So here's the thing: I don't usually engage with or care about top/bottom discourse EXCEPT when I think it's funny, sooo...
Let's do some Science and examine Pingxie in a Very Serious Manner.
To do this, first let's take a look at some data gathered from all the danmei novels and shows I know (relevant for calibration you know, since they have actual canon top/bottom dynamics.)
SVSSS
Shen Qingqiu - Since his cause of death wasn't starvation we can assume - well, at least hope - that he can make instant noodles, if nothing else, but he will absolutely avoid having to cook if he can help it.
Luo Binghe - As the Protagonist he of course has to be The Bestest at everything (...except sex, apparently) and it's mentioned that both Bingge and Bingmei use their culinary skills to woo the people they want to sleep with. He's also the top, even though everyone involved would be better off if he wasn't.
MDZS
Lan Wangji - Becomes a pretty decent cook, as per the extras. Prefers to top.
Wei Wuxian - It's not like he's incompetent, he doesn't burn or undercook the food, it's just that his taste is so extreme that his dishes are basically inedible to anyone else.
TGCF
Hua Cheng - No special talent for cooking, but at least he's not actively dangerous. There's no on-page sex scene in the novel, but it's made obvious that he tops.
Xie Lian - Biohazard. Weapons-grade culinary anti-talent. Gastronomy's answer to Vogon poetry.
Golden Stage
Ulike in most of the other novels on the list, food doesn't really have much symbolic meaning and not much is said about either Fu Shen's or Yan Xiaohan's cooking skills, exept for a brief mention of Fu Shen pickling eggs to pass the time. This is a rare couple that canonically switches.
Guardian
Zhao Yunlan - This man considers instant noodles cooked with coffee an okay way to surprise a boyfriend. He really wouldn't mind topping, which he keeps lamenting throughout the book, but he's paired with Shen Wei who might just have the strongest set preference out of everyone on this list.
Shen Wei - Likes to dote on Zhao Yunlan by cooking for him and is genuinely very good at it.
Word of Honor (mind, I have only watched the show here)
Zhou Zishou - Can keep himself alive, but left to his own devices would probably make due with charred-and-yet-undercooked fish or something.
Wen Kexing - A competent cook. While obviously not detailed in the drama I looked it up (or asked someone, I can't remember) and he's the top here.
Erha
Chu Wanning - Perfected exactly one (1) dish, is rather... unfortunate otherwise. You could not pay this man to top.
Mo Ran - Excellent cook. Actually worked in a kitchen at one point in his life, giving and receiving food is basically his main love-language.
Now that we have examined these canon couples and have drawn all the relevant conclusions, let's apply what we learned to our non-danmei, might-as-well-be-canon-but-isn't ship.
Wu Xie - Can cook just fine both in the novel and the drama-verse even if it doesn't come up too often. In the first season he cooks up a pretty decent feast for his friends and in the Yucun books he helps come up with the dishes they would serve in their restaurant.
Zhang Qiling - The entire Thing of this poor sod as a character is that he knows how to survive but not how to live. Taking the time to prepare nice meals or cook anything beyond basic sustenance just... doesn't fit that picture.
So.
I rest my case.
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I only just started watching The Lost Tomb/DMBJ stuff so my opinions are half-formed but I do want to say that Xiaoge/Zhang Qiling is an iconic feral cat weirdo and I want to read fic about him courting Wu Xie in much the same manner. You know, with the doing random insane shit with zero explanation thing he does. That but as flirting. I think it would be funny.
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Wu Xie through the years...who is your fave?
I will put the questionnaire on top for those who are not interested in gifs and ramblings
For the rest ...my ramblings (all through my pingxie tinted glasses mind you)
Lost Tomb 2
I still haven't seen the original Lost Tomb, but this is the most innocent and naive version I have seen so far. The name truly fits. Him and Pangxi are not yet the best of friends. Good friends but not the "I will go through Hell with you" kind of friends of the later years. Wu Xie is also a bit awkward with Xiao Hua (you fucked it up Wu Xie and no one else). Most importantly, this is actually were our lil Wu Xie is finally coming to terms with his feelings for a certain stoic black clad individual. 😁
Ultimate Note
This Wu Xie is still very sweet and innocent but not as naive anymore. Also, he is now totally besotted with Xiaoge, which leads to a lot of frustrated venting and Xiaoge having quiet meltdowns. They are married your Honor and they fuck, no question about it. Pangzi is clearly aware of what is going on and is more then fine with it.
Tomb of the Sea
The widow phase. There is no Xiaoge, who is stuck behind the Bronze Gate. There is an underlying sadness, melancholy and fury now when it comes to Wu Xie. This man has seen a lot, has done a lot of things he is not very proud of and is no longer the sweet kid we once knew. His main goal is to get rid of the Wang family...for obvious reasons.
Reunion: The Sound of the Providence
My crazy lil cupcake. Hubby is back and up to this point they all lived happily in Rain Village but now he found out he is terminally ill...well shit. I admit it. This Wu Xie is my fave and not only because Longge plays him. 😅 He is a wild mix. Slightly unhinged because he is anyway living on borrowed time, also because those ten years without Xiaoge left a lot of physical and psychological scars and man he is dangerous. This man has killed and will do so again. He is damaged goods but beneath all of it, there is still the sweet kid, most of all evident when he is around Xiaoge but also Pangzi.
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