start a side business as a resale shop and give Miss Maggie some competition, mysterious message from the oracle not included, although tetanus was still on the table.
As curious as some of the objects were, and damn, he could stir up some trouble on the /whatisthisthing reddit with all this, now was not the time for distractions from the main questline, not when victory was in sight.
It didn’t take too much rummaging to find a bike pump and a small metal toolbox that for a wonder, actually had tools in it. He carried both back into the sunshine where the patient was waiting and got to work.
Stretch was never going to earn a paycheck as a handyman, but he did know a little about bicycles. Chara had one and so did their friends and he’d gotten suckered into helping with maintenance a few times by a set of big brown eyes pleading their case. Even had his own bike back home, though it hadn’t been used in a long time. A nice little ten speed with glittery orange paint and a thick padded seat to make up for his lack of pillowy booty surrounding his tailbone. Once upon a time, that bike got pretty decent amount of use, but that fairytale wasn’t one he wanted to get into right now.
This old rattletrap had exactly two speeds; go and stop. The tires were a little bald, but luckily, they took air without issue. The chain was rusty, but it responded readily to some WD-40 lubing and a little foreplay, the tramp. He checked all the bolts and sprockets, wiped off the seat and the little wire basket, and for good measure, gave the horn a good squeeze, setting off a hoarse ‘awooga’ into the still afternoon. Height was a bit of an issue, Stretch wasn’t ever gonna earn the nickname ‘short stuff’, not unless the next fairytale he stumbled into was Jack and the Beanstalk, but he managed to get the seat up enough that he wouldn’t jam himself in the chin with a knee.
Once he was done, he wheeled the bike out to the road and gave it a test drive, tooling up and down the main road. It worked fine, the tires crunching over the gravel, and when he gave the horn a honk as he sailed past Mama’s, he could see people looking through the windows at him, some of them raising their hands in a wave.
He turned around past the sheriff’s and headed back, pedaling slowly. The inkling of an idea was taking hold at the back of his mind, winding its way in like paint dripping down a wall and puddling in his brain pan. Yeah, the bike was fine and all, but he’d been ‘fine’ pedaling along back in Ebott, hadn’t he. Taking little rides in the traditional manner on his shiny, fancy bike that he hadn’t bought and didn’t use the other nine speeds on.
Well, he wasn’t in Ebott anymore, and maybe fine wasn’t good enough. All things could use a little improvement, right, even bikes.
Decision made, he headed back to the shed. He didn’t know if any of this crap was Red’s (and seriously, what was that thing with the handles and the springs, it looked like an eggbeater on steroids) or if it’d been here when he moved in, but it was all covered with enough dust that there probably wasn’t anyone around to mourn the loss. The rolling door responded to a tickle and grope of WD-40 as well as the bike chain had and Stretch ran it up, forging his way through the trash jungle. He managed to clear out enough space to haul out the bulky item he’d noticed early partially hidden under a drop cloth and got to work.
By the time he was nearly done, he was sweaty and filthy, but about ready to celebrate his triumph and thank the Academy. He’d shed his t-shirt, using it instead as a rag to wipe his forehead and if anyone spotting him as they walked down the sidewalk had a problem with his bare bones, no one made a fuss about it like they would have back in Ebott. There was a whole Karen Brigade back there worried about nudity and Monsters, seriously, those people would force a moldsmal into some boxer shorts if they had a chance.
He glanced up at the bang of the side door closing to see Red and the dog headed his way. Red was carrying a brimming glass of iced sweet tea as he limped along. He cursed with colorful flair as the dog danced its way in front of him, making him slop tea over his fingers as he tried not to trip himself with his own cane. He aimed a halfhearted kick at the dog that missed by a mile. The dog only barked gleefully, darting over to Stretch, tongue at the ready for a taste test to verify Stretch was as yummy today as he’d been last night.
Stretch only laughed and tried to hold the dog back in a feeble effort to avoid those eager licks. “easy, pal, you saw me a couple hours ago!”
“he probably don’t remember, mutt has a brain the size of a peanut,” Red growled. He handed it over the tea wordlessly, giving the newly-redesigned bike a once-over as Stretch gulped it down gratefully.
“what the hell are you up to out here?” Red asked. He paused by the remains of the push lawnmower that was laid open like an autopsy, poking it absently with his cane, “and what happened here?
“i…uh…may have borrowed the engine,” Stretch admitted sheepishly.
“borrowed,” Red snorted. “uh huh. seen this kind of borrowing before, usually turns into keepsies right quick.”
“i can put it back—” Stretch started uncertainly. Red waved him off, watching in bemusement as the dog took advantage of the distraction to lick right into Stretch’s mouth and left him sputtering in disgust.
“nah, ain’t used the damn thing in ages,” Red said. “i pay a local kid to mow these days. may as well donate the innards before it gets buried.”
No surprise there. Even after last night's stormy weather tantrum, the ground had dried right up again in the morning sunshine. The mud puddles all dried into cracked divots and whatever grass was left was a charming shade of dead. Walking across it was like taking a stroll through a giant bowl of shredded wheat,
Red wandered back to the bike, his browbone slowly rising as he examined it. “you get that from old madge?” he asked neutrally.
Stretch closed his sockets briefly to block him out. The glass in his hand was down to rapidly melting ice cubes and dripping with condensation. He pressed to cool surface to his forehead, letting the cold wetness soothe him as he said, "okay, what. what's wrong with it.”
Red gave him a startled look, “huh?"
“no, i mean it,” Stretch said insistently. “don’t blow smoke up my ass, what's wrong? do purchases from her come with a darker, deeper price unknown? is all her shit haunted? does riding it commit my soul to the forces of evil? if I rub it does a genie come out, what?” He waved a hand at the possibly monster bike and not the kind of Monster listed on his personal I.D. “tell me now, don’t play sphinx with me, not today.”
Red snorted loudly and pulled out a little cylinder from his pocket. He shook out a toothpick and stuck it between his teeth. “nah, but it might break on ya two miles down the road.” His grin turned wolfish. “getting a little paranoid, dontcha think, city boy?”
“no,” Stretch said, shortly.
Red only chuckled. “only thing wrong with that bike is what you frankensteined onto it. hope that thing actually runs or blowing smoke up your ass is gonna be the least of your problems.”
“it’ll run.” Okay, so he was about 95% sure it was gonna run. Maybe 90%. The engine he’d scavenged from the old lawnmower was strapped to the package carrier on the back of the bike, hooked up to the back wheel with a few extra gears and chain he’d dug out of the garage and he’d jerry-rigged a sort of throttle to the handlebars. It wasn’t pretty, but he was sure it would run without blowing up. Pretty sure.
Sure enough to give it a try, anyway.
“uh huh,” Red rolled the toothpick to the other corner of his mouth with his tongue, neat trick around those sharky teeth of his. “where ya think your headed on that death trap, anyway?”
Yeah, okay, that brought him up short. Aside from warning him off of any booty calls, (not that Stretch was looking for any shape of booty and sure as hell wasn’t taking any calls), Red had been pretty mum when it came to opinions about him hanging out with Edge. Stretch wasn’t under any illusions that Red was unaware of the happenings in town and not only because Edge probably damn well called him so they could keep their mystery woo woos on the same frequency. Red seemed like he knew all the local gossip, hell, he was probably the unofficial town bookie, who knew what he got up to on those weekend poker games?
But Edge was Red’s baby brother and as a big brother himself, Stretch was pretty sure he’d have some mighty strong opinions on Blue inviting someone like him out for pie, much less inviting them home to meet the family. No prospects, nothing ahead of him in life. Hell, he wasn’t even wearing underwear.
And anyway, like he had any right to any fucking opinions about Blue’s life after the way he left—nope, not going there right now.
So, yeah, it wasn’t that he didn’t want to admit he was going to see Edge, except how he really didn’t. He didn’t want to see any disappointment on Red’s face or distaste or…or whatever ‘dis’ might sprout up and if Red told him to leave his bro alone, told him not to go, Stretch wouldn’t, he would never, he owed Red so much, owed him in ways Red didn’t even know about, but—but—
His mental waffling took far too long, and Red was unfortunately just as clever as Stretch feared or maybe it was the simple fact that the options of where someone could go in this town on a motorized bicycle was a pretty short list. One corner of Red’s mouth curled up in a half-smile. “headed out to the farm, huh.”
Stretch struggled with an answer and didn’t manage anything better than the obvious, “i think so?” he said meekly, “i mean, edge sort of invited me. not invited invited, it’s not like a date, not that i wouldn’t date him, except you know, i wouldn’t because it’s a bad idea right now like you said, but he said i should meet his roommate and that I’d have to go to his house to do it and—" Stretch broke off to gasp for breath and his ‘fuck, please kill me to shut me up’ was left unspoken.
“okay, okay, ease down on the gas there. you must think i'm missing my wits on top of my foot.” Red snorted. “go wherever you want, kid, don’t make me no nevermind.” The dog was settled into Stretch’s lap, sound asleep and drooling enthusiastically, and Red leaned over to give him a pat, then struggled back up to give Stretch a similar one on top of his skull. He glanced at the bike again and asked speculatively, “’bout how fast you figure this hunk a junk can go?”
“not sure,” Stretch admitted, “not too fast. maybe twelve miles an hour?”
“that a fact,” Red spat the toothpick into the dust and sucked loudly on his teeth. “hang on a mo’.” He limped through the open garage door and the sound of brisk rummaging echoed out. When he came back, grinning triumphantly, it was a bicycle helmet in hand. It was leopard-spotted, only that hideous pink-and-purple shade never graced any beast Stretch ever heard about. Perched on the top of the helmet were a pair of slightly bedraggled plastic cat ears and Stretch took it as solemnly as if he’d been handed Excalibur itself. Beggar vs chooser? Not him.
Red stuck his hands in his pockets, his cane hooked over his elbow as he rocked unsteadily on his heels, “well c’mon, then, start ’er up. i can’t stand out here forever, someone’s gotta mind the store.”
“oh!” Stretch gave the back door a guilty look, “shouldn’t you head in, someone might loot the register or something.”
“no one steals from my shop.” Coolly assured and yeah, Stretch believed it, and not only because the townsfolk were good people.
Stretch pushed the dog off his lap, ignoring its pitiful whine, and went to the bike. Here was the moment of truth. He gave the primer button a few pushes, then yanked the pull cord as hard as he could. It didn’t catch the first time, or the second, but on the third it sputtered a few times, coughed out a cloud of black smoke, then caught, puttered evenly along.
“see!” Stretch said triumphantly, speaking loudly to be heard over the blatting noise. “it didn’t blow up!”
“don’t know if that’s as reassuring as you seem to think, kid,” Red called back, but his grin was easy, “you know how to get there?”
Stretch cut the engine. He snagged his dirty t-shirt and made a fruitless attempt at wiping the grease off his hands. “down the exchange for about a mile, hang a left, don’t stray from the path.”
“s’right,” Red nodded, “you leave soon, you'll get there right around suppertime and that’s always a good time to show up on my bro’s doorstep.”
“thanks, red,” Stretch said gratefully, “thank you.”
“don't thank me yet. and kid?” Red’s crimson gaze seemed to bore into him, “whatever you see or hear, don't you leave that path."
Well, Stretch should’ve known he wasn’t getting out of here without at least a vaguely cryptic warning.
“i won’t, promise.”
Red nodded and started the slow trudge back to the store. The dog roused himself enough to follow along, tail wagging happily. Red paused at the door and called back, “tell the kid i said hi.”
“i will, but didn’t you just see edge this morning?” Stretch asked curiously.
“didn’t mean him.” Before he could ask, Red was gone back inside with a bang of the screen door, taking both dog and answers with him.
Welp, chasing after him was pointless and anyway, that question would be answered as soon as he got to Edge’s place, which it seemed he now had Red’s unofficial approval to visit. Stretch couldn’t help grinning and he hugged himself tightly, managing to smear even more grease on his bones.
Yeah, okay, he needed at least five minutes for a quick wash up before he headed out or the woods would be the least of his worries. Edge and his roomie would kick him and his stank right back out to the road before he could make it to the porch.
Stretch left the bike and his mess where it was, promising himself guiltily to handle the junk cleanup tomorrow as he headed in to wash and change, and he did not spend an extra minute considering what t-shirt would make the best first impression for the unknown roommate.
He really didn’t.
~~*~~
The first thing Stretch figured out as he started on his journey was that it was honestly a nice day for a ride. Overhead the sky was an endless blue with only a few careless puffy clouds that had no interest in interfering with the affairs of the sun. The blowing wind wasn’t afraid though, it chased away the heat, and that combined with the blatting engine made it impossible to hear much of anything.
Not that there was much to hear. He stayed off the actual road, keeping to the wayside so as not to distract any of the cars as he puttered his way along.
The directions weren’t exactly complex, only one turn that he knew of, right into the woods. Stretch found it easily enough, the paved road vanishing into dust and gravel that led into the trees.
That was where he paused, easing off the throttle and putting his feet down as he looked at the entrance.
It was only trees, their tall, sturdy trunks reaching up towards the sky and the wide, green spread of their leafy branches casting the path in shadows. There were a pair of tire ruts in the path which meant someone drove it regularly and not just Edge’s motorcycle.
Only trees, that was all. Right, just like it’d only been corn, and Stretch didn’t move, sitting there with the engine blatting cheerily and the blue sky watching over him as he waited here on the cusp of…what? Fate? Or fatality?
There was only one way to find out.
Behind him, a couple trucks zoomed on past on their way down the exchange, either heedless of his inner turmoil or foolishly assuming he knew what he was doing and honestly, he wasn’t sure he’d known what he was doing for years now.
His concerns weren’t all simply about traveling in these woods, either, despite them being the same ones Red warned him away from and no less than two people went off with the cryptic about not straying from the path. No, there was also the fact he was gonna be meeting Edge’s unknown roommate to ask questions about some of the mysteries of this place and he’d be lying if he didn’t attribute a nervous butterfly or two to that.
The blat of a horn nearly sent him leaping right out of his shorts and when he jerked around, barely catching his balance before both he and the bike spilled into the dust, he saw a group of Humans in the back of a pickup truck waving at him and probably laughing at his helmet.
He waved back, unable to help a sheepish grin, and then turned back to the path. The trees only rustled softly in the light breeze, branches lightly swaying. It didn’t seem scary and hell, he knew scary. Scary was the first time he stepped out into the sunlight after a lifetime beneath a mountain and scary was another first step, much more recently, this time onto a Greyhound bus.
“fuck it,” Stretch said, aloud. He goosed the throttle, the bike lurching forward into the woods, and the trees swallowed him up.
Only not really, not even close. Stretch really didn’t know what he’d really been expecting. That maybe he’d come across a little gal in a red hood with a picnic basket for grandma heading down the path? Or he’d stumble over some kids with a nasty stepmother backstory on a stroll, scattering breadcrumbs along the way?
Neither of those things came true. (Although if Edge and his roommate lived in a gingerbread house, he was done. He was turning his putt-putt mobile around and heading right out of this fairy tale, tout suite, and into another story. Maybe he’d see if Red’s swashbuckler needed a first mate.)
There was nothing out of the ordinary, not even the creepy vibes that the corn had given him. The woods seemed no different than wandering through the city park in Ebott.
It was a lot cooler here in the woods, not only from the speed breeze. The heavy branches were also shielding him from the overpowering heat of the sun overhead, shading him in cooling green. There were squirrels and birds darting around overhead, unperturbed by his puttering little engine-that-could, and once a deer even crossed the road in front of him, pausing to stare unafraid with large liquid eyes before heading back into the scrubby underbrush.
Hell, if he was honest, Stretch was almost disappointed. Not that he’d wanted anything to happen, he didn’t exactly relish the idea of Red having to make that search party to find his dumb ass.
But after all those warnings, he’d sort of expected something to happen, a little trouble of some kind to be peeking out from behind the trees. Then again, he’d heeded those warnings, hadn’t he, it was always the disobedient types who got turned into frogs or had flower petals spill from their mouths when they talked, wasn’t it. His interest in adventure was definitely on the other side of the scale over his desire not to spit slugs or something, so he was erring on the side of not borrowing trouble.
His disappointment in the woods vanished completely though as he came up on what Red had so quaintly referred to as ‘the farm’.
The dinky path rounded a curve, the trees opening up into a clearing, and Stretch could only stare, dumbly easing down on the throttle until the bike slowed to a stop.
Well, it looked like all his expectations were taking a trip through the funhouse today, now didn’t it.
After seeing Red’s place, he hadn’t really been thinking much about the state of Edge’s homestead, what was there to consider, anyway? It was a cabin in the woods…on a farm…okay, so his logic was a little thin, he hadn’t prepped his anticipation very well on the journey. But whatever he’d imagined paled in comparison to reality.
The actual house looked like a log cabin, sure, but one that took a nibble from Alice’s ‘eat me’ cake. It was huge, with large windows shuttered in green beneath a wide, gabled roof trimmed in scrolling eaves, and a covered porch lined with cozy rocking chairs circling the first floor. Flat stones made a winding walkway that led to the front door and there were flowers lining the path in a riot of brilliant, ankle-high colors. Smoke was curling from the rooftop despite the overall warmth of the day and it scented the air with the welcoming aroma of woodsmoke.
The overall effect was one of one of invitation and Stretch was immediately suspicious of it; not a gingerbread house, no, but that didn’t mean there wasn’t a witch inside.
Then the door opened and all the doubts flitting through Stretch’s mind dissolved into impossible static. He could only stare numbly at the person that darted down the path towards him, their hair bouncing beneath their chin as they scampered down the path because it was…it was impossible.
A young human, maybe only a couple years younger than him, and they looked so much like Chara it was downright disturbing, the resemblance taking a detour from possible siblings right into uncanny valley. So much like Chara, only, Chara was just a kid, a kid, and this person who couldn’t be Chara, could not be, but looked as if they’d aged like fine wine since he’d last seen them. Or maybe curdled like old milk.
“Hello, Stretch,” they said, warmly, those familiar eyes shining, and their smile was as bright as the sun that was hidden behind the trees, “Welcome to our home.”
~~*~~
tbc
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sylvieeee5 · 3 years
Text
OH MY GOD OKAY IT’S HAPPENING
HI! I AM BEYOND EXCITED AAAAA
I’m writing this on Friday, but I’m waiting until Saturday to post it- partially because I want to give people a chance to watch the episodes for themselves, and mostly because I’m extremely tired from cooking and hosting the full on dinner party I decided to hold for this premiere. This is what being an adult is, baby!! Putting together sophisticated get-togethers to watch kid’s shows!!
A quick warning! This liveblog will reference plot points from the books, which will spoil the books and future episodes of the show. And believe me, it’s much more fun to go in blind :)
With that out of the way, here’s episode one: A Bunch of Smart Orphans!
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Here he is! Mr. Benedict himself and-
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KATE!!! KATE THE GREAT! Love her!
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Sticky!
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Ah, and hello foreshadowing (aka Mr. and Mrs. Washington).
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And here’s our first major change- Constance’s backstory. I’ve seen folks bringing up how this could affect the plot of a possible season 3/ Prisoner’s Dilemma adaptation… personally, I think that show runners definitely have a plan. They seem enthusiastic about future seasons, and I doubt they would self sabotage. Plus, this is only one small scene- we don’t know yet how much has changed, or if it’s changed at all!
Also, I already adore Constance.
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The vague and ominous signs around town are a nice touch!
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REYNIE! REYNIE MULDOON! Annnnnd- roll intro!
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Her Majesty the Queen??? Madge?? Hello??? You’re one book early, ma’am, but AAAAAA WHAT A NICE REFERENCE
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OKAY I’LL PROBABLY MAKE A SEPARATE POST JUST FOR THE INTRO BUT FOR NOW I WILL SAY THIS: IT SLAPS
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Miss PERUMAL MY BELOVED
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hmmmmmMMMMM wow good thing our current world isn’t like that haha! haha
ha
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she saved it for him,,,,
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So the Boatwright Academy is an actual place? Wonder how Mr Benedict got out of those lawsuits dktxkjkigxit
Then again, this man lives in an actual mansion, I think he can afford it
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Tamil!!
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fyidbsurekgxugsoydkvdiywitxyiv
such a good moment and it’s straight from the book!
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:(
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:( :(
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:( :( :( :( :(
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i,,,,,,, i need a minute,,,,,,
I LOVE THEMMMMMM
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NUMBER TWO
okay funny story- i only found out about this show when the trailer came out, and for some reason my first thought was “i wonder if they cast kristen schaal as number two” and SURE ENOUGH
why was that the first thing i thought? why is she somehow perfect for this role? no clue. must be fate.
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the visuals for the questions are so cool
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THE WAY SHE JUST LEAVES
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oooooh…. that’s a really good way to show how long the emergency has been going on, and how nothing has changed…. because none of it is real
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AAAAAAAA the green hair! the cloud dress!! i love it!!!
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9 year old me was blown away by this
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THE PICKLE JAR I-
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Okay, now I know why Kristen Schaal is perfect for this. Her deliveries are so deadpan but so funny.
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I’ve used a lot of school pencil sharpeners, can confirm they always sucked
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HEBEHEUDQHBSYQQJWHBIGHHSEHHFHQJHDHEBSHIWQNFHISMCIJCHXNDUWQJ
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This also blew my mind in 4th grade.
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and so the kids finally meet!!
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The Great Kate Weather Machine!! I love her!!
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hmmmm do i hear hintings of a character arc?
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They don’t bring up her measuring ability again, but it’s nice that they mentioned it!
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ah yes, the adaptation-only fodder characters! nice to meet you two, we’re never going to see you again! (unless the writers pull a dungeons and dragons and make one of these random kids the big bad all along…. 👀 /j)
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Kate Wetherall: Agent of Chaos. (you know, that might actually be a pretty good nickname. she should look into that)
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MILLIGANNNNN
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👀 👀
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WOW, REAL SUBTLE GUYS
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OOOOOOOH
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split screen! very cool :)
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THE PERSPECTIVE SHIFT IS SO CLEVER
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Kate Wetherall: Rater of Sewers. (okay, yeah, that one’s not so great)
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Kate Wetherall: Rater of- okay, you know what, not doing the same joke again.
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People keep repeating that specific phrase- “Nobody’s at the wheel”. Interesting…
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AGAIN. SUBTLE.
The framing of shots with these two specifically is so genius. It’s barely noticeable, unless you already know the twist in the first book! Someone who’s going in blind might notice how some shots seem to linger, but they wouldn’t put two and two together right away, which makes it excellent foreshadowing. aaaaaa i love it-
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This scene is done so beautifully!!! The home video look… i’m crying
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Katie-Cat,,,,,
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Her jacket being from the circus is a really cool detail :)
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NO HE DIDN-
excuse me for a moment
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AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
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shut UP DEWEY
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the DRAMA I LOVE HIM
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SHUT UP DEWEY
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YEAH GO OFF KATE
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RHONDA KAZEMBE MY LOVE
HER ACCENTTTTTT  ❤️ ❤️ ❤️
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using that split screen again! more shows should use split screen, i think :)
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KATE WETHERALL: KARATE MASTER
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ughhhhh dewey
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I HAVE NEVER HATED A CHILD MORW IN MY LIFE YOU JERK
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“it was more of a yell” ahgehdhwjfjwhxnijhq
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reynie you sweetheart <3
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kate!!
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OHH i hate you
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kate, on the other hand, i adore awwwwww
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AWWWWWWWWWWWWW
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HAHAAAA GET OWNED LOSER
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ROLL CRED- no wait
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HERE HE ISSSSS (for real this time)
MR. BENEDICTTTTT
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“donteatthat” ahgehdhwhdhhshws
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awwwww
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ah- well, not inaccurate
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WHAT AN AMAZING WAY TO INTRODUCE A CHARACTER
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THE TRUE MAIN CHARACTER IS HERE
MS. CONSTANCE CONTRAIRE
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he looks so excited i- ❤️❤️❤️
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wow rude
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AN I C O N
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ICON
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I saw someone in the comments of this clip saying that this is actually a pretty accurate depiction of narcolepsy with cataplexy! good for the crew doing their research :)
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“Constance, apparently.”
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They included the green plaid! Even if it’s not really part of his costume.
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Marta Kessler’s facial expressions are glorious
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:( :( :(
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:) :) :)
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REYNIE-
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love these science nerds higsftjydgitloh
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machinator
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I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM
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I LOVE HIMMMMMM
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HIS VOICE,,,,, HIS FACE,,,,,,, REYNIEEEEEE
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OH HECK
RECRUITERS?????
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oKAYYYYYY
WELL THAT’S A CLIFFHANGER ALL RIGHT
and we get to hear that awesome intro music again :)
So! Overall thoughts: 9/10! A really solid premiere, definitely has me excited for things to come, and a pretty faithful adaptation! Obviously there were some changes, but that’s always to be expected when adapting a book to the screen. I really enjoyed it!
I’m going to get more pie, and then on to episode two!
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