The way things were before (Platonic Yandere Muzan x reader)
This was inspired by the last episode of the latest season where we get some Muzan lore. This is kinda my first time writing real angst so tell me what you think. Keep in mind this is based on the anime and I haven't actually read the manga.
Pt.2
Check out my other works here: Masterlist.
Anger.
Ever since Muzan was young, one emotion he always felt was anger. It stuck to him like a tumor, destroying him from the inside out.
He felt anger for his illness that prevented him from having a real life. He felt anger for having to be tested on by doctors nearly daily. He felt anger that people looked down upon him as he grew weaker and weaker. But more importantly, he felt anger that nothing changed. He never got better, he never got stronger, no matter how much time went by.
As he aged, and his illness got worse, Muzan accepted the fact that his anger, his hatred for everyone would never leave him.
That was, until he found you. His beautiful, wonderful child, the only thing that could quell the rage inside of him.
You weren't his biologically, no, but that didn't matter to him. Before he was too sick to leave his bed, Muzan found you orphaned living on the streets and took you in. Ever since, you've been repaying him by taking care of him.
"Father, it is time to take you medicine." There you were, right on time. Muzan refused to take his medicine from anyone else, even his most notable doctors.
He was too weak to sit up, simply moving his head to acknowledge you, watching as you sat down in front of him. Muzan didn't complain as you moved his head so the medicine could travel done his throat more smoothly.
Once done, you lay his head back down, putting the small bowl down next to you, blessing him with a kind smile. "How are you feeling today father?" You question.
"I'm doing fine now that you are here, my child." You giggle, the smile reaching your eyes. A small smile graces Muzan's face at your happy demeanor. Even if it is only for a second, Muzan is happy.
"Oh, I almost forgot." You gasp, "The doctor has new medicine for you, he wanted to give it to you himself."
Muzan let out a childlike groan, rolling over to face the balcony. It was beautiful outside, but Muzan couldn't help but feel annoyed. The sun was too bright, the wide was too strong, the birds were too loud. Even the thought of having to interact with his doctor for a second caused his blood to boil.
You roll your eyes at him, "Father, you have to take your medicine, the doctor knows better than me." He does move to face you, but you could tell he was annoyed.
"The doctors are incompetent." He moves back on his back; his brows cross in frustration. "They have been treating me for years, but here I remain, trapped in by bed." He laments.
You frown at his words, looking away from your father with sorrow. You remember a time when he was still healthy enough to spend time with you, your favorite days being when he would grow flowers with you, teaching you about their meanings and medical uses. But now, just standing was enough to strip him of all his strength.
You've been forced to watch as your father grows more resentful for the people around him, hating his doctors, maids, even gardeners for simply existing, being able to live the life he most desperately wanted. On days where his illness is at his worse, he mumbles about wanting to destroy them all, something you assumed was delirium caused by the medicine.
Even though your father has changed, you still love him, and you can't help but see him as the carefree, happy man he was when you were younger, even now. It's why you so desperately want him to get better, so that maybe you could go back to the way things once were.
"Father, I promise they just want to help." You try and talk some sense into him, though his resolve doesn't budge. You sigh, "it would make me really happy if you let the doctors give you the medicine." You put emphasis on the word really, in hopes it would motivate him. To your luck it did, Muzan moving to face you, sighing at your pleading face.
"Fine." Was all he said, feeling warmth bubble up in him as you smiled. You leaned down and hugged him the best you could.
"Thank you, father." Muzan smiles, happy once more.
---
You haven't visited you father in days, him forbidding you from entering his room a few days after he took the new medicine. You didn't mind though, it probably had some bad side effects, so you left him alone. Though, you couldn't help but question whenever he ordered for a worker to enter his room, especially when you swore, they never left.
Today was the final straw, you had to see your father. Workers had been disappearing left and right, and you knew your father was not going to be happy about it if you kept it from him.
As you get closer and closer to your father's room, a stench more disgusting than anything you've smelt before entered your nose and caused you to gag. You would've thrown up than and their if you didn't cover your mouth quickly.
The smell only got worse as you slowly crept towards the door, it nearly becoming unbearable. You swallowed down you fear as you knocked at the door. You could hear the faint sounds of crunching, like someone was chewing on something tough which made heartbeat against your ribs.
"F-father, are you in there." The chewing stopped and your heart sank. Your hands shook as you heard someone move towards the door. Slowly, the door opened, revealing your father covered in blood. He smiled down at you creepily, a stark contrast between the horror that covered your face.
Muzan moves to cup your cheek in his hand, blood smearing on your face. He could hear your fearful breathing coming from your nose as you inhale and exhale in rapid succession. He rubs your cheek, trying to calm you down as you look into his room, seeing the mangled-up bodies behind him. Your breathing became even more erratic at the sight, Muzan simply sighing with a frown.
"(Y/N), you don't understand-"
"You killed them, father." You whisper, backing away from him.
"I am much stronger now; I can protect you." You shake your head, tears streaming down your face. What was he talking about?
"You killed them." Your repeat you back hitting the wall. Muzan was directly in front of you, looking down intimidatingly. For the first time in your life, your father scared you.
"I had to, my child." He answers, his voice calm, but you could sense his annoyance. "It's the only way I can remain strong."
You don't say anything as he moves closer, hugging you into his chest as your world went dark.
---
It's been years since that day.
Your now older, more aware of the situation you're in. You father was now a demon, forced to consume humans in order to live. You realized quickly it was from the medicine the doctor gave him, and you curse him everyday for doing so.
He took your home from you, forcing you and your father out of your village. He took your life from you, forcing you to remain hidden with you father. Most importantly, he took your father from you, him now a husk of the man he once was.
Along with the myriad of strange side effects, your father couldn't go out in the day, the sun causing him immense pain, one of the only few things that could hurt him.
You learned to treasure the mornings, them being the few hours away from your father. While he was busy learning all he could about his aliment, you were trying to maintain the image of a normal human being. Working, socializing, anything you could do to forget about the atrocities your father committed when the sun set.
You wish things would go back to the way they were before.
"-N)? (Y/N)?" Oh, you were in the hospital, getting blood work done. You look over at the doctor in front of you, him attempting to get you attention.
You've been feeling terrible for the past few days, constant headaches, hot flashes, soreness. You could barely move without pain. You got blood work done, now waiting for the results with anticipation.
"I just wanted to ask you a question before giving you the news." His voice is solemn, not giving you a good feeling. "Does your family have any history of illness?"
You want to answer yes, but that would we wrong. You're not Muzan's child, so you shouldn't have inherited his illness. "No, my father was plagued with illness years ago, but he's...better now and I'm not his child biologically."
The doctor nodded, looking away dejectedly. When his eyes finally met yours, they were serious, "You've developed a rare blood disease." You heart sinks, but the doctor continues, "I suspect about a month or so is what you have left."
You could feel tears in your eyes, but surprisingly you didn't feel all that sad. Ever since you were young, you've accepted the fact that you would die, it's something you've learned from your times on the streets. The doctor continues talking, but you don't hear a word, to busy wondering how you're going to tell Muzan.
---
"Father, I'm home." No response, but you know he heard you.
On your way home, you accepted that you weren't going to tell Muzan. You knew if you would, he would try to turn you, and you couldn't accept that fate. To you, even death was a better fate than becoming a demon.
You slowly make you way up to your father's study, knocking on the door before entering. Like most days, your father is hunched over his desk, books and papers strewn about.
He doesn't acknowledge you when you enter, even when you move to stand beside him. You take a look at the scientific papers, not understanding a single thing about any of them. The only recognizable thing was the blue spider lily that for some reason was crucial to father.
"How was your appointment?" He doesn't look at you, flipping through pages of a book.
You sigh, shaking your head, "It was fine. Apparently, I was overreacting." You let out an awkward laugh. Muzan nods, before moving his attention back to his book.
It's like he was consumed by this flower, it was the only thing he cared about. You missed you father, even though it's been years since he's felt like one. In a way, you feel like death would be more welcoming than the life you have now, one that is consumed by fear for the man your supposed to feel safe around.
You left without telling you father, silently hoping you wouldn't see him in the morning.
---
Your hopes were not answered.
It's been week, but death does not come, all that greeted you was endless pain.
Your father found out when you collapsed one morning, and while he was mad you lied to him, he was livid when you refused to be turned into a demon. He's never yelled at you before, it surprised you when he screamed and threatened you, but you didn't change your mind.
In the end, your father was forced to watch you slowly succumb to your illness. You attempted to brighten his mood by framing the situation as repaying you. You took care of him, now he is doing the same. The only difference being you won't make it out in the end.
"Father, do you remember when I was little," You murmur to him; you voice raw and quiet. Your room was dark, blocking out any light so you could barely see your father looking at you. "You used to grow flowers with me." Your giggle sounds almost painful, but the smile on your face was one Muzan had nearly forgotten. "I'd get so sad when mine would die."
He doesn't speak, he can't, "Then you'd tell me not to cry, because death is normal for all living beings." Your voice is getting quieter as you speak, but he doesn't acknowledge it. "You were trying to comfort me about your death, I didn't know that at the time."
Muzan wants you to stop talking, he hates the pain in your voice. "I wish we could go back to the way things were before." You said, before finally going quiet. Muzan hears your breathing stop before letting out a sob.
---
It's been over a thousand years since your death and ever since then, Muzan has been filled with anger.
Anger for this imperfect world that took you away from. Anger at you for refusing the life he could've given you. Anger at himself for making your last few moments miserable.
He doesn't know who to blame for his misfortune, but he knows that if he lets anger consume him, he'll find someone to blame.
Muzan chooses to remember you when you were younger and at your happiest. When he's alone, his mind often wanders to these moments, when you were just a child, so small he was afraid anything would hurt you. He never let you out of his sight, wanting to protect you from the world.
Though in the end, he still lost you.
Since the day you died, Muzan was filled with rage. And he will continue to be until the day he sees you again.
He just wishes things would go back to the way they were before.
---
A/n: I don't even know if this counts as Yandere but whatever.
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(KNY) YANDERE PLATONIC! KOKUSHIBO x SISTER READER: You, Shibou. I, Kokoro (CHAPTER TWO)
Previous Chapter ☆♡☆ Masterlist ☆♡☆ Next Chapter
AO3 link
CHAPTER TWO: "You crazy-ass cosmonaut, Remember your virtue, Redemption lies plainly in truth"
(IMPORTANT NOTE): So, Decided to turn this into a whole ahh fic. Anyways, This takes place in my SLAYER+ AU. Which is something I haven't talked about but the general jist is that it expands the story of Demon Slayer
So if anything in her seems a little bit off its either because its apart of SLAYER+ or I've just made a mistake.
Thank you!
Impostor syndrome is an internalised thought process which make people doubt their standing or achievements, Believing themselves to be undeserving of praise.
This can make the person in question believe that they are not as great as they are portraying. This syndrome often comes hand in hand with other disorders such as Depression.
Cut, Slice, Stab, Pierce!
The blade's movements flowed through the air and struck like lightning against the demons neck.
It wasn't even aware it was defeated until its head hit the ground.
Bouncing once, Then twice until it rolled away like a running coin.
The demon's head came to a halt. The soft sun rays of the oncoming sunrise started to sizzle at it's skin, Making the edges burn away into fading ashes.
The words he wished to say died on his tongue, Watching as the man only a few feet away from him sheathe his sword and exhale once through his mouth.
It was like the slayer didn't even make any effort to kill him, Like he was just doing another chore.
The demon's mouth opened and closed like a fish out of water, Trying to find the syllables to say yet the only sound he could produce was only a single vowel.
"H-How..?" He choked out. The sun started to reach his face now, Ashes scorching out and fading in a blitz.
The slayer said nothing, He only turned back to the demon. His eyes shown through the small rifts on his mask, The vivid colour looking back at the demon with.. Nothing.
There wasn't any emotion shining behind his eyes, Not like any other of the demon slayers he had faced before eating them.
Disgust, Pity, Resentment.. None of that was present. Not a burning hatred or a disgust for his kind. Instead he seemed tired, Exhausted even.
The last thing the demon saw before burning up completely was the slayer turning back around, Walking off towards the sun.
Then, His remains dissolved entirely, Fading back into the world from where he came from.
Just like all the others.
☆♡☆
The bowl of udon sat uneaten on the table.
[F/N] held a single chopstick in his hand. He circled it around in the bowl, Watching as the contents rippled around like koi in a pond. By now, The noodles and toppings had cooled down, Being now only lukewarm.
[F/N] stared dead into the bowl, Seemingly enraptured by the movements.
It was early in the morning. [F/N] had been called by the crow and arrived at the swordsmith's village only half an hour after sunrise, Yet it was too late. By the time he got there the battle was already won.
It was an Uppermoon attack, Reportedly both five and four were attacking the village. Except from the Entertainment District incident this was the first time an Uppermoon was seen and actually killed in over one hundred years.
If he didn't take a detour to slay a nearby demon he would of gotten there in time to fight the two. [F/N] chided himself for his stupidity.
"Hey.. You're making that face again.."
[F/N] snapped his head up to look across the table.
Mitsuri Kanroji, The Love Hashira, Sat looking at [F/N] from across the table. She had a look of concern on her face, At least as much concern she could show with a clump of noodles stuffed in her mouth.
Mitsuri, One of the combatants in the fight went up against number four and survived. After winning the fight she had decided it was only right to celebrate with a feast. [F/N], Who was already there at the village was invited to join her.
[F/N] accepted, It was convenient. A way to break the news easily.
"What look?" [F/N] asked. The eyes on his kitsune mask widened with the movements below.
"The face-mask thingy.. The one where you look like you despise your food personally.." Mitsuri explained using several vague hand movements to gesture to [F/N]'s face. "How'd you even eat with that thing on anyways?" She added.
"Oh.. Right." [F/N] mumbled.
Moving his hands up to the leather straps reaching behind his head. Unclasping the clip at the back with precision he placed the mask on the table besides his sword, And suddenly he became a she.
The previous build of a strong athletic man had dissolved into the smaller frame of a young woman in her early twenties. The sleeveless slayer uniform and dragon-patterned haori that fit perfectly before had suddenly became oversized, As if she was wearing a rather large blanket.
"Kyah~! No matter how many time's I see it, It doesn't get any less cool!" Mitsuri gushed. The ghost of a smile graced [F/N]'s face and shook her head, It seemed like Mitsuri was back to her normal self.
"..But even though it was cool, It's not gonna get you out of telling me what's wrong" Mitsuri tutted. Shoving another shrimp kebab into her mouth from the dozens of plates beside her, A mountain compared to [F/N]'s anthill of a bowl.
"Really? Nothing does get past you, Does it?" [F/N] mumbled, Trying to gather her thoughts while catching her breath at the hit of sudden weakness.
"Nope! Now spill. You know you can tell me anything right?" Mitsuri said. She set down her fresh plate of food, Her attention now set fully on the woman in front of her.
[F/N] felt her lip quirk, A sudden anxiety chilling her.
"I.. I guess I was just worried about you, 'Tsuri. Are you sure you're okay? A battle with an Uppermoon is no joke, You know?" [F/N] worried, Checking over her form to check for any wounds or bruises.
It wasn't a lie, [F/N] was worried about Mitsuri. She was her closest companion, The woman she could call her best friend yet [F/N] supposed that was why it was so hard to tell her the real truth.
Mitsuri hummed for a second.
"..Of course I'm okay.. Though I do have to admit the fight did give me a run for my money, And you should of seen the mouth on that demon boy!" Mitsuri exclaimed, Recalling the early details of the battle.
"Really? What'd he say to you?" [F/N] asked.
"He called me a tramp! Can you believe that? I've never heard such foul language come out of anyone, Demon or Human!" Mitsuri exasperated. The usual dramatic tone she always wore was present in her voice, Good. [F/N] could confirm she was alright, Atleast in mind.
"Anyways, I swear! If I wasn't strong enough to survive that blast or my if my breathing style wasn't as fast as it is: I would've been a goner." She concluded, Shaking her head.
"I'm glad you're alright, I'm just sorry I wasn't there to help you" [F/N] replied, Sombreness lacing an undertone of her voice.
"Don't worry about it, I surv- WAIT! What I said just reminded me, I forgot to tell you!" Mitsuri squawked, Suddenly jumping up in her seat.
"Hm?" [F/N] lowered a brow, Prompting her to continue.
"Do you remember those Kamado kids? Tanjiro and Nezuko, Doesn't ring a bell?" Mitsuri questioned.
"Erm.. Who?" [F/N] asked in return.
"You don't remember them? The boy with the checkered haori, The absolutely adorable little demon girl?" Mitsuri squealed as if she was a mother gushing over her children's achievements, Fanning her face to cool down her ever-present blush.
[F/N] hummed and searched through the archive of her memory.
"Nope, Don't think I've met them." [F/N] concluded, Her mind drawing a blank.
"Wait. You showed up late to the meeting right?" Mitsuri snapped her fingers, Suddenly recalling.
"..Yep. If you mean the outside portion then yeah, Missed it." [F/N] said nonchalantly, Finally taking a clump of noodles and moving it up to her mouth.
"Ah, Right. That makes sense then. You should really keep better track of time, [F/N]" Mitsuri scolded lightly, Taking another bite of food. "Anyways, I've decided to send them your way!"
[F/N] paused. The cluster of noodles inches from her lips stopped mid-way through Mitsuri's sentence.
"..What?" [F/N] queried, Lowering the noodles. Maybe she had misheard. Mitsuri quirked a lip.
"Erm.. I decided to send them your way..? The boy, Tanjiro has this special breathing technique… And since you've got the most expertise on breathing styles I kind kind of.. Sent him your way?" Mitsuri said slowly, Trying to pique what kind of reaction [F/N] would have.
She watched as [F/N]'s face morphed into a kind of blank stare, The same one she had while glaring at her soup.
Mitsuri let out a small squeak, Waving her hands about.
"I-I didn't really mean to! It just kind of came up in conversation and I kind of let slip that you might have some information since you've helped others before on this stuff- And.. And he just kind of decided to find you- I didn't know you were coming here so he's already on his way to the Kakushi Base, I'm really sor-" Mitsuri's babbling came to a halt at the feeling of a hand gripping hers, Stopping its movement.
[F/N] sighed lightly and looked back at Mitsuri with a small smile.
"It's fine, 'Tsuri. You don't need to explain yourself, It's just.." [F/N]'s small smile dropped.
[F/N] knew that she needed to tell her eventually, If she didn't get it over with it now then it would be more difficult later on. [F/N] just prayed she'd understand.
"I didn't just come here to celebrate your victory.. I.. I need to tell you something" [F/N] started. Her [E/C] irises met the lime green hue's of Mitsuri's. She stared into them trying to gather up the confidence while Mitsuri only stared back with a concerned gaze as she picked up her chopsticks.
Setting her hands on her lap, She took a deep breath.
"I'm retiring."
Mitsuri dropped the chopsticks.
They fell back onto the plate, The resounding clack! seemed so much louder than it did before as it echoed around the room.
"W-What.. Come again?" Mitsuri stumbled on her words, She was in shock as her shoulders tensed up. The surprised reached her face, Disbelief in her eyes and her jaw slack open.
"I'm retiring, 'Tsuri." [F/N] repeated, Confirming her words to Mitsuri. The silence was deafening.
Suddenly two hands gripped onto [F/N]'s shoulders from across the table, Almost pulling her over.
"What?! Did you get hurt? Did someone die? What happened? You can tell me you know, I won't say a word to anyone!" Mitsuri exclaimed, Shaking [F/N] by the shoulders from across the table.
"Aah! Nothing happened to me, Tsuri! I'm fine!" [F/N] blurted out, Still being shaken around.
Mitsuri lifted her hands off from [F/N]'s shoulders, Yet it wasn't a relief as Mitsuri got up from her seat. [F/N] following close behind her as they met face to face.
"Then what, [F/N]? If you're not hurt or anything then why?" Mitsuri questioned, Her pitch lowering down to a low plead as she got closer to [F/N], Gripping her hand tight.
[F/N] raised their entwined hands, Putting her other hand over Mitsuri's.
"Listen, This isn't something I'm doing on a dime, Okay? I've been thinking about this for a long while now.." [F/N] said.
"Since when?" Mitsuri prodded.
"Since Tengen's retirement.. Since Rengoku's death. It's been on my mind for a long time, And I just think it's time." [F/N] explained. Her voice stung at Mitsuri like a live wire, It sounded strained like something was blocking up her throat.
Mitsuri squeezed [F/N]'s hand tighter.
"[F/N], I can't understand but you need to be with us in the Hashira right now.. We still haven't found a replacement for Rengoku or Tengen. You of all of us can't quit, Not you." Mitsuri argued going closer to [F/N]
"Out of all of us in the Hashira it's you who is the strongest out of all of us, You even beat Gyomei in that department. Do you even remember what you did?" Mitsuri continued.
[F/N] frowned hearing Mitsuri's declarations of grandeur towards her. She looked away, Either in shame or embarrassment she didn't know.
"You're the Soul Hashira, [F/N]! You're the slayer who killed a thousand demons in a year, All on your own. Do you understand the weight of that?" Mitsuri announced.
[F/N] Fujimori, The Soul Hashira. She was the woman who killed one thousand demons in a year, A feat done by no other in recorded history. A feat so big that lower members of the demon slayer corps even doubted she existed, Something only possible by both her reclusive nature and her actual appearance during the day.
The mask. A rather old looking porcelain kitsune mask with black and blue markings, It was a trinket [F/N] had acquired long ago. It had a rather unique effect where whenever [F/N] placed it on her face, She could suddenly change her appearance at will.
She didn't understand it nor did she ever know how it worked but she decided like the vast majority of things that it was better to not look a gift horse in the mouth, A sentiment she had carried ever since childhood.
So, Using it to her advantage [F/N] made herself into the peak version she could be, Or he to be more accurate. An athletic masculine body, More muscle mass than a normal person yet only enough so that it didn't weigh down her movements, Making her both strong and agile in a fight.
It was the entire reason she was able to achieve the title of "Strongest Hashira". That and along with the countless hours of training and meditation, That is.
"Mitsuri.. I understand who I am alright? I know who I am and it doesn't matter to me, It never has. Neither my strength or title.. Even if I did change my mind about this I've already sent my resignation letter to Oyataka-sama, He should be receiving it by tonight.." [F/N] started. The look of determination and finality on her face as she stared Mitsuri straight into the eyes.
"I just.. I feel like my time as a Hashira has ran it's course. After I leave I'm sure Gyomei will be just fine in taking my title.. All my life I've been giving my life and serving other people, I think it's time that I be selfish for once in my life and retire like I should." [F/N] finished, Her stance wide and steady, Unshaken from Mitsuri's argument.
Mitsuri looked at her, The final part of her sentence made her frown once again.
She reached out a hand and placed it firm on her shoulder.
"[F/N].. Is this about him?" Mitsuri whispered, A rare frown painting her face as she looked deep into [F/N]'s eyes for the answer.
[F/N] pried her eyes away from her, Trying to find anywhere except her to look at. Her jaw trembled, Only slightly.
"It is, Isn't it..?" Mitsuri continued quietly.
"Shizuko will be fine without me, Mitsuri!" [F/N] said, Whipping her head back round to face The Love Pillar with a sudden angry tone, Like a nerve had been struck.
Though, Her anger dissipated once she seen the taken aback appearance of Mitsuri.
"I.. Sorry, 'Tsuri. You know I didn't mean that.." [F/N] said, Mimicking Mitsuri's movements by resting her hands on Mitsuri's shoulders.
"No, I shouldn't of brought it up like that.. I'm just surprised, Okay?" She consoled.
[F/N] sighed.
"It's just you're acting like this will be the last time we'll see each other. That's not true, 'Tsuri.. You don't need to worry about me.." [F/N] said quietly, The argument before now mellowed into a discussion.
Mitsuri shook her head.
"We joined together as slayers and fought with each other, I just thought one day we'd both leave together. Like we always have." Mitsuri explained. The onset of tears forming in her eyes were quickly wiped away by [F/N], Who walked over to the food table and picked up two cups of sake, Holding one towards her to which Mitsuri took hesitantly.
"I know, 'Tsuri.. Even though I won't be a slayer tomorrow, I trust that you'll be there for Shizuko, Okay? But tonight I am still a slayer, So please. While this is our last meal as comrades this isn't our last meal as companions. So for the last few hours I'm still on payroll, Let's enjoy tonight." [F/N] said.
Holding her cup of sake up to Mitsuri who smiled at the gesture.
The clinking of the cups signalled the festivities. As celebration Mitsuri had called for more rounds of food, As much as she could imagine (Which was a lot). While [F/N] had called for another few bottles of their strongest sake.
By the time they were done the sun was about to set over the horizon. The crystal clear cerulean had long faded into burnt tangerine skies, Soon to fade into a star-speckled ebony night.
[F/N] had changed into a suitable kimono and her signature haori at this point, Her mask carried in a leather pouch and the large medieval sword hauled on her back with surprising ease.
Mitsuri and [F/N] had walked out past the remains of the village, Their celebration being both of the victory, [F/N]'s retirement, And a final farewell to the memories made inside the houses.
They got past the villagers cleaning up the rubble and packing up their things, Mitsuri stopping and thanking them for their help on their way, Hand in hand with [F/N]. They had called for a carriage to be sent which arrived soon enough, One of the rich tokyo-centered one's for rent coming right down the path being pulled by horses.
"Well then, This is my ride then.." [F/N] concluded as she was greeted by the driver, Who bowed once then helped her up onto the footrail of the vehicle. She looked back at Mitsuri with a smile that didn't quite reach her eyes, Her hand slipping from Mitsuri's hold.
"I'll see you soon, 'Tsuri" [F/N] said her farewells as she turned around and opened the carriage door, Stepping in.
But suddenly, [F/N] felt herself tugged back by the hand.
She turned around to face Mitsuri, Who seemed just as surprised as [F/N] was at the sudden contact.
"Ah! Sorry, My bad. I didn't mean to do that, Apologies..!" Mitsuri half-heartedly giggled. [F/N] returned it with a curt nod.
"Don't sweat it." [F/N] said, Stepping fully inside the carriage now.
However, Mitsuri called out to her.
"Just.. When you get to the Kakushi Base, Don't do anything extreme, Alright?" Mitsuri said with a smile. Yet [F/N] could tell there was something more to it, Something that was just out of reach of [F/N]'s hold.
Instead she returned the smile.
"Of course, Nothing extreme." [F/N] said, Waving her off as the driver closed the door, And with a whip of the reigns the horses took off. Eventually, Mitsuri along with the village grew smaller and smaller, Until they weren't visible at all.
[F/N] laid her head against the glass that was rattling along with the carriages movements along the dirt road. But despite it, Either due to exhaustion or the amount of sake she had drunken, Found it rather easy to go to sleep.
As she felt her remaining consciousness slip away her eyes closed, Embracing the darkness until the blizzard faded into view.
☆♡☆
The sounds of heavy footsteps echoed around the ever-changing space of the Infinity castle.
The reverberation of biwa strings and far-off chatter could be heard from far away, Bouncing off the moving shoji-walls and polished wood floorings. The place smelled like fresh sawdust to the point that it left a lasting impression on the scent of anyone coming in or out.
The dim lighting of the paper lamps and candles alit barely gave any lighting to the movement of the two demon's making their way to the centre of the castle.
The larger of the footsteps strode in front, The other lighter pair trailed along behind the larger pair.
All of Kokushibo's eyes were put dead forward, Set on the task ahead of him. His nagagi kimono wove lightly in the short breeze travelling through the cavern of rooms along with his ponytail swaying with it.
Kaigaku sheepishly trailed behind him from a fair enough distance, His eyes were focused fully on the demon in front of him.
They both had been summoned by Nakime, Assumedly along with the other Uppermoons or at least what was left of them. This was the second time in the same week they were called to the infinity castle and Kokushibo already had a suspicion to why.
Kaigaku however, Hadn't gotten a clue.
"Master.. M-May I ask why is it we have been summoned here today?" Kaigaku stuttered out, Fidgeting with his hands as he eagerly waited on his mentor's answer.
Kaigaku, The newest upper rank after the siblings perished and having the honour of baring the title of Kokushibo's Tsuguko.
Of course, The title of Tsuguko suggested that Kaigaku would take over from Kokushibo one day, Which was a complete misnomer.
Kaigaku, Despite being a previous breath wielder with potential had absolutely no chance of passing Kokushibo in power.
He wouldn't dare to anyways, He could barely keep himself together in front of him. Challenging Kokushibo for his spot at number one was simply unthinkable.
"Keep your voice low.. You'll find out.. When we get there" Kokushibo hissed, Keeping his eyes in front of him as he spoke out in a deep, Raspy sort of voice.
Kokushibo could see Kaigaku flinch from the corner of his eyes, A chill running down him at the sound of his voice. Kokushibo hummed. Good, He knew his place.
Eventually they reached the centre of the infinity castle, Looking over the clearing.
The faraway chatter had turned out to be arguing. Douma seemed to be pestering Akaza as usual. Douma seeing a friendly bonding exercise with his subordinates while Akaza only saw it as a taunt, Which was most likely the truth.
"Akaza-dono! Why'd you have to be so cold with me, It's been so long since I've seen you after all!" Douma drawled, A grin plastered wide onto his face like a salesman as he placed another hand onto his shoulder.
Akaza's actions spoke more than his words as a single fist shot up, And in a burst of blood and tendons Douma's arm tore from its socket, Falling helplessly to the ground.
However this only made Douma grin wider, As the limb regrew almost as soon as it was severed.
"It's only been a day, Keep your hand off of me." Akaza said through gritted teeth, Taking a few strides away from Douma.
"Ah! No need to get so offensive now. I guess I've just missed you all so much that it just felt like days! Weeks.. Month even!" Douma mused with a dramatic exclaim, Snapping his fingers together as he watched Akaza walk away.
"Whatever.. Nakime!" Akaza called out, Turning the the woman tuning her biwa only a few feet away on the podium. "The rest of the Uppermoons.. Where are they?" He asked, Steady and firm on his feet.
"Uppermoon one and six have arrived, As for the other two.." Nakime cut herself off, But it didn't matter. Akaza had disingaged and already snapped his head around to look up, Spying both Kokushibo and Kaigaku looking down on them.
Akaza's eyes narrowed as he scrutinized the two above him.
"Upper six.. one" He said, Only giving a nod of respect to Kaigaku: Who nodded back rather feverishly towards his superior.
"Akaza.." Kokushibo drawled. All six of his irises stared him down like an ant under his sandal, A stare that made Akaza's muscles tense and his fists ball up.
"I thought I had reminded you.. Last time.. That you ought to show more respect to your superiors.." Kokushibo started. Though his voice was levelled, Akaza could sense the irritation behind his voice. A feeling they shared mutually.
"Kokushibo-dono..! So glad to see you.." Douma called out. Despite the salesman smile still painted on his face, The cheery voice dimmed into a more cautious tone in Kokushibo's presence.
Kokushibo ignored him.
"You are continuing to ignore the hierarchy set in place.. As I've said.. Challenge him to a blood battle if you are unhappy.." Kokushibo finished, His calm tone coming to a finality as the remains echoed around the silent atmosphere of the Infinity castle.
He didn't wait for Akaza's response as his overhanging figure suddenly vanished from view, Making Kaigaku yelp from the sudden disappearance of his mentor while Akaza only muttered something angrily under his breath.
Kokushibo manifested a good bit away from the group, Sitting on his knee's in-between one of the hanging castle halls.
What a waste, He thought. Akaza, Even after being as generous to spare him the first time he challenged Kokushibo to a blood battle, Never took his advice.
The first time, He had knocked him to the ground. It hadn't even been five minutes before he had been truly, utterly defeated.
Akaza had lain on the ground, His limbs barely regenerating as he watched Kokushibo slowly walk up to him. His scrutinizing glare burning into Akaza's soul like the suns ray's to his skin. Taunting him, Looking down on him from his unshakable throne.
It would of been better if Kokushibo had just absorbed him, Akaza thought. Even as he was spared it felt like he was an injured bird, Completely dependant on the mercy of whoever came across him.
He hated that feeling, The feeling of him being completely helpless under another's will. He would of rather been absorbed then feel that for the rest of his existence.
Kokushibo on the other hand had felt as if Akaza was wasting his potential.
He had already gotten to Upper three, His potential was there, Almost glowing. Yet he wasted it with his morals, The ones he had carried over from his human life. Akaza refused to consume women, Even went so far as to never lay a hand on one.
Kokushibo had urged Akaza to give up these morals during their fight, It's why it lasted so long anyways. Women did tend to be more nutritious and by not eating them entirely he was cutting off his food source by 50 percent, And Kokushibo had tried his best to convince him of that.
Yet ever-stubborn Akaza refused, While Kokushibo's position was untouchable the same could be said for Akaza's principles.
Akaza was weak and refused to change, To get stronger and instead mainly relied on traditional martial arts training.
As the final strum of the biwa reverberated around the castle, Kokushibo knew that it was barely enough. Akaza couldn't protect who he held dear in his human life, Even though he couldn't remember his past he still held his will strong, Carrying on the memory of who he lost.
Kokushibo felt disgusted, Hatred.. And that same spark of green from his human life. And as the meeting finally began, He started to feel like maybe most of it wasn't directed towards Akaza.
And he felt disgusted at that too.
☆♡☆
The cold gusts of wind hit against [F/N]'s face like titanium whips on bare skin, Creating patches of red skin and aching pain.
The blizzard raged on. Both hailstones and large clumps of snow hurled down onto the forest ground, Coating the ground in a thick layer of avalanche. The trees hit each other in the wind, Beating and smashing into each other in the sheer force of the gales.
It was cold. It was so, so cold.
Every inch of [F/N] felt numb, It ached when she moved.
Her chest hurt a lot too, So much more than the cold eating away at her. It felt like someone was constantly turning a iron blade inside of her chest, Making sure every sharp end dug into her chest and cut open frozen blood.
It was a reoccurring nightmare. Every time [F/N] fell asleep she woke up in the same place, In the middle of the woods during a snowstorm.
They had started a few months ago, Around the time Rengoku had died. At first she thought it was just another one-off nightmare and decided to ignore it, After all, Nightmares were common in her line of work.
But when they had continued, Night after night after night. [F/N] had had enough and tried to seek help. Doctors, Experts or anyone that could help her she had ran to asking for assistance, Yet nothing that had been provided to her that could help came along.
So after months dealing with the Night terrors with no remedy she had decided to stick it through, To see if it would go away on its own.
So now, [F/N] trudged through the rushing winds. Pulling her foot from the snow and slamming it back down in front of her was a herculean task of its own.
The blizzard seemed to pick up on intensity, The snow hitting the ground harder like thrown rocks and pushing [F/N] around in the winds.
She didn't know why she kept moving forward, Keep trying to go further than the last time. She had no reason to, But inside of her aching chest the instinct resonated, It drove her forward. Trying to escape the snowstorm.
However, There was always a point inside the dream. The breaking point, Where her legs couldn't hold anymore, When the weight of her strength died out inside her, Making her collapse into the snow, Burying her alive in it.
When it happened she curled up into a fetal position, Trying her best to hold on to her life force slipping away. She couldn't cry no matter how much she had wanted to, The dehydration burned at her throat making it impossible.
The last thing she felt was.. Warm. The frostbite finally reaching her heart, A bittersweet heat invading her failing organ system as it shut down. She yearned for something, Weakly calling out to someone with her dying breath.
When she finally closed her eyes, Letting the darkness swallow her whole as the last thing she saw was a man coming upon her. A tall figure amongst the storm, Looking at her, Rushing forward with his purple kimono swaying in the wind.
But before she could see his face, Death had already siphoned her. The darkness being the only thing she could see.
[F/N] shot up, Gasping for air.
She looked around frantically, Heart beating like a drum. Survival instincts kicked in trying to quickly examine her surroundings.
Though she relaxed once she saw the wooden inside of the carriage she was in. The rattling of the vehicle moving along the road comforted her, Confirming that she was safe.
She let out a big sigh, Watching as the exhale turn into cold mist in the morning air.
[F/N] raised an eyebrow, Turning to look out the carriage window.
It was snowing, The glisten of white sleet covering the ground shone in the pre-dawn sunlight. [F/N] felt her heartrate pick up again once more when she remembered her dream, Only for a split second.
It wasn't the harsh snowfall of a blizzard, Nor was the mist of cold vapour taking up everything in sight. Instead, It was the soft fall of flakes slowly making their way down to the earth, As well as only a whisp of frozen vapour dancing in the air.
It was the kind of fall where you could stand outside catching snowflakes on your tongue, The kind where you could stand idly by with a cup of hot tea in hands; Watching the beauty of cold terrain.
[F/N] rubbed her eyes, She wasn't back in her dream.
Judging by the cold she was near the Kakushi base. She had set off at the first sign of the setting sun and had woken up when the sky was still a deep navy blue, Only the cracks of sunlight making their way through the edges of the faraway mountains.
Moving over to the front of the carriage she tapped on the glass window.
"Hey, How long until we reach our destination?" [F/N] called through the window. The driver turned back to look at her for a moment, But ultimately kept his eyes on the road.
"I'm just about to stop up here, Is that alright with you?" The driver responded. [F/N] mumbled out a yes and lain back in her seat.
She watched the snow fall carefully as the carriage ascended up the mountain.
"So, Urm.. Do you have anyone waiting on you, Ma'am?" The drive asked tentatively.
"..Nope, No one in particular." [F/N] replied, Keeping her eyes outside the window watching the snow fall.
They were left in silence for a short moment, Left only to the sounds of turning wheels and a rattling base.
"Then.. I wouldn't suppose you don't know the man down there?" The driver called out after a while.
The corner of [F/N]'s lips quirked, Twitched for a moment as she was brought out of her stupor and put straight into confusion, Caught off guard.
"What man?" [F/N] asked, Her tone raising a little in alarm. Who could be out here at this hour in these weather conditions?
"Eh.. He's a little bit down the road, You might be able to see him from your window." He replied suddenly gathering a bit more in tone at the sound of alarm in her voice.
[F/N] didn't hesitate to peer round, Craning her head as far as it could to try and get a good look at the ma-
Oh.
Oh, fuck.
[F/N]'s limited vision revealed Gyomei Himejima, The Stone Hashira, Standing a good few metre's down the pathway from where they were headed. He didn't move, But from what she could see he was waiting on the carriage passing them.
"Ma'am? Are you alright?" The driver asked, Concerned. But by the time he had let out the first word the blinds on the windows had already been shut.
"F-Fine! Just slow down and park in front of the guy, You can leave afterwards. Okay?" She called back to him, Sticking her hand through the little window hole with a handful of cash to which was taken immediatley.
"Alright then.." The driver said, But she didn't hear him as she was already pulling out her rucksack. While Gyomei was blind, He had extraordinary senses. Plus the fact that her voice also changed to a more masculine lilt when she put on the mask.
The fact was that [F/N] was actually a woman was suppose to be a secret, With only a small handful of people including trusted handmaidens, Mitsuri, Shinobu and Oyataka-sama actually knowing about the mask.
It was something she didn't tell anyone, Why she didn't want to say is something she didn't tell anyone either. Though it didn't really matter in that moment, Only the quick rapid succession of her rucksack opening and clothing getting flung everywhere.
Gyomei listened as the carriage rolled down the pathway, The cold seeping into his skin didn't seem to bother him and if it did then he did a good job of hiding it. His hands pressed in that same praying position, Haori flowing in the soft breeze as he heard the carriage come to a halt in front of him.
The door opened with a squeak, The thumping of boots hit the snow with a crunch!
"Himejima-san! Great to see you, What brings you all the way out here?" [F/N] called out, A fabricated cheer in the voice now belonging to him. He walked out a few steps toward Gyomei, Now wearing his slayer uniform and kitsune mask as the carriage went away.
"Fujimori-san.. It is good to know that you are in a cheerful mood." Gyomei said, His voice was filled with the ever-present sorrow. Tears eternally running down his face as he rattled the beads in his hands.
"Of course, I always am.. But uh.. What about my question? What brings you all the way out here?" [F/N] asked. In the corps she was only known by her last name, Fujimori. Her first name might be too much of a give away.
"I believe you are already aware of why, Fujimori-san." Gyomei muttered out. Despite [F/N]'s new tall and imposing form, It felt like comparing a tree to a shrub when in the presence of Gyomei. His height easily towering over him by a good foot.
[F/N] clicked his tongue, He already knew why. Though he felt it appropriate to continue his ignorance.
"..Not a clue, Care to enlighten me?" [F/N] drawled out, Feigning stupidity as the clanking on Gyomei's beads came to a jolting halt.
"..Please, May we not go back and forth like this again.. This is a serious matter." Was all that Gyomei said to [F/N], Yet his words held much deeper implications.
The simple truth was that both [F/N] and Gyomei didn't get along, It wasn't due to anything they had done to each other or anything they've said. But it just so happened that they both had rather conflicting personalities and philosophies.
Gyomei was a buddist monk, [F/N] was a shinto shrine maiden. Gyomei had conviction and it showed through his blade, [F/N] had barely any drive when she drove it into a demon's neck. Gyomei was the ideal hashira and someone to look up to, An idol among men. [F/N] couldn't even show up on time to meetings.
It would be wrong to call the two rivals, Though you couldn't deny the tension that followed the two whenever they were in a room together.
[F/N] sighed and pinched the temple of his mask.
"Yeah.. Okay, You got me. Nothing gets past you, Eh?" [F/N] started with a rather sarcastic chuckle "Oyataka-sama sent you 'cause of my resignation letter, Right?"
"Correct."
[F/N] groaned lightly through his mask, He knew he should of expected this yet last night's sake and exhaustion kept it off his mind.
"And let me guess.." [F/N] raised a hand to stroke his chin, Making an overdramatic motion. "He sent you to try and change my mind?" He gasped.
Gyomei nodded.
"Right now, We can't afford for you to retire from the corps. Two positions in the Hashira have not been replaced and with your retirement especially the corps is surely to take a blow" Gyomei explained.
[F/N] folded his arms.
"Please do understand, Fujimori-san.. It is your duty as a demon slayer to fight until you are unable, To give it your everything. An oath you swore years ago." Gyomei said, Taking a few slow steps forward towards his colleague.
[F/N] groaned, Not even bothering to hide it this time.
"Oh don't talk to me about Oaths, Gyomei. Have I ever told you how much I hate those?" [F/N] started, The fabricated cheer in his voice now gone and replaced with one of frustration and annoyance as his mask mimicked as such.
"Oaths are just words, Gyomei. No matter how you want to put it or how binding it may seem.. Oaths, Promises or Vows.. They're just words at the end of the day. The only thing that matters is the actions that follow, And you know that I've never given it my all, And right now I feel so tired of this damn job that I might as well be unable.." [F/N] finished, The exhaustion haunting the undertones of his voice like a parasite.
Gyomei frowned a little more.
"If you are so tired of this job.. Then why would you come into this line of work in the first place..? We all have motivations here, And I'm sure you do as well." Gyomei asked.
[F/N] scoffed, Who was he to ask such a personal question? An annoyed tinge rose up inside him, However he felt something else come up along with it.
It was true, Being a demon slayer was hard. It was certain death by many horrible and painful ways, The only reason you'd ever want to be one is for your motivations.
Gyomei's found family of eight was slaughtered by a demon let in by one of the children, Betrayal was his motive. Sanemi's mother slaughtered his siblings, Anger was his. Shinobu, Revenge. Giyuu, Grief. Muichiro, His memories. Even someone like Mitsuri had the simple yet powerful desire to help people.
Everyone had a motivation, Everyone except [F/N].
[F/N] said nothing, His body freezing in place not just from the weather.
"I.. I.." He mumbled.
He twitched his fingers, Shuffled around his foot in the snow as he tried to search for a response.
"..It's cold. We can discuss this later, Ideally in a warmer environment." [F/N] finally concluded.
Gyomei didn't make a move, Only for a second. Then he nodded.
"Alright then.. Let's go then.."
☆♡☆
"The first time in centuries, An opportunity has finally presented itself. A way to conquer the sun." Muzan finished his announcement, His voice echoing out to every corner of the Infinity castle.
He stood far off, On higher ground than any of the uppermoons below him--Some kneeling in respect and others listening patiently.
Muzan's voice, Though still the dark commanding tone persisted, It had a new lilt to it. It was something they had never heard before, It was something lighter and almost relieved if they didn't know any better.
"I fully expect all of you to focus all of your efforts into finding and capturing the Kamado girl. Alive." Muzan emphasised from where he stood pacing, The usual lab equipment he had out was behind him untouched.
At the start of the meeting, When the biwa string called- It had been announced that both Uppermoon five and four had been slew.
First it was the previous number six, Daki and Gyutaro. Their death's hadn't been a spectacle as they were the lowest rank and as Muzan had put it: Predictable. Daki was holding Gyutaro back, End of story.
But now that two Upper ranks were defeated together, The tone in the castle had shifted. The onset of worry now seeping into the atmosphere most evident by both Akaza and Kaigaku.
Though by the end the information brought out by their deaths had brought about a new shift in the air, A way to conquer the sun right at their fingertips.
"From here on out you are to act more diligently. You are not to rest until you find and capture Nezuko Kamado, I don't care how you do it nor do I want to know, You get it done" Muzan finished, Turning away from the audience below.
"Do not disappoint me"
And with that, Shoji doors slammed shut and he had gone.
The silence ruminated loud within the infinity castle, Louder than any shout or scream could ever be. The finality of his words being the only thing whisping away at them.
"Ah.. A demon girl resistant to the sun? How interesting..!" Douma exclaimed from where he sat, A fan raised over his face to conceal the malicious smile creeping up on him. "I wonder.. Which one of us will be able to get to her first?"
Douma looked over at Akaza, Who hadn't moved from his kneeling position on the floor. Though the cracked glass blue of his eyes shifted up to Douma at the hint towards him.
Akaza knew what Douma was doing, And he clenched his teeth at it.
"Akaza-dono.. What about you?" Douma teased, The fan covering his face did no good to hide the edges of his grin which was now spread from ear to ear.
Akaza's lips trembled, The urge to say something itched at his tongue yet the warning Kokushibo had gave him earlier made it feel too heavy to move in his mouth.
"Hmm..?" Douma insisted, Leaning closer towards number three.
"Back. Off" Akaza hissed lowly, The threat only made Douma laugh it off. Though his eyes narrowed as he watched Akaza march off, To which he cocked his head to the side.
"Kaigaku-dono, How about you? As one of the newest members I'm absolutely dying to hear your opinion!" Douma hummed. A predatorial glint shone in his multichromatic eyes as he stared down his subordinate.
Kaigaku froze in place, Looking back at Douma like he had snakes for hair.
"E-Eh..?!" Kaigaku stuttered. His clawed fingers fidgeting with the edges of his ebony kimono, The mere acknowledgement of his superior was enough to send him into a nervous halt.
"Come on, Don't give me the cold shoulder now~!" Douma persisted.
Kaigaku gulped.
"W-Well I personally am g-going to-!"
A sudden sensation of freezing water ran down his back, Caught off by the sudden presence lurking behind him.
"Douma.. Maybe if you spent more time taking your duties as Upper two more seriously and less time distracting my Tsuguko.. You would find out who gets the Kamado girl first.." Kokushibo said, Towering behind Kaigaku to look down at Douma.
Though Kokushibo was never one to care what Uppermoons did to their lower counterparts, He did get a little irritated at the lack of commitment to Muzan's cause.
"Ah..! Apologies, Kokushibo-dono. I wish good luck to you..!" Douma called out as he walked off.
"Nakime!" Kokushibo called out to the biwa lady. And with a single strum both Kokushibo and Kaigaku had vanished.
☆♡☆
The large doors to the shrine opened up at the arrival of the two Hashira, The hinges creaking as it revealed the courtyard.
[F/N] and Gyomei walked inside, The courtyard grounds recently salted leaving no indication snow had fallen despite the fading flakes still gliding down.
The Kakushi Base, One of the only few demon slayer headquarters along with The Swordsmith village and the Ubuyashiki estate, As well as the newest. The base was made up of an old Shinto shrine dedicated to Inari [F/N] had came across a few years ago, And in her time as a slayer had been made into The Kakushi base. Before then all operations were relegated to the Ubuyashuki estate.
But now after being renovated several additions to the blueprints were added. More rooms and hallways covering the top half of the mountain for storage and activities. A third floor with several Kasugai crows coming in and out of their aviary assigned with missions. And finally was the library, A place where records of all sorts were kept.
Of course, It still being a shrine did still hold importance as most of the slayer operations had been assigned to the lower floors while the main area was used for religious practice. During the day it was quieter, With only a few shrine-maidens walking about. But at night The Kakushi activity was more prevalent.
Still very early in the morning, A lot of Kakushi were still about and greeted both [F/N] and Gyomei with respect as they passed. Either lurking around for business or resting up.
In the springtime wisteria bloomed all around, Yet as the winter came in the wisteria had died and given entrance for snowfall.
Opening the main doors and closing the door they both felt the relief of the shrine's warmth wash over them from the unrelenting cold outside.
"Welp.. We're here!" [F/N] exclaimed, Resting his hands onto his hips. Gyomei nodded, Turning towards him.
"So.. About your resignation.." Gyomei started, But was instantly interrupted by [F/N]'s groan.
"Ah right, forgot about that.." He breathed, Pinching the temple of his mask. Gyomei shook his head lightly.
"There is no avoiding the topic.. It is better if we discuss this over now than later.." Gyomei stated, Despite the walk giving them enough time to think he hadn't shaken in his opinion "If I may ask.. What do you plan on doing once you retire?"
The question seemed to make [F/N]'s lip twitch, A movement that the mask mimicked perfectly. In that moment, [F/N] silently thanked Inari for Gyomei's blindness.
"..Ah, You know. Drink a surplus of sake.. Go for a real long rest.. Maybe I'll take a little trip abroad north, I'll see if I'm in the mood." [F/N] drawled.
"It pains me to know how little you are dedicated to your job.. Fujimori-san." Gyomei mourned. [F/N] sighed.
"Listen, Himejima-san.. I know-"
"Master?"
A voice cut off from down the hallway they stood in. [F/N] peered over Gyomei's shoulder to find the source.
Genya Shinazugawa stood at the end of the hallway. He was dressed in a sleeping yukata and held a pillow under his arms, [F/N] remarked to himself about how much he looked like his brother.
Gyomei turned around.
"Ah.. Shinazugawa-san.. I see you are doing well.." Gyomei greeted as Genya walked down the hall towards the two Hashira.
Suddenly however, A realisation stabbed into [F/N] like a pike.
"Himejima-san.. Did you bring both of your Tsuguko here..?" [F/N] whispered lowly only Gyomei could hear. [F/N]'s expression seemed empty now, Devoid of emotion and instead replaced with a serious demeanour.
He raised a brow.
"Yes.. Both of them are here, I decided to bring them with me.." Gyomei said. Finally letting Genya catch up to the two of them, He finally noticed Fujimori who went hidden due to Gyomei's height.
Genya stopped once he finally saw [F/N], Realisation of who he was and his portfolio hit him hard, Before bowing in respect.
"F-Fujimori-sama! I'm sorry.. Was I interrupting anything?" Genya asked, Realising the position the two were in.
[F/N] looked once at Genya, Then Gyomei.
"No, No. You're fine.. Apparently the snowstorm outside is going to get worse, You two should stay here for tonight.." [F/N] chuckled, His serious expression now turning light once more before walking off.
"Fujimori-san, We are not-"
"Goodnight, Himejima-san." [F/N] asserted with a finality in tone.
[F/N] waved once behind him.
"Rest up, You two!"
☆♡☆
The door closed lightly behind her, A loud click resonating out.
[F/N] took a few barefoot steps down the stairs feeling the warm water submerge her ankles. She sunk further, Watching as the aqua parted to make way for her as she reached waist length.
Mist rose up from the pool, Mixing with the cherry lotus incense drifting through the air and crafting a new potent steamier aroma.
[F/N] felt herself sink until the water reached her neck, Bubbles rising up tickled at her skin once they popped. [F/N] let out a large sigh, As if she had been holding her breath for too long.
"I'll miss this.." She hummed. Her wary muscles relaxing as she felt her entire body melt into mush.
Today had been a long day. When she took her mask off she was just known as [F/N], The head-maiden of the shrine, And being head-maiden brought upon a lot of duties such as leading prayer ceremonies or just the daily tasks around the shrine.
As soon as she had slipped off the mask as Fujimori and came out as [F/N], Her day had started. Brushing the floors, Avoiding Gyomei and his Tsuguko's, Handing out orders to the other maidens in the shrine and tending to both the crows and the injured Kakushi; All in her daily work.
Not to mention her daily training. Four hours of meditation in the morning, Her workout in the afternoon and her night-time prayer ceremony had taken a lot out of her.
So as [F/N] let her aching muscles be remedied by the water, She couldn't help but let her worries slip away from her; Her nightmares, Retirement, Shizuko.. Only to be replaced by the foggy steam of the bathhouse.
She wished she could stay like this forever, To be swept away by the warmth and never get out.
So [F/N] sunk lower, Soon enough the tip of her chin was submerged, Then her mouth, Then her nose. All the way until she could no longer be seen from the surface.
[F/N]'s body floated in the water. Watching as the bathhouse lights become blurrier and blurrier as she descended further, It distorted until it was only a glowing overlay in the aqua.
She heard the sound around her be muffled by the water, The sound of talk in other rooms, A slow click and the soft sound of the bubbles ascending.
Her lips parted, Letting her breaths come up in air pockets and rise back up to the top. Straining her eyes in the water the pressure of it comforted her like a blanket on a cold night, Eternally staring up at the distorted light as her breath was taken away.
Her lungs depressed, But it didn't matter. To [F/N] this was Nirvana, Heaven or Valhalla, Whatever you believed to be waiting for you after death. Her lungs depressing wasn't important now.
In truth, [F/N] was a shintoist, She has been for as long as she could remember. She believed once people died they returned to nature, Their souls energy going back to where they came.
It sounded peaceful to her, Warm, Never cold. The last bit of oxygen escaped her trained lungs; Lips finally closing.
The water only got hotter, Bubbles rising up quicker and quicker before suddenly her eyes bolted open, Now aware of the presence in the room.
The light she had been staring at was obscured by a hazy figure. She rose up quicker than she had sunk gasping for air.
She surfaced with a large splash, Making the figure flinch away from the sudden movement. A loud desperate inhale let out only interrupted by coughs erupting from her throat.
She flung the top half of her body over the edge of the pool, Hanging on as if her life depended on it and coughing up spurts of water.
"Ah! I'm so sorry, I thought..-" The figure stuttered. [F/N] hauled her head up to find that it was a young boy clad in demon slayer uniform, A checkered haori hanging off him.
"W-What the.. Who are you?" [F/N] wheezed, Wiping her lips. She could of sworn she had locked the door, How someone got in here evaded her.
"Ah.. My name is Tanjiro Kamado, I came in here because I saw Fujimori-san's haori on the hook outside.. Um.. I'm so sorry, I must of been mistaken.." Tanjiro apologised, Quickly turning away.
The checkered haori, Right.
"N-No.. No.. What is it that you want Fujimori-san for?" [F/N] asked, Spitting out the last of the water.
"Oh, Uh.. I was told that he had some information on my breathing style from Kanroji-san, Do you know where he is by any chance?" Tanjiro said, Not turning around.
"No, But I'm the head shrine-maiden here, I know just about as much as he does.." [F/N] said.
"Really? Would it be alright if I talked to you for a bit?" Tanjiro asked, Back still turned to the woman digging her nails into the floorboards.
"Sure.. Just, Why aren't you turning around?" [F/N] asked.
"U-Um.. You're sort of.. Naked?" He responded nervously.
"Ah! Get out, Get out!" [F/N] screamed out, Grabbing and holding up one of her sandles to throw.
"I'm sorry! I'm sorry! AHHHH-!"
☆♡☆
[F/N] sat herself down on the tatami mat, Fixing up her haori.
"Well then, I apologise for my indecency earlier.. I believe you had some information you wanted to know about breathing styles?" [F/N] asked. Picking up the cup of sake-infused tea she took a sip, The boiling liquid not affecting her as it ran down her throat.
Both Tanjiro and [F/N] sat in one of the rooms of the shrine, Sitting on parallel sides of their little table with a tea-set hot and ready.
At the back on [F/N]'s side was a handmaiden watching over them with the teapot in hand, Ready to serve.
"Yes! I've been to several places around including Mr. Rengoku's old estate, However their records were unfortunately.. Damaged. I was hoping you would have any records or information for me." Tanjiro explained, Picking up his own cup of tea he blew on it before he took a short sip.
[F/N] hummed.
"Describe your breathing style to me." [F/N] asked, Setting her cup down.
"Like.. How it looks?"
"Yep.. How it looks." She confirmed
Tanjiro took a second to think.
"Well.. It's kind of like Mr. Rengoku's breathing, But it's more.. Bright. It's hotter.. I learned water breathing from the old water hashira and this one from my father… He called it Hinokami Kagura." Tanjiro said, Snapping his fingers at the end in recollection.
[F/N]'s finger circled the rim of the cup.
"Hinokami Kagura… I see.." She drawled "Well, Nothing exactly comes to mind.." She finished, Careful to pronounce every syllable while distracted by her thoughts.
Tanjiro's smile dropped ever so slightly.
"Ah.. Alright then, Thank you anyways for your help.." He said as he bowed his head down.
"..But the library may have something that could give you some insight" [F/N] continued.
Tanjiro perked his head up, Eyes slightly opening in interest.
"The library?" He queried
"Yes, The library. It's on the other side of the shrine, First floor. It holds the vast majority of information collected over a few centuries, Both relating to demon slayers and not. If there is any info about your breathing at all then it will be there in the library." [F/N] said. She recalled the several nights mulling over the information in there for her nightmares, If anything was it would be there.
Tanjiro nodded, The smile reappearing in his face.
"This is very helpful, Thank you so much… Um.." A look of puzzlement came over him. "I'm sorry.. You never told me your name?"
"Oh.. My name is [F/N-"
A sudden throb came from her chest, An ache making her keel over on the table, Dropping her boiling hot tea all over the tatami mat.
[F/N] yelped out in pain as The Handmaiden from behind her rushed over to [F/N]'s side with a napkin. Tanjiro also got up and ran to her adjacent side.
"[F/N]-sama! Are you alright?" The handmaiden asked in concern, Trying to dry the stains left on her kimono.
[F/N] only gripped the core of her chest, Pressing down hard and grabbing a fistful of her kimono in the process. She coughed up liquid from within her throat, To which her handmaiden, Maika, Provided a handkerchief for.
"Is it your chest, [F/N]-sama?" Maika pleaded as [F/N] wiped the last of the residue off her mouth.
[F/N] nodded.
"I-I'll go get some medicine! I'll be back soon!" Maika exclaims. She suddenly gets up from her position comforting [F/N] to rush out of the room in search of a remedy.
"Are you sure you're alright?" Tanjiro asked with concern, Resting a hand on [F/N]'s shoulder.
"Yes.. I'm fine.." [F/N] said through clenched teeth. This must of been an after-affect of her bath earlier, A small bit of water probably still lingered in her lungs causing her body to cough it back up.
Tanjiro's nose twitched, His expression only got more wary. [F/N] noticed, Catching the spasm easily she waved him off.
"I'm fine.. Just, I'll take you down to the archives tomorrow alright? I need a bit more rest tonight.." She said. Looking up to the younger boy's singed eyes, Who stared back into hers with a sincere truth.
"..Alright then, Thank you for your time anyways.. [F/N]-san" He bowed his head lightly and got up from the kneeling position on the floor.
"Goodnight, Tanjiro." [F/N] called out to him as he left, He smiled and bowed once more before closing the shoji door entirely.
She was once again left alone in the solidarity of the tea-room. Lukewarm tea splotches dried into her kimono and the tatami mat around her.
The slow throbbing ache in her chest remained in her chest, Small wheezes coming out under her breath every time her lungs decreased. [F/N] chided herself for her stupidity, She should of been more aware of her surroundings, She should of checked.
The shoji door slid open once more, Revealing Maika standing awkwardly in the doorway, Fiddling with her hair.
"So.. Erm.. It turns out due to the current winter.. We're out of the necessary ingredients to make a herbal remedy and.." Maika stuttered, Avoiding eye contact with the woman hunched over infront of her.
"It's fine, Maika.." [F/N] said. However her words didn't do much to stop Maika.
"..H-However the nearest village should have some in stock, I'll go down and gather the right ingredients for you!" She explained.
"..Maika, The snow outside has picked up. I don't want you to get hurt so it's probably best if you stay inside before it gets any worse." [F/N] explained.
"But.. Uhm.. Uhh.." Maika stuttered, Trying to stall enough time to come up with a good reason.
Maika, One of the newer, Younger shrine-maidens. A small mousy sort of girl with untidy golden hair shepherded with ribbons into a ponytail, Complete with the shrine maiden uniform of red hakama trousers and a white kosobe. She had passed final selection yet had refrained from becoming both a slayer and a kakushi.
So she came to the shrine instead to become a maiden, It only made sense that she would want to prove herself to [F/N]. To do her best, To be of some help to people she cared about.
[F/N] supposed she could understand.
"Alright then." [F/N] cut off Maika's babble with two single words. Her eyes widened and sparked up in the light.
"R-Really?! Okay! Uhm.. I'll go do it then..!" Maika exclaimed, Turning around to move outside the room.
"But!" [F/N] interrupted. Maika turned back around.
"If you are to go out, You must find some heavier clothing. And don't try to descend the mountain alone, Find a Kakushi to come with you, Okay?" [F/N] laid down the rules to her like a mother explaining them to her child.
Maika nodded rather feverishly.
[F/N] smirked, Only slightly.
"You'll do good here, Maika." [F/N] mumbled, Maika's face lit up in a large smile ear to ear.
"Thank you, [F/N]-sama! I won't disappoint!" She exclaimed.
And with that, She was off.
☆♡☆
[F/N] lay on her futon, Her eyes heavy with drowsiness and stress.
She waited on Maika coming back. She didn't mean to lie down, But unfortunately the dragging weights of exhaustion had brought her to her futon, Defeated by the day.
She didn't want to fall asleep. The ever-present threat of the nightmares ate at her mind like Oneiroi. If she could choose to stay awake forever, She would.
However as [F/N] stared up at the ceiling and saw the dark curtains close over her eyes, She could feel the singe of the chill on her skin. The crawling cold sweat running down her neck as the darkness left and the blizzard faded into view.
Closing her eyes she took a deep breath in, Letting out mist as she exhaled.
And as she opened them back up, The storm had risen.
☆♡☆
Kaigaku trudged through the snow, The cold tickling his sandals barely affecting him as he navigated his way through the dark alleyways in search of a meal.
The village had barely anyone in it. He knew as Uppermoon six he could of easily wiped out the entire town, But he liked the game, The hunt for prey, Not the one and done destruction.
His artic coloured eyes scanned over the group of people over at the market, Though dwindled by the storm the crowd was still there, Gathered round the snow covered stall.
He looked at everyone of them, His teeth bare and wide not being able to contain his giddy smile.
He wondered how he could lure each of them individually, How easy it would be to make them cower in front of him, Squeezing out all the superiority from them and consuming it like a parasite.
Then he'd bite into their limbs, Tearing them apart as they screamed and cried for help. Kaigaku couldn't hold back much longer, The mere hunger pounding at his stomach ached for him to feed.
But then, One specific person came into focus.
They had ran over to the stall he was staring at in a hurry. A look of urgency in their eyes, But that's not what drawed him in, No.
It was the kakushi uniform they had adorned.
He seemed to be accompanying another girl, Of what looked like to be a shrine-maiden. They both had ran up to the merchant, Asking for herbs.
His eyes widened at the sight. If he couldn't hold back his grin by now then he was smiling like a madman in a straightjacket at this point.
Kakushi, Rarely seen yet held such worthwhile information for demons. He licked his lips, He could hold off his hunger for just a little while longer.
This was a chance to prove himself to Kokushibo after all.
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